#gotdammit T

[thickness-protection-program]

Ok ace anon again hi I actually rlly appreciate all your fat man positivity cause like I'm nonbinary but on T and prefer being masc and I've just been gaining weight more than I usually used to and now I'm all hairy and have fat belly and idk I think I look better than I ever have tbh but I'm always worried what other ppl will think (like I chose to make myself uglier or something??) and anyway yeah. Btw we're the same age if your blog description is accurate I just thought that was cool

27 year old bestie fuck what everybody else thinks the only person's opinion about you that's valid is your own. If you think you look good then gotdammit you look gooooood period! Not that my opinion matters either but I think you're doing amazing :)

[imaginethatwolverine]

100 followers. We did it.

FINALLY BROKE THE FIRST BIG MILESTONE I WANNA THANK ALL YALL BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE FOR SUPPORTING THIS BLOG BLESS YOUR SOULS.

HAVE A WONDERFUL WEEKEND, DARLIN’S.

-T

[ruffboijuliaburnsides]

BMood on the transsexual post. Mostly cause in my country, it's still used? T in here stands for transsexual, tranvestite and transgender. These identities overlap but are not the same! Yet if you use two of those terms in tumblr, you get yelled at. Just, gotdammit, let people identify themselves, please

Yes!

A transvestite is someone who likes to dress up as another gender. A transsexual is someone who wants to have medical intervention. A transgender person is someone who doesn't identify as the gender they were assigned at birth. Honestly a transsexual or a transvestite could also be transgender! but it's not all one thing.

And even if you count it as being along the same sliding scale, they're all fuckin valid.

[angelsswirl]

Whatever Makes You Happy

Chapter 9: dance in the moonlight

Notes: do we like the angst? if not this chapter represents a slight turning point. and i also made a new title card for funsies.

Wrd Cnt: 1.3k

Rating: T

I know it's warmer where you are. And it's safer by your side. But right now I can't be what you want. Just give it time.

"I'll kill her. Just say the word." Jennie seemed to remind you for the one hundredth time.

You rolled your eyes in response, "It really isn't that big of a deal. She got what she wanted from me. I got part of what I wanted from her. End of the story."

Jennie looked to her girlfriend for help. Jisoo only shrugged.

"But you want more."

Your sigh caused your eyelashes to flutter, "But she doesn't. Look. There's nothing I can do about it. There's nothing I'm going to do about it. I'm going to keep my head down, do my job, and only interact with her if I absolutely have to."

"...but you don't want that."

You slapped your hand down on the counter of the bar. It was noon, so there was no one in the building but you, Jennie, Jisoo, and her boss who was out of earshot in his office.

You were tired of people telling you what you wanted. Tired of people telling you what you needed. It seemed like you were the only person okay with giving up.

"I know it's not what I want. It doesn't matter what I want."

And you had known that fact from the very beginning.

"It should." Jennie mumbled.

"But it doesn't. And it is what it is."

It is what it is. That was your story, and you have no choice but to stick with it.

You frowned at the note on your bed. Next to it sat an elegant gold gown, definitely more expensive than probably everything you had ever bought for yourself combined.

Dohyung peaked his head around your doorway. Kijung did the same thing a few inches below him. You would have found the sight comical if Dohyung hadn't have fallen directly on top of Kijung three seconds later.

They murmur between themselves for a few seconds before finally entering your room properly. They smile at you brightly, clearly wanting something.

"You see your gift?" Kijung asked, pointing to the dress and the note.

You nodded, not particularly enthused, but the boys didn't need to know that.

"Mom picked it out for you. So, you can go to her grown up party with her. You have to hurry up so you can make it on time. Mom says it's bad to be late. So, I guess that's always why she just doesn't go to things."

You stifle a hardy laugh behind a cough.

"It's nice of her. But I don't think I'm going to go. I rather stay here and hang out with you guys." Truth was you didn't want to give Lisa the satisfaction at this point.

"We want you to go, Y/N."

You took a deep breath. They were giving you the eyes. The puppy eyes. They knew you couldn't resist.

"Fine. But I'm not wearing this dress."

The boys shrugged indifferently. Little did you know, their allowance had only relied on getting you to agree to going. Lisa never said anything about you wore. So, as far as they were concerned, they had done their job.

