#gonna list more of my favorites rapid fire i gotta get this out

[larabar]

well now we gotta come full circle hbjsdfhbj top 3 marine animals >:]

AA YAYYYY MY GUYS !!!!!!!!!!!

ok ummmm ill try my best to not make them all cetaceans

3. oceanic white tip shark they are round!!! and have fish friends!!!! 10/10 best shark everyone except bamboo sharks go home

2. any sturgeon literally any of them. roping arapaimas in there too i love big freshwater fish :]

1. ORCAS RRAAAAA theyre my everything i cannot express. how much i adore them. specifically pack ice large type b's theyve got big ol eye(patch)s

[painted-crow]

What does a rapid fire Bird Secondary look like ?

Me!

I've talked about this a bit before, but I don’t like detailed plans, like step by step "here's what I'm gonna do." There are circumstances when I'll plan, but rather limited ones:

For fun. Maybe I'm interested in something but can't do the actual activity, so I plan it out instead. This plan might serve as a reference later, but I'm just as likely to discard it because I don't feel like using it or I have a better idea.

As a crutch. If I'm really inertia-struck with anxiety or executive dysfunction, making a plan or even just a list can be a hack to get out of it, but again, I'm likely to abandon it halfway through if I start feeling better.

"Formal" experimentation. I don't do this a whole lot, and usually I do this kind of thing in my head... but sometimes you gotta actually think the details through and write them down in advance.

But it's not how I like to work. To me, plans feel brittle and restrictive and usually boring. I lean towards other tactics:

Clever repurposing of something I learned/collected, or of resources that happen to be around me

Use of a tool I picked up thinking "this'll be handy at some point"

Bringing up weird knowledge I acquired At Some Point, possibly by accident, for fun, or while working on something else

Bringing up general skills I learned on purpose

Learning skills on the fly because the situation needs them; I prefer to know what I'm doing better than this, but reasonably speedy autodidacticism is one of my most prized skills and it's not a bad fallback.

(El Goonish Shive)

"Moooom! Paint is identifying with a mad scientist character again!"

Basically, I pull from my collection of existing skills, tools, knowledge, and current available resources to craft a solution on the fly, after getting close enough to the situation to get a good look at the problem.

This makes me feel very clever, it works really well, and I love doing it. Favorite way to do stuff, hands down.

Trouble can be, if people don't recognize how much prep work goes into these "instant" solutions, they're inclined not to believe they're real and will actually work. And I don't like pulling the "actually I studied this for six months" card because it feels like bragging :/ plus, for all the different things I can say that about, it stops sounding believable.

Truth is, I have almost no attention span for television (I'm aware this is weird but don't have an explanation for it), I hyperfocus easily, and I choose hobbies with lots of moving parts.

Like aquascaping. Do you know how many different bottles of chemicals you need to get the water chemistry right so the aquatic plants will grow? For me it was five, but a lot of people I knew online had waaay more (and fancy CO2 systems) because they kept demanding plants. If you kept the right balance of fish and plants, you ended up with this little ecosystem in a box. Like a tiny slice of a river! I was pretty good at it.

I still don't know how I got from "let's try making California rolls" to "afraid to run out of good mirin," but somehow I ended up really into cooking Japanese food and it's a permanent influence on my pantry and basically anything I cook now.

I do know how I ended up with so many oil painting mediums and solvents and so many paint colors that I have to have a list on my phone now to keep track of which ones I have in stock, though. Also did you know that acrylic paints also have mediums you can add and they make using acrylics SO MUCH EASIER? because I do and it seems like nobody else does and that's sad.

I also binge read nonfiction, especially when I'm depressed. It gives me something to focus on and feels vaguely productive even when I don't have the energy to do more.

Does this all sound like a lot of work? It's really just some of the stuff I do for kicks. We haven't touched on the novels I've written, the coding languages I know, the gardens I've kept, the professional design software on my computer (which I built myself from parts), the knitting and the baking and the graphic design and the candle making and the martial arts and the French language stuff from back in high school that I still kinda remember.

OH and then you have the weird stuff I carry around. *empties purse* here we have a multitool, lockpicks, a can of WD-40, some yarn or string, bandaids, a styptic pen, hand sanitizer, hairbands, screws I don't want to lose bc they belong to my couch, glasses cleaning wipes, a metal pen with a point that can break a car window, a bunch of fast food napkins, mini bottles of ibuprofen and acetaminophen, earbuds, comb, random lanyard, and four mini rubber ducks; all of these make sense to me don't ask why my purse is heavy

Plus all the ebooks loaded onto my phone, which I carry everywhere! And I have even more in my Humble Bundle library.

I list all these off to make a point: Birds' resource libraries can be HUGE. I don't know where mine exists on the hugeness spectrum, but I'm only 23, and older Birds' libraries are probably even bigger.

So yeah, as odd and niche as my interests can be, I have a LOT of them, and I can just go into situations without a plan because between all the skills I've learned and the books I've read and reread and the resources I carry everywhere and the hoard of supplies at home and the Bird masks and the Badger mirroring and THEN the ability to learn what I need on the fly if all else fails--

I don't need a plan.

I don't want a plan.

I'm more powerful without it.

I can react and pull from anything I've ever done or used or read. I can build things on the fly. Doesn't matter if I need to help cater an event or build a website or just prop open a heavy door--I'll have something relevant, or I'll figure it out.

There are situations where I won't be as capable, of course. For example, I know very little about cars, or writing music, or roller skating, or amino acid protein chains. But that's okay, because there are other people who specialize in those things, and I'll almost certainly come out of the situation having learned something and added to my library.

(Except the roller skating thing. I'm kind of phobic about skating of any kind. Cool when other people do it, but I get *eurgh* sliding in socks on linoleum.)

How do I end this... oh!

The fancy word for the act of making up a solution to a problem on the spot, using whatever materials and resources you have on hand, is bricolage, and one who practices it is a bricoleur. I learned that from a LiveJournal blog about writing that I used to read when I was 12, and I still remember it for some reason, which is very on brand of me.

