#good morning y'all i can be trusted to wake up and act natural around my favorite antagonist

[yakool-foolio]

Hitman Zilch is like The Thing but if all the body horror was off-screen. Hitman Zilch is the werewolf wielding the gun loaded with silver bullets. Hitman Zilch is the desired weapon of choice. Hitman Zilch is the bearer of countless masks that seep into his skull until he is Hitman Zilch no more.

Hitman Zilch is Hitman Zilch? Sure, let's go with that. No one will know or love you better than the titles you've been handed, anyway. That's what you should want. It's what you've been taught.

[murvinetaylor-blog]

The Second Blow: Chapter 8: The Babysitter

Mrs. Puff drove the girls to her house from school that Monday afternoon. She had physical therapy later on at five and didn't think the girls could be trusted alone. She knew that they would try to sneak out.

While Mrs. Puff was driving Pearl, Anna, and Lana, she told the girls, "I have to take physical therapy later on at five o' clock today and I cannot trust you three by yourselves, therefore, I am hiring a babysitter."

"But Mrs. Puff," Pearl said, "We are sixteen, not six. We do not need a babysitter."

"Well, you act like six year olds, so I will treat you like six year olds," Mrs. Puff said.

Lana then asked, "Are you trying to ruin our lives? Do you know how embarrassing it is for you to treat us like this? Speaking of which, I got bullied today for being faceless."

Mrs. Puff then responded, "Well I am supposed to start teaching again tomorrow and do you know how embarrassing for me it is to be a puffer fish that can't puff. My students will probably bully me, so I think you deserved to be faceless."

As soon as they got to Mrs. Puff's house, Mrs. Puff told them, "Your babysitter will be here in thirty minutes, and he is going to make sure that you are doing your homework and chores and if I get any negative reports, I will beat you up."

"How," Anna said, "You are still in that walker."

Mrs. Puff then said, "I have my ways."

As soon as the doorbell rang, Mrs. Puff went to answer it. Outside was none other than Patrick Star, SpongeBob's best friend. "Why hello Mrs. Puff," Patrick said, "I see you have lost a lot of weight."

Mrs. Puff then said awkwardly, "Yeah, thanks for noticing."

"So you want me to babysit three girls?" Patrick asked.

Mrs. Puff then said, "Yes. You are to watch them. Make sure they don't sneak out and that they do their homework and chores and when I come back, let me know how they behaved. I should be back a little after six."

She then handed Patrick a piece of paper. "This is my number. Call me if there is an emergency."

"Okay, Mrs. Puff," Patrick said.

"I will see you after my physical therapy appointment," Mrs. Puff said, and she went to her boat and drove off.

As soon as Mrs. Puff was gone, Patrick then said, "What was I supposed to do again? Wait, I know; sit on the couch and watch TV."

Patrick then sat down on Mrs. Puff's couch and cut on the TV. While he was watching, Patrick said, "Ha, ha! I love this show. It is so funny."

While Patrick was watching TV, Pearl whispered to her friends, "I know what to do; let's sneak out while Patrick isn't looking."

Lana then said, "But what about my face? I can't go anywhere without my face. Everyone will laugh at me or be scared away."

"We have tried searching everywhere for your face last night while Mrs. Puff was sleeping, but it isn't anywhere," Pearl said, "Mrs. Puff may have thrown it away."

"Then check in the trash," Lana said, still whispering.

"We've already checked in there," Anna said, "You are just going to have to put a bag over your head."

Lana then grabbed a bag from the kitchen closet and found a pair of scissors on the counter. She then cut two holes into the bag for her eyes and put it on her head.

"How do I look?" Lana asked.

"You look less scary," Pearl said, "Now let's get the heck out of here."

As soon as the girls got out, Lana said, "Well, I have learned to look on the bright side because at least I don't have to worry about how my hair looks."

"True," Anna said, "but does that mean you want to wear a bag on your head for the rest of your life?"

"Na," Lana said, "Just until I can find my face or get surgery for a new one."

As the girls continued to walk, Pearl said, "Man, I feel like we broke out of jail."

"I agree," Lana said.

"This is great," Anna said, "But are you sure we won't get caught?"

Pearl then said, "Caught, smought. We'll be fine, unless_"

Mrs. Puff was driving towards them and finally stopped.

"OH NO!" cried the girls.

"Get in my boat," Mrs. Puff said, angrily, "NOW!"

"Let's run," Pearl said.

The girls then took off running. But Mrs. Puff started chasing them with her boat the same way she tried to chase SpongeBob, while driving that tractor in the demolition derby that they were in. The girls continued to run until they were in the kelp forest. They were huffing and puffing, gasping for breath.

"I think we lost her," Anna said.

"Good," Pearl said, "Because I am so sweaty that I think my make-up is starting to smear and my hair and clothes are messed up."

"Let's just take a nap," Lana said, "And then we will find a place to stay."

The girls then fell asleep on the ground and slept for a long time. The next morning however, they woke up in Mrs. Puff's basement.

"Where are we?" Pearl said, waking up, "Are we dead?"

"No, but you are going to wish you were," said a voice that sounded like Mrs. Puff and when Pearl turned around, it was Mrs. Puff. She also turned to the mirror to find out that her face got cut off.

"AHHHH!" Pearl screamed, "WHERE'S MY FACE?!"

"I have cut it off," Mrs. Puff said, "Just like what I did to Lana. I have also removed Anna's face too."

Anna then woke up and said, "Say what?" She turned to the mirror and let out a loud birdlike scream.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"That is right girls," Mrs. Puff said, "And you will be faceless for the rest of your natural born lives. Muwahahahaha!"

Mrs. Puff never felt so good about herself.

"Now girls, I had to fire your babysitter because he did a poor job at watching you three douchebags, so tomorrow, y'all will be coming with me to my appointment with my rehabilitation psychologist."

The girls looked at each other in horror and started screaming at the sight of each other having no face.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!"