#got my vaccine tomorrow too and just hoping it doesnt trigger a migraine

[sovereign-tempest]

TL;DR: Everything sucks, please distract me with memes or plot with me on Discord (IM me for Discord if you dont have me already).

Long version:-

// I’m a mixture of angry, upset and terrified. Because of several reasons, I’m not able to work right now (major depression, constant headaches/migraines which can lead to fluid on the brain and a hospital stay and having no-one around to look after the baby if I did work) so I claim benefits. My partner works, but his wage isn’t enough to cover us, so the benefits lift it up a little so we can afford rent and such. 

// It’s been this way for a while. They keep pushing me to look for work despite my doctors order that we have to wait until we find out what’s wrong with me. They insist that both my partner and I need to be in full time work and my son needs to be palmed off to literally everyone but us... because apparently that’s how parenting works? F*ck off, not letting rando’s look after my son, and there’s no family around to help because they’re all far away or work full time themselves... Not our fault my partners full time employer went bust during 2020 and he only has this part time job now - but aside from them being annoying and giving me a panic attack every month, it’s been alright.

// My statement for what I’m due to get on the next pay day came in today. My partner had only a couple hundred from his wage, just over half of rent because his store had to take on loads more staff - shops shutting all over because of COVID does that to a company. Anyway, I figured I’d get a little more than usual this month, so I went to check so I can organise my funds for the month.

// £0. Wait. Nothing? Why?! “an employer has stated you have a take-home payment of £7000+ this month”. WHAT employer?!

// I obviously rang up to explain I’ve not been employed for a year and we’re waiting for hospital appointments and tests to find out what’s wrong with my head and if I need surgery or not so I can function. (Im happy to start looking for part time work once my son was in school. Apparently that’s not enough) - and now apparently this employer has said they’ve paid me when...I dont HAVE an employer and I certainly haven’t had thousands of pounds in my account this month. All they said to me was they’ll give it to a case worker and I’ll hear from them either today or tomorrow. It didn’t happen, so I’m assuming tomorrow. Apparently this is the one time they’ll talk to me through their Journal entries - this is the first time I want a phone call so I can explain and get answers instantly, not hours between replies... 

// Obviously I have evidence that nothing of the sort has gone into my bank account and I have a slip from my last employer saying I left - but I have this horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach they either wont care/wont ask for evidence/take this mystery employer’s word for it/or even if they do see they’ve f*cked up royally, wont be able to resolve it in time for my payment this month.

// Collectively, we have less than £50 to last until the end of the month (if I dont get any luck), where Partner gets about £390. Rent and tax is £650+. I am f*cked. I have a kid to feed and no way to do it unless by some miracle they sort things out for me. 

// So I certainly wont be able to sleep tonight. I got a terrible stress-headache just thinking about it. I’ve cried so much today - I was just getting my finances on track after debt and now THIS. I need distractions, need to pull a Dimitri and literally go-go-go until I collapse from exhaustion. Only way I’ll get any kind of sleep.