"I thought you said Y/N was coming." Chaeyoung inquired. She attempted to sip at her flute of champagne nonchalantly.

Lisa rolled her eyes, "No I didn't. I said I invited her. There's a difference."

"Then, where is sh-" Chaeyoung trailed off as her eyes shown up at the top of the grand stairway.

Lisa followed her eyes with a frown, her face soon mirroring Chaeyoung's.

There you were.

Standing at the top of the stairs like you owned the place. And at this point, Lisa easily could have been convinced you did.

At one point she thinks she even stopped breathing. Because you were, well, breathtaking. But, of course, Lisa had always been ever aware of that simple fact.

You seemed to be descending in slow motion. At least half the room had their eyes on you, including Chaeyoung. Much to Lisa's chagrin.

Ages must pass before you come to a stop in front of them.

"That's not the dress I picked out for you." No. She does not know why those are the words that choose to spill past her lips. Yes. She does regret that those are the words that choose to spill past her lips.

You wore a sparkly tight fitting red gown with a slit down the side to reveal your matching red skinny heel pumps.

"Oh, look. She's becoming self aware." You said sarcastically.

Liss supposed she deserved that.

"I-" You cut Lisa off promptly.

"Come on, Chae. Let's dance."

And Chaeyoung followed you like a lost, drooling puppy immediately.

Lisa supposed she deserved that too.

Lisa absolutely did not deserve this.

She had been watching you drape yourself over Chaeyoung all night. You were her guest, gotdammit!

She had half a mind to rip you away from Chaeyoung and sweep you off your feet dramatically. But you were already mad at her, and that would improve nothing at all.

So, she sulked.

Even though she was supposed to be networking.

Sulking felt much more appropriate.

She'd maybe go as far as to say that you were purposely attempting to make her jealous.

She'd go even farther as to say that it was most definitely working. Her excuse, is that it's Chaeyoung. If it was anyone else she wouldn't care. But that wasn't true. Lisa hated seeing you with anyone that wasn't her.

And yet.

And yet, she kept pushing you into the arms of others.

She knew this was hard on you. It was hard on her too. She made a mistake. Not sleeping with you. That was one of the single best decisions of her life. No, the mistake she made was pulling away from you that morning. Her mistake was making you believe that you were only worthy of a one time fuck.

The truth of the matter?

Lisa was fairly sure you ruined her for anyone else that night.

But.

But she was engaged. And yeah, Seulgi may not be here tonight but she was still engaged to her. No matter how much she didn't want to be. She still had to provide for her children and make sure they would be set in the future. She still had to run her business efficiently, and effectively, and her way. She still-she still.....you just leaned your head onto Chaeyoung's shoulder like you enjoyed being there. Like you had never placed your head onto Lisa's. Like you could never put your head onto Lisa's.

Lisa Manoban was in love with you.

And there was nothing either of you could do about it.

Lisa still had to do all of those things. Or so she thought, before she realized she was in love with you. A realization that she finds staring back at her at the bottom of her champagne bottle.

Lisa still had to do all of those things. Or so she thought.

Now, she's looking at you through the warped view of the bottom of the champagne flute. And somehow, she's never seen you clearer.

Having her cake and eating it too hadn't been working. She only ended up putting more obstacles in your way.

So, that meant she was just going to figure out a way to remove all the obstacles. Even if it meant running through them head first.

She finally brought the empty flute down from her lips. Her eyes met yours as you peered over Chaeyoung's shoulder. Your arm wrapped around the tall woman's neck, locked in a secure embrace as the two of you slow dance.

Lisa winked at you and you stepped on Chaeyoung's toe.

Checkmate.

[deoovat]

Do you have any Knuxadow headcannons?

 Ψ(｀▽´)Ψ🔥ohhhh BABY DO I EVERRR🔥

okok imma chill. This is a long as list but its only like 15% of my headcanons but WE DONT NEED TO BE HERE ALL DAY SO HERE.

->Shadow at first thinks Knuckles fuckin stinks. Not like in a sense of having body odor or what have you, but he thinks Knuckles stinks because his chaos energy is so inactive and dormant that it smells and feels sour.Knuckles has spent the long years of his life surrounded by the Master Emerald. Knuckles has more chaos energy in his body than Shadow and Sonic combined. But the echidna never uses it, so all it does is continue piling and piling and piling and it makes his nose itch. 

