#gosh I'm emotionally drained

[unstationarywagon]

I thought I knew Torchwood from watching it with my mom when I was younger. Now it's very obvious to me that she was particular with what she let me watch. There's the raunchy stuff of course that she kept away, but turns out I only saw select episodes of the first two seasons.

I just finished watching Children of Earth.

This season has completely rocked my world in a way that no media has done to me in a long time. I was in deep suspense, I was shocked, outraged. I SOBBED multiple times. Ianto Jones you will always be alive in my heart I will never be the same thank you

[sunnydbeam]

Hey Sunny! I have a few questions for Lore Tipsie, if you don't mind ^^

1. At what point in his life did Tipsie become more arrogant, etc? We know he was emotionally drained when he worked in the circus and then started exploring emotions, but when exactly did this sweet, emotionless robot become the Tipsie we know today and what caused his personality to change so drastically?

2. How long has it been since he escaped from the circus and met the Glamrocks to this day?

3. What is his attitude towards humans?

Thank you!

Gosh, this has been in my ask box for an insane amount of time. I'm so sorry!

Since I'm currently working on a comic related to Tipsie's past, I wouldn't want to spoil too much. But there are a couple of things you all should know:

▪︎ His current personality doesn't have much to do with a traumatic past, in fact. Yes, a lot of bad (but also good) things have happened to him and forged him a bit as a person, but the real cause of the change was the closing of the circus itself. The loneliness, the lack of purpose. He was forced to go out into the world amidst a whirlwind of new emotions, unable to adapt, with no place to go. Total Eclipse can't stand change, his circus life was all he knew, all he was made for. No one told him there could be anything after that. During the shows, he was a character, and later he took refuge in it as a coping mechanism.

He, to this day, is still learning how to feel.

Of course, those who fell in love with him knew or managed to see through the facade.

▪︎ He has been free for 9 years. He met the Glamrocks 6 months later.

▪︎ He never had a good relationship with humans and that got worse in the circus, but still his attitude towards them was polite and indifferent. It wasn't until later that he began to observe how awful people were to robots and how they thought they were superior to machines.

I hope this has answered some of the doubts!

First part of the comic HERE

[itsscromp]

Peter and Miles with a reader who sets up a Christmas for them after the whole symbiote incident? For them to like de-stress and just have fun!

Peter Parker and Miles Morales x reader

Before I start this story, I want to give my thoughts to the insomniac team who unfortunately suffered a data breach and a whole bunch of Wolverine stuff and personal info got leaked. Insomniac don't let these hackers stop you. Take all the damn time that you need, So this story shall also be dedicated to them. Word Count:1K

The first few months since the symbiote incident were physically and emotionally draining for everyone. You and Miles were busy killing off the remainder of the symbiote nests while Peter was busy rebuilding EMF. The three of you were just exhausted from everything.

One night out on patrol to get the last symbiote nests in the area, you noticed it was starting to get chillier than normal. Landing on a nearby street lamp, You noticed that it was starting to snow. "What the ??" You pulled your phone out and found out... It was December 23rd. "Oh shit" Jesus time flies fast when you're dealing with everything that has happened.

Sitting there you thought if Christmas was just around the corner, you decided to celebrate it with the two. Maybe this will help them de-stress and help them smile again. Opening the group chat you then started to text them.

"Hey guys, Any plans tomorrow ??"

"Just about to finish the latest prototype for EMF" Peter responded.

"Ma is helping F.E.A.S.T, so I'm pretty much free" Miles texted back next.

"Ok, so I only just found out about this, Christmas is in two days. So I thought maybe we could do like a dinner and all that" You smiled at the thought of this.

"Wait, It's Christmas ??" Miles responded rather quickly. Peter only responded using the mind-blown emojis.

"So I guess... You guys are both in ??"

They both reacted to the message with thumbs-up emojis, You smiled under the mask. Swinging back to your apartment to prepare for their stay. Fixing out their guest beds and giving the place a quick clean. Now the biggest worry was Christmas presents, You had to figure out what to get them. So grabbing your coat you went out and window-shopped for a little while. Finding something for Miles instantly, He was always ranting about the new video game that he saw about a month ago. Peter was a little tricky cause usually the stuff he talks about have been quickly sold out. But when passing a pawn shop, You found something in the window...

"Oh my gosh... Spider-Plushie... This must be the test one they gave to Peter..." You rushed inside without thinking and bought it.

Now the gifts were done, while also grabbing a few ones that they may like to. You headed back home and hid them for now.

The next day, you decorated the apartment with tinsel and other wall hangings, soon hearing a knock on the door, revealing to be none other than the two.

"You guys !!" You smiled widely and hugged the two. They gratefully returned the hug back.

"Merry Christmas y/n" Peter said softly, ruffling your head.

"Feliz Navidad" (Merry Christmas) Miles smiled as he entered the apartment. "Man, you went all out huh ??" He turned to you.

"Yeah I might have went a little overboard, but I wanted to save the tree for when you guys got here"

"Well then let's not waste any more time" Peter was eager to decorate the tree. Tree decorating was his favourite Christmas activity. So you got the tree and decorations out, But no tree decorating was complete without music. So pressing play on rocking around the Christmas tree, you all got to work.

It was a fun time, just simply relaxing after everything that had happened. Filled with smiles and giggles, Spending Christmas with your best friends was something that you all needed.

Then came the baking of Christmas cookies and Choc peppermint fudge. As the three of you were making the desserts, Peter grew mischievous and dabbed dough onto your nose. "Wha.. hey !!!" You laughed. "What, I didn't do anything" He smirked as he smeared some on Miles' cheek. "Come on Pete !!" He chuckled as well "You both can't prove anything" And then it turned into a light mini food fight.

Soon after, It was dinner time, Now you didn't have time to rush out for ham and such so the best you could do... Christmas grilled cheeses, They weren't complaining though, you all would've done this over a huge dinner. After a fun-filled night, the two trio headed off to bed.

The following morning, Christmas morning, you woke up to feel a pair of arms wrapped around you. Opening your eyes to find it was Peter... softly sleeping... cuddling you. It looked like he really needed something like this. So you snuggled up to him, both of you getting a much-needed sleep in.

After what feels like an hour AKA 20 minutes, Miles then snuck in and flopped on top of you two. "Guys come on it's Christmas !!!" He smiled brightly like any child would on Christmas day.

You chuckled "Alright alright come on" You tried to get up but Peter wanted to stay for at least another ten minutes, gripping you against him a little tighter softly mumbling. "Peter come on" You tried to squirm out but he only gripped harder, Let him have his cuddles y/n !!

"Miles were gonna be here for a while so I guess try and get a little comfortable" You chuckled as you snuggled up to Peter again. Miles sighed and stayed on top of you both, relishing in sharing the cuddles with you both.

After a few minutes, Peter was now officially ready to get up and the three of you headed to the tree. You started to hand their presents. Peter was the first, Shaking the box slightly and soon opening it.

"SPIDER-PLUSHY !!!!. I can't believe you found this y/n" He smiled up at you.

"I have my moments" You smiled as Miles opened his gift next " Yo !! Lies of P !!!" He smiled brightly.

"Last copy too, so thank god I got their on time" You chuckled.

Then Peter pulled out your gift. This one was from both of them. It looked relatively large, Opening it... Inside was a brand spanking new suit... One that looked like Peters's old suit.

"You always complimented my suit... So we figured we decided to get you your own version of it." peter said as he saw the wonder in your eyes.

You put the suit back and hugged them both tightly, They were too much. But they were your too much. This was easily the best Christmas you guys ever had.

Taglist: @callofdudes @fun-k-board

[rachelsshowerthoughts]

Gosh, sorry just had a thought on that previous ask I sent you, sort of a book end,-ish.

Basically, when Ladybug arrives to confront Fable, 'Adrien' checks out.

Adrien: Whether I want to help you milady, my friend or even myself doesn't matter, I'm only here to buoy people's spirits and be passive.

IE, a commentary on how he feels he lacks agency, especially fitting as this is in S2.

Kagami: Whether I want to watch her kill herself by your hand is as irrelevant as to whether I want to be free, treated kindly, or so much as rest. My duty is to play my role.

Chloe (Hysterical) Whether I want to be a hero, to have even one person love me or even as for help doesn't matter, all I know how to be is a monster!

Of course Ladybug wins, the story demands a satisfying conclusion.

When everyone's trying to piece themselves back together, Adrien is checking on Plagg, Kagami is closing off and Chloe is... Scattered.

"I.. We. am. I... Leaving. Leaving now."

Then Ladybug just pulls her into a hug, "You aren't a monster, you're a young girl whose hurting more than she realizes, but I've seen before underneath all that fire is a hero."

Suffice to say Chloe just breaks down sobbing in her arms, but gets it under control by force when she hears Ladybug's earrings beep. "I'm not going not be selfish now of all times."

Before leaving Ladybug says she'll be checking in on the others too.

Kagami: You don't have to-

Ladybug: I'm not getting permission to treat you kindly, and Adrien, you're stronger than you realize, you got this far after all.

(Then she leaps away)

Notes:

Also, it occurred to me that this could actually take place in regular S2, or early S3 without needing Kagami in the same class as them. She just needs to decide she's sick of Chloe's attitude and Adrien's passive attitude after all.

I think I see the Final Confrontation as . . . a bit of an anti-climax? Like. They know how the story goes. They know they are going to be "rescued", that Ladybug is going to win. But also, I feel like their "curses" keep them from doing much, cause part of it is that NONE of these kids really have a lot of agency.

Adrien's vines have drained him so much he can barely move. Kagami's crystal form keeps her rooted to the spot. The one most able to move is Chloé, and I could see her actually fighting HERSELF rather than Ladybug. The Masks would make her fight, but Chloé doesn’t WANT to fight Ladybug, she just wants everything to STOP. So, actually, I see her finally ripping off a Mask, then covering her face so none of the others can attach themselves. All any of them could do is talk.

Chloé: "And so, the hero arrives at last."

Kagami: "And so, the hero arrives to save us from our fate."

Adrien: "And so, the hero arrives to save the damsels in distress!"

Kagami: "To save the prince, who thinks his vines a gift, not a curse."

Chloé: "To save the warrior heir, who sees her crystal form as strength, not a curse."

Adrien: "To save the princess, who has worn masks so long, a curse they've become!"

