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#Funny #LOL #Memes

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I can’t express how much I loved this

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Movin' in With Quagmire: Ch. 9 and 10 (final chapters)

Ch. 9: 1st Brian, Now Stewie

The next morning, Brian and Quagmire woke up with a surprise..

"Stewie? What the hell are you doing here?" Brian wondered at the sight of Stewie laying wide awake.

Stewie responded, "Oh, hey Brian. Did you miss me?"

Quagmire then asked, "Stewie what are you doing here?"

The baby explained, "I decided to move in with you because I need Brian, but he will never move back in with us. Please, Mr. Quagmire, Brian is my only friend and the only one to make my life bearable. He was always there for me and I want to be there for him."

Quagmire did not know what to say. Looking at the expression on Stewie's face made it hard for him to say "no" but he knew he could not take care of both an injured dog and a baby. Sure he did have a baby at some point, but even it was too hard for him to care for, which was why he ended up putting her for adoption.

Quagmire finally said, "Stewie, I know how much you miss Brian, but sometimes we have to move on."

Stewie then teared up, "I can't move on. I can't knowing that he's hurt and I'm not there for him. Like I said before, he was always there for me. In fact, he was there for the whole family."

Quagmire replied, "And I'm there for him too. Trust me Stewie, it's going to get better."

"I just want my friend back and I want everything to be normal again. I mean, not that our family was ever normal, but you know what I mean," Stewie said still crying.

Brian and Quagmire could not help but feel bad for Stewie.

"Man, poor Stewie," Brian said to Quagmire.

Quagmire replied, "I know. He doesn't seem to be taking this very well."

Stewie continued to cry even longer. Finally, Quagmire wrapped an arm around him and consoled, "Stewie, everything will be okay."

Brian added, "Quagmire's right. Everything will be fine. I would hug you if I wasn't all casted up."

"Wait," responded Stewie, "You want to hug me?"

"Yes," Brian said, "I know how much you miss me."

Stewie replied, "How about I hug you?"

"Sure," Brian said and Stewie hugged him.

Meanwhile, back at the Griffins' house, Lois found the letter that Stewie left in his crib.

"What is this?" Lois said, in response to the letter. After reading it, she finally said, "Oh no. Stewie ran away. First it was Brian and now my little Stewie. Oh, this family is falling apart."

Lois then walked to the bathroom, where Peter was blow-drying his Miley Cyrus haircut.

"PETER!" Lois shouted, as she knocked on the door, "COME OUT!"

"HOLD ON LADY!" Peter shouted, "I'm still fixing my hair."

"PETER! THIS IS AN EMERGENCY! OUR SON, STEWIE RAN AWAY!"

Peter finally cut off the blow-dryer and shouted, "WHAT?"

Lois replied, "STEWIE RAN AWAY!"

Peter then opened the door.

Lois then said, "We will discuss your hair later, but right now we need to notify Chris and Meg of the news.

As soon as everyone gathered into the living room, Lois finally began to break the news to their adolescent kids.

"We have some bad news," Lois began.

"Is the world ending?" Chris wondered.

"Are there going to be more episodes where I get tortured?" Asked Meg.

"No, it's not that," Lois answered, "You know how Brian moved out, right?"

"Right," Chris said.

"Right," Meg added.

"Well," Lois began, "Stewie has also done the same. He ran away to Mr. Quagmire's house to be with Brian."

"WHAT?!" The two shouted.

"I get that Stewie misses Brian," Chris added, "But why would he run away?"

Peter finally stood up and confessed, "This was all because of me. If I hadn't been so selfish and caught up with pretending to be a celebrity that I am not nor hurt my best friend, our pet, and our family member; none of this would have happened. Stewie ran away because he needs Brian, and so do we."

Lois then said, in amazement, "Peter, I'm so glad that you are actually feeling remorse."

Peter replied, "That's because I realized I messed up big time and I need to make it up to him."

Lois suggested, "Well, I think we should go back to Quagmire's house and try to get Brian to come home, which would also get Stewie to come home as well."

"Great idea," Peter remarked.

"Well, what are we waiting for?" Meg replied, "Let's Go."

Peter then replied, "Shut up, Meg."

And so the Griffins went to Quagmire's house and Peter was the one to ring the doorbell.

"Oh, hello, Peter," Quagmire said.

"Hey Quagmire," Peter said, "Is Brian here?"

"He is," Quagmire answered. He then led the Griffins to the bed, where Brian and Stewie were laying in.

"Hey Brian," Peter said.

"Oh hey Peter," Brian replied.

"Hey fatman," Stewie added, rather jokingly.

Peter began, "Brian, you know why we came here today or why I came here?"

"No," Brian replied.

Peter continued, "It's because I wanted to let you know that I'm sorry. I'm sorry I hurt you and never cared for you when you needed it the most. I should have never done that. I should have taken care of you, considering I was the one that injured you. Brian, our family is a wreck and we can't live without you. You made our lives great and we miss that."

Brian then replied, "Peter, I forgive you."

Peter couldn't believe his ears, "You forgive me?"

"Yes," Brian said, "I forgive you because I know I'm going to get better and I know you feel remorse. I also forgive you because you are the reason the feud between me and Quagmire ended. You brought us together. I don't know if I will ever be my old self again, but I know that I'm not forever destroyed."

Peter then said, "So does that mean you will move back in with us?"

Quagmire added, "I think that you should. Your family needs you and guess what. I will come to visit and you can come and visit me again anytime."

Brian finally said, "You know what? I'm moving back in and Quagmire, I have something to say to you."

"What is it?" Quagmire asked.

"Thank you," Brian began, "Thank you for taking care of me. Thank you for helping me cope with my condition. Thank you for keeping me happy. You are a really good friend and one day, I will repay you."

Quagmire then hugged Brian and the two began to cry.

"I'm going to miss you," Quagmire said.

"And I will miss you too," Brian replied, "And I will visit you sometime."

The whole family then began to cry and not a single eye was dry. It was a very emotional moment for everyone.

Ch. 10: Not so Status Quo

After Brian returned home, the Griffins chipped in to take care of him. They did all the things that Quagmire did for him: fed him, took him to get surgery, etc. Peter also stopped pretending to be Miley Cyrus, had his hair changed back, and helped take care of Brian.

As for Quagmire, he felt a sense of both freedom and emptiness, but mostly emptiness. He felt free because he no longer had to take care of Brian, but empty because his new friend and somewhat of a roommate, was now gone. To Quagmire, Brian began to feel like a brother he never had, that finally entered his life, but left again.

Six months later, Brian, who was finally out of the cast, yet on crutches, said to himself, "I don't know how to ever return the favor."

Stewie then chimed, "What favor?"

Brian explained, "The favor of Quagmire helping me while I was casted up."

"Oh that," Stewie replied, "I know what you should do."

Later on, that same day, Quagmire received a letter in the mail. Quagmire opened it up and it read,

Dear Quagmire,

Meet us at our place, Friday at six PM.

Signed,

The Griffins.

That said day and time, Quagmire arrived, but when he entered, the lights were out.

"What is this?" Quagmire wondered.

Suddenly, the lights flickered on and a lot of people popped out shouting,

"SURPRISE!"

"What's going on?" Quagmire wondered.

Just then, Brian walked out saying, "It's a surprise party, to celebrate our friendship and to repay you for what you have done for me."

"Wow," Quagmire responded, "That was so sweet of you."

Everyone then surrounded, the two.

"We are very glad that you became friends the past year," Lois said.

"Thanks, Lois," Quagmire replied.

Brian threw off his crutches for a while and Quagmire crouched down to him. The two then hugged each other.

"Brian," Quagmire began, "Thank you for the party and I'm glad that you are okay."

"No, Quagmire," Brian replied, "Thank you."

Stewie then said, "Okay, enough with the huggies. LET'S PARTY!"

And that is what everyone did. They partied to celebrate this amazing and life changing event that happened between Brian and Quagmire.

A year and a half later, Brian finally got off his crutches and was back to how he was before, except no longer enemies with Quagmire.

[murvinetaylor-blog]

Movin' in With Quagmire: Ch. 7 and 8

Ch. 7: Comforting Brian

That night, Brian laid awake in agony. He could not sleep due to the pain of his shattered bones. He wanted to toss and turn, but it was impossible due to the cast. He thought, When will this end?

The next morning, Quagmire asked Brian, "Hey Brian. Are you feeling any better?"

"Not really," Brian, who had dark circles under his eyes and a pale complexion, replied both tiredly and miserably, "I couldn't sleep because my bones were hurting like hell and I feel very sick."

"Oh you poor thing," Quagmire replied, as he petted Brian.

Brian then said, in response to Quagmire's petting, "That actually does make me feel a little better."

"Well, why don't I make us some breakfast?" Quagmire then said.

"Okay," Brian replied, still feeling tired.

Quagmire went downstairs took cook fix the food. Thirty minutes later, Quagmire walked back upstairs with the food. He then took one of Brian's pills, put it into a sausage, and fed it to Brian.

As soon as he was finished eating it, Brian said, "Thanks Quagmire. You've been really good to me."

Suddenly, Quagmire's phone started to buzz.

"Hold on," Quagmire said to Brian. He then answered the phone and said, "Hello . . . oh hey Lacy . . . look it's not that I don't like you. The reason I can't take you on a date is because I have to take care of a hurt dog, who is sick right now . . . What do you want me to do; leave Brian all by himself? . . . He can't fucking move, what do you expect? . . . HE'S IN A FUCKING BODY CAST! DAMN IT! . . . BYE!"

Quagmire then hung up and explained, "That was Lacy, my girlfriend who has just dumped me thirty seconds ago."

"I'm sorry to hear that," Brian replied.

"It'll be fine," Quagmire replied, "Besides, there are other women to bang and Lacy wasn't hot enough. Now, is there anything that I can do to make you feel more comfortable?"

"Some extra pillows would be nice," Brian then said.

Quagmire then said, "I'll get you some. I'll be right back."

He then left the room and came back with two more large white pillows. He placed them under Brian's body.

"How's this?" Quagmire asked.

"I do feel more comfortable," Brian answered, "Thanks Quagmire."

"Oh it's nothing," Quagmire then said and to himself, he mumbled, "I can't believe Lacy had to be so uncompassionate."

Brian replied, "I know exactly how you feel, but you know what, if Lacy can't be compassionate enough to understand this situation, then she doesn't deserve you. She probably is hurting herself more than she is hurting you, as she had given herself a bad reputation; the reputation of being the kind of woman who doesn't care if her boyfriend has to take care of someone."

"Brian, that was some pretty good advice," Quagmire responded, "I'm going to try to remember that."

"Hopefully you will find someone who is understanding," Brian then added on.

"Thanks, Brian. That means so much to me," Quagmire replied.

Brian then chuckled slightly and said, "Well, they don't call me the 'voice of reason' for nothing."

Quagmire then said, "Say, if you are well enough, would you like to hang out with Joe and Cleveland, this Saturday?"

Brian could not believe what he just heard. Hanging out with Peter's group of friends was something that Brian wanted to do, but Quagmire's hatred towards him kept that from happening.

Brian finally said, "I would love that."

"Well I'm glad," Quagmire then said, "Now you need to get some rest. Let me know if you need anything."

Brian rested the rest of the morning. At around twelve o'clock, Quagmire came in, carrying a plate with a juicy steak on it.

"Hey Brian," Quagmire said, "I got you something."

When Brian smelled it, he then said, enthusiastically, "Is that steak! Because I love steak."

He then panted his tongue and tried to jump, only to remember that he was in a full body cast.

"Damn it," Brian responded to his immobility. He then thought, I can see what Joe has to go through.

Quagmire placed the plate down and cut the steak into a few pieces. He then started feeding Brian. After he was done eating, Brian then said, "Wow. Thanks Quagmire. That steak was so frickin' good."