->All that unused sour energy reeks to Shadow (who is the only person who can actually scent it because he’s basically made up of it) so when he first instigates the echidna into fighting him, in a way, the hedgehog wants to help him. Forcing him to use all that power on someone who can actually take it. 

->Shadow is really attracted by the fact that Knuckles can absolutely over-power him but doesn’t brag about it. He enjoys fighting him way too much. It sends him on an adrenaline high he can’t get anywhere else. However, he doesn't like the fact the Guardian hides his actual strength because he’s afraid of hurting or killing someone. It’s an understandable fear but still, it irks him. 

->Shadow is the only one that knows Knuckles is a l o t fucking stronger than he lets on. 

->Shadow is also the only one who knows Knuckles true age has been lost to time. 

->Knuckles has a strange way of comforting people but he never hesitated to remind Shadow that he’s just as much a part of this world as anyone else is, regardless of how he got there. 

-> There’s a reason Knuckles doesn’t hug people. Its because when he does if he doesn’t check his own strength he could quite literally break someone's ribs. Shadow knows this alllll too well. The first time Knuckles hugged him, forgetting to have any restraint from just how relieved he was to see him he accidentally broke 2 of Shadows ribs. Knuckles was horrified but Shadow found the entire situation hilarious. Even if they did heal within a week or two with the help of him and the Master Emerald.

-> There’s something genuinely disturbing about the fact that the first time the echidna pulled a genuine full-body laugh from his boyfriend is when he accidentally broke his ribs. Needless to say, Knuckles thinks Shadow has a weird sense of humor. 

-> SONIC IS ABSOLUTELY TO BLAME FOR THEM BEING TOGETHER AND HE’S SO SMUG ABOUT IT. Sonic has deemed himself a matchmaker and no one is safe. He’s to damn proud of himself too, that he’s the one who nudged the two together in his own sneaky way.

->Knuckles has been teaching Shadow words and phrases in one of the languages of his tribe. Shadows the only person Knuckles trusts enough to share this with. It’s a very touchy subject and dear and close to his heart. He doesn’t have anyone to share his unfortunately dead culture with and was prepared to take it to the grave with him (whenever he actually fuckin dies).

->Shadow loves spicy food but Knuckles can’t handle it. Like at all. Spice fucks him up. So does sweets, which Shadow also loves. Knuckles prefers foods like spinach puffs and soups. HE FUCKIN LOVES BREAD THO. GET HIM BREAD AND HE’S THE HAPPIEST GUY ALIVE.

-> He’ll never admit it, but the tough guy, Knuckles, likes when Shadow is protective. Like really likes it. Not at first, because Knuckles can fight his own damn battles but after being together for a long time, Knuckles can say now he finds it damn cute. 

-> Sometimes when the echidna is seriously stressed or frustrated his eyes will start tearing and he doesn’t even know it half the time. Shadow hates seeing Knuckles cry. It makes him feel like someone just threw a brick at his stomach. But Shadow has learned not to panic or point it out to him, but just slowly calm him down and wipe the tears away before Knuckles notices they’re falling. 

-> Shadow is most definitely a top and Knuckles is most definitely a bottom, but they like to switch from time to time depending on their mood. It doesn’t truly matter to them who’s in what position in a sense. Knuckles just enjoys being taken care of for once in his life and Shadow enjoys being trusted enough to take care of the person he loves, especially when they’re at their most vulnerable.

-> Shadow often bites Knuckles for no fucking reason at all and Knuckles is exasperated every time. They could just be laying in the grass together and Shadow would chomp on his shoulder out of nowhere, cueing Knuckles going ‘gotdammit, again?! Knock it off!’ But he doesn’t really complain. Mostly because it usually means the hedgehog is in a good mood and is being playful. Plus his snickering sometimes sounds to close to a giggle and Knuckles finds that absolutely adorable.

-> There is absolutely no end to the colorful vocabulary Shadow knows and uses to embarrass his boyfriend. If he calls Knuckles beautiful so much that the word drys up, no need to worry! He has at least 21 other synonyms memorized just to make his boyfriend turn beet fucking red. He reeds to many books. 60% of it is gross romance. Did I mention that Shadows a bookworm? 

