#goodfellasimagine

[valyntynamaro]

it’s just business baby - A Jimmy Conway imagine

Jimmy Conway imagine.  [TW: Depictions of kidnap, abuse and suicidal thoughts.] (for my friend @thisisn0tal0vest0ry, also i’ve not watched Goodfellas so i’m sorry if I got any characterisation wrong ladiesssss)

You always knew what you were getting yourself into marrying him, you knew the risk that would come with this life that you have chosen for yourself, but you knew that you couldn't help yourself you were so drawn in by him that the threat to your life being with him could pose didn't even cross your mind when he got down on one knee and asked for your hand in marriage. Jimmy Conway was, without a doubt, the love of your life and you'd do anything for him- not that he'd ever ask anything of you because he could get anything that he wanted at the click of his fingers. He too knew too well how dangerous this life he lead was and he knew the toll it would take on you but just as yourself he could neither deny the connection and passion between the two of you.

Promises. Promises, like tradition, should always be honored, that was a firm belief you held a real moral deal breaker. Jimmy had promised to protect your life, he swore on his life and that of your family that he would never let anything bad happen to you for as long as you lived. So why? you wondered, so how? you ached to know- why had you ended up gagged and bound in the back of a car. Your mind raced with ideas, who had taken you? had you been drugged? where were they taking you?- but no answers. You tried to scream but the cloth in your mouth prohibited your efforts, a single tear rolled down your face- for the first time in your life you felt real, raw and uncontrollable fear. You imagined the worst possible scenario's in your head, a force of habit of your own pessimistic nature. In that moment you thought about your dear husband, where was he? would he come after you? Of course he would, you thought to yourself. He promised.

A substantial amount of time passed before you felt the car come to a halt, your breathing became rapid and you braced yourself for whatever or whomever you would face on the outside. Shutting your eyes tight you started to shake again, your anxiety rising at an alarming rate, you felt as though this might be the end fo the road, literally, doomed, your fate must've been set right there and then you believed truly, you would be to die here tonight.

The trunk was opened and you felt a pair of course hands grab you by the restraints around your wrist, pulling you up and out of the car. You didn't dare look at who was in front of you, that would make this whole situation that much worse, putting a face to the evil would make it all too real and you were still holding onto the very slight chance that this was all a dream and that in a moments notice you would wake up in Jimmy's arms. Really, you knew that wasn't the case but you just had trouble admitting that to yourself, when threatened your brain tends to create false realities in which everything is fine, you just wanted to slip away, so you wouldn't have to endure the trauma's you knew people were capable of.

That's one thing you've become accustomed to by being with Jimmy, the evil that resides in this world. At first the murders and the brutality bothered you but after years and years of battling the morality of it all in your mind you came to accept the fact that it's just the way of life, some people are despicable and choose to live their lives as thus, and then there’s people who just go about their business trying to do the best by people, though everyone has evil and sinful thoughts from time to time. Even you could admit to letting your morality slip every now and then, when Jimmy would come home and tell you about a real piece of work he had met that day and all the things they'd done, but strangely you'd never think anything of it when Jimmy had committed a violent and brutal act against someone, love must've blinded you from seeing the worst in your husband, even though you knew at times he could be just as bad at the people he would tell you about.

Still not yet opened your eyes, you heard voice all around you, you had surely been surrounded. "Why don't we just kill the broad now? get her out of the way, make him pay?" One unidentified man laughed, a thick Bronx accent shining through his speech. 

"You heard the boss, we don't touch her, we have to wait" another reprimanded, who was the boss? you wondered, you thought about asking but for one you were still gagged and two you were just too afraid of what would happen to you if you did choose to question them.

"okay but would he even notice if we just touched her a little? like what if just hit her...just a few times?" the first man practically salivated at the idea of hurting you, your stomach dropped as you could basically hear the excitement in his voice as he spoke about what he would like to do to you, you were just thankful it was nothing too extreme.

"Boss said no, now cut it and just get him will you!?" the man who held you still asked of the offender impatiently.

"When did you become so boring, man!?" the first man huffs and his footsteps become fainter as he exits the room.

Memories of the events that happened just before you were taken started flooding back, as the pounding in your head became weaker, you remember just putting the twins to bed, you felt a pang of guilt in your stomach as you hoped to God that they hadn't been touched or even worse...you didn't want to think about that, if you didn't think about it, it didn't happen...right?