"I'm glad you liked it," Quagmire replied, and as he petted Brian, he said, "You're such a good boy."

"Aww, Quagmire," Brian responded, "I'm feeling better already."

Ch. 8: Friendship up a level

When Saturday night rolled around, Quagmire and Brian arrived to the Drunken Clam, where they met Joe and Cleveland.

"Hey Quagmire," Cleveland said, "and Brian. Long time no see."

"Hey guys," Joe added, "Say, I'm a little confused."

"Me too," pointed Cleveland, "I thought you two hated each other."

"We did hate each other," Quagmire addressed.

Brian then added, "But we finally made up. In fact this guy has been taking care of me."

"What happened to you?" Cleveland wondered.

"Yeah," Joe restated, "What did happen to you?"

Brian then began to explain the story. He talked about how he got hit by the wrecking ball and how his family did not want to help him because he was not human. He also brought up Quagmire's shocking concern.

Telling his side of the story, Quagmire began, "My hatred towards him got replaced with sympathy and concern, and that sympathy and concern combined with Brian appreciating my hospitality brought us both together."

"So you've been spending all of your time taking care of Brian?" Joe responded.

"Pretty much," Quagmire answered, "I went from pervert to caretaker."

Brian then said, "His care humbled me. I never felt so in need like this before, but I also never felt this cared about."

"Wow, Quagmire has really turned over a new leaf," Joe responded, "But let's hope that he didn't lose his giggity."

"Don't worry," Quagmire replied, "I still got it. I just put it aside. That's all."

Changing the subject, Cleveland then suggested, "How about we play, 'Would you rather?"

Brian then said, "Sounds great."

"Just like old times," Quagmire added.

"YEAH! LET'S DO THIS!" Joe shouted.

Cleveland then asked, "Okay. Would you rather have sex with a pole or with an anaconda?"

Brian then joked, "It depends. If the second don't want none unless there's buns, then I go with it."

"I agree with Brian," Quagmire added, "I'd pick the one that's the most giggity, but then again, I already have an anaconda, so maybe I should go with the pole."

"But what if the anaconda is female?" Cleveland asked jokingly.

"Then I go with the anaconda," Quagmire said, "And if the anaconda were male and I was female, same thing."

A male anaconda and a female blonde were in the same bed.

"So, how are we going to have sex?" The female blonde wondered.

The anaconda then replied, "I will just slither inside your you know what."

The female human then agreed, "Great idea."

From inside the house, to outside, an excited squeal was heard.

"OH YEAH BABY! GET IN THERE! WOOOOOO!"

Meanwhile, it was Stewie's bedtime, yet he had trouble sleeping. Stewie felt a combination of happiness and sadness. Stewie shed a few tears and his heart hurt really bad, yet still smiled. Stewie could not stand this feeling. He still had his time machine to stop Brian from getting hurt, but he then would have stopped him and Quagmire from getting along and would then feel terrible for ruining such an amazing thing, but he also depressed that an amazing thing for himself and Brian was ruined.

"I'm glad that Brian and Mr. Quagmire are friends," he choked, "but I miss Brian and I'm lonely."

For four long hours, Stewie thought the whole situation over and the possible solutions. Finally, he lit up and said, "I know what I must do."

Stewie then grabbed a backpack and started packing his stuff. He then said to Rubert, his Teddy, "Rubert, we are running away to find Brian and be with him once again . . . Who cares about the rest of the family? Brian is my only friend and I am going to get him back."

He then pulled out a sheet of paper and wrote with a crayon,

Dear family,

I have ran away from home to be with Brian again, so don't bother to try to bring me home. It's for the best. Brian is my only friend and I am going to take care of him the same way he takes care of me.

Signed, Stewie

PS. Shut up, Meg.

Stewie then snuck out the window, with his rope shooter; got on his trike; and headed to Quagmire's house. Nothing was going to stop him from reuniting with his canine friend.

[murvinetaylor-blog]

Movin' in With Quagmire: Ch. 5 and 6

Ch. 5: Brian, come home

That next morning, at the Griffin's house, Peter put on make-up, fixed his Miley Cyrus haircut and then went to the door, only to be stopped by Lois.

"Where do you think you're going?" Lois asked firmly.

"I'm going to visit my fans," Peter explained.

"No you are not," Lois said, "because we, including you, are going to visit Brian and try to get him to come home."

"But why?" Peter wondered.

"Peter, Brian is the voice of reason," Lois explained, "Our family has fallen apart ever since he left. The kids have been fighting, you won't stop pretending to be Miley Cyrus, and I am going CRAZY!"

Soon, Chris, Meg, and Stewie rolled down the stairs beating each other up.

"See what I mean?" Lois added.

"Okay," Peter said, "But you're the one who refused to pay for Brian's medical expenses."

"Well," Lois said, "It was wrong of me, but it was also wrong of you to injure Brian, feel no remorse for it, and pretend to be Miley Cyrus."

The kids continued to fight until Lois shouted, "KIDS, STOP FIGHTING!" And all three settled down. Meg, Chris and Stewie, but mostly Meg, were all covered in bruises.

"Now," began Lois, "I have made a get well card for Brian. It is on the kitchen table and I need each and every one of you to sign it."

She then led everyone into the kitchen where a big card was standing upright on the table.

"I have written," Lois said and then began to read aloud, "Dear Brian, We hope you get well soon. Peter is sorry he hurt you and we are sorry we never helped you when you needed it. We hope that you will find it in your heart to forgive us, as we miss you very much. Things haven't been the same since you were gone and even though you are atheist, you are still in our thoughts and prayers. Love your family."

"Aww, that is so sweet Mom," said Meg and Peter replied with his usual

"Shut up, Meg."

"Actually," Chris began, "Meg's right. This card is sweet."

"I agree," Stewie said and then sighed, "I really miss Brian. He was my only friend and now all I have is my imaginary friend named Todd, but he isn't as good as Brian."

"What's wrong with Todd?" Chris wondered.

"Are you a dumbass? Todd is such a douche. He is constantly getting me in trouble," Stewie answered.

Stewie was sitting on the sofa, eating cookies, until Lois entered the room.

"Stewie, have you been stealing cookies from the cookie jar?" Lois asked.

"Why are you pinning the blame on me?" Stewie responded, "Todd did it."

"Stewie," Lois said, "I know it was you."

"It wasn't me," Stewie protested.

After everyone signed the card, Lois said to the kids, "Now let's go and visit Mr. Quagmire and Brian."

Peter then moaned, "But what about my fans?"

"That's too bad Peter," Lois pointed, "and after we visit, I will schedule an appointment with my hairdresser to have your hair changed back. Now go upstairs and wash off that makeup."

"But Lois," Peter started to say.

"Do it," Lois demanded.

After Peter removed the makeup, everyone went to Quagmire's house and rang the doorbell.

Quagmire answered and said, "Hey Peter, Lois, Meg, Chris and Stewie. What brings you all here?"

"Hey Glenn," Lois said, "We came by to bring Brian this get well card and to talk to him."

"Sure, come on in," Quagmire said, "He is in the living room."

The family entered the house and saw Brian, who was lying on the sofa bed.

"Hey Brian," Lois said, "How are you feeling?"

"Fine, until you got here," Brian said rather pissed.

"Brian don't be like that," Lois said, "We really miss you and we came here to give you a get well card and to ask you to please come back home."

"Why would I come home with you?" replied Brian, "After what you have done to me I never want to come back home."

Meg then said to Brian, "Brian the family has fallen apart without you and you are the only one in the family who cares about me."

"Yeah," Stewie said, "And you are my only friend."

Chris then said, "I agree. Please Brian."

Everyone, except Peter began to cry.

"We're really sorry," Lois choked.

"Well is that fat bastard Peter sorry?!" Brian began to raise his voice, "WELL IS HE?!"

Lois, who was still in tears, then said to her husband, "Peter, what do you have to say to Brian?"

Peter replied, "I am pissed off that Lois is going to schedule me an appointment to have my hair changed back."

"Peter," Lois said rather shocked, "I thought you two were friends. I can't believe you."

Peter then said, "Lois, I have learned to live without a dog. Now if you will excuse me, I'm going to visit my fans."

"Actually Peter," Quagmire said, "Your so called fans are at the real Miley's concert."

As he snapped his fingers, Peter said, "Damn."

"Peter," Quagmire said, "You are really not yourself. I mean you are still idiotic, but since when did you start to hate Brian?"

"He made fun of my hairdo," Peter said, "And since when did you start to care about Brian?"

"Wait," Quagmire said, "You don't care that Brian is hurt all because he insulted your haircut?"

"I also am upset by how he has an issue with you too," Peter said, "I have started to realized that."

"Peter," Quagmire said, "Me and Brian have made up and I must agree with Lois that the new you sucks."

"I agree," Meg chimed.

"Shut up, Meg," Peter said to her.

Brian then chimed in and said to Peter, "Actually Peter, Meg has a point. I'm surprised that she hasn't moved out like I did."

Lois then said as she petted Brian, "Brian, we will do anything to make it up to you."

Brian then said, "I don't know if you really mean it."

"Trust me, Brian," Lois said, and to both Quagmire and Brian she said, "We have to go home now, but you two take care."

After the family went back home, Lois picked up the phone and began to call the hair salon.

"Hello . . . Yes, I would like to schedule an appointment with my husband Peter . . . next Wednesday will work . . . Thank you . . . Bye."

"You better not have called that hairdresser," Peter said defensively.

"Too late," Lois said, 'Already did."

"You dick," Peter replied, "I will get you for this."

Ch. 6: Keeping his style

Throughout the week, Peter begged Lois to cancel the hair appointment but Lois responded with a "No."

"Please, Lois. Let me keep my hair like this," Peter begged.

"For the last fricken time," Lois said rather annoyed, "You are getting your hair changed back and that's final. So shut up and get used to it."

Peter then thought miserably, Whatever shall I do to keep my Miley Cyrus haircut. An idea then popped into his head. Wait I know.

So that Wednesday of Peter's hair appointment, Lois shouted to Peter, who was upstairs,

"PETER! IT'S TWO O' CLOCK. THAT MEANS IT'S TIME FOR YOUR HAIR APPOINTMENT! LET'S GET IN THE CAR!"

"BUT I'M NOT READY!" Peter shouted back.

Lois then said, "WHAT ELSE DO YOU HAVE TO DO?"

"I AM STILL TAKING MY SHOWER!" Peter shouted.

"WELL HURRY THE FRICK UP!" Lois said, "OR YOU WILL MISS YOUR APPOINTMENT!"

Thirty minutes later, Lois got tired of waiting for Peter. She thought, Ugh what is taking him so long? I better see what the holdup is.

She then marched up the stairs and went into the bedroom; no signe went to the bathroom, where Peter was hiding behind the curtain. When he saw Lois walk in, Peter let out a scream,

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"PETER, GET OUT OF THE SHOWER AND GET DRESSED!" Lois said furiously.

Peter replied, "But I don't have anything clean to wear."

Lois then responded, "I just did laundry yesterday. You should have plenty of clothes to wear."

"You don't believe me Lois. My closet and drawers are empty," Peter said.

Lois then said, "Let me see."

Peter then followed her to their bedroom. Lois saw the empty closet and drawers.

"Peter, what happened?" Lois asked.

"I don't know," Peter responded, "You may have to wash some clothes of mine."

Lois then said, "There's no time. Just find the least dirtiest thing that you have to wear, put it on and after the hair appointment we will wash some -" She then sniffed, in which was an unpleasant odor. "Peter, what is that smell?!"

"Oh yeah," Peter said, "It's coming from the hamper."

Lois then walked to the hamper to find all of Peter's clothes, in which they were covered in poop.

"Peter, you crapped on your clothes?!" Lois said rather shocked.

