#goofy dracopia
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My Fanfic List
Hi, I'm Callie, I realized that maybe instead of just dropping my thingys I might as well say something in the way. So, I'm just a human woman who's imagination has been assaulted by the Ghost/Repugnant train and I just will let it consume my life and soul.
I'm relatively new in Tumblr and english is not my first language, so bare with me with my mispellings, since I don't have many people to show my works and help me correct them. Thank you if you manage to read up to this point.
Main account @calitmediondell so don't be scared if I respond from there.
⛧☾༺ AO3 Links ༻☽⛧
Primo - Papa Emeritus I
❦Say it with flowers (One Shot) 2.6k words- Young Primo/GN Reader, Fluff.
Terzo and Secondo
𖤐Cardinal Brothers (Coming some time in the future) Story of an adventure of the cardinals Terzo and Secondo in late 80's/stranded in a little conservative christian town/ heavely based on "To Wong Foo" movie 1995.
Cardinal Copia
𖤐Serious Killer (20.3k words) Dracopia fic - Epic friendship- Dracopia/Cardinal Copia/GN-Reader, SFW
Chapters: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / ? (indefinite hiatus)
𖤐Dark Lipstick (2.2k words) Cardinal Copia/reader Fem/V - +18 MDNI. Sex Toys, Flirting, Edging
𖤐 Sweet Lip Balm (Second part of Dark Lipstick) (4k words) +18 MDNI. Sex Toys
𖤐 Hot Cherry Bomb (Third part of Dark Lipstick) (3.8k words) +18 MDNI Smut, Blood Kink, semi-public Sex
Mary Goore
𖤐Stiff Enough (Finished) (11k words) NSFW, Smut! MDNI, Mary Goore/fem OC
𖤐Chistmas Carol of the Goor-y Present (Finished) (13k words) (Second part of "Stiff Enough") NSFW, Smut! MDNI, Mary Goore/fem OC
🜏The Beastly Ones are in Command (4.3k words) (One Shot) Mary Goore - Poltergeist,Implied/References Child Abuse. Rated Mature Please mind the tags
☥ Madness, Pain and Shadows (Finished) Mary Goore as The Crow - Blood Violence, Child Death, Mental Health Issues, Rated Mature Please mind the tags
Chapter: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9 / 10
𖤓Sore Kisses - [Long Haired Blonde] Mary Goore/Fem Reader NSFW, Smut! MDNI
Chapter: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9 / 10 / 11 / 12 / 13 / 14 / 15 / 16 / 17 / 18 / ?
Fanart (?)
Ghost Beanie / Mary Goore's Poltergeist /
Mary Goore Sad Hours Guitar Solo / Topo Gigio as Cardinal Copia
#mary goore#repugnant#mary goore fic#repugnant band#ghost fanfiction#ghost band#my writing#self indulgent#dracopia#goofy dracopia#humor fanfics#self indulge#the band ghost fanfic#the band ghost fanfiction#cardinal copia x reader smut#cardinal copia x oc#cardinal copia x reader#cardinal copia x female reader#repugnant fanfiction#papa emeritus primo#papa primo x reader#Sore Kisses#madness pain and shadows#serious killer#stiff enough#the band ghost fanart#cardinal copia#the band ghost#ghost bc#papa copia
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Copia rolling up on his tricycle while his illegitimate father was dying has to be one of my favorite moments in Ghost history
#he's so silly#so goofy#cardinal copia#ghost#dracopia#ghost bc#ghost memes#copia is my husband#papa emeritus 4#papa emeritus iv#papa copia#copia
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I love dark Dracopia, I really do but hear me out- imagine there's like rumors or legends of Dracopia being this terrifying creature of the night in a town. Everyone's terrified of his image (like Dracula) and you barge into his home without knowing about said rumor cause you just happen to get into an accident and needed a place to stay and whatnot
Eventually, you meets Dracopia but he's not this terrifying vampire people ought to describe, in fact, he's the most awkward motherfucking vampire you met (kinda like What We Do In The Shadows type of vampire)-
The first meeting with him was catching him feeding on some animal and you running away thinking you're the next meal and Copia chases you and catches you but he's like explaining in the most awkward and confusing way a person can and you're just praying instead of his mercy but for him to not be so painfully silly and awkward while he tries to explain what he was doing
#LIKE I WANNA SEE A GOOFY DRACOPIA OK#MAN IS GOOFY AND SILLY IN GENERAL ITS IN HIS CORE TO BE SILLY#the band ghost#papa emeritus iv#cardinal copia#papa my beloved#dracopia
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Just a Quick(ie) Change
Papa Copia x gn!Reader smut
WC: 3100
A/N: I think I blacked out when I wrote this at 2am. This one is for @endhisbloodlineinmyesophagus - thank you for spamming me with pics of Copia’s amazing thighs.
