#good morning good afternoon good night it's currently 1:30 am where I'm at and i sacrificed sleep for this

[dirtybitfic]

COMPANY pt 1

Matt Sturniolo x y/n

contains~ business meeting , fight , slight degrading , little bit of flirting.

y/n pov -

Its currently 4 am and the only reason i'm awake is because my boss called me . I try my best not to fall back asleep as he goes on and on about shit I need to do before todays big meeting. Don't get me wrong I like my job but sometimes my boss drives me insane. I didn't sleep well last night which is not helping the current situation .

*phone call*

Matt - Y/n are you even listening right now

Y/n - Sorry yes mr sturniolo I'm just trying my best to stay awake right now

Matt - Well I will let you go back to bed but you better have things ready when I get to the office am I clear

y/n- yes sir I will have it ready

Matt- Good girl ill see you at 12

Y/n - yep see you in the afternoon

*phone call ends*

I woke back up around 8 and made my way to the office .

I always make it a point to look classy and wear business attire especially when we have big meetings like today. I wear an outfit that I know I look good in but comfortable enough I can sit through 3 hours and write notes for my boss.

I finished up my last task Mr. Sturniolo had giving me on the call earlier and sat at my desk waiting for him to arrive. I've been his assistant for about a year and a half. He's a pretty good boss though he can be harsh and assertive with me at times I try not to take it offensively .I know he just likes things a specific way .

I've been sitting for about 40 minutes when I get call from my boss and I immediately pick it up even though I don't exactly want too

*phone call*

y/n-hey mr sturniolo

matt-hi y/n I just called to tell you that the meeting has been pushed back too 1:30 our clients flight got delayed

y/n- Okay sounds good sir I just finished up the final touches on the presentation and the meeting room is set up and ready

Matt- Atta girl! thank you for getting all that done . Im sorry for calling you at 4 am I know it wasn't the best time

Y/n- Its okay I know you like things done perfectly so im not upset

Matt- Good well I'm parked down stairs and was about to go grab some coffee would you like to come with me?

Y/n- Sure why not ill head down now

Matt- Okay I took the blue convertible today so I have one of the claw clips you left in it a couple weeks ago so your hair doesn't get messed up

Y/n- Oh good thank you

Matt- Of course see you in a couple

Y/n- Yep heading down now bye

*Call ends*

One thing about my boss is he notices the little things most don't for example him knowing I wouldn't want to mess up my hair and keeping the clip in the car just incase I needed it. I know its just a small gesture but it makes me feel some type of way , a way I definitely should not be feeling about my boss. We have a slight age gap given he's 27 and i'm 23 which is yet another reason I should not have the thoughts that I do about him quit often.

I Made my way down to the private parking garage and walked around until I spotted my favorite car Mr Sturniolo owns. Obviously everyone loves a convertible but his is just perfection.

"Hey!" I greet him as I open the door and slide into my seat.

"Hi Good morning " he he greets me with a small smile.

" New suit?" I ask as I look over him noticing i've never seen him wear this suit.

" Yes actually it is" he says with a sigh .

" You don't like it do you?" I ask as I can tell from the sigh and his facial expressions he doesn't seem very excited about it.

" No I hate wearing colored suits but my brother insisted I wear it for todays meeting" he says with an eye roll making me laugh.

" Well for what its worth I think it looks good ... It brings out your eyes" I say smiling over at him.

he return the smile before asking where I want to go for coffee.

I told him to go to Philz so he heads there.

One thing that we do share is music taste so riding around with him is always good. We were listening to "Everlong by the foo fighters" when my phone started to ring.

I look down to see it is my ex who had recently broken up with me . I sigh as I immediately hit decline . He cheated on me for an entire year with a woman who owns a large art gallery and I only found out because I went with matt to buy art for his new penthouse he moved into and saw my boyfriend walking out of her office with lipstick on his face and an untied tie around his neck. Safe to say my boss saw a side of me I wished he never had.

I yelled at him for an hour outside the gallery when he finally broke up with me telling me " I don't love you anymore ... I actually never really did I just liked your body and living with you in your nice ass apartment " so obviously I punched him in the face and he cried like a bitch when I ended up "accidentally" breaking it .

Matt watched the entire thing and safe to say we did not end up buying anything from HER gallery. When we had gotten back to the car Matt had praised me for the way I handled myself and said he was proud of me for breaking his nose .

I felt bad acting how I did in front of him but i'm glad he didn't judge nor fire me for it.

" Zach again" he asks as he pulls into the parking lot giving me his full attention.

" Yes hes been trying to call me all week and I have been ignoring him " I answer as I throw my head back letting out a deep breath.

" They say you never know what you had until its gone . I have known your for a while now and I don't understand why he would cheat on you " he answers in a tone that shows anger and annoyance.

Im glad I have a boss who cares about me outside of work even though some would deem a conversation like this unprofessional it's very normal in our relationship.

"Yeah I don't know either but i'm over it I just want him to leave me alone" I answer ending it with a long sigh and looking over at him.

" Im sorry he's such an ass but we should go in and get our drinks and head back to the office" he answers as turns the car off and unlocks the doors.

I nod as we get out and make our way into Philz and order our drinks Matt always makes it a point to never let me pay which I appreciate but with the amount he pays me i'm very capable of buying my own coffee. I mean shit I live in a 3 bedroom open floor apartment all by myself , Just goes to show I make more than enough money.

We get our drinks and make our way back to the office to get settled in before the meeting.

As we were getting the projector up and running my phone started ringing again . I turn the ringer off and throw it in my bag rolling my eyes. It doesn't go unnoticed by matt when I catch a small smirk runs cross his lips. He doesn't smile too much , I notice that he only really smiles around his family and sometimes me if i'm lucky . He's intimidating which is one reason I was so scared when I first got the job but the thing that kept me going was one day about a month into working for him his mom came into the office and told me that I must be special because he went through 25 interviews before me and he had met me , He was very specific about how he wanted his assistant to act and behave and shockingly I guess that was me. He may have "liked me" but for the first year and a half he was cold and standoffish with me , he would practically ignore me unless he needed me for something or when he would tell me the things that needed to be done for the week.

He finally started warming up to me sometime last year and i'm really glad he did it makes the job 10 times better and enjoyable when he acknowledges and speaks to me .

I sat in my chair by the large windows as I zoned out looking over the city but was snapped out of it when our front desk guy told us through the intercom our clients were on the way up.

This new client we have is actually very exciting . The company that matt owns is a luxury advertisement production company . We make advertisements and plans on ways to promote products and grow the businesses me work with.

Our new client who is on their way up right now is a wine company . Their vineyards are located in the south of France and they have made a new champagne that is flavored with different fruits. They created a new flavor line which is peach, passion fruit , Pear and guava. At first I was skeptical of how well these flavors would taste and if they would really sell or not but after sampling them all I knew they were going to make amazing profit from the new collection.

I sat through thirty minutes of the meeting when my phone continuously rang and vibrated with calls and texts. I knew it was my ex and I started to get fed up so I stopped taking notes so I could just power off my phone.

I grabbed it from my bag with a roll as I saw 6 missed calls and 15 text messages that he had sent in the span of 30 minuets and started powering off my phone .

" You're assistant seems to be more interested in her phone than the importance of this meeting. I must say this is very unprofessional" I hear as my head snaps up and I make eye contact with one of our clients. He glares at me as he scolds me for being on my phone.

" i'm sorry I was just powering it off beca-" I try and explain myself but he immediately cuts me off before I get the chance.

" I don't want to hear any excuses . You need to learn how to respect the people who want to work with your company " he scoffs with a rude eye roll and I cant help the tears that start to fill my eyes.

I look at matt panicking but find him staring at me with an agreed look .

" i'm sorry would you excuse us for a second" matt says as he comes over pulling me out of my chair by my arm and dragging me out o the room.

"I-im sorry I didn't mean to-" I start to say as the tears stream down my face.

" Y/n you need to understand these are very important clients and if this goes right not only I will make a lot of money but so will you . I don't like the way he spoke to you but I will not compromise this deal by saying something to him. So we will take a few minutes for you to calm down and make him think that I set you straight and we will go back in" he says as he places a soft hand on my back soothing me .

I nod " yes sir" I answer as I calm my breathing and look up at him.

We keep eye contact as his eyes seem to grow darker . Something in me stirs as his hand moves up and down slowly on my back at some points getting so low he could grab my ass if he felt inclined too . I hater to say it but his soothing actions are turning me on. Ive always felt a tension between us but I used it aside just telling myself its his cold personality that makes every situation slightly intense .

He moves his hand to my chin holding it and moving my head up to really look at him . He slightly smiles " You calm down?" he asks in a deep voice that for some reason has me clenching my legs together.

"Yes sir i'm sorry for crying I just -"

"I know you don't like being patronized infant of people i've learned that throughout the years you've worked for me . Just be glad your well behaved or you'd really hate me " he says with what sounds like a small chuckle.

" why would I hate you?" I question as I step slightly closer.

"i'm not one to tolerate people misbehaving or defying me . You should know that by now" he answers in a more gravelly voice that has me clenching around nothing .

" right well umm should we go back in " I say in a wavering voice but clear my throat to try and play it off.

He smirks at me but nods his head .

He leads me back to the conference room with a hand on my lower back .

Im moving to open the door but stop when he start whispering to me.

" make it look like I corrected you okay " he whispers before opening the door .

I walk in as I distort my face to make it look as though I am upset and I move quickly to my seat and choose not to even look up at anyone .

I grab my computer and get to typing as matt starts back on the presentation and the clients make their comments and requests .