Peter responded, "The toilet wasn't working."

Lois then did a facepalm, "Dear lord, Peter. What the hell has gotten into you?"

"Shit," Peter answered, "That's what's gotten into me. A whole lot of shit."

"Evidently," Lois responded, "Ugh, I better cancel the appointment."

"YAY!" Peter exclaimed, "THAT MEANS I GET TO KEEP MY MILEY CYRUS HAIRCUT!"

Lois then tried to say, "Um Peter-" but Peter just ran downstairs with excitement singing,

"I GET TO KEEP MY MILEY CUT! I GET TO KEEP MY MILEY CUT! WOOOO! HOOOOO!"

Meg then walked in the same room as Peter was in and said, "Um Dad, why the hell are you naked, again?"

"Shut up, Meg," Peter said, "I am trying to celebrate the fact that your mom canceled my hair appointment."

He then did a cartwheel, only to bump his head on the wall.

"OW! DAMN IT! That really hurt like hell. Anyway," he said. Getting up, he then sang, "I GET TO KEEP MY MILEY CUT!"

Peter then went to Meg's newly repaired room. Before hand, the hole in the house finally got fixed.

Peter grabbed some clothes from her closet, and squeezed into them.

Just as Meg entered and saw her dad, she said, "Dad, what are you doing in my room, putting on my clothes?"

"Now Meg," Peter began, "Sharing is caring. Did you not remember that? We are family and families share."

"But Dad, you are wearing my clothes," Meg pointed.

"Shut up, Meg," Peter responded, "I'm going out and all of my clothes have crap on them, so I am wearing your clothes. Deal with it!" As soon as Peter was dressed, he left Meg's room and went out.

[murvinetaylor-blog]

Movin' in With Quagmire: Ch. 3 and 4

Ch. 3: Jerk With a Heart of Gold

Brian was in the dark in his hospital room, feeling miffed at Peter.

"Ugh, that damn Peter," Brian said to himself, "I hope he has gotten his karma."

A minute later, the Griffins came back in for another visit.

"Hey Brian," Peter said, enthusiastically, "Feeling any better?"

Brian responded bitterly, "Does it look like I'm feeling any better?"

"Cheer up, Brian," Lois said, trying to lighten the mood, "We all came to visit you."

"And I know what will make you feel better," Peter added.

"What?!" Brian snapped.

"Everyone thought I was Miley Cyrus," Peter began, "And they gave me autographs and a bunch of hugs, too!"

Brian replied sarcastically, "Oh well good for you."

"Come on, Brian," Lois said, "Peter was just trying to make you feel better."

Brian replied, "Look, maybe I would feel better if you just pay for my surgery and rehab!"

Lois then said, "Brian, I must agree with Peter. We can't waste our money on someone who isn't a human. We need that money to repair that hole in our house."

Feeling both heartbroken and pissed, Brian responded, "Not paying for me to get new teeth is one thing, but not paying for me to get back on my feet is a whole different story."

"Brian, look on the bright side," Meg suggested, "At least you're still alive."

"Actually," Brian began, "I'd be lucky to NOT be alive. In fact, I really do wish I stayed dead when I got killed off or just put down because none of you seem to care about me. You are just nothing but insensitive assholes!"

Quagmire, who was outside and able to hear the conversation, wondered to himself, "Is that the Griffins I hear? I think I should say hi to them."

Entering the room, he said, "Hey guys what's shake- HOLY CRAP, WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU, BRIAN?!"

Brian answered, reluctantly, "It's a long story."

"What are you doing here, Glenn?" Lois asked.

Quagmire answered, "I just came here because I heard that the female vets are hot."

Lois then said, "That's kind of perverted."

"But that's what I am," Quagmire replied, "A pervert," and trying to change the subject he asked, "What happened to Brian?"

Peter answered, "Oh nothing, it's not a big deal. I was just swinging on a wrecking ball having a little fun."

Brian then yelled, "YEAH, YOUR FUN IS WHAT GOT ME IN THIS CONDITION IN THE FIRST PLACE AND NONE OF YOU BASTARDS ARE HELPING ME!" And beginning to cry, he said, "You are so insensitive. I just can't live with you bastards anymore. I am in misery. There ain't nobody who can comfort me. My whole body hurts, hell, even my fur hurts, but the worst part is that I will be in this condition for the rest of my life because I cannot get surgery or any physical therapy."

"Look at it this way, Brian," Chris said, "At least you have a good excuse to be lazy and pee on the floor."

"I agree," Stewie said, "Haven't you always wanted to piss on the floor without getting in trouble?"

This only made Brian feel worst. "That does not make me feel any better." He continued to cry uncontrollably.

Surprisingly feeling concerned, Quagmire said to the Griffins, "Okay, I know this is hypocritical since me and Brian are sworn enemies, but how could you do this to him?! I know I have done stuff to him before, but never would I do something this atrocious! First you knock out his teeth and now this? I may be a pervert, but I know pretty damn well how to help someone in need. Hell, I once helped Meg stand up to a bully before and I was the one who paid for Brian's new teeth."

"But didn't you knock them out again?" Stewie pointed.

"Yes," Quagmire said, "But that was just because Brian tricked me into buying a crappy condo, look, I really don't want to talk about that situation."

"Why did you knock out his teeth again?" Chris asked him and Quagmire said, rather irritated,

"I told you not to bring it up!"

"No you didn't. You told Stewie."

"Well what I told Stewie applies to everyone else. I don't want to talk about the situation, so do me a favor and leave me alone about it."

"Okay. Whatever."

To Brian, who was still in tears, yet finally calming down, Quagmire said, rather sympathetically, "Brian, even though we are enemies and been through so much in the past, I just want to let you know that I am here for you and I am going to help you though this because this is something that I wouldn't wish upon anyone, not even my enemies. I will take care of you. In fact, you can even stay with me at my place . . . if you like."

Feeling touched, Brian replied, "Wow, Quagmire. You are willing to help me when I am this hurt? Why haven't I seen this before? Also, I would love to stay with you. Hopefully, this will teach my family a lesson."

"Let's hope so," Quagmire said, "I hope they enjoy not having a dog."

Peter then said, "That's cool. I don't need a dog as long as I have fans."

"Um, fans?" Quagmire questioned, "What fans?"

Lois explained, "People think that he is Miley Cyrus."

"Oh, I see," Quagmire said, "Well, I'm not dumb enough to think that Peter is Miley."

Lois then said, "I've been telling Peter to change his hair back, but he won't listen."

"Because it's changed my life," Peter replied, with enthusiasm, "I am so famous now."

"His ego really needs feeding," Lois said, to Quagmire, rather annoyed.

"I see that," Quagmire replied.

Ch. 4: A new chapter in life

Brian had undergone his first surgery and had five more to go. He was still in a full body cast, only this time, he was also in a motorized wheelchair. Quagmire, who had paid for Brian, drove him to the Griffins' now half destroyed house, got his stuff packed, and drove him to his house.

At the Griffins' house, Lois said, to the family, "Well, Brian's gone now, so things are going to be different."

Stewie then said, "Are we getting another dog?"

"Sadly, we can't afford it right now," Lois said, "First we have to pay to have this hole in our home repaired and for Peter to get his hair changed back."

Peter then said, "Says the same woman who looks like a carrot head."

"Oh," Lois added, "I almost forgot. We also have to pay for Peter to get mental help."

At Quagmire's house, Quagmire helped Brian into his bed.

"Thanks for doing this for me," Brian said.

"It was nothing," Quagmire replied, "Now; it's time to take your medicine."

He pulled out an oxycodone and a slice of a hot dog and stuffed the pill into the hot dog. He then gave the hot dog to Brian, who ate it.

Quagmire then petted Brian. "Good boy," he said and Brian replied,

"That's the first time you ever called me that. It's almost as if we went from being enemies to close friends."

"Well, it sure feels like it," Quagmire said, "We have started a new chapter in our lives."

"I agree," Brian replied, "Our hatred is history."

"It feels like I've reunited with an old friend," said Quagmire.

"Same," Brian said, "We started off as friends, then hated each other, and now we are friends again."

And he was right. Quagmire took care of Brian by: giving him his medication, feeding him, and siting on his bed side. Every night, Quagmire slept with Brian, to make sure that he was okay.

Four days later, Quagmire checked on Brian, once again.

"Hey Brian," Quagmire said to the dog, "How are you feeling?"

Brian answered, "Miserable. I'm tired of being confined to this damn bed."

Feeling sorry for Brian, Quagmire responded, "I know it's tough and I really wish that I could take away your pain."

"Thank you for your sympathy," Brian said.

"It's nothing," Quagmire replied, "I think what you need is to get out of the house. Maybe we can grab a drink."

"But I am in a full body cast," Brian pointed, "I can't move."

Quagmire then suggested, "How about I carry you. After all, you are a dog so you shouldn't be too hard to carry."

"Are you sure?" Brian asked and Quagmire said, "Just trust me."

So Quagmire carried Brian into his car, brought his wheelchair and drove to the Drunken Clam. When they entered people stopped and stared, but were doing it out of sympathy rather than pity.

"Is that your dog?" Asked a chick with long platinum blonde hair.

"Yes," Quagmire answered.

"What happened to him?"

Brian then said, "I can tell you."

"You talk?" the chick gasped.

"Yes," Brian answered.

"Mind telling us what happened to you?" the chick then said.

"Well," Brian began, "You see, I wasn't always the tortured shell of canine that writhes in pain before you today. I was a vibrant, carefree, happy go lucky dog."

Everyone showed concerned looks and Brian continued, "Upon watching TV at my old family's house, I found myself without any warning, getting hit and finally being crushed by a hard, unforgiving wrecking ball." After telling his story, questions aroused.

"How did you get hit by a wrecking Ball?"

"What do you mean as in your old family?"

"How long do you have to be in that cast?"

Brian explained, "I had a different owner at the time and he was stupid enough to swing on a wrecking ball. I didn't think that I would survive and I kind of wished that I didn't as I was in so much pain and none of the family wanted to pay for my medical expenses. Fortunately, Quagmire took me to his house and I now live with him."

"I thought you hated that dog," a guy, wearing a green polo shirt said to Quagmire.

"That is true," Quagmire pointed, "I hated this dog, but when I saw him like this, I knew I had to do something."

Brian added, "And when he came to my aid, I decided that I could no longer hate him."

"And that's how we became friends."

"Well," the blonde chick said to Quagmire, "You have such a big heart," and to Brian she said, "Also, you are such a brave and strong dog."

"I agree with my friend," another chick with brunette hair said.

Jerome then said, in tears, "Brian, your story really tugs my heartstrings. If I were in your position, I don't know what I would do. So anyway, what would you like to drink?"

"I'll have the usual," Brian said, "a glass of martini."

"Coming up," said Jerome and to Quagmire he said, "What would you like?"

Quagmire answered, "I'll have a couple of beers," and in a whispering tone he said, "I am stressed from taking care of an injured dog."

"Okay," the Jerome replied.

After they got their drinks, both Brian and Quagmire drank some more until they were drunk.

"Wow," Brian said, "Imma so drunk that I'm not in pain no more."

"That's good to heara," Quagmire replied.

"Hey guys," a man in a tux said to them, "I can take you home . . . in my fancy limousine."

"Wow," Quagmire said.

"Yup," the man said, "You deserved a ride in a limo."

When the man drove them home, Quagmire stumbled while pushing Brian in his wheelchair and when he carried him to the bed. The two then became knocked out.

[murvinetaylor-blog]

Movin' in With Quagmire: Ch 1 and 2

Original upload date: 10/5/15-11/6/16

Summary: After getting injured because of Peter's stupidity and not getting any care from the rest of his family, Brian moves in with Quagmire, despite them being enemies. Meanwhile, Peter gets a new hairdo and everybody thinks that he is Miley Cyrus, but Lois wants him to change his hair back.