-> Shadows a bookworm. Noone knows but Knuckles, Rouge and Omega. Shadow doesn’t know how to function in a relationship when they first get together so you know what he does? He reads a bunch of romance novels to get an idea. Not even the good ones. It was the worst decision of his fucking life. Knuckles still laughs at him about it till this day. 

-> Also, he loves Knuckles eyes. It’s his favorite part of him (next comes his toothy grins) To him, they’re the prettiest eyes he’s ever seen. He can stare at them for hours. Knuckles would punch him for it though. 

god there's so much more BUT IMMA END IT THERE because this rabbit hole is honest to god, bottomless.

[chiripepe]

Oh god, so I went into the final region of London and handled everything like a boss, including the fate of the Pillar of that community. BUT I then get t-boned when deciding the fate of the last Pillar and seconds after making my decision I realized I got played like a fiddle. GotDAMMIT!! THIS GAME IS SO FUCKING GOOD!!! Finally so much of the plot is being revealed but there's still SO MUCH MORE!!! ARGH!!! I can't stop playing this fucking game! Last night I came right back home and fired up the PS4 to play more!!

Really happy I discovered Vampyr and also that I decided to play on HARD mode. It’s really not that much more difficult and honestly, it did exactly what hard mode is supposed to do; it pushed me to master the battle and weapon modifications systems.

More on that, and this is a bit spoilery for those thinking about playing the game eventually but not by much: I came up with the best weapon, sidearm and skills combinations! I finally got one of those bad ass sabers the vampires use and that’s my damage output weapon while the hacksaw which has ben my constant companions since I found it early on is my blood drawing weapon replacing the scythe. Two handed weapons have the best damage potential out of all main weapons but I like having quick access to my gun/shotgun without having to go into the equipment menu in the heat of battle. The scythe is great though because it does massive damage and I modified it to also draw tons of blood which allows me to keep that blood meter full for combos with shadow and blood magic. My shotgun is all damage while my handgun does damage but also allows me to stun enemies for a quick succ, replentishing my blood meter as well. That’s not all, I’ve been using the show skill since the beginning and the upgrade tree I picked creates a pool that damages enemies while also replenishing blood, so I’m essentially unstoppable.

The flow of battle is now excellent and honestly... I should have held off on wiping out the docks. I freaked out after a massive difficulty spike through the story progression and also because the decision I made with the pillar of that community made me feel all was lost there anyway. But honestly there were other ways of gaining EXP without sacrificing that entire part of town.

This game is excellent. I wish I had video editing software cuz I’d love to do a video about it tbh and this game came around at the perfect time cuz it helped me get through the holidays which are always kind of somber and depressing for me.

100% RECOMMEND THIS GAME, worth every penny.

[sparklemichele]

Hay, if you dont mind can you Write a Tom Hardy story, in which he come back from US with his friend Cillian Murphy and find his wife was in a very bad starte, like she was in depression and doing self harm to her self, after seeing this Tom was really sad and when Tom ask her why she didn't him before, so she reply that she was scared that he might think she is mad, if its okay for you

Here you go.

Trigger warning of self-harm, depression, mental disorder and cutting. Do not proceed if you are easily triggered. DO NOT READ BELOW THIS LINE IF YOU ARE EASILY TRIGGERED. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!

Nuire

“Y/N!” Tom called out your name once he and his friend Cillian entered his home. Tom shut the door behind Cillian. “She will be happy to see you,” He told Cillian as he motions for him to sit down and make himself at home. Tom headed to the bedroom and heard the shower running. It’s been weeks since he has seen you as he was filming in the States, so he figured you would not mind if he interrupted your shower. He threw his suitcases down and opened the bathroom door. He frowned when he didn’t see your silhouette standing behind the shower door. Where were you? He opened the shower door to find you in a fetal position in the shower and your thighs covered in blood. Blood flowed down the drain of the shower and for a split-second Tom thought you were on your menstrual until he saw you clutching a razor blade in your right hand.

“Y/N!” What were you doing to yourself? You barely acknowledge his presence. You were extremely lethargic.

Tom, cut off theshower, grabbed the towel that was hanging on the shower rod, pried your righthand open to remove the blade, threw it in the trash and wrapped you up and carried you into the bed room.

