#gonna sleep nao

[pancake-breakfast]

Sorry it took me so long to get these notes up. Between internet issues and pure busy-ness, it's been rough. But here they are! The notes from AX Day 1's Trigun Stampede panel! Now with images! (Sorry for Chilchuck's head in most of them. He's awfully tall for a half-foot.)

Trigun Stampede presented by Toho Animation, Studio Orange, and Crunchyroll

The guests for this panel were Yoshihiro Watanabe (producer at Orange) and Katsuhiro Takei (producer at Toho animation), with Steve Liu from Crunchyroll hosting. (They had a translator as well, but Watanabe promptly stole her job.)

One other thing I'm going to note before we get started is that this was Takei's first time talking about all this in front of an audience since Episode 12 aired. He kept looking out at the practically full auditorium (the panel was held in one of the ballrooms, so easily one of the biggest rooms at the venue) and seeing all the fans and cosplayers and just grinning from ear to ear. He was clearly very exited.

Introduction

They started off by playing a quick video recapping Season 1. (It really made me want to watch the show on a big screen. It looks great even on a projector!) After the video, Liu started in on the interview questions. Please don't take anything below as a direct quote unless it's in quotation marks; I'm not that fast with my notes, so I'm mostly paraphrasing and relying on my memory, either of which could include my own misinterpretation or just be flat-out wrong.

The first question was, how do you feel about the future of the series?

Watanabe said their passion (for creating more of the series) was burning within them.

Takei noted that when the show was initially announced at AX some years back, they were very nervous about it since they were remaking a well-known and well-loved title, but today, looking out at all the fans, he felt a lot more confident.

Behind the Scenes of Trigun Stampede

They then showed some concept art from the famed Trigun Bible. This included what Watanabe called "Vash's projection of Rem." Seems like they came up with this design before coming up with Vash's dark design.

They also shared some concept art of what most people assume to be spiky-haired Vash...

...but which Watanabe quickly noted is actually Vash in Episode 1. You know, when he's hanging upside-down. Takei added that Muto, the director, was a bit mischievous and had a tendency to lie to the staff about when certain designs would appear in the series. He apparently hid a handful of Easter eggs and foreshadowing (like Vash having spikier hair) throughout the series.

They also had some concept art of Knives and of Vash's wing.

They then showed some concept art for some friends all y'all might recognize if you read the manga....

...but in case you didn't, I'll identify the characters below:

Top Row: Vash the Stampede, Millions Knives, Meryl Stryfe, Roberto Deniro (the blank one), Legato Bluesummers

Bottom Row: Monev the Gale, Dominique the Cyclops, Leonof the Puppet-Master, E.G. the Mine, Nicholas the Punisher, Midvalley the Hornfreak, Hoppered the Gauntlet, Rai-Dei the Blade (his name doesn't actually look like Rai-Dei here, though, so they may be calling him something different or they may just be subbing in kanji; it's too small for me to tell), Grey the Ninelives, Livio the Double Fang, Zazie the Beast, Elendira the Crimsonnail

If you're sitting there thinking, "Aww, they came up with all these designs but we saw so few of them!" then I have news for you! Watanabe said we should be keeping an eye out for more of these folks in the next part.

Favorite Scenes

Next, Liu asked both of the guests about their favorite scenes, and before they got into talking about them, we were shown a video not just of the final scene, but the storyboard, the rough cut version, and the version used for dubbing, all on one screen.

Takei answered first, and he chose the scene from episode 1 where Vash goes up against Chuck Lee, a.k.a. the military policeman from July.

(The audience kept laughing at Vash's wonderfully goofy face in the storyboard.)

When asked why he loved that scene, Takei noted that everything they wanted to accomplish in Trigun Stampede was encapsulated in it. In the manga and '98, Vash is more funny and tough (although "a good-looking guy"), and here in Stampede, he's rather more wimpy (although "still a good-looking guy"). This scene is a good blend of both sides of Vash.

It also showcases a "good action scene," which he clarified by noting there aren't many anime where so much drama and emotion is centered around one bullet. Takei also noted (though it's hard to convey to you all via still images) that Muto trusted his animators to improve on the storyboards. He's not as strict as some other directors and didn't want them to feel confined to stick to it too closely, but rather wanted them to enhance what was storyboarded out as they felt was appropriate.

Which leads to Watanabe's choice for favorite scene: the one where Vash is running through his shattered memories toward Rem and finally breaks free of Knives' prison and yeets Knives himself out. (Alas, Watanabe did not, in fact, use the word "yeet.")

Watanabe said he chose this scene because he loved the details that the team added to it after the storyboarding. The storyboard just had Vash running, but they added all these subtle movements and emotion that created a much stronger impact. When the completed scene was presented in Studio Orange, all who saw it were in awe.

Upcoming Trigun Stampede Merch

First up, as many of you already know, we have the Special Edition DVD/Blu-Ray set, which is currently available via preorder on Crunchyroll.

Second up is a new Vash figure! So new they haven't finished coloring it yet, BUT they did note this will be Black Vash (a.k.a. Grape Juice Vash) from Ep. 12. Takei is particularly excited about this because he always wanted to get the Black Vash figure from back in the day, but wasn't able to, and now he's gonna be able to get his own Stampede version. This figure is actually designed by the same person who designed the Vash figures for the manga back in the day. Interestingly, after they picked him but before they met to collaborate on designs, he came up with the current design for the figure. This worked out exceedingly well, since the design Orange wanted for the figure was basically the same thing.

Also, this Vash figure will soon have a Wolfwood companion figure. Because you can't have just one of them. The Wolfwood figure is still being designed, so alas, no images of it yet.

There's also been a restock of the orders for the clothes collaboration they had with SuperGroupies before, so a bunch of that stuff will be available again soon. They're also adding a new item to the lineup, and that's a black version of the Vash jacket. (I checked their website and it looks like they might also be adding a Livio EoM jacket. Hot.)

Preview Stuff for the Next Season

Ok, first and foremost, I'm gonna note there was NO TRAILER SHOWN, so let's crush those hopes now lest they linger and lead to disappointment. What they DID show was this:

First, a preview image of the characters for the upcoming season....

TBH, the only difference I really noticed is Knives' hair seems fluffier, but new art is always nice! Also, this one looks like a win for foot, ankle, and/or hand fetishists.

Second, we got a lovely video thanks from Nightow himself!

(He said he wanted to be there, but unfortunately there wasn't a strong enough headwind for him to run to the con. And for the curious, he's wearing a Guillermo del Toro shirt.)

Nightow being a fan of Stampede and overjoyed that so many people love his story isn't new. (Wonderful, but not new.) What IS new is he drew this nice little piece of art for us all.

He said this was his first time drawing Stampede Wolfwood. He had to get them to send him 3D images of the Punisher to be able to get it right, but he enjoyed making it! He said "it felt old and new at the same time." He can't believe next year will be the series' 30th anniversary. (Congrats, OG fans. Now we can all feel old together.)

The third thing they released was this.

Given the amount of trouble I've had posting this, I'm sure plenty of you already know that the next season/final chapter is going to be called Trigun Stargaze. Liu asked Takei about this title, and Takei said something like, "I don't know what this is about. Trigun Stargaze? What's that? This is news to me." He then (after noting he had just been joking) launched into what little he could tell us about the upcoming season.

He said he can't talk about the reason for the specific title, but that manga readers can probably make some good guesses.

Trigun Stargaze will take place 2 1/2 years after Stampede. They want to keep in mind the original concept behind Stampede, that being that because the previous Trigun stories have been so amazing, what they create needs to be amazing, too. He said they're proud of what they've made so far. It went beyond your imagination. He hopes Stargaze will go beyond your imagination, too.

Cosplayer Highlight

They decided to call all the cosplayers up to the space in front of the stage next. There were SO MANY COSPLAYERS!! Foolishly, I didn't take a panorama.

Costumes included '98 and Stampede versions of Vash, Wolfwood, and Meryl, as well as a handful of Millys (Millies?), not one but TWO groups doing Barbie & Ken-styled Vash and Wolfwood (the Barbie Vashes shouted, "Hi, Barbie!" at each other when everyone went to sit back down), an old-school Legato, a Zazie, and a group fully cross-playing the characters (with Meryl and Milly being male while Vash and Wolfwood were female; they did NOT change the costumes for any of the characters).

Liu handed out prizes to a few of them (they didn't have nearly enough prizes for all of them), and then they had all the cosplayers bunch up and face the stage and the guests turn around and took a picture of everyone. (If anyone has a link to the picture anywhere, let me know and I'll add it here. No, you can't see me in it; I'm much too far over to the side.)

Guests' Closing Thoughts

They were actually running early on the panel, so Liu opened it up to any additional comments either of the guests would like to make.

Takei still seemed overwhelmed by all the cosplayers (like I said, he spent the whole panel grinning from ear to ear at the audience), and he noted he had been worried about the Stampede characters being accepted by the fans. This was his first time seeing all the cosplayers, and he said that made him "feel safe."

Watanabe said he loved looking at the "multiverse" of Trigun. It had these previous iterations, and now it has Stampede, and the fans have both adopted it and adapted it, blending the different versions together and even adding their own things, and he really appreciates that. Takei added that while they created Trigun Stampede, if in 50 or 100 years, a new Trigun series is made, that would be great.

The animation for Stargaze is in process. Watanabe said he just recently saw some of it (a clip of only a few seconds that he, of course, couldn't show us) and it blew him away.

Both Watanabe and Takei are fans of the manga and the original series, and Takei said he's really wanted this series to happen, so he hopes we all look forward to it, too.

[yougotthatbilly]

if you’d let me (m)

→ member: lee donghyuck  → genre: friends to lovers!au | fluff | smut → playlist: eyes off you x prettymuch, attention x shinee, curiosity x nao →word count: 6.8k → warnings: pining, praise, teasing, oral (f receiving), unprotected sex (discussed), hand holding aka soft sex ↳summary: your curiosity reaches its peak when it comes to your best friend, who you happen to be in love with

Summer is right around the corner and the weather shows it, the sun high and bright in the sky with temperatures hitting the low eighties when just last week it was in the mid sixties. The light breeze feels good on your skin, ruffling the skirt of your dress, but it does nothing to bring you back into the moment. 

Cheek in hand, you’ve spaced out, gaze caught on the side profile of your best friend’s face. It’s only been a week, but the sun has already kissed his skin, his golden tone coming back from being washed out by the winter. Your eyes trace the slope of his nose to the plumpness of his pretty lips, which are moving quickly as he recalls a conversation he had with Jaemin that you guess is relevant to the one he and Chaeryeong are having. 

Brown eyes drift over to you, and when Donghyuck catches your gaze, he winks cheekily at you, the conversation going uninterrupted. He’s gotten used to being a focal point when you zone out, and there’s a fifty-fifty chance that if it weren’t for the fact he was so deep into what he’s talking about, he would’ve teased you about it. But Chaeryeong calls you out for him when they get to a stopping point. 

“Honey.” She snaps her fingers inches away from your face, laughing when you blink a few times and tune back into reality. “You good?” 

“Yeah,” you sigh, taking a long sip of your milk tea. “Just tired.”

“You wouldn’t be so tired if you didn’t binge that stupid show instead of getting some sleep,” Donghyuck mumbles. He flinches dramatically when you pretend to throw your phone at his head. “Just saying.”

“I had to know if the baby was his or not before going to sleep.”

“And now you have luggage under your eyes,” he responds flatly, the corner of his mouth quirking up at the look of offense he receives. Leaning over to pinch your cheek gently, he backpacks his statement, “Still the prettiest girl I know, though.”

Chaeryeong frowns. “You never compliment me like that.” 

“Pretty sure I’d get my ass beat if I even look at you too long.” Donghyuck laughs, leaning back into his metal chair, but not before swiping your drink from your hand. His own beverage is only halfway gone, but he always wants to try whatever you’re having because it’s typically very different from his order. “But you’re alright, I guess.”

“I mean, I would be possessive over me, too.” She exhales in amusement, ignoring the latter part of his words. Gesturing herself from head to toe, she says, “Do you see me?”

You hum, nodding. “I’d hit.”

She smirks, wiggling her brows before her eyes light up like she just remembered something.

“Speaking of,” she sing-songs. “Are you still talking to that one guy?”

“You’re gonna have to be more specific than that, babe.”

Rolling her eyes, she slouches into her seat, conjuring up the details for you to know who she’s talking about. “The one that sent you a selfie and said ‘your throne awaits you.’”

Donghyuck scoffs, unimpressed.

“I entertained him for like a day before I unmatched. I thought I told you that.”

