#gotta start appreciating my writing again lawd

[poursomesunaonme]

thanks for the tag ix !! i needed a little dose of this today :')

ᝰ saw you in a dream

- jean/reader, 60k+ (still truckin along lmao), childhood friends to lovers, heavy angst (eventual... eventual comfort), pregnancy, fam life, ptsd, post-manga shit

first time ive ever looked at the total word count so far and omg im so proud of myself !!! i outlined this start to finish in oct of 21 and still haven't gotten around to finish it bc its so heavy but ugh it makes me feel so many things which is why i love it so much :')

ᝰ absence of innocence

- nanami/reader, 2.7k, high school lovers (no longer), hurt/no comfort, mutual pining/regret

really destroyed myself writing this but i liked how it turned into a little character study! first time i've done that and delved into the no comfort area of writing just wrecked me but i love how it turned out

ᝰ friends, just friends

- eren/reader, 2.9k, fwb, angst/fluff, skinny love

i know that when i have to take a lap when writing something that i'm gonna be proud of it lmao. also really enjoyed writing the underlying feelings into it bc who knew i could write something past just smut lMAO

ᝰ thunderstorms

- megumi/reader, 4.4k, friends to lovers, soft

this one was fun bc i usually write subby reader so for the dynamic to change was really fun to explore ! i also just love him lmao

ᝰ plundering the captain's heart

- toji/reader, 5.5k, pirate au, overall nasty/rough shit

explored a few different things here and this au was very fun to write! started planning a sequel but who knows if it'll ever get finished lmao

but anyways ! taggin @princess-okkotsu @fionarara @fuwushiguro @sparklekitteh & anyone else who wants to join in !

Alright, I was tagged by both @blondeboyfriend & @mydiluc to talk about five of my favorite fics. It's definitely a good practice in self-love and appreciation!

In no particular order:

» 1. You Bury Me — Iwaizumi/Reader, 5k, pure ANGST.

This one has a very special place in my heart because of how succinctly I captured their relationship and the fear and devastation of their situation. I've spent some time trying to get a handle on angst as I have it here. That it brings out strong emotions in people is all I want as a writer.

» 2. Sweet Possession — Erwin/Reader, ~1k, Dubcon, Demons, Sex Under the Influence.

It's one of the few SNK pieces that doesn't have me gnawing on my fist anymore. I had quite a bit of fun while writing it and it was a story I wanted to do more with but I'm happy with how it came out in so few words.

» 3. In This Together — Matsukawa/Reader, ~4k, Yandere, Consensual Smut.

I received one of my favorite comments on this fic and it's never left me. It's another fun concept for me to explore because it's not a dynamic I usually write about. I would like to return to it once I find motivation and inspiration (once writer's block and burnout stop kicking my ass).

» 4. Still Stuck On You — Iwaizumi/Reader, ~3.5k, Mutual Pining, Reunion, Falling in Love Again.

Again, this one received another really impactful comment that made me appreciate it in a different light. It's actually the resolution of the main conflict of a long fic I had once plotted, the first I was going to write for Haikyuu!! The fic itself was scraped, but the relationship I had plotted has stuck with me. I think part of what makes this special for me is that I know the depth of the conflict that drove them apart, but I'm happy with what I finished.

» 5. Promises We Exchanged — Miyuki/Reader, ~12k+, Childhood Best Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, Hurt/Comfort.

The first series to make the list, and an incomplete one at that! There is a lot of work that's been going into this one and a lot of emotional weight, too. There's a lot about this fic that I won't get into, but I'm really proud of what I have so far. I'm looking forward to finishing the story and seeing the final product.

For this, I'm going to tag (no pressure) @tyga-lily, @princesskazuya, @no1frogfan, @humanitys-strongest-bamf, @fionarara, @poursomesunaonme, and everyone else who would like to participate!