“Is everything alright?” Cillian called from the living room as Tom laid your wet body on the bed.

“Y/N, what did you do?”Tom was in near hysterics as he saw the blood seeping from the long, cut marks on your inner thighs below your femoral artery.

“Tom?” You asked hoarsely.

“It’s me baby,” Tom quickly kissed your forehead before running to the bathroom to get another towel to soak up the blood that was still seeping from your self-inflicted cuts.

“What did you do baby?” He asked as he gently patted the inside of your thighs.

“I didn’t want you to see this,” You tried to sit up, but Tom told you to lay back down.

Cillian softly knocked on the bedroom door. “Is everything alright?” He asked again through the door.

“Don’t move,” Tom told you as he rushed to the door. Tom cracked open the door.

“Cillian, I’m sorry but she is not feeling well. Can I call you later?”

“Sure……sure. The car service is still outside. Give her my love and I will talk to you later mate.”

Tom nodded and quickly shut the door, went into the bathroom, found the first aid kit along with extra sterile bandages and tape and was back to you in seconds. You had sat up in the bed with your breast exposed, wincing as you continue to wipe away the blood.

“Tom can you get me at-shirt and shorts out the drawer please?” Tom got you a t-shirt and shorts and silently watched as you slowly put it on the t-shirt trying not to get blood on it.

“Are you going to talk to me?” Tom asked as he sat on the edge of the bed watching you wipe more blood away. He gasps as he saw the extent of your cuts and tears sprung to his eyes.

“Gotdammit! Y/N, why?!”He choked as tears fell from his eyes. Seeing how hurt he was caused your feelings of depression and worthlessness to intensify. You started to cry as well.

“I’m sorry Tom.”

“Why would you harm yourself like this?” You looked down not wanting to meet his questioning gaze. Tom lifted your chin to look at him and wiped your tears away.

“Talk to me,” He searched your face for some type of answer.

“Let me get cleaned up and bandaged up and we will talk.” You promised as you slowly made your way offthe bed grabbing the bandages.

“Do you need help?”

“No, I got it.”

Tom patiently waited for you to return in the bedroom from the bathroom. After about fifteen minutes you finally opened the door and slowly walked in, with your shorts on, bandages on both your thighs and sat next to him on the bed.

“I can’t pinpoint what exactly triggered me to cutting myself again.” You told him finally looking in his beautiful blue eyes that were red from his tears earlier.

“Again?”

“Yes, I have done it before when I was younger and maybe a few years before we met.”

“So those scars on your thighs are not from an accident when you were younger?”

“No.” You whispered.

“Y/N. Is it something I did?”

“Oh God! No Tom! Don’t think that. I get depressed at times and sometimes I just can’t cope, and I cut myself to handle if I have too much stress and lately it just seems to have been piling up since you have been gone to the States. I usually have coping mechanisms in place and my therapist usually can help but this time around it was just too much. I could not help it. I am sorry if I scared you.”

“Why didn’t you tell me about this before?”

“Because I thought I had a handle on it. I haven’t had an episode in years. Plus, I was scared you would not understand and be upset with me and potentially leave me,” You let out a heavy sigh.

“Leave you? I would not leave you. You can tell me anything Y/N. I am here for you, always. I can’t believe you would think such a thing.” You bit your lip to keep fresh tears at bay. “What has been stressing you since I have been gone?”

“Just stuff with my business. It just seems everyone wanted everything all at once and I am only one person.”

“Maybe it’s time for a personal assistant.” Tom suggested.

“Yes maybe. I also missed you. I really hate it when you are away.”

“I know honey. I miss you too when I am away. My next couple of films are closer to home. Next time I have to go over seas you should have an assistant who can handle your business enough where you can come visit me on set,” You nodded your head in agreement. “Will you make an appointment with your therapist this week?”

You nodded yes.

“Are you sure you are not mad at me Tom?” You looked up at him again and tears escaped your eyes and flowed down your cheeks. You could not lose your husband. You wanted him to understand your disorder and the pain you were in. You wished you had told him before the extent of your pain but again you did not want to scare him away.

“No, I am not upset with you. I want you to get the help you need Y/N. I want you to be happy. I want to make you happy.”