"Mommy...why is daddy always out late?" your daughter, Delilah, the oldest twin asks as you place a soft maternal kiss to her forehead after tucking her into bed tightly. "You know that daddy's gotta work sweet one" you sigh, it made you sad that your kids were beginning to notice the strange pattern in which your husband worked, sometimes he'd be gone for days at a time on what he called 'business', but you knew better...it wasn't 'business', he was most likely robbing someone out of town. As much as your admired your husband and his work ethic, you hoped and prayed that your children wouldn't follow in his lead and take over what he does, that isn’t the life you had planned for your children, you wanted them to be safe and happy. “I know mama, i just miss him” she pulls the covers closer to her little face and settles into the pillow, just about falling asleep. “I miss him too angel, we all do, but how are we gonna eat if daddy doesn’t work?” you repeat the same bedtime routine on your little boy, Blake, placing an identical kiss on his forehead.  “sweet dreams” you smiled as you turned out the lights and closed the door, you were so proud of your kids and so proud of yourself and Jimmy for actually managing to build a stable family and home given the unusual circumstances.

You had just settled down on the couch, ready to tuck into your supper, left over pizza, when there was a pounding at the front door. Who could it be at this hour? it was well past 9 in the evening and you didn’t usually get callers when Jimmy was away, especially not at this time of day. Cautiously you got up, placing your tray down on the table in front of, as you slowly made your way through the large hallway the banging got louder so you sped up, in fear that the noise would disturb your children. When you opened it you didn’t even get a chance to see who it was before a heavy object met with your head and you were knocked out, when you came to you were in the trunk of the car.

-

“what did I tell you idiots!? huh!?” A bellowing voice startled you, you began to shake in fear again, you instantly recognized who the voice belonged to but you didn’t want to believe it, you didn’t possibly want to think about what will become of you if you are in the presence of the man you think you are. “I don’t know Boss...” the man who had been holding you this entire time confessed, sounding more shy and afraid than he had been when talking down to his colleague beforehand, though you could understand his fear, you felt the same.  “I told you to tie the girl up! what are you!? fucking stupid!?” The ‘Boss’ scolds his employee, you felt the mans grip of you weaken as he grew more afraid of the man in front of him. “I h-have Boss” his palms grew sweatier, you took a bit of pleasure out of knowing that this man was afraid, people like him deserve to feel fear, they deserve to feel how they make others feel, when usually they carry out their duties with no remorse whatsoever.  “I meant tie her up, suspend her idiot! Jesus fucking Christ! why do I pay you goon!? WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR!? TIE HER UP THEN!” He shouts, making the two of you jump, the man handling you lets go of you, pushing you to the floor with a thud, you hit your head slightly and yelp. 

“Oh, so you’re awake are you sweetheart? i’m glad, then you’ll be able to feel everything I do to you, every hit, every cut and finally...well I won’t spoil the surprise” You open your eyes to see the man you feared to see stood, looming over you, like a dark cloud. Paulie. Your face drained of color and your throat became dry, you surely weren’t going to make it out of here alive. 

Within a few minutes you were suspended in the air, held only by your wrists, like Jesus on the cross. You were dressed only in a tank top and some of Jimmy’s shorts, you liked to wear his clothes when he was away, it reminded you of him and why you stayed strong when you felt like you couldn’t cope without him around.

“Aren’t you a beauty” Paulie hissed, running his clammy and disgusting hands down your body, you squirmed at his touch, immediately feeling the urge to run into the shower and bleach your entire body clean, to get rid of his touch, how unclean and impure you felt in that moment, but there was nothing you could do but endure it, with tears pricking at your eyes as he ran his hands all down your body, grabbing at your hips, breasts and butt, you wanted to kick him, to punch him but you were stuck exactly as you were. 

By now, tears were fully streaming down your face and you saw a grin appear on Paulies face as he noticed that you had begun sobbing, hard. “Now, lets see what you’ve got on under here shall we?” Paulie is handed a small blade by the man who had been restraining you before, your eyes widened at the sudden realisation of what was going to happen, your breathing again became unruly and you could barely keep still, trying your hardest to free yourself from the rope that was holding you, but it was no use, you could feel your wrists starting to bruise from the pressure. 