After about an hour the meeting comes to and end and they decide to go with us for their campaign.

" Me and my wife would like for you to come down to our vineyard in say 4 weeks and shoot promo videos and get photos for the videography does that time frame work for you Mr. Sturniolo?"

the man who blatantly degraded me asks as matt looks to me.

"y/n is the calendar clear that week?" he asks and I pull up his calendar that I schedule and go over it.

" Yes looks like there is only one meeting that week but its with gloria i'm sure we can reschedule it" I answer as I smile at both of them.

"Amazing well my wife is very excited for this campaign . She can be a bit much but what woman isn't right" he says jokingly to matt .

Matt smiles and nods as he leads him out of the office and to the elevator.

I audibly sigh and roll my eyes at his misogynistic comments , safe to say i'm not exactly thrilled ill have to deal with that man on a normal bases but its worth the money so I guess i'll just have to live with it.

Matt comes back in groaning and running his hands through his hair.

" I really do not like that guy" he says making me laugh.

" Trust me neither do I" I say making him chuckle and shake his head.

" He wants us to stay at his estate but I kindly declined . I told him We have many work calls we take and we wouldn't want to be a disruption " he says with a smirk .

I smile widely nodding my head

" Thank god I wouldn't want to be stuck in a house with that man for a day let alone an entire week" I say making him laugh.

" I'll book the hotel so you won't have to worry about that and we'll take the company jet " he says as he grabs his bag and powers off the projector.

" You sure I don't mind dealing with the hotel bookings" I say as I pack up my things as well.

" Yes I have a favorite hotel i've gone too many time there and I know they will give us amazing rooms and the view is amazing" he says as he walks over to me .

" Oh okay" I say smiling up at him.

His hand goes to my jaw like earlier as he moves his thumb softly back and forth .

I lean into the touch as he looks at me deeply like he's studying my soul.

" You did good today I know you're dealing with calls from that asshole and I appreciate you were powering off your phone " he says as he steps him closer to me .

I sigh as I avert my eyes

" Im sorry for causing our client to think of our company as less then because of my actions though" I say still not looking up at him.

" You did nothing wrong you're always a very good girl he's just an asshole who clearly doesn't respect woman"

I blush as I look up at him . His use of the term "good girl" today has gotten me feeling things I shouldn't.

He looks at me as I look up at him .

" If you ever need anything you call me okay . I know i'm your boss but I want you to consider me a friend too " he says as his hand slides down my neck to my shoulder.

His touch leaves goose bumps in its wake which i'm embarrassed about and I can tell he noticed my body reaction by the smirk that grows across his face.

" Yes sir I just wouldn't want to burden you with my problems you have enough to deal with as it is" I answer honestly .

He shakes his head sighing

" Sweetheart you could never be a burden no matter how hard you tried . You're the first assistant i've had for longer than 4 months which can only mean I like you very much and that is rare" he says making me smile .

" Thank you sir I like this job a lot and I hope to keep it for a very long time" I say as I step slightly closer . Our chest are almost flush against each other , im so close I can feel the heat radiating off of him.

" Trust me i'm not letting you go anytime soon " he says in a deep gravely voice that makes me feel such dirty things a literal whimper escapes me .

My eyes widen as I clear my throat and avert my eyes from his.

He grabs my face and turns it to face him again

" Did you just whimper " he asks with a smirk .

" What n-no I was clearing my throat" I say in a panic .

" Are you lying to me y/n " he asks in a teasing tone that almost has be whimpering again.

" No sir " I answer but avoid eye contact.

" Look me in the eyes and tell me the truth" he says in a demanding tone .

I feel as though i'm shrinking into myself as I look up at him .

" Im not lying to you I promise" I say as convincingly as I can.

" You better hope you're telling the truth" he says in a darker deeper voice that has me gulping .

" A-and why is that" I ask as I try and take a step back but bump into the table behind me.

" I don't like liars . Do know what bad lying little girls get y/n " he asks as he steps even closer and i'm forced to sit on the edge of the table as his body is positioned in-between my legs. If anyone where to walk in right now this would be a very compromising position to be in .

" No sir I-i don't" I say .

His entire demeanor changes his large presence now dark and cold as his hand moves to my neck pulling me closer as I gasp in shock.

"They get punished" he kind of growls more than speaks . My mouth opens but no words come out .

He lets go and steps back and goes back to his normal calm demeanor .

I sit in shock as he grabs his bag and starts walking to the door.

"Goodbye y/n see you Tuesday" he says in a kind of sing song tone that has me scoffing. He obviously finds it funny to leave me wet and speechless.

We've never had a moment like that sure we've had weird moments where a little flirting was involved but nothing like what the fuck that just was.

I hop off and grab my bag before rushing down the hall to the elevator . The second I get into my car I scream .

I don't exactly know why I did but it felt great.

I start up my car and put on my nighttime playlist and pull out of the parking garage and pull onto the bright light city roads.

The second I got home I went through all the messages and voicemails from Zach .

15 missed calls from Zach

37 missed texts

all consisting of " call me back" " Im sorry" " I love you so much please" " Fucking bitch answer me" " God your a cunt this is why I cheated on you" and a lot more .

I hate the fact that after listening to three of his voicemails i'm in full tears curled up on my floor in front of my huge floor to ceiling windows.

Im snapped out of my daze when I hear 5 loud bangs on my door . I jump up as my heart pounds . My apartment is the only one on this floor so its not like whoever it is has the wrong apartment .

I slowly make my way to the door when the bangs happen again this time harder .

"OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR Y/N" I hear Zach's voice from the other side .

I panic even more as I slowly go to open the door . The second I turn the lock the door barely open and a fuming Zach marches his way in.

He comes at me so fast I have no time to react . One hand is wrapped tightly around my neck as the other is grasping my hair so tightly I feel like my scalp is on fire.

" You think you're so fucking cute ignoring me huh don't you " he practically spits in my face.

" You-- cheated on me a-and broke up with me w-why are you mad" I choke on as I gasp for in in his tight hold.

" Don't you dare fucking speak to me like that . I said I was sorry but you just want to be a spoiled fucking bitch and ignore my calls" he bites out as his grip on my hair tightens and I scream out in pain.

" You think you are so perfect don't you good fucking too shoes but your just a pathetic little bitch who's unlovable " he shouts in my face as tears start to steam down my face and I cough as I try and pry his hand from my throat.

" I tried to love you I did but you are just so insufferable to be around you know that god your always so pleasant you never do anything bad you're fucking boring all you do is work and come home and sit around doing nothing like a pathetic little loser " He spits as he shoves me into the wall making me yelp.

His hand connects to my face as his fist hits my eye .

He has never acted like this before let alone hit me .

He immediately lets go and steps away also in shock of what he just did .

" I c-cant believe you actually j-just p-punch-ed m-ee" I say in a gasping panicked voiced.

"I-im sorry y/n I ... I didn't mean to I " he says as he steps further away with fear across his face.

"GET OUT GETH THE FUCK OUT " I scream as I fall to the floor and cry .

he runs out closing the door on his way.

My head is pounding my eyes isn't opening correctly and I haven't gotten off the floor in 2 hours.

My phone starts ringing making me jump but I turn it over to see "Matt Sturniolo(boss)" calling .

I don't answer because of the state i'm in and the last thing I want is my boss knowing wtf just happened .

I get a text

" y/f/m/l/n you better answer your phone this is very important" it reads. Judging by the fact he literally just used my full name I know I have to choice to answer his second call to me.

*phone call*

"H-hello" I say as I sniffle and try to make it sound like i'm not crying and my voice isn't stringed.

" Hey I know its late but the clients from today actually want us to come down Tommorrow and stay until the following Sunday and I already cancelled all the appointments this week that were a conflict so I need you up and ready at 10 am Tommorrow I will pick you up at 10 and well head to the airport" he rambles . I panic not knowing what to do I cant say i'm sick because he'll know thats a lie .

I stay silent as I continue sniffling trying to mask my situation .

" y/n are you there ? " he asks in a slightly worried tone.

"Y-yes its just that ... I can't leave Tommorrow " I say as my voice breaks with the last word.

" What why you obviously don't work Tommorrow so what is wrong?" he asks in more of an interrogational tone .

" I j-just cant okay " I bite back as tears start to stream down my face again.

" Y/n what's wrong are you crying " he asks his tone now soft.

"n-no " I try and say without giving away that i'm lying but obviously fail.

" I can hear you sniffling and your voice is choked up tell me what's wrong" he says in a sweet voice .

I sigh loudly " Zach came by earlier and he ..." I stop myself from finishing my sentence not wanting to tell my boss about the embarrassing events .

" He what y/n" his voice sounding slightly angry now.

" He yelled at me and said really hurtful things and then he ... he punched me " I answer in a squeaky raspy tone.

" HE HIT YOU" matt yells from the other side of the phone

"Y-yes" I say as more tears stream down my face .

"Thats it I'm coming to you is your door unlocked " he ask as I hear keys rattle in the background.

"Wait what n-no don't come here" I say in a panic . I do not want him seeing me like this its for one embarrassing and two he's my boss he shouldn't be coming to my apartment .

" Don't tell me no i'll be down there in 5 minutes that door better be unlocked"

I go to protest but the line goes dead.

As much as I love my apartment it doesn't help that Matt lives in the penthouse at the top floor of the building meaning he has easy access to come and see me if he really wants to hence why hell be down in 5 minutes .

I sit on my floor as I try and at least stop the crying before he gets here.

As i'm sitting calming myself my door opens and in walks matt.

I turn away from the door so he doesn't see my face.

" y/n where are y- why are you on the floor?" his voice rings as steps approach me .