Content warnings: oral sex m!receiving. 18+ only. Minors DNI.
NSFW below the cut.
Hired as a quick-change assistant, you didn’t expect much from the job backstage for Papa Emeritus IV.
You never expected, one, that you’d actually enjoy your job, and two, that the two other assistants would quit right before a tour.
It was much too close to the start of the ritual tour to hire someone on the spot. Sister Imperator always had the last word, and since the clergy was thousands of miles away from her at the moment, it was an inopportune time to be short-staffed. Papa required many, many intricate costume changes during rituals. Usually, these changes required at least six additional hands, but at least for the next several shows you’d have to make do with just your two.
It was down to you and him when he’d come backstage. Sometimes another member of the crew would bring him refreshments while the nameless ghouls stalled on stage, riffing and whatnot, but mostly it was just the two of you. This led to witty banter, goofy little mishaps, and the like. Some accidents even led to flirtatious jokes between you two as you quickly warmed to each other.
Papa rushed offstage, clutching the front of his trousers. Holding back a laugh, you couldn’t resist asking, “Are your pants falling off or are you just eager to see me?”
He put his hand to his heart, exclaiming a word in Italian before inhaling in a dramatic gasp. “My button popped off.”
You knew his button came off while he was performing - you had a small live monitor in your closet - coloring you thoroughly impressed by the movements of his hips. You had the cheesy line and a needle, thread, and replacement for the offending button prepared as soon as you saw it happen.
The laugh you shared together wasn’t the first, and certainly would not be the last of the evening. You couldn’t place why it brought you so much joy to just make him smile in between sets. It was a moment of complete and utter glee in the midst of the madness that went into each ritual.
Zippers got caught, shoes were left untied, robes were wrinkled, the whole nine. It was like Murphy’s Law backstage sometimes… anything that could go wrong, would go wrong.
On the second night of your solo adventure, in the middle of a particularly intricate change involving his Dracopia bat wings, Papa said something to you that would keep your mind stirring the entire night. He was on a high from the opening of the show, beaming at you from the moment he saw you, but this… this was different.
“I enjoy our time together, you know.”
“What?” Your focus was on the second, most stubborn, buckle as you stood in front of him. The harness couldn’t lace itself up so you kept working, your fingers nimbly adjusting as he kept speaking.
“Well, it’s just that I’m used to so many people poking and prodding me, shoving me this way and that, just going through the motions.” He paused, tilting his head to listen for his cue coming up before he continued, “But with you this is different, I feel like I’m actually getting a break instead of just being rushed around like a…how do they say... chicken with its head cut off.”
You finished the last buckle, securing it in place and patting his arm as you were utterly lost for words. His sentiment cut through you like a blade, but was as soft as a feather pillow.
He turned on his heel as he walked away, but paused and looked over his shoulder, winking at you before walking back on stage. The crowd of devotees screamed and you stood alone in the dark, accompanied only by the mass of butterflies in your stomach.
The rest of the night went by as usual, but somehow smoother than expected. The stolen glances between you and Papa were more heated, and held more weight than before. Neither one of you crossed that threshold that night though; You refused to be the first one to take this - whatever this is - to the next level.
The next show you were alone, yet once more. Sister Imperator unsurprisingly didn’t like any of the candidates that had applied for the position, not deeming them ‘good enough’ to work with Copia. She never called him Papa, you noticed.
Sister was doing her best to assuage you while simultaneously making your head hurt. She was always kind to you for some unknown reason, but tonight she was truly laying it on thick, “… but you, my dear, are a diamond in the rough. You’ll have to shine on your own just a little longer.”
The video call glitched, her word’s temporarily interrupted by a bad connection as she said something else.