[sheerfreesia007]

Finding Love In Legacy Oaks pt. 2.5

Title: Finding Love In Legacy Oaks pt. 2.5

Fandom: Kingsman

Pairing: Agent Whiskey x Reader

Author: @sheerfreesia007

Words: 2,435

Warnings: Fluff

Permanent Tag List: @paintballkid711, @fioccodineveautunnale, @phoenixhalliwell​, @synystersilenceinblacknwhite, @linkpk88, @weirdowithnobeardo

Author Notes: ***Very picture heavy!! Had to add the pictures to be able to show you guys what I’m describing.** So this one was super fun to write. It was a bit a collaboration with the one and only Sparkles! She gave the specifics on what would be in the box and I ran with it. Also the Jelly Tots phrase is from the British ladies, Bubbles said it to me in a message and I fell in love with it. Feedback is always appreciated

Also I’m slowly figuring out how to work on the iPad so things might be a little wonky for a bit but I’m quickly learning and soon my old laptop might become obsolete!

Gif Credit:  Pinterest    Picture Credit: Sparkles she emailed me all the photos

It was early one morning when Jack stepped out to grab the morning paper when he noticed the medium sized box on his front step. Staring at it curiously he could see that it was a normal looking brown box that had a bunch of writing on the outside of it different colored letters. On top of the box in purple sparkling block letters was For Jack and Esme Daniels. Grabbing the newspaper and setting it atop the box he easily picked up the box looking around to see if he could spot who would have left it on his step.

   When he turned his head left and right he didn’t see anyone on the sidewalks or for that matter out in their front yards. Shrugging his shoulders he stepped back into the house and began walking through the living room towards the kitchen.

Esme spotted him immediately as she was laying on the floor in front of the tv watching cartoons. She bounced up from her spot on the floor and darted over to him quickly. Dancing around him Jack could see the excitement in her eyes as she stared a the box.

“Oooh! What’s that? Did you order something? Is it for me? It’s got my name on it.” Esme spouted out the questions like rapid fire as she bounced next to Jack while they made their way into the kitchen.

“Relax Es. Take a breath you don’t want to trigger your asthma.” He warned her as he slid the box on the kitchen island. Esme nodded and stopped her bouncing before sliding onto one of the kitchen stools near the box. Jack watched as she took a few slow deep breaths and calmed herself down. “Better, good.” Jack reassured her as he rubbed a hand along her back soothingly.

Jack then turned back to the box and began reading the lettering written on the box. For Jack & Esme, Welcome to the neighborhood!, Welcome to Gardenscape! Were just some of the phrases written all around the box in bright colorful permanent marker.

“So who’s it from?” Esme asked as she watched Jack open the top of the box that had just the flaps folded in on themselves. Jack peered into the box and tilted his head curiously as he saw the wide range of items in the box. Esme kneeled up on the stool and peered into the box as well before she squealed in delight. “Look at the pretty flowers Daddy!” She cried happily.

Inside the box laying on top were two white envelopes with Jack’s and Esme’s names on them, so before Esme could start reaching into the box he pulled out the envelopes and handed Esme’s to hers. She quickly tore into the envelope and pulled out a card that had a pirate on the front that looked like it had been drawn on to add longer hair with a cute pirate saying on it. Jack smiled and turned back to his card pulling it out to see a simple red card with the words celebrating his new home. Still with a smile on his face he opened the card to see half normal print and half cursive writing looping across the card, he idly thought it was pretty handwriting of the gift giver.

Welcome to the neighborhood! I hope your move here wasn’t too too stressful and that you find yourself relaxing in your new home. I wanted to welcome you to the neighborhood the only way I know how, with this here care package. I’m kind of known for them, just ask any of your neighbors.

Anyway, I’ve packed a few goodies in here for you and Esme. I’ve been quite a lot about the two of you from the other neighbors. I apologize that I haven’t introduced myself yet, but I’ve been a little busy with my work and helping out the neighbors with some of their things they need handled. I promise I will come and introduce myself at the monthly meeting.

So in your package is a loaf of Mrs. Parker’s infamous Rye bread, she is a wonderful baker and if you can swindle anything out of her make sure it’s her bread. It. Is. To. Die. For! There are also three different homemade jams, strawberry, blackberry, and raspberry. I’m not much of a baker besides chocolate cookies but I do have a garden and enjoy making jams and canning any of the produce and fruit that I grow. You’ll also find a jar of homemade dill pickles in the box as well (like I said I love canning and pickles are my jam! Hah!). There’s a mug in there that I figured you would enjoy after moving into our little section. A brand new doormat that I hope brings a smile to your face every time you come home. A batch of chocolate chips that I baked, it’s the only thing I’m good at baking so enjoy. A pretty bouquet of some of my favorite flowers, Tulips, that I grow in my own garden to brighten up your home.

And finally for Esme I’ve included a Unicorn journal and a set of sparkle pens. I only recently found out that she loves pirates so if unicorns aren’t her thing I apologize!

Hope to see you at the monthly meeting at the end of this week!

Your Friendly Neighbor,

           Bunny (Not my real name but everyone has nicknamed me this because apparently I’m like the energizer bunny.)

Jack grinned softly as he finished reading his card and slowly closed it, setting it down on the kitchen island. He looked over to Esme and saw her eagerly reading her own card. Picking up the pretty yellow tulip bouquet he moved towards the sink and opened the cabinet under it to search for a vase to set the flowers in.

After filling it with water and setting the flowers in it he placed it in the middle of the kitchen island. Esme sighed softly and shut her card placing it down on the kitchen island. Jack smiled softly at her response to the kind gesture of their new neighbor.

“Can I ask what your card said?” He asked curiously as his eyes watched Esme silently.