I shrugged but burry my face in my arms .

I feel him sit next to me as his scent fills my nose . I sigh but still don't bring my head up .

" y/n look at me" he says in a soft sweet tone.

"No " I say as I shake my head .

"Y/n please you're safe with me you know that i'm not going to judge you" he says as his large hand soothe up and down on my back .

Im so embarrassed that at my grown age I'm crying infant of my fucking boos.

I lift my head and look at him as a look of anger and pain washes over his face.

" sweetheart" he whispers as he immediately pulls me into his chest cradling me . I feel as though i'm a little girl girl again being rocked back to sleep after a nightmare . I being sobbing in his arms as I choke out all the horrible things Zach called me and said to me.

" You are non of those things. Don't think for a second that what he says is true , You're are amazing , sweet, hard working and strong . He is a crazy ass motherfucker who didn't deserve you in the first place" he says as he rocks me slightly .

I for some reason feel inclined to crawl into his lap and bury my face in his chest . I know this entire situation should not be happening right now but I cant stop myself from doing it.

The thing is he lets me he pulls me closer as he smooths my hair and holds me to his chest tightly .

After god knows how long i've stopped crying and my breathing has become somewhat controlled.

I unbury my head from his chest and look up at him .

He smiles weakly

" My sweet girl" he says as his hand gently runs across my face wiping some tears away . I wince when his hand grazes my eye area.

" where are your pain meds ?" he asks as he runs his hand through my tossed hair .

" My bedside table" I answer in a whispered and exhausted tone.

" Alright come on lets get you upstairs " he says as he picks me up off his lap setting me on the ground and standing up then extending his hand to me , I take it as he pulls me up then follows me up the stairs to where my room is .

he tells me to get into bed as he runs down to the kitchen getting me water and rushing back up .

" which table right or left?" he asks .

I try and remember which one but cant so I just shrugged and answered that I couldn't remember so he goes to the rightsize on first .

He opens it and his mouth pops open as he looks at me .

"w-what are they in there " I ask in confusion as to why he looks shocked .

he just stares as me and slowly shakes his head .

It dawns on me after a couple seconds that that is the one I keep my "personal items in" . My body flys up in bed as I rush to close the drawer .

" Im so sorry I forgot about keeping those in that one I ... god thats so embarrassing.

" I never thought of you as the type to own things like that" he says with a laugh making me groan and hide my face in a pillow.

"Im only messing around with you , i'm not uncomfortable about seeing that its normal" he says as he walks to the other table finding the Advil and pouring out two in his hand .

" Take these to her with the swelling before it gets worse" he says as he walks over to me .

" were seriously just going to breeze over the fact that you ... my boss just say my ... "

" toys yes now take these" he says shoving his hand in my face . I sigh as I take them out of his hand and toe them into my mouth then take the water he had in his hand and swallow them down.

" Now i'm going to help you pack . Where are your suitcases " he says as he start walking around my room searching .

" You're actually joking right there is no way I can go looking like this" I say in a bratty tone . I didn't mean to use that tone its just the way it came out.

" First of all watch your tone but yes you're still coming and it will get better in a day or two and we don't have to start the campaign shooting until Tuesday so we can just stay in until then or when we go out you can just wear sunglasses. Now suitcases where are they?"

I groan but point to the door "hallway closet " I say as I yawn .

He nods and walks to the door opening it and coming back 5 seconds later with two suitcases in hand.

" Okay what do want to pack first pants, shirt ...? " he ask as he sets them out on the couch I have on the wall opposite my bed.

"Well I usually pack pants first "

" Okay where are your pants" he asks looking at me .

" Bottom three rows in the closet" I answer

" Any specific ones you want ?" he asks

" You know what how about you pick 4 pairs and i'll say yes or no " I say as I getting extra comfy in bed .

" Yes ma'am " he says jokingly as he makes his way to my large walk in closet.

He comes out 2 minutes later with 4 pairs in hand.

He holds up the first pair , I nod and he smiles " I really like these ones" he says as he happily packs them in my bag.

Second pair - I happily nod and he packs them.

Third pair - I dead pan as he laughs actually laughs . " You've gotta be kidding those were all the way at the back " I say as I give him a look. " why do you even own these " "They were part of a halloween costume like 2 years ago" he just shakes his head and sets them aside .

Fourth pair - " Matt this is a business trip" I say as a I shake my head no . " I know that sweetheart but we don't have to be in business attire the whole time" " I guess your right okay yes pack those"

"Okay next skirts pick 3 they are hung on the left side along with the dresses pick tow of those" I instruct him as I try and stay awake .

He comes back out with a big smile which i'm finding slightly unsettling given ive never seen him so cheerful before

dress one - " absolutely not"I say. He sighs and sets it aside

Dress two - I smile and nod yes . He neatly packs it

Skirt one - immediate yes

Skirt two - Yes

After 45 more minutes i'm fully packed except for underwear and socks.

"Okay last things are undergarments " he says as he looks at me waiting for to tell him where they are.

" Don't worry about those ill pack those in the morning " I say as I wave him off.

" I have a feeling if I let you do that you'll forget " he says as he tilts his head . I hate to admit but he probably right.

" fine okay top shelf of the drawers on the right wall" I say as my face flushes red. My boss definitely should not be handling my underwear and bras but at this point i'm to tired to care.

"wow these are organized so nicely" I hear him say from inside my closet.

Their's silence for a second before he comes out with a handful of my sets with a smirk on his face.

He sets them on top as well as socks .

"Okay done now shoes " I tell him where the shoes are and he picks all good options so that was easy.

He packs up my makeup and skincare bag putting them in the suitcase with the shoes .

" Okay fully packed and ready to go" he says as he pushes both cases by the door .

"Thank you Sir you really didn't have to do all of this" I say sincerely

" First of all as much as I love you calling me sir when we are outside the office call me matt you calling me sir makes me feel fucking old" he says with a smile.

I choke on air at his beginning comment with makes him chuckle.

" Im grateful I have you as a boss matt"

" Im great full to have you as my assistant y/n "

We both share smiles before he turns on my ceiling fan and comes and sits on the edge of my bed.

" I want you to know I genuinely do care about you y/n not just because you are my assistant but because your all around a great girl " he says as his pulls his hand on my comforter covered leg giving it small shake.

" Thank you matt really I couldn't ask for a better boss" I smile at him with half open eyes.

" I'll let you get some rest and ill take your extra key so you can sleep as long as you can and ill just come down and grab your bags and make sure your up and awake by 10" he says as he pats my leg and stands up.

" You sure I don't mind setting and alarm " I ask .

" Im sure now get some sleep and ill see you in the morning "

"Okay well see you in the morning and thank you again really "

" Of course . Good night y/n "

" Good night matt"

God what the fuck just happened ...

[laughingplant]

Personal Details

Well, since I'm going to use this to improve, I guess I need to be honest first with what I want to achieve and where I am at currently. As of right now, I am a woman in my early 20s who is 5'8/9 and I weigh about 165-170 give or take the week. It puts me at roughly 25.

According to the BMI classification:

Underweight: BMI less than 18.5

Normal weight: BMI 18.5 to 24.9

Overweight: BMI 25 to 29.9

Obesity: BMI 30 or greater

So I am right on that marker. My goal is to be at a body marker around 20 since it would be a nice in-between for it. That would mean I'd need to be 140 Lbs instead which is roughly a 30-25 pound weight removal.

I do feel like this is achievable, especially for my young age. If I develop good, healthy habits now, it would be a lot better than waiting until later.

At the moment, I don't really own a lot of workout gear beyond a treadmill, (which I love tbh. I wish I could've taken it with me to college but I was on the 3rd floor and didn't want to bother anyone below me.) which I will use as a key component of it all. So with that, I can use it as a main starting base and maybe do 30-minute treadmill and 30-minute arm workouts? Just food for thought. I have a playlist I used to use constantly when I was younger that I'll use again. GPT also gave me these things to focus on largely:

Hydration: Keep a water bottle or thermos with tea nearby to ensure you drink throughout the day. Aim for 16 cups (1 gallon) of fluid daily.

Variety: Mix up your workouts. Incorporate different types of exercise such as dancing, swimming, or cycling to keep things interesting.

Mindfulness: Practice mindfulness or meditation for at least 5-10 minutes daily to help manage stress and maintain mental health.

Sleep: Ensure you get at least 7-8 hours of sleep every night. Create a relaxing bedtime routine to improve sleep quality.

Flexibility: Allow some flexibility in your schedule. It's okay to switch things up if needed. The key is consistency over time, not perfection every day.

Journaling: Use your journal to reflect on your progress, jot down creative ideas, and note any challenges or achievements.

Pretty basic ideas, but some of them are new, which I think I'll enjoy. I'll probably drink mostly tea for my daily fluids since I've grown to appreciate the stuff a lot since college. I don't add anything except sometimes lemon crystals so it is a healthy alternative.

This is the rough concept of my plan, the following being the more detailed routine by day and times:

Weekly Schedule

General Daily Routine

Wake-up Time: 6:00 AM

Bedtime: 10:00 PM

Monday

Morning

6:00 AM: Wake up, wash face, brush teeth

6:15 AM: Morning stretch/yoga (15 mins)

6:30 AM: Breakfast (smoothie) and plan the day

7:00 AM: Reading (30 mins)

7:30 AM: Creative project (art/writing)

Midday

9:00 AM: 30-minute brisk walk or treadmill workout

9:30 AM: Shower and get ready for the day

10:00 AM: Work on creative projects

12:00 PM: Lunch

Afternoon

1:00 PM: Offline time outdoor activity or hobby

2:00 PM: Work on creative projects

4:00 PM: Hydration break (tea/water) and light snack

Evening

5:00 PM: Workout (strength training or cardio)

6:00 PM: Dinner 

7:00 PM: Free time (read, watch a show, etc.)