Ladybug approaches the Writing Desk.

Fable(all three): "Our story is told, our story is written. Our curses are cast, our Savior arrived. So tell us, oh Hero of this Tale - are we villains or victims? Architects of our own misery, or merely locked in its halls? Is the moral a farce, the message unclear? Is Ever After to be joyous or damned? Our story is told, but its ending is not. Are we to be saved, or defeated? Tell us The End."

Ladybug breaks the desk, purifying the Akuma.

Fable, fading: "Ah, a fitting End to our Tale."

Then, after. Well, most people don’t remember what they did as Akuma. This is true for the kids, though they are still affected by what happened in different ways. Adrien is - physically, mentally, emotionally - drained and EXHAUSTED. He wants to eat for three and sleep for a week. Kagami feels stiff, tense, but weirdly wired. She wants to stretch, to run, fence until her muscles ache, she needs to MOVE. And Chloé. Chloé may not remember it clearly, but she just spent the past two hours cycling through every emotion she could possibly have at a rapid, ever-changing pace. She just breaks down in tears because she is so overwhelmed, the tears are her body trying to release that pressure somehow. She is feeling WAY TOO MUCH, she needs the world to STOP for a second so she can find her bearings again. Again, it’s the emotional equivalent of a thirty car pile-up during rush hour traffic on a twenty lane highway. Ladybug hugs her, and Chloé is clinging to a single point as she tries in vain to wrestle her emotions into something she can actually DEAL with.

@tumblingxelian

[borathae]

Okay first of all that’s me right now fyi;

Okay first i’m going to start with the fluff part (I can’t even remember this part actually because of the end but i’ll try🥺)

1-Gosh i’m so happy Yoongi Boongie is the center of their attention he deserves it so so much 🥺🩵 my baby 🩵 And their calm energy made me so soft i want to lay on Yoongi’s or Koo’s tummy and listen their music too gosh

2- Okay before chapter 17 i was like; okay Taetae we can still forgive you maybe that Jimin bitch was manipulating you and we don’t blame u but NOW?? God i’m so angry i’m fuming like bitch what r u doing???

Manipulative much?? And i can’t believe he was rather calm after he learned about Jimin omg i wouldn’t expect this from Taetae (maybe I’m overreacting rn but let me be angry Sibibaby 🥺)

And he almost drained her omg dude don’t u think that she’s under your spell rn and you’re hurting her but she thinks that she likes it??? It maybe started with her consent but you were so so rough and AGAIN you almost drained her!!!!!

3- I’m so happy that Yoongi came god you have no idea 🥺 I don’t know what would they do to her if he didn’t come 😭

4- I LITERALLY cried when he cried omg and that sentence broke me apart; ‘You have my heart in your palms’ ‘Please don’t crush it, i’m begging you’ 😭😭😭😭 Yoongi Boongie you and your woman deserve the world 🥺

5-I hope he won’t distance himself from her emotionally i’m so afraid of this 😭😭😭 Like maybe he’d feel like he did something bad (because he gave his blood to her) 😭😭

6-He still doesn’t know about Jimin incident 😏 Jimin i wouldn’t want to be in your shoes man if you die you’d be lucky cuz Yoongi has no mercy 🥲

7-Since Jungkook and oc officially dating i’m so curious about Koo’s reaction too you know both Jimin incident and Taehyung incident (You know since Koo and Tae were a thing…and now Tae almost drained his girlfriend ((like hell they’re officially dating for 1 day))…I wouldn’t want to be in Tae’s shoes too)

8- And oh i have a question; Did Yoongi notice that she doesn’t wear her ring?

Sibibaby I can’t wait for Saturday omg you have no idea i’m gonna die from excitement 🥺🥺🥺🩵🩵

THAT MEME WAS ME AFTER I FINISHED THE CHAPTER HAFDSFHADSH

Yoongi being happy is all I fucking live for!! He deserves to be happy and I'm gonna break apart :( also their calm energy feels so comforting, it's like three people who find comfort through each other and now don't need a lot more than to exist in the same room to be happy already :(

I LIKE THAT YOU POINT THIS OUT thank you so much for pointingt his out! This part made me go "uhm tae?" too like why is that your first reaction? hello??

YOONGI IS HER SAVIOUR ONCE AGAIN I FUCKING LOVE HER

HIS BROKEN BEGS HURT ME SO MUCH 😭😭

listEN WHY CAN I ACTUALLY SEE HIM DISTANCING HIMSELF?? NOOOO

brooror the day he finds out, it's all over for us bitches

THIS! but also omfg? protective 2seok?? hello?? help?? omfg??

I can't say yet 👀😶

I LOVE SCREAMING WITH YOU YOU ARE THE BEST HEHEHEHEH

[finyx7733]

06/13/24

Affirmations: I am worthy of love I am capable of great things I am not a burden I am made of stardust and magick

How do I feel physically today? Physically I am feeling okay, my body is a little stiff and sore but other than that things are good. I am feeling anxious today but nothing like I was yesterday. Hopefully, I can pull myself out of this funk and do the things I need to do today.

Am I intellectually stimulated? Intellectually I have been doing a lot of research and I think I've burnt myself out. Today I'm taking a break and just doing things that spark joy.

How do I feel emotionally today? Emotionally I am feeling depressed and anxious. I feel like I can't do anything right and I just want to cry. My anxiety is at a 6 today.

How do I feel spiritually today? I am going to meditate today and see if that can ground me and make me feel a little better. My spirit feels drained and tired.

Yesterday was a hard day for me, I couldn't even bring myself to journal. I was depersonalizing very badly, I didn't feel like a human and my emotions and feelings weren't my own. I did manage to get my chore for the day finished but that was after I slept most of the day. I don't know, I feel like a failure, like I can't do anything right and I know that's not the case. I've been doing really good following my schedule and doing my chores. Keeping the downstairs neat and clean so Mimi doesn't have to worry about it when she has her days off.

Today I feel more like a person, but I'm still depersonalizing. It's the oddest sensation, my entire body is numb and my arms look like plastic doll arms, the person in the mirror doesn't look like me and part of me thinks she is plotting against me. I know that doesn't make sense, that it is just my bipolar making me paranoid but the thought did cross my mind. When I get like this, I usually avoid the mirror and things that make me feel off…but when your body isn't your body everything feels off.

I have decided I am only doing things that spark joy, so I'm going to make a nice cup of tea, maybe sit on the porch and enjoy nature for a little bit, smoke some weed, and just talk to some friends. I do have to clean the closet today but other than that the chores on my list are minimal and are things I can do during the day. They are simple things like "make the bed" and "take my medication," little reminders for my physical and mental health.

I haven't been doing any movement, I found videos on YouTube but I've yet to actually do them. I haven't been writing down my food either…I need to start doing that. I need to fill my days with productive things, otherwise, I just sleep and that isn't good for me.

I dont know what my problem is… it's not like I have obligations holding me back, I need to make my health a priority. Not only my mental health but my physical health as well. I am overweight 273 pounds and I want to be able to do things that I can't with the way my weight is. I want to go horseback riding and ziplining but I can't do these things the way I am now. I want to go to an amusement part and be able to ride every ride there and not worry if my ass is going to fit into the ride. I know losing weight isn't going to fix my mental health and it's not going to magically make me happy but gosh it could improve my way of life so much.

This isnt just a journey to look better or fit into a smaller size, this is a journey of self-love. I want to love myself no matter what size I am, I am beautiful and there is nothing wrong with the way I look even if society deems me to be "ugly" I am anything but.

I managed to do the closet but I don't have much drive to do much else. Maybe I'll wash my bedding, that might make me feel nice sleeping in a nice clean bed. That sounds like a nice idea maybe I'll wait until papa goes down to Matt and Marie's. I don't like to be in the way and I feel like if I'm doing laundry and he is watching TV I will be in his way. I try to keep to myself as much as possible. I don't like to be a bother to people and he is already helping me out so much.

I just dont like feeling like a burden, but Mimi says I'm not a burden because she chooses to help me and she knows what she is getting into. It's not a burden if people love you and want to help you. Words like that bring me comfort and it makes me feel loved. I have felt such kindness and compassion ever since I moved here, this place truly feels like home

<3 Fi

[calicofaery]

Gosh this is something I've been struggling with lately too. And I honestly think it's an autism/ADHD/ND thing - because we don't like seeing people being mean, or there being an injustice that can be fixed instead of ignored; we're more direct in communication because we've experienced what happens when there's miscommunication between us and others.

I'm someone who calls people out on their bullshit when I see it, because when I've ignored it in the past I've felt emotionally drained and like I was being walked all over or used as their personal venting ground for their trash beliefs. So now I'd rather cause the other person discomfort in that moment & challenge them instead of me being the one feeling discomfort for staying silent. Is this the right thing to do? Hell if I know, I just know now that the people in my life are there because they respect that I won't keep my mouth shut if they're being shitheads and I respect them if they return the behaviour.

I guess I opted for the "rock the boat" approach 🤷‍♀️ Has it caused people to get mad at me? Yup. Are they no longer a part of my life? Yup. Do I care? Nope - cause them not being a part of my life means I don't have to pretend to not care anymore about their shitty selfish views and them trying to rope me into agreeing with them.

Okay so I have therapy later so I'm thinking about things my therapist has said and one thing I'm actually stuck on is "You can just have casual friends you hang out with sometimes for fun. You don't have to like everything they do and you don't have to agree with their choices, they can just be sometimes-have-drinks friends" and like???

I can TOTALLY get along with people I don't 100% agree with! I can ABSOLUTELY be friendly and have a nice afternoon with people I don't especially like! But like??? If I don't trust and respect them, wht would I call them my friend??

The conversation started as, like. "I only have three or four people in my life and I want to expand my bubble a little, but I've been told I have high standards- My standards are just, "people I like being around, who I admire and respect and don't treat me badly"- so how do I lower that standard without putting myself at risk? SHOULD I lower that standard? Or is it better to be a bit lonely, rather than allow for the chance of negativity and discomfort?"

And it feels like her solution to that was just, "expand your definition of friendship".

But like. How??

A friend is someone who I'd trust alone in my home. A friend is someone I want to do unpleasant chores for. A friend is someone who could have a spare key and my phone number and takes turns venting and sharing dirty secrets and asking for help and advice.