“You make me happy Tom.I’m just going to need to see my psychiatrist to maybe get my meds adjusted and see my therapist. I know when I need extra help and now is the time.”

“I’m here for you. Doyou think you will be able to tell me if you feel like self-harming again?” Tom asked as he slowly pulled you in an embrace, careful not to aggravate your thighs. You shook your head no.

“To be honest Tom I don’t really know. That is something I can’t promise…but I will try. I promise I will try,” You slightly pulled from his embraced and gently tugged at his beard as you looked into his sad eyes.

“As long as you try love. As long as you try.”

Tom softly kissed your forehead and let out worried sigh. He did not care how long the road would before your recovery or for you to gain some sense of your what you considered to be your happiness he knew he would be with you every step of the way.

[projektrevenge]

ariesjpeg replied to your photo “oh gotdammit”

marry them

t b h i would if he didn’t fucking move away

[carrotpiss]

incoming just probably incoherent wall of text as i just want to note down the mess time im having (that isnt trying to get hrt/failing uni related, tho those are also happening)

I have a ?crush? and i went on a date with him (?maybe sort of???) that sort of i asked him on (but a flatmate did the asking, over whatsapp) while drunk at 4ish in the morning sunday, after a night out. All very not me things. My flatmate kind of coerced me into it- she’d seen my crush ask me for my number (!!!) in the middle of the dancefloor, though i did (and still) maintain the belief that this was only so we could exchange music reccs easier (though we already have eachother on fb..?) but i was drunk and my flatmate was pushy and the risky message was sent. Instantly felt regret bc honestly im more than fine with just being friends, the number exchanging probably was nothing, and im Really not his type. I am a 21 yr old pre-t trans guy who looks like a 16yr old gnc girl, my crush (Ill call him A, bc i feel dumb saying crush) is a cis gay dude interested in bears.

At 7am, he messaged me back agreeing to a date. I hadnt slept due to my flatmate having a bit of a tiz and also anxiety/guilt over asking A out. It took me 3hrs to respond. He suggested midday in town we’d meet etc and i agreed. I was insanely hungover from the night before, as well as severly sleep deprived so I probably looked great when I showed up. We had a nice time wandering around chatting etc tried to have some nandos but i immediately lost my appetite to anxiety. Spent more time chatting etc whatever. Turns out we have a lot in common and we get along well! he also complimented me? at one point? might of been a joke? (we were talking abt the twilight series and he made a quip abt my skin being sparkly) i reflexively responded with a light hearted ‘fuck off’, still feel guilty abt that in case he was being nice.

Ive never acc been on a date before, so i cant comment on how much of like a date it was. It was nice though. and fucking gotdammit he just looked really nice. like a complete nerd trying to look cool but still in an annoyingly endearing way. (and cooler than me, who hasnt shaved in a month, looks hungover, extreme dark circles, chugging lucozade while dressed like an edgey teen.)

Im rambling, but hey only future me gonna read this (unless one of my 4 followers, s/o to you, gets too bored. please reconsider the actions in your life that brought you here if so.) it was just... nice. I was stressed and anxious the whole time but he was just so nice abt it all my anxiety never got bad when i was with him. Once it ended i had a bit of a panic in my room over it all tho, and told a friend abt the whole thing.

We hadnt spoken again until earlier today when he messaged me (im not good at communication okay, this is too scary for me) abt good news abt a mutal friend getting their gic referall accepted, i congratulated and  i mentioned i got mine accepted too recently so that was cool it was around the same time and he suggested a party to celebrate. I said hell yeah, but left it at that. idk what else to respond.

Im just auhh ovewhelmed atm and dont need a crush on a cis gay dude that probably doesnt like me on my plate. but its.... nice. it feels like a more human distraction that i should be having, rather than yknow fear for the future and getting kicked out from my parents house once uni is over and i return, on hrt. but fuck i dont want to fuck up another (albiet potential) friendship. thats all i ever do.

[chiripepe]

My pelvic floor, bitch... that's what I get for tryna do yoga shit I'm 33 gotdammit... I need to start working out and do stretching exercises cuz I'm gonna pull a tendon in my groin tryna be that bitch and then I can't walk right. My taint...

Eso te pasa por artista. Y por no estrecharte.