8:00 PM: Journal your day and plan for tomorrow

8:30 PM: Relaxation (meditation, light reading)

9:30 PM: Evening routine (brush teeth, wash face, apply lotion)

Tuesday

Morning

6:00 AM: Wake up, wash face, brush teeth

6:15 AM: Morning walk (15 mins)

6:30 AM: Breakfast (smoothie) and plan the day

7:00 AM: Reading (30 mins)

7:30 AM: Creative project (art/writing)

Midday

9:00 AM: 30-minute brisk walk or treadmill workout

9:30 AM: Shower and get ready for the day

10:00 AM: Work on creative projects

12:00 PM: Lunch (Grilled Chicken Salad)

Afternoon

1:00 PM: Offline time – visit a local park or nature walk

2:00 PM: Work on creative projects

4:00 PM: Hydration break (tea/water) and light snack

Evening

5:00 PM: Workout (strength training or cardio)

6:00 PM: Dinner

7:00 PM: Free time (read, watch a show, etc.)

8:00 PM: Journal your day and plan for tomorrow

8:30 PM: Relaxation (meditation, light reading)

9:30 PM: Evening routine (brush teeth, wash face, apply lotion)

Wednesday

Morning

6:00 AM: Wake up, wash face, brush teeth

6:15 AM: Morning stretch/yoga (15 mins)

6:30 AM: Breakfast (smoothie) and plan the day

7:00 AM: Reading (30 mins)

7:30 AM: Creative project (art/writing)

Midday

9:00 AM: 30-minute brisk walk or treadmill workout

9:30 AM: Shower and get ready for the day

10:00 AM: Work on creative projects

12:00 PM: Lunch

Afternoon

1:00 PM: Offline time – visit a local museum or library

2:00 PM: Work on creative projects

4:00 PM: Hydration break (tea/water) and light snack

Evening

5:00 PM: Workout (strength training or cardio)

6:00 PM: Dinner

7:00 PM: Free time (read, watch a show, etc.)

8:00 PM: Journal your day and plan for tomorrow

8:30 PM: Relaxation (meditation, light reading)

9:30 PM: Evening routine (brush teeth, wash face, apply lotion)

Thursday

Morning

6:00 AM: Wake up, wash face, brush teeth

6:15 AM: Morning walk (15 mins)

6:30 AM: Breakfast (smoothie) and plan the day

7:00 AM: Reading (30 mins)

7:30 AM: Creative project (art/writing)

Midday

9:00 AM: 30-minute brisk walk or treadmill workout

9:30 AM: Shower and get ready for the day

10:00 AM: Work on creative projects

12:00 PM: Lunch

Afternoon

1:00 PM: Offline time - sketching

2:00 PM: Work on creative projects

4:00 PM: Hydration break (tea/water) and light snack

Evening

5:00 PM: Workout (strength training or cardio)

6:00 PM: Dinner

7:00 PM: Free time (read, watch a show, etc.)

8:00 PM: Journal your day and plan for tomorrow

8:30 PM: Relaxation (meditation, light reading)

9:30 PM: Evening routine (brush teeth, wash face, apply lotion)

Friday

Morning

6:00 AM: Wake up, wash face, brush teeth

6:15 AM: Morning stretch/yoga (15 mins)

6:30 AM: Breakfast (smoothie) and plan the day

7:00 AM: Reading (30 mins)

7:30 AM: Creative project (art/writing)

Midday

9:00 AM: 30-minute brisk walk or treadmill workout

9:30 AM: Shower and get ready for the day

10:00 AM: Work on creative projects

12:00 PM: Lunch

Afternoon

1:00 PM: Offline time

2:00 PM: Work on creative projects

4:00 PM: Hydration break (tea/water) and light snack

Evening

5:00 PM: Workout (strength training or cardio)

6:00 PM: Dinner

7:00 PM: Free time (read, watch a show, etc.)

8:00 PM: Journal your day and plan for tomorrow

8:30 PM: Relaxation (meditation, light reading)

9:30 PM: Evening routine (brush teeth, wash face, apply lotion)

Saturday

Morning

6:00 AM: Wake up, wash face, brush teeth

6:15 AM: Morning walk (15 mins)

6:30 AM: Breakfast (smoothie) and plan the day

7:00 AM: Reading (30 mins)

7:30 AM: Creative project (art/writing)

Midday

9:00 AM: 30-minute brisk walk or treadmill workout

9:30 AM: Shower and get ready for the day

10:00 AM: Work on creative projects

12:00 PM: Lunch

Afternoon

1:00 PM: Offline time

2:00 PM: Work on creative projects

4:00 PM: Hydration break (tea/water) and light snack

Evening

5:00 PM: Workout (strength training or cardio)

6:00 PM: Dinner

7:00 PM: Free time (read, watch a show, etc.)

8:00 PM: Journal your day and plan for tomorrow

8:30 PM: Relaxation (meditation, light reading)

9:30 PM: Evening routine (brush teeth, wash face, apply lotion)

Sunday

Morning

6:00 AM: Wake up, wash face, brush teeth

6:15 AM: Morning stretch/yoga (15 mins)

6:30 AM: Breakfast (smoothie) and plan the day

7:00 AM: Reading (30 mins)

7:30 AM: Creative project (art/writing)

Midday

9:00 AM: 30-minute brisk walk or treadmill workout

9:30 AM: Shower and get ready for the day

10:00 AM: Work on creative projects

12:00 PM: Lunch (Quinoa-Stuffed Bell Peppers)

Afternoon

1:00 PM: Offline time relax and unwind (self-care, hobbies)

2:00 PM: Work on creative projects

4:00 PM: Hydration break (tea/water) and light snack

1:00 PM: Offline time relax and unwind (self-care, hobbies)

2:00 PM: Work on creative projects

4:00 PM: Hydration break (tea/water) and light snack

Evening

5:00 PM: Workout (strength training or cardio)

6:00 PM: Dinner

7:00 PM: Free time (read, watch a show, etc.)

8:00 PM: Journal your day and plan for tomorrow

8:30 PM: Relaxation (meditation, light reading)

9:30 PM: Evening routine (brush teeth, wash face, apply lotion)

It's not perfect, but it's a start. I tried to make it flexible, productive, and include things that I can sometimes forget on my worse days.

I want to read more, to draw more, to write more, I have so much I want to do, but it overwhelms me and makes me unproductive. It's devastating for my mental health, sometimes because all I want to do is be creative but then I fall down a rabbit hole of magnet fishing or scambaiting on YouTube and next thing I know, the day is gone! Hopefully, things will only look up from here, lol.

[keefwho]

May 30 - 2024 Thursday

10:36pm

5/10

Last night I recorded a good morning voice message for DS because I felt like it. Doing small little things like that is important for me because usually I'd refrain in case its too silly or something. My prompt yesterday was "let your voice be heard" and I did, literally. Its a very small thing but the intent behind it is large.

This morning I took the dogs out and showered. I made a frozen breakfast sandwich for lunch but I cut up my own onions for it and applied some hot sauce. Usually I'd eat something with it to help it agree with my tummy but I figured I could without because I wanted to eat small meals today since I've been up a couple pounds. My body handled it okay it seems. I had watched a sorta beginner art course video that explained using large areas and then using ovals to define planes easily which is exactly what i've been doing on my own.

To warm up today, I filled in all the little space left on my sketch sheet with rough gestures. Then I finished a YCH edit, did a YCH for 57, and readied a couple commissions for next month.

After work I spent time before lunch contacting people, doing some chores, and tending to my patreon. It was a very productive hour. For lunch I made soup and a grilled cheese. I gave myself ample time to chill and take a break since I actually felt like I earned it. Unfortunately I didn't know what I wanted to chill with so I watched an unsatisfying stream. The guy I like watching lately has starting playing CS:GO and similar games which actually melt my brain to watch. It's soooooo boring.

I finished this Celestia AI redraw I was working on this afternoon and worked on this Zelda drawing I had on the backburner. I asked TK if she wanted to call but she wasn't up for it today so I joined BR's server vc even though it was empty. I really needed to socialize because so few people have been around lately in general. BT joined but he's kinda weird and info dumps about stuff. Also nearly pulled me into the drama he's in surrounding other server members that I know nothing about. I also worked on my pony avatar for an hour.

After work I left the VC to play Cities Skylines. I got a couple new mods that might be crashing the game so I think I'll remove them. Admittedly I barely planned on using them. I asked DS if she wanted to chill and we did. I played Cities for a bit until it crashed, trying to relax and just have fun instead of making it feel like a chore or exercise. I realize I should be opening google earth and looking up locations for inspiration. It usually makes it very fun but feels like "cheating" as stupid as that sounds. Its the kind of mindset I want to let go of for any game I play. Its just a GAME I am PLAYing. Anyways she put on the 4 current episodes of season 2 of Smiling Friends which was a blast. Then we watched highlights of Oneyplays roasting the Nostalgia Critic and I suggested we watch a video of his so I have better context of who he actually is. I've always heard about him but never watched him. Then we did our puzzles before she headed off to bed since she has to wake up extra early tomorrow. I looked back on our evening feeling bad that I was so mellow and uninteresting. Its because I don't have anything on my mind to talk about lately with anyone really. Like I haven't taken in any new information to use. Its also possible I'm not treating myself with enough respect to speak my mind. Maybe I'm just thinking about things I don't think are worth sharing. Or maybe it's okay to have nothing on my mind really so I can just enjoy whatever is happening.