And the things I "don't approve of"- things like lying, cheating, dumping work on others, being catty and passive-agressive and not communicating... I can get along with people like that, but I dont consider them friends, because I don't trust that they wouldn't do it to me, and I don't like that they do it to others, and it's exhausting to confront people about their behaviors even if you DO already like them.

But I should hang out with people like this socially, and call them friends, and invite them into my life? Just to get out of the house? What happens if they want to come over? How could I say, "No, I'm scared of getting closer to you"? Or, "No, I don't want you to get closer to me"? Or, "No, I don't actually find you entirely pleasant, and it's not at all your fault, but let's keep this casual"?

That doesn't seem very nice, or very fair. But feelings aren't fair, are they?

Is this an Autism thing? Is it a Trauma thing? Narcissism? A misunderstanding? A delusion? Or something else?

Is everybody constantly trapped in the choice between Comfortably Lonely or Exhausted with Company?

How is anyone supposed to choose?

[yuriyuruandyuraart]

woah woah woah yuri you're still alive????

haha what happened you may ask??? well, life just gave me hell and decided that today. TODAY, was gonna top it off with the biggest disaster so far!!!!!

i literally just wanted to have ONE day off after my bday, but the next morning my computer wouldn't work! which was fantastic because literally every single one of my wips/ finished not posted works/ digital art was on there so i stressed. the FUCK. out

it's fixed now ofc and THANKFULLY nothing was lost except the artworks that weren't autosaved that day! (which- yknow, sucks, but there was worse at stake before :'D) after me bEGGING my dad to help me with the problem

except it's NOT OVER yet!!!!

sai's settings and brushes reseted for some reason and my absolute fav custom brushes were gone! so with me trying to recreate them then loosing them all over because they just wouldn't be SAVED OMG and me going for a trip to my uncle's small town and watching the leftover day offs i had dwindle so goshdarn fast i was feeling so sO drained-

and wanna know the funniest thing??? when i come back home ready to post art and FINALLY rant about this what happens?? no wifi :DDDD

prioritizing the water and electricity bills first, i got to work and drew everyday to make it up for you guys and look at that! i have good and horrible news!

so SURPRISE! since you guys have been SO patient with me (thank you all :'D), i will say that i have a LOT of finished works to post! all ranging from 1 animated gif, 9 artworks, 1 illustration that's part of a little prompt idea i came up with (1 done and 4 left)

technically, i have 2 pieces finished and 3 wips for the remaining days of fnk week and 2 new ocs!!!! (and redraws of 4 older ocs, 2 of which are ready to post)

as for the worse news... man. i'm barely hanging here but woo i broke my tablet's pen and it's charging wire!! (i literally don't know how but it got separated from it's body while it was in it and i can't i can't even)

i am so so broken right now- i was so happy to update yesterday and reblog stuff since i finally got wifi again and- man it feels like i'm making this shit up but oh my god i wanna cry

i guess i could post everything i had the chance to draw before but gosh i'm so sorry but i can't promise more art after i announce which one was the last in stock- (at least until i get enough money to buy a replacement for them both)

i know i suck at communicating if i'm alive and just having a hard time but i swear this year was really rough on me and my health in general so i hope you guys can understand :'(

[romanoffsbish]

Chapter 23: Truth’s Out

Chapter 22 | Masterlist | Chapter 24 | Words 1,394

After a few hours, I hear the door open again, and by the sounds of the steps I can tell it's my favorite witch.

*I'm the only witch you know*

*Doesn't diminish your status as my favorite*

I slowly open my eyes, and am met with her disheveled state. She's clearly been crying and she has yet to clean any of the debris from the bombings off of herself yet.

"Oh Wands, come here." I gently whisper, opening my available arm up to her, catching her as she gently crashes into me.

"What's wrong?" I question, clueless to why she's so heartbroken

"We-e saw everything Y/N/N..." Wanda whimpers.

"It's okay Wands, I got out in time. I'm right here, we're all okay." I try to comfort her.

"No... We saw all your memories, showing us the initial memory drained you, so you fell asleep—trapping us in with you. We felt everything you were feeling."

"Wha-at?? So, he knows everything then?! Oh gosh.."

"Yeah.. But that's the least of my worries. Y/N, it was horrible, absolutely heart wrenching. You deserved so much better."

"It brought back memories for you didn't it? I'm so sorry Wands, I didn't mean to bring up any of your previous traumas. I just wanted to calm Steve down for the sake of your guy's peace. You know, you deserved better too."

"No." She angrily rebuts.

"Yes, you most certainly did." I growl out.

"I volunteered for that, you didn't. I-I."

I gently cup her face with my right hand, and guide her head down to my chest, with her facing away from Natasha. I gently run my fingers through her hair, as I hear the slightest of whimpers, and I feel fresh hot tears seeping through my shirt.

"Shh... Listen, you were taken in by an organization that preys on the emotionally vulnerable. They capitalized on your grief, and it doesn't matter if you volunteered or not. They fueled your valid rage, with empty promises. In the end, when you were faced with a choice, you chose the right side. You didn't let their hate rule you, because at the end of the day Wands, you're a good person. So when I say you deserved better I mean it. You've been through so much in your lifetime, that most people wouldn't ever scratch the surface of experiencing. I'm sorry for trapping you in with me, and for bringing all of you along for the traumatic memories. I wouldn't wish that relived pain on anyone."

She pulls back from my hold, and cups my cheeks, sending me a sad smile. She then leans down and presses a quick kiss to my forehead.

"You're just too good for the world darling, you always know just what to say to fix things."

Then as I go to speak, we're interrupted by my stomach rumbling obnoxiously loud.

My eyes widen at the sound, as Natasha begins to stir awake, and Wanda bursts out laughing.

"Detka, was that you?" Natasha sleepily mumbles, slightly opening one eye to take in her surroundings.

"It appears it was." I laugh out, then placing an apologetic kiss to Natasha's temple.

"I'll go make us all some dinner." Wanda sweetly announces, lightly patting my cheek, then exiting.

*I'm going to get you a bed!!*

*Good, I don't want to go back to the compound alone*

*I figured. I got you bestie. Thanks for saving me*

*Don't you dare thank me, I'd do just about anything for you... Now, I'm going to clean myself up and then I need to focus on the paprikash.*

*Mmm. Paprikash*

"How are you feeling moya lyubov?" Natasha questions as she somehow snuggles closer to me.

"Natty, I'm so sorry." I blurt out, completely disregarding the question.

She immediately props herself up on her elbow, and looks down at me with a worried expression.

"What for?" She quietly questions me, guiding me by my chin to look at her.

"Everything... Wands told me what happened.. I didn't mean to bring you guys into my mind. I'm sorry for scaring you earlier. I'm so sorry for mixing you up in my mess. I'm just sorry." I croak out, finally letting some tears fall.

"O, moya milaya devochka, there will be none of that." She coos, wiping away my tears as they fall, and smiling gently.

(Oh, my sweet girl)

"You didn't bring me into anything, I am a willing participant here. You don't have to apologize for what you couldn't control. As for me being scared, it's just part of our job, I just have to get used to that." She sighs out, laying back down to snuggle into me again.

"I promise you that no matter what, I will always fight my hardest to get back to you." I vow, wrapping my arm around her, and holding her close.

"I see the way you fight, so I have faith in that. I also promise you that I will do the same."

As we settle into a bit of silence, the door opens slowly and Maria and Fury walk in pushing in a smaller bed.

"Where have you been?" I question with a slight pout

"Cleaning up your messes, like always." Maria jokes, leaning down to kiss my cheek.

"Whatever, you love me anyways."

"Do I though?" She questions with a quirked brow.

"Cyka.." I mumble, causing Natasha to giggle and lightly slap my chest.

"I might not speak Russian, but I've known Romanoff long enough to know you just called me a bitch." She laughs out, with a faux annoyed expression on her face.

"Wasn't mean to be a secret." I playfully roll my eyes.

"So, Nick, long time no see. Pick up any stray lesbians in need of fatherly love as of late? I can recommend a great gay bar for you if you need a place to scout for any." I playfully question the man, receiving a glare in return, but I don't miss the slight smirk that accompanies it.

"No, I have my hands full with all of you." He smugly retorts back.

"Hey, Natasha's Bi, don't just erase her."

"Stark, don't test my patience." He groans, while slowly running his hands down his face.

"Don't be mean to me, I got a boo boo because your 'special' teams full of meanies." I pout

"Rogers is being taken care of. How are you feeling?!" He questions calmly, but I can see the hurt.

"I'm fine, sir. Rogers was well within his rights to be concerned. Strucker played a good game, so just let it be."

"In your dreams." Maria mumbles.

"Not a chance." Fury asserts.

"I'm with them." Natasha adds.

"Jesus, let Captain stick up his ass live another day." I laugh out, but then quickly stop as I feel a pain in my abdomen.

"Fine? Hill, go get a nurse." Fury asserts

"Tell them their miracle drugs wore off." I pout, and she giggles as she exits.

Natasha climbs out of the bed to allow the nurse's the space to do whatever they need. She exits the room for a brief moment to talk with Fury and Hill.

Fury nods at me from the door to announce his departure.

"I'll see you tomorrow Y/N/N." Maria announces from the door, blowing me a kiss, then flipping me off in the same instance. Then takes off after Fury.

Natasha seems to have gone somewhere, so I lie there just staring up at the ceiling. Wondering what the hell's going to become of compound life now that everyone knows...

The trail of thoughts doesn't last long as the door opens, revealing a freshly showered Natasha assisting Wanda with bringing in dinner.

"Look, it's my girls, and they're actually clean this time." I giggle out.

"Bite me." Wanda replies back.

"That's the robots job." I joke back, receiving an eye roll in reply as she sets the bowls down.

I go to sit up, but Wanda holds me down with her powers, and Natasha glares at me.

"Stay still, we got you detka." Natasha replies, using the remote to sit me up.

We all sit in comfortable silence, enjoying the food, and eventually falling into a free flowing conversation.