“Nope,” she shakes her head before pouting. “He was cute.”

You snort. “He was a horny weirdo. I thought Hinge was supposed to be better than Tinder.”

“All dating apps are the same,” Donghyuck says disinterestedly, biting the tip of your straw with his front teeth as he looks down at whatever is on his phone screen. 

“Chaeryeong got lucky.”

As if her boyfriend sensed your words, Chaeryeong’s phone rings. The scrape of the metal chair against concrete is sharp and quick as she stands before she gathers her bag and boba. Holding a finger up to the two of you, she answers the call and scurries off in the direction of her car. 

You snatch your drink from Donghyuck mid-sip, blowing a kiss in response to his glare. Finishing your milk tea, you glance at your watch, seeing it’s half an hour away from the time you planned on going to the library to get some work done undisturbed. 

“Are you going to your seven o’clock tonight?” you ask.

“Yeah, I ran out of absences,” he grumbles. “Why?”

You shake your head. “I’ll just ask Jaemin to get me.”

“Or you can just wait until I get out?” he almost questions, tone as if his solution is the only logical one. “You going to the library?” 

“Yeah, but I doubt I’ll need to be there past nine.”

-

The scent of books collecting dust is comforting, as well as the silence around you, which are the main reasons you don’t mind the fact that you’ve been in the library longer than necessary, your laptop shut, untouched for the past half hour as you scroll on your phone aimlessly. You sigh, switching from Instagram to Twitter, adjusting your folded legs to take some of your weight off of them and lean more onto the arm on the one seater lounge chair. Nothing is entertaining on social media right now, so you go to Hinge to check your messages.

“Ready?” Your favorite voice asks in your ear, startling you. Your best friend grins down mischievously at you when you whip your head over your shoulder, his handsome face close enough for your nose to almost brush his own. You drop your phone in your lap to raise your hand, but he catches it before the impact comes to press a kiss to your knuckles, and your heart flutters in your chest. “Come on, the weather is dropping.”

Donghyuck walks around you to pack your bag up, getting the task done in the time it takes you to stand and slide into your shoes. Bag slipped over his shoulder, he gives the area a brief inspection before walking in the direction of the exit.

“Could’ve been in bed by now,” you sigh, falling in step with him. It’s known you could’ve easily called Jaemin like you initially said you would, but Donghyuck’s company is always welcomed, always appreciated, even when you have to wait after your responsibilities are taken care of just because of his night class. 

Donghyuck throws an arm around your shoulders and pulls you into his side, smiling a smile that shows he knows you’re just complaining for the sake of it. “You can be in my bed now.”

“Lucky me,” you deadpan, groaning in faux anguish at the way he squeezes you in retaliation. “You’ll make it up to me with some food and cuddles though, right?”

“I dunno if I like you enough for all that.”

With an unbelieving hum, you return his half embrace with an arm around his waist, listening as he tells you about the deer he saw walking across the street on his way to come get you. Five minutes later, you’re kicking your shoes off by his front door before you make yourself comfortable on his kitchen counter, sure to stay out of the way while Donghyuck whips something quick up for the pair of you.

“I matched with a cute guy earlier,” you tell him to fill in the silence, feet swinging gently. Long periods of quiet time are comfortable with him, but you’re feeling chatty and also don’t know how to go about said guy. A noncommittal hum is your response, his attention on chopping up some vegetables. “He’s kinda boring, though. Feels like I’m carrying the conversation on my back.”

“Then stop talking to him?” Donghyuck so helpfully supplies. 

“Haven’t replied since this afternoon.” You watch as your best friend slides the chopped veggies into the hot pan on the stove, the oil and produce making a hissing sound that fills in the gap of silence. “He seems like a cool guy, so I wanna give him a fair shot.”

“If that’s what you wanna do.”

You squint at the back of his head. 

“You’re judging,” you accuse. The disinterested tone, the lack of eye contact. His responses aren’t authentic at all. At your call out, he turns to you, brow lifted. 

“I’m not,” he responds unconvincingly before shrugging. “I told you it’s a waste of time and you just keep proving me right.”

He avoids your foot that aims for his thigh and catches it while it’s still mid-air, just barely tugging you forward in retaliation but with enough force to scare you. Your panic makes him laugh deeply as he steps into the space between your legs with a mocking pout that mirrors the one you’re sporting. Hands on either side of your body, flat against the granite countertop, Donghyuck puts his weight on his arms, leaning into your bubble even more. 

“Just try talking to him on the phone or FaceTime,” he suggests softly, back to his serious self, head tilted to the side. He knows you weren’t just bringing the situation up in passing. He’s one of the main people you go to when you can’t decide what next step to take on your own. “For all you know, the love of your life could just be a bad texter.”

Your fingers find their way up to absentmindedly play with the chain that dangles from his neck as you take a deep, but subtle inhale, breathing in his warm scent. Matching his soft tone, you say, “Him being the love of my life is a bit much, don’t you think?”

It’s really more of a pastime and entertainment thing being on a dating app. He knows this, but he doesn’t quite understand the extent of why, and the less he knows right now, the better. You’re okay with waiting a while longer before telling him. Even when small, intimate moments like these are so bittersweet. 

“You’re right.” He hums, nodding. Brown eyes bounce between both of yours before they quickly dip down to your mouth. “That spot’s reserved for me.” 

And with a parting wink, he pushes himself up and spins to tend to the dinner sizzling away, your hand dropping pathetically back down to your lap. 

You stare at Donghyuck’s back, watching his shoulder blades move as he cooks before you take a long blink, taking your mind out of the previous moment. You grab your phone and message Jeno, ignoring what he said last in favor of asking if he wants to talk on the phone and for his number. It allows you to distract yourself from the thoughts that try to arise. 

–

The verdict is that Jeno is not only a bad texter, but an incredibly bad conversationalist in general. You wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt (again), seeing that it was the first time being on a call, but the second attempt was just as bad. His responses to your questions were very straight forward, no detail when describing his job or major, or hobbies. No banter, no jokes, nothing. You assume he doesn’t have to put in much effort when it comes to pulling women because he’s attractive and most people like a laid back guy. 

As soon as you hang up, you go into the dating app and unmatch with Jeno. 

And of course, when you were just going to take the loss and sweep it under the rug, your best friend asks about it a couple days later.

“So how did the phone call with the love of your life go?” Initially, you pretend to not hear him, choosing to give all of your attention to placing herbs into the bowl that was just set in front of you. You then squeeze some sauce on top, humming a quiet tune under your breath. “That bad, huh?”

You glance up at him finally, Donghyuck sporting a knowing grin, and roll your eyes.

“Tell me about it,” he presses, slouching back in his seat, all of his attention being given to you. 

“He’s like a donut you thought was filled with cream or jam only to bite into nothing but dough.”

He snorts, biting the inside of his lips to keep the laughter in. You’ll never understand the joy he feels when meeting someone new is a failure for you. “You sure know how to pick ‘em, huh.”

“Don’t start,” you warn non-threateningly. But of course he doesn’t listen.

“You probably have the worst taste in men. No one is beating your ex, though.” He winces theatrically. “Yikes.”

You scoff, knowing he’s absolutely correct about your track record, but choose to deflect. “You would’ve found a way to disapprove even if he was perfect.” 

“I mean, if a guy can’t do more for you or treat you better than I do, I’m not going to approve,” Donghyck says like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “Just wasting your time.”

“You don’t even give me everything I need.”

Now he’s offended and you’re confused at why.

“What don’t I give you?” 

Extending a finger with each example you give him, you list, “Sensual love, romance, sex.”

Friendship and genuine love that you want from relationships, platonic or romantic, are covered for sure, but that’s it (okay, and maybe you two teeter on the line of sensual love, according to Chaeryeong). You don’t expect your best friend to give you those things, but you surely wouldn’t mind. That’s neither here nor there, though.

“I would if you’d let me.”

Head tilted, you squint, masking the fact your stomach dips. Sometimes he can be a little too convincing. 

“Can you be serious for once?”

“I’m deadass.” 

There’s a silent staring contest that takes place for at least a minute before he looks like he’s going to laugh, then the noise comes from his chest because you pout. 

“You’re an idiot.” you deadpan.

“Yet you considered it,” Donghyuck lilts, attention back on the pho steaming in front of him. He twists some noodles into his spoon, puts some meat and bean sprouts on top then slurps the food into his mouth. 

“I mean, if you eat pussy like that I might actually consider–”

His chews come to a slow stop. “You can find out if you’re curious.”

“My place or yours?” you ask in a lower octave, leaning forward. His gaze drops from your teeth teasingly biting your lower lip to the cleavage you purposefully put on display, just for him, before his face goes straight. He pushes you out of his face and continues to eat, trying not to join in on your laughter, if the quiver of his lips as he assembles the perfect bite says anything. 

“No but really,” you say once your giggles die out, finally getting to your own bowl. Curiosity killed the cat. You’d rather stop while you’re ahead. “I am coming over later. Got some comp sci work to finish then I’ll head over.”

“What if I had plans?”

“Then you’re going to reschedule them?” You laugh, not taking him seriously. “I shouldn’t be there until around nine, ten the latest. So do whatever you have planned before then.”

“Just let me know when you need me to get you.”

You shake your head, chewing and swallowing your mouthful. “I’m working with Jaemin. He’ll drop me off.”

He squints but chooses to say nothing in return, instead giving a nod of his head.

Your study session lasts a lot longer than you planned. One, because it’s been a while since you’ve seen Jaemin, so there was a good amount of time in between questions talking about things that have absolutely nothing to do with the material that will be on your exam in a couple of days. Two, because your mind keeps drifting to a conversation you had earlier in the day, specific words repeating in your mind. 

“What’s up with you?” Jaemin asks after catching you zoned out for the nth time tonight. The first couple of times, he simply poked you to get you out of your head and focus on the work ahead, now, he wants to know what’s actually going on up there. “What are you thinking so hard about?”

You shake your head, smiling gently. “Nothing. I’m good.”

His eyes narrow. “Who are you thinking about?”

There’s no way it’s that obvious. 

“No one,” you grumble, shifting in your seat with the intention to focus back on your screen. But then your phone vibrates against the wooden table, and the man of your thoughts is who just texted you. 

[11:01] hyuckie: are you still coming over

You hadn’t even realized the time until just now. 

There’s a moment of hesitation after you pick the phone up to reply to his message, your teeth worrying at your bottom lip as you ponder if you should still go over tonight with where your mind has been drifting for the last several hours. You don’t usually let them get this far, but the words I would if you’d let me have made you spiral essentially. Yes, the two of you are constantly going back and forth and since the very beginning there’s always been flirtation, but something about the way he said that statement, something about those very simple words, have you wondering. 

You feel Jaemin lean into your side to nosily look down at your phone. Not only is the man beside you book smart, he also has great common sense and puts things together pretty quickly. Something you love and despise depending on the moment. And after his next question, your feelings lean towards the latter. 

“Something finally happened between you two?”

There’s also confusion that follows.

“What do you mean?” you ask.

He gives you a look that makes you feel like you’re supposed to know what he’s talking about. And you suppose you do, but you’re not quite sure where he’s coming from. Jaemin rewords his question to, “Is he the reason you’re more spaced out than usual tonight?”

You could lie. You’ve kept how you feel to yourself, not confiding in anyone, especially not mutual friends, but it’s Jaemin. And the look on your face snitches on you, anyway.

“What exactly do you know?” You deflect.

Your response from him is a snort of disbelief before he realizes your question was genuine. “Oh, honey.” There’s a bit of fondness in his tone that makes you feel weird. “I know that you two are ridiculous but it’s entertaining to see you both be so blind to what’s so obvious. I promised to keep my mouth shut, though. I’ve said enough.”

You guess your silence wasn’t enough to hide how you’ve been feeling. You don’t know how to feel about that. A little embarrassed because now you’re just imagining an outsider’s perspective on seeing you be lovesick. But if he’s calling you and Donghyuck blind, your best friend hasn’t a clue. 

Wait. 

Another vibration, this time directly in your hand. 

[11:04] hyuckie: ???

“You promised him that?”

Another look that lets you know that you already know the answer to your question is sent your way. “Let’s get you over there and pick back up tomorrow, hm?”

“But—”

“I’m sure you’ll be able to concentrate better after you situate this with him.”

You squint, but still follow his lead as he packs his book bag, clearing the table.

-

Jaemin waits until you’ve unlocked Donghyuck’s front door and disappeared inside before he heads home, but not before telling you to go for it, vague as ever. He’s told you absolutely nothing, yet somehow really did tell you just enough.