“No Daddy. It’s girl stuff. Bunny said I could share with you if I wanted but I didn’t have to.” She said firmly and Jack nodded his head agreeing with her having a gut feeling that Bunny wouldn’t be a bad influence on Esme.

“You’re absolutely right kiddo. You can choose if you want to share with me.” He said kindly. “So what do you say we dig into this bread and jam Bunny gave us?” He asked and Esme nodded eagerly.

———

After having a hearty breakfast of sunny side up eggs, bacon and toasted Mrs. Parker’s rye bread with butter and a mix of the three jams Jack leaned back in his chair and smiled lazily over at Esme. She had already cleaned her plate and was now flipping through the blank journal with the set of sparkle pens lying next to it.

“Now that’s gonna be your journal. I won’t read it unless you want me to. But if something is bothering you I want you to come to me and tell me got it? Don’t keep it to yourself.” Jack said knowingly as he looked at Esme imploringly. Esme nodded her head and looked over at him.

“Kinda like after Mommy died?” She asked softly and Jack felt his heart skip a beat in his chest.

“Yeah we don’t want a repeat of that time after Mommy died okay?” He said softly nodding his head. Jack opened his arms and Esme quickly slid off her chair and crawled into his lap hugging him tightly.

“I love you Daddy.” Esme said softly as the two of them hugged each other close.

“Love you lots like jelly tots?” He asked teasingly and Esme groaned against him but Jack quickly held her squirming  little body tight to his.

“DADDY!!” She cried exasperatedly and Jack laughed loudly as he struggled with holding her close.

“Nope you gotta say it you know the rules!” He sang in a singsong voice making Esme grunt and groan as she tried to struggle out of his arms. “Say it! I won’t ever let you go Esme Daniels unless you say it!” He called out amused.

“Fine!” She cried annoyed and the struggling instantly stopped as Jack eagerly awaited her words. “Love you lots like jelly tots.” She said around a giggle and Jack grinned as he hugged her tightly before pressing a kiss to her temple. “Daddy! I can’t breathe!” She cried out trying to get him to release her and he laughed as his arms slowly did release her.

“Esme Daniels you can take my breath away all the time.” He said grinning at her. Esme huffed and rolled her eyes at him.

“Daddy I’m too big to say that stuff anymore.” She huffed at as she began to clean her pens and new journal up and walked out of the room.

Jack was still grinning as he leaned back in his chair, he knew Esme was growing up and soon she would be right when she said she was too big to be saying their cute little phrases. But Jack couldn’t help wanting to hold on to these little moments just a little bit longer.

Where they said silly things meaning I love you, like the jelly tots phrase. He remembered when she had first said that phrase to him. It had been after one of his “work trips” that had taken across the big blue pond to the UK. While he was over there he had found these sugar coated jelly sweets called Jelly Tots and he had picked up a bag for Esme to bring home to her. She had loved the little candies and they had become one of her favorite sweets to eat. It wasn’t until they were fooling around one night while watching a princess movie that the phrase had popped out of her mouth and it had just stuck. The two of them would say it random times to make it more special to them.

And as he sat there listening to the soft humming of Esme from her room he couldn’t help but remember the first time he had told her that she could take his breath away all the time. It had been the doctor visit where she was diagnosed with asthma. She had been sitting on the examination table in the doctor’s office and Jack could tell she was feeling sad at her new prognosis. No matter what Maria tried to do to cheer her up nothing seemed to work. It was just a stroke of genius that the little phrase formed in his brain and he said it out loud with a goofy grin on his face.

When Esme had looked up at him and giggled happily at the silly phrase Jack knew immediately that it would be said just to cheer her up and to show that he loved her dearly. For him it was those little moments that he loved best to share with her.

Standing from his chair he cleared away the plates and set them in the sink. Moving back towards the box he remembered that the card had said there was a mug in there for him. Reaching in and digging around the box he found it easily pulling it out to wash it with the other dishes. When he ready the funny saying on it he burst out into happy laughter and shook his head. Whoever this Bunny person was he couldn’t wait to meet her if her humor really was how she was presenting it in her gifts for him and Esme.

———

After washing and drying the dishes Jack easily went through the rest of the box and stored the baked cookies on the counter and pulled out the rolled up doormat so he could go set it outside the front door. He slipped the rolled up doormat under his armpit and walked towards the front door and stepped outside.

The neighborhood was slowly starting to wake up and people were stepping outside to either leave for work or to pick up their newspapers. Jack waved over to Mr. Turnbill as he got into his station wagon and pulled out of his driveway. Sarah and Henry were next to leave in separate cars and they both waved at Jack before they drove away.

Just then Jack heard a lawnmower powering on and he turned his head to look past Mrs. Parker’s residence to where he had been told Mr. Quinten lived and saw the same woman from the dog park pushing the lawnmower over the front yard grass as an elderly man sat on the front porch. Jack watched for a few minutes as the woman pushed the lawnmower over the grass and he couldn’t see the elderly man yelling at her over the noise of the lawnmower. After a few minutes he watched as she stopped suddenly and whirled around waving her hands in the air at the elderly man.

“I’m pretty sure you ain’t got a say in how I do it. I’ve been mowing your grass for how many years now?! I know how you like your lawn mowed!” Came her aggravated voice through the air. Jack pressed his lips together trying not to laugh at the two arguing over how the lawn should be mowed. When he saw the man gesturing towards the lawn in an impatient manner the woman responded with a huff and turned back to the mower.

Jack smiled as her eyes landed on him and her face seemed to light up with a grin. She waved happily and he waved back. He showed her the rolled up mat and nodded his head before unrolling it and laying in front of the door. When he looked down he burst out in peals of laughter as he read what was on the door mat. Turning back to the woman who was standing there watching him with a grin on her face he waved again.

“Thank you!” He called out.

“You’re welcome!” She called back and he could hear the delight and amusement in her voice when she spoke. She then turned the mower back on and continued to mow Mr. Quinten’s lawn. Jack smiled and stepped back into his house. He really couldn’t wait to finally meet the infamous Bunny.

