#gotta make her fall in love with me yaknow

[mer-se]

Breathing the same air as jodie comer in April and idk how to act rn

[aerequets]

can you give me some webtoon recommendations? name some of your favorites! :)

i am here to answer folks 😎

all of these webtoons can be found on webtoons.com! I'm not sure about the whole daily pass thing they've got going on (which sucks tbh) but like,,, you could probably find it online illegally. NOT THAT I CONDONE ILLEGAL ACTIVITY HAHAHAHA ᵖˢˢᵗ ⁱᶠ ʸᵒᵘ ˡᵒᵒᵏ ⁱᵗ'ˢ ᵗʰᵉʳᵉ

I'll split these up between completed and in progress :) most are still in progress though

COMPLETED

1) Gourmet Hound (166 chapters)

this is like, my all time favorite webtoon. it follows Lucy and her quest to find all the chefs that left her favorite restaurant, Dimanche! it’s a really heartfelt story and the food illustrations make you really hungry, so make sure you have a snack before you sit down to read it. each character’s name is also food-related, so that’s pretty cool too! and the diversity in this webtoon is AMAZING. it’s the only webtoon i’ve ever read that has a hijabi character in the main cast. the development is done really well and it explores themes of loving and letting go. all in all, it has a bit of everything. i personally love food-related things, and this centers around it, so i was set LOL

(also a bonus is that this webtoon has NOT succumbed to daily pass hell, so you can binge read the whole thing. legally.)

2) Hooky (200 chapters)

if you like stories of witches, this is the one! the summary and beginning chapters are deceptively lighthearted. DO NOT BE FOOLED! the story really develops further on and explores numerous conflicts, a big one being (if i remember correctly) witch vs. nonwitch. if you like to see struggles between two sides, not a good-and-evil but just people-who-want-the-best-for-themselves-and-their-loved-ones type of thing, this is good for that. also, sibling love! the two main characters are Dani and Dorian, and while there is someee romance, i like how this story centers around the siblings first and foremost. ALSO THE ART??? I LOVE HOW THE AUTHOR DRAWS SETTINGS SO MUCH and am unabashedly jealous because i am completely incapable of doing so   just like,,,, even if the story doesn’t pull you in, you can at least stare at each panel for long stretches of time.

(unfortunately succumbed to daily pass, but you can read it on mangaowl or manganelo!)

3) Spirit Fingers (167 chapters)

aww, this one is cute. Amy is 18 and lacking in self confidence (her family definitely doesn’t help). but HEY she joins a wacky art club!! without her parents knowing!! HECK YEAH!! unfortunately it takes more than joining an art club for her to learn to love herself (it is a long journey after all!). i love this webtoon because it explores the problems of multiple people, not just amy: her high achieving brothers, her mother who had to give up her dream, the different members in the art club, Amy’s girl friends. the art is unique and has a cool watercolor-y texture! and the main couple is just adorable, too. if you’re an artist especially, i recommend this because that’s a big theme and you get to see these characters expand their art styles! which is very cool!

(you can read this one fully on 1stkissmanga)

now here’s where the majority of my recs are:

IN PROGRESS (all can be read on webtoon.com)

1) The Makeup Remover (currently 71 chapters)

i look forward to this every tuesday and friday because oh man!!!!!!!!! idk about you guys, but i am thinking about beauty standards A Large Amount of the time, especially when i consume media. and this webtoon is all about beauty standards (specifically in Korea, but still applicable like. everywhere). Main character Yeseul ends up having to partake in this beauty competition and, with her experiences through it, she begins seeing makeup and beauty standards for the huge role they play in society. i said it already but i LOVE LOVE LOVE this webtoon because it really challenges you as a reader to think about your own perspectives. why do we find the things/people beautiful that we do? what shapes our perception? how much of it is marketing, and how much of it shows in our daily lives? what assumptions do you make about people based on how they look? AGHH im sounding like an essay prompt instead of a reviewer but man. if you like webtoons that examine society through a critical lens (gosh i sound like an english teacher), this is the one. 

2) Odd Girl out (currently 261 chapters; on season 2) 

okay, first and foremost: if you’re NOT into long winded drama, this probably isn’t it for you. i will admit im not a fan of long problems that get dragged out, especially in a school setting, but i did keep reading this webtoon and i am glad that i did! the character development here is amazing and ONE CRUCIAL THING is that the whole first season (which is many, many chapters. at least over 100) focuses on the friendship between our main 4 girls. if you don’t wanna wait for a romance storyline (which comes in season 2), then you’ve gotta have the patience of a saint. i loved this though because lots of romance webtoons cast friendships aside or use them to further the romantic plot. platonic relationships are great to read about and this one does it masterfully! main character nari is resilient and emotionally strong, and it’s great to see her ruin her enemies

3) Cursed Princess Club (currently 110 chapters; on break before the final season)

this is another one about beauty and societal expectations, but in a fantasy setting! it’s really funny and the cast of characters is heartwarming. Gwen is a princess, but she doesn’t look like the typical princess. she accidentally stumbles upon the Cursed Princess Club, which is exactly what it sounds like: a club for princesses that have been cursed and are trying to find their self worth despite not being conventional princesses! now that i think about it, this is like a lighthearted mixture of Makeup Remover and Spirit Fingers. although while i do say “lighthearted”, this webtoon has its fair share of mysteries and exploration of deeper topics. but its funny throughout

4) Brass & Sass (currently 83 chapters)

ahh this one is really cute and the art is cute, too! i also like how this has a diverse cast. high schooler Camilla kinda sucks at band, but dangit if she’s not passionate. Victor is some type of musical prodigy but he’s a brass-hole (hahaha get it. no that’s not original i ripped it from the summary). now i KNOW I KNOW, the whole “perky girl and asshole guy” is so overplayed BUT DON’T FRET! this isn’t the type of story where the girl “fixes” the guy, or where the guy is an asshole to everyone except the girl. believe me, the character development and relationship development in this story is SPLENDID. there’s no real antagonist. it’s just a bunch of high schoolers trying their best to make themselves and everyone else happy, and that’s hard! the story is carried more by the characters than by the plot, but it works well in this case since the characters are strong and each one has a presence. 

5) Surviving Romance (currently 10 chapters)

this one is relatively new compared to my other recs but it’s by the author of the Makeup Remover so yaknow i had to hop on it. BUT IT IS VERY DIFFERENT! first off, it’s a horror, so keep that in mind. the best way i can describe it is a mixture of the standard “girl falls into a story” genre, Groundhog Day, and zombies. Yeah. Bascially, Chaerin is our main girl and she’s in a romance story that’s she’s read a bajillion times, so she knows the day has come for her male lead to confess his love! except he doesn’t! because he becomes a zombie instead! hahaha well that sucks! it’s only got 10 chapters but i am very into it, and it seems to be taking an emphasis on platonic relationships, so i am very closely watching 👁👁

6) The Witch and the Bull (currently 60 chapters) 

another witch story! and the art is GORGEOUS. more witch + nonwitch conflict, too! our main dude, Tan, is the royal advisor and he’s hella bigoted against witches. our main girl, Aro, happens to be a witch. and Tan needs her help to make him into a human again (because he got turned into a bull. that is worth mentioning). this is a very barebones summary and there’s a lot more that goes on, but that’s the general gist of the beginning!

ANYWAYS. this got very long, predictably, and i rambled for each title, predictably. i’ve got more that i’m reading, but i really like these 9! i also made comments on the art for a lot of them, which might not matter to some people, but i feel like my art was very impacted by each webtoon i read. if you’re an artist i recommend finding a webtoon you like and studying the art; try implementing parts you like into your own style! 

anyways, i am FINALLY done talking. bye yall 

[imagines-mha]

League of villains and the type of s/o they need

Characters: Shigaraki, Dabi, Twice, Toga, Spinner, Compress, Kurogiri

➟ Did someone say patient??

➟ Before you guys date, be prepared for a LONG, SLOW, AGONISING wait

➟ He’ll push you away 93817 times before even letting you know his favourite colour smh

➟ You'll have to be thick-skinned. He has a tendency of saying things he doesn’t mean to test your ability to put up with him

➟ It wouldn’t be surprising if he tried his best to turn you off him cus he doesn’t believe he deserves ur love :(

➟ Affection is key, but in small doses

➟ When you’re alone and he’s being vulnerable- don’t treat him like he’s weird. Don’t even point it out, just let it happen and he’ll love you forever cus it takes a LOT for him to put down his guard

➟ Run your fingers through his hair, lace your pinky with his- cliché little reminders of your love. Remember how utterly touch-starved he is- the tiniest touches mean everything

➟ Having a motherly nature would be helpful. He forgets to shower, eat, drink water, function, and he’ll really appreciate your gentle reminders as opposed to kurogiri’s nagging ones

➟ Also- he’s a tantrum child with both mommy and daddy issues. You’re gonna need to be there for him when he gets out of hand

➟ Someone like his mother would be ideal for him: soft, understanding, gentle, caring

➢ Yeah ur gonna have to be able to throw a few punches when the time comes

➢ He’s gonna run ur ass deep into the ground with his hard-hitting comments and straight-up insults. And he’ll probably pick a fight with you just to see how your body moves 🙄

�� He doesn’t rlly mean what he says. He just finds it hot when you get mad

➢ If you’re good at arguing then dam 😳😳 he’s gonna be SHOOK

➢ You gotta like to tease, and like to be teased. He’ll pull your hair while he walks past you, you’ll shove him into the door when he’s not on guard. Simple things, yaknow?