The stove light is the only one on inside, and a quick glance around shows that your best friend has already retired to his room for the night. You make your way to his room, the blue light of his tv flickers from under his door with the volume low. With a deep breath, you open the door and step inside. 

Sat up against the headboard, Donghyuck glances at you from over his specs. He’s shirtless, just lounging in his plaid pajamas and your thoughts only continue to spiral. You rip your gaze away after it lingers for a silent moment.

“Something wrong with your phone?” Is the first thing he says and you shake your head as you set your purse and keys on his desk. “Then why didn’t you let me know you were gonna be late?”

You open the drawer in his dresser designated for you, ready to get out of your clothes and get comfortable. But at the last second, you decide against changing into your own clothes and instead go through the drawer above. You slip out of your dress and into one of Donghyuck’s bigger t-shirts, wanting (needing) the extra comfort, before moving to his desk to put your clothes with the rest of your stuff. 

“Lost track of time.” You shrug, turning to face him and catch his gaze that lingers on the outline of your breasts, sliding down to your bare legs before his eyes lift back to meet yours. “There’s been a lot on my mind today.”

“You okay?” 

He makes a move to scoot to his usual side of the mattress when you approach the bed, but pauses to look at you in confusion when you rest a gentle hand on his thigh to stop his movement. His face shows he doesn’t believe the affirmative hum you give in response to his question, especially since you’ve decided to crawl in between his legs and lay down on top of him with the side of your face resting atop his chest. You can’t say what’s on your mind while looking at him. The words won’t come out. 

His arms reflexively wrap around you, giving you that comfort you needed, making you remember he’s a safe space for you, no matter what. 

“Why is your heart beating so fast?” he asks. “You sure you’re okay?”

“Positive.” Here goes. “I’ve… I’ve just been thinking about something you said.”

The hum Donghyuck lets out to urge you to continue talking vibrates the side of your face in a soothing way. You reach behind you to grab one of his hands and slip your fingers in between his own, lightly pressing your palms together, looking at how perfectly they fit together. Without thought, Donghyuck squeezes your hand and brings it to his mouth, pressing a quick kiss on your knuckles that prevents your next words from coming out. You’re left to watch your joint hands fall beside you atop the mattress.

“Did I hurt your feelings?” He asks when you don’t keep talking. You’re not typically this affectionate unless something is bothering you or you’re drunk, so it’s no surprise that’s his initial thought. “Did I take something too far?”

This time he gets a head shake from you. “I’ve been thinking about what you said at the restaurant earlier…”

“Which part? About your ex? Should I not have brought him up?”

“About my curiosity.”

You may not know the extent of what he’s told your mutual friend, but you can guess that Donghyuck is physically attracted to you at the very least, and even if he doesn’t have romantic feelings, you’re almost positive now that there was truth behind his words from earlier. So, you’ll take what you can get.

It goes silent once again as he thinks about what you’re referring to. Once a few long moments pass, you glance up at him through your lashes, catching the unsure expression he sports. He doesn’t know how to process that, doesn’t know what your vague ass is getting at. 

Your anxiety has dragged this out too far. 

“I’m curious, Hyuck.” When it’s clear he still doesn’t fully believe your words, you sit up and leisurely shuffle your way up his legs until your knees cage his hips in and gently sit down on his lap. An inquiring brow lifts at your new position, yet his free hand slides up from your knee to the middle of your thigh like it belongs there. “You said you’ll give me what I need if I’d let you, right?”

“Right…” He trails off when you guide his hand under his shirt on you in between your legs, giving him an ample amount of time to snatch it away from you, but he doesn’t. His attention goes back and forth between your face and the hand you’re controlling until you cup his hand so he can feel how serious you are, the tips of his fingers lightly pressing against your covered entrance. Both of your breaths hitch, Donghyuck’s nostrils flare, his tongue peeking out to wet his lips, and his fingers tighten around your own. You guess he understands now. “So you want me to eat you out?” 

You nod. Just hearing him ask you so directly makes your hips involuntarily grind down. 

His tongue pokes at the inside of his cheek, putting more pressure behind his fingertips. The beginning of a smile threatens to lift the corner of his mouth at the heavy exhale you release. 

He laughs incredulously, sitting up with his grip now on both of your hips. When you’re lifted off of his lap, you internally panic for a millisecond, thinking you may have misinterpreted where this was going, but then you’re on your back and he’s in between your legs, kneeling before you. 

“And this isn’t a joke?” 

You shake your head.

He crawls back until he lies on his stomach, now at eye level with the wet spot that’s turned the seat of your panties dark. You whimper under your breath at the sight of his face peeking up from between your legs. It’s been a thought more times than you can count, but none of the short lived fantasies that you always forced out of the front of your mind come close to right now, especially the look on his face when he pulls the cotton to the side.

Your best friend groans to himself. “Knew you had a pretty pussy.”

“Please stop talking,” you say around a laugh of embarrassment, though the compliment makes you clench around nothing.

Even though Donghyuck chuckles under his breath, he doesn’t say another word like you expect him to. Instead, he presses open mouthed kisses along your inner thighs before he gives your clit a long, sweet one. His tongue laps long stripes up your slit, coating the wet muscle in your slick before the tip slowly flicks against your nub, up and down in a way that brings a whimper out your chest. He groans again, and then your panties are pulled down your legs quickly before his hands hook behind your knees and open you up for him even more, giving him the space to fully indulge himself. 

Donghyuck eats your pussy in a calculatedly messy way. With the audible moans that slip in between his loud slurps, you realize just how much he’s enjoying himself, that this for his pleasure just as much as it is for yours. Your head falls back and you moan pathetically at the realization and at how he sucks on your clit with the perfect amount of suction, unable to put energy into straining your neck anymore, so you rest against the pillows to continue watching him in awe. 

“Fuck,” you moan, threading your fingers into his hair, needing something to hold onto when a finger breaches your entrance and slowly slides in. One turns into two after a minute, slipping in easily thanks to your arousal and his saliva, his fingertips just barely kissing the sweet spot within you to have you feeling good but craving more. They pump into you at a lazy pace, your best friend’s focus leaning more towards sucking your clit into his mouth and flicking the tip of his tongue up and down the nub in a way that has you pulling his face even closer and canting your lower half up. 

Hips roll in fluid movements to ride his tongue and fingers, fingers gripping his honey colored locks tightly to not only keep him still, but to keep yourself grounded as well. You don’t want to come too soon, but your hips move on their own accord to chase the orgasm that you can already taste. 

But with one last harsh suckle on your clit, Donghyuck comes off of you, a loud smack echoing throughout his room. You let go of his hair begrudgingly, allowing him to come back up and lift your left leg up, hand still hooked under the bend of your knee as he rises up to face you again. He’s looking down at you with so much desire with the bottom half of his face glistening. The change in angle has his fingertips pushing against the spongy spot inside of you rhythmically and your jaw drops, dry pants escaping your mouth in a gradually increasing pace, face scrunched up.

“Right here?”

“Yes,” you repeat like a mantra. orgasm building up faster now, the pleasure and pressure heightening until your walls clamp down on his skilled fingers as he urges you to come for him, voice pitching before it’s just whispers and gasps of the same affirmation and his name. 

“That’s it,” Donghyuck praises, mindfully pressing the tips of his fingers against that spot a bit harder to help you ride out your climax. He wipes his mouth against the fabric covering his shoulder then kisses are pressed to your opened mouth, licks delivered to your lip that hangs low in pleasure. 

Hand gripping the wrist between your thighs, you halt his movements, but tilt your chin up to fully return his kisses, experimental pecks merging into sensual slides before your tongues are acquainted, the taste of you transferring to your mouth. You groan deeply, sucking on his tongue. 

Your free hand firmly grabs his bulge over his pants and you let out an impressed, needy moan at the discovery of how big and heavy he feels in your palm. He laughs, rolling his hips into your hand. 

“You want that, too?”

“Mhm.” Tongues circle around one another leisurely, allowing you to divide your focus on the wet kiss and tugging his pajama pants off, only getting them right under his ass before going back to his hard dick that bobs in anticipation. “Want you inside me.”

You brush your hand across his tip to gather precum then wrap your fingers around his thick cock, dragging your fist up and down. He lets you do this for a while, his breath getting heavier, the harsh breaths fanning against the wetness left on your neck in the wake of his opened-mouthed kisses. Legs wrap around his hips in an attempt to pull his lower body down flush against yours so you can guide him to your entrance and finally feel him inside of you, but your plans are put to a halt just when his tip rubs against your wet slit. 

“Wait a second.”

The complaint on the tip of your tongue is silenced by the peck Donghyuck gives your lips before he pushes himself up and off the bed. Your eyes drink up the sight of him pushing his bottoms all the way down and kicking them aside. 

“Condom?”

You shake your head. He’s sat through your complaints about the effects of the birth control you’re on and the two of you share practically everything with one another, down to test results. You just want him back on top of you and in you with no more barriers, and the message is conveyed by the grabby hands you do, rushing him to come back to you. Chuckling at your antics, Donghyuck complies, bed dipping under his weight. Sat back on his haunches, he spreads your legs back open then pulls you down the bed closer to him, caging his hips in with your legs.

“Grab it.” Eagerly, you reach down in between both of you, licking your dry lips once you feel his weight again. You get to go through with your plan from before he got up, bringing his tip to your fluttering, awaiting hole. Your arousal coats him as you slide the head of his dick up and down your slit, unintentionally teasing yourself and him in the midst of coating him enough for an easy slip in, and he gets a bit impatient, telling you, “go ahead, put it in.”

You do as told, biting your lip at the sensation of him breaching your entrance. 

It’s hard for either of you to look away from where your bodies connect as he gently pushes his hips forward. His thrusts start shallow, only dipping in as far as his tip goes before his hips retract then repeat a few times. 

“Such a pretty, tight pussy,” your best friend praises in a hiss, gradually sinking deeper. “Wanted to feel you for so long.”

Even if you could find the words to say in the midst of pleasure, you can’t really say much because you’ve wanted him like this and more for probably even longer. It doesn’t matter, though, because here you are, underneath him, being looked at like you hung the stars yourself as the expression gets mirrored right back to him. His hands find yours and bring them above your head, fingers interlocking as he presses your joint hands into the pillow, his body leaning down to hover over you in the process. Eyes flicker over your face to find nothing but bliss written over your features.

With a fluid roll of his hips, he’s completely sheathed. You gasp as he curses under his breath, his girth stretching you out so good while your walls suck him in even more. 

“Good?” he asks, already sounding out of breath.

You nod, swallowing thickly, “Mhm.”

“Yeah?” His pace gradually builds, his attention dropping down to how your teeth dig into your bottom lip then further to your breasts that bounce in sync with his thrusts. “Talk to me. Let me know how you feel.”

“Feels good, Hyuck.” you abide easily, the flutter of your eyes and the pinch of the front of your brows only emphasizing your words. “Didn’t know you were this–mm– this big.”

“Want your eyes on me,” he tells you gently, hips slowing down a bit so it’s not as difficult for you to listen and open your eyes for him. You’re sure you could get convinced to do anything he wants when he talks to you in such a tone that makes your heart flutter and stomach knot. ”There you go. Keep those pretty eyes on me, okay?”

Another wave of arousal courses through you, keening in response. Your grip on his hands tighten gradually as Donghyuck rolls his hips harder into yours.

There’s not a single thought behind your glazed over eyes. You’re honestly not even looking at him anymore, more so spaced out because it’s hard to focus on his handsome face with the amount of pleasure he’s making your body feel. The soundtrack of the smacks of skin against skin as well as the slick noises of his dick continuously dipping in and out of you are background noise to both of your bated breaths and moans that slip out shamelessly. His tip kisses just the right places and the longer his intentional aim is accurate, the tighter the coil in your stomach gets. The wetter your cunt gets.

“Baby.” He groans at the feeling of your walls beginning to flutter around him. “I don’t think I’m gonna last long,” he admits around a laugh, the sound getting cut off by his own moan when you clench even harder. He calls you babe in passing all the time but to be called his baby? 

“Me either,” you confess with a whine. “‘m close.”

Donghyuck buries his face into your neck, hardly concealing his louder sounds of pleasure. His hips pick up pace, his body hunching over your own the closer he gets to reaching his climax. You wiggle one hand out of his grip to reach down and grab his ass, attempting to pull him into you even more. 

“Want you to come in me,” you moan in his ear. His grip on your hand tightens at your words, his thrusts getting harder. “Fill me up. Please.”