[pocket-infinity]

My personal top games of all time

Honestly this is just gonna be me talking about games and why I like them. There’s no particular order.

Minecraft by Mojang - This was the first video game I ever knew about. Not the first I played (if we count stuff on wii, but do we count that?), but I certainly knew about it before other things. Beyond that, it was also the first game I ever played seriously. I’ve spent hours upon hours in this game on servers with friends, alone just building stuff, and this game is probably a big part of the reason that I have any creativity at all. Even if I could know how many hours I’ve played this game, I wouldn’t want to. Gotta be in the multiple thousands, now, if not tens.

Heartbound by Pirate Software - This game is a... unique experience. A lot of folks would probably say that this is some sort of “undertale clone” or “new undertale” but honestly? They’re only similar in speaking terms, and this game is in early access and it does the whole “All of your choices matter” thing better than Undertale ever did, but here’s the neat part: it never announces it. Nothing is going to tell you that you can not put on your sweatshirt and/or not take the axe at the start of the game and make all fights harder. Nothing tells you that having the jacket vs not having it will give you different dialogue for characters. Nothing tells you about the achievements in the game; they’re all secrets, and some are incredibly well-hidden to the point where I (not being a super completionist) would never have had a chance to find them if I didn’t regularly attend the development streams. Oh yeah, by the way, they stream development on the game on weekdays & play video games on weekends at twitch.tv/gopiratesoftware. And, lastly, the music for this game fucking SLAPS.

Undertale by Toby Fox - Okay we all get the deal, it’s a good game, choices and lore and story and stuff, I’m gonna move on bc nobody wants to hear that and I don’t wanna have to write it again.

Team Fortress 2 by Valve - The first FPS I ever played! I have 894 hours on this game oh god when did that happen. But yeah this game invented a whole genre that nobody even tried to replicate until 2016. The music is great, it’s a weird game, and if you don’t take it too seriously, it’s fun.

The Stanley Parable by Galactic Cafe - This game is so much more than it lets on. It’s an insane, surreal, bizarre, comedic game about a dude who walks out of his office. Similar to Heartbound, there are innumerable choices to make, and the developers seem to have thought of more than everything a player could want to do. It’s also got some very meta storytelling, and it’s the game that first got me into that sort of thing.

OneShot by Future Cat LLC - Honestly, it’s just an interesting story. I’m not really sure what makes this one so fun, but I think it might be stuff like the characters being kind and adorable, the oddness and diversity of the adventure, the general setup and intro for the story and the absolute insanity of everything that happens during the Solstice playthrough.

Hollow Knight by Team Cherry - 100% the game that made me enjoy the difficulty of games. It’s a very, very long adventure packed to the brim with lore and hidden storytelling (which I love), and the gameplay is remarkably tight and engaging. The customization via the charm system is also incredibly and allows for an insane number of gameplay styles.

Hyper Light Drifter by Heart Machine - This game is just so damn wild to me. It’s not the craziest or most visually stunning or most difficult game in existence, but it’s got a charmingly simple art style, a metric ton of stuff to do, and engaging gameplay. The story, as well, is great, especially if you can figure out what’s actually going on in its entirety due to all the enigma surround the events. If you can’t, then the end is still an incredible experience. Panacea by Disasterpeace (a song from the ost) is absolute perfection.

Portal 2 by Valve - This game got me thinking with Portals.

Pathologic 2 by Ice-Pick Lodge & tinyBuild - Not gonna lie, I can’t finish this game. I know I just threw out all of my credentials there, but this game is just brutally punishing before you know what you’re doing, and I never knew what I was doing. However, it’s very atmospheric, and the story is rather engaging. I couldn’t get past Day 3, but I was super damn interested by then.

Destiny 2 by Bungie - I have more than 1k hours on this game if we include the time it was on Battle.net. The gunplay in the game, the moment-to-moment, is so god damn good. Every gun is satisfying, and it’s just a good experience there. The visuals are certainly beautiful at times, and the lore goes so many miles deep. So many. I find the grinding in this game to be acceptable to great, depending on the circumstance, so it’s a pretty neat experience. A decent chunk of the game is free to play, too, if you’re uncertain.

Ori and the Blind Forest by Moon Studios - First and foremost, this game is beautiful. Every single god damn frame is a piece of art unto itself, and putting them together makes an unimaginably magnificent experience as you jump, bash, and glide your way through Nibel. Unrelated thing, but Ori is so damn adorable. I love the little glowy baby. But the platforming is sublime, as well, and the combat isn’t terrible. The story, though... oh, the story. The characters aren’t that deep, and the narrative isn’t complex, but damn does it make you feel things. It is in no capacity weak in any area, especially not the visuals and music.

Ori and the Will of the Wisps by Moon Studios - Fun fact before we begin: this game came out on my birthday! Anyways, moving on, take everything that Ori and the Blind Forest was, and just make it better. That’s this game. The story packs even more of a punch. The visuals are even more incredible (assuming your computer/xbox can handle them). The music is even more beautiful. The platforming is even more engaging and enjoyable. And the combat is a drastic improvement over the previous game’s already acceptable stuff. This game... its story... again, not some deep, philosophical narrative, but that mother fucking story... I am not joking when I said I cried for a week about this game. It is a transcendent experience, and quite probably my favorite game of all time. I can’t imagine something better.

Real quick, let’s just do a rapid-fire round of games that made me cry:

Heartbound

Undertale

To The Moon (not on the list)

Minecraft

OneShot

Hyper Light Drifter

Ori and the Blind Forest (a lot)

Ori and the Will of the Wisps (profusely, for multiple days)

[lavenderlight]

1, 2, 3, 4, 6, 7, 9, 11, 12, 13, 14, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 29, 31, 33, 34, 35, 36, 39, 40 >:)

Ahdgkhh okay here we go!!!