➢ Enemies to lovers; slow burn; 500k

➢ He’s a secret glutton for your touch tho. Has no issue with grabbing your ass in public or dragging you into his room to fuck you whenever he wants. Be spontaneous 🧚🏻‍♀️✨

➢ POSSESSIVE DOE 😳

➢ If he sees you being too friendly with one of the members the league, then good luck bro cus his punishments HURT LIKE A BITCH

➢ Remind him he’s the only one you want- the only one you have eyes for. Then he’ll be satisfied

➟ please give him your heart. All of it.

➟ He’ll nourish it and water it and care for it like he’s never done with anything else before

➟ Boy has got so much love to give and he wants to give it ALL to you

➟ Someone spontaneous would suit him well. He’s excitable, and operates on a lot of last minute decisions. If you’re regulated with schedules and times, he’s not the guy for you

➟ You gotta be versatile. Able to take high ass doses of energy one second and snarky comments the next

➟ Also thick-skinned. If he splits and calls you a bitch, he doesn’t mean it. It hurts but you gotta understand it- plus he’ll make up for it with thousands of apologies afterwards

➟ Someone who can take a LOT of affection and PDA. If he’s in the same room as you, you can bet your ass he’s gonna be HOLLERING about how much he loves you. His hands will NEVER stop touching you when you’re together in public

➟ He’s so soft. Listen to him bro. Like hear his struggles and trace your fingers over his scars and tell him all he means to you

➟ He’s a baby when it comes to comfort man he just wants someone to hold him

➢ Oh my god DUDE you have got to have SO MUCH SKILL

➢ She’s a problem child at best. If you ain’t gonna at least guide her in the direction of right and wrong, you and your family might end up dead

➢ Just a reminder of her love

➢ Sometimes you gotta talk to her like she’s a child to make her understand. Her moral compass was blown to bits years ago- she’s gonna need someone firm

➢ But also someone who can handle her extent

➢ She’s very forward- and she’ll probably try to take your blood more than you’d probably want her to

➢ But once you tame her, she’s a cutie

➢ Talks a lot calmer with you- and seems a hell of a lot more human than before

➢ She’s really good at listening to you, and even better at taking you into her arms and treating you like you’re the most important thing in the entire world

➢ because to her, u are 🥺

➢ When she chills out, falling in love with her is as easy as pie

➟ Someone NON JUDGEMENTAL.

➟ He genuinely doesn't believe he deserves love. Like ik it’s emo but he’s been thru some shit and he thinks he’s gonna die alone

➟ u gonna need to prove him wrong

➟ Any kind of affection makes him red in the face and dizzy. With that in mind, give him all the affection you have

➟ You gotta be clean too cus his room is a MESS and he’s gonna need the reminders and help fixing it up

➟ Same interests would be nice, or at least have an understanding for gaming and why he loves it sm

➟ If you’re a girl who plays grand theft auto tho,,, he’s 😳 simping respectfully

➟ But fr you gotta treat this man like he’s the cutest guy in the world. He’s flustered as fuck, but he has SO much love in him

➟ You gotta have some level of maturity. He has no time for lackadaisy, over-bubbly girls who are never sad

➟ Show him your depth and then he’ll knock down his walls

➢ Can you handle a tease??

➢ God i fuckin hope you can cus this man is RELENTLESS

➢ You gotta have some level of class like let’s not lie

➢ If you’re well-versed in poetry, got that dark academia aesthetic goin on, read a lot- he’ll FALL SO HARD

➢ he just wants that live-mysteriously-in-the-woods-with-my-lady aesthetic

➢ Act surprised and impressed when he graces you with his magic tricks. He’ll want to show you first, since your acceptance is his top priority so u better act like one direction has reunited to give you a personal bedroom concert u hear me x

➢ You gotta be a romantic. Man’s gonna perform the most GRANDIOSE expressions of love

➢ Kissing your knuckles, dipping you into his arms, bridal style carrying you everywhere, cheesy old-fashioned pet names???? Atsuhiro has GOT it

➢ And he loves to hear it all back

➢ He’s a dad, too. And he wants a girl who is motherly. It may sound traditional, but if you know how to cook and clean etc like a housewife, he’ll be swooning

➟ Oh my god you have got to be delicate. And you have to be okay with being babied

➟ He’s a quiet man with a hell of a lot of strength. He does manage the entire league of problematic kids after all

➟ If you’re mature like he is with a romantic side, he’ll be drawn to you so fast like SNAP. U got his whispy heart beating

➟ But also- be a little carefree yakno like he loves to relax as much as the next genetically modified ex-hero-in-training rip shirakumo

➟ Loves the type of girl who’s unafraid to be truly romantic. Slowdance with him in the bar at 3am and he’ll believe his entire life is worth living

➟ Also pls support him when he cracks his dad jokes 😭 ik theyre terrible but he needs the love smh 😔

➟ He’ll ask if you want to go mountain climbing and oh my god SAY YES HE’LL MELT

➟ If you’re good at tending to the league (whether it’s by being a good listener or patching them up after fights) he’ll be more attracted to you. The league are his greatest treasures, and you being friendly with them will only make his love for you grow

[anothertimdrakestan]

Burn (Tim Drake x Reader) angst????

Words: 1.6k

Req: Hello!! May I request Tim x reader angst?? The song “Burn” from Hamilton is stuck in my head so why not put it into context with Tim cheating on reader?? Thanks and bring on the pain..

omg i love this song and im shit at angst but you only get better from trying right??? so lmk how i did i tried lmao hope you enjoy!

You dove into Bart’s chest as the tears began falling. “Just say it’s not true, say I’m wrong. Just say it” you clutched the fabric of his shirt while he stayed silent, his arms rubbing your back. “I- we- we all thought you guys were over I didn’t realize I would’ve said something but he was so secretive” Bart murmured while you let the sobs wrack your body. 

“All the nights he didn’t come home from the tower he was with her?” You began, pushing Bart away while you felt like tearing your hair out. “Every time he left me on read he probably wasn’t even the person I was texting” you continued spitting out the words in such a way that Bart was flinching at your delivery. “And now, when he needs a fucking reason to be out of Gotham he’s on a trip with her? Just leaving me here like it’s nothing? Like everything we had was just a fun little power trip for him?” you were yelling by now. 

“No- I mean yeah, Tim’s an idiot. But maybe it’s not true, maybe you just need to talk to him or something” Bart piped up, your head whipped around. “Yeah? Who am I gonna talk to? Mr. Taking My New Girlfriend On A Getaway Trip? You know he didn’t take me anywhere. Months. I begged for a day together and he was just too busy. He’s not too busy for her though, clearly she’s everything I’m not.” your anger was seeping from you slowly, the realization that every time he told you he was yours he was probably sharing rooms at the tower with her. “god FUCK how long has this been going on? It’s been like a month since he moved in to the tower- dammit! My friends told me this long distance bullshit doesn’t work but ‘oh y/n we’re perfect it’ll be fine! I’ll fly home all the time! We can call every night’ that turned out great didn’t it.” you felt the hot angry tears get replaced with the slow rolling tears that reminded you once again you weren’t good enough to be kept around.

“Do you- maybe- wanna talk to him?” Bart was clearly terrified of you but you appreciated his help. “B, what good is that gonna do? You know Tim as well as- better than me. He’ll give me a shitty excuse that it was ‘for the greater good’ or that I’m ‘just looking at it wrong’ you know he’s better with words than either of us he could run- dammit he has run circles around me like a fucking toy” you had begun scrolling through your phone wondering how many texts got copied and pasted to another text thread with someone he probably cared about more than you.

“So, what are you gonna do then?” Bart had sat next to you on the floor, letting you rest your head on his shoulder while you scrolled through text after text noticing every red flag or lazy text. “Y/n that’s not good to be looking at, you’ve gotta block him or something” Bart whispered, staring at your screen probably reading every message in slow motion. 

“It’s not just the messages I’ll be blocking” you whispered, letting the seething anger slide back in. In what Bart would describe as almost super human speed you began the descent to freedom, blocking, unfollowing, and deleting almost everything that was reminiscent of you and Tim. Then you got to your main instagram account. “Fuck it” you whispered, unfollowing him knowing that tabloids would be starting the smear campaign now. 

It felt like a weight had been lifted off your shoulders at an immeasurable price- the price of heartbreak which you’ll be indebted to for a long time. 

~a week later~

“I have really got to buy myself some damn pajamas” you groaned to yourself, pushing down the little lovesick demon in your head that was telling you it was okay to keep sleeping in Tim’s hoodies and sweats because maybe he’ll apologize and you can take him back and be in love again and- not gonna happen. The celebrity magazines had been lurking near your apartment for days now, waiting to hear the newest gossip and find out what truly happened as you’d been radio silent- only adding to the interest of the paparazzi. As you realized you had to go outside today you prepared yourself for the onslaught of questions. 

“Y/N L/N WHAT’S GOING ON WITH YOU AND MR. DRAKE-WAYNE?” “MISS Y/N WHY THE UNFOLLOW?” “HAVE YOU BEEN SEEING HIS RECENT POSTS? WHO IS THE MYSTERY GIRL?” you cringed at the last question, reminding yourself that his actions didn’t matter as he hadn’t truly been a part of your life for months. 