“Need you to come with me,” he manages to grunt out, sneaking his now free hand in between your bodies. A few swipes to your clit does it and the tight, rapid clamping of your walls triggers his climax, Donghyuck completely sheathing himself inside of you as your legs shake from the all-encompassing pleasure. His warm cum releases in spurts as his deep groan vibrates your chest and neck. 

-

It takes a while for the pair of you to catch your breaths, yet it feels like he pulls away and out of you too soon. Your hole clenches around nothing as he climbs off the bed, Donghyuck momentarily looking around the floor to find his pajama pants that he quickly slips back on.

Without a word, he’s off to his bathroom and you hear the sound of running water start and stop before he’s back in the room with a rag in hand. The cloth is warm when it makes contact with your sensitive cunt, but it’s soft and comforting as it collects his cum, the pressure behind his swipes so gentle you can’t help but look at him like a lovesick fool. 

The kiss on your forehead you receive once he’s cleaned you to his liking doesn’t help one bit. 

“Come on, gonna start the shower for you.” He holds a hand out for you to take, steadying you on your feet before leading you to his ensuite bathroom. 

The image the mirror presents to you makes your skin heat up even more than it already was. Both of your lips are red and a little puffier than usual, both half naked with skewed clothing and messy hair, looking exactly what finally crossing the line of your friendship is expected to look like. Donghyuck notices the shy expression that slowly takes over your face. 

“Hush,” you say non-threateningly. 

He laughs again, lifting his free hand in defense. “Didn’t say anything.”

You watch as he twists the knobs in his shower to get the right temperature, as he grabs a couple of towels and wash clothes out of the linen closet and sets them down on the sink. And when his back is facing you when he’s headed out of the bathroom, your heart sinks pathetically. You aren’t ready for the moment to end yet.

“Join me?” you ask, stripping out of his shirt. His eyes lock onto your chest, head absentmindedly nodding as steps out of his pants and into the shower behind you. Even with the sensitivity and pulsing between your legs and the fact that you’re showering with him for the first time ever, everything feels surreal. He just devoured you. He just came in you. He just made you come multiple times. 

Your name being called softly takes you out of your head. 

“Is that all you needed?”

You hum in question, not sure what he’s referring to.

“Did you just want to satisfy your curiosity then go back to normal?”

You pause in squeezing body wash onto your wash cloth. Yes, you knew the conversation would be had, but now’s not the time you thought it would come. 

Talking about this in the morning after a good night’s sleep would’ve been preferred.

“Not exactly.” You reply lamely after trying and failing to find the right words. “Did you want to go back to normal?”

“No.” He replies a lot more straightforwardly. 

You let out a silent breath of relief. “No?”

Hands on your waist gently turn your body so that you’re facing Donghyuck. You guess he got tired of talking to the back of your head. The water is somehow a lot hotter on your back but it’s hard to pay attention to the heat when his next words come out. 

“I want you,” your best friend confesses and it’s music to your ears. “But we can do this casual sex thing if you want.”

“I don’t want that.” You slide your hands up his chest, the water helping the slip along the way, to loosely wrap your arms around his neck, pressing your soft chest into his firm torso, fulfilling the urge to be as close to him as possible after hearing your attraction and feelings are reciprocated. “I want you, too.”

“Good,” he hums, his arms encircling your waist to pull you flush against him. “I was gonna slowly wither away if I couldn’t make you mine after tonight.”

Lip caught between your teeth, you fight the goofy smile that wants to take up half of your face at his dramatics. God, you’ve imagined this moment so many times but the reality is so different, yet you wouldn’t have it any other way. “Make me yours, huh?”

He cranes his neck down, nose brushing against yours. 

“Will you be mine?” He mirrors the huge smile that wins the battle and lights your face up, nose scrunching. “Yeah?”

“I’m yours, Hyuck.”

first time writing for hyuck so i feel like i’m going to throw up posting this :D feel free to send feedback <3

[callsign-rogueone]

the last six years - b.s.

Brennan Sorrengail x reader Only one person has remained by Brennan’s side for the last six years, through the good and the bad. [requested] wc: 3.9k 🏷: SPOILERS FOR FOURTH WING AND IRON FLAME. fatal injury, blood, and multiple character deaths. basically every bad thing that has ever happened to Brennan will be in this series. I took some major creative liberties with this one and made a bunch of stuff up regarding Tyrrish culture, but we’re just gonna breeze right past that. more to come, because Brennan is just so husband material… mans had me giggling and kicking my feet every time he spoke.

“Tairn! We need Naolin!” You scream, praying that he is alive to hear you. “Bren, please, stay with me.”

His chest rises and falls slowly; he's still breathing. Breathing is good. “Y’need to get out of here.”

“No. I’m not leaving you. Eyes open, Bren, please,” you beg, pressing your hands deeper into the wound. “Tairn!”

“Thirty seconds out!” He yells back.

There’s not much you can do. To remove the arrow is a death sentence when you don’t have any medical supplies. It’s the only thing keeping the blood in his body, but even then it’s doing a shitty job; the warm crimson continues spilling out through your fingers, seemingly endless. 

“S’ gonna be okay, sweetheart,” Brennan soothes, feeling your panic.

“Bren, you need to stay awake. You can’t die. I can’t keep going without you.” Tears are pouring freely down your cheeks, dripping down onto the dark fabric of his flight jacket.

“You’re bleeding,” he mumbles, ignoring your pleas. He’s slipping away, fast, falling into the slow confusion that comes with a shortage of blood to the brain. “Let me mend you.”

“I’ll worry about myself later. Right now we need to keep you alive.” 

Heavy bootsteps enter the room. “Holy shit,” Naolin breathes, at your side in an instant. He digs in his bag, producing sutures and gauze.

If you act quickly, and if by some miracle the arrowhead hasn’t pierced Brennan’s heart, you can keep him stable long enough to find another mender. You break the shaft of the arrow, Brennan whimpering in pain as it shifts within his chest. 

“I know, my love, I’m so sorry,” you soothe, wiping your palms on your pant legs and moving to cradle his head in your lap as Naolin takes over. You keep whispering reassurances to him, terrified that if you stop, it’ll sever the last thread holding him in this world. “You’re doing so good, Bren. Almost done, I promise.”

Naolin gives you a look that tells you no, he’s not almost done. 

Brennan’s grip on your hand loosens, and you scramble to grab his wrist, bloodied fingers trying to find a pulse -- to no avail. “No,” you cry, tears pouring down your cheeks, “Bren, please wake up, please.”

The slow thump beneath your fingertips stops. Brennan’s heart is no longer beating.

You sob, a desperate sound that splits the air of the ballroom, and Naolin makes his decision, grasping Brennan’s hand and yours. “The two of you need each other.” 

“Nao, you can’t-” you gasp at the rush of energy that rips through you, the pain in your broken ribs diminishing instantly. You feel like you’ve been given a shot of pure adrenaline.

Naolin stops breathing just as Brennan starts again, collapsing to the marble floor, and your lips part in shock.

“He is gone,” Tairn confirms, fighting to keep his voice even. “May your gods honor his sacrifice and reward him in the next life.”

“I’m so sorry.”

His eyes are closed. That comforts you in some tiny way, that he looks whole, uninjured, like he could just be sleeping, but you know that isn’t the case.

Brennan’s breaths are even, pulse steady. The wound looks days old now, the fresh blood coating the skin the only evidence that he had nearly died today. He’ll pull through, as long as you can get out of here.

You say a prayer to Malek on your friend’s behalf, casting one last glance at his unmoving body, and gather Brennan into your arms -- he’s still breathing, but limp, exhausted. You can carry him out of here, but where will you go?

A man bearing a crossbolt steps into the ballroom.

You make no movement toward your weapon, still holding Brennan’s body to your chest. “We surrender,” you rasp, praying he will take pity on a pair of bloodsoaked young lovers and their fallen comrade. 

He steps closer, not responding. 

The words escape you before you can think. The old language feels foreign on your tongue, misshapen from years of disuse. “I am a daughter of the house Lindell, and a citizen of Tyrrendor. I have sworn an oath to-”

“I know who you are, Lady,” he says. “Come with me.”

He stops in front of an abandoned farmhouse, painted gold in the sunset. “Bathe, sleep. I’ll be back when I can.”

You remain by Brennan’s side. You stitch up his wounds, wash the dried blood from his skin, count his heartbeats as he continues to sleep. 

Night comes, bringing freezing wind through the cracked windows, and you climb into the bed beside him, pulling the few blankets you’d found over the pair of you. He curls into your side, seeking warmth — his skin is still cold, but not as icy as it had been when you limped him over here.

When you wake the next morning, the man has not yet returned.

“Ban?” You ask quietly. You haven’t heard from the dragon since you’d dismounted over a day ago, but she must still live, as you do.

“Nearby, with Marbh,” she reassures. “Tairn has returned to Basgiath to be with his mate. It will take years for him to recover from this loss, but he will live on.”

You continue to stroke Brennan’s hair, taking solace in the steadiness of his breathing.

“Your devotion to the mender is the strongest I have seen from any human,” she says quietly. 

“He has become the air I breathe. It was unbearable when he…” you don’t even want to think the words. “I don’t know what I would have done, had Naolin not intervened.”

Brennan stirs, stretching in the cute way you’ve seen him do so many times after waking up, scrunching his face at the bright morning light streaming into the room. He takes you in, thanking the gods that the only injury you bear is a yellowing bruise on your cheek. A gentle hand cradles your face, and it vanishes.

“Naolin?” He asks quietly, and something tells you he already knows deep down.

You shake your head, your eyes brimming with tears. “He gave his life to save you.” 

He looses a shuddering breath, and you gather him into your arms, crying together.

You attempt to mentally prepare yourself to enter the assembly room, adjusting your posture -- shoulders back, chin up, eyes forward. 

“Not a word,” you warn Brennan quietly. “Keep your shields up, like I taught you.”

“I didn’t know we were taking prisoners,” a lanky teenage boy calls, eyeing you from his perch on the edge of a table. In the years you’ve been away, he’s grown into his father’s dark features, and the lazy confidence that can only come with a noble title. “I was wondering when you’d be back from playing soldier. Have they brought you here to negotiate?”

“Lovely to see you again too, Xaden,” you say dryly, addressing the boy by name, and Brennan’s gaze whips toward you in shock. “No, I am not here to negotiate. We are here to surrender, and if you will have us, we will take your side in this fight to free Tyrrendor from those who have oppressed her for centuries.”

“They would be an asset to us, should this prove to not be a setup,” one of the elders says, keeping his hand on the hilt of his longsword.

“She has proved her allegiance to Tyrrendor time and time again,” Xaden defends coldly, dismissing the man who looks old enough to be his grandfather. “It is the general's son that I’m more concerned with.”

You look him directly in the eye as you speak, raising your chin. “Sorrengail is a strong rider and skilled mender, but above all, he is a good man. I could not have chosen anyone better to share the crown with when the day comes.”

Brennan looks at you like he has no idea who you are, trying to discern if this is a dream.

Xaden finds this amusing. “She really didn’t tell you? Always so secretive, that one. Your girlfriend is heir apparent to the Duchy of Lindell, as I am to Aretia, where you stand.”

He looks to the elders, who all nod in affirmation, deeming your appraisal of Brennan satisfactory. “It’s good to have you back, Lady. Things were getting boring without you.”

You lower your head to him in thanks, Brennan quickly copying you.

You tug Brennan into the hall after you’re dismissed.

“Did you really mean that?” He asks, head still spinning.

“Every word,” you reply. “From the moment you extended that hand to me in our first year at Basgiath, I knew you were good to your core, Brennan Sorrengail. It would be an honor to share my duty with you.” 

“Your mate needs you,” Marbh says, making a rare appearance.

Your heart drops. You sprint down the valley trail back to the house, attempting to ascertain what had happened, but you aren’t given a response. Marbh has always been vague.

You find Brennan tucked into a corner of your shared room, back pressed to the wall. He’s clutching a piece of parchment that you recognize to be a Basgiath death roll. He extends it to you wordlessly, and your eyes race down the list, searching for Mira, his mother, another of your friends…

The final name on the list, below the rider’s quadrant cadets, almost as an afterthought… Major William Sorrengail. His father.

“Oh, Bren,” you breathe, gathering him into your arms, “I’m so sorry.”

His entire body shakes with a sob, and it takes everything in you to not cry as well, but you remain strong, needing to be there for him. “I knew I’d never see him again,” he says in a cracked whisper, “but now…” But now it’s real.

You’d never met the man, and now you never will, but you know what a profound impact Brennan’s father had on his life, imparting so many of the qualities that you admire about Brennan; his dedication to his studies, his respect for the scribes that so many others dismiss or overlook, his unwavering compassion…

You offer a silent prayer to Malek on his behalf, asking that He show the scribe the same kindness that he had shown others in life.