I tried playing some Roblox but my internet was cutting out like 1 out of every 3 minutes. I joined BR's server where they were watching the old ninja turtles movie which they still are as I write this.

My parents got home today so I don't have to tend to the dogs anymore. I did very good work today which I'm proud of, I have no regrets about my work ethic today. I just hope I can get out of this social rut, I don't feel like Im building relationships at all.

[sarahsmi13s]

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 9, 27, 28, 29, 30?

Sorry for the many questions, please don't feel pressured to answer any!!!

hey nonny! don't apologize at all! i'm happy to answer 💜

all answers will be under the cut!

1- what song makes you feel better?

oh that's a toughie! i suprisingly don't listen to music much. but Confetti Falling by Big Time Rush is one the makes me feel pumped up for sure!

2- what's your feel-good movie?

again another tough one 😂 but i find myself watching Set It Up, TGM (duh), and Resident Evil: Welcome to Racoon City if i find myself in need of a pick me up!

3- what's your favorite candle scent?

oooh usually something sweet (like cookies or vanilla) or something masculine because they're just cozy scents

4- what flower would you like to be given?

oh dang, i guess i've never thought about that! but fall asters (the purple ones) are my birth month flower so those would be nice, maybe some lilies or sunflowers

5- who do you feel the most you around?

oh getting deep here nonny 😂 but i mean, i think i have been blessed enough to not feel like i have to hide or change myself around anyone. sure, i don't talk about things with my parents that i would with my friends - because that's the point of having friends right? but i don't feel like have to hide any part of me around my parents or around my friends

9- what calms you down?

breathing exercises can work wonders. praying is something else that helps. sometimes a cold breeze can help, and others the presence of someone else can be very grounding!

27- what character would you want to be?

oh wow, that's tough. i'm currently watching S.W.A.T and Chris is an actual badass, so she would be fun. but i feel like i'd fit better in like 911, so through me in that show as my own character and i'd be golden 😂

28- hugs or hand-holding?

i am one of the biggest huggers, i love hugs. hand-holding is nice to, and i tend to play with my fingers when i'm in overwhelming situations, so having a partner that would let me do that would be nice. but i can't like hold hold hands for long because my hands get too hot and i don't like that

29- morning, afternoon, or night?

i think it depends, but i love dusk. the sunsets are stunning where i live! i don't really have mornings anymore, i kinda sleep through them -- but they can be peaceful when i do have them. and i seem to be getting all my writting done at night lately 😂 so i like all of them, but the view at dusk is just gorgeous

30- what reminds you of home (doesn’t have to mean house… just things that remind you of the feeling of home)?

warmth, warmth for sure. an overall sense of peace, love, and warmth. that's home for me. and of course certain smells and meals can invoke that feeling too! but the atmosphere is so important to feeling home.

thank you again nonny for your questions! love ya!

[broken-heart20x]

Sorry for any spelling and grammar errors. English is not my first language. Als,o I suck at writing but please enjoy!

Wanna say something really quick because this has been on my mind for DAYS!! Ok so I was thinking of ways of Gou and Satoshi possibly confessing to one another in the series, I know that the chance of that actually happening in canon is slim to none but let me have this okay also I mostly made this for fun. Anyways, let's continue.

Ok! Hear me out, what if instead of Gou being the one to confess, Satoshi does the confessing first? Here are my reasonings:

Satoshi has had multiple people in his past journeys have feelings for him (be it companions or characters that were there for a couple of episodes) yet he's too dense to even notice it. *coughcoughSerenacoughcough* So him actually fully recognizing his feeling romantic feelings by himself for someone rather than pure platonic feelings, will show that this person is more meaningful to him as in more than just a friend

As I explain a bit in the last point, it would be more impactful for the relationship and ship too because it would be shown that this isn't just another one-sided relationship. Because as much as I love shipping ships where there aren't canonical feelings present, it would be nice to have mutual feelings in this relationship. Satoshi hasn't shown much interest in many characters in a romantic way because he is a kid what do you expect? Sure he cares about them because they are his friends and that's the thing. It's just a simple friendship. (Not to invalidate friends because friends are great but not the point I'm trying to make)

I just to see a flustered Satoshi and not be a dense baby boy for once in his life.

Although I wrote this specifically for Satogou, I wrote this in a more broad way because shipping Satoshi with anyone comes with its fair share of conflicts and honestly I feel this is a more realistic approach for a stable relationship for Satoshi. Not over fantasizing about an immediate relationship between the two because both Gou and Satoshi are young. I feel like building their relationship over time would be more impactful. Honestly, I feel like Gou would have himself more figured out than Satoshi would granted Gou would still be a mess. So Satoshi being the one to pull himself together and figure himself out show that he has grown from that young trainer who didn't understand what crushes were to a person who knows what it's like to have someone that you love and care for because they are important and precious to you.

Without further ado:

Satoshi begins to be more self-aware of his feelings toward Gou but doesn't come to full terms with them yet because it's the first time he's felt this way and his actually aware of his feelings and not misinterpreting those feelings as friendship. Maybe a couple episodes before this series ends, he has fully embraced those feelings and tries to tell Gou what he is feeling, but can't be because he's busy with the World Championships. Meanwhile, Gou has been deciding what he wants to do next now that he's more fully capable of catching stronger Pokémon. Although Gou likes traveling with Satoshi, he feels like it's time for him to start his own journey. (Note: regarding their jobs as research fellows, Professor Sakuragi doesn't mind them leaving as he is very thankful for all the information they have given him. Besides Koharu had decided to help her father out. Although she doesn't want to be a professor like her father, she still wanted help out because to her, seeing the bond between Pokémon and human is something beautiful and special) Gou tells Satoshi that after the World Championships, he will be leaving but wants to continue to support his friend, Satoshi, from afar. Satoshi, although hurt at first, understands because he has done the same thing before and this wasn't the first time he and a friend split ways. However, this was the first time where he didn't want to leave his friend.

Their friendship has become a bit shaky after that but nonetheless, they support each other. Ok, so the World Championships end (depending on what the anime chooses of Satoshi either lost or won) and Gou and Satoshi are preparing to say goodbye and pack their stuff to go separate ways.

The night before Gou has to leave for his journey, he decides to sneak out and get some air because he couldn't sleep. Satoshi (also not being able to sleep) follows Gou (mind you that they both left their Pokémon to sleep) and finds him at the docs, the same place where he met Lugia when he first came to Vermillion City. Satoshi sits next to Gou and Gou was startled that he found him, but didn't mind having some company.

They end up talking about the journeys they'd had together as friends and research fellows while having a nice time overall. Eventually, Gou brings up that, at first, his impression of Satoshi was that he was cool ("is" Satoshi corrects) and how the next day when they had their fight, he thought that Satoshi was one of those guys, who pretend to be nice but end up being jerks. But when he saw him protecting those Ivysaur and Bulbasaur, he realized that Satoshi isn't that type of person and as they continued to travel together, his admiration for Satoshi has grown so much that now Satoshi is someone Gou considers to be special to him. Satoshi is speechless and Gou decides he's said enough and gets up to leave but Satoshi stops Gou from leaving. He confesses to Gou that he feels something toward him and for the first time in his life and actually wants to continue traveling with someone other than Pikachu. Before Gou could respond, Lugia appears in front of them and take them out for another joy ride where they talk about the future and come up with a plan. After their ride was over Lugia, this time didn't drop them off a mile away and they go back to the Laboratory and sleep peacefully together in separate beds.

When they wake up, it's time to say goodbye. Professor Sakuragi and Professor Oak shake his hand and tells Gou that they look forward to learning about what he discovered out in the world (Professor Sakugari promises to take care of Gou's Pokémon until he returns and those Pokémon that Gou sends back to the lab). His parents would be an emotional mess and worried if this was the correct decision, only to be assured by Gou that he'll be fine while his parent tightly embrace him. His Pokémon all give a huge group hug and Gou is trying to get oxygen into his lungs. Koharu tells Gou that she'll take care of his Pokémon and that he should stay safe out there then gives him a hug. What surprised everyone was when Satoshi doesn't give Gou a hug rather he gives him a....

A KISS!!!

no, I'm kidding haha

He and Gou simply fist bump and say that they'll be the first to reach their goal. As Gou boards, his ride (doesn't matter what mode of transportation) Satoshi goes to him and pulls off his cap from the top of his head and uses it to cover his and Gou’s face as he gives him a kiss on the cheek. Then he placed the hat on Gou's head and wished him safe travels. Gou nodded with determination on his face and got on board Satoshi goes back to the main group where he is bombarded with questions. He answered as best and simply as he could without giving too much away. As they go home, Koharu asks him, as they are away from the adult, why he kissed Gou's cheek rather than his lips and why he gave his hat away. Which Satoshi replied that he simply expects those two things to be returned in better quality and use than when he had them.

Gou and Satoshi part ways promising to be stronger people for themselves rather than for each other, so that when they reunite they can be stronger than ever before. First separately and then together. Like Pokémon and humans, separately they can be incredibly strong individuals but when they come together, it forges into something new, stronger, and special.

They wanted to see how far they can go individually and then how far they can go together once they have seen their own limitations. As much as I adore this ship I want what's best for Gou and Satoshi characters because I know neither will abandon their dream for the other and sometimes life takes us on separate roads but that doesn't mean that they won't cross again. Besides destiny and fate have a funny way of uniting people together. Be it with Pokémon with Pokémon, Pokémon with human, or human with human. Meetings like those, fateful meetings, aren't easy to forget and those meetings hold a special place in our hearts.