Before you could get into the black SUV waiting for you, you were stopped and trapped until you spoke into the microphone in front of you. “Anything you can give us on Tim Drake-Wayne and you?” you took a small breath, willing yourself to stay calm. “I’m sorry I simply just don’t know who that is” you smiled between your words, using the confused moment on the questioner’s face to slip into the car and drive off, finally letting you exhale the breath you’d been holding in. 

~two weeks later~

You almost threw up at the sound of a once familiar knock on your door. 

“Y/n, y/n I know you’re here let me in we’ve gotta talk” his voice pleaded from your hallway. After three deep breaths and promises to yourself to stay strong you opened the door. Tim looked normal, it was horrible. You had been fighting to look that normal and were barely holding together but here he was, wearing the shirt he wore the night he told you he loved you with the ever present stern look like nothing had ever gone wrong. He moved to come inside but you blocked his path. “We can talk out here. I don’t have much to say” you hissed, watching him sheepishly back off. “Y/n I just wanted a chance to explain and give my side and-” you cut him off. “Apologize. You’re here to apologize and if you aren’t you’d better leave now” you were screaming and sobbing and melting down internally but you held your composure. 

“Well, yeah, that too. But also we need to issue a public statement because yaknow it’s kinda been going so fast and I think if we could just sit down and work everything out we could stay on better terms because I am so sorry love” you flinched against your own will at the familiar nickname. You took a second to remind yourself that he was again just using his words to get the better of you, you were not going to fall for the same trick twice. “There’s no statement Tim, I’m not clearing your name or coming to your side- hell, I’m going to go work with fucking lexcorp so you won’t even have to worry about seeing me at the office. You and I are separate entities, you broke that relationship when you began the lies and the goddamn cheating, there’s no public statement I’d make that would put you in a better light you’re lucky as hell that this is all I’m saying got it?” you watched him flinch at your words and against all your control you could feel your body begging you to hug him and kiss away the pain like you’d done for months on months. 

“Y/n I want to apologize, I should’ve never- it- it was a lapse in judgement but I want to make it right” Tim pleaded, you watched his facade falter, like he truly felt sorry. “That’s great Tim, I’ll try to remember that when I remember all the nights you said you were stuck at the tower with work when you were with her okay? Sound good? You have a good one okay?” you feigned a smile, shutting the door and crumpling to the ground. 

You let yourself cry silently, burying your head in your hands. Your heart was heavy, it had been learning to beat on it’s own now, not to the beat of Tim’s and it hurt. But it was done? Not really. Not when you’re in the public eye, running a business that would eventually have to work with Wayne Ent. it wouldn’t ever truly be over. Your body was practically turning in on itself, your throat burning as you held in sobs, refusing to let anyone know how deeply this wound would scar. A scar so jagged and deep you feared if would keep your heart permanently broken. 

So how does it end? Because this was supposed to be the closure everyone said you needed. Where you give him a slap in the face for hurting you, telling him to ‘fuck off’ and instantly the pain subsides. But the pain was so intense and raw nothing felt soothing anymore. In a span of weeks you’d lost friends, hell- you’d lost family, and you’d lost love. Because no matter how hard you try to pry the words he said from your brain they creep back in. Nights when he’d call you from the Tower and explain how much he missed you and how perfect you were, days when you got texts about how he missed kissing every inch of your face, memories of the beautiful moments you’d had together that you figured you’d be telling your kids about. Those don’t just die with the relationship. They fester and they boil into your skin, they run through your veins, they flash in your head, reminding you that even when you gave every ounce of love you could muster you still weren’t enough. That’s what will forever stick. So it doesn’t every truly end does it?

Because you can’t burn away scares without leaving a deeper wound. And your wounds were deeper than you could fathom. Your wounds had just simply broken you. 

Tim Drake had broken you. 

So how the fuck do you get fixed?

[marauder-exe]

Paint – Charlie Weasley x Reader

Request: Can I get a Charlie Weasley x reader with 6,7, 15 angst prompts I love angst and your writing and I wanna see what you’ll come up with!!

Prompts: 6.“Wait, he/she has a girlfriend/boyfriend?"

7.“I lo—-” “No, please… Don’t say that. You love her/him, not me.”

15.“You love me like I’m the person who actually deserves your love.” “But you are the only one who deserves it.”

Word count: 800

“Alright, losers?” You smiled as you walked over to your group of friends, seated at the Gryffindor table. You sat down beside Charlie, and gave him a warm smile. His freckled face smiled back and you swore your heart had skipped a beat. That always happened around Charlie though. You had met him on the train, he was the first person that was nice to you. Your family name was quite a popular one, not in a good way. And everyone thought you'd be just like your parents, a Slytherin, but he was the first person to actually believe in you, to actually see past your family and be nice to you. And that made you immediately fall flat on your face for him. He waved his hand in front of your face.

“(Y/N)?” He snapped you from your nostalgic state of remembrance.

“Yeah, sorry” You smiled awkwardly. “Lost in my own head I guess”

“Sickle for your thoughts?” You laughed at his rephrasing of the English idiom. You couldn't tell him the truth.

“Just some stupid Slytherins feeling the need to pick on me again for being a ‘blood-traitor’, just sucks yaknow?” Okay it wasn't necessarily untrue, they did pick on you, but that wasn't the reason. He pulled you into a tight hug, and whispered that it was going to be okay. He was so sweet. You felt your cheeks heat up, and decided to leave before you gave away your gigantic crush.

“Right, see ya later boys, I gotta go study” You got up from the table as your friends laughed to themselves.

“Yeah, studying, definitely not with your new boyfriendddddddddddd” He dragged out his words.

“Fuck off Justin” And you swiftly walked away muttering your goodbyes.

“Wait, they have a boyfriend?” Since when? You told Charlie everything and he’d heard nothing of a boyfriend. His heart ached honestly.

“Yeah, I mean have you seen her?” He had seen you. That first day on the train he had seen you. And you where beautiful.

“I gotta go” He said abruptly, leaving as quick as possible. He wanted to catch you and question you about this boyfriend. His pace quickened around the corner, to where he saw you, and some Slytherin following you. He presumed this was the supposed boyfriend so he slowed, until the Slytherin pulled out his wand and aimed it above you, your back still turned, blissfully unaware. The Slytherin raised his wand above your head,  muttering a spell, and all sorts of metal things appeared above your head. He had guessed he was going to try and drop them on you. And no way in hell was he about to let that happen.

“(Y/N)!” He shouted, running over to where you where.

“Charlie?” You asked, totally unaware. And in a matter of seconds, Charlie had tackled you to the ground, and you had heard a clatter of metal from where you had previously stood. You sat up, Charlie's arms still around your waist, trying to collect yourself. And you saw a 6th year Slytherin dashing out of the corridor. You turned to Charlie who was red with embarrassment.

“Dude, You just potentially saved my life!” He just gave a shy smile, and blushed. You stared at his freckled face, he was incredibly handsome. Its now or never.

“I lo--” You began but where swiftly cut off.

“No, please… Don’t say that. You love him, not me.” He sounded sad. Did he honestly believe those ass holes when they said you had a boyfriend?

“Charlie?” He stared at you longingly, this is all he wanted for so many years, and he just shot you down.

“I don't have a boyfriend” His jaw went slack.

“Since when?” He gawked. “The guys they--”

“Like to make up rumours. I love you and only you” You placed a hand on his cheek.

“You love me like I’m the person who actually deserves your love.” He laughed sadly. “hell I practically just shot you down”

“But you are the only one who deserves it.” A sad smile made its way onto your face.

“As long as you want me, im here” His hand found its way to your cheek and pulled you in for a kiss.

[amazingorangedangantrash]

The only ending everyone seems to ignore is v3 because it’s just... it’s just a mess.

How do feel about this game survivors? And do you think that everyone woke up from the simulator or tv show like sdr2 or only the survivors?

Hoo boy...

Honestly nonny, having only finished the dang thing yesterday I... don't know.

(I kinda went off into a spiel, so feel free to skip to the part where I talk about survivors and what I think happens next)

I understand the mixed response a LOT. I mean- I see what they were going for. The 4th wall break was cool, and the (sorta?) reappearance of past characters was pretty damn awesome. I like that the creators are definitely self aware- and there's a kind of 'learn to laugh at yourself' sort of thing.

On the other hand it can almost seem a little too mocking?

I get the whole yaknow. 'Fictional characters are aware they're fictional and rebel against their creators' thing but- like-?

As I mentioned before, thing is, Tsumugi is not us? We aren't exactly intentionally cruel? There's a BIG difference between the kind of fiction in our world and in their world.

What does Tsumugi call it? "Real fiction"?. Yeah- thing is- we don't have that. We don't have the technology for it, and I certainly hope we wouldn't abandon ethics for it either!!! We can't have 'real' fiction, because in our world, all fiction is fake! The closest you have is fiction about real people, perhaps, but- that's not even remotely the same thing?

So it does come across as a little... um- preachy.

We're supposed to represent the audience but... like- the audience fucking suck! What was that they said during the argument armament? "This guy should have died instead of Kaede!" Like- fucking hell. Imagine saying that to someone, who can HEAR you say it, and who's MURDER you could potentially watch unfold before your very eyes as a result of YOUR actions. I mean- look how empathetic some of us are to ACTUAL fictional characters. Could you imagine if we were in a similar situation to the outside world in V3???