1: Which TES games have you played?

All 5 main series games, ESO, and Blades!

2: Favorite TES game?

Oblivion........ like the other games have traits I like more, but also cons. Like... if I had to pick a game to just play with only the Unofficial Patch, it’d be that one.

3: When and how you got into TES? I was at a game store with my brother and we saw Oblivion with all these award “amazing game” stickers on it on clearance. So picked it up. I wasn’t impressed right away (remember picking dark elf tho) so put it down. My bro played it and said “omg you have to get out of the tutorial dungeon that sucks but the rest of the game is so good!” So I made a bosmer and did and there rest is history. TES has been a special interest of mine and a big comfort series for a decade now!  4: Favorite race Bosmer! Dunmer are a close second though. Thanks Morrowind. 5: Favorite province Valenwood........... love it............ Cyrodiil too because I’m basic. 6: Favorite character Ahdjgh hard to pick because there are so many! Off the top of my head, Dagoth Ur/Voryn Dagoth, Indoril Nerevar (what a shock, I know), Serana Volkihar, Glarthir, The Adoring Fan (don’t @ me), The Jemane Brothers, Marcurio, really all the characters from ESO’s main quest and the ending side quests who help you 😭😭. 7. Favorite faction

Thieves’ Guild, minus Skyrim’s. Skyrim’s Thieves’ Guild was awful eww.

8: Which province you would like to live in

If the lore and history and stuff weren’t a thing, Summerset because it’s aesthetic and has nice beaches. Realistically, probs Cyrodiil because I’m basic and I like how it’s a melting pot of various races and cultures!

As much as I love Valenwood, wouldn’t be able to handle the Green Pact

9: Which deity/deities would you worship?

Dibella - because I like how she’s the divine for the arts, and actual true love and beauty in the world (feel like she’s the divine most likely to say gay rights and trans rights). That vibes with me.

Makes me sad that both in the games and in the fandom, she’s reduced to “ha ha slutty sex goddess”. 

10: Favorite Divine

Dibella because see above.

11: Favorite Daedric Prince

Oh boy... hajdg I love Daedra (except Molag Bal - eww)!!! So it’s hard to pick. Just rapid fire listing some favs: Sheogorath, Meridia, Azura, Barbas (does he count?), Hircine... 

12: Favorite enemy

Dagoth Ur

13: Favorite dungeon

Hmmm, I feel like I’m forgetting some, but I enjoyed Nocturnal’s trial dungeon in Skyrim because I like sneaking and it was all based on that.

14. You have awakened and you are a Cliff Racer. What do you do?

Hunt and kill anyone who dares to step outside Seyda Neen lol

15: What would you do if you contracted vampirism?

C u r e

16: What would you do if you contracted lycanthropy?

C u r e

17: Are there any characters you have crushes on?

Not rly because I’m ace.

 If so, who?

18: Favorite Great House

The Sixth House. The Tribe Unmourned. The-

Honestly all of them are whack and have... issues. When I played Morrowind, I didn’t join any of them lol. Telvanni is at least entertaining and very out there which makes them cool. So I guess them?

19: Favorite TES music

Ahaha... I sold my soul to Jeremy Soule... I have so so many... :’)

“The Road Most Travelled”, “Peaceful Waters”, “Stilt Sunrise”,  “Auri-El’s Ascension”, “Sunrise of Flutes”, “Harvest Dawn”, “All’s Well” “The Streets of Whiterun”, “Secunda” (this is one of my all time favourite video game songs!), “Sovngarde”, “One They Fear”

Then from ESO which has other composers too: “Northpoint Nocturne”, “Moth, Butterfly, and Torchbug”, and “Grazelands Dawn” (mostly because it’s a remix of “The Road Most Travelled” 🥺)

Oh, and this song from the Morrowind dlc because the remaster of “Nerevar Rising” from 2:54 onward. (which how could I forget “Nerevar Rising”? Ugh it gives me feels! The Oblivion and Skyrim main themes are very near and dear to me too)

Also really enjoyed this song from Clockwork City - captures the melancholy vibe and I like the clock noises in it.

20: In your opinion, what is the scariest thing in TES?

I can’t stand spiders so anytime anything having to do with them shows up... I play with mods that remove them and in ESO,  I have a list of dungeons and places to avoid. If I have to do one, I make someone go with me and kill them for me lol.

The Lighthouse Quest in Skyrim was also mega spooky. As for lore, soul trapping and the Soul Cairn really freaks me out! I can’t bring myself to use soul trapping because it bothers me :( I headcanon that when a soul gem runs out of charge, the soul is freed because it’s the only way I can sleep at nigh leave me alone lol 21: Favorite main quest Morrowind, hands down. I will infodump and discuss that game’s plot forever. 22: Favorite side quest

I really like the Daedric Shrine quests, they’re always fun. Also love the silly little short quests like in Morrowind when you have to help the guy get his pants back, or in ESO where you gotta find the lost dog in Valenwood and pet it.

Oblivion has loads of side quests I loved... the missing dunmer painter, Hackdirt, that quest with the ladies who are killing men, the Floating Bowl quest... the mystery at Chorrol Castle....

23: Most frustrating experience in a TES game

I get mad any time the sneaking mechanics in ESO don’t work like the main games. Because I always play an archer-thief lol.

That one fabricant machine puzzle in Tribunal.... oh man........ I had to look it up.

And also the final boss for Clockwork City was annoying. Don’t go to the Clockwork City!

24: Funniest experience in a TES game

Other than moments intended to be funny, I sometimes laugh whenever I miss a jump and end up dying from fall damage. It’s so ridiculous.

Dagoth Ur’s “What are you doing?!” when you first attack the Heart always gets a chuckle out of me too. He sounds so... upset and disappointed in you? Lol

25: Most badass moment in a TES game

The ending to ESO’s main quest was a rly big power fantasy moment for me.

