#gosh i need a coffee so bad i was nearly tempted to fall back asleep after i had my breakfast haha

[scottishoctopus]

Can you play us a song, Captain?

"Ah'm already playin' and in the middle of one, howevah Ah'll fulfill yer request once Ah'm finished- uh!" Jones shouts over the incredibly loud and thundering organ music.

[chimchimsauce]

Det Cep Xenu (1)

Det Cep Xenu: noun// fiction// A fictional or otherwise illogical phenomenon that occurs in reality 

Soulmate AU

Chapter One 

The last time Jimin checked, his closet did not look like this. He is fairly certain - at least 99.9% - that his closet contains his and Hobi's clothes, not a bedroom. Especially not a bedroom he’s never been in before. The idol stands in the messy room, confusion furthered by the pure exhaustion weighing heavily on his bones. There had been several interviews today, as well as filming for a Run episode to be released in the coming months for ARMY, He had had fun - he always did - but it was past two AM and all he wants to do is change out of his uncomfortable clothes into soft pajamas.

He isn’t even going to shower even though he knew he would regret it in the morning.

But instead, he finds himself in a messy bedroom, clothes strewn all over the floor. Upon closer inspection, he could tell the articles belong to a girl. He even spots a bra or two laying around, some panties thrown in a pile in the corner.

“What type of dream is this?” He asks himself aloud, convinced he had passed out in the closet and is having some sort of wack dream because of it.

He still feels exhausted.

At the sound of his voice, a lump buried under the sloppy covers groans and shifts, before setting down again.

Jimin sighs, figuring that this was some sort of Oz type dream, where he had to ask the “Characters” here questions or something in order to make his way out of here. He’d had those types of quest-based dreams before but they usually took place in large castles or scary woods, never in bedrooms in desperate need of cleaning.

Deciding to just go with the flow, Jimin practically drags himself over to the bed pressed flush against the cream wall, careful to avoid stepping on anything and - is that old dinner? The idol’s nose wrinkles in disgust.

His dreams are going downhill.

Arriving at the bed, Jimin has to crawl on it, avoiding a couple pair of scissors, a backpack with binders and papers spilling out of it and a pair of dirty sneakers. The room even smelled slightly.

Disgruntled, the tired man pokes the lump harshly, only for it to groan and readjust once more. He then shoves it, putting in as much force as he can in his exhausted state. The lump goes flying over the edge of the crowded mattress and lands with a dull thud on the floor.

“Gosh, I’m up! I'm up! Geez, Mom! You didn’t have to kick me off of the bed!” The lump complains loudly in English before shedding its polka-dotted comforter shell and revealing an exhausted-looking teenage girl.

A foreigner wearing sleep shorts and an oversized t-shirt with a cat riding a rainbow through space while playing the electric guitar on it. She rubs her eyes and yawns as she stands, blinking a few times before opening her eyes completely.

For a moment the two of them simply stare at each other, heavy silence blanketing the room.

“What type of Guardian are you?” Jimin asks, confusion lacing his voice.

She blinks once.

“Jimin?”

“You know my name?” He asks.

The girl blinks at Jimin, clearly not understanding a word he’s saying.

Jimin sighs heavily.

“Why would I have a dream like this? The Guardian doesn't even speak Korean,”

She rubs her eyes again before muttering something under her breath (Y/N, you’re having delusions. Go back to sleep.) and wrapping herself up in the covers and climbing onto the trash heap of a bed.

Jimin is half tempted to lay down there with her, he’s so tired.

After all, it’s only a dream.

But he cannot force himself to slide under the covers with her, no matter how tired he is. The place is so disgusting and -

Jimin’s eyes widen in realization. Maybe this is his quest. Clean this pigsty and he’ll pacify the Guardian enough to either get his next quest or a clue or something.

Extremely reluctantly, the idol starts to clean the room, throwing trash in the garbage can and the clothes in the overflowing hamper. He then begins putting things back where they belong - or at least where he thinks they belong - and tidying things here and there. Straightening the sloppy books on the shelf even going so far as to organize them alphabetically (he knows that much, at least).