“I’m sorry, would you repeat that? It sounded like you said it’s just going to be me for the rest of the week.”
“Oh no, I didn’t say that.” The video finally stabilized. You sighed in relief before she continued. “I said you’ll be on your own for the rest of the tour.”
Your face fell. It felt like a two-ton weight was placed on your chest, or that you were shoved in a truck, locked in, and the key was thrown away.
No help? Seriously?
She noted your facial expression before you could reel yourself in. “Don’t worry my dear, we will compensate you more for the lack of help you have, but at least I know that my - cough - er, the Cardinal, will be happy in your capable hands.”
You tried to hide your dismay, “O-Kay.”
“I’ve got to run off now little one, try to make the best out of it, alright?”
“I promise, Sister, thank you.”
You sighed again, to no one this time and not out of relief. To be on your own the rest of the tour seemed, in practice, too much. You had only done two shows solo and the limited sanity you had was already wearing thin. Suddenly, you had a strange thought that warmed your body: if you’re the only one then that means more time for you and Papa to get to know each other.
Your traitorous heart gave a squeeze. More time alone with him couldn’t possibly be a bad thing… could it?
Perhaps? Perhaps not. But you could certainly think of many, many bad things to do.
One week later
Your heart was pounding as you did your final checks. Everything tonight was going to run perfectly.
The first change went to plan, then the next. Every second that passed with the two of you in each other's vicinity felt like an eternity. Your own personal hell of stolen glances and small comments. Of shallow breaths and lingering touches.
“Is this new?” He nodded to your night-black long-sleeved dress. All-black was the dress code for backstage crew so tonight you’d opted for a racy mini dress and long black stockings to cover your legs up to the thigh. Only a salacious inch of skin showed between the garments, and Papa couldn’t resist peeking.
Flattered that he noticed, you blushed, “Yes, it is.” You straightened his robes, ensuring the easily-wrinkled fabric lay perfectly in its place.
“I’d like to see it off you later.” He reached with one gloved hand and ran two fingers along the visible skin of your thigh, making you tremble with want. It felt like the little room turned into a furnace, just from that.
Quick as a flash he grabbed his prop from your open palm before you could react and darted back out to the stage, leaving you in shock with the realization that he wants you just as badly as you want him.
You pace back and forth, setting everything out for the next change. At one point the stage manager pops in, asks you if you need anything and you assure them that you’re good.
There’s only one person who can give you what you need.
As soon as the cue hits for him to exit your palms tingle in anticipation. Your eyes lit up as you saw him, stripping him out of the floor-length robe immediately to get started on the next change. But Papa had other ideas.
His gloved hands grabbed you firmly, one on your jaw and the other at your waist to pull you into a deep and sensuous kiss. You felt the electricity between you buzz from your lips down to your toes. Your body responded before you truly realized what was happening, and you kissed him back with equivalent enthusiasm.
He growled as you parted your lips to dart your tongue out, grazing his teeth once before going back on the next kiss to taste his tongue. You moaned, greedily, taking in a deep breath through your nose to inhale his bouquet of fragrant cologne and hair products. It felt like the two of you were kissing with the need of long-lost lovers, reunited after a decade of time. He grabbed and groped at your body, pulling you closer as though he never wanted to let you go.
You did your best not to be too handsy with him in return, as you didn’t want to fuck up his costume.
Fuck! His costume!
The head-spinning thrill of the kiss made him miss his cue to go back on stage, both of you too caught up in the passion of the moment to feel the world around you. You broke the kiss and violently threw items at him to put on. Luckily this change was one of the easier ones, but it never looked good for Papa to delay his return to the stage.
The stage manager came in again, “Everything alright in there?”
“Yes! Just a stubborn zipper again!” You laughed breathily to cover up your anxious flitting about while Papa stayed silent.
“Alright, well, hurry it along, the ghouls are going to start eating each other out there if not.” They sounded less than pleased before cutting back out of the tiny room.
“Heard.” You replied curtly, not in the mood to have your moment ruined any further.
“I don’t know how to say this without sounding like a dickhead,” your breath caught in your chest. Did he regret the kiss? “You have a little, er, smudge.” He motioned towards his lip.
You looked in the mirror beside you, hells below, he was right! You had black makeup from him smudged all over.
He giggled his way back out, leaving you furiously rubbing at your lips and chin, your face fully flushed with embarrassment.