“I don’t know why, or how,” Brennan rasps, “I don’t know who was there with him in the end, if Mira and Violet got to say goodbye, if my mother…” he can’t finish the sentence, words cut with shaking breaths. He loses the strength to hold himself up, collapsing into your embrace. “I should be there,” he sniffles, “I should have been there.”

“I know how much you love him. He knew too, I’m sure he did. They all do.” You hold him tighter, stroking his hair. “The girls are strong. They will mourn, but they will get through it together.”

He’s run out of tears, leaving him with a headache and a hollow feeling in his chest. He eventually relaxes, not saying a word as you smooth down the soft waves of his hair, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. He’s fallen asleep. You just hope his dreams will be kind to him.

“Enough,” you command, and all heads turn toward you. “I will not have you disrespect Riorson nor his partner in his own home. Have you forgotten what he has done for our young?”

Ulices stiffens. “My apologies, Lady.” He says the title with an ounce of venom, but yields, returning to his seat.

Violet continues to study you. You’re dressed simply, head to toe rider’s black mixed with traditional Tyrrish leather armor and intricate braids that she has only seen drawn in history books, but it’s obvious in your posture that you’re nobility - you do not dip your head below the horizon even for a moment, and you speak with the confidence that others will listen.

“We have better things to do than argue about what should have happened. There is no turning back time,” you say calmly. “I agree that we have been given a legion of students rather than trained warriors, but it has become our job to train them.”

Brennan speaks next. He’s been silent since the meeting started. “What professors have joined us should resume modified versions of their courses, and we will fill in the gaps. Match up those with similar signets for mentorship. Emeterrio can continue to lead combat training, and Devera Battle Brief. Kaori has not joined us, but I think there is an obvious replacement.”

You’re saddened by the news, but you smile softly at his praise. 

Violet realizes that the scribbled amendments in the dragons section of Brennan’s book weren’t Mira’s, but yours. You’ve been close for years, then. You must have brought him here with you when you deserted. Part of her wonders if you’d attended Basgiath because you wanted to, or as a spy.

“Do not question the royal one’s integrity,” Tairn warns her, but does not elaborate further.

“The riot has decided that everyone here can be trusted,” you state. “And if anyone turns out not to be, we will do what we have to do, without hesitation, for the good of the movement.”

There’s sounds of agreement from the other six, and then the meeting is over.

“Hey,” he says softly, leaning against the doorframe, clutching a bloodied rag to his face.

“What the hell happened to you?”

“Mira’s fist happened,” he explains, lifting it, and you wince at the sight of his nose, the bridge split and bruising. “I’ll be fine in a day or two.”

Your heart twists. Brennan hasn’t been able to see his sisters for nearly a decade, spending the last six years in hiding and the two before that stationed across the continent with hardly enough leave to travel back and forth to Basgiath. For Mira to have punched him straight in the face instead of the tearful hug he’d dreamed of… it must have crushed him.

You press a gentle kiss to his cheek, careful not to bump his nose. “I’ll talk to her,” you say softly. “Go see the healers.”

You’ve only met the middle Sorrengail in passing, nearly ten years ago now, but she’s exactly as Brennan had described her; a younger version of their mother, and just as strong-willed. Evidently, she remembers you, scowling and crossing her arms at the sight of you, but still standing at attention — there’s no missing the Major’s insignia on your chest. Violet stands as well, but doesn’t look as sour as her sister. 

You wave a hand. “At ease. I am not here to issue orders, rather to talk about your brother.”

Mira prickles, Violet looking concerned.

You choose your words carefully. “I do not expect either of you to forgive him overnight, nor for you to forgive me for my complacency in this matter. All I ask is that you show him some compassion. It has been hard for him too, being apart from his family. When your father-”

“That is not a sentence you should finish,” Mira interrupts.

“Mira,” Violet scolds softly, “be nice.”

“No,” she snaps, “I don’t think you understand. We mourned him. We called him a hero, thought he died honorably in battle when he really just deserted and changed his name.”

“He did die,” you say, and the eyes of both women flit back toward you. You look over your shoulder. “He bled out on the floor of that ballroom, and his heart stopped. Our friend siphoned away his life to save him.”

“Tairn’s previous rider,” Violet says in a whisper, as if the dragon will not hear her that way.

“Yes. Naolin.” You say his name with a heavy voice. No wonder Tairn won’t speak to her of the one who came before. That explains the gruff dragon’s defense of you, too.

Mira is silent, likely feeling guilt over her outburst as she realizes her brother still lives in the house he’d been killed in, with the son of the man who had ended his life.

“The elders gave him the name Aisereigh — meaning resurrected — as a layer of protection from those who hold vendettas against your mother. It hurt him to take it, and to not be able to give me the Sorrengail name, but it was necessary for his survival.”

Violet’s eyes land on the band circling your ring finger, a smooth strip of silver carved with Tyrrish runes. Brennan had worn a matching one when she’d seen him the day after War Games, but she hadn’t thought anything of it until now. “You’re married.”

You nod. “Three years ago, right on that bluff at the top of the valley, on a gorgeous summer day. Both of us wish those he loves most could have been there.” 

“Thank you,” Violet says quietly, “for staying with him through it all.”

“I have been by his side since our first year at Basgiath, and I will remain there as long as we shall live, as I have vowed to,” you reply with the same blunt conviction that she’s used to from Xaden — that must be a Tyrrish thing. “Now please excuse me. I have a class to teach in a few minutes.”

Mira lowers her head to you in a gesture of respect. “I’m sorry,” she says, but she does not say what for.

You give her a soft smile in return, heading back into the house.

“Major Aisereigh will be taking over your dragonkind course, as Professor Kaori did not elect to join us here,” Professor Devera announces.

It’s strange to be standing on the dais as an equal with the woman who’d had a hand in kidnapping you from Brennan’s bed to torture you eight years ago, but nearly everything about your life since that night has been strange.

“I don’t know precisely what Kaori did and did not cover thus far in the term, but given that every person in this room has managed to bond a dragon, you are clearly proficient, and I will treat you as such,” you begin. “Dragons are independent, often to a fault, but do not forget that your health depends on theirs. As riders, you must learn how to care for them properly. That’s what we will be focusing on for the remainder of the term, along with flight mechanics and keeping your seat under stress.”

You glance at Brennan, who is sitting incognito in the back row, broken nose now mended, and he nods, an easy smile on his face. You’re doing great.

The lesson passes easily, your students much more engaged than you remember your peers having been in Professor Kaori’s class. 

“I will be needing volunteers to help with the maintenance of the riot while they’re grounded.”

At least thirty hands shoot straight up — half the class.

The trek up the valley wall is never easy, but you make winded conversation with several of the volunteers, mainly nervous first-years who confide that they need the extra practice.

You stop at the top of the trail, cupping a hand to your mouth and calling out a few short notes, and Banrion is at your side in seconds, shaking the ground with her landing. At least a dozen others land nearby, sitting upright in waiting. 

“You’ve brought children,” she appraises, eyeing them with distaste.

“Cadets,” you correct, “that you will be helping me teach. So be nice.”

She chuffs softly. “Fine.”

“I have chosen some more agreeable members of the riot to aid me today, to ease you into their care, but let me make this clear,” you say to the class, who have retreated to give you and Ban a healthy distance. “the majority still find it deeply offensive to be addressed by a human that is not their rider. Unless your bonded has joined us today, please refrain from speaking to any directly.”

You wait for nods of affirmation. “Banrion and I will demonstrate pre-flight checks once, and then you will split into groups of two or three to do the same with the remainder here.”

Once you get everyone settled, you find Brennan — he’d tagged along quietly, not wanting to part ways after the morning’s chaos.

“Well done, Professor,” he says, smiling. “You just might make this a day job.”

You laugh. “Is this everything twenty-year-old Bren thought it would be?”

“It is,” he says quietly. “And more.”

You gaze out at the field of cadets. “Marked and unmarked, living in harmony.”

Brennan squeezes your hand in acknowledgment, remembering how scared you had been when the first marked ones left for Basgiath, and each year since. It had hurt you deeply when not all of them returned. 

Tairn stalks up to you, dipping his head in greeting. “Good to see you again, royal one.”

You smile. “Glad you’re still around, big guy. You have made an excellent choice in Violet. How is the golden one?”

“Still dreamless,” he answers, not deigning to reply to your compliment. 

You worry your lip between your teeth, concerned. 

He casts a glance around at the young cadets in the vale, who are taking their tasks very seriously. “You remain as revered a leader as you were at Basgiath.”

You’re actually touched, but you won’t dare mention that to Tairn.

“It is not an easy feat to raise young,” a green scorpiontail says in agreement, looking down fondly at the first-years that are inspecting her claws for cracks, “but the two of you are doing a fine job.”

You smile. “And how are your young?”

“Safe,” she answers. “You may come see them after dark.”

“It would be an honor.”

“Professor?” A cadet calls from across the field, sounding mildly concerned.

You pull apart from Brennan reluctantly. “Duty calls. I’ll see you tonight.”

“Kiss for your thoughts?” you ask playfully, seeing the weary look on his face. It’s been a long day for him, with multiple arguments among the assembly and all the emotions of reuniting with Mira.

“I have both of my sisters back,” he breathes, still in disbelief. “I thought I’d never see them again.”

You lay a hand on his back, resting your head on his shoulder. “I spoke with them before class. Mira was particularly upset, but she softened when I told her what really happened.”

He’s quiet. “She has every right to hate me for what I did. She should despise me for the rest of my life.”

“But she doesn’t,” you remind him gently. “She holds anger, but she doesn’t hate you. You’re her brother, and she knows you love her. You wrote her an entire textbook on how to survive the rider’s quadrant. If that isn’t testament enough, I don't know what is.”

He shakes his head, smiling softly. “How do you always know the right thing to say?”

You grin, moving to climb into his lap. “Because I know you, and I know exactly what goes on in that beautiful brain of yours.”

“Yeah?” he asks, nose brushing against yours, a ringed hand settling on your waist. “What am I thinking about right now?”

“Hmm. Probably about how long of a day it’s been, and how you’d like to unwind after all of it?”

“You’re absolutely right,” he says. “I’ll take that kiss now.”

You lean forward, connecting your lips to his, and the rest of the world falls silent, melting away until all that’s left is you, your husband, and the love you share, love that has endured death itself.

[rhiezus]

[UNDRESS] The sender begins to unbutton the receiver's shirt, taking their time with each button. // jinhyung x kyungri NAO AGUENTEI EH O GIF QUE TA NO SEU TUMBLR

there could be little to a non-existential excuse to treating his wife so casually on a day to day basis. it's not that jinhyung doesn't think he is a good husband or that he doesn't make an effort to be the best he can — because he absolutely does. but things change drastically in your life when you have kids and you find yourself busy going through life trying to raise a family focused on building a nurturing environment for them. it takes a toll on you too because through many expense that becomes part of your goal, one you never had before but that now you don't know yourself without. suddenly everything becomes about what you can do for them and how you're gonna do that, that's your dream and that's your life. it may sound imprisoning for some people but for parents like jinhyung and kyungri it's so much more than that, it's care and it's love and it's an every day struggle that is so much more than worth it just to see their innocent smile or little feet happily wobbling around directly into their safe arms.

so yeah, in the process you end up forgetting a little bit of your marital life. or even about your own life as an individual, an individual that has needs just as any other. sometimes you gotta stop everything you are doing to realize who you were before this and how is that person still doing inside. to jinhyung doing that is to look beside him, kyungri has all the answers he needs in her eyes, he can tell just by the way they go through day to day together. when they sit down on a sunday night after putting up the kids to sleep, both tired as hell from a day of going out or just keeping about, trying to put together a schedule that works for the next two weeks. who is going to do what, who has work, who can stay at home, nannys and kids schools... when she gets that crease between her eyebrows, she is thinking intently on something, focused. when he pouts like a baby because he doesn't wanna do this anymore, he just wants to sleep, but she always manages to remember who important it is for them to decided what day he can take off so he can pick her up from the studio and they can make some love in the car on the way home — or even better when they can escape for ice cream, eating alone on the car and talking about their day. that's team work, one their build with so much effort. and even so it's not always that everything works out according to plan, they can't account for ryze getting sick on a random tuesday or for aria losing her favorite toy on a friday night keeping everyone up looking for it until one am. still, jinhyung says that's the magic. they make it work, every single time, like they are some kind of wizards.