Maybe it's because I keep imagining the v3 cast as like- sentient AI, instead of "just fiction". Because I can't imagine anyone being so sadistic or apathetic otherwise.

So uh- yeah. I don't... know how I feel about that. It's not- very satisfying?

With sdr2, the whole "none of this is real, the killing game is all a lie, you're in a fake world!" felt like a relief ! Whereas here it's more like- "what?? It's all fake? What the hell was the point then?!"

"Nothing matters!" vs "nothing matters..."

The whole HOPE VS DESPAIR, FUTURE VS PAST thing worked, because, well, it's something we can all understand. We have all felt hope and we have all felt despair. We've all, at some point in our lives, felt stuck in the past, unable to or scared to move on.

(Hey- some of us still feel like that now, even).

The first game was very simple- hope and despair. Still relatable, but fairly basic- effective to set up the foundation for the follow up.

The second game made things a little more complicated. Sometimes it's more complicated then just- choosing between Hope and Despair. We refuse to fall into Despair, but we can't just blindly have Hope.

So we choose the Future. We can't promise it'll be a good one OR a bad one. But whatever happens- we need to move on. The only way we can make things change is by making that choice, to create our OWN future.

V3 felt very... complex. It started to get kind of... uh... philosophical? And- don't get me wrong, I don't have a problem with that. It just... it kind of shifted from TRUTH VS LIE to FICTION VS REALITY. And whilst the latter definitely sounds interesting- I don't really know if I liked the direction they took with it-? I wish they'd kept the focus on TRUTH VS LIE a lot more.

(Fiction and Reality are like extensions of Lie and Truth but- only to a certain extent? Really?)

It's kind of harder to get into the final fight in V3 because... what are you fighting? The outside world? I mean- I can't speak for the rest of you, but as far as I'm aware I'm not a fictional character.

(If I am- then wow someone's a reallly bad writer huh?)

I can relate to Hope. I can relate to Future.

I can't relate to Fiction.

I THOUGHT maybe the message was a warning of the dangers of escapism ('please dont go as far as to erase your own personality just to be a part of a type of fiction you like' definitely seems fitting for this fandom)- but the message "fiction has the power to change the world!" kinda contradicts that. I mean- I do like that message, but- I don't like the idea of a series about killing games being heavily influential-!

The whole problem was that people grew so obsessed with the series that they threw away their lives! Is that not the point you should be focusing on-!!!!

The outside world in this universe fucking sucks. So they changed their mind, big DEAL! that's not comforting knowing they let this shit continue for 53 seasons-! I mean, maybe Makoto and Hajime were all 100% fictional, but at some point they started putting real people into these games, and everyone was ok with that!

I just-

I'm glad Shuichi got through to them at last but...

Someone said something which resonated with me- "in a vacuum, this is good". Like... on it's own, I thought the ending was great! It was entertaining, for sure. And the whole concept and stuff was unexpected and interesting. You gotta give em points for originality.

The problem comes with it being the 3rd game in a series. (Ignoring UDG I mean-). When a series becomes a Trilogy, you gotta make it good. This is presumably the last game in the (main) series too. And- after the UTTER NARRATIVE DISAPPOINTMENT of dr3- can you blame people for wanting more? People fell in love for THH and SDR2 (and UDG even if its not part of the main series) for a reason- and, for me at least, a biiiig part of that reason was the continued storyline. The last chapter of sdr2 was the hypest shit EVER. when you see glimpses of the previous game bleed into this one, only for it to turn into what's like- a full crossover???? The previous game isn't just mentioned, it's a straight up sequel!!!! I had absolutely no idea Makoto and co would return (i thought the games were separate) so when i saw that they'd be interacting with the new cast- yoooooooooooooooo-!

Hell, even seeing alter ego again made me go WILD.

V3 plays upon these expectations, and subverts them, but... not necessarily in a good way? You- kind of feel cheated? (Idk if you're an avengers fan, but- it's like expecting *Endgame* and instead getting...

Well- Endgame).

The ending isn't bad persay it's just- not quite what one would expect? I can definitely understand why people are disappointed. The problem is, instead of standing alone, you can't help but consider it as part of the series. Individually, I don't think the ending was that weak or bad, but in comparison to the series as a whole?

Meh.

SURVIVORS

(Oh my- I really got off track, oh dear. I'll- get back to what you asked now.)

KEEBO

W H Y

They rllly gonna rub salt in the wound huh?

(Whilst i dont dislike the other survivors, there are a LOT of people i really really wanted to see make it to the end, and it's just the final god damn nail in the coffin to kill off the last of the few characters I came even close to liking the most-)

Killing keebo was dumb

Maki- I liked Maki quite a bit! She's a bit cold, yeah, but I warmed up to her after hearing her backstory.

I found it annoying (if understandable) that no one trusted her at first. I thought it was sweet that her, Kaito and Shuichi had this friendship trio. They really trusted each other- it was very refreshing. I also love me a strong girl. Her romance thing with Kaito was a little... forced. I'd have found it more meaningful if they kept it more subtle/ambiguous (though i suppose they needed smth to use against her in the final trial sooo-).

Himiko-

I-

*sigh*

Ok I'm going to say this once, and once only.

Someoneonthedrteamhasabigthingforlolis

OK! I SAID IT- AND IM NEVER SAYING IT AGAIN

No judgement here of course. Just. Uh. Y-yeah-

(I'm mainly kidding of course, idek if Himiko counts as a loli but-)

I mean... I'm not... the fondest of very small, childish girl characters (Saionji intensifies). I like a bit of childishness in a character but- i mean- it depends.

(I'll never recover from the "seductive whisper" thing from the love suite event

Never.

Never ever.)

Himiko comes across as like An Actual Child at times and at the start it was VERY annoying. Surprisingly, I warmed up to her eventually. I knew in advance she'd be a survivor so i kinda thought "well she's gonna stick around so might as well try to like her". I do appreciate that she underwent a character arc too, and it was sweet to see how she became a more active, determined person. I wish it hadn't taken Tenko's death for her to finally start changing but whatever. She is quite a cute character and after a while became more endearing then annoying.... (for the most part).

Was she in my top 3 picks for a survivor? No.

The top 10 even?

N-no-

I'm glad she's still alive though. SOMEONE damn well needs to be.

Tsumugi- ah. She's not a survivor, is she? I knew well in advance she was the mastermind so I didn't really warm up to her all that much during the final chapters, for obvious reasons.

Shuichi- if shuichi hadn't survived I think that would have been the breaking point for me, honestly.

Overall- uh... they aren't... the ideal picks. Shuichi is the only one I really wanted to see survive, I was neutral towards the others. Tbh I was just happy anyone was alive by the end of that.

Waking up- for the sake of my sanity, I like to think that after the survivors wake up, they threaten to sue and/or maim the shit out of the dr team if they don't start on reanimating their 'dead' friends right fucking now. Surely they gotta keep their consciousness' somewhere in those memories banks right? I mean- what if they ever wanted a "surprise return from the dead" plotline? Surely they gotta keep em somewhere? Right?

Whether or not they reawaken as their in-game or pre-game selves, who knows. Whichever you prefer, I guess. Maybe a mixture of both.

[ocean-butch]

i really don’t mean this in a rude way i’m just wondering if it’s hard to be in love w someone who doesn’t reciprocate it and how r u so optimistic bc i’m so in love w my ex and miss her friendship more than anything but i feel like i would die trying to be just friends w her yaknow so how do u deal w that

hey no worries! i only get offended when people act like i have no self awareness and try to imply that they (literal strangers) know more about me and my feelings than i do. as if i havent thought about this a thousand fucking times!!!! as if me saying “actually this makes me happy” means nothing and i just dont know any better??? but anyways when its not like that, i actually love love love talking about her so ur good dont worry! in fact, asks like yours are 100% encouraged!!

anyways, i know that being in love with people that dont love you back - especially exes - can be very hard and hurtful, and i have kinda sorta been there before, but with her specifically its just… not. she makes me happy and makes me feel safe and comforted and loved. she always has. sure, it might not be romantic love that she feels for me now idk, but there is no doubt in my mind that she cares about me. i dont think there has ever been, actually. and thats what matters. thats more than i can say for like 90% of the people in my life. and even before we started dating, when i still thought that she only saw me as a friend and that my love was unrequited, i still felt this way. and then we dated and we broke up and i still felt this way and so i waited. and then we dated again and we broke up again and for a while i tried to move on because it felt final and it hurt and because i knew she would too, but i still felt this way. and then i texted her and we became friends again and i still feel this way. the point is, never once have i ever felt like loving her hurts me more than it heals me. actually it barely ever hurts at all and when it does is just like,, me being sad cuz i wanna hold her n kiss her or bc i wish she was with me somewhere or just gay longing like that. but anyways i am extremely aware that, if i ever do feel like loving her hurts me, like its bad for me, i will make myself move on because i dont ever want the love i feel for her to be anything negative in my life. what we have is too special, too good for that. i refuse to allow it, even if it means having to let go one day. but, i just Really dont think that’s gonna happen so anyways what im TRYING to get to is: if loving your ex hurts you, if the thought of being just friends with her hurts you - dont do it. dont put yourself through that. ever. you deserve better than that pain. you might miss her and her friendship but i promise you that if it makes you feel bad, then its not worth it. then its not how its supposed to go. then you’re supposed to learn from it and move on. and that means that one day, it wont hurt anymore. and (not that anyone needs a relationship to be happy but if you want to) one day you’ll find someone and it wont hurt like this. like, sure you’ll probably still sometimes hurt each other with little misunderstandings and miscommunications but it wont be the sort of pain you feel from loving someone who doesnt make you feel loved in return.