Taglist:

@simpforflorencepugh1 @ali-lie

[parchmentedpetrichor]

➳the girl in the lilac dress ♠ ♡

in which y/n meets fred's ex-girlfriend, days after fred confessed his love for her. there's still some confusion on the status of their relationship. angst -> fluff. narrated by you, y/n l/n.

fred weasley x fem!reader

word count: ±5.4k

tw: angst (not too bad though), mean words, blood, mentions of auror missions, kidnapping, needles, st mungo's

drop a follow if you wanna see more of this content!!

my masterlist:D

ft. hermione, lee and alicia

I don't wanna look at anything else now that I saw you

I don't wanna think of anything else now that I thought of you

the girl in the lilac dress

i was in a good mood. on the way to work to receive my mission, i was humming a song that had just come out. it was catchy and worth the wait.

out of the corner of my eye, a lilac colour appeared suddenly. strange, i thought. it approached me, in the form of a beautiful woman. she had the lightest grey eyes and the smoothest milky-white skin, and the shiniest locks of dark brown hair. she walked in a flowy lilac gown, her slim model-like body walking in a model-like fashion.

i was pretty sure she wasn't headed towards me, but when her luxurious voice said "good morning" in the calmest tone possible to me, i looked at her confusedly.

"hi!" i replied brightly, smiling.

she smiled sinisterly, "my name is pretoria aphrodite, i'm fred's ex-girlfriend."

he hadn't ever mentioned an ex, but i knew he had dated quite a few people. she made me seem like a glass of water next to a glass of red wine, naive and ugly. i was those two things anyway.

"oh! i'm y/n l/n! nice to meet you, you do seem like a daughter of aphrodite," i said politely.

"darling, all women are daughters of aphrodite. i understand fred's interested in you?"

she observed me and i laughed.

"i don't think that's quite the word. he's my best friend."

"friends with benefits?"

"oh gosh no! i don't really know where we stand, honestly."

"bitter about it?"

i thought for a second, "nah, i couldn't be. love's a hard thing."

"it is, indeed, and you work for the ministry?"

i nodded, "head of the auror office. what about you?"

"i model for witch weekly."

i gasped, "you're the p. aphrodite? i should've known!"

"big fan?" she looked amusedly at me.

"my friends are, so naturally i am."

"you don't seem the type fred usually goes for."

"i wouldn't say he's even going for me," i said cautiously.

"you are much too cutesie for his type."

i glanced up at her. she was smiling kindly.

"pfft, but better cutesie than nothing, amirite?" i asked friendlily, "well it's been nice to talk with you, but i gotta hurry!"

"no worries, i'll come with you, i have some business at the ministry too. have you seen his past exes?"

"uhh, not really?"

"well they're all models for one magazine or another."

"oh, okay. and that's important because...?" i asked her carefully.

"i just thought you should know."

i laughed, "i'm not model material, am i? i don't mind at all."

she looks taken aback. "i would say, with longer hair," she plucked a hair out of my poor mess of locks, "and a shorter upper body, with perhaps lip fillers, you'd look model-like."

her tone was analysing and not at all attacking.

"only three things??" i asked, shocked.

"you are rather... pretty already," she mused, "not model-like, but cute."

we had reached the ministry.

"thanks, see you later!" she waved and disappeared.

all that was left was a buzzing fly which soon flew away.

i immediately dialled in my auror code in the red telephone box and was sent into hermione granger's office.

"'mione! how good to see you!" i hugged her.

"hello y/n!"

in the ministry and the auror department, the head of the auror office was probably more important than the minister for magic. i didn't know why. she had brought me a cup of hot chocolate.

"thanks, 'mione, you didn't need to. what's the mission today?"

"two babies are being held hostage in a coded location by a person who calls themselves the light lord. dark lord, light lord, y'know?" she handed me a coded piece of parchment.

i thoughtfully pondered, "the light lord. who do you need?"

"i was hoping you go on this mission, then you could give me some news on this light lord person."

"that's doable. we'll need to bring in hepole and a ministry official to negotiate passports and such. and a strong auror team."

"right on it. i'll get wally becker and charlotte-ann becker. they're a force to be reckoned with on the borders."

"how much experience?"

"they're twins, been doing this for about fifty years now."

"perfect. and hepole?"

"on the way."

"thanks, minister," i winked at her, getting out my telephone and dialling the disguise unit.

"hello, poplinn speaking."

"pop, we need a few disguises. light lord."

"miss l/n! o-of course!"

"and pop?"

"y-yeah?"

"call me y/n."

i hung up, dialling harry's office.

"harry, call draco and be in my office in ten minutes. i don't care what business he's doing with scorpius, we've got babysitters here. light lord, perhaps a second of voldemort."

"of course."

i picked up the ringing phone that was in the corner of hermione's office.

"y/n, me and scorpy are having a zoo day, we're at the muggle zoo you suggested."

"sorry dray, but it's important."

"there's no one else?"

"there are others, but we need your expertise."

there was a pause, "i won't need to show my dark mark?"

"it's fading anyway. no."

"i'll be paid?"

"in hundreds."

"how old are the children?"

"2 and 4," hermione said.

the silence told me he was sold.

"i'll be there."

i picked up the big microphone and said, "auror unit 156 to the brief room. no need to bring anything. see you there!"

"good luck," hermione grimly said, "be safe, head."

"mhm and cup o' coffee tomorrow? if i survive, that is," i grinned.

"'course."

i smiled, "c'ya!"

she was shaking her head.

"oi, no disappointment, 'mione! i was the one who got the ministry out of paperwork!"

"burning paper doesn't count, y/n."

"it wasn't burning paper, hermione granger, it was arson."

"no, it was the saddest form of arson i've ever seen."

"hey! that's rude."

"just go on your mission already."

i laughed, "on it, minister. kalle?"

kalle looked at me, "yes?"

"tell miss minister to take a break and play a game or something, will you?"

she smiled, "okay."

"give my thanks to your mother too, loved the cookies!"

"alright, good luck, head!"

"thanks, bye!"

i apparated to the brief room, where everyone was strapped into special camouflage clothes.

i handed hepole the parchment and immediately began briefing the unit, harry and draco, on the mission.

"please be safe out there. if you're injured, apparate or travel back here, okay?"

i looked at hepole.

he cleared his throat, "they're in albania. the forest there."

"okay. harry and draco will provide attacking forces," the two nodded.

"i want lopex, quentin blake, quentin grill and hilly to break into any establishment," i say to the team, "and eron, hawks, melv, argonas to hold the offender hostage. johnathan, team healer as always. i'll take the children. hepole, you come and accompany us till the forest, then you have my permission to stay back, and beckers, stay invisible with the cloak, write a report for the minister when you come back, understand? have faith, team! i believe in you. we travel by apparition with the machine in three minutes. call your family, chat, have a snack, drink some water, and relax."

i picked up my telephone and dialled my parents.

"hi mum, dad, i'm going on a mission!"

"alright, be safe sweetie," my mum called.

"yeah, don't die kiddo," my dad added.

"right right, i love you, bye!"

the mission was successful. we rescued the children and sent the kidnapper to trial for azkaban. i escaped with a gash on my forearm, but quickly fixed it up with a spell. it ended late in the evening, so the team healer had gone home. the wound kept opening again, but i wasn't sure if it needed stitches.

putting everything away and making sure the aurors were okay, i headed back to the apartment i shared with fred.

i felt emotionally and physically drained, ready to enjoy a good shower and a good late dinner.

when i fiddled with the key to the door and opened it, my heart absolutely stopped.

pretoria aphrodite was kissing fred passionately. i felt my heart fall ten thousand flights of stairs in disappointment. of course. i was all a rebound who was pathetically in love with him.

when they stopped and saw me, pretoria smirked and fred stood up, astounded.

"uhh, continue? sorry," i apologised awkwardly.

"wait, y/n, it's not what it looks like-" he said.

"i don't mind, be safe," i smiled, too tired and too weak to do anything, closing the door and feeling tears well up in my eyes as i took my bag and myself somewhere. anywhere away from this all. my wound burned. i cursed under my breath as i made my way to st mungo's.

"y/n, you should have come here earlier!" yvonne, my friend, says, as she slowly injects a needle into me, "it's infected! and it needs stitches."

i laughed, "everything needs stitches. this is why i didn't become a healer, yvonne."

she shook her head in dismay.

"lol."

i watched the needle go in.

then she stitched the bloody mess of a wound up, cleaning it gently.

"now i can't stay, y/n," i pouted, "no, don't give me that face, i have other patients."

i nodded, "thanks yvonne."

"no problems. take care. you're too reckless."

"am not!"

she laughed. "that's funny."

after the trip to st mungo's which was pretty short, i wondered what to do. my mind kept floating to the scene i had just witnessed.

i was just the stupid, stupid, girl he used as a rebound. he didn't even use me as a real rebound, just someone who was simply infatuated with him to help him forget his unforgettable ex.

looking at a shop window, i caught a glimpse of myself. i hated being insecure but it happened.

i looked ugly. eyes too small, nose too big, lips not full enough. my thighs touched and i didn't have abs. i had a long gash running down my forearm, surrounded by other cuts. my hair was messy and disgusting. compared to the angel on earth pretoria was, i was nothing. small and plain was nothing when luxurious and beautiful was present.

and it hurt. my heart hurt. my head hurt.

i shook my head gently of my thoughts, chuckling bitterly.

fred weasley was completely and utterly out of my league.

whatevs, i thought. hurting was fine.

deciding to get over him once and for all, i bought some groceries and apparated to the doorstep of lee and alicia's glamorous cottage.

i knocked twice on the door. "hellooo!" i called out.

"baby, can you get that?" lee asked alicia.

alicia opened the door, smiling as she saw me.

"hey ali!"

"hi! come in!"

at first glance i could tell she knew something wrong.

"can i sleep here tonight? and take a shower? and eat some of your food please guys? and maybe steal a shirt i left here for safekeep? and maybe use your telephone? i'm really sorry for troubling you, so i got you guys snacks."

i was the second cousin by marriage of lee. it was good overall, but he was super naughty.

"snacks?"

"your favourites."

"then i guess you can," he said cheekily and i laughed.

"alicia, i don't know how or why you ended up with this child, but i'm glad you did," i told her and she laughed heartily.

"he's cute, isn't he?"

"no," i quickly stepped into the guest bedroom and took a long shower, letting a few tears slip but not enough so that it looked like it. i was subtle.

i bundled up in heavy clothing and wrapped my hair in a towel.

gingerly, i bandaged the wound.

by the snores in the other room, lee was asleep. i crept out quietly, going to cook something.

alicia was sitting down, with my favourite comfort meal prepared. i felt tears of appreciation well up in my eyes.