every day or so they can relax, today is a sunday where they don't have to think about any of plans for the week because both of them talked over last week. they worked their asses off for seven days straight just to get a free little time. today there was no planning ahead. jinhyung had his day off because it's sunday and he has a no work sunday police, but kyungri had flew in a bussiness trip last night and she arrived today just a little after seven. they put the kids to sleep together, thankfully everyone had their desired toys and stuffed animals on their rightful places this time and since they doze off quickly, they enjoyed the silence before nine o'clock. a wine bottle was opened in the upmost quiet ecstasy they could muster, they sat on the couch and drank the whole bottle before they even realized. and frankly neither of them was tired and their eyes found each other naturally through the conversation — this and that, "how was your trip?", "...some nice people there", "ny's cough is getting worse", "i don't know if i like how my voice sounded", "maybe we could eat there for dinner tomorrow".... — there was a moment jinhyung looked intently at kyungri's lips, how they moved while she was talking and how did her lipgloss was still standing after getting off the plane, kissing their kids goodbye and drinking wine. the damn glass of wine got to take if off and he didn't yet, he got mad about that for a second before he could notice what her hand was going up and down his tight making him look to her eyes again. "sorry, love." his voice was whispered deep between them, one because they had children sleeping upstairs and second because he wanted her to be the only one to listen to his pleading.

and with kyungri you don't have to say twice for the message to be delivered, in a glance or even an expression; a single exchange of any of those and they comprehended each other. years of being together, marriage and children just makes each other's reflections as natural as breathing. jinhyung leaned forward after seeing the grin that grew on those lips, kissing it off in a single move, a quick one that was stopped only by her hands reaching the collar of his shirt, the fingers working really slow on the buttons. "c'mon you can do better than that." he teased when his face was still hot on hers, inches to taste that lipgloss again. they were not going anywhere other than that moment, on that couch, wine in their veins, everything just a little too intoxicating to be rushed. there was no need not to savor how her scent was the same from the day he first met her, many moons ago. or not to notice that now that they were so close, jinhyung could see a little bit of her red lingerie sticking out of her white shirt. all this going through the man's head while she was still fiddling with his buttons, smiling at him. when she was about the last two, he smiled back at her and tossed her hands aside in an abrasive movement, slipping himself off his shirt with ease. "there, better." he whispered forgetting the shirt was ever even capable of anything, he was too damn hot for wearing it anyways. then chasing for her lips again with his own, gently and passionately. he was going to be a very good husband now, one that didn't let his wife plead for anything other than him.

[bl00dst41ned]

*.·:·.✦ another lifetime ✦.·:·.*

pairing: jude bellingham x black female oc (named her Nevaeh)

summary: in which when a life ends, another one begins

author's note: ummm…….i’m sorry guys. inspired by nao's 'another lifetime' song

warnings: mention of car accident and death

word count: 1856

“It’s gonna be a bit cold”

The translucid gel dripped on Nevaeh’s belly as she laid down on the hospital bed. The obstetrician spread the gel around the round stomach using her little sound instrument. She clicked a button, turning on the screen.

Nevaeh watched it move around until appeared the perfectly-formed baby silhouette. Her eyes gazed at the black and white image in awe.

“There she is”

“Looks like she’s sucking her thumb” Nevaeh pointed before looking at her left.

At her left sat Jude, whose leg couldn’t stop shaking out of excitement. His eyes glistened as he watched his baby girl.

His longtime girlfriend Nevaeh and him were expecting a little girl. Today was their last ultrasound before their baby’s arrival, due in two weeks. And the same as the others, they were in wonder in front of their little creation.

“She’s getting in the right position to get out” The doctor pointed on the screen. “But the due date stays the same”

She told them a few more information on the baby’s vitals and on the upcoming birth before the visit ended. The couple checked out of the clinic before leaving out of the building. Jude's hand automatically reached for Nevaeh's, tangling them together as he rubbed his thumb on her hand.

They walked to Jude’s car swaying their hands together. Once they both got in, Jude booked a Uber for Nevaeh since she had to go home and him, to training. As they waited for her driver to arrive, they sat in a comfortable silence. 

Jude occasionally left soft kisses on his girlfriend’s cheek.

Nevaeh was the apple of Jude’s eye. She could always catch him lost staring. He admired her brown skin glowing in the sun that he loved so much. Her braids that she insisted on getting to be comfortable to give birth. Her naturally curved eyelashes moving as Nevaeh closed her eyes.

“You can’t sleep now, baby” Jude smiled seeing her tired expression. He knew how much Nevaeh hated to be woken up out of a nap, so he didn’t want to take the risk to make her mad, even more now that she was nine months pregnant.

“This driver need to come, I wanna sleep”

Deciding to stay awake, Nevaeh took her phone out, opening the Instagram app only to be met with her baby-filled feed. Her eyes shined from the overload cuteness, tears filling her eyes.

“Why are you crying, babe?” Jude asked, trying hard not to laugh. “It’s the babies again?”

“I just can’t wait, Nugs” Nevaeh called him by the affectionate nickname she gave him years prior. “Like, we’re going to be parents, and it feels like a dream come true” She ranted, full-blown crying. “Because I could not imagine another person to start a family with than with the person I love the most, and that’s you”

Her words had left Jude speechless. Nevaeh was shy when it comes to vocalise her feelings. She would write him letters to express her love, but the hormones had made her talk more and let her emotions out to him.

“I love you too” He responded with a grin. “And I can’t wait for her to arrive too. You’re my forever best friend and will be the greatest mom of all moms”

They exchanged a kiss and Jude went down to kiss her stomach, the baby kicking instantly. They observed her belly move as their daughter’s feet moved.

“Time for you to go” Jude realised the Uber had just came. He walked out the car going to open Nevaeh’s and help her out the vehicle. He accompanied her to the car, settling her in and not forgetting to drop a peck on her forehead.

“Bye Nugs I love you”

“I love you, babe”

………

Nevaeh's hand rested on her pregnant belly, feeling her daughter's light kicks against her palm. Her eyelids were now heavier and she started to doze off. Before she could, she heard the driver shout.

Nevaeh didn't get to look at what happened that her head was projected to the top of the car. Nevaeh crouched as much as she could, protecting her child as the car flipped over and over again. 

The scene looked straight out of a horror movie. The sound of windows shattering, the screams, the metal dropping on the concrete. 

Bypassers ran to the crashed Honda, ambulance already called over. A deadly atmosphere filled the space around. The violence of the accident left no hope to them for anybody to be alive as they still looked inside.

“There’s a pregnant woman!” One of them shouted seeing Nevaeh’s hands around her belly.

She opened her eyes once it stopped, only for them to be blinded by the smoke in the car. She could only mumble weakly "Nugs" before falling unconscious.

...........

"Jude"

At the call of his name, the man started running towards to get the ball from his teammates and shoot it in the goal. He went back to his place with his head down, breathing hard. As he looked up, he saw the club’s secretary, Louise, call him over.

He furrowed his eyes the closer he got to Louise, catching her worried face expression.

“What’s wrong?”

She stumbled on her words, struggling to form a sentence. She finally took a deep breath before breaking the news clearly.

“You need to get to the hospital quick, Nevaeh had got into a bad car accident-”

Louise could not even finish her sentence that he had took off running to his phone and car keys and rush to his pregnant girlfriend.

Each minute spent in the car felt like an hour. His sweaty hands gripped the steering wheel harder every time he had to stop at a red light. He silently prayed for his girlfriend and daughter to be alright and kept all negatives thoughts out of his mind.

At the hospital, he pratically ran to the front desk.

“Hello, I’m looking for my girlfriend” He managed to say in a calm voice. “She had gotten in a car accident earlier”

The nurse looked on her computer before answering to him.

“Third floor, the elevator’s on the far right” She pointed the direction.

Jude thanked her quickly before rushing to the third floor. He cut road of the first doctor that came his way.

“Excuse me, do you know where’s my girlfriend, she got in a car accident”

“Oh yeah, I’ll check, just wait there”

Jude did as told going to the waiting room. He tried to sit still but got up the next minute pacing back and forth in the room and sitting again. He repeated the cycle until a nurse came into the room, catching his attention.

“Are you here for a certain Nevaeh ?”

“Yes, can I see her ?” He immediately asked, frustrated to see her shake her head.

“Not yet. But there’s somebody else who wants to see you”

Jude was confused for a bit, not knowing who he had to see other than his partner. But one look at the nurse’s face made it clear in his mind. She was here.

He followed behind the nurse to a room, with another nurse inside. He approached them to see a newborn girl move around. His newborn girl.

“Look who’s there to see you” One of the nurse cooed. “You’d like to hold her”

“Obviously”

His face now held the biggest smile, showing his white teeth.

“Okay, take off your shirt and sit there”

Jude did as told as she set his daughter on his chest. The little baby gesticulated slowly before settling.

Jude stayed stiff, intimidated by this tiny little human, which the nurse had caught on.

“Relax” She said with a chuckle, earning one from Jude too. “We’re here if anything happens”

They reassured him the first few minutes before setting back, seeing that he felt more comfortable.

Finally alone with his child, Jude took a look to take in her features. Her fair skin from just being born. Her little head, her little hands, her little legs. She looked so tiny in his hands, fragile as porcelain. He watched her eyes opening and closing. Her dark brown eyes, just like her mom’s.

He snapped a quick picture as the nurses came to him.

“Seems like dad is handling it well”

Jude smiled while keeping his eyes on his little one.

“She has a lot of hair too” He rubbed the short black hair. “Nevaeh’s gonna be so happy to not have had heart burns for nothing”

The nurses face expression changed instantly. Their wide smiles were now replaced with concerning looks. It was silent for a few seconds before the one that took him to see his baby spoke.

“Unfortunately, Nevaeh didn’t survive the accident, I’m sorry”

Her voice resonated as if the room was entirely empty.

After the birth of their daughter, he didn’t even think of Nevaeh not being alright too.

“How c- what happened?”

“She…died shortly after the baby was born. I guess she used her last forces into giving birth”

Jude stared into space and his hand mechanically caressed his baby’s skin. A baby he never imagined raising without Nevaeh. Within hours, he had gone through the best and worst moments of his life, his mind split from happiness and sadness.

Jude walked out of the room minutes later, his head hanging low and feet dragging. He joined his family that he had called earlier. They quickly got up at his sight and Denise first started talking.

“How are they?”

“Little girl is here and healthy”

“And Nevaeh?”

His silence spoke louder than words could ever done. Since the news was broken to him, Jude had kept himself from crying, scared that his daughter could feel his sadness. But as soon as his mother wrapped her arms around him, all the tears bottled inside escaped his eyes. 

He cried, his head snuggled in Denise’s chest, feeling like a child again. A child who just fell and needed a hug. His heart got hurt and needed comfort. Denise’s hand gently rubbed the back of his neck while reassuring him. Just like Nevaeh does. 

Like she used to do.

judebellingham

9,557,513 likes

judebellingham I've never imagined having to write this. Nothing could have prepared me for it. Losing my best friend but also welcoming another one. And for that Nevaeh I thank you. For gathering the little rest of strength into bringing our love into this world, that you cherished so much. Best believe she'll be reminded of that every day. She looks just like you aswell. I wish you could see her. Sometimes it's hard to not have you by my side, but there's always someone to help me. So I should be alright. I hope you are granted Heaven. Because that is what you are. You were my Heaven on Earth. Heaven is your name. And that's where we'll meet again. I’ll see you in another lifetime. Until then, I’ll take good care of little Shaili, I promise. I love you both with all my heart 🐻‍❄️🤍 - Nugs

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i'm so sorry y'all but the song inspired me too much

masterlist for more

[bengiyo]

Our Skyy 2 x Bad Buddy X A Tale of Thousand Stars Ep 4 (Finale) Stray Thoughts

Yesterday, we transitioned into the A Tale of Thousand Stars portion of this crossover, and the mood shifted to match. There’s been a lot of consternation about the episode, and whether it represents a weak outing from Aof and friends. I have decided that it doesn’t matter for me, because it mostly worked for me. I understood the intention of having these characters get lost in the woods repeatedly no matter who they were with. I’ll have more to say this weekend, I’m sure.

Not these two coming for my man Phupha’s back during their roleplay!

I’m glad Pat and Pran got to have a cute montage before they left.

We will finally be free of the Our Skyy 2 theme.

I like that Pran made a friend out of Tian on this trip. Pran has so few friends, and I’m glad he was able to make one on his own.

Pat, please never stop terrorizing Phupha.

Unsurprised that Tian broke first on the apology, but glad to see Phupha getting flirty.