now, you asked “how are you so optimistic” and the thing is— i dont know. i never tried to be, it just. Happened. it was just Always There with her. when we broke up for the first time we had really only dated for like. A Week but we had known each other for a few months and i got a crush on her on the first week of our friendship so by then i already loved her and when we broke up that time i never even tried to move on. i knew i was meant to love her. i still remember that one of my first thoughts when trying to deal with our break up was “the universe brought my soulmate a little earlier than it was supposed to bc it knew i needed it at the moment, but this little time was enough for me to remember to hold on to myself so it took her away and it’ll bring her back to me when the time is right”. ever since i fell in love with her, i have always believed that she is one of my soulmates, and the love of my life. it varied a little; right after we broke up for the 2nd time the thought that it meant that she wasn’t actually the love of my life was haunting me so then i sorta realized or maybe i just decided that even if we both moved on and fell in love with other people, she would always have been the love of my life for this 16/17yo version of me. and then at one point i tried to think of her as a platonic soulmate, for the little time i spent actually trying to move on. then i gave up and decided that maybe shes my romantic soulmate even if im her platonic one. and the truth is like idk, idk any of it for sure, idk what’s gonna happen in either of our lives and how much everything is gonna change for each of us but i also dont really care at all as long as i get to have her in my life, as long as i get to have her say things like “you’re easily the person i feel most comfortable talking to” and “its never draining” and “you know me so well” and “you’re my no 1 fan” and “i forgot to wish anything i was distracted texting you” and “when something happens you’re still the first person i wanna tell”. the point is that what we have is way, way too special for me to get sad thinking about whether or not the love she feels for me is romantic. i swear i never knew this kind of connection was possible before i met her. i still dont know what the fuck happens with us because it just feels otherworldly. it feels magical, like we’re not really meant to understand it. all i know is things never feel awkward with us and we just sorta fit and i never feel self conscious about the things we say and i never really have to wonder if she cares or not. all i feel with her is comfort and peace and theres really no other way to put it than to say that she feels like home. i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again: not even the universe itself can convince me that we’re not meant to be, one way or another. yes, i hoped the way was romantically and i still do but i also know that im the happiest i’ve ever been whenever she texts me so like does it even really matter? i dont think so.

anyways im aware i got completely carried away and ended up a thousand miles away from what this ask was supposed to be about but also: i!! love!! talking!! about!! her!!!!!!!!!!!! u cant blame me okay im just too in love and i cant actually say any of this directly to her so whenever i actually get a chance to talk about it i gotta Let It All Out yknow? anyways thank you for asking and i hope things work out for you! feel free to text me if u wanna vent or want adivce or just whatver idk im trying not to fall asleep cuz if i do im not gonna wake up early enough to go to the beach tomorrow so i need Distractions (i spent over an hour on this ask so double good)

[coup-de-maine]

I was giving out smut advice and I thought it sounded pretty good so Ima share with yall:

How to RP smut, by me, a seasoned sex writer and connoisseur of dirty dirt.

Okay, so the thing with smut is... the more you do it the more comfortable its gunna get (obviously. Just like with real sex) 

If you’re nervous, I would find someone you like/trust and write with them privately, build your confidence a little. Also find someone who will top in a thread for you (not... necessarily top your character, but willing to take the lead and... put up with inexperience???) 

I've written with a lot of first time smutters so I know... how to... handle it when someone doesn't know wtf to do lol- and I'm happy to give feed back!! But yeah, i've... had people.... who.... I will write 5 paragraphs for and they clap back with:

"She moans, and arches her back and says "yes more" and moans" 

and I'm like. Sweet. She's moaning I guess- 

Which is only really frustrating if I... Don't know that's what you're like. I am so fine with that, but I'm gunna match that effort- if thats the effort you put in then you're gunna get "Thrusts and grunts" replies back cause I'm not wasting hours of thought into something your gunna skim and one finger type me a reply back to. So effort, is a big part of it. Smut can be the equivalent of sexting or it can be a novella and beautiful. We strive for the novella but the other one works and is... fine, too.

Obviously if you're looking to learn then hell yeah, I'm gunna go all out, show you the neat ways you can euphemise sex and if all you can think to say back is "Moans" thats fINE I'm ready to drabble it up in here and god mod a little so you can... observe, but also get some practice in, if that makes sense? Find someone willing to do that, reading and doing is half the battle with learning to write so someone has to be willing to be patient with you and write a majority for you so you can get an idea of what works and sounds good.

But yes, reading other peoples stuff is a great way to start, what sounds comfortable? what was awkward as hell? Can you word it better? 

Thats the thing too- you can't just read, you gotta mentally (or literally) take notes, this is highschool english class, break the sentence structure apart and like... play with it, fondle it, ask urself why it sounds good why it makes u hoRNY

If someone writes a really good cum ask urself why that cum sounded so good-

Was it explicit??? 

did they describe it dribbling down their who-ha? 

or was it the emotion? 

the quivering- succulent way their mind melted during that orgasm that made you know it dribbled-

Smut can be any way you want it. Some people go super detailed (please dont go too detailed- I had a guy describe the degree of testicle sag he had goin, don’t count me out individual pubic hairs) explaining the physical aspects, the hardness of cocks, the sweatiness of palms- the juiciness of peaches!!!! 

Other times its totally psychological (sex is a fascinating blend of body and mind!!!!!!) people describe how it felt, the thoughts they had like- idk maybe riding a dude bareback literally reminds them of a time they rode a horse totally naked and it was super freeing and transcendent and amazing! Just like this sex- hell yeah

Some people find a happy medium and that is what I strive for (Though I love getting psychological whenever I can----)

So yes, find your niche, dont be afraid to experiment- honestly just like what you like, write what you like and figure out a way to make it not sound terrible (its not as hard as you think, everything sounds terrible until you say it in your head a few times) 

Some people can NOT stand it if you use "Cock" and "Pussy" its gotta be "his hot throbby rod" and "her moist towelette-" or wtfever- but curses really aren't that bad and I'd rather say cock and get it over with then... whatever the fuck that was (though "heat" "desire" "arousal" are all GREAT stand in's if you aSK ME)

I used to REFUSE to write moaning out- like "Oh- ah yes harder!!" It made me cringe. Until I rped with someone who did it and as I was reading it I was like OH SHIT THATS SUPER HOT?? so yaknow, surprise yourself, be brave (honestly most of this advice applies to real life sex)

Honestly the only difference between RL sex and the sex of movies and pornos and whatever else you've been exposed to- real sex is a bit awkward. Positions get tiring, uncomfortable, hard to hold- even for a big muscular guy Fucking someone upright is TAXING 

Its awkward, its hard, you fall out all the fucking time unless the person is right up against you, so forget throwing them into the air and catching them on ur dick- in fact dicks fall out all the time and like- at the worst times (cause as soon as someone says "Im cumming" EVERYBODY gets reckless)

Legs cramp up, someone says some REALLY dumb dirty talk- and this is why comfortability is important cause like... 

Call them out omg please call out your partners. If what they did or said sounds ridiculous, fumble, laugh, give them a dirty look- cause its fun, its sexy, and its fun. Just- try not to be mean about it. 

I love getting teased for awkward sex cause its hilarious and its wholesome and it makes everyone more comfortable

And the easiest- EASIEST way to do the smut, is talk about kinks. Find out what you both like, or wanna write, cause that gives it a direction, a purpose beyond humpin. If you know you're gunna choke them out think about how, why, where, when- Discussing things until you’re both at the edges of your seats thinking- HOLY FUCK I NEED THAT IN MY LIFE

its so good

get excited and it will be so good

make sure to establish that treasured repertoire I talk about all the time and it will be so good 

[goy-bullshit-translator]

I'm not the anon who asked about Purim but what is the Purim story?

ALRIGHTY *cracks knuckles* I got off mobile and on desktop for this so you know it’s serious.

Purim Story: They tried to kill us, we survived, let’s eat. 

The year is 367 BCE. The town is Shushan, Persia. The scene zooms in on a large castle in the middle, big, decadent, just the right amount of finery and prestige for a king who’s a complete asshole. The king Ahashverous is sitting on his throne, lording over his subjects in the way only a completely pompous and detached king can. His wife Vashti is off in her rooms, chilling, doing something, enjoying her queenly life. King Ahashverous decides he’s in the mood to party, so calls up all his dudebro friends, they’re chilling, dancing, drinking, having a great time, when King A gets this great idea to call his wife Vashti down for a little entertainment, a little dancing for his guests. Wearing only her crown. So, for reasons obvious to all but the most entitled frat boy (Ahashverous), Vashti declines and refuses to do as he asked. He gets super pissed by this and demands her killed, which is promptly followed out. Vashti is out of the picture and villianized in children’s purim skits for eons to come. 

So the King is sitting there, having just disposed of his unruly wife, when he realizes he needs a new queen. Well shit, how’s he gonna get one on such short notice? He calls up his right hand man, his advisor Haman (BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO), and tells him to go fetch all the women of Shushan, as he will hold a beauty contest and whoever wins will have the blessing of being the King’s wife. 