I believe Gou and Satoshi are fated partners (take that in a romantic or platonic sense) and regardless of what lies ahead in the Pokémon world, they will face it together until the day they part of ways. Regardless, where, when, why or how it happens (the separation), their relationship is truly something special ♡

Thanks for reading this stupid post that I had zero impulse control in making.

HAPPY SATOGOU WEEK EVERYONE!!! ♡♡♡♡♡♡

[shortqueershakespeare]

ALL QUESTIONS!! ALLLLL (except the one you said you were uncomfy answering ofc)

welcome to my daily essay procrastination (dw it is getting done I've just written like 1000 words and I need a break from literature type writing lol) 

1: Full name - Patch is my nickname for tumblr purposes! not sharing the rest (like I said) 

2: Age - 21 

3: 3 Fears - Abandonment, clowns, sleep paralysis 

4: 3 things I love - Theatre, languages, my puppy 

5: 4 turns on - Being dominated, lip biting, gentle physical contact, increasing physical contact 

6: 4 turns off - I genuinely don't know rn can u tell its been a while since I got laid lol, so I guess, being a dick, using certain terms for body parts, 

7: My best friend - Char is prob my best friend!! we currently communicate exclusively through animal crossing post lol 

8: Sexual orientation - Right this is somewhat challenging still but I'm gonna go gay 

9: My best first date - Would you believe I've only really been on two? I can't remember the first one v well but I'd be inclined to say that because all that first love shit was great 

10: How tall am I - 5' 3" i think?? 

11: What do I miss - uni 

12: What time were I born - I actually don't know exactly but it was definitely the afternoon 

13: Favourite color - Baby blue 

14: Do I have a crush - Yup 

15: Favourite quote - "The universe is seeming really huge right now. I need something to hold on to." 

16: Favourite place - I've got a few, a corner in the orchard at Hom, the nook under my window in my room, the bench up on the hill where I walk the dog 

17: Favourite food - Stir fry 

18: Do I use sarcasm - I think I was fluent in sarcasm before I was in English tbh 

19: What am I listening to right now - Right technically I cheated bc I just skipped a couple songs, but Bad Habit by Ben Platt and the puppy's snores 

20: First thing I notice in new person - Smile or voice 

21: Shoe size - 4 i think 

 22: Eye color - blue 

23: Hair color - a literal rainbow 

24: Favourite style of clothing - uhhh does generally gay count?? 

25: Ever done a prank call? - nope 

27: Meaning behind my URL - one of my friends once called me the shakespeare of nicknames as my other friend called me such a slytherin so i mashed them up (now changed bc fuck jkr)

28: Favourite movie - Moana atm, non animated either Let It Snow or Pitch Perfect 

29: Favourite song - Obv this changes a lot but the last few days, Wonderland by Taylor Swift 

30: Favourite band - Stornoway 

31: How I feel right now - Too damn warm and a lil sleepy 

32: Someone I love - my sister 

33: My current relationship status - furiously single 

34: My relationship with my parents - good 

35: Favourite holiday - when my friend and i went to austria at the end of year 13 

36: Tattoos and piercing i have - zero 

37: Tattoos and piercing i want - I want a few transition tattoos, a dodie lyric, something in russian, something watercolour 

38: The reason I joined Tumblr - Originally because it was 2013 and my friends and I were v much the typical tumblr demographic, this one to vent feelings about some shitty situations 

39: Do I and my last ex hate each other? - Pretty sure they both hate me, I don't hate them, but I hate how things worked out 

40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? - Sometimes yeah 

41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? - Nope 

42: When did I last hold hands? - Probably when I last went clubbing? 

43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? - Depends, I have to put T on, once i'm actually out of bed probably 15 minutes 

44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days? - nope 

45: Where am I right now? - on my sofa in my kitchen 

46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? - depends where i am, home city it'd be katherine, clubbing in cam, jules probably or char, drinking just in cam, umme or porters 

47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? - reasonable 

48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? - usually mostly with mum, currently exclusively with dad because quarantine 

49: Am I excited for anything? - getting this damn essay done and sleeping 

50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? - yep 

51: How often do I wear a fake smile? - not that often i don't think, but i am very good at hiding my emotions if i decide to 

52: When was the last time I hugged someone? - like 6 hours ago? 

53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? - not at all unexpected tbh 

54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not? - not at the moment, i think i've managed to stop trusting the person who would've fit this category 

55: What is something I disliked about today? - my sister got super stressed and cried and i just wanted to make everything okay 

56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? - ben platt 

57: What do I think about most? - rn animal crossing or work 

58: What’s my strangest talent? - i don't think i have one 

59: Do I have any strange phobias? - nope 

60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? - both, i love taking photos and i love having photos of me at important times 

61: What was the last lie I told? - god probably something dumb like no i absolutely did not just steal your cup of tea 

62: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? video chatting 

63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? - no, yes 

64: Do I believe in magic? - no 

65: Do I believe in luck? - yes 

66: What’s the weather like right now? - decent I think?? it's like 2 am so idk 

67: What was the last book I’ve read? - What Is to Be Done? by Chernyshevsky 

68: Do I like the smell of gasoline? - Fuck no 

69: Do I have any nicknames? - Bob, Bobbin, Robs, Rob, Stink, Little'un 

70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had? - that would probably be me getting a fish hook stuck in my thumb lollll 

71: Do I spend money or save it? - both 

72: Can I touch my nose with a tongue? - the fact that this said a tongue and not my tongue is... unsettling.. but yes 

73: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me? - yes 

74: Favourite animal? - elephant 

75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM? - writing the essay lol 

76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is? - morningstar i watch too much lucifer lol 

77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? - rain by ben platt 

78: How can you win my heart? - hug me when i'm sad, send me things that make you think of me 

79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? - he was there for me 

80: What is my favorite word? - mousse 

81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr - okay so i have five blogs and am so tempted to just list those but sewing-and-showtunes, aeternumregina, oneoveroneisone, ballym, xx-thedarklord-xx 

82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? - STAY THE FUCK INDOORS 

83: Do I have any relatives in jail? - no 

84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? - shapeshifting 

85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? - do i like myself 

86: What is my current desktop picture? - hamilton and laurens lol 8

7: Had sex? - yes

88: Bought condoms? - yes 

89: Gotten pregnant? - no 

90: Failed a class? - yes 

91: Kissed a boy? - yes 

92: Kissed a girl? - yes 

93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? - yes 

94: Had job? - yes 

95: Left the house without my wallet? - yes 

96: Bullied someone on the internet? - no 

97: Had sex in public? - yes 

98: Played on a sports team? - yes 

99: Smoked weed? - yes 

100: Did drugs? - no 

101: Smoked cigarettes? - yes 

102: Drank alcohol? - yes 

103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan? - no 

104: Been overweight? - no 

105: Been underweight? - no 

 106: Been to a wedding? - no 

107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? - yes 

108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight? - yes 

109: Been outside my home country? - yes 

110: Gotten my heart broken? - yes 

111: Been to a professional sports game? - no 

112: Broken a bone? - no 

113: Cut myself? - yes 

114: Been to prom? - no 

115: Been in airplane? - yes 

116: Fly by helicopter? - no 

117: What concerts have I been to? - dodie, stornoway, show of hands 

118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex? - yes 

119: Learned another language? - yes 

120: Wore make up? - yes 

121: Lost my virginity before I was 18? - yes 

122: Had oral sex? - yes 

123: Dyed my hair? - yes 

124: Voted in a presidential election? - i'm british 

125: Rode in an ambulance? - yes 

126: Had a surgery? - not unless my fish hook extraction counts 

127: Met someone famous? - yes 

128: Stalked someone on a social network? - yes 

129: Peed outside? - yes 

130: Been fishing? - FISH HOOK YES I HAVE I NEVER WILL AGAIN 

131: Helped with charity? - yes 

132: Been rejected by a crush? - yes 

133: Broken a mirror? - no 

134: What do I want for birthday? - a boyfriend lol, or tbh for quarantine to be over 

135: How many kids do I want and what will be their names? - oh lord who knows, i like the name scottie and archie for girls 

136: Was I named after anyone? - my middle name is after my gran 

137: Do I like my handwriting? - ehhhh 

138: What was my favourite toy as a child? - my teddy bear 

139: Favourite Tv Show? - Crazy Ex Girlfriend 

140: Where do I want to live when older? - Berlin, Cambridge or London 

141: Play any musical instrument? - used to play the violin v poorly 

142: One of my scars, how did I get it? - fish hook or pets 

143: Favourite pizza topping? - pepperoni 

144: Am I afraid of the dark? - no 

145: Am I afraid of heights? - sort of 

146: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? - don't think so 

147: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end? - yes 

148: What I’m really bad at - currently? being motivated 

149: What my greatest achievements are - getting into my uni, finally finding an antidepressant that works, coming out 

150: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me - oh yikes it's way too late at night to open that can of worms 

151: What I’d do if I won in a lottery - pay for my damn top surgery 

152: What do I like about myself - I'm empathetic 

153: My closest Tumblr friend - @oneoveroneisone 

154: Something I fantasise about - going to pride abroad 

155: Any question you’d like? - I'm gonna pass this to the anons, ask me questions?