"thank you, ali, i love you."

"you damn well do."

we both giggled.

"what happened?" she asked me.

"nothing. i just wanted a change."

"from fred? liar. i'll ask again. what happened, y/n?"

"just a long mission, that's all."

"after long missions you usually watch movies with fred."

"couldn't i visit my best friend and my cuz?"

"you visit us on weekends. it's a friday."

"well i wanted to visit you!"

"bullshit."

"is it that hard to believe?"

"what the fuck did fred do to you?"

"nothin'?"

"c'mon y/n, you have to tell me. there's a reason why you didn't go to angie and george's tonight."

"i went here because they're super kissy. you guys have space and act normally. i appreciate that."

"you're awesome at lying."

"i'm not lying!"

"does this happen to involve pretoria aphrodite?"

i nodded, sighing, "she's so nice and pretty." i played with my food.

"i bumped into her. she's pretty, but not nice."

"oh?"

"she called me fiercely ugly. she forgot i model for witch weekly too."

"what did you say back?"

"i told her to fuck off."

i laughed, "she was very nice to me. but next time i see her imma kill her."

"of course she was nice to you, you're a lil angel! anyway, she's an animagus, didya know?"

"whoa how did you know?"

"caught her in a jar. she's a fly. who do you think told hermione to catch rita skeeter in the jar?"

i laughed, "rita skeeter is a beetle! gosh, she's annoying."

"what did fred and pretoria do?"

"nothing."

"please tell me?"

"they-" i swallowed, "they were kissing, and so i came here because i didn't wanna watch anymore."

"hang on, he told you he loved you a few days ago?"

i nodded.

"that doesn't seem right."

i shrugged, "pretoria's better than me. i don't blame him."

"his mother would kill him!"

i shrugged again, "i don't think he was legit when he said that."

"molly weasley, y/n!"

"look, he can explain it to you, i don't even wanna hear it. the first stage of mourning is denial, they say."

"doesn't mean it's good."

"denial is awesome. it's ignorance, but you choose to be stupid. i'm already so stupid!" i groaned, covering my face with my hands, "so so so so so so so stupid, foolish, dumb, and i don't want you to tell me i'm not because i know i am. pathetic."

i gobbled down the rest of the meal, "ths 's delicous," i said, swallowing, "g'night!"

"don't be afraid to let it all out."

"yeah."

i shut the door softly, before brushing my teeth and collapsing exhaustedly on the bed, nodding off quickly.

the next day, i woke at 4am, and put on new clothes, apparating to the phone box and filling out paperwork for the missions yesterday.

i joined hermione quickly, handing her a cappucino and sipping my mocha.

"court sitting this early?" she asked me.

i nodded, "mistake of sirius black, now they do all court sittings within 24 hours of arrest."

"that's smart."

"yeah. it's good. he's obviously guilty right? just a dust of veritaserum to bring it all out?"

"i reckon he'll just confess."

"criminals don't go down easily."

"you guys did a spotting job. the children were unharmed."

"are they here today?"

"they're in st mungo's. being monitored."

"parents?"

"dead."

"oh gosh, those poor children. what's going to happen to them?"

"someone's adopting them, wally becker and his wife."

"that's awesome."

the court hushed as we entered the room. hermione and i shared amused glances and began the sitting.

he was found to be guilty and was chucked in azkaban.

"what an idiot, sending a message like that."

"yup," i chuckled, "what with hepole in our ministry, they never escape."

we laughed.

"how's everything with ron?" i asked her.

"i don't know if he's still into me?"

i almost laugh at her statement, "bro. of course he is."

"i never see him."

"then see him more!"

"how? i'm so busy!"

"busy enough for ron?" we both took sandwiches from the canteen lady with courteous smiles and words.

we sat down at the cafeteria.

"i guess not, but he's busy!"

"busy enough for you?"

"i guess not."

"'xactly."

"but he might not wanna go on a date."

"why? the boy's obsessed with you, 'mione!"

the aurors and ministry workers looked at us in fear as i rose up. i chuckled.

i immediately skipped over to the telephone, putting in the WWW's number.

"y/n! what on earth are you doing?" hermione said in a panicked tone.

"nothing to be worried 'bout."

"hello?" it was george. i thanked the heavens for that.

"yolo george, give the phone to your lil bro please."

"'kay."

hermione was gaping at me. i smirked at her.

"y/n?"

"hey ron, i want you to meet me in rosemary park at 5pm today."

"o-okay."

"could you also bring hermione's favourite snacks and wear an extra jumper?"

"what? why?"

"i'm curious, that's all," i said, "see you there!"

"is that y/n?" i heard fred's voice.

"nup, it isn't," i replied.

and with that, i hung up.

"hey 'mione?"

she was glaring at me, "what."

"meet me at rosemary park at 5pm?" i batted my eyelashes at her, before bursting out in laughter.

she laughed, "i love you."

"pfft, love ya too. you really are too careful. like he would reject you."

"what do you think i should wear?"

"let's go off work early today, at 3," i suggested, "we're both on top of our work anyway."

"okay! you wanna go now?"

"it's 11?"

"yeah!"

"alrighty! kalle!"

kalle turned to us, "yes?"

"hi! me and minister are going out to talk about the mission."

"alright, bye."

we apparate to hogsmeade.

"what theme do you wanna go for?"

"hmm," she thought for a second, "floral!"

"alrighty!" i fumbled for my cell phone and dialled the WWW's again.

"hello?" it was fred this time.

"heyo freddie," i said to him like nothing had ever happened, "tell ron to dress up at 5 pm in something cute but not too out there, preferably in florals or somethin', and he better bring me hermione's favourite flowers."

"wha? if he's going with you then- ohhhh."

"thanks, bye."

"wait!"

"mhm?"

"can we talk?"

"erm- about what exactly?"

"everything."

i sighed, "later, okay? i'm out with hermione and you've got work."

"okay. have a good time, lovely."

"you too."

i was utterly confused. here he was one day kissing pretoria, and now he was calling me lovely?

what the hell was going on?

"let's go, mione!"

we went and bought her a pretty pink dress with white lilies adorning it. it was cute and definitely casual, sort of like a sundress.

"what if he doesn't come?" hermione chewed on her lip.

"hermione jean granger, we both know that ron is absolutely definitely a thousand times head over heels in love with you. he wouldn't ditch you for the world! and look at you! anyone can see he's lucky to have you! you both are star-crossed. when has he ever ever ditched you?"

"with lav brown."

"lavender, she's, she's dead, hermione," i said carefully, "fenrir greyback bit her to death. it was a tragic, heroic, death. she was listed in the extended casualties sent to my office a few months after the battle. i think she's watching down on us from wherever she is up there."

"she's dead?"

"yeah," i replied sadly, "life is so short."

"yeah."

"what i'm tryna say, is that that might've happened, but it won't happen again now that he knows you love him and he loves you. understand?"

"yeah."

"and love him well, for the sake of lavender brown."

"for the sake of lavender brown," she said, smiling.

"yup, now, light lord. his name is actually pont knight."

"pont knight?"

"former assistant of me."

"pont knight?"

"yeah, i know right."

"how did he go again?"

"oh, i fired him," i laughed.

"why?"

"smart guy but terribly lazy and he kept asking for promotions! like please do something if you want money."

"interesting."

"he moved to eastern europe to chase after the trendiness of the islands. i think it was just an excuse. he's changed. he used to be clean-shaven and have the blondest hair."

"do you think he did anything else?"

"we did put him on veritaserum, right?"

"yeah, but it's illegal to put someone on it for more than 10 minutes now in court sittings."

"we could go visit him in azkaban later? i'll take gregir."

"yeah, maybe tomorrow or the day after?"

i nodded, "'course. today is a rest day for the aurors right?"

she nodded, "yeah, half of the agency is at home or working out in the gym."

"good. sometimes this work is so tolling, 'mione."

"yeah, i heard from st mungo's you got hurt?" her eyes were concerned.

i rolled up my sleeve, "that's it."

"that's it? what do you mean, that's terrible! you need to take better care of yourself."

"well sometimes it's hard to. it was worth it."

we continued chatting until it was 4:30.

"oop!" she checked her watch, "i have to go!"

"good luck! tell me how it goes, minister! i'll head back to check if anyone's called for you or me and dust it all up."

"thanks. i owe you."

"nah. i owe my job to you. if minister for magic didn't exist, i wouldn't either. i love you 'mione, be safe!"

"love you too!"

i apparated to the phone box and typed my letters in.

with a whoosh, i immediately spotted two letters and a beeping phone. i answered the phone, solving the problem of the woman on the other end of the line and scribbled a reply to both of the letters.

i finished the paperwork and sent it off, then visited my office. it was piling with letters. i answered all of them, redirecting some of them to different departments, before calling everyone back.

i spotted some of the aurors from yesterday's mission sitting in the cafeteria and talking.

i sat down next to them, "how are you guys doing? any injuries?"

they shook their heads, "we've been spending time in the healer's office and just exercising lightly by the orders of johnny," argonas explained and i nodded.

"take it lightly, and go home if you want to. seeing family always helps the process, hopefully not too many nightmares?"

they laughed, "nightmares all the time, miss," hawk said lightly, "get used to it in this job."

i frowned, "have you tried speaking to doctor yvonne? she might have ways to solve nightmares."

"ahh, miss, sleeping draughts can only do so much," hawk replied cordially.

i laughed, "alright, hawkeye, but just make sure you're not getting traumatised okay? what about you, lopex, quentins?"

they shrugged.

"it's okay? the door was very hard to bust into," lopex said quietly, "we had to try several bombarding charms."

"now, lop, it was easy work!" draco said, sitting down, "hello, head auror, hello unit."

it brought on a cacophony of greetings.

"how are you doing, dray?" harry sat down next to him, "hi everyone!"

we all replied with more greetings and a steady conversation started and flowed for a couple of hours.

i felt my cell phone go off and i excused myself, noting it was 9pm already.

i apparated to the apartment doorstep, knocking on the door just in case anything was happening. i checked the caller id, it was hermione.

fred opened the door, hair messy, still good looking. i smiled at him, patting his shoulder as i ran to the ringing telephone and picked it up.

"y/n!" i could just hear the beam in hermione's voice.

"'mione! how did it go?"

"absolutely wonderful, head auror, ahhh, he's so cute!"

"what happened?" i asked, smiling already.