[hayakawalove]

PLEASE you’re the sweetest of hearts!! leme wipe those tears for kitten uWu! we can put bows in suguru’s hair and tie it up all pretty for the heat! I hope you have cool weather and lots of shade, yummy drinks, and sweet treats <3. I’m rly happy you have lots of time for writing and can’t wait for what’s coming!

In high school i would go travel, practice outside and compete in the midwest for dance in the summer LAWD the heat is real 😵‍💫. Now my aging self will simply perish in sunlight for more than 5 mins LASJSJKSSKSK.

Roblox is saur fun!! I started playing w my bestie during the pandemic and its all sorts of jokes XD. There’s a dress up game I love but the kids vote unfair im like ⁉️ bc how did i get 6th in a 2000s theme as brittney spears in her jean dress 🤨 im being set up i fear!

YESS i will take sm photos and vids! I acc gotta get my hot girl transformation ready since its next week 🗿 I wanna cosplay as ace from one piece for the concert :DD id def send u pics/vids if u wants hehe!!

Thank you again for being your kind, wonderful self and sharing your amazing works!! I can’t wait to yap more about my sugu hyperfixation w you<3 have a wonderful weekend!! I would drop a pic of coquette suguru but mobile asks are so weird to format -.-

-🗿

JDJDKDJFK SO ARE YOU! And I agree we should put bows in his hair. I think suguru is very. Doesn’t care OKFKEKDJDOD like I think if you were like suguru :)) can I paint your nails? Suguru :)) can I curl your hair? He’d be like yeah okay. Side note I find it so hot when straight cis men are like that. I think a lot of them don’t want to be associated with femininity, so when one of them doesn’t care what you do it makes me so ODJODJFOEJFK. AND THATS SO SWEET I have been eating so good lately honestly…. I have a very bad sweet tooth so I really need to try. Not doing that KDJDKDJDK i fear it will cause problems for me later on…. IM SO EXCITED TO SHARE THE WRITING WITH YOU!

OH WOW what kind of dance? I bet it does get hot over there. AND RIGHT SIJDKDJFKDK I can’t be in the sun for more than 2 minutes without losing it

IM SO GLAD YOURE HAVING FUN PLAYING IT and that is such a scam cause that is the biggest 2000s outfit I can think of!

ACE IS SO COOL I would love to see pics! I won’t post them if you don’t want me to but I’m sure you will look wonderful! Be safe though, concerts can have some weirdos.

YOURE SO SWEET I am so grateful to have you as a reader! And yes I love talking about suguru with you you just Understand him. I APPRECIATE YOU and HERES A COQUETTE SUGURU it’s very bad but. IDKFKDKDK

[willmelon]

i don’t usually do this but i feel Compelled to do a liveblog/review of Mouth Dreams so here goes

Please don’t read this if you haven’t heard the album yet as it’ll spoil Everything

(i’ll admit the idea came to me After i listened to Just a Baby so these first ones are gonna be relistened reviews)

first we got Yahoo. what can i say about this song? neil starts off Strong with incredibly sustained notes and just one phrase, in typical neil style. and he makes it work in so many different ways! honestly didn’t expect myself to get so attached so fast but that’s just the way his magic works ig. when the hoooooooos harmonise it almost brings tears to the eyes. i would love to see a group of choristers singing this with another guy on an electric keyboard. what a cold open. 9/10

of course then we go on to the titular track, the dimension of sound, the dimension of imagination, the dimension of doors. rod serling narrates the intro in his traditional monotone as the warbling twilight zone theme plays in the background. i tell ya i was actually Screaming when the track finished and he dropped the title! it may not be a song per se, sort of like Blockbuster from Mouth Moods, a ‘filler track’ if you will, but the effort in those fifty seconds cannot be ignored. it just goes to show once again how Good he is at what he does. 6.5/10

oh lawd, my favourite so far, Spongerock. reading the title i had absolutely No idea what to expect. the goofy goober song from the movie? winner takes all from band geeks? i was pleasantly surprised to find myself tapping out queen’s distinctive boom boom CLAP as the song progressed, and i was in complete Hysterics the whole way through, chanting along with the kids as the pirate encouraged me to sing louder. it’s such a beautiful fit the way they mesh together, and it’s one of those mashups that you listen to and think ‘why has nobody done this before?’ but neil is on a higher plane of existence than us and Knows where it’s at. you’re never the same after you’ve listened to Spongerock. 7.5/10