[cinderllas-archived]

I'm not the anon but care to share your paranormal experiences?? I've always wanted to have one but it hasn't happened :(

absolutely! i love talking about this type of stuff :) it’s going to be quite long so i apologize in advance!

points 1 and 2 happened in house #11) when i was little, maybe 5 or 6, i often would see an elderly woman sat at the edge of my bed when it was to sleep. i don’t remember being scared, but rather interested in who the lady was cos i had never seen her before. so one night i asked my mum “who’s the old lady with funny glasses who sits at the end of my bed?” my mum went pale and her face dropped and turned to my dad not knowing what to say.. turns out the description i gave them was identical to my great grandmother. her “funny glasses” with thick black rimmed cat eye glasses from the 50′s.

2) when i was 12, i was laying in bed after i had just woken up for school (this is early, like around 7:30 - 8 am) and my mum was sitting on the side of my bed waking me up saying good morning, etc. i was still in elementary school so my school day started a bit later than my sister’s who was in highschool (she had already left for school about 30 minutes earlier and my dad had driven her so neither of them were home it was just me and my mum home). so i’m talking to my mum and my bedroom door is open that looks out into the hallway, and in the hallway on the wall there is a small painting on a canvas that my mum’s step-brother had painted before he killed himself. the painting is hung on the wall, but it’s the type of canvas where the back of the canvas is hollowed in and the border is thick and you have to like, secure the painting on the nail. (this was a bad description) but it’s the type where you literally have to lift the painting up and pull it off the wall. it cannot just fall. well, that’s exactly what happened. the painting fell off the wall. and it was so eerie because it was so quiet and then all of a sudden i see the painting come off the wall and fall to the ground. my mum told me later that day that that week was the anniversary of when he had killed himself. super strange. 

points 3, 4, 5, 6 and 7 happened in house #2:

3) when i was 16, i was upstairs and had opened my door to leave my room to go to the bathroom. as soon as i opened my door, the hall light turned on, then off two seconds later. i kind of froze and called out to my mum to see where she was, she was in her bedroom next door to mine so i knew it wasn’t her. she asked what was wrong so i said the hall light just turned on and off. and literally as soon as i finished the sentence the hall light turned on again. i still hadn’t moved and i called out again but quieter saying it just happened again (talking to my mum). then i hear my dad downstairs get out of his chair and walk across the living room to come to the bottom of the stairs and he asked what am i going on about? (the light switch for the hall light is only upstairs not down, so it couldn’t have been my dad either) and i said the light have gone on and off twice. and then they turned off again. and i remember saying “oh hell no” and i walked backward into my bedroom and shut the door.

4) also when i was 16/17 we had just moved into this new townhouse and it wasn’t an old development it was fairly new but idk i got weird vibes from it. so this event actually happened before the light switched thing i talked about in point 3. it was one of the first few nights after moving in. so on our front door we had three locks: a regular door lock, a chain lock, and a dead bolt lock. and on the back door to the backyard we had a regular lock that was installed in the door, as well as another built in lock on the screen door, and then we had a metal rod that was attached to the door that you would lift up so it laid horizontally to keep the door from opening. (we had a break-in scare at house #1 so we had extra precaution when we moved lol) anyway so one of the first nights in, i was trying to sleep and i heard a noise from downstairs. and it was the sound of the metal rod on the back door being released and it clanging to the side of the door. and like, that thing doesn’t just fall. you have to like wedge it out of position. i was terrified and didn’t go down to investigate but the next morning my mum told me that the bar had come down and she didn’t understand how and i was just like asdfghjl.

5) okay so this goes hand in hand with the point above, but this one has to do with the chain lock on the front door. essentially the same thing happened, i heard the chain unlatch and the metal chain clang against the door a few times. again i didn’t dare go downstairs to investigate and i also never found out if the chain had actually unlatched or not.

6) so this experience is the creepiest one for me because i was actually touched. this happened not too long after my nana died, so i’m convinced it was her just checking in and nothing malicious, but it was still creepy af. me and my nana used to sleep the same way - we would sleep on our right side, and then would have our right arm across our chest and our right hand be holding onto our left shoulder. (try to get a mental picture if you can) so one night i was trying to sleep, eyes were closed and my hand perched on top of my shoulder and i felt someone else’s hand on top of mine. my eyes flew open but i was paralyzed i could not move i couldn’t even open my mouth. instantly i thought it was nana and like i said i still believe it was her, because we both slept that way and she had not long passed, but i was just so frozen and it was so terrifying feeling that. when i think about it now, i feel like she was just trying to comfort me. also, after i told that story to my mum, she said “oh god that’s creepy that happened to nana years ago when granddad died, she said she felt someones hand touch hers and she believed it was granddad (her husband).” and i was like asksdkjdghskirg nope. and i have never slept with my hand on my shoulder since that night. i’m always super tucked in - no hands, feet, legs, or arms outside of the bed sheets.

7) one day during the afternoon (it was on the weekend) i was in the living room with my mum and we were just watching tv or something and we heard a noise come from the basement. it sounded like shuffling so we were freaking out (my dad was not home and my sister had moved out before this so we were home alone) and then we heard thumping and literally we were just looking at each other wide eyed. then all of a sudden we heard running/stomping coming up the basement stairs (the door to the basement is on the same level as the living room) and we both stood up and my mum grabbed my dog and we shuffled into the furthest corner because we truly believed there was someone downstairs running up to us. the stomping just got louder and we could tell it was getting close and then as soon as it got to the door it stopped. and then the door creaked. it didn’t open (thank god) but it creaked and i think we stood there for like 10 minutes before we moved. shook.

point 8 happened in house #3 (and my current house):

8) so this is more recent, within the past 3 years as this happened in the townhouse i’m currently living in. also this is the second scariest thing to happen to me. so on the second or third night in the new (and current) townhouse, i was walking upstairs to go to my room and my room was a mess of all my boxes and stuff and i also didn’t have a bed yet (my mattress was old so we got rid of it and hadn’t had time to get a new one so i was sleeping on the couch in the living room for about a week). but i went upstairs into my room to get something i can’t remember what, but i was leaning over a few boxes to get something from my desk and all of a sudden in my quiet, pitch black room i hear a little girls voice say “hiiiiiiiii” like a cheerful sigh. girl let me tell YOU how much my body started SHAKING after i heard that. i had never experienced anything like that before i was absolutely SHOOK. i was literally trembling. i didn’t move for a few minutes, and when i finally got the courage to move i backtracked into the hallway and yelled downstairs to my dad to hurry up and come up. my mum was in the bathroom with the door shut and she heard me call down to my dad so she opened the door (she was brushing her teeth and was like what?!) my dad came up the stairs looking a little panicked cos i was screaming hurry up!!! and i said “a little girl just said hi to me.” and my mum stopped brushing her teeth and her face dropped, she went pale and told me she heard the same thing the other day when she was unpacking all the bathroom stuff. she said she heard it from behind her in the hallway and when she turned there was nothing there. (i also just got chills down my spine typing this out because i’m sitting in my bedroom where this happened and just remembered her voice and just sdefh,edjkfnkesdlfhsrhg  i’m done). 

and just overall things happen all the time like t.vs turning off/on by themselves, shuffling noises, black shadows, white lights, orbs, scratching noises, etc. i believe my mum is haunted and that something has latched onto her because she has a lot of historical keepsake stuff from england that is said to be haunted and cursed. anyway if you read all of that thank you very much lmao and if anyone wants to discuss creepy stuff send me an ask!! i live for this type of stuff!

[threemoonsareshining]

i think you're such a cool person can you do as many as you'd like of the get to know you asks? i couldn't choose! i'm just desperate to know you lol

Hi anon! There are a lot of asks and I’m not that cool but I’m sad and bored again so I’ll do as many as I can.

