#got me thinking about taylor lautner in the music vid and stuff cause he's so fine

[wishmemel]

thinking about back to december from satoru's pov.

"You gave me roses and I left them there to die"

thinking about him feeling suffocated after so many things go awry in his life (with suguru, the higher ups, yuuji, etc.) and him pushing you away because of that. thinking about him not realizing that he needed you more in those moments only because he wanted to make himself suffer by being alone even though you tried to communicate so many times that you were right there beside him. thinking about him knowing that you were trying to be there for him and support him but that only made him feel worse. he thought he'd bring you down with him if he stayed. he knew you felt like a ghost in your shared house and he couldn't do anything about it because he was so absorbed in his own issues at the time.

"So this is me swallowin' my pride / Standin' in front of you sayin' I'm sorry for that night / And I go back to December all the time"

thinking about him breaking up with you in a lonely december when couples are going ice skating and drinking hot chocolate together and staying in cuddling and everything reminds you of him. when the blankets of snow everywhere make you think of his white hair so much so that you start despising winter. thinking about him coming back and apologizing so much that you get frustrated telling him that his apologies mean nothing to you now. thinking about him giving up everything for you, getting down on his knees and begging you to take him back. thinking about how you find him so pathetic now when he used to be your sun.

"It turns out freedom ain't nothin' but missin' you / Wishin' I'd realized what I had when you were mine / I'd go back to December, turn around and make it alright"

thinking about him leaving you and coming back years later to try to repair everything he'd broken after he left. him regretting all the ways he hurt you, every time he heard your hopeless tears and did nothing about them. him constantly showing up in places where you frequent even though he knows you don't want to see him again. imagine going out to get coffee and he's already there, slouched at a table with both your orders. as soon as you walk through the door, he perks up with the biggest puppy dog smile. him constantly trying to make it up to you through small gifts or big gestures just to see you smile at him again. finding excuses to show up to your apartment. one day you mentioned that your kitchen sink was broken and he stayed up all night watching youtube videos so he could come over the next day and help you figure it out. thinking about you smiling hesitantly at him for the first time in forever and he's dumbstruck, falling in love with you all over again like it's the first time you two are meeting.

"And how you held me in your arms that September night / The first time you ever saw me cry"

thinking about him reliving all your memories in his head over and over again, remembering the way you held him after suguru died. the way you watched the strongest sorcerer cry for the first time, falling apart in your arms. thinking about the way he finally realizes you were the one. you always had been but he'd been looking at you with his eyes closed. thinking about all the ways you must have tried to be there for him, hardly even getting a response from him because he was suffering so much that he didn't even see you there. imagine him being lost in his thoughts and just hallucinating about suguru all the time so much that he'd distance himself from the rest of the world. even you couldn't get past his defences though you tried and the way it ended with him leaving you, mostly because of the way his guilt would eat him up. the voices in his head whispering that he'd lose you the same way if he didn't let you go now.