Just a Baby, where i stopped to begin this thing, is a melancholy song, which i’m not usually a fan of. i admit i don’t know the original song so i kept quiet until the last chorus or two. it’s the yang to the yin of Wow Wow from Moods, another sentence-mixer that was like a full Bop and barely gave you time to catch your breath. in Just a Baby you begin to empathise with the singer as he regales confusing times of his constant youth, including the time his mother (a train) shot a man in cold blood. it’s a powerful ballad, and it’s got a tasteful amount of justin bieber adding backing vocals to the chorus. i may have to deduct a few points cos the lyrics are gonna be hard af to remember. 7/10

ok next up we got Superkiller. this one’s totally blind! i’m. ehhhhh okay not diggin this one very much. ok that say something once line being repeated was comedy gold but talking heads are just like. kinda tuneless tbh. i’m glad he’s trying to lassoo it together with u can’t touch this but it’s kinda falling short tbh. i wouldn’t skip it but it’s not as memorable as the previous ones. 5/10

starting Get Happy. i’m not gonna lie i think i Know what this is, there are only so many options after all. i predict it’s a mix of “get dancin’” by disco-tex and the sex-o-lettes and “happy” by bahrrel williams, and i really hope that ain’t the case cos i Love the first one but despise the latter. oh well let’s see if he can pull it off. sounds like village green by the kinks so far lol uhhhh i have no idea what to make of this. okay i feel like i’m gonna like this after all. hey it’s got memorable lyrics at least! is it gonna get faster? or just more bassy? yknow maybe i was too critical at the start, but i had no idea what to expect. this is a feel-good pop song and it’s definitely making me feel happier than i was when i was listening to Superkiller. 7/10

Ribs? wtf do i expect from a song called Ribs lmao another song i’ve never heard of IH IT’S EVERYBODY WANTS TO RULE TH WORLD OH YEEEEEEEEES omg i Love this song i sing it to myself when i’m walkin my dog cos his little paws click-clack on the pavement to the exact rhythm of the song omg i’m in Love! another one with odd lyrics but i think after a Lot of repeat listening i’ll be able to properly croon along to this one omg! it reminds me of Best from Mouth Silence in that they’re both about products, only instead of folgers in your cup it’s about chili’s baby back ribs omg neil you’re Perfect! how come more advertisers haven’t contacted you for a product placement deal?? 7.5/10

next we got My Mouth. welcome to? who knows let’s hit play. ooooh minor key. is this a real song? it sounds like oney singing a cover of something. oh That’s the gimmick? 2:30 long i hope there’s something else tbh cos otherwise it’s gonna get pretty thin pretty fast. mm not a fan. the weakest so far imo especially after Ribs blew me away. definitely a bad dream. 3.5/10

Aerolong don’t fail me now! okay see This is how you do a mashup. I DON’T MISS YOU BABAY AND I DO WANNA MISS A THING THAT’S GOLD!! this is just a song about saying bye to your ex lmao i love it. wish it was longer though. 6/10

Sleepin’ here we go! ok in the youtube version the first half of this song is just silence so that wasn’t fun. gee this one’s only moderately better than My Mouth i’m feeling very shortchanged. 4/10

what to expect from Aamoorree? hopefully this one’s another jam but...okay i’m likin this one. it’s Fun and isn’t trying too hard! it’s just a drunk dean martin singing about pizza pie on karaoke night, what more could you ask for lol. 6/10

Where Is My Mom? by the p-p-p-pooo-oo-ooo-oooool of course. i don’t recognise the other song but it’s decent. i’ve listened to slowed-down songs before (the sludgefest chipmunks albums lately) and this one’s kinda ok. not a fan of the ending but points for effort ig. 5.5/10