By the next quick change, you two had a pattern working perfectly.
First, change out of the previous costume.
Second, put the next one on.
Third, and most importantly, spend any and all remaining seconds kissing each other like giddy teenagers.
You both became a desperate mess of hands, lips, and teeth. You even picked up a few new tricks: one of which being that you could tie his tie exceedingly well while he had his tongue in your mouth. You got a little too handsy now, stroking him through his pants as his hands gripped your rear. Feeling him growing with every motion was spurring you on, making you almost delirious with need.
“I’ll see you shortly.” He exhaled heavily, palming the front of his pants to adjust the placement of his dick. It was adorable how he was going to go out there like this, pantomiming that nothing had transpired, but you were fine with it, it was a little game.
“I’ll be waiting.” You called after him.
The longest break in the show was up next, and you already knew what to do. You were on your knees before he finished the song, his cue to move backstage for his change came and when he saw you he stopped in his tracks.
“Don’t just stand there now, come over here and let me taste you.” Your bold words seemed to almost miss him, as he looked to be in a trance. He soon snapped out of it, taking a few steps to you and closing the distance.
He stroked your hair, “You don’t have to do this right now, we can wait until later.”
His suggestion was tempting but unnecessary, you were committed to this. “I gave you a problem, and I want to take care of it for you. May I?” You pleaded up at him and his mouth dropped open.
“Yes. Fuck, please.”
With his explicit permission you went to work. It was well-known that Papa went commando on stage. However, this didn’t make it any less difficult for you to peel the “rat-eaten” black pants off of him. His sweat combined with the stiff, unforgiving tightness of the trousers and made it quite difficult for you to wrench him from the tight fabric.
You wrestled the fabric down, exposing the very tops of his delicious thighs and in the middle, his magnificent thick cock sprung forth. Your mouth watered at the sight, so long and hard, how you wanted - no - needed to taste him.
You wet your lips, looking up at him and not wanting to waste any more time as you pressed your tongue lightly to the underside of the hot tip. You flicked your tongue to the very end, where a bead of pre-cum was leaking out.
Tasting him stirred something within you that made your insides clench. You wanted so much more than just to give him a sloppy blow job in the stage right closet at a ritual. But this would have to do for now.
The salt of his sweat on your tongue was like a drug to you, and you needed more of everything. You impaled yourself on his length, gagging obscenely as you took as much of him into your mouth as possible.
He groaned as you sucked at him, your tongue working to massage the underside of his shaft. You bobbed your head back and forth, one of your hands coming up to follow the motion of your mouth. It slid back and forth easily, the copious amount of spit already coating his length made for ideal lubrication.
Your other hand steadied yourself by gripping his exposed thigh, squeezing the flesh lightly, your fingertips satisfied just by touching his bare skin. You felt your arousal again, a pulse at the apex of your legs thrumming to almost fierce levels. Fuck, you wanted to put one of your hands between your own legs, but right now, your focus was solely on Papas pleasure.
He exhaled with a ‘ha’ sound, another groan making its way out through his clenched teeth. You felt one of his hands curl itself through your hair, pulling slightly to get your attention.
You looked up at him, and you were so turned on by the sight. Papa’s face was contorted in lustful indulgence. Some of his hair plastered itself to his forehead while other pieces stuck out at the sides as though he had been running his fingers through the salt-and-pepper strands. You made a quick mental note to fix it before he went back on stage.
He pulled again at your hair and you removed your mouth from him, although your hand continued to work, stroking up and down his entire shaft.
“Fuck my mouth Papa.” The words in your desire-filled heart spoke themselves aloud.
He growled, “Open up.”
You did exactly as you were told, moving both hands now to his thighs as he readjusted his grip on your hair. The music was changing, the instrumental interlude was almost to an end. Your mouth opened wide and you got your wish.
Papa fucked your mouth as though the success of the ritual depended on it. He wasted no time pressing his impressive length into your mouth and throat as far as it could go. Your gag reflex was being obliterated with each thrust of his hips forwards. After several quick, punishing blows to your throat it finally relaxed. You were at his mercy, and mercy, he was not pulling any punches.
