#got out of bed (miracle) actually went upstairs and my other roommate had also gotten up late which made me feel better abt it

[silvershoe]

wow i have no self discipline. i dont know if i ever did its been like actually a life long issue its kind of miraculous i'm in college and got straight a's in high school because i really did the bare minimum to get those a's and now im at a school thats actually like pretty difficult in comparison and i have to actually work to understand the material and when i actually do the readings and spend time doing my homework i feel really fulfilled and happy about being at an academically rigorous institution but then the second i have to write an essay i dont want to write everything goes out the window and i end up rotting in bed on animal crossing pocket camp instead of doing the things i dont want to do. how do i force myself to do things when my brainwall against things i dont want to do is like 100 feet thick