Enter Esther, a young Jewish girl, orphaned at a young age and who has grown up with her uncle Mordechai (THE JEWISH GUY), who works in the Palace. She’s young, sweet, innocent and pretty, so of course she’s a prime subject for the King’s beauty contest. She shows up, struts her stuff, and lo and behold, the king has a new wife! They get married, and she’s trapped in a world of pompous royalty and anti-semitism. Oh yeah, no one knows she’s Jewish. 

Meanwhile, Mordechai, on his daily trip to the palace, overhears two guards, gossiping about how they’re gonna murder the king, just gonna kill him brutally and painfully and all that good stuff. So, let’s be real, the king probably deserves this, but that’s besides the point. Mordechai is shocked and appalled, and rushes immediately to notify the court of this impending murder plot, the guards are taken and executed, and life goes back to normal. 

Mordechai continues his walk around his Shushan town, when he happens to cross paths with Haman (BOOOOOOOOOO). Haman, being the asshole he is, insists that everyone who he walks past must bow to him. Mordechai, being the Jew that he is, refuses. Now Haman fucking hates this. If Mordechai won’t bow to him, then all the Jews won’t bow to him, so he must not be the most important person in the world and that’s simply not permissible. So he sidles up to his personal pal the king and is like “hey. hey bud. hey my dude my pal there are people who don’t respect my authority or yours. They won’t bow to me what kind of filthy rats.” and the king’s all “holy shit there are people who wont bow to you we gotta do something!!” and H*man smiles and goes “yeah dude i got the perfect solution. Let’s just kill them. Kill them all. There’s no way that could go wrong.” And the king, (who’s probably still drunk), is like “Yeah dude sounds cool!!”, and willingly signs off on the order to murder all the Jews. Now, H*man is a little bastard who doesn’t give a shit about what he’s doing, so in order to decide when he’ll commit this mass murder, he rolls some dice, called Purim, to choose a date. (Hopefully you see the obvious connection to the holiday). The dice land on the 14th of Adar, the decree is made and sent out into the city, and the Jews of Shushan collectively go “oh fuck we’re gonna die.”

Back to our good pal Mordechai, who’s walking around Shushan again (he seems to go on a lot of walks), when he notices one of the posters declaring the murders of the Jews, and is like SHIT SHIT SHIT WAIT my niece lives in the palace. She’s the gotdamn queen. She’s gotta have some sort of power, right? So he runs over to visit Esther, and is like Esther sweetie babe please go talk to your husband please make him reconsider mass murder maybe? Thanks? and Esther’s all “what the fuck i haven’t seen my husband since the wedding if i enter his quarters without an invitation i’ll be fucking murdered” and mordechai, who’s had enough of his niece’s wishy washy shit, goes “YOU”RE GONNA GET FUCKING MURDERED ANYWAY IN CASE YOU FORGOT YOU ARE ALSO A JEW” and Esther’s like “okay yeah i’ll see what I can do.”

Zoom in on the king, who’s trying to go to sleep in his big kingly beds, and just can’t fall asleep. So instead of suffering through insomnia like the rest of us plebians, he calls for someone to read to him from the royal records, cause they’re so fucking boring they’ll have to put him to sleep. So one of his servants is doing so, and he stumbles upon the time when Mordechai saved his life. He realizes that Mordechai never actually got an award for all that snazzy shit, so calls in his boy Ham*n. “Hey. Haman. My dude my bro my man. If there was someone I really liked, who did a huge huge favor for me, like, yaknow, really helped me out, how should I reward him?” Haman, the stuck up brat that he is, of course things Ahashverous is talking about him, and so says “well…. i would dress him in the king’s finest robes and put him on the king’s finest horse and have someone parade him around the streets of Shushan yelling “THIS IS A MAN THE KING WISHES TO HONOR LOOK HOW GLORIOUS HE IS” and Ahashverous is all “dude you’re brilliant. Okay tomorrow afternoon, get that Mordechai dude and have this done to him. You’ll be leading the horse and yelling.” Haman realizes he fucked up. Haman reaaaaaaaaaaaaally hates Mordechai now. He hates him so much in fact, that he builds a set of gallows specifically for murdering Mordechai alone. 

Esther, meanwhile, is trying to build up courage to go see the King and explain the whole “I’m Jewish please don’t kill my people” issue. First, she fasts for three days to be ready, and asks all the Jews of Shushan to fast with her. Once those three days are up, she figures she can’t just waltz right in to his quarters and say “don’t kill me”, so instead she dresses up all fancy, and waltzes into his quarters with some fancy (skimpy) clothing on and an invitation to a party. The king is thrilled to be invited to a party, and manages to overcome his instinct for murdering his wives to accept the invitation. At the party, they’re chilling, they’re laughing, they’re having an all around wonderful time. when Esther goes to make an announcement. “Hem hem hem” she coughs. “I brought you here today for something very important.” Everyone is paying attention. “I’m having another party tomorrow night and you’re all invited!!!! And so is that Haman dude. Make sure he’s there. Really.” Well of course our frat boy king is delighted and agrees that he and Haman will absolutely 100% be there. 

Cut to the next night, where they’re at the party and Esther goes to make an announcement. “hem hem hem.” she says. The king gets ready for another party announcement. He loves parties “Someone” says Esther. “Someone, in this very room, is trying…. TO KILL ME!” Shock! Terror! Awe! Emotions! The party guests are very confused, until Esther gives the full explanation. “I’m a Jew… Haman’s a dick… etc.” So of course the King is so distraught, because he can’t have his lovely wife that he loves so very much (that he thinks looks hella hot) be murdered! But he’s also in a bind. Cause here’s the thing about kingly orders, like the one about killing the Jews. They can’t be undone or retracted. Looks like the Jews are still screwed. That is, until Mordechai gets this great idea. More murder. “Look.” he says. “People have been given legal permission to kill us. I propose you simply do the same. Write out a little kingly decree, saying that the Jews have the legal right to kill anyone who attacks them, and can fight for their lives. Then, it’ll just be a battle of the strongest and of course the Jews will escape just fine. We’re good at surviving.” The king, who’s really just a pawn at this point, is all “well that’s a MARVELOUS idea! Let me write up this order immediately, I’ll get right to it!” This second kingly order gets written, the decree goes out, and the 14th of Adar rolls around.

There’s mass murder. Everyone is fighting or killing or dying. Mostly goyim are dying though. The Jews successfully manage to protect themselves, keeping their culture alive, turning what was supposed to be a day of mourning into a day of wildly happy celebration, the Purim festival we know now. They also found and seized Haman, hanging him upon the gallows he built for Mordechai. And to this day, we eat hamentaschen to mock this fool’s hat/ears/pockets. Whatever we’re mocking, Haman was a dick who looked ridiculous. And we’re still here bitch, so ha. You lost. 

[cheskalagran]

BYE 2018

This year has got to be the year jampacked with EVERYTHING. I might have the same motivation to write now but i gotta try for my future self. (bcos yaknow everything that I dont write eventually gets forgotten and i have no way of remembering, it just turns into a blank patch in my mind lyk 2017 lol) whatever happend to 2017??? i was scrolling through this blog and i didnt find any 2017 posts lol what??? was i in a trans or??? idk i have no memory of new year 2017. well i dont want that to happen to 2018 because theres just so much that happened so here it goes.

JANUARY- I started the year in qc.

Jan 2- I saw Mamsh for the first time in uptc. We bought my very first film roll. n Agfa Vista 200 in Satchmi.

Jan 7- i put my first film roll in. took a few shots. oh and im back in marinduque

Jan14 to the end of the month- im just in duque doing normal stuff i guess idk. More MSC days. I was really stressed about being irreg. lol

FEBRUARY-

feb 2 i went to Manila for the opening of Arts Month. IT WAS SO GREAT I NEVER FELT SO ALIVE IT WAS WHAT I ALWAYS WANTED, to live each waking day to be exposed to art. agh fun tyms. i spent 5 days in Bayview and everyday i went to luneta park for workshops and other shennanigans. While this was all happening i was also shooting for our Trends and Network (?) (subject) video. Reg was my partner in this video we were supposed to put a vissual on a poem our prof gave us.

feb 3

first time to eat yellow watermelon.

went to a baybayin writing workshop and learned how to write baybayin yay

saw autotelic, better days, sud and ben and ben that night

FEB 4- still there

feb 5- attended poetry night and saw mike coroza. saw mamsh again today and we went to national museum. It was the last day of arts month.

feb 6- i went home to duque

Feb 7- i edited my footage

~idk what date but hahaha the video i edited got 75 loooool but our prof gave us another chance to edit the shit.

feb 14- mundo- iv of spades was released. idk how this is relevant to me lol but yeah it was released on this day.

feb 17- UP fair that i wasnt able to go to. Finals week is near im so stressedt

feb 20- im editing the video again. we made a storyline instead of just putting vissuals on the poem.

feb 21- the stress was getting to me. i havent been sleeping bcos of finals and editing so i cut my hair short. the shortest it has been, they said i looked like hannah baker

~idk what date but i finally passed the video and we got 85 thank god for that curve lol~

feb 24- Im back in Manila. first time to ever play with the orchestra in a place which is not marinduque. Played in Makati along with Sta Isabel peeps.

feb 26-

Went to bgc--- to the overrated Venice grand canal place to be exact.