"well it was really cold when i saw the picnic blanket, which was matching my dress for some weird reason, and ron was there in the cutest button up and he looked so handsoME and he gave me a flower, he's always handsome but i just can't! ahhhh!" she squealed and i clapped my hands in excitement.

"and then i was shivering and he gave me hiS JUMPER and it smelled like him and oh my gosh i think i might just be in love, y/n!"

i giggled, "my cooling charm did work!"

"whaT y/n????"

cackling, i said, "continue, i wanna hear more this is so adorable!!!"

i ignored the dirty glance fred gave me, quietening my voice.

"and then we had food and he said he had cooked it himself and was being such a dear and i told him that i loved him over and over again!!!"

i squealed silently again.

"and, and, gosh my english has gone out of the window!"

"english is nothing compared to the language of love!!" i giggled.

"we watched the sunset whilst cuddling, and i fell asleep and then when i woke up i was in his bed and he was looking at me intently and i just, i'm the luckiest girl alive!"

"you are but you deserve it! that's so sweet! i'm happy for you goshhh, you are the cutest couple. you're both such darlings!"

"and then we watched a muggle movie and he got scared of the spiders and it was so adorable ahhhhHHHH!!!"

"that's the cutesttttt," i gushed.

another dirty look from fred. i gave him a frown back.

"and then he walked me home and it started raining and we kissed in the rain and another check off of my bucketlist and oh my gosh he's so perfect."

"oh gosh that's beautiful," i was smiling uncontrollably.

"anyway," her tone changed into one of mischief, "wanna meet up tomorrow to talk about it?"

"sure thing! when and where? i'll be there!"

"erm, lemme chec- think," i heard the suspicious rustling of papers.

"you're sus. let's just talk about it over the phone. i don't want anything weird."

"how about 10 am in the morning at the field of fireflies?"

"that's a highly romantic place, miss minister. isn't it for couples or something?"

"no? you must be talking about fiona farm."

oh. "yeah, probs, well okay, it better have good coffee. i'm dying of boredom too, does it have a playground??" i asked, hopefully crossing my fingers.

"nope."

"awww, shucks, i don't think i'll go then. you wanna come over though?"

"no please come! there's a surprise!"

i was sold, "lovely. i'll be there at 9:30!"

"no, no, don't do that."

"what the hell, hermione, you're being so suspicious!"

"i'm not, okay? just come on time, you won't regret it."

"if there's any funny business i'm not committing arson ever again."

"oh crap."

i sighed.

"just come anyway!!! good night cheerio!!!"

"what the-"

the line ended.

i frowned, noticing the glare fred gave me yet again.

"is everything okay??" i asked him.

"no," he said rudely.

"well, do you need any help?"

"no."

"how was your day?"

"fine."

i sighed, "okay."

"you called ron cute."

i laughed lightly, "that's it?? and so what's kissing a girl huh, nothing? i called him cute because he treats 'mione like a goddess, because she is a goddess, for goodness sake. and he is cute, in a completely objective way," i added absentmindedly, "all you weasleys are."

he frowned.

"she kissed me!"

"oh i don't mind, i couldn't. my two braincells can't handle it. you kiss whoever you wanna, okay? live, laugh, love, and all that." i smiled.

he was silent.

"and we can talk after i meet up with hermione, okay?"

"okay."

"we don't needa if you don't wanna, of course. g'night."

"have a nice sleep."

the next morning, i got up and went to the field of fireflies or whatever.

it was a beautiful place. it was a full on field. meadows stretched across the near english countryside. the sky was clear and light, and the world around me was stunning.

winds blew from all directions, and i soon found myself accio!ing a jumper.

"hermioneeee???" i called, "you're leaving me hanging."

had hermione stood me up? i chuckled at the very thought, soon rolling in the field of flowers as i laughed.

"hermione you devil you stood me up! you left your poor little work wife hanging!" i shouted dramatically.

i suddenly spotted a little house? by the side of the meadow.

i ran towards it.

"whoa."

it was absolutely magnificent. beige little bricks were stacked on top of each other, grey bricks dotted in. the shillings were dark green, and plants hung out everywhere in the cracks of the house.

large windows which reflected the blue light in the sky spanned across the whole house, and a single wooden door stood ajar.

i just wish i had brought a camera. i sat on the grass, playing with the hem of my jumper sadly. even hermione didn't have time for me. i wondered what a sad person i must seem like.

"contemplating life there?" i heard a far off voice. i swung my head around, seeing fred standing and grinning.

yeah well duh i was, no thanks to you, i thought.

i immediately got up.

"we can talk here, right?" fred asked, as he brought me into the house.

"wow," inside, it was cluttered and messy, with plants sprouting everywhere and bookcases and things everywhere. i loved it.

"you like it?" he asked.

"love it."

"good, because i bought it," he laughed at my flabbergasted expression, "i'm rich, darlin'. let's sit, i cooked lunch."

"was this your plan? to have hermione stand me up?" i asked.

"love, i wouldn't call this a plan. simply just a boy trying to explain himself."

"look i don't need an explanation. i told you, you can love whoever you wanna, i don't mind, i don't care, i support."

"but i'm gonna have to explain because i wanna kiss you."

"then go ahead," i sighed, "if you're lying i will stab you."

"jeesh okay."

i looked at him.

"oh yeah, i forgot the food, here," he said casually, handing me a plate filled with yummy looking delicacies. i was willing to put up with his rubbish story telling for the food, i guess.

"alright, i'm all ears."

"okay. so she talked with you right?"

i nodded.

"did she take a piece of hair from you?”

i nodded again.

"so you came home just right about when the night lights flicker on in london. or so i thought it was you. it was actually, aphrodite, yeah? in polyjuice potion. and she knocked on the door, which i thought was strange. i opened it and she immediately kissed me, as you. and it was weird but it was you and i would give the world to kiss you like that," he said bluntly and i could feel my face heating up, "and then it went like that for a few seconds and she turned into pretoria, and by then the woman had her claws on me. then the door opened and i knew i had made a mistake and then you left and apologised so sweetly. i'm so so sorry, my love, please, i never meant to hurt you, i never meant to do anything. i broke up with her last year. i haven't wanted to be with her since. i want to be with you."

i looked at him. i knew he was genuine.

"okay. i'm sorry too, for not trusting you. i guess i was just really unsure of our relationship. it's still kinda blurry."

"what do you wanna be?"

"could we be official, please?"

he grinned, "of course."

then smiling sheepishly, he added, "can i kiss you now?"

"only if i'm the only girl you kiss from now on," i teased, smiling.

he blushed, placing my hands over his heart. it was beating very very fast.

"feel that, beautiful?"

i nodded.

"only you."

he gave me a cheesy grin and laughed at my blushing face, before tilting my head upwards and going in for a kiss but kissing my cheek.

"that's not fair!"

and that's how his head ended up falling into my lap, as i ran my fingers through his ginger strands.

he had fallen asleep just as the sunset began.

it was breathtaking. hues of orange and red danced across the sky.

"i can think of something a lot more beautiful than that," fred said, smiling.

"oh?"

"yeah. yeah."

"i don't believe you."

"that's because you can't see yourself right now."

[hellofastudysession]

have you got narrator in the asks

>:D (hi jerry!!!!)

first impression: [watching countdown ending and apartment ending] oh my god he is literally me... oh my god <3 oh my gosh i want to be the narrator when i grow up. this is literally everything i've ever dreamed of. tormenting a representation of the self in a timeloop and enclosed space? having a laugh like that? powers? characterization that varies from ending to ending? being an absolutely terrible person???????? oh my god he is literally m

impression now: so. that thought process was ironic for many reasons.

jk jk jk impression now: makes me ridiculously happy. sometimes i listen to its voiceclips and go into a fugue state. i have many wish fulfillment scenarios in my head. when i saw all the skip dialogue had been posted on youtube i got so cheery man you have no idea. i love you mr. narrator and it knows this and i'm very glad it knows this. i am never getting the stanley parable: ultra deluxe on any console. i am going to give it a kiss on the forehead and also a pear

favorite moment: hahahaha, GOTCHA! oh, come onnnnn. did you actually think you had a loving wife? that this video game can be won, solved? do you have any idea what your purpose in this place is? ha, hahHAAHAHAAAAa, stanley. you're in for quite a disappointment. but here's a spoiler for you. yes! he had won! he had defeated the machine! freedom was mere moments away! please, someone wake me up! i must be real, i must be! who am i, who am i?!? oh, thank god, you are willing to listen to me. my god... is this really how much you dislike my game...? this is a story about a man named stanley. the end will be here soon. very soon. i can wait. i - okay. it's okay, i can wait. you need time to decide. time to make sure your choice is correct, that is the best... choice. that's all right... i'll wait for you to decide what's the right thing to do. (whispering) take as much time as you need.

favorite moment ultra deluxe: ohh! new content? hmm... mmMMmm... i have to say, initial impressions of ultra deluxe - mostly tedious. what do you say, friend? PSST... STANLEY... COME OVER HERE... IN THE VENT...... just our little secret. take a look! i wish for you to feel as afraid as i do. it's the inconsistency, it's the lack of accountability, it's the end is never the end is never the end is never the end let's take a break from the jim button, i'm too emotionally drained from all this emotional vulnerability. :) it's... bucket time...! once upon a time, i gave stanley a bucket, because i thought he was lonely, and could use a friend. let's go back, just once, and give stanley one more run of the office! and then, i'll retire him for good. okay, here we go. this... is the story of a man named stanley.

idea for a story: i'm already writing one!!!!!!!!!! how about i give the narrator a na p

unpopular opinion: no body

favorite relationship: take a fucking guess. Take A Fucking Guess

favorite headcanon: i don't really have one !!! i don't really make concrete headcanons about OOH RIGHT i forgot. okay narrator he/it and sometimes he/it/they supremacy thank you goodni ght

[nkhrchuwuya]

✨ Hi Cee!! Massive congratulations to the 500 milestone!! A little sharing, but ive been around here since January, and I have to say, your fics we're one of the things I held onto when I caught covid 🥺 your presence and works in this site is always a joy to have. Congrats again!! Much love~

