#goongoals

[seriallackey]

The Goon Squad - Summer Edition

Dakota’s phone whirred, then the camera flashed, taking an especially impatient Sybil by surprise. She groaned. “Why do we have to do this? I mean, duh, I look -amazing- but klutz over here is crowding my style.”

Obliviously, Kim blurted out a reply. “Hey!” She didn’t follow-up.

Dakota re-examined her phone, selectively ignoring Sybil’s sour attitude. “We don’t want to forget this moment. It’s important to commemorate our first European assignment, don’t you think?” Dakota wasn’t going to let a little phone-related malfunction stop her selfie-related good times. “This vacation is about team-building. We’re a team now!”

“So where’s the boss?” Kimberly asked. She meant Tobi Vasquez, their Echo Specialist.

“Yeah, where’s the boss?” Sybil added, mimicking Kim’s sing-song southern accent. “If we’re such a great team, she should be here too!”

“She’s very busy right now.” Dakota corrected the two green Proxies. “Specialist Vasquez doesn’t have time to vacation. She’s working with the Captain to make sure we’re safe on our next operation.” Every word of Dakota’s explanation was the truth. She left out Tobi Vasquez’s extreme anxiety. She needed alone time. Dakota happily covered for her. Vasquez wasn’t the leadership type. Really, she was the type to list “Public Speaking” as a fear worse than death. The idea of leadership mortified her.

The trio settled just long enough for Dakota to take a picture. Or ten. She continued to snap while Sybil flippantly pretend-ignored, while Kim flashed a peace-sign, one she happily did not quite represent in personality or job description. The trio were agents of the KSG -- Khoros Security Group -- K-Sec -- Chor Gruppen -- whatever designation local governments used.

“Watch ya’ flank, flippers.” Sybil said, slipping away from Kim and Dakota, dropping into the nearest deck chair to scan Google Maps for the most expensive shoppes in La Rochelle. 

Kim hovered over Sybil curiously. “So... you guys wanna go spear fishin’?!” Kim asked, her unbuttoned white top flapping in the high winds. “I commissioned a ship captain, got the gear, y’know, the whole shebang!”

“Only thing I’m hunting are shells, Kimbo.” Dakota teased. “It sounds like fun.”

Sybil groaned. “You’re both dorks. I’m gonna get in some beach shopping ‘fore we’re shipped outta here.” Her eyes lit up with delight when she pinpointed a fashionable storefront, within walking distance -- literally, her only requirements for the day.

“You got money?! Like, dude, you gotta share.”

Sybil laughed darkly, cracking her knuckles. “Five finger discount, Williams. I have got SO much to teach you.”

Top Secret Notes

Kim, Sybil, and Dakota are a trio of KSG Proxies -- henchpersons for the nefarious, possibly world-ruling KHOROS Security Group. All Proxies work in three-person teams, and for now, Dakota, Sybil, and Kim are stuck together.

Don’t worry, they might be working for the bad guys, but they’re going to be super-best-friends.

As Proxies, they’re sent all over the globe on missions for KHOROS -- every once in awhile, they even get a day off. Here, we get a rare glimpse of Kim, Dakota and Sybil getting to enjoy a vacation from work, and this time, they’re trying to bond. One day, they’ll learn that friendship conquers all! 

[seriallackey]

One Mission Down, About A Billion To Go

The olive-green puck-shaped device suctioned onto the metal container, emitting a furious whir, then an abrupt click. A red LED flashed to signal its new state of readiness. Dakota Stanton judged the scene, circling the rookie agents’ handiwork.

“Don’tcha worry, he ain’t hurt or nothin’.” Kim reassured, pointing at the unconscious corporate security guard. Too much of a klutz for stealth, Kim preferred a more direct approach when dealing with the competition. 

Dakota pinched the bridge of her nose, speaking with a corrective tone. “He’s demonstrably hurt, Kim. I think you mean to say, he isn’t dead?”

“’Zactly.” Sybil took the baton. “The charges are planted. Shouldn’t we be gettin’ outta here?”

“Well, actually...” Dakota cleared her throat, directing her comrades’ attention to that same unconscious security guard, laying in a heap on the floor. “We can’t just leave him here...”

Sybil groaned. “You always gotta make this so hard, don’tcha Stanton?”

Sybil complained. Always the helper, Kimberly swooped in to carry the corporate thug by his shoulders, distributing the load. He was still heavy. Note to self: weight training is a must. They would be carrying him to safety -- Dakota wouldn’t hear otherwise. Destroying stuff? Totally fine. Hurting semi-innocent bystanders? No way. So defeats the purpose of being an evil minion, but Kim accepted Dakota’s moral limitations. She was just too goody-goody.

It was kinda cool, actually.

Top Secret Notes:

Dakota, Sybil, and Kimberly, just as they’ve successfully (almost) completed a plain clothes mission to infiltrate and destroy sensitive, incriminating documents. Every once in awhile, they get sent on a simple job they can complete themselves -- with minimum supervision! 

Tobi, Paige, and the rest of the top brass are closely monitoring their progress. They’ll be graded! This mission will so score them a B+, at least!

It’s important to dress for success! When infiltrating a hard-copy data storage warehouse, it’s better to ditch the fancy KSG uniforms and dress like proper business associates.

Kim wanted to put on her manly mustache disguise, but Sybil and Dakota thought it looked too fake. She’ll need to source a more realistic mustache in the near future.