Ch 1: Came in like a wrecking ball

Sitting on the sofa, Peter was flipping channels.

"Ugh, there's nothing good on TV anymore," he moaned, and making a fist he said, "I wish to kill the writers who make all these crappy TV show episodes."

Lois, who was standing in the room with Peter, holding a basket of laundry, suggested, "Or you can just change the channel."

"I've tried that," Peter complained.

Lois then offered Peter some other advice. "Then why don't you go do something else, like go out or something?"

Looking at the TV, in which the "Wreaking Ball" by Miley Cyrus music video was shown, Peter then said, optimistically, "That's it! I know what I'm gonna do today!"

Running out, he then shouted, "BYE LOIS, SEE YOU WHEN I GET HOME!" He went to his car and drove off.

As soon as Peter was gone, Lois sighed, "Whatever floats his boat."

One hour later, after getting a Miley Cyrus hairdo, Peter hijacked a wrecking ball truck.

At an old building, which was going to be replaced, a construction worker said, "Where the hell is the wrecking ball truck?"

As soon as he drove the truck home, Peter began to strip and put on make-up to look like Miley, in the video and hopping on the ball, he said, "I can't wait to surprise my family."

Inside, Brian was in the living room watching the news.

"Construction workers complain of being robbed of piece of equipment," said the news reporter.

Brian replied, "That robber should be brought to justice."

In just a few moments, Peter swung, crashing into the living room, singing, "I CAME IN LIKE A WREKING BALL!"

"What the hell?!" Brian gasped, "What is going on?"

Peter continued swinging and singing "Wrecking Ball," while Brian was running, trying to avoid getting hit.

"PETER! STOP, BEFORE SOMEBODY GETS HURT!" he warned, yet Peter did not listen. He continued to swing and Brian ran into the dining room, hoping he would be safe . . . but not for long . . . As Peter continued swinging, the ball crashed into the dining room, crushing Brian's body.

"AHHHHHH!" Brian screamed, "SOMEBODY CALL 9-11!"

Lois who entered the room said, "Brian, are you okay?"

"No," Brian moaned in pain and Lois said,

"Don't worry, I will call the ambulance."

At the animal hospital, inside a room, where Brian was, Lois asked the vet, who had black hair and round glasses, "Is he going to be alright?"

"Well," the vet said, "He is going to need major surgery and physical rehab for a year."

"How much will it cost?" Peter asked.

"Two hundred thousand dollars," answered the vet.

Shocked, Peter responded, "WHAT?! Health insurance won't pay for it and plus we need that money to repair our home."

"What's wrong with it?" the vet wondered.

"There's a huge hole in our house."

Brian, who was now in a full body cast, replied sarcastically, "Gee, I wonder why; oh, maybe because you were stupid enough to SWING ON A FUCKING WRECKING BALL!"

"Geez, Brian, you don't have to cuss him out," Lois said.

"Actually I do," Brian said still angry, "He is the same guy who put me in this position in the first place."

"Accidents happen," Peter said, trying to lighten the mood, "You must forgive and forget."

"Yeah," Lois said, "What would Jesus do?"

Brian then replied, "Number one, stupidity isn't an accident, number two, you should know that I am atheist by now!"

Peter then said, "Okay I get it. Is there anything we can do for you?"

"Yeah," Brian said, "Pay for my medical expenses and for the rehab that I need to get back on my feet."

"But it's too expensive Brian," Peter said.

"Hey if you can afford that shitty hairdo and to get away with swinging on a wrecking ball without your damn clothes on, then you should be able to afford my medical expenses," Brian continued, "Peter, do you realize that you made a really bad decision?"

"Yes, Brian," Peter replied, "Maybe I should have gotten a Mohawk instead."

"You are missing the point, Peter," Brian said, "I don't care about your stupid haircut!"

"Hey," Peter said defensively, "My haircut is not stupid and just for that you really do deserve to be injured."

"You know what?" Brian said, "JUST GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY FUCKING SITE, NOW!"

All except for Meg, the Griffins left the room.

"YOU TOO, MEG!"

"But Brian, I-, "Meg began.

"GO, NOW!"

Meg then left the room, feeling a bit terrified of Brian's yelling and anger and as soon as everyone left, Brian thought, those assholes.

Ch 2: Super FAKE Star

Peter started showing off his new look around town.

"Are you Miley Cyrus," a girl asked Peter, "Because I am a huge fan."

Peter then lied, "Why of course I am. I just gained some weight. You know all the stress."

"Well can you sign my autograph?" the girl asked pulling out a piece of paper and pen.

"Sure," he said, taking the pen and paper and writing, in cursive, "Miley Cyrus."

"Thank you," the girl said. She then went to her friends and said, "HEY GUYS LOOK IT'S MILEY CYRUS!"

"OMG!" one friend squealed, "I love Miley Cyrus."

Just then a bunch of Miley Cyrus fans began to swarm all over Peter.

"WE LOVE YOU MILEY!"

"YOU ARE AN INSPIRATION!"

A hater then said, "DON'T LISTEN TO THEM! YOU WERE MUCH BETTER AS HANNAH MONTANNA!"

"DON'T LISTEN TO THAT BITCH! HE DON'T KNOW SHIT!"

"I WANT TO DATE YOU!"

"I WANT TO BE YOU!"

"OKAY GUYS," Peter announced, and the fans calmed down a little, "I know y'all love me, but I do need my space."

"We understand," a fan said.

"Good," Peter replied, "Now, everyone gets a turn at getting my autograph."

One by one, Peter was signing people's autographs as 'Miley Cyrus' and after that; they started chasing him into his car.

As soon as Peter got in he drove back to his house, which still had a hole in it from the wrecking ball.

There, Lois asked Peter, "Where have you been?"

"I was being chased by a lot of Miley Cyrus fans," Peter explained.

"Why were Miley Cyrus fans chasing you?" Lois wondered.

"They think I'm Miley Cyrus," Peter said, happily, "Lois, this look has really changed my life!"

"Peter," Lois began, "I think you should really change your hair back."

"Why? Then I will be just plain old Peter," Peter disagreed, "I have never felt this special in my life."

Lois replied, "Peter, we can't have a bunch of fans trying to break into our home. I mean you already broke it earlier when you swung on that wrecking ball naked."

"Yeah," Meg chimed in, "My room is destroyed and I have to sleep with Chris because of you."

"Shut up, Meg," Peter said to his daughter and to Lois, he said, "Lois, they are just a bunch of people, enthused about Miley."

"Peter," Lois tried to reason, "Do you really want fans constantly stalking you?"

The fans were outside of the half destroyed house, hiding in the bushes

"I saw Miley walk in here," a fan whispered, "So let's surprise her."

"Great idea," another fan whispered back.

They then popped out.

"HEY MILEY!" a fan shouted, entering through the hole that was created.

"Quick guys," Peter said to both his wife and kids, "Get in the closet before my fans see you."

All at once, he pushed his whole family in the coat closet.

"Peter," Lois began to say, "This is ridiculous," but Peter did not listen, rather he locked them all inside.

"Hey Miley," a young woman, in her twenties said, "Me and the other fans want to give you hugs."

Peter then said, "How sweet. FREE HUGS FOR EVERBODY FROM THE SAME CHICK WHO CAME IN LIKE A WRECKING BALL!"

Everyone then crowed around Peter to shower him with hugs. Some even brought him flowers.

"Hey Miley," a young man, holding a chocolate cake, saying 'You're the best,' said, "I made you a cake."

"Oh you are too kind," Peter replied.

"So why are you staying here?" a fan wondered and Peter said,

"Oh, I just rented this place, you know, until I have to go back to Hollywood."

"Why does it have a hole?" the same fan asked and Peter said,

"There have been a lot of termites, but don't worry they are all dead now."

"Well," another fan said, "We are glad that you are here. Why don't you sing us one of your songs?"

"Sure," Peter said, and everyone cheered and he began singing "We Can't Stop," then came "Wrecking Ball," and then "I adore you."

After those three songs, everyone hugged Peter some more, as Lois, Meg, Chris, and Stewie remained stuck in the closet, banging on the door.

"PETER!" Lois shouted, "YOU BETTER LET US OUT!" Yet no one could hear her.

[murvinetaylor-blog]

The Second Blow: Chapter 10: Gotta get out

After the torment, the three girls were sent to bed early.

"But we don't want to go back in that ::dolphin noise:: hole you call a basement," protested Pearl.

As she cocked out her gun, Mrs. Puff then threatened, "Get your ::dolphin noise:: in that ::dolphin noise:: basement or you will be whale and fish stew. NOW!"

This scared the girls into the basement and Mrs. Puff locked the door.

To the audience Mrs. Puff said, "And that's how you punish three troublemakers. Now I am going to spend some well deserved relaxing time."

Mrs. Puff then sat carefully on the couch and turned on the TV.

In the basement, Anna said, "I don't know how much I can take it anymore. That crazy lady is ruining our lives. I just want to commit suicide."

"Well don't," Lana said, "There is a better way out."

"Yeah," Pearl said, "I brought us in this situation and I can fix it."

"How? Mrs. Puff has us locked in here," Anna pointed, "And she can catch us escaping."

"We'll just have to escape at night," Pearl said, "I am strong enough to bust down the doors and if Mrs. Puff does catch us, we will fight."

"But what if she has a gun?" Lana asked.

"We will throw stuff at her and I mean heavy stuff. Now get packing," Pearl said.

Anna and Lana obeyed and Pearl packed her stuff as well. After that, Pearl set an alarm on her phone and they all went to sleep until it went off at one AM.

"Wake up," Pearl whispered to the girls as she shook both of them, "We got to escape Mrs. Puff's house."

Pearl, Anna, and Lana then got up and grabbed their stuff.

"Are you ready, Pearl?" Lana whispered, as soon as they got to the basement door.

"Ready," Pearl whispered back.

They then counted quietly, "One . . . Two . . . Three." Pearl then pried the door open and they ran to the front only to be caught by Mrs. Puff.

"What are you doing up?" She asked rather bitterly.

"Nothing," Pearl replied nervously.

"I don't believe you," said the puffer fish, "I know you were trying to escape."

"How did you know?" Lana wondered. Anna then whispered, "Lana, shh."

"There is no use in trying to hide it," Mrs. Puff said, "I have my ways and because you disobeyed me, I have a surprise for you."

Mrs. Puff then cocked out her gun and in response, the three girls ran; but Mrs. Puff was quick to pull the trigger. BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

Each girl fell one by one.

Three days later, they woke up in the hospital.

"What happened?" Pearl wondered.

"I don't know," Lana responded, she then looked at a mirror hanging on the wall and could not believe her eyes.

"My face is back!" Lana exclaimed, "And so are your's. Pearl and Lana, look in the mirror."

"Thank Neptune," Pearl said, "This is like a blessing from Heaven."

"I know right," replied Anna, "I thought we were going to be faceless for the rest of our lives. Say, I wonder who did this for us."

A doctor fish, who was standing in the room along with Mr. Krabs, Lana's parents and Anna's parents, explained, "A young man by the name of SpongeBob Squarepants told me he was on his way home from a late night shift and saw the incident. He called the ambulance and paid for your face transplants and for the surgeries for your wounds," he then looked at his clipboard and said, " According to the charts, you should make a good recovery. You will just have to spend two weeks in the hospital. Now I have to go check with another patient."

The doctor fish then left the room.

"We are so glad that you are okay," Lana's mom said.

"So what will be happening to Mrs. Puff?" Lana wondered.

Mr. Krabs then explained, "Mrs. Puff is in a mental health facility for a month and then she will be sent to this hospital to have an inflation sac transplant."