You just knew he was going to sign. I’m not even worried about the conditions. He wouldn’t be himself if he didn’t force you to meet him where he is.

I really hope tourists don’t tarnish this waterfall.

It’s not time for Only Friends yet, so we can’t have someone fondling tiddies yet on GMMTV. Mark, Neo, and Book, you are to be our champions.

Ah, Oishii tea is here. We can relax now.

Okay, I’m having fun with flirty Phupha.

We’re finally acknowledging the mosquito net as foreplay!

Finally, we the people have received what we needed. I wanted them to kiss so badly the first time they were here, and I’m finally sated.

Tian is wearing the Nong Nao sleeping mask! This is not a drill!

They did the Bad Buddy score scene. Few things make me happier than seeing older gays learn something from their juniors. Good for Phupha to get flirty in the morning.

I don’t think I mind Phupha surprising Tian in Bangkok, since it’s always seemed like a long drive. I get Phupha wanting that time to collect himself and put on his best face.

“People here let their cameras eat first.” I hate this description, but he’s correct.

GAYS IN A PHOTOBOOTH! I’m just going to pass out now.

Yes, Tian. Please upgrade this man’s fit.

Phupha is being so brave about how nervous he is about new clothes and their costs.

I’m so glad we’re getting to play dress up with Phupha like he’s a Ken.

Oh, I’m crying a little bit. Asking that Pat and Pran portray them feels like the exact restriction Phupha would apply. He would want their story told by people who know them and who they can trust a bit. I think Pran definitely gets Phupha.

Mix has such an incredible way to shift his face slightly and be suddenly so smitten.

Ink and Pa are at the play!!

This play was cute. I loved this.

Not the reversal on the finger suck into a genuinely decent kiss once again interrupted by Pa!!

White cameo!! I hope he continues to pop up in BL for the next 60 years.

Phupha and his surprises. I’m okay with it for today, but I hope his next step is being more forthright.

I love that Tian’s parents led the conversation for Phupha. He needed their approval, but respects them too much to ask for it.

His errand was a ring for a proposal. I forgive him for everything.

“We finally have a thousand stars now.” Okay, gonna lie down and cry. I don’t know what it was, but something old in me just snapped.

I really like Mix and Earth as a pair. They play their dynamic differently with each couple. Tian and Jim kiss differently than Wen and Jim.

Yes, give us the same unhinged outro that Pat and Pran gave us in episode 12.

Final Verdict: 10, Highly Recommended (Primarily for Gay Reasons). I understand a lot of the complicated feelings everyone has about Pat and Pran, but I personally loved all of this. I respect Aof telling something mildly dissatisfying with Pat and Pran, because that is honestly at the core of their dynamic. They are constantly subject to outside influences that make it difficult for them to be happy the way they want to be, and that is most evident in Pran. I really liked them crossing over to meet Tian and Phupha, because we got to see both couples really face who they are.

Part of the big difference here is that we are still seeing Pat and Pran in the middle of their story, and Pran especially still has things he needs to sort. With Tian and Phupha, we’re seeing them after their show ended. We’re seeing them face themselves with the help of the Chaos Gays that showed up on their doorstep. As a result, everyone got to see themselves differently, and we the audience got some of what we needed from both shows.

For me, I just love that both of these couples are “in repair” and are trying to be present for each other. Like Uncles Cheep and Dej said, once the infatuation fades, it’s about trust and commitment. I like that we walked away from this with me feeling like that’s the goal for both of them.

Shoutouts to @shortpplfedup @lurkingshan, @ginnymoonbeam, @waitmyturtles, and @wen-kexing-apologist for talking through episode 3 yesterday. 

[guardian-of-fandoms]

Rescue Bots as Ducktales 2017

Kade: I’ve done nothing with my life! I’m a failure!

Dani: Aww, that never bothered you before.

-

Cody: Great party, can’t wait to tell my therapist about it when i’m older, BYEEEEEEEEE

-

Frankie: To the Naos! That’s greek for temple.

Cody: Okay, stop assuming i know things. Like, base line, assume i know nothing. 

-

Graham: Are you saying Kade would rather eat us than hot dogs?

Kade: I do hate hot dogs...

-

Cody: We’re.. okay?

Dani: Oh my gosh, no magic can kill me I’M THE CHOSEN ONE!

-

Graham: Please, not everything is a dark family secret!

Charlie: KIds, i’ve got a dark family secret.

-

Heatwave: Cody’s crashed so many times, i’m convined he may be immortal!

-

Cody: Do you know how many evil robots i have faced?! HAHAHAHAHA too many....

-

Kade: TREASURE!

Dani: ADVENTURE!

Graham: HISTORACAL ACCURACY!

-

Chase, playing detective: Look what the Cat dragged in.

Dani: ... You asked me to come here???

-

Kade: Dad won’t even let me touch the toaster!

-

Dani: His life is like a Haiku!

Kade: Yeah, it’s fake garbage that structurally makes no sense, He’s obviously lying!

-

Graham: You know who my best friend is?

Kade: Me!

Graham: Sleep.

Kade: (offended gasp)

-

Kade: IF I DON’T MAKE IT TELL MY SIBLINGS I WAS THE BEST ONE!

-

Dani: Sure, i’m not the best at cooking, or age appropriate stories, or child endangerment,  BUT NOBODY’S PERFECT!

-

Cody: Talking animals wearing clothes!

Kade: Oh no, did we die? are we in cody heaven?

-

Cody: He tried to kidnap me, so i trapped him in an improvised ball pit snare trap.

Frankie: Alright!

-

Dani: Make our markes on the world!

Kade: Not have to answer to anyone!

Cody: Be horribly alone.

-

Graham: I’m still not counting out a Methane Gas Leak.

Dani: NOT EVERYTHING IS A METHANE GAS LEAK

-

Cody: You... realize there’s a difference between quitting and dying, right?

Dani: Not to me.

-

Kade: Heatwave, who’s side are you on?!

Heatwave: Oh, neither, this is just way more entertaining to me than that movie.

-

Woodrow: Just because it’s a myth dosen’t mean it’s not true!

Graham: Well, actutally....

-

Woodrow: That’s what they want you to think!

Charlie: Who is “they”?

Woodrow: Exactly...

Charlie: ... what?

-

Graham: Are we supposed to examine every rock in this tunnel?! ... actually, that sounds pretty fun- WAIT THAT’S NOT THE POINT

-

Kade: WAIT YOU WERE TRYING TO HELP HIM KILL US?!

Dani: If i’m gonna be sacrifed, i wanna do it right!

-

Heatwave: Most kids wouldn’t get this excited over impending doom. Kade usually just cries.

-

Doc Greene: SHUT UP EVERYONE, I’VE DONE SOMETHING BRILLIANT!

-

Doctor Morocco: STOP LAUGHING! I’ve wasted an entire reel of film, and you’re not even in frame!

-

Frankie: Do you think i put glitter on my top secret notebooks just because it’s pretty?

Cody: (sheepishly nods with glitter covered hands)

Frankie: Well, sure, it’s a perk, but-

-

Charlie: I’ll be in my office if you need me. please don’t need me.

-

Graham: oooooooh, do i spy some Shale?

Dani: how is that better than subway monsters?

-

Kade: I’ll try to listen to you next time, and not, y’know, pull a kade.

Heatwave: Seriously, that’s a thing now?

Kade: It’s all about branding.

-

Blades: It’s a cautionary tale on Mole Monsters! And everyone could use a lesson on chainsaw saftey!

-

Cody: This appears in like all of my dreams. i’m cradeling a moon made of my own tears???? who knows what that’s about.

Frankie: ... i have some theories.

-

Chase: I’m afraid that dosen’t belong to you, Evan and Miles!

Miles: I’m afraid i don’t care!

-

Frankie: Then i shall keep your secret, for i believe in science. but i also belive... IN LOOOOVVVEE!!!

-

Charlie: Where’s kade?

Dani: Sleeping.

Graham: Who’s kade?

Dani: (slowly looks over at graham)

(charlie runs off)

Dani: ... WHO’S KADE?!

-

Graham: Do you need me to get a briefcase?! ‘Cause i can go get one, and become the vice president of being Chill! ‘Cause i’m chill!!! I’m straight chilling!!! LIKE A VILLAIN, EVEN!!!! (manic laughter)

Kade: Oh no graham’s broken...

-

Woodrow: I guess you could say i’m well versed in the custodial sciences, hehe...

Cody: ... WE TRUSTED YOU!!!! CAME ALL THE WAY DOWN HERE, GOT ATTACKED BY A SQUID!!! 

[cemeterygrace]

14, 16, and 22 for the ask game :D

tysm for the ask!

14. what’s your favorite color?

green! but not just any green like really pretty dark leafy green

16. want any tattoos? what of?

ok i want so many tattoos. i’m planning to get a bunch but here’s some of the top ones.

in a few months i’m gonna get the number 17 on my forearm. 17 is the age i was when a bunch of shit turned around for me. i got into my dream school, i finally got diagnosed with adhd and i got on meds, which helped out with my grades and school in general, i cut off a bunch of toxic people, and i generally became a lot happier with how my life is going. so yeah long winded explanation of that one but yeah it means a lot to me.

another one! i wanna get a tattoo of joan of arc, but mainly based off of some art of gerard as joan of arc. cause that was absolutely iconic and mcr is one of my favorite bands of all time what with the general Gender™️ of gee being a core memory of mine and a nonbinary/formless blob awakening for me

and last but not least: peace will win and fear will lose because i also love twenty one pilots and my severe depression arc went from like 2020-2023 (which also got a lot better when i was 17) and they mean a lot to me as well. i wanna get this one before i see them on october 12th!

i have a ton more but those are the top 3 atm.

22. how much sleep did you get last night?

uhh not a lot it was a hotel pullout couch if that gives you any idea

tysm nao for the ask!! <3

[dyingturn]

Au where an actor that acts for the best seller uhhh visual novel yttd has isekaid/transmigrated to the actual game. And now has to survive without tipping others off that they're not actually the character.

Alright, I really love actor aus, I haven't seen much on ao3 that is about yttd but I was just thinking, man, I would love to combine this with isekai/transmigration aus and here we are.

In the actors world, yttd was pretty popular. And having the opportunity to play as their favourite character is just like a dream come true. Seeing as how their character is just like them, personality and appearance wise, they just relate to them so much.

But while memorising the script from their trailer, before the shooting of their first scene. Their vision blurs and before they know it they just passed out.

And when they woke up, they saw a familiar place, the room that they were introduced to, to where their first scene would happen. The first trial room.

Okay, before anything, I haven't really figured out which character is actually gonna get isekaid so uhhh here are some thoughts

- they cannot remember their real name nor the names of the actors

- uhhh, I'll probably edit to add some here, idk

- it's only them who was isekaid there (but it would be interesting if there was someone else with them and just panicking because they have no idea if this character's actions became different because of their actions or its just someone like them

If its...

Actor! Sara: has read and played the visual novel. Has never met actor!Joe and they do rehearse sometimes. When they woke up in the game, they figured where they were and thought for a moment (huh, those lines seems similar-- it's the lines from the game!) And acted their lines word per word. And as they walk around they noticed the lack of cameras, the director's yell of cut or just the overall setting. Their motive of playing their role to avoid suspicion is mostly because of Joe.

Actor!kanna: has only read the script, they know about their character from the description of it from the directors but they have not read/played the visual game. When meeting actor!kugie they immediately became friends, often media described them to be sisters-- even acted on a movie. So So they realized they have a role as sisters in yttd series, they often rehearsed their lines. Waking up in the first trial, a!kanna were traumatised. They thought it was just scene, but halfway through they noticed the lack of cameras and immediately went to action and tried to help kugie. But it was too late. Their motives of playing their role is mostly due to them being terrified and not knowing what else to do.

Actor!reko: has played the game and read the script. They haven't met any of the actors, but they have heard of actor! Alice, since they have been watching some of his movies. (She thinks the game was neat, it had some banger of sound tracks too) I have no clue what reko's first trial actually was so, uhhh, their motive to playing their character is to just avoid suspicion.

Actor!nao: she's a new aspiring actor that has played/read the visual novel, it was amazing! They even made an art about it! Actor!mishima was actually the person that got her the role, since they know each other from... (plot convenience, I'll add something after), but what made her go there was to meet actor!reko, or who'll play as her. Anyways, the first trial, confused but played her part before asking mishima some things like, where Is this? Are we done shooting? Etc.. before realizing this was the game, and her motives for playing her part was to avoid suspicion from mishima.

I'll add the others later, I need to sleep hahaha.