Saw Alex Aiono live.

Bought a new Murakami book (Wind Up Bird Chronicle) that i havent still finished until now

feb 27 to march- marinduque ++ more MSC things

March 29

practiced a viola piece for auditions sa ust but hey its 2019 and i didnt end up auditioning

Moriones festival (holy week)

Watched Baconaua a film by Joseph Laban shot in Mdq. the plot was also mdq related!!! and also socially relevant at present. its kinda about drugs--- well it is about drugs.

april 7- went to ust for enrolment

apr 8- went home na ata i dont even know

apr 13 ICON MANILA DAY1

went to manila for yfc’s 25th anniv!!!!! AAAA ICON 2018~ FULL BLAST

bRO THE THEME WAS MUSICALS AND THEY PERFORMED DISNEY AND THE GREATEST SHOWMAN THEMED THINGS HUHU MY HART IS HAPI

yfc reunion yey

APR 14 DAY 2 - FIREWORKSSS AND TALKS

APR 15- DAY 3

LAST DAY

GOT AN ICON DAVAO SHIRT

NASA ICON RECAP VIDEO AKO

APR 16 ARRIVED IN MDQ FOR FINALS

APR 19- SURVIVED FIRST DEFENSE

APR 23- FINAL DEFENSE

APR 26- SHELLY’S DEBUT

APR 30- FOUND OUT I DIDNT PASS THE UPCAT YO

MAY 3-

GRAD PHOTOSHOOT

SAGALA

MAY 8- 18TH

MAY 10- SURPRISE BDAY CELEB BY THE BEACH T^T gots a new laptop yey. got another murakami book from fiel. got a cool shirt from dem. got my fav necklace (which means so much to me since it has so much connection to who i am--- its a Sta. Claire/ St. Francis pendant from Rome.) Lola passed down a family heirloom to me--- her watch. <3

MAY 11- woke up after last night’s celeb for Graduatioooon.

May 11 to 19- stayed at home and watched movies and shi

May 20-

watched Musika sa Isla’s concert. first time that i sat out since i was so busy huhu.

Went out with Reg and went kayaking

May 21 and onwards more of doing nothing and watching movies and shii

May 29- went out with sum frends i havent seen for so loooong: isa, franz, angge, ira

Jun 2- went out with the fam and tita pina to the beaaachhh

Jun 15- My first provincial Shout!!! YBB LAGUNA!!!

Jun 18- went to shannon falls!!!! hiked and swam with the fam ++ dream favor fam

Jun 19- end of Prov Shout huhu went to amoingon with the YBB laguna team. swam some more in the beach.cried A LOT. said goodbye to fwends huhu

Jun 20- left duque for good

Jun 22- went to ust to settle thingz, dorm hopping

Jun 23- went to ust again

Jun -Jul scrabble, movies, wine, milktea, mc do and a couple of city thingz. Prepared for YCOM acad. long distance organizing with yasu huhu.

Jul 25- went home to duque for YCOM Acad!!! My first and last event as a the provincial YCOM head. cant believe we actually got to put this together huhu sml

Jul 26-28- finally had face to face organizing with the pcg. practiced songs and hosting.

Jul 29- YCOM ACAD NAAA. a lot of hard work paid off in this event. a lot if crying again. said goodbye to friends again.

Jul 30- left for Manila first thing in the morning

Aug 1- First day dorm life

Aug 2- Start of freshmen week. Freshmen pol sci orientation

Aug 3- ROARientation

Aug 4- got very drunk with batch mates uuuhhh which was wrong cos its just the first day and i probably made out with someone???uhhh

Aug 6- Tomasino na ako event. Saw Ben and ben and fourplay mnl

Aug 10-

went to cinemalaya with reg,kly and paul. was supposed to watch liway but ended up watching school service. bumabagyo rn hahahaha.

first time to ride the lrt loool

Aug 11-13- spent 3 days alone in qc aHAHAHA they were in cebu

~Lol kinda  dated a blockmate or whateva at this time uuhh~

Aug 17- parents visited manila, we went to intramuros

Aug 20- kuyas bday

Aug 21-saw reg and we watched another cinemalaya entry: Madilim Ang Gabi. sobrang slow paceeeedddd but ya it was about ejk. #SupportLocal

Aug 22 and onwards- A LOT OF READINGS

Aug 28- bar hopping with 7wonders

MORE STUDYING

Sep 5- saw Sud again in ust. org week ata??

MORE STUDYING

~kinda stopped dating that blockmate na~ ahahah

MORE STUDYING

Sep 21- saw shelly, aira, and fiel at Happy T. met someone but never talked again after that nyt. slept at fiel’s

MORE STUDYING

Sep 28- YFC GA

Sep 29- WENT TO SHE’S ONLY SIXTEEN’S 10TH ANNIVERSARY WITH MAMSH BROOOOOOO (XX: XX Makati)

ang bandang shirley

lions and acrobats

mellow fellow

rusty machine

oh flamingo

sandwich???

i forgot the others huhu

IT WAS WILD I LOVE SENA

OCT 4-5- PRELIMS ((no sleeping starts))

Oct 10-pre lims. got rly unexpected close friendships. slept at dean’s.

Oct 20- Island with shelly, ira, dean and sum binilde friends. met sum ppl. slept at mark’s

MORE STUDYING! ! !

~kinda started talking to someone i actually like~

OCT 29- FINALLY WENT BACK HOME TO DUQUE HUHU

OCT 29- went to the beach with reg trisha cavite peeps and kuya francis. saw kent kuya jm and jayson at kuya karl’s

OCT 31- inuman with friends i havent seen for so loooooong, drew, ira, pam, josh, angge

UNDAS- made my term paper about islam huhuhuhuhuhu d y i n g

NOV 3- went to the beach with yfc people huhuhu yasu mat ninyah and others. quest ang gracenote were there at villa aplaya also ahahaha

NOV 4- haaayyy left duque again :<

MORE TERM PAPER MAKING

NOV 14- first meeting of that ~someone~ im talking to. went to rou bourbon. agh i actually like this guy can u believe it

NOV 16- saw ~that guy~ again. went over to his place and met his dog

MORE STUDYING

Nov 23- saw ~ that guy~ again// study date

MORE STUDYIN BCOS FINALS IS NEAR IM DED

Nov 29- adventures with dean and mia at 3am. smoked a lot this month brOo i was ded more studying

Dec 2- mom visited me huhu lord tnx

Dec 3- Agape

Dec 8 onwards- FINALS WEEK a lot of smoking//very very very ded at this point

Dec 13- SURVIVED FINALS AND WENT OUT WITH 1POL3

Dec 15- i was high with kuya and claud

Dec 17- drank with kuya and claud

Dec 19- i was high

Dec 20- mom and micha and pau arrived

Dec 21- PASKUHAN with micha <3 ~the guy~ i was talking to ditched me lol. the dating thing was “paused” looooooool things started going downhill again but paskuhan was so fun!!!!! huhhuhuh definitely made me feel things. saaw ransom collective and spongecola <3 mia and chad r now together. micha slept in my dorm

Dec 23 and 24 and 25- christmas shenanigans in ateneo.

Dec 24- cinco ako sa nstp. i died seeing this

Dec 28- BANDERSNATCH!!!!!!!

Dec 29- went to bulacan for Kuya Oyo’s wedding cute couple

Dec 30-31- STAYCATION with the fam

DEC 31- went home and welcomed the new year. smy prof hasnt still replied for the cinco he gave me.

yaaaaalllllll 2018 was rough. a lot has happend. and im difinitely not the same person anymore. whats worse is that im kinda disappointed of what i turned out to be. :/ things are just sad. i havent been able to pick myself up until now. idk if im just in the right place or in the right time or with the right people but all u i know is that things could be in a much better place. i just hope that 2019 would put things in a better place. i cried a ton shit of tears this year. cut a few scars.left a lot of people. so much new things. it was my wildest year so far. Living independently alone, surviving college and the city life--- it was very different from what Im used to. but hey i survived and im proud of myself for that.2018 u were painful---so painful.  U made me try so hard and fail so hard at every aspect. I tried to maintain ties with friends even though it wasnt rly my thing. It was so hard for me to maintain connection agh but at least i still tried. Acads wise, I tried so hard to study for that one major prelim exam and i failed--- for the very first time, i failed a major exam. I tried to love--- yup--- thats totally not me--- i tried to date people. but lol things rly just dont work out sometimes. it be lyk that sometimes. ako pa yung dinitch HAHAHAHAH lol

the first half of the year was so fulfilling a lot of fun times. Never have i ever felt lyk i knew myself so much. everything i did was everything i wanted to do. For the first time i felt lyk i was turning out to be who i wanted to be but surprise everything turned around at the second half of the year.

it  made me feel lost it made me feel alone. its 2019 and that feeling hasnt changed. still a ton shit of anxiety. god Every holiday season i try my best to get in the holiday spirit but hah this year no matter how hard i try i wasnt just feeling it.  everything feels so static i dont wanna be like this anymore. The second half of 2018 made me feel like im the wrong place am i in the wrong place i dont know.

[chelsorz07]

the best part about these is I don’t look at my old answers beforehand

Who reads my surveys? Nobody? Thought so. Okay.