Anna's mom then said, "SpongeBob has set a Go Fund Me account to raise money to help Mrs. Puff and had raised more than enough. He has also asked people to help and pray for Mrs. Puff."

"Help and pray for her?" Pearl cringed, "Why would we help and pray for her. That woman is the spawn of Satan. Do you know what she put us through?"

"Yeah," Lana added, "She should be doing more than a month in a mental institution. She should be in prison for life or executed."

"Now girls," Lana's mom explained, "Mrs. Puff is a puffer fish and when she is deflated and can't puff, she will turn psychotic, but once she regains her puff, she will regain her sanity."

"Also," Lana's dad added, "I don't want to say this in front of SpongeBob but he has tormented Mrs. Puff for years. He was the one who cause her inflation sac to pop for the first time as well."

"Then why didn't Mrs. Puff do this stuff to him?" Lana wondered.

"Because," Lana's dad explained, "SpongeBob never meant to torment her and he is a redeemer. Lately, he's become less annoying and troublesome."

"I still don't understand," Lana said, "But please can we not go back to her house?"

"Why of course," Lana's mom said, "While you were in a coma, we had a talk and decided that you can all go home after you three are checked out."

"Thank Neptune," Lana explained.

And so, Pearl, Anna, and Lana returned home to their normal lives. Three months later Mr. Krabs said to his daughter with enthusiasm,

"Pearl, I have some wonderful news."

"What is it, dad?" Pearl wondered.

"Mrs. Puff and I are engaged and we are getting married," Mr. Krabs replied.

Pearl then responded, "Oh crap."

Three weeks later, at the wedding, Mrs. Puff was off her walker and her inflation was back. She wore a beautiful white frilly dress and a veil with roses on it and Mr. Krabs wore a tux. After they walked down the aisle, a priest said, to Mr. Krabs,

"Do you take this woman to be your wife?"

"I do," Mr. Krabs answered and to Mrs. Puff, the priest said,

"Do you take this man to be your husband?"

Mrs. Puff responded, "I do."

"You may kiss the bride," the priest finally said and Mr. Krabs and Mrs. Puff both kissed.

They were finally happily married and Mr. Krabs became less obsessed with money. Not only that, but a month after the wedding something else happened.

At the Boating School, Mrs. Puff said to SpongeBob, "Okay SpongeBob. Are you ready for you boating exam?"

SpongeBob replied enthusiastically, "Ma'am yes ma'am."

"Good," Mrs. Puff said and the test began.

Mrs. Puff panicked, but only for a while. She could not believe what she saw when SpongeBob, for once, drove perfectly.

It's a miracle, Mrs. Puff thought, It's like something invaded his mind, thus making him a better driver.

As soon as the test ended, SpongeBob parked the boat.

"SpongeBob," Mrs. Puff said happily, "I can't believe I'm saying this, but you passed!"

"I did?" SpongeBob wondered.

"You certainly did," Mrs. Puff said, showing him the grade he made. As she gave SpongeBob his driving licence she said, "Here is your licence."

"Thank you, Mrs. Puff," SpongeBob said as he hugged her.

Mrs. Puff did not know how things could get any better. She fully recovered from that boating accident, got married, and finally got rid of SpongeBob.

That afternoon, when it was time to go home, Mrs. Puff drove home, to Mr. Krabs' house, feeling the happiest that she did not feel in a long time. All the hardship was behind her. She had a new life; a life that she had dreamed about. Sure she would still deal with a few problems from time to time, but for the most part, her life was changed for the better.

The End

[murvinetaylor-blog]

The Second Blow: Chapter 9: Humiliation

The next day at school, Pearl, Anna, and Lana got teased and harassed for not having faces. Some even ran away from them. The girls have never felt so humiliated in their lives.

While they were waiting for Mrs. Puff to pick them up, that afternoon, Lana said,

"This is the worst day ever."

"I agree, girlfriend," Anna replied "Those people wouldn't stop being mean to us."

Pearl then said, "Maybe we can get plastic surgery or something."

"Let's hope," replied Anna, "Because we can't spend the rest of our lives looking like this."

As soon as Mrs. Puff picked the girls up, Lana said to her,

"You have crossed the line, Mrs. Puff. You can't keep doing this to us."

"Yeah," Anna agreed, "You can't keep making our lives worse."

Mrs. Puff then said, "Hate to tell y'all this, but it's not getting any better."

Pearl asked, rather nervously, "What do you mean?"

Mrs. Puff then answered, in a rather sneaky tone, "You'll see."

At home, Mrs. Puff made the girls sit down and said,

"I will now start putting you all in nappies."

"What?" Pearl said, with disbelief.

"That's right," Mrs. Puff said, "I have bought the right size for you. Now, who is going first?"

"No one," Pearl protested.

"How about you?" Mrs. Puff pointed, "Now lie down."

Pearl then said, "You can't tell me what to do."

That's when Mrs. Puff cocked out her pistol gun and yelled, "DO IT OR I WILL SHOOT YOU!"

Pearl then reluctantly obeyed and Mrs. Puff changed her and did the same to the other two girls.

"Now," Mrs. Puff said, as soon as the girls' nappies were on, "We have to leave to go to my appointment at four forty five. You got that? Also, I want you to be on your best behavior or there will be punishments. Does everyone understand?"

"Yes ma'am," all three girls said at once.

"Good," Mrs. Puff said at the said time, the girls and Mrs. Puff got in the car.

During Mrs. Puff's appointment, Pearl whispered to her friends, "This is so humiliating; first our faces and now diapers? How can this lady get any crazier?"

"I know how we can get revenge," Lana suggested, "Let's drive off in her boat."

"Great idea," Pearl agreed.

"But won't we get in trouble?" Anna feared.

"On please," Pearl said, "Mrs. Puff did way worse to us, yet she isn't in trouble."

"Well in that case, I'm in," Anna said, "Only we need her keys."

"Don't worry, I have them," Lana said, pulling out Mrs. Puff's keys.

"How did you get them?" wondered Pearl. Lana then answered, "Mrs. Puff dropped them accidentally and I just picked them up.

"Well let's get in the boat," Anna said.

All three girls got in. Lana drove, Anna took shot gun, and Pearl was in the back. They took off driving.

"I guess Mrs. Puff will have to walk all the way home with that walker," Pearl laughed.

"Yeah," said Anna, "Suck for her."

"Agreed," Lana chimed in saying.

Lana continued to drive the boat, until they crashed into a tree, where Mrs. Puff was standing, still with her walker of course.

"Think you can get away?" Mrs. Puff snapped, "Well think again because I am taking you all back to my house and when we get there, there will be punishments. As for you Lana, give me the driver's seat."

Lana protested, "We don't have to listen to you."

Mrs. Puff then pulled out her gun and said, "DO IT OR YOU WILL GET SHOT!"

Lana then moved to the back, feeling frightened and Mrs. Puff got in and started driving the girls to her house.

As soon as they were there, Mrs. Puff put all the girls in a prison hand cuffs, which chained them together.

"Now that I got you all right where I want you, I am going to play the worst song of all and you will watch me dance," Mrs. Puff said.

"How can you dance with that walker," Pearl teased and Mrs. Puff said, "Like I said before, I have my ways."

She then played the song "Friday," by Rebecca Black and started shaking her butt.

"Why are you dancing like that?" Anna said in a frightened tone.

Mrs. Puff then said, "Because I'm a psychopath! NOW IT'S YOUR TURN TO DANCE!"

She then shot her gun and Lana whimpered, "You just shot me in my::dolphin noise::."

"Where did you even get this idea from?" Pearl wondered.

Mrs. Puff then said, "From Bart Baker's 22 parody, except in it, Bart didn't play the song Friday."

"Well that's good to know," Pearl said, "because we all hate that song." After the song was over, Mrs. Puff then said, "Your next punishment will be watching a show that you all can't stand."

"OH NO!" all three girls screamed.

"Oh yeah," Mrs. Puff said evilly, "We are going to watch Dora the Explorer."

"That show gives people cancer," Anna said.

"Yeah," Pearl said.

"Well, y'all gave me a crippling injury, so this is what you get," Mrs. Puff said.

Pearl then said, "Wait a minute, we heard that you once tried to kill SpongeBob in a derby, but how come you never gave him this treatment."

Mrs. Puff then said, "Because it was the quickest way to get rid of him. Now I am going to duct tape you all to the couch."

Pulling out a roll of duct tape Mrs. Puff made the girls sit on the couch and wrapped the tape around. After that, she turned the TV on to Nick Junior, in which Dora the Explorer was on.

"I DON'T WANNA WATCH THIS CRAP!" yelled Lana, "I'D RATHER WATCH HER GET GROUNDED, INSTEAD!"

"Speaking of grounded," Mrs. Puff added, "You are all grounded and I am going to make grounded videos out of you guys. After you finish watching Dora, you will watch those videos."

With her walker, Mrs. Puff got up the stairs, all the way to her room and began to make the videos on her laptop. An hour later, Mrs. Puff went back downstairs with her laptop and a cable, so that the video will protect onto the TV screen. While sitting down, she connected the TV and laptop with the cable. She then said,

"Prepare to watch your very own 'Grounded Series'."

"NOOOOOOOOO!" All three girls screamed.

"YES!" Mrs. Puff replied excitedly, as the video started to play.

[murvinetaylor-blog]

The Second Blow: Chapter 8: The Babysitter

Mrs. Puff drove the girls to her house from school that Monday afternoon. She had physical therapy later on at five and didn't think the girls could be trusted alone. She knew that they would try to sneak out.

While Mrs. Puff was driving Pearl, Anna, and Lana, she told the girls, "I have to take physical therapy later on at five o' clock today and I cannot trust you three by yourselves, therefore, I am hiring a babysitter."

"But Mrs. Puff," Pearl said, "We are sixteen, not six. We do not need a babysitter."

"Well, you act like six year olds, so I will treat you like six year olds," Mrs. Puff said.

Lana then asked, "Are you trying to ruin our lives? Do you know how embarrassing it is for you to treat us like this? Speaking of which, I got bullied today for being faceless."

Mrs. Puff then responded, "Well I am supposed to start teaching again tomorrow and do you know how embarrassing for me it is to be a puffer fish that can't puff. My students will probably bully me, so I think you deserved to be faceless."

As soon as they got to Mrs. Puff's house, Mrs. Puff told them, "Your babysitter will be here in thirty minutes, and he is going to make sure that you are doing your homework and chores and if I get any negative reports, I will beat you up."

"How," Anna said, "You are still in that walker."

Mrs. Puff then said, "I have my ways."

As soon as the doorbell rang, Mrs. Puff went to answer it. Outside was none other than Patrick Star, SpongeBob's best friend. "Why hello Mrs. Puff," Patrick said, "I see you have lost a lot of weight."

Mrs. Puff then said awkwardly, "Yeah, thanks for noticing."

"So you want me to babysit three girls?" Patrick asked.

Mrs. Puff then said, "Yes. You are to watch them. Make sure they don't sneak out and that they do their homework and chores and when I come back, let me know how they behaved. I should be back a little after six."

She then handed Patrick a piece of paper. "This is my number. Call me if there is an emergency."

"Okay, Mrs. Puff," Patrick said.

"I will see you after my physical therapy appointment," Mrs. Puff said, and she went to her boat and drove off.

As soon as Mrs. Puff was gone, Patrick then said, "What was I supposed to do again? Wait, I know; sit on the couch and watch TV."

Patrick then sat down on Mrs. Puff's couch and cut on the TV. While he was watching, Patrick said, "Ha, ha! I love this show. It is so funny."

While Patrick was watching TV, Pearl whispered to her friends, "I know what to do; let's sneak out while Patrick isn't looking."

Lana then said, "But what about my face? I can't go anywhere without my face. Everyone will laugh at me or be scared away."