Tears stained your cheeks, an ache started in your jaw, and your facial muscles tensed. The pressure, the pain was all made worth it as you looked up through bleary eyes to see Papa. His chest shuddered with every breath. His heterochromatic eyes watched you and his eyebrows were knit together. Papa's mouth hung open and dirty remarks, expletives, and guttural sounds of pleasure sputtered out.
“Look at you, so wanton, so needy for my cock that you’ll kneel before me.”
You hummed in response, pressing your thighs together to try to gain even a slight bit of friction between them.
It could have been the vibrations from your hum that put him over the edge, or maybe it was that he knew he had to get back out there, but his grasp in your hair tightened. Your scalp flashed in white hot pain as he cried out in one final thrust and painted the back of your throat with hot, heavy spurts of his release.
You swallowed greedily, not wanting a single drop to be missed as he pulled out of your mouth and moved to quickly pull his pants back up. He knelt down unexpectedly, and you met his gaze. His gloved hands wiped the tears from your cheeks as he leaned forward and kissed you on your swollen lips.
“Grazie, mi amore, I shall return the favor after the show.”
With one final caress to your cheek with his hand, he stood, pulling his bright, glittering jacket on one arm at a time. You watched, rosy-cheeked and soft-eyed as he straightened his clothes, checking himself out in the mirror. Of course he looked over everything except his hair.
You snapped out of your lightheaded stupor with a second of time to remain, shooting to your feet, “Wait!”
He turned towards you and you wiped your damp hands on your thigh-highs before reaching up to smooth his soft hair back into place. You covered his eyes and with your dominant hand snagged the miniature can of hairspray out of your stash of supplies to fix everything back in place.
You’d be damned if you didn’t do your job.
Papa grabbed you by your collar once you dropped your hands, kissing you once more before heading back on stage. The scent of hairspray, his cologne, and sweat created a haze for you to dream in, thinking of the implications of his words from earlier.
You couldn’t wait for him to return the favor.
#the band ghost x reader smut#the band ghost x reader#papa emeritus iv x reader#copia x reader smut#cardinal copia x reader smut#papa emeritus x reader smut
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Oh links would be amazing thank you!
this is most of them! all are tumblr links. there’s definitely a few I’m missing. unfortunately, you can only read burn with me on ao3 but @angellayercake has a few referrals if you want to take her up on them!
gloves - cardinal terzo x female!reader (spicy content)
the wedding guest - terzo x female!reader (spicy content)
the devil’s damsel (part one/part two) - cardinal secondo x female!reader (PLEASE READ THE WARNINGS!!)
the rose - this is kinda goofy but also a lil sad. terzo thinks about his days as a youngster
kazoo comfort- retired terzo x gn!reader
devotion- cardinal copia x female!reader (spicy content)
upiór (part one/part two/part three/part four) - terzo x female!reader & cardinal copia x female!reader (spicy!!!)
the cardinal’s cure - cardinal terzo x female!reader (spicy)
have some sympathy and some taste - dracopia x female!reader (spicy)
cemetery stroll - werewolf!secondo x female!reader (spicy)
cirice - vampire!terzo x female!reader (spicy)
oops - cardinal copia x succubus!reader (spicy)
road rage - cardinal copia x female!reader (spicy)
restroom detour - cardinal copia x female!reader (spicy)
somethin’ spooky - papa emeritus iv x female!reader (spicy)
#my fics#ghost fanfic#ghost fanfiction#ghost fanfics#papa emeritus x reader#papa emeritus ii x reader#papa emeritus iii x reader#cardinal copia x reader#papa emeritus iv x reader#papa emeritus#papa emeritus i#papa emeritus ii#papa emeritus iii#cardinal copia#papa emeritus iv#primo#secondo#terzo#copia
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Heyy ghestie!!
Goofy art request I beg of thee, either Plopia and Plushia having a tea party, or some dracopia content?? 👉👈 👀
Hope you have a nice day/night muah muah!
The fangs r fake lol
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📚 here is a pile of books to find out about one of your fic ideas 💙
Well, here's the thing...