“stay still you bitch! do you want me to cut you?” he takes the balde to the hem of your tank top and cuts upwards, the sound of the fabric ripping made you feel sick, you wanted to throw up, you wanted to scream but no noise felt your throat, you felt paralyzed, frozen. 

You saw one of his hands reach for your chest, your sobs became louder and you managed to make some muffled yells, you thought that you might die there that night, or at least you wished that you would after he had been done with you, you knew what was going to happen and you knew exactly how you would feel afterwards, you already felt and overwhelming amount of disgust.

All of a sudden your ears began to rang and the sound of guns being fired filled the room, one by one all of Paulie’s henchmen had been taken out so all that was left in the room as Paulie yourself and....Jimmy. He had come to save you just as you thought all hope was lost and that you were never going to see him or your kids ever again, just as you had about given up on life.

“get your hands off my wife, Paulie!” Jimmy points the gun at Paulie, not even shaking, you knew that if Paulie tried anything he wouldn’t hesitate to kill him, not for one second. On the other hand, you knew Paulie was exactly the same and if Jimmy tried anything, you knew he would kill you, without a doubt.

“finally, you’re here, I thought you were never gonna show up jimmy!” Paulie laughs, letting go of you and stepping towards your husband.~ “What do you want from me? I’ll give you anything you want just let my girl go!” Jimmy states calmly, still not moving the gun out of Paulie’s face. 

“5 million” Paulie states blankly, turning to face you again he runs his hand down your exposed chest, right in front of Jimmy, you knew exactly what he was doing, he was trying to get Jimmy riled up so he’d either give him the money...or do something reckless-which was out of character for Jimmy he would only usually lose his cool if someone really pushed him, Paulie was pushing him.

“5 million dollars? that’s what you kidnapped and traumatised my wife for? 5 million fucking dollars!?” you saw the vein in the side of Jimmy head begin to bulge, he was getting close to losing his cool and you feared what he might do to Paulie, sure he probably deserved whatever Jimmy would do to him but you didn’t want to be the cause of it. 

“well you know how I like to keep people on their toes” he smirks, moving more towards Jimmy, leaving you completely, it was only then you realised how exposed you were and felt the immediate need to cover yourself up but you still couldn’t move. 

“you’re a real fucking asshole Paulie, you know that? a real piece of fucking work, untie her and you’ll get your money” Jimmy spat, lowering his gun so it was now by his side.

“I would but, you shot my men so i’m afraid you’ll have to do it” he threw the knife down by your husband, this seemed strange to you, why would he just willingly let him untie you, knowing that Jimmy will probably just run without giving him the money, you felt uneasy as Jimmy walked towards you, grabbing the knife, something was wrong. 

He cut loose both your arms and you fell to floor limply, your body aching from being suspended so long, you could barely move your arms, Jimmy takes off his jacket and puts it round you, you smile smally as he kisses you on the top of the head. 

He props himself up on one knee and he begins to get up, that’s when you realised, the moment you knew what Paulie was doing, your gut sunk and your eyes widened in horror as it appeared that time was flowing in slow motion as Jimmy continued to get up, a dull bang filled your eyes, it stung and you knew exactly what happened, your hands flew to cover your face as your husband slowly fell back to the ground landing just beside you. 

Time sped back up and he was just lying there, limp on the floor like a ragdoll, his mouth wide open and so were his eyes, looking directly into yours as blood poured continuously from the hole that now bore into his forehead, you screamed, tears flowing faster than they had all night, you didn’t even know what to do, you just sat there and sobbed. Scrambling over to your dearest husbands body, holding and shaking him but to no avail.

“You asshole! you fucking asshole! you killed him!” you screamed, hugging into your still warm husbands still chest, your cries were just met with a dark laugh from Paulie.

“It’s just business baby” he laughs and turns his back to walk away, you didn’t know what came over you but all you could feel was the overwhelming feeling of rage, you knew you weren’t going to like what you were about to do but you couldn’t seem to stop your arm from leaning over to grab the gun that was beside Jimmy, the one he had been pointing a Paulie minutes ago. 

without even saying a word, you shot Paulie, you had never fired a gun before so your aim was a little off, you fired and fired until the gun was empty but luckily it was enough for Paulie to fall to the floor with a pained scream. 

“it’s just business baby” you said coldly, doing up the jacket that Jimmy had placed around you before lying beside your husband, just to hold him one last time.