Also more mundane, but I felt really cool and powerful when I got to the point in Morrowind where I could one shot kill cliff racers lol

26: Saddest experience in a TES game

The ESO side quest, “The Soul-Meld Mage” in Coldharbour. After that one, I had to step away for a bit.... man. It hurt my heart and I still feel so bad. That was a case in the game where I really felt impacted by how cruel and awful Molag Bal is. Like I *knew* but that quest played with my emotions and made it personal.

27: Favorite area/region

Valenwood from ESO. I spend all my time there, and sometimes go to Summerset or Vvardenfell lol.

28: Least favorite character

Vivec.

Also don’t like Maven-Black Briar. :I

29: In-game food item you want to eat the most

Sweetroll! 

Also this one recipe for a beef dish I found in Valenwood sounded good.  Maybe also the Sunrise Souffle mentioned in Skyrim?

30: If you could try skooma, would you?

No. Don’t do drugs, kids.

31: If you had the skills and resources to do a perfect cosplay of any TES character who would it be?

Probs Serana

32: Have you read any of the novels?

No, but I’ve been thinking about it!

33: Favorite class to play

Thief, or a thief-similar class like agent or rogue.

34: Which type of magic would you most like using?

Alteration seems the most useful for everyday life lol. But illusion would be fun.

35: Favorite weapon

I use bows all the time!

36: Favorite spell

Levitate from Morrowind - it’s so much fun to use!

37: Favorite artifact

Nerevar’s Moon-And-Star Ring. It’s cute lol and I like the lore behind it!

Also enjoy the Wabbajack because of how silly it is, and Dibella’s Brush of Truepaint.

38: You have awakened to find you’re in Tamriel. How do you react?

Because yeah I love TES but also the world of it is scary with gods and monsters constantly trying to kill you lol

39: Thoughts on ESO so far

I really enjoy the world and writing! But I’m still cranky over some moments where it’s an MMO and not a normal TES game :I

I also hate that we can’t have NPC companions.  You really gonna give me a clockwork nix-hound named Snuffler and not let me travel with him? For shame.

40: Character you’d most like to hang out with

Nerevar, because I’m very awkward and shy and bad at peopleing and I would hope he could teach me how to improve lol.

But to actually hang out and chill, Marcurio would be pretty fun lol

[cancerianprincess]

Birkin Bag (2)

|Part One|

Summary: Erik finds out he might’ve rubbed off on his best friend a tad too much and that she’s really with the shits