"We have tried searching everywhere for your face last night while Mrs. Puff was sleeping, but it isn't anywhere," Pearl said, "Mrs. Puff may have thrown it away."

"Then check in the trash," Lana said, still whispering.

"We've already checked in there," Anna said, "You are just going to have to put a bag over your head."

Lana then grabbed a bag from the kitchen closet and found a pair of scissors on the counter. She then cut two holes into the bag for her eyes and put it on her head.

"How do I look?" Lana asked.

"You look less scary," Pearl said, "Now let's get the heck out of here."

As soon as the girls got out, Lana said, "Well, I have learned to look on the bright side because at least I don't have to worry about how my hair looks."

"True," Anna said, "but does that mean you want to wear a bag on your head for the rest of your life?"

"Na," Lana said, "Just until I can find my face or get surgery for a new one."

As the girls continued to walk, Pearl said, "Man, I feel like we broke out of jail."

"I agree," Lana said.

"This is great," Anna said, "But are you sure we won't get caught?"

Pearl then said, "Caught, smought. We'll be fine, unless_"

Mrs. Puff was driving towards them and finally stopped.

"OH NO!" cried the girls.

"Get in my boat," Mrs. Puff said, angrily, "NOW!"

"Let's run," Pearl said.

The girls then took off running. But Mrs. Puff started chasing them with her boat the same way she tried to chase SpongeBob, while driving that tractor in the demolition derby that they were in. The girls continued to run until they were in the kelp forest. They were huffing and puffing, gasping for breath.

"I think we lost her," Anna said.

"Good," Pearl said, "Because I am so sweaty that I think my make-up is starting to smear and my hair and clothes are messed up."

"Let's just take a nap," Lana said, "And then we will find a place to stay."

The girls then fell asleep on the ground and slept for a long time. The next morning however, they woke up in Mrs. Puff's basement.

"Where are we?" Pearl said, waking up, "Are we dead?"

"No, but you are going to wish you were," said a voice that sounded like Mrs. Puff and when Pearl turned around, it was Mrs. Puff. She also turned to the mirror to find out that her face got cut off.

"AHHHH!" Pearl screamed, "WHERE'S MY FACE?!"

"I have cut it off," Mrs. Puff said, "Just like what I did to Lana. I have also removed Anna's face too."

Anna then woke up and said, "Say what?" She turned to the mirror and let out a loud birdlike scream.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"That is right girls," Mrs. Puff said, "And you will be faceless for the rest of your natural born lives. Muwahahahaha!"

Mrs. Puff never felt so good about herself.

"Now girls, I had to fire your babysitter because he did a poor job at watching you three douchebags, so tomorrow, y'all will be coming with me to my appointment with my rehabilitation psychologist."

The girls looked at each other in horror and started screaming at the sight of each other having no face.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

[murvinetaylor-blog]

The Second Blow: Chapter 7: A Friendly Visit

There was no work that day for SpongeBob, as it was Sunday. SpongeBob thought about saying hi to everyone in Bikini Bottom, but instead, he decided to pay Mrs. Puff a friendly visit. He bought some hypoallergenic flowers and a get well card.

As soon as SpongeBob was near the house, he said to himself,

"I can't wait to see the look on Mrs. Puff's face," and rang the doorbell.

Mrs. Puff answered it.

"Oh, it's you again," Mrs. Puff said, not sounding all that delighted.

"Don't worry, Mrs. Puff," SpongeBob said, "I am a changed sponge."

"I hope so," Mrs. Puff said.

That's when Pearl, Anna, and Lana tried to escape out of the window. When they all got out, Anna landed in the bushes, Lana landed on Anna and Pearl landed on Lana.

Mrs. Puff could hear the thuds that were coming from the girls. She then said to SpongeBob, "Excuse me for a minute."

She then walked out and said, "PEARL, LANA, AND ANNA! GET YOUR BUTTS OVER HERE RIGHT NOW!"

"Oh shoot," Pearl said, "We're busted."

"Oh shoot is right," Mrs. Puff said, "Now get in the house."

The girls then obeyed.

"Mrs. Puff," SpongeBob said, "What are Pearl and her friends doing here?"

Mrs. Puff then answered, "They are, um, staying at my place to take care of me, until I am fully recovered."

"Oh," SpongeBob said naively, "That is so sweet of them."

As soon as Mrs. Puff got the girls inside the house, she then said to SpongeBob, "I see you got me flowers and a card."

"I just want to make you feel better," SpongeBob said sweetly.

"Well that's sweet of you," Mrs. Puff said, "But there is honestly nothing you can do."

"There's got to be something that I can do," SpongeBob said.

"Well, there isn't," Mrs. Puff said.

"Don't worry," SpongeBob said optimistically, "I will think of something."

Lana then walked up to Mrs. Puff.

"Excuse me," she said in a snarky tone, "May I please have my face back?"

Mrs. Puff then picked up her walker, hit Lana with it, and said, sarcastically, "Fat chance. You are never getting your face back."

SpongeBob then said, "Mrs. Puff, I don't mean to be rude, but why does one of Pearl's friends have no face?"

Mrs. Puff then said, trying to sound pitiful, "Oh it is a long sad story. Lana, the girl you questioned about, was in a horrible boat accident. I heard she went flying to the windshield, where the broken glass sliced her face clean off."

SpongeBob's eyes then filled with tears, "Oh no, that is so sad," he said, "It must be tough for that poor girl."

Mrs. Puff then replied, "Oh it is." She then said, trying to get SpongeBob to leave, "You might want to leave because I think if you stay here any longer, you may have to hear more of that sad story and you will be so heartbroken by it that it may lead to a lot of anxiety and depression. Now you don't want that."

"Depression and anxiety?" SpongeBob then said nervously, "Oh no, I am already feeling anxious. I better leave."

SpongeBob then took off running and screaming. As soon as he was gone, Mrs. Puff said, "Thank Neptune he's gone."

Pearl and her friends then tried to tip toe until Mrs. Puff stopped them.

"Where do you think you are going?" Mrs. Puff said.

"Oh," Pearl said, "We were _''

"Going to get some fresh air," Lana lied.

"Oh," Mrs. Puff said. She then said in a deep voice, despite never being able to puff again, "STOP DILLY DALLYING AND DO MY LAUNDRY . . . NOW!"

Anna then said, "Okay, okay," and the girls began working.

Mrs. Puff then closed the front door, sat down on her couch, and turned on the TV.

"I deserve some relaxing time," she said, "I deserve it."

[murvinetaylor-blog]

The Second Blow: Chapter 6: Stay Stay Stay

It was already five o clock when Mrs. Puff was done calling the girls' parents. While she was preparing dinner, she heard the doorbell ring. When Mrs. Puff answered, it was Mr. Krabs, Lana's parents, and Anna's parents.

"We are here to drop off our daughters' things," Lana's dad said.

"Come on in," Mrs. Puff said, "You can set their stuff in the foyer. I will get the girls."

Mrs. Puff then came downstairs to the basement to unlock the door. She then said to Pearl, Anna, and Lana, "Girls, your parents are here with your clothes."

"What for?" asked Pearl.

"Well, I have called them to tell them that you will be staying here for quite a while," Mrs. Puff said, "I am going to give you a chance to talk to your parents one last time. They are in the living room."

When the girls went to the living room, Mr. Krabs said to Pearl, "Pearl, what in Davy Jones Locker, is wrong with you? I can't believe you lied to your own dad that you were sick and snuck out with your friends. Not only that, but you hurt Mrs. Puff severely. I hope living with her will teach you a lesson."

"Lana," Lana's mom said, "I can't believe you and Pearl injured Mrs. Puff."

"I agree with your mom," Lana's dad said, "You know she won't recover for a long time."

"Anna," Anna's mom said, "Why would you go ditch school with both of your friends? Not only that, but you all tried to run away from the accident instead of checking to see if Mrs. Puff and her student were okay and calling 9-1-1."

After the girls were done talking to their parents, Mrs. Puff then told the parents, "Don't worry about them. They will be in good hands."

When the parents were gone, Mrs. Puff told the girls to sit on the couch because she was going to talk to them.

"Okay," Mrs. Puff said, "As you know, this will be your new home. I will take you to and from school. Every day you will wake up at 6:30, you must always keep your room clean, and I will be assigning chores for you. If you don't do what I say, there will be punishments, and when I mean punishments, I mean SEVERE punishments."

Pearl, Anna, and Lana all nodded nervously.

"Now I will serve you dinner," Mrs. Puff said, "And it will be my homemade chili, like y'all had for lunch, and if you don't eat it, I will cut off your face."

"Oh no," Lana said, "I am not getting sick again."

"Too bad," Mrs. Puff said, "Now all of you sit down, while I heat up and serve the chili."

The girls obeyed, but when they got their chili, Lana just sulked and stared at her chili, while Anna and Pearl ate a little bit of theirs.

"Lana," Mrs. Puff said, giving Lana an icy stare, "Why aren't you eating your chili?"

Lana then said in a rather snarky tone, "Because I got poisoned by it earlier. I was puking and I nearly died thanks to you."

Mrs. Puff then said, "Remember what I said; if you don't eat your chili, I will remove your face."

"Like you would ever do that," Lana said, "And even if you tried, you wouldn't succeed because you are so crippled that I would beat you down before you could remove my face."

Mrs. Puff then became furious and offended and said, "THAT'S IT! I HAVE HAD IT WITH YOU ATTITUDE! SENSE YOU WON'T EAT YOUR CHILI, I AM GOING TO CUT OFF YOUR FACE."

Mrs. Puff then dragged Lana by her foot with one hand and the walker in the other. She may have still had to use that walker and was without her inflation sac, but she still had strong arms. Lana then started to scream loudly,

"AHHHH LET ME GO!"

"Too bad," Mrs. Puff said, "You should have eaten your chili."

Mrs. Puff then picked up a knife, by the handle, with her mouth and continued to drag Lana into one of the rooms in the basement.

As soon as Mrs. Puff was out of sight, Pearl said, "While Mrs. Puff is gone; let's quickly hide our food, so that she thinks we have eaten it."

"Great idea," Anna said. They then started to dump their food down the sink and washed away the evidence. After that, they finished their drinks and ate some real food out of the fridge. While they were munching on some of Mrs. Puff's diet chocolate cake, they heard Lana's scream from the basement.

"AHHHHH!"

"Um, Pearl," Anna said, "I think we need to see if Lana is okay."

"She'll be fine," Pearl responded.

"Um, Pearl, I think we need to go check," Anna said back.

The girls then rushed to the basement and the scream got louder. One of the doors then opened with Lana, whose face was now removed, and Mrs. Puff, who was holding a bloody knife.

"Did you eat your dinner, girls?" Mrs. Puff asked, "Because you don't want to end up like the poor turd, who now looks like a zombie."

"Yes," Pearl said.

"Yes, what," Mrs. Puff said.

Pearl then corrected herself and said, rather nervously, "Yes ma'am."

"Good," Mrs. Puff said, "Now start cleaning the kitchen. CHOP! CHOP!"

"Yes, ma'am," all three girls said.

They all got to work, except for Lana who was icing her under-face.

"Lana," Pearl said, "You are supposed to be helping."

"But I am in a lot of pain," Lana said, "And I am bleeding."

"Suck it up," Pearl said, "We shouldn't have to do all of this work just because you are in," Pearl made a quote sign with her fingers, "pain."

"My . . . under-face hurts so freaking bad," Lana whined.

"Quit your moaning, and help with the dishes for Neptune's sake," Pearl said.

"Now Pearl," Anna said, "I think that Lana needs to rest, okay. She has had it pretty rough back there. Lana, I think you should lie on the couch, and I will see if Mrs. Puff has any pain killers."

Pearl then said, "Great, now I have to do all of this work."