Have you ever had a panic attack? many, thanks. Probably several hundred, but I haven’t had one in a long time. Mostly because I never leave my house. Where is the person who has your heart at the moment? home, HQ, idk. I think he’s on nights this hitch, so work, till 6am. Do you think relationships are hard? they can be. I think everything is hard. But I mean you still gotta try. Otherwise you’re just alone and miserable forever and that’s no fun. Do you think you have made a difference in anyone's life? i try. I think there are people who will remember me, but I don’t necessarily believe that I’ve had a life-changing impact. Are you a type of person who cares what people say about you? nooope. Not really. Unless they have some sort of legitimate authority over me. Like my boss. But even then I don’t dwell on it. A minimum wage job isn’t worth fretting over. Has anyone lied to you today? probably. I don’t think so. Most of my conversations today haven’t been serious enough to warrant a lie. Have you recently lost someone that means everything to you? i definitely have not. Nope. If you get a chance to move somewhere, where would you move? actually i wouldn't even mind staying in bradford, as long as i could just get out of this house. I WANT TO GO HOMEEEE. When's the last time you wanted to punch someone in the face? last night playing mario party with amanda, gary, and aaron. Not sure. Oh yeah, this bitch in front of me at the ATL show that kept twerking her ass on me to push me back when I was trying to get to my sister.   Do you understand football? i loooove football. of course i understand it. The fooseball is my life. Well not quite that severe. But yeah I get it and I need it. What is your favorite cartoon character? used to be patrick. now i don't really have one. cartoons make me rage. Experiment 626. At the moment, do you terribly miss someone? well gary's here but i still miss her cuz i only got to spend like 12 hours with her yesterday and i don't know if i'll be able to see her again before she leaves. All my people in Bradford, and my friend Faith because I haven’t seen her since April even though she literally lives like 2 miles away. What time did you wake up this morning? i didn't even get home till quarter to 6...got up at quarter to 9. My alarm was set for 9:30...Think I woke up sometime between 8:30 and 9. Do you like to cuddle/snuggle? love it. I do but I don’t. Because like cuddling is nice but I also have trouble breathing. Who was the last person you held hands with? dave. Dave is the only person I hold hands with.  Are you texting anyone? yep. Talking to Dave and Mike on fb messenger. Are you a morning person or a night person? night. My body is neither. My brain is a night person. Do you believe that everything happens for a reason? it should. Who the hell knows. Do you like taking walks in the middle of the night? yeahhh. I used to. Don’t care for taking walks at all these days. What is your biggest annoyance at the moment? i have to do a bunch of shit today before i can leave...but i'm not coming home the rest of the weekend so it's all good. I’m itchy. Psoriasis probs. Who did you last take a picture with? gary and amanda. Haaaang on I have to check my camera. Maranda, on my birthday. What are you going to do tomorrow? there's a very small chance i'll go to state park to eat with the family, and then hopefully we're camping. but we always say we're camping and we never do. so i'm not optimistic. Whole lotta nothin’, and probably a load of laundry. Have you ever thrown something at anyone? all the time. I mean not like with intent to injure them. But I do tend to throw shit occasionally. Not actual shit. I’m not a baboon. Have you ever been called a bitch? i am a bitch. so yeah. This will never change. Are you currently mad at someone? no. just annoyed with my parents. Not really. I’ve actually been feeling pretty good lately. If you could have anything right now, what would it be? money. Money and not heartburn. Do you want to have children? not anytime in the forseeable future. Yeah but I don’t get emotional about it anymore because I know I don’t have my shit together enough to be responsible for the life of another human being. Plus, yaknow, I haven’t had sex in six months. Can you recall the last time you liked someone a lot? now. Currently. Has anyone put their arms around you in the past 5 days? yesss ^_^ No because he’s been gone for 5 days. It’s actually been about a week and a half. What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? this morning. um...i cleared stuff off my bed. Peed, probably. Smoked a cigarette, definitely. Does cuddling freak you out? not even remotely. Just when I start suffocating. Last person you saw other than family? gary, aaron, and amanda. My old Elder-Beerman friends. I visited them after work today. Are you happy? toats!! I don’t know as I’d go that far but I do feel better than I have in months. Were you single on your last birthday? no.  I was not.

Do you talk a lot? way too much. I can, when it’s been too long since I’ve had human contact. I also talk to myself, and to my cats. But I like my quiet time too. Do you ignore people when you're mad/upset with them? usually. I ignore people pretty much always. Who was the last person to go to the movies with you? marty. yeah. i haven't been to the movies in almost 2 years. Dave. It was over a year ago though. We’re not theater people. I just REALLY wanted to see Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates. Who do you turn to when you're down? friends. My Marshie ♥ Do you swear a lot? all the damn time. Can’t not. I swear so much it’s not even swearing anymore. Are there any bruises on your body? yes! don't ask. lol Yeah idk what happened I think one of the tote bag hanger things at work attacked me. Have you ever had stitches? when i got my tonsils out. Yes. Tonsils and gallbladder.  Would you go out with someone right now if they asked? i'm already with someone. Sorry, I’s a taken woman. Do you think you can last in a relationship for six months? i can. If the last eight years are anything to go by, I’d say so. Have you ever slept on a couch with someone of the opposite sex? futon, couch, whatevs. Yup. Who was the last person you had a serious conversation with? dude the four of us spent like five hours just talking about shit last night. Probably Amanda. That’s who I have all my serious conversations with. When you meet the right person, do you fall fast? yes. i sure as hell did this time. I guess so. What did you do last night? tanning with amanda, dinner with her and gary, then we went to olean, hung out with the guys downtown for a while, and went back to gary's uncle's house and played the Wii until 5am lol Watched Shameless and cried about Mickey. Again. What's one thing you're tired of? being controlled. Being poor and being sad all the time. Also heartburn. Are you a jealous person? no. Ehh. Not really. What were you doing at 8:00 this morning? fuckin' sleeping. Very close to waking up. I had a weird dream but don’t remember what it was about. Do you say sexy a lot? i hate that word. Only about the cast of Supernatural. Are you a bad influence? haha probably. appaently i get people drunk and take advantage of them. i didn't hear him complaining though lol I mean I encourage smoking, drinking, and the destruction of men. But I don’t think I have enough clout to actually influence anyone. Do you have trust issues? not really. i just don't trust people until they've earned it. I don’t really trust anyone. I’ve just accepted that that’s not a thing anymore. Do you straighten your hair everyday? no. Maybe once a week or once every two weeks. My hair is pretty cooperative most of the time so it looks okay just drying it. Have you argued with anyone today? ehh. kinda random bickering. Not that I recall. Any current scabs or bruises? you asked this already. You asked this already. Are you klutzy? very. Obviously if I’ve always got bruises I don’t know the cause of. Ever tripped over your own feet? oh, daily. Quite often. Would you consider permanent make-up? no. a couple women my mom works with have their eyeliner or lipliner tattooed on...it's not attractive. I like doing my makeup differently every day too much to do that. Will your next kiss be a mistake? no way. Um, no. Are you nice to everyone? ha. nope. I’m nicer than I used to be. What is the last non-alcoholic drink you had? monster. Sweet tea. That’s why I have heartburn. What was the best thing that happened today? nothing really good has happened today. i want my shirts to come...and i'll be out later, so that's always good. My old supervisor hugging me when I haven’t seen her in months and thought she was mad at me for quitting. Are you open about your feelings or closed off? depends what i'm feeling and who i'm dealing with. If they’re good, meh, or sucky feelings I’ll talk about them. If they’re really bad I’ll either joke about them to avoid dealing or just not talk at all. What's the last thing you borrowed from someone? erica's sunglasses, and she told me i could have them lol Ummmmm...I don’t interact with people enough to borrow things, I guess. Do you think you're normal? i'm far from normal. Why in the hell would I want to be normal? Have you ever been used? quite often. Yeah but it’s whatevs. Do you listen to music a lot? of course. All the damn time. Do you celebrate Christmas? yeah, but i want to stop. it's too much hullaballoo. don't care if i spelled that right haha For my family’s benefit. And for the food. And I actually like getting gifts for other people. But the stress, drama, and Jesus bullshit ruins it for me every year. Do you believe you can be in love with someone without knowing them? to some extent, but you can't love them completely. in the same respect though, i don't think you can ever truly know someone one hundred percent. I think there are a lot of things I don’t know about Dave, and I still love him. He’s been around longer than I have so obviously he had an entire life before me. I don’t feel the need to know about that. Have you ever talked in your sleep? no. My mom said I screamed in my sleep once, but I don’t talk. Do you think people have any misconceptions about you? i know they do. I’m often underestimated. Which is fine.  Are you easily amused? very much so. If I’m in the right mood to be. What do you get complimented on the most? titties. Recently, my makeup. Will this weekend be a good one? hopefully. It just ended. And it was alright. Not as good as last weekend. But that’s because I’m here and not in Bradford.

Has anyone said they love you in the last week? yes. No. Do you sleep with your door open or closed? closed. My bedroom door is always closed because the cats aren’t allowed in there. But recently I’ve been sleeping in their room (because I’m a hypocrite) and I have to leave that door open because they come in and out at all hours. Who was the last person you rode in the car with that was under 21? amanda & gary. Allison. Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile? yesss. A couple. Have you ever kissed someone under fireworks? no...we never ended up going to the fireworks. Somehow we still keep missing the fireworks lol Could you handle a long distance relationship? i tried and failed. but distance was the least of our issues. Dave and I are long distance 2/3 of the time because of his schedule.