Fredhammer ay? might there be some peter gabriel in there? undoubtedly. yup there it is lol ok now bring in the flintstones? oh ig that’s fred durst? mm not totally feeling it so far but censoring he** was funny lmao HEY THERE’S SEINFELD i’m wheezin that was a good way to end a song, well done neil. 6.5/10

here goes Limp Wicket. i’m on the edge of my seat. and Again i’m disappointed. is this a bunch of ewoks singing some kind of star wars song? or is it jarjar? either way this is Not a good song. it probably wasn’t before he mashed it up but this wasn’t an improvement. bringing in Fredhammer didn’t help this song much at all, in fact i think it brought both songs down actually. last one was a 7/10 but i Have to dock it points now that it’s a two-parter. as for this one? i’m being generous cos the limp bizkit song was good. 1/10

Cannibals runs for 4 minutes. PLEASE don’t let this be a repeat of the last one. i get that miners can’t dig up gold every time but don’t just show up with a bunch of rocks and iron pyrites yknow i’m just gonna start. i don’t want to be angry at this album. i recognise that sound in the bg! from a cyriak vid i think. thx comin in. loooooooong drone. ugh UGH there are Too many lucid dreams on this album. starting to regret liveblogging this cos i Loved the other three mouth albums. this one’s just falling flat again and again. 3/10

here comes The Outsiders. there is NOTHING to say about this. 1.5/10

come on Johnny. okay that got a laugh out of me, not many songs start with a booing crowd like that, is that meta? wouldn’t put it past him tbh. ah i’ll give it a 5/10, for a kinda filler song it wasn’t too bad.

Closerflies, this has gotta be gold. PLEASE. intro’s goin on for a little too long...mm having never heard the original version of closer i gotta admit i thought it’d be faster, like the one used in Rollercloser in Silence. this version seems very sloppy and sluggish, especially the bassline. 3/10

Nightmovin’ i’m not expecting much OH good intro oh YES now here we go. this is a good one, it’s got clear lyrics and a catchy tune, i’m liking this one more and more by the second. cuts off weird but it’s going into the next one. so i’m gonna leave the rating out of this one and see how it is after the next one.

Whitehouse i’m holding my breath. mm it’s Good but not great tbh. criminal that the last one was half as long as this one. think i’m gonna give both of these songs a 5/10 i doubt they’ll be anyone’s favourites. the title is a nice little joke too i respect that.

Wah! what’s neil’s obsession with using wannabe as a source lmao! it’s another decent one but nothing memorable again. 5/10

Pee Wee Inc i’m expecting big things. good intro I’M IN LOVE okay this is Much better than i imagined it’d be. did he use the radio edit of feel good inc? this is a heck of a way to bring it back to the gold stuff and i wouldn’t be surprised if this is what neil’s head sounds like all the time. 7/10

on to 10,000 Spoons. not sure what to expect from the title. okay this is a Nice one i think. throwback to the likes of Just a Baby with the two songs and the sentence mixing and it’s Good. and really 10,000 spoons is So ironic anyway, don’t you think? 7/10

oh another song called Mouth Dreams? an extro? that was Weird lol ok the intro i wasn’t too keen on, def not as much as the intro, but i got to appreciate it as it went on. like Rlly appreciate it i was beginning to reflect on what a journey i’d been through tonight, especially writing it all down. felt very poetic. and then WHAM, out of nowhere, after being gone for 23 songs, all-star came Back and How! gotta give this one a 7.5/10

keep the train rolling Brithoven! i can hear faint bits of instruments in britney’s song in the back of her audio which sound like a mistake but knowing neil.......yah lmao. this song’s kinda like Promenade (Satellite Pictures at an Exhibition) from Mouth Sounds, i liked what i heard. very nice. 6.5/10