"Pearl," Anna said, "Just continue working so that Mrs. Puff doesn't get angry with us while I find some pain killer."

Pearl then said, "Alright fine, I will do the rest of this chore," and continued to clean reluctantly.

Anna started searching in cabinets and drawers. She also searched the counters until she could find Mrs. Puff's pain medicine that she had been taking for the pain from her injuries.

Anna then walked up to Lana with Mrs. Puff's prescription and said, "Here take this."

"Are you sure?" Lana said, "You don't think I will die from taking it."

"Trust me," Anna said, "I have taken this medicine before when I had to go through major surgery to have my appendix removed and now I am just fine."

"Okay," Lana said, "But if I get sick, it's on you."

She then took the pill.

"How do you feel?" Anna asked.

Lana just stared and in a few seconds, she was knocked out. It was kind of gross to watch Lana's eyes close by rolling into their sockets.

"Eww," Anna whispered.

She then picked Lana up and carried her into the guest room. After that, both Anna and Pearl continued to clean the kitchen. They washed all of the dishes, wiped down the counters, chair, and table, and swept and mopped the floor. They also wiped down all of the appliances. When they were done, the girls felt exhausted.

"Man," Pearl said, "I don't think I have ever done that much cleaning before."

"Me either," agreed Anna, "I am so tired that I may go to bed right now."

"Me too," Pearl said.

The girls put on their pajamas, brushed their teeth, and then hit the sack. They went to sleep in the guest bed. That night Pearl dreamed about the whole incident and woke up at two in the morning, screaming. Lana then threw a pillow at her.

"Pearl," Lana said in a cranky tone, "We are trying to sleep."

"Oh sorry Lana," Pearl said rather weary, "I had this scary dream that we got kidnapped by a deflated puffer fish, who made us live with her, and who cut off your face." She then looked at Lana and said, "Holy Neptune! It's true! AHHHHH!"

Pearl's scream was so loud that it woke Mrs. Puff up. She walked to the guest room, in a lavender night gown, with her hair in rollers.

"Who did that screaming?" Mrs. Puff asked in a cranky tone of voice.

"I did," Pearl said nervously.

"Well if I catch the next person who screams," Mrs. Puff said, and in a deep Satanic voice, she said, "I WILL CUT OUT YOUR TOUNGE."

"Why," said Lana, sarcastically, "You have already cut off my face. What else are you going to remove; our vocal chords so we can't scream or our legs so we can't run away from you?"

"Maybe," Mrs. Puff said, "Just don't let me catch any of you three screaming thus causing me to not get my beauty sleep."

"I don't think that sleep is going to make you look any better," Pearl said, "I mean you will still be ugly."

Mrs. Puff then became furious and knocked Pearl down with her walker and hit her with it. Mrs. Puff also jumped on her and beat her until she was unconscious.

"NOW GO TO SLEEP!" Mrs. Puff said, and she left the room.

[murvinetaylor-blog]

The Second Blow: Chapter 5: Track 'Em Down!

Mrs. Puff knew she had to get revenge on whoever injured her. That next morning she showered, did her personal hygiene, got dressed and put on some make-up. She got in her boat and drove to her boating school, even though she did not have a class to teach that day.

At the school, Mrs. Puff found a security camera, which had the accident recorded. She watched the recording a few times and paused at the part where the two girls climbed out of their destroyed car. Mrs. Puff then pulled out her phone and with her stalker app; she was able to identify who those girls were.

The stalker app said, "December 2, 2014 at 1:03 PM, 2 girls named Pearl Krabs and Lana Hade, crashed their car into another car. In the other car, there was a sponge by the name of SpongeBob SquarePants and a blow fish by the name of Poppy Puff."

Mrs. Puff thought, I must kidnap those two. She got back into her boat, with the stalker app still on.

Meanwhile, Pearl, Anna, and Lana were all at Anna's house. They all walked outside in the backyard while having a conversation. Little did they know, someone was waiting for them.

"My siblings are so loud," Anna said, "Hopefully, this is much better."

"I agree," Pearl said.

"Me too," Lana said, "So tell us more about your date with Dylan."'

Anna then said, "Oh it was romantic. Dylan swept me off my feet and he treats me like a princess."

"Awe that's sweet," Lana said, "I am glad you –"without warning, a rope flung around all three of the girls.

"What the heck?" Pearl wondered. That is when the rope pulled tight to where there was no escape.

The creeper, who was none other than Mrs. Puff, came out. Despite having to use a walker, she was pretty strong. With the rope in one hand and walker in the other, Mrs. Puff dragged the girls to her boat. She then pulled out a long piece of duct tape, which taped all three of the girls' mouths, got into the driver's seat and drove off.

When she got home, Mrs. Puff dragged all of the girls inside and locked the front door. "Hello my name is Mrs. Puff," she said with a friendly façade, "It is wonderful to meet you all. I will remove the duct tape from your mouths so that you can tell me your name."

Mrs. Puff then removed the duct tape from the girls' mouths, which was painful to them.

"Oww. That hurt," Anna commented, as all three girls rubbed their mouths.

Pearl then said, rather weird out, "Umm, my name is Pearl and you better tell me the meaning of this."

Mrs. Puff then said sweetly, "Not until I find out your friends' names."

Anna and Lana were also weird out. Anna then said, "My name is Anna."

Lana also said, "And I'm Lana."

Mrs. Puff then said, "Now, who is hungry? I have made some lunch."

"Well," Pearl said, "we are starving a little."

"Then how about you all follow me into the kitchen," Mrs. Puff said.

The girls then followed her and sat down at the table. Mrs. Puff then gave each the girls a bowl of chili.

"Try this," she said, "It's a recipe that I made."

Lana was the first to try. Only then did her mouth start to burn and her stomach began to cramp. She then puked into the sink.

"What the turd is this?" Lana asked.

Mrs. Puff then answered, "It's my homemade chili."

"What did you put in it?" Lana said then beginning to say, "Oh Neptune! I think I'm gonna hurl again." She then puked on the floor.

"Oh you poor girl," Mrs. Puff said, acting like she didn't do anything, "Why don't you lay in the guest room for a while? Just follow me."

Mrs. Puff then led Lana into one of the rooms in the basement. She opened the door and Lana walked in. As soon as she was in, Mrs. Puff quickly closed the door and locked her inside.

"HEY!" Lana shouted, "WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS? YOU BETTER LET ME OUT!"

Mrs. Puff then said, "Oh, I'm afraid I can't," and went upstairs.

As soon as Mrs. Puff made her way back up the stairs, she continued, "Now girls, why don't I take you to the basement because I have a surprise for you."

Pearl and Anna squealed.

"Is it tickets for a Boys Who Cry concert?!" Pearl wondered.

"Is it a new boat that we can drive to school?!" Anna wondered.

"Oh," Mrs. Puff said, "It's even better."

She led the two other girls into the basement and locked them in the same room where Lana was.

"IS THIS SOME KIND OF JOKE?!" Pearl screamed.

"YEAH," Anna said, "YOU BETTER LET US OUT!"

Mrs. Puff just walked off, ignoring the girls. She went back into the kitchen and picked up her phone and began to make a phone call to Pearl's dad.

She talked about what was on the news that December day and what she found out. She also mentioned all of her injuries and how it was the second time she lost her puff, except this time, she had to have her inflation sac removed.

"Pearl did what?" Mr. Krabs asked.

"She and her friend injured me severely. First, I have to deal with SpongeBob, and now this. I won't recover for a long time."

"Wow," Mr. Krabs said, "It must be tough. I hope it gets better for you."

"Let's hope so," Mrs. Puff said, "I think having Pearl and her friends stay with me will teach them a lesson. I will take them to and from school. They are at my place right now."

"Well," Mr. Krabs said, "It costs a lot to put them in military school, so I like your plan. Ain't no daughter of mine is going to get off Scott free for injuring people. Do you want me to send her some clothes and toiletries and of course underwear."

Mrs. Puff then said, "Oh send her a bunch of clothes and underwear, and I mean a lot because she will be staying for quite a while."

"Sure thing, my beloved angel," Mr. Krabs said.

Next was Lana and last were Anna's parents.

[murvinetaylor-blog]

The Second Blow: Chapter Four: Depression

Mrs. Puff spent 6 months in the hospital and had to take physical therapy. Her legs were broken severely and she went from wheel chair, to crutches, and was now in a walker. She also had to relearn to use her arms. As for her inflation sac, it was never going to recover. It was the organ that helped her puff up, as a defense mechanism. Without it, she would be vulnerable to any predator that eats puffer fish.

This wasn't the only time she had broken it, though. One time, when SpongeBob was taking his driving test, he failed like usual and caused her inflation sac to rupture. She was told that she would never puff again. This caused the puffer fish to become vengeful of the sponge, to the point of wanting him dead. Therefore, Mrs. Puff entered SpongeBob into a derby, hoping that he would get killed. When he didn't die, she later on tried to kill him herself. Fortunately, Mrs. Puff regained her puff when both she and SpongeBob crashed into the boating school.

Mrs. Puff could still remember it. Only this time, her inflation sac was destroyed for real, to the point where it had to be REMOVED! The wound became infected and there was nothing that the doctors could do. This was the most traumatizing thing that the poor puffer fish had experienced. She felt she could no longer go on.

Every day, Mrs. Puff would wallow in a deep depression that not even Prozac could help with. She began to let herself go. She neglected her personal hygiene, stopped wearing make-up, and wore the same clothes day after day. This made her look extremely rough, along with the wrinkleless, which was a result of being deflated.

"My life has no meaning, anymore," Mrs. Puff said, in a depressed and suicidal tone, "I just can't go on."

That's when she heard the doorbell ring.

"Who could it be?" she said, grabbing her walker and moving to the door. She answered it, only to find that it was SpongeBob.

"Hi Mrs. Puff," SpongeBob said sweetly.

Usually Mrs. Puff would freak out and tell him to get away from him, but she was too depressed to even become scared. She just said, "What do you want?"

SpongeBob then said, "To make you feel better."

"There is nothing you can do, "Mrs. Puff said, still sounding depressed and suicidal, "In fact you are the same person who put me in the hospital and got me in jail a bunch of times. Does that prove that you can make me feel better? Please tell me."

SpongeBob then replied remorsefully, "Mrs. Puff I never meant to hurt you. In fact, it makes me sad to see you this way: All depressed and sad. What happened to the Mrs. Puff I used to know?" Tears begin to fill his eyes.

"SpongeBob, remember that you once destroyed my inflation sac and made a joke about it," Mrs. Puff said.

"I'm really sorry," SpongeBob said, still crying, "I know what I did was wrong and I will try to make it up to you."

"Kill yourself," Mrs. Puff said, "I don't even want to see your face again. You make my life a living Davy Jones' Locker. I still want to know why you didn't get killed in that derby."

"Mrs. Puff, I now know that you hate me," SpongeBob said, "and I will try to accept that, but I want to help you." He then said in a slightly optimistic tone, "Maybe you might regain your puff the same way you did when we crashed into the boating school."

"SpongeBob, you don't get it! My inflation sac had to be REMOVED!" Mrs. Puff said, "It was ruptured so badly that they had to cut it out!"

"Why would they do that?" SpongeBob wondered.

"The wound was severely infected," Mrs. Puff explained. She then pulled her shirt slightly up to show a long scar. "That is the scar from the removal surgery."

"Aww," SpongeBob said, "Maybe a hug will make you feel better."

SpongeBob then wrapped his arms around her deflated body and said, "Mrs. Puff, you will always be my favorite teacher, even though you are now deflated. And remember that you are still pretty on the inside."

Mrs. Puff then said, in a sad and angry tone, "I am not. I am really ugly inside and out, yet you are the most annoying, un-teachable, troublesome student I have ever had. You couldn't even pass just to save your life and you are always causing catastrophes to happen!"

