#gonna try real hard to come back and tag this tomorrow when i'm less tired but no promises

[parf-fan]

I have goals.  I have many goals.  Most are grand and lofty and multistepped and require learning and a hefty investment of time and energy.

I also have Executive Function Deficit Disorder – more officially but misleadingly known as adhd – which leaves me in a consistent deficit of time and energy, and brings about floundering on multistepped processes.

Among my grand and lofty goals that have thus far come to naught is the project of editing the Faire footage I captured 2017 onward.  My dream here is to edit the best moments from the best takes seamlessly together, clean up the audio, and provide captions.  This requires not only that I compare and decide between certain takes, but that I cut them together perfectly; not only that I acquire audio-editing software (which I have), but that I learn the full breadth of how to use it; and not only that I transcribe the videos, but that I go through the process of making captions out of those transcriptions.

Guess what's never happened?  Any of that.

The head writer of PARF studied under a stagecraft professor who would say “Perfect is pretty; done is beautiful.”  Though I understood little about adhd at the time, that quote stuck with me when I found it back in maybe 2014 on an old blog post or something about a song project whilst creeping on the social media of my favorite out-of-house act.  With an understanding of adhd, that advice hits different.

I began filming PARF shows in September of  2017.  That's all but three years ago now.  I have come to realize and accept that, at least so long as this wretched adhd goes untreated, my grand plans for these videos logistically cannot happen, or at least logistically will not happen.  And it's not fair to deprive fellow PARFites of these captured performances.  After all, I see far more people filming at the Faire with decent-to-high quality equipment than I see videos posted anywhere, and I resent the hell out of such folk.  My hypocrisy may have specific cause, yet it is hypocrisy nonetheless.

This past week, I've spent every spare moment I could in giving my 2017 footage a barebones edit.  My plan is to continue doing this with my 2018 footage, and the 2019 footage I successfully entreated my friends and family members to to shoot while I was occupied with responsibilities elsewhere.  Starting today, I'll be posting these barebones edits on the magical Tube of You.  I intend to post at least one video a day until they're all up, and of course I'll be dropping links to them over here.

I've not given up on the lofty goals. I still fully intend to make fancy comprehensive captioned edits in addition to these barebones ones.  Like director's cuts, except I'm not the director.  Editor's cuts, I guess.  Yet I know that I cannot promise these editor's cuts.  Intention is important, but it is not everything.

My worst complaint about the videos as I'll be posting them, which I will give a blanket warning about now, is the audio.  None of the audio is exactly stellar, and some of it became actively corrupted somehow, causing all dialogue to sound as unto the speech of daleks.  And as I neither know the cause nor yet understand the audio-editing software, I cannot to even attempt to fix it.

Beyond that, my cinematographic style relies heavily on zooming in and out on various characters and actions (which occasionally backfires when the camera refuses to focus after zooming, you’ll definitely see some of that), yet my camera spent 2018 under the impression that zooming meant it should shut off, leaving me with naught but panning and tilting, which only goes so far when one is stationary.

And, of course, there are some moments that I simply never captured – my camera can't go much longer than thirty minutes of filming before it must stop to process the footage. In some cases, I was able to film the same moment on a later day, but not always.  (In my personal collection, I've dealt with this by slotting in footage form others' videos, but I'll obviously not be posting those, at least not without permission, which I've not obtained.)

In conclusion, and at risk of sounding like an internet celebrity or something, watch this space.  Also, please hold me accountable.  Pester me if I stop posting videos before we get through them all.

[rpmemesbyarat]

RP Meme Lines from "AHS: Coven" Episode 13: "The Seven Wonders"

I've chosen caviar from the Caspian Sea served on blinis along with champagne as fitting stand-ins as we partake of our own last supper.

When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I understood like a child, I thought like a child. But when I became a woman, I put aside childish things.

Put aside fears, reservations and petty things.

Kick ass tomorrow.

What if I can't do it?

Almost sounds like you want it.

Commonly only known to the public as mind control. It's a tricky little craft. When properly exercised, can bend the strongest of wills to your desire.

Nobody controls my mind but me.

Knock it off!

Ow! Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!

Well done.

I'm not done.

Now, lick it.

That's enough. Let's move on.

Having fun yet?

If your soul hasn't returned to your body by sunup, you'll die.

You're the first to return.

It was horrible. I was stuck on a network musical. It was a live version of The Sound of Music. I wasn't even the lead.

I'm right here, it's okay.

Freak. You're a freak.

No, I don't wanna kill a living thing.

No, you can't make me kill a living thing.

We have to help her.

There's nothing we can do.

Follow my voice.

You're a stone-cold bitch.

When you play with fire, you get burned.

Tag, you're it.

Gotcha. No tag-backs.

Can't we just have a little fun?

Suck it. Ha-ha-ha!

Nothing's happening.

What's "deserve" got to do with any of this?

So either crown me or kiss my ass.

I can feel all their eyes on me.

Maybe we deserve to die out.