I had this idea for an AU (obviously) Dracopia story that takes place in New Orleans. A group of ghost hunters with a cheesy YouTube channel go there to investigate a very run-down old Garden District mansion that is supposedly supremely haunted - everyone who goes to investigate it never comes back. Turns out it's not ghosts there, but vampires. I wanted to include the entire Emeritus clan, and also Mary Goore as Dracopia's familiar. (I picture Mary with a Cajun accent - that does a l'il sumtin sumtin to me, y'know what I'm saying? 😳🥵)
It was also going to involve an epic lovers-across-time sort of story, kind of inspired by my love for old-timey Dark Shadows re-runs and that Mad Gallica song "Souls on Fire."
But then I started watching What We Do In The Shadows and my sexy brain rot turned into goofy silly vampire brother hi-jinx... so now I have no idea where I'm going with this.
My brain is basically a rock tumbler of ideas at this point. Every once in a while I open it up and pull out something shiny and say "Ooooh pretty!"
But thanks for asking, my friend!! 💜🖤💜🖤
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It's just after 3AM, and you know what I'm gonna do instead of sleeping? That's right, I'm gonna draw goofy Dracopia bc SOMEONE gave me brainrot
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Day 31 Favorite Ghost Moment I have way too many so I'll do a few more recent. First introduction to my beautiful goofy secretly evil ratboy, the beautiful Rats video, white suit, Copia singing enter sandman, the origin of Nihil's skull paint, Dracopia's cape. Also pretty much everything Copia says and does honestly. 🖤👻 #ghost #ghostbc #TheBandGhost #tobiasforge #cardnialcopia #copiaiskillingme #copiasthighs #unholythot #hiseminence #thunderthighsratpackage #smothermewiththighs #unholythighs #killingmesoftlywithhisthighs #apaletournameddeath https://www.instagram.com/p/BpmQlK2HCmN/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1osqwm3324ef2
#ghost#ghostbc#thebandghost#tobiasforge#cardnialcopia#copiaiskillingme#copiasthighs#unholythot#hiseminence#thunderthighsratpackage#smothermewiththighs#unholythighs#killingmesoftlywithhisthighs#apaletournameddeath
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𖤐 Serious Killer
Chapter 6. Grazie, amico mio... <ao3 link (4k+ words)
You look for the Cardinal to apologize for talking bad to him, you look everywhere for him after embarrassing yourself at the ball, but instead you find someone else, someone who is about to put together the dots of the strange things that happen in the abbey, which is a risk for you, but especially for the missing Cardinal...
Tags: Epic friendship- Dracopia/Cardinal Copia/Reader, SFW
@nocturnal-birb @ghestie93
#the band ghost#ghost fanfiction#dracopia#goofy dracopia#gn reader#epic friendship#ghost band#cardinal copia#my writing
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𖤐 Serious Killer
Chapter 8. A Nasty Little Thing < AO3 Link
Summary: Changes are announced in the abbey, which cannot be resisted, because they are understaffed, it seems that a change is not a bad idea, even if the changes are brought by a little person who is not so pleasant to everyone, how to deny something with good intentions behind?
Tags: Epic friendship- Dracopia/Cardinal Copia/Reader, SFW
@nocturnal-birb @ghestie93
#the band ghost#ghost fanfiction#dracopia#goofy dracopia#epic friendship#ghost band#cardinal copia#my writing
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𖤐 Serious Killer
Chapter 7. Damage Count < AO3 Link
Summary: We're here in the aftermath of the incident that happened in the abbbey we will see how everyone has been after a few weeks and with the expectation of good news.
Tags: Epic friendship- Dracopia/Cardinal Copia/Reader, SFW
#the band ghost#ghost fanfiction#dracopia#goofy dracopia#epic friendship#ghost band#cardinal copia#my writing
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reblogging this for this tag cause I also expected a goofy ass Dracopia
I love dark Dracopia, I really do but hear me out- imagine there's like rumors or legends of Dracopia being this terrifying creature of the night in a town. Everyone's terrified of his image (like Dracula) and you barge into his home without knowing about said rumor cause you just happen to get into an accident and needed a place to stay and whatnot
Eventually, you meets Dracopia but he's not this terrifying vampire people ought to describe, in fact, he's the most awkward motherfucking vampire you met (kinda like What We Do In The Shadows type of vampire)-
The first meeting with him was catching him feeding on some animal and you running away thinking you're the next meal and Copia chases you and catches you but he's like explaining in the most awkward and confusing way a person can and you're just praying instead of his mercy but for him to not be so painfully silly and awkward while he tries to explain what he was doing
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