SpongeBob then said, "Don't worry Mrs. Puff. I will change my behavior and I will visit you every day after work, to brighten every day of your life."

Mrs. Puff became furious, "JUST LEAVE! I HOPE THAT YOU DIE!"

SpongeBob then began to cry. "I'm sorry Mrs. Puff," he said in a teary voice as he ran out the door.

As soon as SpongeBob left, Mrs. Puff then thought it over. She couldn't be sorry for hating her worst student, but she couldn't blame him for the condition that she was currently in.

If it was not SpongeBob's fault this time, then who was it? Mrs. Puff wondered. She then remembered how SpongeBob told her that two girls, who were in the boat, took off running.

Mrs. Puff then said to herself, "I must find those two girls and give them a taste of their own medicine. Then I will kidnap and torture them, so they know what I had to go through. And I will never let them leave. They will be mine for eternity."

She then laughed both evilly and psychotically, "Muwahahahahaha!"

[murvinetaylor-blog]

The Second Blow: Chapter 3: Let's Pretend This Never Happened.

As soon as Pearl and Lana found Anna, they started to run.

"Why are we running?" Anna asked.

"Because, we could end up on the news and get in more trouble than we are already going to be in," Lana said.

"Yeah," Pearl said, "But how will we get home?"

"We'll just take a bus," Anna said.

"But where are we going to find a bus that will drive us home?" Pearl asked.

"There is a bus stop," Anna said, pointing to a sign, "And it is only fifty cents per person."

The girls walked to the bus stop with the sign and while they were waiting, Anna pulled out a dollar and two quarters. In five minutes the bus arrived to pick them up and dropped them off to another bus stop that was the closest to their neighborhoods.

Back at the boating school, there was an ambulance and two paramedics carrying a deflated and severely injured Mrs. Puff.

"SpongeBob," Mrs. Puff said out of breath, "You will pay for this."

"SpongeBob, who was all bruised up from the accident, then said, "But Mrs. Puff, it wasn't me this time. It was another boat with two girls in it, who took off running."

"Well, they are going to pay," Mrs. Puff said, "OW! THE PAIN! THE TORTUREOUS PAIN!"

"Ma'am," one of the paramedics said, in a calm voice, "Try to stay calm. We are going to take you to the hospital and you will be in good hands."

As soon as Pearl got home, she climbed the rope she made, to get up into her room. After that, she changed back into her pajamas. She could hear her dad's footsteps, so she quickly crawled into bed.

"Pearl," Mr. Krabs said, as soon as he entered, "I have made you soup and Brussels sprouts and it is supposed to make you feel better."

"I hate Brussels sprouts," Pearl said, sounding purposely sick, "and besides, I am too sick to eat anything."

"Pearl," Mr. Krabs said, "Do you want to feel better?"

"Yes," Pearl said still trying to sound sick, "I will eat it latter."

Mr. Krabs then said, "Okay, Pearl. Let me know," and left the room.

Pearl felt exhausted from the running and anxiety of getting caught, so she decided to go downstairs to the living room to watch TV on the cheap, cruddy television that her dad bought. She sat on the couch and turned it on. The news was on. A woman, who was professionally dressed in a black jacket and her hair pulled up in a nice bun said,

"Today's story; a boat accident occurred at Mrs. Puff's boating school. Perch Perkins will give out all of the details."

The camera was then aimed at Perch Perkins, who was at the boating school. He then said, "Here I am at the boating school, where the collision occurred. You can see that both of the boats are beyond repair. Now SpongeBob Squarepants, a witness, will explain what he saw."

SpongeBob then walked into the camera.

Perch Perkins then said, "Mr. Squarepants can you please explain to us what you saw."

"Well," SpongeBob said, "I was taking my boating test, to earn my license, until this boat came and crashed into the boat I was driving. I was only bruised up, but my boating instructor, Mrs. Puff had to be taken to the hospital. When I got out of the boat, two girls got out of their boat, as well and took off running when I ran inside to call the ambulance."

"Can you identify these girls?" Perch said.

Pearl freaked out.

"Well, I can't identify their names nor what they look like because they were so fast for me to take a glimpse at them, but one of them looked familiar."

Pearl then turned off the TV and said to herself, "I'm gonna get caught? Like that will ever happen," and walked upstairs to go to the bathroom.

The next day at school, before first block, the three girls met at their usual spot, which was under the stairs. They talked about what happened the other day and how Lana and Pearl were almost mentioned on the news.

"You will never believe this," Lana said, "but I have to serve ISS."

"That sucks," Pearl said, "But look on the bright side."

"Bright side?" Lana said, "What bright side? There is none."

"Well at least the lady we injured didn't catch us," Pearl said.

"That is true," Anna said, "I would like to pretend that what happened yesterday didn't."

"How the ::dolphin noise:: can I pretend like none of that happened," Lana said, "I am getting punished for faking sick. First, I get severely grounded by my parents and now I got ISS."

"Well we can pretend you were just in your room," Pearl said, "and your friends took you out to go to the mall and we bought clothes and had a good time, then we got home, me and Anna got off Scott free, yet you got grounded and have ISS."

"Yeah," Lana said sarcastically, "Isn't it so wonderful that I am the butt monkey of this story?"

"Don't feel bad for yourself," Anna said, "You along with us are lucky. I jumped out of the boat, you and Pearl got in a car accident, yet none of us are injured."

"Stop acting rainbow and lollipops," Lana said, "I'm the only one getting punished and you don't seem to care."

When the warning bell rang, Anna and Pearl went to first block, while Lana went to ISS. Throughout the day, the three girls decided to forget about what happened. They figured that Mrs. Puff was going to be fine and that she won't find them. They weren't going to let guilt get in the way of their lives. Three months went by and Pearl and her friends didn't recall the accident. It wasn't even mentioned either.

[murvinetaylor-blog]

The Second Blow: Chapter two: Driving Test Day

SpongeBob was at boating school, as excited as he could be. This was because today was Driving Test Day. SpongeBob had failed his test over one-thousand times, but due to his optimism, he was for sure that he would pass this time. While SpongeBob waited for his turn, he tried to think of a way to stay calm, until a light bulb shone over his square head. I will just remember my mantra that Mrs. Puff taught me the last time that I took my driving test, he thought.

So, as soon as it was his turn, SpongeBob hopped into the driver's seat, right next to Mrs. Puff.

"Hi, Mrs. Puff," SpongeBob said in a chipper tone, "I'm extremely, absolutely, positively, very surly ready to take my test."

Mrs. Puff just sighed, feeling both annoyed and anxious. "Let's just get this over with," she said. She then thought, Let's hope that he kills me this time, rather than disabling me again.

SpongeBob then gently pressed on the brakes; he tried really hard to stay calm or otherwise he would fail or worse. He could get him and/or Mrs. Puff killed or he could destroy her inflation sac like he did one time. SpongeBob just kept thinking to himself, Focus on the road, there's nothing but the road.

At the same time, Pearl was still texting while driving. Lana and Anna started to feel nervous. Just then, Pearl started to drive off the road.

"Pearl," said Lana.

"Yeah?" replied Pearl.

Lana then shouted, "OPEN YOUR EYES!"

"How should I know?" Lana said, "You're the one who's driving."

Pearl then took her eyes off of her phone only to find that they were off of the pavement. "What are we going to do?" she said nervously.

Anna felt the most nervous and said, "I don't know about you guys, but I am jumping out. I'd rather hit the ground than to get into a collision!" With that, Anna undid her seatbelt, opened the door on her side of the boat, and jumped. She landed on the ground, with a few scrapes and bruises and was all covered in dirt.

"I'M OKAY!" she shouted as soon as she got up.

"Pearl," Lana said, "I think we are about to crash in that boating school over there." She pointed to the building with a lighthouse and a sign that said, "Mrs. Puff's Boating School."

Pearl then tried to drive back on the road. Having no success, the boat then started to spin towards the boating school, where SpongeBob was taking his driving test. Lana and Pearl then started to scream, "AHHHHHH!"

"WE'RE GOING TO DIE!" Lana shouted, "PEARL, DO SOMETHING!"

It was too late. The boat then destroyed the fence and crashed into the boat that SpongeBob was driving and an explosion occurred. KA-BOOM!

Both Lana and Pearl, only received minor injuries. They got out of the boat, which caught on fire a few seconds later

"Pearl," Lana said, in an angry tone, "You owe me a new boat. Now let's get the heck out of here before we get in trouble." Both girls then took off running before they got caught.

[murvinetaylor-blog]

The Second Blow : Chapter 1: Sick about the Test

Original upload date: 01/02/15- 04/11/16

Summary: Mrs. Puff loses her puff for the second time, except this time it is not SpongeBob's fault. Disclaimer: I do not own SpongeBob or any characters. They belong to Nickelodeon.

Pearl and her friends, Lana and Anna were sitting at a table in the school cafeteria, eating lunch.

"Hey girls," Lana said, "Did you know that there is going to be a test in Mrs. Dane's class tomorrow?"

"Oh shoot," Pearl said, "I have not studied."

"Me neither," said Anna, "I do not want to take the test."

"I feel sick about the test," Lana said.

"WAIT!" Pearl said, "Did you say 'sick' because that gives me an idea."

"What is it?" asked Lana.

"Yeah," Anna said, "What is it?"

Pearl then said, "What if we all faked sick tomorrow, so that we do not have to take the test?"

"Pearl, you are a genius," Anna said, "And while we are not at school, we could sneak out of the house to drive around."

"I agree with Anna," said Lana.

"Yeah," Pearl said, "While all of those losers will be taking a test, we will be having fun."

And so the next morning, Pearl stayed in her pajamas and tried to make her voice sound scratchy. Her dad Mr. Eugene Krabs, was downstairs.

"Pearl, what's wrong," Mr. Krabs asked, "You look sick."

"I don't feel too well," Pearl said, in a scratchy and pitiful sounding tone of voice, "and when I am sick, my voice changes."

"Go get the thermometer," Mr. Krabs said in an unusually concerned tone.

Pearl then went to the kitchen to get the thermometer and stuck it in a hot pot of freshly brewed coffee. She then went back to the living room and Mr. Krabs checked her temperature. The thermometer said one-hundred in ten degrees Fahrenheit.

"Oh no, you poor girl," said Mr. Krabs, "I am afraid that you can't come to school today."

"But what about the test?" Pearl said trying to sound pitiful.

"You will have to make-up the test," Mr. Krabs said, "I will call the principal and tell him that you won't be at school today. Now, go get some rest."

Pearl then went up to her room. She picked up her cell phone, having received a text from Lana saying, "We will b at ur place at 11," and Pearl responded, "K." After that she took a nap for a while and when she got up at ten O'clock, she got dressed, fixed her hair, and put on some make-up. By the time Pearl finished getting ready, she saw a boat outside of her window. It was Lana and Anna.

Pearl knew that if she tried to sneak out through the front door, she would get caught, as her dad decided to stay home from work to take care of her. So, what she did was stuffed a few things under her sheets to make it look like she was still in the bed. Pearl had also tried to think of a way to sneak through the window, until it hit her. She spotted a few scarves and belts lying around and tied the ends of them together to make a rope and tied it to the knob of her door. Pearl then climbed down the "rope" until she reached the ground.

"You made it," Lana said, "Now hop in."

Pearl then hoped in the back seat and the three girls drove off. They went to the mall for an hour and had lunch at the food court at twelve. When they went back into the car, Lana decided to let Pearl drive. They drove around the town for a while. Pearl then pulled out her phone and started texting, thus causing her to lose focus.

"Umm, Pearl, do you know what you are doing?" said Lana.

Pearl replied, "Yeah, I know what I am doing. Now don't distract me. I am trying to drive."

"Pearl," Anna said, "I think you are distracting yourself."