If it's okay, I'd like to join your event! I'm a female, she/her pronouns. I can be extroverted if the environment Im in requires of it, but otherwise Im pretty quiet most of the time. I do like talking to people though, as long as they approach me first! I also like admiring people from afar since Im very bad at approaching strangers. Im generally friendly but I have very few friends I trust with my life. I have a tendency to accept too much responsibilities and i like looking after people! Its like Im introverted until someone more quiet comes around, then suddenly Im the mom friend 🙈 That said, people dont often look after me, but I really love it when they do, and people don't realize it often ig 👉👈 im a bit of an empath so im prone to getting emotionally drained sometimes, but its not like i avoid people's moods. I also have a pretty sharp tongue and a knack for dressing up, and also big on physical touch. That's about it, thank you in advance! Hugs and more power 💥

hey hey oh my gosh! nice to finally talk to you like this! thank you so much for your support all this time 🥺 i hope you're doing alright now and covid didn't leave any bad symptoms on you! also sending lots of hugs to you, thank you again for sticking around!

here are your headcanons, i hope they're to your liking!

chuuya first meets your extroverted side, and somehow he has this inkling that this isn't how you usually are. in the middle of a loud party, he asks if you'd like to talk somewhere a little quieter. at first you're apprehensive, but he turns out to be quite the gentleman!

he takes his time with you, by which i mean he really gets to know you better before he makes any moves on you. he's a delight as a friend (if, at least, you're into the more aggressive types of friends who will bite someone's neck if they so much as look weird at you), and the falling will be slow but ever so steady :')

now that you're together... hear me out, but people watching. you know those few minutes after a heavy meal where you could get up already but you'd rather sit a little bit and maybe chat as you let the food settle in your stomach? those are spent people watching with chuuya. he just adores your keen eye at noticing little things strangers do/carry with them, especially if you find something interesting to fixate on. (translated, this means, he loves watching you watch other people with a concentrated gaze because you look super adorable.)

you will worry your guts out over chuuya a lot of times. that's really what's part of the contract when you got into a relationship with someone from the port mafia. there are unanswered phone calls, waking up in the middle of the night alone in bed, dinners going cold. but you trust every time that he will come home... and he always does :)

that said, chuuya also is concerned about you taking on too many responsibilities, whether that's academically or in your work or even with your friends. as much as possible he will try to help you with them, or if not that, then help you say no to them, or even how to back out of them when necessary. he always stresses that you have to put you first and if it'll take him 10,000 times of saying it for it to get through your head then he will do it.

loves it when you dress up for him. he's got a sharp eye for fashion as well but of course he'd rather see what you'd make up for yourself. he always has comments if ever you want them, and he phrases them in such a way that it's not offensive. will also drag you to the most designer boutique kind of places if those are where your inspiration lies.

your sharp tongue is a wonder for him, actually! if you can use it for banter then even better. he just prefers someone who can be direct with him, even if sometimes it will take him off guard, especially the first few times if you're not like that from the start.

loads! of! cuddles! especially when he learns you have at hing for physical touch? he's always been a snuggler but now he's extra at it. a hand on your waist while you're cooking. arm tangled around yours while walking in the mall. gods, even just your pinkies touching when the heat of the summer is too much. whenever he can, chuuya has a hand on you.

the thing about being a couple now with chuuya is that he will love so much that you've let him into your small circle of people close to you, and he will never take that opportunity for granted. he is in no way perfect, and he will make mistakes and hurt your feelings, but he will do the best he can to be everything you could ask for him to be, as long as you promise to stay by his side.

[cyarskj1899]

I'm at a loss for words. The fact that after last year's tragedy George's family still can't catch a break is fucking ridiculous. My prayers are with Arianna Delane tonight. haven’t they been through enough heartbreak? Haven’t they been through enough trauma

It took 8 minutes to kill #GeorgeFloyd by Derek Shauvin, policeman... and go through a very difficult and heart wrenching trial

And it took ...4 damn hrs 😡for police officers to arrive to #AriannaDelane's home😮😡!

they had to deal with two traumatic events in almost two years now!

im drained emotionally, seriously just so gosh darn tired

#AriannaDelane #SayHerName #BlackLivesMatter

[felikatze]

gosh overthink huh. do you mind writing about cheese man, maybe? could be about anything! i love him a Whole Lot and i just.... mmmmm chesed aaaaaaaahhhhhhhHhhhhhhh

OURGH THE CHEESE MAN. SO MUCH

this post is Late bcuz word empty and getting distracted by things such as exams, video games, driving, and semi regularly going to sleep at 8pm. anyway

I prepared this one in a libreoffice doc this time hooray for structuring

My main thesis for Chesed as briefly touched upon in my netzach post was this: "Activist Burnout."

i actually went wayyy overboard on uh. just lobcorp itself without LoR, so I'm cutting this particular post off with his Core Supression so I actually post something. But. I do have more. Also I feel like this is mainly recap instead of digging but you may like it anyway? Maybe? Dunno.

"I'm just gonna rewatch his LobCorp scenes to refresh my memory," I said, making this post entirely about LobCorp

The lovely brainworms anon even put this into context of Lobcorp's main symbolism, which I have transcribed from an eaten ask for reading ease.

"It makes sense as well based on the Kabballah, (Disclaimer: I am no expert on the subject matter and am only using what knowledge I've managed to scour on the internet.) Chesed is supposedly the Sephirah of loving kindness whose mercy and compassion balanced out by Geburah the supposed Sephiroth of strength and justice. The two of them needing each other to balance each other out lest  they each go too far. Geburah by going on a rampage and wanting to punish the abnormalities even at the cost of employees. And Chesed as you said, falling into despair, guilt, and activist burnout by putting the blame for things way outside his control onto himself."

Thank you brainworms anon, you are very smart. Though because neither of us are jewish (which i presume from your disclaimer) I'm not the person to go in depth on that particular aspect, but rather take this as confirmation that a major aspect for Chesed is compassion, and an overabundance of it.

Now then, what is activist burnout? A definition I could find courtesy of alive magazine was “when long-term activism-related stressors deteriorate activists’ physical or emotional health or sense of connectedness to their movements, impacting their effectiveness or abilities to remain engaged.”

Another source lists symptoms as

"Exhaustion: Feeling emotionally and physically drained

Cynicism: Having negative associations with the work that once seemed so important

Inefficacy: Doubting self-worth and lack of activist achievement"

The first even notes that prolonged trauma in these environments can even lead to PTSD.

So, why am I saying specifically activist burnout, and not regular burnout?

Because Carmen's crew were activists, easy. Daniel came from a place of privilege as a citizen of a Nest, but recognized the unfair conditions of the world around him and sought to change them for the better through Carmen's great project. The setting of the City and associated Wings is once again a potent satire of the most extreme capitalistic society possible, thereby drawing attention to how the less murdery version affects us in the current day. Of course they're activists.

However, by the time of LobCorp proper, we see all these aforementioned traits. We can see how tired he is from his design alone, as the only Sephirah with bags under his eyes, and always clinging to a cup of coffee to get started in the day.

For the second point, from his second story section onward it becomes clear that he is disillusioned with LobCorp's work. He has an attitude of "why bother wasting effort being mean when it'll be over soon enough" from Chesed's very first interaction with X. He says himself that he's feigning niceness though; he's utterly distanced himself from everything, seeing all of it as "wasted effort" because this cup of coffee went cold a long time ago.

He doesn't see any worth in what he's doing. At all. It seems like he has really low expectations for everything, and acts accordingly. This includes the manager; only when they actually fulfill his tasks does he seem pleasently suprised. In his third interaction, he mocks Angela's meaningless speech of "contributing to something better"

Now the last point is where we get spicy. "I hadn't even developed a taste for coffee back then. Should I say I developed that taste after learning the bitterness of life?"

From flashbacks, we see that during the early days, Chesed was extremely passionate. But, every measure he took failed, courtesy of Angela's sabotage (later revealed to be all in the name of the script). His efforts were doomed to failure in the first place, because human sacrifice wasn't collateral damage to be avoided, it was a necessity.

Chesed has a rather unique position as Sephirot of the Welfare Team. It's literally his duty to help the employees and keep them safe. Unlike most other teams, he directly confronts how death can be minimized, and thus has the greatest awareness of how unavoidable it really is.

"It's a good thing that everyone has such clear-cut assigned roles. It makes it easy for them to be faithful to their task with no unnecessary contemplation or distraction."

"Lady Angela does a very good job at keeping everyone in check in her play. Anytime someone tries to rid themself of their assigned role... Well, she becomes merciless."

Again, his position in the Welfare Team is what allows him to contemplate all this at all, combined with the fact that we know Chesed is already much smarter than he first appears. From his theatrical metaphor, we can even glean that he either came to the conclusion of a script himself, or managed to glean it from Angela's actions. The other Sephirah simply do not have the space to think about it to such a degree.

Angela tells him the truth about how LobCorp creates its energy not only because Chesed was already onto it, but because showing a passionate young man that his every goodwill is useless and will be sabotaged is the best way to break him.

(Another youth broken by the sharp jaws of capitalism~)

We only do things efficiently. Be happy you have this job at all. Just drink some coffee, you'll feel better.  "What's the point of it all?"

By the end of it all, he just gave up. If he went against Angela, if he told the employees the truth, she'd just kill them. And it will be his fault.

During Chesed's fifth segment, we actually get to see his relationship with Gebura, as touched upon by Brainworm Anon.

Angela herself says that "Gebura has failed to control her enmity, and has now lost her way." Chesed's kindness had made him unable to act, unable to rebel for fear of consequence. Despite saying he doesn't care for the welfare of employees, who else could it be for? "I hope you continue to rot until the day you die, succumbing to your fears like the servile bastard you are," says Gebura, hitting the nail on the head while also being very mean.

Gebura goes hard in the exact opposite direction. Chesed is consumed by fear, but she won't let herself be afraid. Ever. She'll confront everything head on, she'll punish each and every Abnormality as much as she can. The flipside to this is that "lack of fear" doesn't just mean for herself, but also for others. Her initial task as Kali was protecting others, and by refusing to show fear and setting her focus on raw strength, she accepts any casualty, completely contradicting her initial mission. But that's a topic for another post.

From the wise words of Brainrot Anon:

"But the way both Geburah and Chesed both grow into being healthier more balanced versions of themselves makes my heart swell with happiness in knowing that all our hardwork in LC did pay off when it came to helping our friends."

Indeed.

Speaking of growing into a healthier version of yourself, we have arrived at the turning point!