the final song. we’re gonna be hit one more time for Ain’t! and i have NO idea what i’m in for! in the hall of the mountain king eh? is this like a way of looping around to the first song of the first album with classical music? ok the snoring’s a nod to Bustin i’m sure lmao funny anyway. i thought i heard a hey now in there but i must be going nuts. wouldn’t call it a grand finale but it is what it is. 5/10

now the question that must be asked - was Mouth Dreams trying to make a point? was there a reasons so many songs were of lower-quality than previous albums? perhaps it’s just a matter of taste, or perhaps it’s as rod said back on track two, that this album is a doorway into another dimension, and the further you progress, the more mind-rattling, brain-melting concepts you come across. the album gets an average of 5.5 which is kinda disappointing. don’t think i’ll be listening to the whole thing again. thanks for reading!

[bughead-bound-blog]

Riverdale Ep. 9: La Grande Illusion

Holy.

HOLY GUYS, HOLY SMOKES!!! Big ass long toothed meta puke about episode 9 bitties below. Spoilers, flails, a lot of screaming. YOU’VE BEEN WARNED. 

OK so, the opening --

as a Canadian, this hella spoke to me on a whole other level. Hahahaha (I’m laughing but maple syrup is no laughing matter. THIS AIN’T NO GAME. $50/L ain’t no joke, what are we giggling about here? No smiling.)

Then right after that AGGGHHHKKKK--

OMG BUGHEAD RIGHT IN OUR FACE STRAIGHT OUT OF THE GATE <3 <3  “We’ll figure it out . . . come here.” That sly little glance. I’M DEAD. I’M DEAD OK? This is a long way from “Also?” . . . *almost choking* so I’m just gonna go ahead and assume that THE BOY HAS HAD PRACTICE SINCE THEN. ON THAT BED. WHY NOT. I’m just gonna go over here and die now.  Oh, wait what? That wasn’t the end of the episode? I got what I came for in the first two minutes. 

. . . HA LAWD THERE’S MORE?!

Also here’s my bonus not-so-mini meta rant about Mama Cooper coming in and bustin’ up the party when they were so blatantly kissing ON BETTY’S BED, and Alice doesn’t even bat an eyelash. Remember when Alice was lecturing Betty about Archie and forcing her to get in the car because she didn’t want her associating with him? Didn’t even want to hear that her daughter was friends with Archie and tried to ban it. I thought it was because she didn’t want Betty getting knocked up but now here’s Jughead, in Betty’s bedroom, ON HER BED, KISSING HER. And Alice does not care. 

Was it because Alie thought Archie looked too much like Jason? I have no idea. But Alice has been so uptight about Betty “not growing up too fast” like Polly, wearing makeup and seeing boys. But SHE’S FINE WITH JUGHEAD. Inexplicably in her daughter’s room on her bed making out with her. 

So this tells me she must actually know Jug quite well seeing him and Betty have been friends for so long. She approves because we already know that if Alice had a problem, SHE’D VOICE IT. But she trusts Jughead not to take advantage of her daughter and respect her because she must know how much Betty means to Jughead AND AUHMUHGOD AND- *Megaphone* ALICE COOPER TRUSTS JUGHEAD WITH BETTY. THAT IS ALL. 

Jesus Christ, my SO is going to come home and find a body on the couch because THIS SHOW IS GOING TO END ME with cuteness and feels. MOVING ALONG HERE . . .  (Wait wait wait before we do does anyone else here sporadically burst out laughing because Betty’s mom is named Alice Cooper and, well, you know . . . Alice Cooper? 

No? Just me? OK actually moving on here . . . 