An hour or two later, Jimin is certain he’s going to pass out. But at least he’s completed his mission.

Or not. The lump hasn’t moved one fucking centimeter since he began. He decides then and there to thoroughly give up, cracking under his exhaustion and crawling into the now made bed (he had to move Lump girl around a few times to get it that way) and closing his eyes, falling asleep instantly.

When he wakes up next, it is to the worried faces of his members. Jimin sits up with a groan, rubbing at a sore spot on his neck and flinching at the pain that shoots up throughout his nerves,

“Where were you, Jiminie?” Hobi asks, concern evident in his tone.  

It takes the man a moment to process the question.

“What?” He asks, voice hoarse and painful.

A glass of water is shoved his way by the maknae, the boy looking thoroughly upset.

“We couldn’t find you, Jimin. You said you were going to change clothes ad go to bed, but when Namjoon wet to check on you because you were taking so long, you weren’t there. We tore the house apart, but we couldn’t find you. And you left your phone in the kitchen. Where did you go? And then just as we were about to call the managers, we find you passed out on the closet floor. What happened?” Hoseok asks, eyes wide.

Jimin’s head was swimming and he had to hold out his hand, signaling for his concerned brothers to be silent for a bit.

After a minute or two of heavy silence, Jimin’s thoughts are clear enough to answer.

“I - I don’t know. I was just super tired,” The boy says, darting his tongue out over his chapped lips, “I think I just passed out from exhaustion,”

Namjoon frowns, a small crease forming between his brows.

“You need to take better care of yourself, Jiminie,” The leader says, rubbing Jimin’s head affectionately.

Jimin nods.

“I’m sorry for inconveniencing you all,” He says.

The members disregard his apology.

“Just sleep, okay? We have a couple of hours before we have to head into BigHit. Take something and have a nap. We don’t want you passing out again,” Seokjin inputs.

Jimin nods and makes his way to the bathroom to take some medicine under six pair of watchful eyes before diving into his covers, once again falling into deep slumber, his strange dream disappearing from his mind.

When Y/N wakes up, her bedroom is completely spotless. The mess her room had turned into under the stress and exhaustion of school was gone. She blinks a few times to make sure her eyes aren’t tricking her.

They aren’t.

Her room was completely straightened. Even her laundry was clean and folded, put away in the proper spot.

Her mom must have gotten sick of the mess and decided to handle it all on her own.

Y/N doesn’t have time to question it, however, as she realizes with a start that she’s late. Terribly, tremendously late to her part-time job at the local coffee shop.

Cursing loudly, Y/N rushes through her routine, hastily throwing on her uniform and pulling her hair into a sloppy ponytail. She checks the time once more as she tosses her purse into the passenger seat of her car.

2:23 PM. Her shift started at twelve.

After receiving a scolding so bad she nearly burst into tears and being told she had to work an extra shift the next day to make up for her mistakes, Y/N falls into the usual pace of the quaint coffee shop, filling orders and bussing tables. Her shift ends at five and she heads back home to do some studying for a test scheduled for the next Tuesday.

By then, her Mom is home, tapping away at a computer on the living room couch. Y/N heads over to kiss her Mother’s cheek.

“Thank you for straightening up my room, Momma. I really appreciate it,”

Her Mother frowns slightly.

“What are you talking about, Y/N? Your room was clean when I got back from work this morning,”

Her mother is a nurse who works at the local hospital, working graveyard shifts and running two and fro, exhausting herself.

Y/N’s eyebrows draw in together in confusion.

“I didn’t clean it,” She says, voice laced with concern.

“Well, who else did? It’s only the two of us here. You’ve been so tired lately, you probably straightened up late last night and just don’t remember it,”

Y/N sighs, remembering how difficult school has been lately. It seems she has a new test or project every week.

“Yeah, that’s probably what happened,” She says, rubbing her temples slightly, “Anyway, I’m going to study. Call me if you need anything,”

Her Mother nods, clicking once more on her laptop, paying bills. Y/N heads up into her room, tossing her purse on the bed and pulling out her notes, diving into studying, the strange dream she had last night not even crossing her mind.

Chapter Two