Warning: Language, Angst, Kidnap Mention(s), Mild Violence

Quick A/N: Didn’t plan on doing an OC, but still wanted ‘Reader’ to have a name, so you are Aniya, Aniya is you, & that’s “Y/N” for the series. That cool? Everybody got it? Aight bet 🙂👍🏾

~~~~

“I bought my bitch a Birkin Bag so she could hold my fucking strap..”

____

“It’s been two days now, can’t we just kill him already?”

“No, stupid! Do you want to start an international incident?”

Erik could only roll his eyes at the bickering taking place in front of him. They couldn’t have possibly been professionals, because professionals never discussed business around their captive, or argue, to put it more accurately. Still, they weren’t totally inexperienced either, and that’s probably what pissed him off the most about this situation.

“Man whatever, I’m tired of this ‘being patient’ shit.”

“Well that’s what yo’ ass get for giving him the wrong injection! Ain’t nobody fault but yours he was out for a day and a half, we coulda been got somewhere with the operation.”

Him of all people, Erik ‘Killmonger’ Stevens, Prince N’Jadaka of Wakanda, had been taken down in his own home. And even if it was late when he got home from the range with Aniya, he still should’ve sensed them from a mile away. Though he couldn’t be too hard on himself, because thanks to the big, burly, Harambe looking nigga in the corner, he had given him a run for his money in that fight. That dude was damn near bigger than M’Baku!

“Fuck the plan, I’m bout to just shoot this nigga right now.”

“Tee, put the gun away. What part of ‘no’ don’t you understand?”

Nevertheless, now wasn’t the time to think about that. Before the vaguely familiar woman could put a cap is his ass, Erik needed to concentrate on how to escape without breaking the promise to his aunt and cousins that he’d never go on another psychotic murderous rampage ever again.

“Please? Just one to the shoulder, that’s all I’m asking.” But Harambe wouldn’t give in to the whining.

“You heard what the man said, we gotta wait til she notices he’s really missing.”

His brain had been multitasking the entire time, dually focused on both the conversation and breaking free of his restraints, but when the word ‘she’ hit Erik’s ears, he only had to ponder for half a minute until it registered. There was only one female he was tight with that would think to immediately come to his aid in circumstances such as these.

‘It’s a trap.’

Alarm rapidly grew in the pit of Erik’s stomach, but he refused to let it show. He wasn’t sure how to make it happen, but if there was any chance to prevent Aniya from getting hurt, he would have to play it cool in trying to get the two captors to accidentally disclose pieces of their strategy to him.

“Aye...Aye!”

They turned around at his second shout, realizing that Erik was actually speaking to them now.

“Look, Jay, he’s finally talking to us,” the girl cooed, pretending to be honored. Her partner whipped to peer at her with a hint of panic. “How the hell you gon’ just throw my name out there like that, Tracee?”

She simply scoffed. “Bruh, you literally did the same thing to me, like just then.”

“And?” Jay shot back. “He been awake for a good minute now. Ain’t no telling what he already done heard.”

“Exactly. So stop bitching, aight? He gone be dead soon anywa-”

Erik cut into their dispute with an intentionally exaggerated laugh, which gave him precisely what he wanted.

“Yo, y’all funny,” he joked, drinking in their irritation expressions. Time to follow his asshole side with the playboy act. “Listen, y’all two real cute and allat, but say shawty, why don’t leave ol’ Magilla Gorilla over there alone and come talk to a real man?”

Tracee’s face fell blank for a second or two before brandishing a wicked grin that was semi-genuine. She retrieved something from the table they were working at and began stalking her way over to the chair Erik was strapped to.

“Yeah, gone head and cut me out these ropes, ma.”

He didn’t really except her to comply that easily, but if she got close enough, one good head butt would do the trick. All he’d have to then was get loose, grab the gun from her hip, and tag Big Boy one good time so he could dip.

But unfortunately for Erik, the woman advancing on him wasn’t about to let that happen in the slightest. Tracee knew if anything could weaken her prey, it was the file she held in her hand. Which is precisely why she threw it open in Erik’s lap after drawing her weapon, placing it to his temple. She nudged him with the barrel, silently prompting him to take a look at it.

“You know if I were you, I’d shut my mouth and open my eyes instead,” she purred. “Save as much energy as possible.”

Erik bore his daggers at her for another moment, but reluctantly did as he was told and inspected the image lying on the very top of the pile of paper.

“Because that smooth talking ain’t gonna get you far with me,” Tracee continued, her voice growing darker with each word she spoke. “Unlike it did with my sister, sadly.”

That’s when any sort of guard Erik had up began crumbling away.

He thought he recognized the crazy bitch towering over him, and when his gaze fell on the name at the top of the folder, he knew exactly how he knew her. Through clenched teeth Erik asked her, “‘The fuck is this?” His voice was low but the bass in it caused his barely audible question to be heard. Tracee responded with malicious snickering rather than an actual answer as she backed away from him slowly. Erik repeated himself again, only this time he roared it, finally tearing away from the black and white photo that was now burned into his memory.

Still the woman said nothing, merely flickered her eyes to a spot behind Erik to glance at the source that would rebuttal in her place.

“Don’t ask questions you don’t wanna know the answers to, homie.”

It was a third voice that Erik had yet to hear since waking up in the foreign location, but before he was even able to identify it the third stranger struck him with something blunt, delivering a hard blow that knocked Erik out cold.

********

You felt something was up by the third day. Erik never missed a chance to taste your mom’s cooking, except for the rare cases when he was otherwise occupied. Even in those instances, he would always ask you to snag him a to-go plate to retrieve later on. So when he never showed up for dinner that Sunday afternoon without a heads up, it had been icing on the cake.

Granted, it wasn’t like the two of you constantly stayed up each other’s asses and talked every single day, but 72 hours of complete radio silence? No texts, no call, no stupid Snapchat, absolutely nothing. There hadn’t even been one single funny tweet sent to your DM’s and it just didn’t seem right. Plus, Erik’s fatass never turned down some good soul food, so after lumping two and two together, your better judgement was done taking the back seat. Something was definitely wrong.

“Your boyfriend not coming for dinner today, Aniya?”

“He’s not my boyfriend, Ma,” you said, rolling your eyes at her obvious teasing. She merely smirked, thinking otherwise by how frequently you were checking your phone. You fed her the first sensible excuse that came to mind as an attempt to downplay it.

“The center has some kind of conference or something coming up, so they probably had Erik on call for the prep work. But because you’re so worried about him, I’ll go fix him a plate since he’s your ‘favorite child.’”

That had been several hours ago, the recent memory playing back of you ambling into the kitchen to mask your jittering leg. Now you were hurrying towards Erik’s front door, having practically sped over to his apartment the minute you reached your car. But after making the walk from the elevator, your hand stopped short of knocking, eyes alert once spotting that the door was already hanging open slightly. You inched it open a little further, tapping twice with your knuckles just in case anyone was still inside.

“Erik,” you called out. “Yo, you in here?”

No answer came so you proceeded to investigate with caution, but instantly felt a wave of queasiness bud in your stomach due to what you saw next.

Nearly everything in the main room of the two-bedroom had been trashed. The couch was slanted at an odd angle, no longer in its designated place, while both armchairs had been overturned on their sides. Shards of what used to be the glass coffee table laid scattered across the living room floor along with all the items it once held. There was even a rather large hole in the wall closest to the hallway. All clear signs that there’d been a struggle or fight of some kind.

As soon as shock loosened its grip on your body, panic took over and sent you searching through each section of the apartment, yelling for Erik the whole way. Your feet raced from room to room, your mind going twice as fast trying to piece together what could’ve possibly happened. None of them appeared to have been damaged; the kitchen, bathroom, home office, and Erik’s room all remained untouched, but unfortunately empty as well.

Returning to the starting point of your search, anxiety continued to flow through you as you placed your hands on your head, thoughts bouncing around like rapid fire.

“Who would attack Erik? And in his own house, at that? I mean, sure he’s done his fair share of wrong, but he’s been making up for it all since coming back from his first trip to Wakanda,” you thought.

No matter who was behind this or why, you knew you had to track them down quick before Erik relapsed back into his old ways, or worse. The list of enemies was potentially endless, with the outreach center opening and newest addition to the United Nations and all, but you figured you had to start somewhere. Right as you reached for your phone, racking your brain on where to even begin, it went off in your pocket. In fact, it buzzed continuously, signaling more than one new notification:

Unknown (3)

At first you raised a puzzled eyebrow at the screen, but given the circumstances decided to click on the messages rather swiping them away. When it opened the first thing you saw was a shared location, leaving you even more confused than just a few seconds ago. But when your gaze drifted up to the bubbles above it, confusion quickly evolved back into panic.

‘If you want your boyfriend back be at the old Stokely Warehouse by midnight. Come alone.’

The next one was even more grim than the first.

‘No cops or we put a bullet in his skull.’

You blinked at your phone several times, gradually letting your mind wrap around the seemingly unreal situation that was now at hand. You had to have been staring at it for a good bit, because you only zoned back into reality long after the device’s screen had went black.

And that’s when it all hit you like a ton of bricks.

Erik had really been taken by some mysterious ass goons.

Who had evidently been tracking his whereabouts.

Or the movements of the apartment at the very least. That had to be it, for it was the only way they could’ve known to send you the demand right then and there. And now they wanted you of all people to be the one to go and retrieve him.

But that was the question, though: why you? If it was money these people were after, you certainly didn’t have it. They should’ve hit up the Wakandan council for that; it wasn’t necessarily a secret anymore regarding their wealth, or Erik’s true identity, so demanding ransom from them would have made more sense.

None of that mattered now, though, because the bottom line was that your best friend was in danger. You registered the fact that Erik’s specific skill set would probably kick in and he’d off every last one of those dumbass bums, but instantly remembered that he was on a different path now. You were so proud of him for attempting to overcome all the traumas of his past and trying to shy away from the ‘Killmonger’ persona, and now who knew if this would trigger a setback for him? Just thinking about either dilemma and its following outcome was enough to launch your anger into overdrive.

You bolted from the loft, dialing a number while backtracking to your car. Starting the engine and reversing from the parking space in record time, you began leaving a voicemail for your boss when she didn’t answer. Not going into specifics, you simply spun a tale about some ‘family emergency’, knowing it would get you at least the next week off. That way, you’d have plenty of time to save your partner in crime and put the bitches in the dirt who’d started all this. Maybe ask questions first, if you felt like it.

But before any of that could happen, you zoomed through the night, shredding back to your place for a swift pit stop inside. Because if you were gonna do this, you would need the bag Erik had brought back for you from Wakanda.