1. Who was the last person you held hands with? I don’t think I’ve ever really held hands for real with anyone but I’m pretty sure the last time was about a week ago with one of my best friends bc we were in a place with lots of people and we didn’t want to get lost 2. Are you outgoing or shy? I’m the shyest person I know (actually no, I know a girl who is even shyer than me but I’m pretty close)3. Who are you looking forward to seeing? Not to sound cheesy or anything but I really want to see this guy I had something weird going on with not because of any special reason I just want to know where things are going4. Are you easy to get along with? I’d like to say I am but actually it’s really really hard to keep in touch with me and I’m not good at making conversation at all6. What kind of people are you attracted to? First of all, I’m not usually attracted to people at all, I don’t know why and when I am I always ask myself “girl why this one exactly?” and honestly, I don’t know. There are just some persons I feel comfortable with in a specific way and  then attraction grows from there idk I’m really not used to being attracted to anyone9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? Extremely10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? A friend of mine when I was really drunk at his house waiting for my parents to pick me up. I don’t really remember what we talked about but it felt very nice.11. What does the most recent text that you sent say? it says “no da miedo hihihi” which translates to “it’s not scary hihihi”12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now? right now I can’t stop listening to Fiji Water by Owl City (i’m so excited he’s releasing new music!), Your Mother’s Eyes, Rythm and Blues and Take a Walk by The head and the heart and It’s only life by The Shins.13. Do you like it when people play with your hair? I like it because it feels so so relaxing but at the same time it makes me anxious because I think that the more people touch it the dirtier and more damaged it gets and as a person who spends a considerable amount of time on my hair, that is not so nice15. What good thing happened this summer? I went to a festival in the town next to mine and I got to see all my friends after a long time and I had such a good time my heart hurts every time I think about it16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? Yess (idk if it’s bc I really like him or I just want to kiss someone)18. Do you still talk to your first crush? No! Actually I saw him a few months ago after… 6 years and we looked at each other like “are you who I think you are?”. I never really talked to him, he treated me like shit and he’s responsible for many of my insecurities so I believe it’s better this way hah21. What are you bad habits? I don’t sleep, I don’t pay as much attention as I should to my loved ones, I forget to eat and shower and I scratch my face like there’s no tomorrow my friend23. Do you have trust issues? Hell yeah I do. Literally everyone I knew left me when I was like 15 or so which is, you know, a crucial stage of your emotional development and stuff so since then I’ve never got close to anyone because what better strategy than not to be invested enough in a relationship so if it ends you don’t feel so bad about it!25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? My ears for sure. They stick out so that’s why I never wear my hair up in public. I thought about getting surgery but I want to stay true to myself and stuff.28. Who are you most comfortable around? I’m not 100% comfortable with anyone but I guess my best friend is a strong candidate.30. Do you ever want to get married? I never think about that because my brain always tells me “first find someone who is actually willing to marry you and then we’ll think about it”31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail? It’s long enough for 6 ponytails if you put your mind into it34. Do you play sports? What sports? Sports are bad and I hate them36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? I liked this guy for like 6 years and I literally never spoke a word to him but I think the way I looked at him made it pretty obvious (I guess that’s why he avoided me all the time)37. What do you say during awkward silences? I’m the Queen of awkward silences and I’ve learnt that it’s ok to not say anything. Or I’ll just sigh a lot.39. What are your favorite stores to shop in? Don’t make me think about shops rn bc I spent the whole afternoon trying to find something to wear to the 5 million Christmas dinners I have and everything was either too expensive, too ugly or just looked terrible on me so yeah I’m pretty mad40. What do you want to do after high school? I wanted to study something arts-related like filmmaking, music or dance, you know, the only things I actually used to enjoy but instead of that I decided to study economics because I hate myself41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? I think this depends on the circumstances but in my opinion and taking into account my own experience I’ll always give a second chance, maybe not immediately but eventually, I will.42. If you’re being extremely quiet what does it mean? It means I’m being me haha43. Do you smile at strangers? I try to but it’s scary45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning? I have no reason to get out of bed in the morning besides the fact that if I stop doing the things I should do I’ll never be able to catch up and everyone will go on with their lives while I stay the same and become mediocre and that’s just inconceivable to me. So basically I don’t live for myself but for the expectations people have of me.48. Have you ever been drunk? Yes and I wish I was rn honestly49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? Yes and since I don’t want to tell anyone I won’t say what it is52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself? I wish I wasn’t worried about literally everything because it’s so tiring and it keeps me from thinking about more important stuff64. Tell us the story of your first kiss? About a month ago I was at this party and everyone was telling me one of my friends I had been talking to for a while wanted to hook up with me and I kinda wanted to too but I’m too shy and anxious to make any moves so I got drunk, and  after avoiding him like 6546 times (bc I was really worried I would look stupid not bc I didn’t want to) I finally kissed him in front of an entire crowd of strangers and all my friends found out about it right afterwards so it was like a public event and I felt really exposed so yeah it wan’t ideal~ but also not the worst (I cringed so much while writing this, it was so awkward my god)69. Are you watching tv right now? Not right now but I’m about to watch the new episode of Crazy ex-girlfriend 72. How many pillows do you sleep with? 2, one for my head and other by my side to keep me some company (I’m so lonely oh my god)73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? A shar-pei puppy dog I have since I was born (it’s so so cute I love it his name is wrinkles)75. Favourite animal? Cats are not only my favourite animals but one of my favourite things on earth78. Favourite ice cream flavour? since ice cream is my favourite food I can’t really choose one flavour (anything but banana flavour tho)81. Favourite tv show? GoT and Mr Robot I can’t choose but there are so many82. Favourite movie? Billy Elliot86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo? Bruce the shark, he deserves more recognition94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have? I own lots of sweaters because you can never own enough sweaters (until you run out of space in your closet which is what’s happening to me)95. Last movie you watched? Tulip Fever. Not one of my favourites but last night I felt like watching some historic drama and romance shit (love it every once in a while). Alicia Vikander and Dane Dehaan tho98. Do you tan a lot? I used to but since I rarely leave my room during the summer I’ve become The Pale Friend™ 99. Have any pets? Two cats and I used to have fish but they weren’t my thing and I decided that no more fish would die because of me (I really tried but they just didn’t survive idk why)100. How are you feeling? I’m feeling really anxious right now and I can’t sleep. Partly it’s because I’ve got a lot of papers to write and a presentation on Monday and none of them are going especially well tbh, but there’s something else that is making me feel extremely uneasy and bad about myself and idk what it is but I’d like it to stop thank you very much102. Do you regret anything from your past? I regret not being able to enjoy these last 3 or 4 years of my life because they could’ve been some of the best years of my life but I was so full of sadness and hatred I just couldn’t pay attention to anything else108. What should you be doing? sleeping since 1 am but it’s 4 am and here we are115. Do you play the Wii? Who would I be without Just dance and Animal Crossing 116. Are you listening to music right now? yes, Rainbow Veins by Owl City (how unexpected)117. Do you like chicken noodle soup? I had that for dinner and it was beautiful118. Do you like Chinese food? The other day I cried tears of happiness because my mom ordered Chinese food for lunch119. Favourite book? Memorias the Idhún120. Are you afraid of the dark? Not so much now but not so long ago I would get what now I can consider almost panic attacks because the dark made me feel so anxious. I’d stay paralysed in my bed, feeling my arms numb and I can swear I heard stuff in my head and I got the feeling that I was literally dying.126. Are you currently bored? A little (these are a lot of questions but I want to finish them now)129. What your zodiac sign? Taurus131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? This is happening right now and I don’t like him that way so I just try to keep everything the same but also I try to keep the distances so he doesn’t misinterpret things (this makes me feel so bad for him sometimes but I’m trying to make him see that not liking him romantically doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy being with him). Let’s hope it works.133. Favourite lyrics right now? “I’ve been down the very road you’re walking now / It doesn’t have to be so dark and lonesome / It takes a while but we can figure this thing out / And turn it back around”  from It’s only life by The Shins.137. How tall are you? 164cm which I think is 5,3 feet138. Curly or Straight hair? My hair is curly af and it’s very inconvenient for… life you know140. Summer or Winter? Summer because of the holidays winter because of the feeling141. Night or Day? Night145. Tea or Coffee? Tea but coffee has been saving my life these past weeks146. Was today a good day? Today was a wasted and disappointing day.150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? “Con Elodin nunca se sabe —dije—. Si no está loco, es el mejor actor que he conocido jamás” from The Wise Man’s Fear. It translates to something like “’Who can say with Elodin?’ I said. ‘If he isn’t crazy, he’s the best actor I’ve ever met.’”

Congrats if you’ve managed to read all this without unfollowing me  🍃🍃🍃⛄️⛄️⛄️

[thatguygoescanada-blog]

Way too little time

So much happened the last few days... So there is no order ;)

My boss at the restaurant I am working in only gave me three shifts this week. So, I got 4 days off where I can ‘relax’. But of course I did not relax. 

I went to NoFrills (Tuna & Cinnamon) and Walmart (Oatmeal & Banana) and to Bulkbarn (TVP) on the way back. Florian (a 30 y/o guy from Germany) bought some stuff, too and invited me to a meat dinner (about 2 pounds each). I still have not payed for any meat in Canada. I mashed the Bananas and measured them in cups - 1/4 cup of banana is 50kcal. So now I got some frozen “muffins” of mashed bananas for my oatmeal. But I don't think that the portion size on the oatmeal package is correct. I only ate 200g (in terms of the portions) but more than 1/5 is gone. I will see how it turns out. I also got some good food from cleaning out the kitchen.

On two days, I worked a lot at the hostel, so I already got some good money this week.

Some girls (from Germany) left the hostel to take the bus to Calgary on Monday. I really liked them - we had good talks until the middle of the night. Perhaps I will be able to stay in contact with them. I am currently writing to them on a daily basis. It took them over 50 hours to get there - imagine sitting on the bus for such a long time. Some serious stuff happened at the hostel. Today we got a leak in the ladies washroom (flooded the stairwell), 3 days ago some guy beat up a prostitute and got arrested by special forces. Some guy who was kicked out of the hostel just reappeared inside... 

I am eating anti cyclic at the moment. There are days where I only eat 1000kcal (today) and some feasts where I eat so much that I am not hungry the next morning (yesterday). I have to try to get this a little bit more steady, but it is difficult with Florian. Because if he cooks something, he cooks much. And if he has some leftovers (he always does), he offers them to (almost) anyone. Such a giving guy. With him and Iman (a girl from France) we introduced a sharing culture at some meals this week where everyone shared with everyone. I really liked it.

I looked up many woofing hosts last Sunday and made an account last Sunday. I have to write them today or tomorrow. 

I looked it up today - I worked 64 hours in the last 7 days - that is about 9h every day - 7 days a week. It it really much, but I am making some good money. But that’s the reason why there are so little entries in here and why my bi-daily workouts are skipped on some days. But I still have some sort of social life. Life is really really good right now. And I got paid 460 bucks yesterday...

The wifi is still broken at the hostel... But today I just took a router I found in the basement and configured it. I now have my private wifi network. No-one but me can use it since no-one has the key. And magically, my internet is really really fast. I have to try it tomorrow in the afternoon since many people are out partying right now. But I think the bottleneck are the hotspots, not the connection itself. But apparently, my WiFi turned off a few minutes ago. I have to recheck - perhaps something broke... I don’t have WiFi everywhere, but it is okay in the kitchen and in my room. Aaaand I'm back. The plug was not plugged in correctly - my wifi works fine again.

I started learning Spanish last week, but I still only listened to the first of 12 CDs. So it will take some time.. But if I work 64h/week, I have no energy left...

This is it for now... I will try to give more updates, but there I don't know where I can cut some time...