Can I just say how much I appreciate this adaptation of Veronica Lodge? The scenes with her and Ethel -- wow. I can’t bow down to the writers enough for doing such a justice with her character in this adaptation. She is powerful, witty, intelligent, moral, considerate, and she has a huge heart. While she always had a big heart in the comics, she was prone to selfishness and snobbery. Putting Veronica’s family in the situation they created with Hiram has resulted in such an empathetic and generous Ronnie. My heart is full with how precious and strong her character is on this show. <3  Veronica and the news about Ethel’s dad. HOLY. SWEET. LORD. OK I am actually having trouble seeing what I’m writing because I’m still cryin’ RN seeing that girl break down. And Betty crouching down on the floor to hold her . . . MY HEART. Then her and Betty going to visit Ethel’s dad at the hospital . . . damn. That takes a bravery I can’t even comprehend. I’m glad that Ethel and Ronnie are bigger than their parents and decide to stay friends. <3 

And MY GOD, Hermoine Lodge is being put through the ringer this episode and I just want to fucking hold her. X_X Fred dumping her kind of destroyed me a little inside. *Smoking wreck*

Alright switch it up again -- the ArchiexCheryl/Blossoms arc is disturbing as hell. O_O Them literally preying on Archie’s vulnerability and desperation to solidify his career in music and protect his father by reigning him in and bribing him? FUCK. -_- Just . . . fuck. Archie tried to put up a good fight here. We saw how this conflicted with his morality and I felt bad for him. It’s difficult to say no when your future and your father’s are on the line. -_- Oh, Archie. I’m still trying to root for you, bud.  (A CHERRY ‘84 GIBSON LES PAUL I’D BE A SLUT4BLOSSOM, TOO.) But . . . “I swear Archibald when the light hits you just right . . . “ I PHYSICALLY SHUDDERED. (P.S: WHAT👏IS👏GOING👏ON👏WITH👏POLLY? Her infiltration scheme got me SHOOK, good LAWD) Also . . . Cheryl by the pool in that diamond choker and blue dress? Holy hot mother of God, I gotta fan myself over here. SO HOT I -- woah. WOAH. Archie and Cheryl now? -_- *Facepalms so hard my hand goes through my face to the back of my skull* Archie. Archie ARCHIE -- oh. O_O Oh. He . . . he made the right choice. GUYS he did the right thing.  LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, ARCHIE ANDREWS MADE THE CORRECT CHOICE ON RIVERDALE CAN I GET A FUCK YEAH

Hal firing Alice and her firing a rock through his window and walking off like a boss? HAHAHAHA Not going to lie . . . I am living for this psycho Alice shit.

ALICE WRITING FOR THE BLUE AND GOLD DAUGHTER-BOYFRIEND-MOMMY TEAM OMFGGGGGG I AM A CORPSE WRITING THIS RN-

WE INTERRUPT THIS PROGRAM FOR MORE BUGHEAD. (Saving the best for last)

“Betty don’t do that. Don’t give up. . . . you’re so much stronger than all of the white noise. You’re stronger than your mother. You’re stronger than your father. You’re holding this family together. So don’t. Don’t let go.” “I won’t.”  THE WAY THAT HE TAKES HER COLLAR BEFORE PULLING HER IN FOR A WARM HUG. SO BEAUTIFUL TAN OUTTA TAN HELP ME 

Every time Betty starts to spiral Jughead is right there for her saying exactly what she needs to hear. And watching this scene reminded me of those stressful times in my life when I’d start panicking because I’m overwhelmed with school or work or life in general and the SO would just come over and hold me and say exactly what had to be said to calm me down. What I’m trying to say is, Bughead feels so genuine. I am actually taken aback by how authentic their interactions are as a healthy couple. 

Last thoughts:

HIRAM LODGE. I HAD SUSPECTED HIRAM LODGE AND NOW HE’S ON THE BOARD.

CHERLY BLOSSOM HAS GONE FULL DARK NO STARS.

Favorite quotes: “Cheryl . . .” -- “That was a joke, you hobo.” “The ice woman cometh.” “I talked to Valerie and she’s cool with it.” -- “Cool with you being a jigalo now?” “He’s also pimping himself out to Cheryl.” (Jughead was savage fire with the male escort quips) 

But Valerie takes it with the quotes of the episode for me, folks:

“Wouldn’t you rather earn your place at that table?” . . . “Sorry Archie. Unlike you, I won’t be bought.”

This girl is so worthy. #SORRYARCHIBALD.