Why did you leave me? You said you'd never leave me

My mother was always right.

How true is it that a prophet is never recognized in his own country?

Well, I guess it's different when it's your own family.

You have royal blood in your veins.

I was a fool not to have realized it earlier, seeking all this time in the dust for that which may have been right before us all along.

You must let it out.

I'd stake your life on it.

I'm not stupid.

Are you ready?

What did you see?

This thing started as a competition. I say we end it like one.

Divination. Let's rock.

This is stupid. I'm not doing it.

Let me show you real power.

Divination first.

We're doing this by the book.

I'm sick of your book.

I have so many powers, I could tear this room apart until there's nothing left but your little trinkets, but, no, I have to do this bullshit.

There's something in the thing.

Because the game is rigged, [NAME]. Wake up.

You would accuse us of chicanery?

I didn't even wanna come here.

I'm going back to Hollywood where people are normal.

I suggest you change the locks, because when I tell TMZ everything it won't be long before torches, pitchforks, and Molotov cocktails become a real big part of your day.

Peace out!

What do you want, dumb-ass?

You let her die.

Why did you let her die?

You know that dark place! We've both been there!

I did it for us.

You're not that good an actress.

No one will wonder where the body went once we bury her.

Since your extraordinary public statement last month there has been quite a bit of fanfare.

We are not a cult. We don't proselytize. We have no agenda. We're not recruiting.

Women who identify as witches are born as such and their abilities, which we call powers are part of who they are, part of their DNA, if you will.

So in fact, you're saying that it's not a choice, being a witch.

There are so many young witches who have resisted their calling because they're afraid of how they may be perceived, or what's expected of them.

But you know, when you hide in the shadows, you are less visible, you have less protection.

We'll always be targets for the ignorant. It is what it is.

There is a home and a family waiting for you.

I'm so proud of you.

Start by telling them that being an authority figure requires you to make hard, unpopular decisions for the greater good.

Your tasteful modesty is out of fashion, so knock it off.

Thanks to you, we're entering a new era.

You've planted the seeds but in order to reap their harvest, you have to clear the rot of the past.

I love your metaphors, but I have no idea what you're talking about.

I'm not suggesting. I'm insisting.

You want to be burned at the stake?

At the start of your glorious reign the last thing you need is an ABSCAM or Watergate.

I killed and I must pay for it.

I didn't hear this.

I've made many painful mistakes in my life. I want my death to have some meaning.

Stiff upper lip, my dear.

You cannot be a hypocrite. I won't stand for it.

Any last words?

Balenciaga!

I'm excited. I wanna get in there and show what I can do.

You gotta check this shit out. Line's around the block.

We'll buy more houses if we have to.

I got your back.

Should we open the doors now?

There's just one more thing I need to deal with.

I saw you die.

You men, with your fragile egos.

We still have a deal, babe.

I'm going to Paris for just a couple days.

Why? Why would she decide to do that?

I mean, it won't be pleasant for you. But if you do it right, I promise you the world.

I'm gonna put something inside you.

What happens when I wake up from this vision?

If you're gonna offer me your spit, I'll take it straight from the spigot.

I ruined a perfectly good pair of Jimmy Chaos.

I knew you'd get rid of him for me, once he served his purpose.

Whose blood was it?

I never killed anybody. Not yet.

That was the plan. Let you do the dirty work.

You didn't come here to kill me.

You were hoping I'd put you out of your misery, but I don't need to. You're close. I doubt you'll make it through the night.

Is that why you were always so awful to me? Because you knew I was going to take your power some day?

A woman becomes a mother, she can't help but see her mortality in that cherubic little face.

Every time I looked at you, I saw my own death.

You were a constant reminder of my worst fears.

Oh, and all this time, I thought you just didn't like me.

It was nothing personal, darling.

I loved you plenty, though. Just my own way. Which, I'll admit, had its limitations.

I can feel the power vibrating off of you.

It feels good, doesn't it?

I have to die for you to truly live.

I'm not crying over you. I'm crying for me.

You were the monster in every one of my closets.

A lifetime spent either trying to prove myself to you, get close to you, or get away from you.

God knows you'll do a better job of it than I ever did though you won't look half as good doing it.

For God's sake, have mercy on me. Put me out of my misery. I hurt everywhere.

You're scared, maybe for the first time in your life.

You have to do this alone. And the only way out is through. So feel the fear and the pain. Let it all in and then let it all go.

I don't think we ever hugged.

You're up. I hope you're hungry.

Oh, get those goddamn things out of my face.

Why you always gotta be like this?

I'm tired of fighting.

How long have we been here?

If you want a stiff one, come over here.

Don't be vulgar.

Maybe you ought to lay off the sauce for a while.

Drink in the fresh air.

I can't spend eternity here.

This place it reeks of fish and cat piss.

I'm in heaven.

All right, let's open the doors.

We survived. Up until now, that's all we've done.

I know together we can do more than survive. It's our time to thrive.