"Everyone has their own battle in this place...," he says after Gebura storms off, "But I can't seem to shake off this feeling that I'm the only one who just observes this situation from afar, not taking any action."

Wu oh! We've finally arrived at the self loathing! In a way, this is both completely out of his control, and a prison of his own making. Angela's sabotage was a delibarate effort to break his spirit, and yet Chesed himself tried to distance himself from the harsh reality as much as possible.

This dear statement shows us that his unique position, the most aware of the truth of LobCorp amongst the Upper and Middle Sephirah as well as seemingly unable to do anything about it, was eating him up inside.

Flashback to Garion. She tells him flat out, it doesn't matter whether he opens the door or not, because Garion will just do it herself if he doesn't. Eerily similar to the exact previous moment of Angela asking Chesed to lower the Qlipoth Detrrence. Hell, it's both about setting the Abnormalities free!

Daniel doesn't resist, because he has no choice, right? Resistance's all pointless, right? Daniel was consumed by fear, the same way Chesed was.

His core supression, his rebellion, is about taking the reins back into his own hands, about moving past the burnout and actually acting again. To him, every word of praise for his cowardice was just another pile of guilt. And the manager kept fulfilling his tasks, kept reducing casualties, kept showing him that its possible to act and to succeed!

"I don't want to undertake dirty work for Angela's show, or be a puppet who gets praise and applause from everyone. Nor do I want to be your "aide" who can't do a single thing. All of this has been a series of shame for me. Manager, this shall be my rebellion against you and Angela."

He was sick of taking a step back, of letting the shame pile on and on. We also see a bit of survivor's guilt from Daniel, regretting he was the only person who survived the initial attack from Garion.

Making this post, I'm seeing that Chesed's story is about how one gets burned out, and how one breaks out of it. How too much compassion results in guilt, and that with enough external pressure, compassion is discarded because of fear. You can try to change the world all you like, but the world will chew you up and spit you out. If you let it, that is.

"Why did I never come to the realization that I myself could be my own saviour?"

"I'm still afraid, manager. I'm still unsure if I can truly fight back against the fear I may face in the future. But I've decided not to run away, at the very least."

Chesed's Seed of Light is called "Those who are Faithful and Trustworthy." He reevaluated who he should really believe in, whose orders he should really follow, without just giving up and rolling over. In the end, if he decides to place his trust in the manager, it's of his own volition.

In a way, my initial grasp of his character may have been lacking..... I mainly focused on the first half of it, without touching upon the important aspect of reconcillation and regaining the passion thought lost. Only once he starts believing in his work again does Chesed not only act but feel like he is kind again.

One thing I may have mentioned about Chesed in regards to LoR, is that he still distances himself from other's suffering... but I don't think it's a bad thing as it was in LobCorp. It's all about the scope. LobCorp was something Chesed was directly involved in. A lof of "What if Daniel tried to resist Garion? What if Chesed tried to resist Angela?" and in the case of Chesed vs Jae-heon, the Library is the thing Chesed decided to place his trust in, which Jae-heon tries to destroy. Them standing in direct opposition leads Chesed to fall back on the attitude of "why waste effort being mean?"

As a final note, I find his Core Supression incredibly ironic, as all Core Suppressions are, since his is damage amplification. He's not hurting Angela or the manager, just the employees. Maybe that's why he needs to be supressed in that case in the first place. Well, it's always darkest before dawn, and every Sephirah is most batshit before enlightenment.

[fortheloveoffanfic]

Hellooooo Jim anon here!! I’m back with a new headcanon!! Please, it may not make much sense or have a lot of typos but it’s almost 1am and I just can’t proofread it! Hope it’s still good haha!! Anywhoooo, enjoy!!

Jim had an awful week. His boss told him he’d have to go to some convention out of town on the weekend with his kids. Danielle refused to switch weekends because she had something already planned which meant he wouldn’t see his children for another two weeks. He didn’t see you for three days because of work. His car broke down in the morning so he was late. Awful week.

And usually, Jim tries to see the bright side. One bad day is okay, the next one will be better. But it was Friday and he had it up to here. He was so drained emotionally, mentally, everything.

And to make everything worse, he found himself having to work later than usual.

When he finally left work at 8pm, he took the car a friend lended him and began driving. He found himself taking the road to your place, parking right under your building.

He sat in his car for a few minutes, asking himself what he was doing. He just really missed you.

But it was Friday night, last thing he wanted was to bother you. Especially if you were out with friends.

Instead, he sent you a simple “hey” text. You replied within the minute which meant you were probably home. But even by text, you noticed something was wrong and asked about it. He ended up admitting he was downstairs and you obviously invited him up.

You waited him by your apartment door and it was clear he wasn’t alright.

(I’m going to write a dialogue because honestly, I don’t feel like describing everything lol)

“Hey, you.”

“Hey.”

“What’s going on, hm?”

“…just had a shit day. Actually…shit week. Sorry to bother you with this. I don’t even know why I came here, I should just…”

“No, no. Come here”

You took his hand so gently it would probably be enough to make him want to cry. He followed you to you bathroom, where you proposed him to take a shower/bath. Since you hadn’t eaten yet, you also told him you were going to order pizzas if he wanted. Which obviously he did.

When he came out, there were some clean clothes he had left at your place waiting for him. He joined you in the living room as you came back with your pizzas.

Fast-forward to after dinner, you’re both sitting on your couch, your favorite comfort show playing on the tv. Jim finally allows himself to relax, resting his head against your shoulder. Of course, you play with his hair because you know how much he enjoys it. After some quiet, he admits what’s going on, telling you all about his troubles. You listen to him, trying to find the right words to comfort him.

Honestly, he already felt better the moment you took his hand when he arrived but hearing you remind him all those things he forgot during his hellish week, only made him calmer. He thanked you, feeling so much better as you held him. It’s very rare for him to be down like this but he was glad he had you when it happened.

You probably both fell asleep on the couch, too tired (and too comfortable) to move.

Jim’s week may have sucked but with you by his side, he could definitely handle it :)

Haiii friend! Gosh, I'm sorry it took my so long to respond! <3 And that's alright, I'm just happy to receive this. I too write and 1am (and 2 and 3am because who needs sleep lol) and refuse to proofread sometimes.

This is just.....the sweetest, fluffiest hurt/comfort thing I've read in a while and now my heart is full.

I'm soft for the way he went to her building but just sat in the garage instead of going straight to her; he wanted to be with her but he also didn't want to intrude on her night. Thinking of her even after his horrible week? My heart can't take it

And the simplicity; they don't need to do anything "fancy" to turn things around, they just need to be together and that's just the sweetest thing ever.

Also, also, falling asleep together on the couch- I can just see them all cuddled up with a blanket that's usually thrown over the back draped over them. It comfy, even if there isn't a lot of room, so they're just tangled limbs and probably chest to chest, too cute.

The entire thing was just perfect!

[dolliedarlin]

Hi im sorry if I'm disturbing you but I need to ramble for a bit and ur my only sense of comfort <3

Soooo I day dreamed a bit and then I had a scenario in my head about Kirishima with his wife and daughter ( angst)

(This is written very shitty I apologize in advance)

So imagine Kiris wife was a pro hero too and died... so now there's only kiri with his 14-15 year old daughter and they're...... sad... so one day kiri is on a mission and gets hits really hard so he ends up in the hospital, kiris daughter being emotionally drained and unstable freaking out when she sees him in the hospital first she runs to hug him and then she gets a bit of an mental breakdown and yells at papa kiri for being so careless and of how she is supposed to live without any parents when she basically can't even without her mother. A LOT LOT LOT of comfort from papa kiri and then they make a pinky promise that kiri isn't allowed to die and leave his daughter alone and.....

TIMEEEESKIPPP SOMEHOWWWWW

We see someone standing in front of two Graves and PLOTWIST its kiri himself...

His daughter got some kinda illness like cancer and died... So kiri goes " you broke the promise little one" and holds his pinky in front of the grave of his daughter and cries...

OK SO I KNOW THIS IS WRITTEN SHITTY BUT IMAGINED THIS SCENARIO OVER AND OVER IN MY HEAD AND IT MADE ME CRY I JUST WANTED TO SOMEHOW GET IT OFF MY CHEST....

I LUV U AND UR WRITINGS!<3

- an insomniac anon who's having an exam tomorrow

Luv u <3

i apologise to all you lovely anons that i kept in my ask box for such a long long time >~< i honestly don't know how to respond to your creative imaginations sometimes, it's all wonderful and imaginative and i feel like if i add anything or even comment anything, i'd be making input that isn't needed but all these scenarios need to be shared so everyone can be kept sane while i make you guys wait until the next update (DX i'm so sorry for that btw)

oh my gosh, this is just heartbreak...heartbreak heartbreak, i can feel my heart snapping in two!

but just to make it a little happier, i imagine a year or two after his daughter died, Kiri was seriously injured in yet another dangerous mission. you see, after he lost two of his most precious people, he because really protective of the people that were in his life currently, and that meant all of his prohero friends and since he has a hardening quirk, he always took the hits even if it meant getting hospitalised over and over again.

so he's in his hospital room, relaxing and trying to read a book even though he can't concentrate half the time and ends up reading the same paragraph over and over again for the past half an hour when...he hears the door gently creak open before a pitter patter of footsteps make their way over to his bed.

looking down he sees a little girl with a handful of daisies in her clutched to her chest before he could say anything she greets him in the most adorable voice he's ever heard

"hello mister! do you like daisies?" she grins with a crinkle in the corners of her eyes

"ummm...yeah, they're very cute" Kiri plays along, enjoying the company as his heartstring pull achingly at the vision of his deceased daughter in place of the little girl.

"I think so too! i bring them here for my grandma, mommy says she's sick and that it's very serious..." kiri's heart breaks at the thought of such a young and innocent child having to go through a gradual loss of a loved one so early on, "but i think that if i bring grandma enough flowers, she'll smile enough and feel happy enough to get better," such innocence needs protecting and Kiri is reminded of why he does what he does as a prohero. "Are you sick too, mister?" the little girl asks with a frown.

"yeah but i'm strong so i'll get better soon, don't worry little one," kiri reaches down and gently pets her hair, smiling at how soft it is. Just like his daughter's...

she giggles and holds a delicate daisy up to him, "have a daisy and be happy!"

"Thank you..."