[naofaun]

Welcome to naofaun’s blog! 💤

you're feeding me poison, addicted to this feeling, i can't help but swallow up . . .

Nickname/s:

nao, angel

Age:

nineteen

Pronouns:

fluctuating; current: he/him

Misc:

autism, adhd, pots, ehds, bpd, and more

BYI:

i have a very hard time with tone and i would appreciate the usage of tone indicators. if you think im being rude, i promise im not - there's either something going on or it's my poor ability to read and articulate tone.

please refrain from posts or messages containing long strings of emojis. stay away from special fonts or characters. i use a screen reader (albeit very off and on), and these things break it so badly.

DNI:

i don't have much of a dni, but i will block: discourse blogs of any kind, people who believe (p. disorder) abuse exists (“narc abuse”, etc), and for literally any and all other reasons. i block very freely.

————————————

Likes:

rainy days, cats, vampires, psychology, romance novels, pastel colours, video games, pies, ice cream, and more !

Dislikes:

loud noises, hot days, desaturated colours (esp. oranges and greens), derealization horror such as liminal spaces, chicken nuggets, and more !

Hobbies:

reading, writing, gaming, photography, journaling, listening to music, shopping, sleeping, swimming, book collecting, painting, astrology, and poetry

————————————

What this blog posts:

mostly reblogs from hellaverse, persona 5, and more

Media interests:

hazbin hotel [*], genshin impact, minecraft, sims 4, bungou stray dogs, death note, persona 5: royal, castlevania, castlevania: nocturne, vanitas no cartes, honkai star rail, my hero academia, obey me, lego ninjago, lego ninjago: dragon's rising, sander's sides, stardew valley, roblox, life is strange: true colours, slime rancher, detroit: become human, vampyr, and more!

please note that i am very critical of all of my interests. most, if not all, of these have been or are special interests/hyperfixations at some point.

* i do not support the creator of hazbin hotel. i don't condone the use of the r slur, racism, and everything else that's wrong with these shows and vivzie.

Thank you for reading!

—

{ ♡ } coded tags !!!

• { ♡ } moonshine . . .

things that i want to share for later

• { ♡ } sunrise . . .

reblogs or posts about catastrophic, traumatic or otherwise unpleasant world events. please block this tag if you don't want to see it. i stay away from news like this because it severely impacts my mental health but occasionally i'll reblog something.

—

posts im unashamedly proud of (a (future) long list):

morro essay:

childe... analysis thing??

post-season 5 bsd au:

chuuya analysis:

about jealousy:

[korinthiakos]

Me: I'm gonna have a nao Me right now waking up after three hours of sleep:

[ncko-art]

a few of my thoughts abt sekaiichi hatsukoi that nobody asked for lolol

sih was one of the first bl anime i watched as a young teen and i have fond memories of it. recently, i watched an episode just for fun and got caught up in rewatching all of it (except for the episodes focusing on the two side couples bc i wasn't as invested this time around lolol) there's stuff that i like and stuff that i don't like now that im older and im just gonna leave my two cents on what i think in general.

takano and onodera was my fav couple back then and its what drew me back in this time around, however yokozawa and kirishima have claimed that spot now lmao. yokozawa really grew on me as a character after he was rejected by takano and the movie only cemented him as my fav character. his relationship with kirishima and his daughter hiyori is really sweet and the progression felt natural. i also loved how yokozawa and takano are able to stay friends and talk like how they used to.

progression is a good word for something i feel is missing from takano and onodera's relationship. while an-chan and yokozawa are giving up on their unrequited love and doing better as a result, takano and onodera's relationship feels incredibly stagnant considering how many chapters they've had to progress in.

it always goes like this: onodera shies away from being alone with takano or spending time with him, takano forcefully tries to spend more time with onodera, onodera says no, takano says yes, onodera then later slightly admits to being into/interested in takano, takano glomps him, onodera gets swept away, they have sex, one last gag at the end for onodera to go "this isn't love!!!!1" while the author goes 🏳️‍🌈🤔? and rinse and repeat. honestly, it's tiring to read at this point.

i get that it's a slowburn but maybe you shouldn't have your characters sleep with each other near the end of every chapter then lolol i feel like we're at a point where a confession from onodera. . .isn't really gonna deliver that much of a payoff.

when onodera collapsed from his poor eating habits and overworking himself and takano decided they would eat a meal together, i thought that was a great oppertunity for them to get more domestic. like yeah onodera would object at first but after a while, eating together could become routine (especially since takano is a good cook.) onodera would come over more regularly without realizing how natural it's become, he then gets a spare key to takano's place, etc. but as it stands currently, onodera doesn't want to eat with takano and im just 🗿

what's worse is, takano has always forced himself on onodera and ignored his boundries and personal space, but with the appearance of nao and haitani, takano has honestly just become so unlikable and jealous. like yeah, maybe his jealousy is justified because there are other men who are threatening to take onodera away from him but i don't think the solution is to grab onodera, bring him to his place and rail him into his bed every time that happens, like. i was reading chapter 28 right before i wrote this and ngl i cant even root for them anymore. this manga feels so dragged out because i see no actual progression with this couple, like they can't have a single deep conversation about anything before takano gets horny and onodera has to deal with it.

so yeah, i need more yokozawa and kirishima or isaka and asahina centric chapters asjhdajskhkal. nevertheless, i still like this show and maybe in the near future, i'll go back and watch the episodes about the other couples.

[30sdiary]

November 27 2024

This morning, I started to feel the nostalgy when moving along the road around Saigon River, seeing the gentle flow around this city. Tomorrow is my last day in this office, marking just more than a year working with people here. Not a very good experience, I was feeling lonely for a long time here until I met O and M and started dancing again in O's event. Yesterday also was my last day at the event before I leave for Hanoi. I had a mixed feeling of both exciting to go back with my son and to start new work there, but also a lingering feeling before leaving those persons who I was very closed to, who has helped me feel the sense of being connected, and recognized, empathized and loved. I had so many happy days here, that now I started to doubt whether I could be happy the same. Now I'm not feeling very good, I think I start missing this city even when I'm still here. But i know, the challenge of time and distance will help me distinguish which connection is the sustainable one through difficulties.

I met M the day before yesterday. He is not the type of showing emotions and more of an avoidant, but he asked me if I knew that I was about to go back to Hanoi the day we met. I saw a lot of sadness in his eyes, although we have just dated for a month but i know it is not easy to let go each other at this early phase of a relationship. I was a little bit of selfish just thinking that in the last day of this city, I want to live a common dating life, having people to date, to be intimate, to be sweet with each other, I did not think much about future because I'm still leaving. Now, I really want to stay here for longer, building some foundation for the new relationships here, but somehow need to balance the career also. Somehow the sadness in his eyes makes me feel a little bit guilty. I gave my table to him, as a gift so that my presence somehow is still around him. But somehow he changed his bumble profile to Looking for casual, fun dates... I think something has changed in his mind, and he has been keeping silent since yesterday lunch. It is getting weird for me.

Today I don't feel very good, want to sleep early and hope that tomorrow i can feel better. I'm not doing anything tonight, just stay home and relax because i have been out too much. Suddenly I don't have any faith in whatever happening around me. I know that's not a good mental situation, Im trying to practice what my therapy told me, to "believe in the potential of being mutually loved and respect". Im listening to "khi nao" Trieu nai cat cover, with those beautiful melody and lyric, hoping to find its love for myself and I don't want to give up on it. I'm just a little bit exhausted these days, gonna pack my stuffs, play my piano a little bit then, go to bed early today, hoping tomorrow I would feel better. I miss those peaceful solitude days so much, but I also love having good connection with some people I'm knowing.

[tamarakkoarchive]

Shin Megami Tensei III livetweet thread (1/3)

👀

lol chiaki sounds exactly the same as asahi... lack of diverse VAs aside i wasn't expecting her voice to be this squeaky

...ok chiaki annoyed me enough so i'm playing with no voices LOL

damn bro if it's indeed the same VA as asahi it's so funny... the frickin same reason i preferred to play with no voices in both games

~

wasn't pixie supposed to be so small she could fit in your hand iirc... she's so huge in nocturne

~

i was already like ‘whaaat, smt4 was harder than this’ but then amala network happened

okay fuck me, I didn’t know pixie was gonna get rid of dia when I let her change her skills, now I only have one (1) demon able to heal

~

LOL i took hrs to realize kagutsuchi is the word they use for moon cycle

me a gazillion yrs ago playing soul hackers: i wonder what mag stands for nocturne: this

and the first thing i noticed in smt3 was the lack of the mag system yet ironically the game themes ARE centered in mag itself so??¿¿

~

my gamer food (it's cashew soda)

~

smt3 is giving me p3 flashbacks of the game having -such- an atmospheric mood it makes you sleepy as hell

~

does demifiend learn almighty skills? im thinking of a magic build but I’m unsure so for now I’m only giving him lots of agility lol

he has such a physical attacker vibe tho... i just love seeing him punch the lights out of a jack frost

~

lmao shit here he comes

~

i find nekomata cringe as hell when they make her walk on all fours but when she's on two feet i'm like oh yeah... she's actually cool

~

losing one hour of grinding because a mf used last resort

~

spent so much time going back and forth this place his shorts must smell awful

i've seen plenty of nsfw of demifiend but none that depicts his dick. has someone ever attempted to draw how his tattoo looks down there

i have like a gazillion demifiend doujins and they're all good but none showed his demon balls. a shame

~

BE NICE TO HIM

~

i nicknamed demifiend nao from naoki and i keep thinking about naoya from p1 because i nicknamed him nao too... nao duo

~

nocturne has this thing where to get the actual treasure from chests instead of trash you have to walk in circles like an idiot until the moon cycle is full and this turns into the reason for a big part of my deaths because you end up having to fight enemies a lot

~

i could say a million things about why demifiend's design works so damn well to the point of being peak protag look but i'll keep things simple by saying i just love characters with shitty bangs

✔️ simplicity ✔️ shows forehead ✔️ half naked ✔️✔️✔️ who the FUCK cut their hair

~

me: the last boss wasn’t that hard, maybe i overgrinded or something haha raidou: 🔫

i have no words

you wanna fuck me so bad don't you

~

it would've been cool if there was some perceptible difference gameplay-wise in demifiend "calling" for his demon allies as an equal instead of "summoning" like a traditional summoner

~

look how sexy he is in the darkness... glow stick boi

~

first matador, then raidou, now this bullshit

i'll definitely cheat if i have to get this goddamn magatama again but wtf... NOT ONLY THEY ARE AWFULLY HARD BUT THEY'RE SO MANY IN A ROW

i'm lit letting the switch on sleep mode all the time, turn it on just to solve a few of these and then back to sleep mode so i can recover from my baldness

god i was already mentally prepared to be given some incredibly shitty reward but fine. we good. geis rights

get the fuck outta my face before i give you a flick in the head

"oh come on these puzzles couldn't have taken that long to-"

i was playing the whole game so far solely thru a wide tv screen but for these last ghoulish 17hrs is when i convinced myself to play on handheld mode for less mental damage

~

our thong catboy

i used to sleep on his design for years but now i get it. espe after finding out his butt is exposed

NOOOOOOOOO IT WAS COVERED IN NOCTURNE

who's the fucking furry that made him buttnaked in dx2

~

me with persona: sigh okay there's the option to bang your teacher… whatever me with nocturne: aw demifiend totally wants to bang his teacher 🥺 u a teacher boi aint u???

~

i have no idea which route i'm going lol i'm just choosing whatever option fits the mood of the scene and compared to SJ or smt4, here the things are a bit less... obvious i guess

~

> paralyzed status doesn't go away even after battle > dis-stun is like 450macca, have to save money for magatamas > gets fed up, goes searching for a kelpie with paraladi > keeps getting paralyzed by setantas nonstop while the fucking kelpie never shows up

[ask-the-shorty-squad]

I'll go order, I'll be back soon!

*With that, Nao gets up to go order the food.*

Kai, you look exhausted.. You okay, dear?

I'm as fine as I can be.. Which isnt alot but better than not being fine at all..

You need to get better sleep.

I would if I could.. Unfortunately it isnt that easy..

Why are you so tired anyway?

Complicated, and also personal.

Awh..

I wouldnt worry about it though.. The state I'm currently in is just temporary. This'll be over before long.

Uh... I'm still gonna worry about it.

[gummraa]

Feeling pretty down today (got that no good all shit ecstasy hangover) and my guy had to leave tonight already afterall and I’m just sitting in my apartment alone now. Probably gonna sleep soon finally, a friend is coming later also to sleep here but I’m way too tired to stay up. And it just all kind of sucks right nao 👍