~~~~

*Y’all I’m so sorry 😭😭 I know this one might have been a teeny bit long but it’s just how it ended up flowing but still, thanks as always for reading and sticking with it!! 💋”

|Part Three|

~Taglist~

@iamrheaspeaks @princesskillmonger @eriknutinthispoosy @wheredidallthedreamersgo @sonofnjobu @bidibidibombaclaat @turn-thy-paige @ayellepea @another-imaginesblog @mzbritt @youreadthatright @chaneajoyyy @theunsweetenedtruth @marvelpotterlove

[themagiciansreccenter]

Author Spotlight: @highkingmargooffillory

Every week we are going to be interviewing a writer from The Magicians fandom. If you would like to be interviewed or you want to nominate a writer, get in touch via our ask box.

First things first, tell us a little about yourself.

Hey humans or magical creatures of the internet. I’m Ella but online I guess I go by Margo. I’m an 18 year old university student in the United States (East coast). I dance and speak French fluently. I started watching the magicians after the first season came out on Netflix and heard about the show from a BuzzFeed quiz (crazy right?!). I go by MargoWicker on ao3 and that’s where I post my work. I love creative writing (fanfic) because it is a way to create a diverging story you can control based off of an amazing foundation the show creates.

How long have you been writing for?

I’ve been writing for just over a year for The Magicians (unless we’re counting that random stuff I wrote back in the beginning of high school) and I can’t say I’m all that great. *nervous laughter*

What inspired you to start writing for The Magicians?

I joined a Magicians discord and got inspired by all the lovely talented writers who make up part of the discord channel. I also felt so compelled by the story and what goes on in the show. I think the visuals in particular played a large part of wanting to write based off of that because they are so enamoring. It’s some quality cinnamon topography (cinematography).

Who is/are your favourite character(s) to write? What it is about them that makes them your favourite?

My favorite characters to write are Margo and Julia. I think they interact with their environment in such an interesting way. They're also my favorite characters in the show so I suppose I’m biased. They're also easier for me to write in that I relate to a lot of the aspects of their personalities. I love Margo’s tough bitch exterior and Julia’s intense personality. Also they’re strong women of color. Woo!

Do you have a preference for a particular season/point in time to write about?

Yes. Some weird limbo area where everyone can exist at Brakebills and live their lives for a second. I also like a limbo area of Fillory. Basically, I like a place where my narrative can play out without an ouroboros of ass fucking it up.

Are you working on anything right now? Care to give us an idea about it?

I’m working on a multi-chapter piece with Julia and Margo. It’s angsty yet romantic but I am working on incorporating all the senses into it. Hopefully it'll be out before the end of October. It’s a better version of the fic I referenced in my Five @ Five.

How long is your “to do list”?

Moderately long I suppose because there are a few things I’m still working on and I come up with ideas too often. I also write in spurts and forget that I’m working on things.

What is your favourite fic that you’ve written for The Magicians? Why?

I think my favorite was Good Liquor Gonna Carry Me Down (Julia/Quentin at Brakebills) or Drinking Partners (Margo/Julia finding themselves at Brakebills) because they’re so imagery heavy.

Many writers have a fic that they are passionate about that doesn’t get the reception from the fandom that they hoped for. Do you have a fic you would like more people to read and appreciate?

Either Good Liquor Gonna Carry Me Down (Julia/Quentin) or Golden Slumbers (Julia/Fen) probably because they’re less popular ships. It's kind of funny how I didn’t even write Quilia for my self, but I ended up liking it. Honestly though I’d take any appreciation.

What is your writing process like? Do you have any traditions or superstitions that you like to stick to when you’re writing?

Its pretty ridiculous but I love to prewrite everything and set up the story. I rarely end up with anything mildly of quality if I just go with a stream of consciousness. I don't have many superstitions though or I just haven't noticed them.

Do you write while the seasons are airing or do you prefer to wait for hiatus? How does the ongoing development of the canon influence and inspire your writing process?

I will write during both. I think because I like my fics to be suspended in a time bubble, it seems like canon narrative is less of an issue. That said, I do pull from ongoing canon during the season and I think that comes out in some of my writing. I think I am most heavily influenced from any character development in my writing.

What has been the most challenging fic for you to write?

I wrote one piece of smut called Strawberry Wine and learned that it is (at least for me) surprisingly difficult to write about sex without making it all Fifty Shades (lame) or cliche.

Are there any themes or tropes that you particularly like to explore in your writing?

I think I like hurt/comfort and romance tropes the most. The romance I use most often is femslash just as a personal relatability aspect. I do tend to use at least one party scene in my writing as well as lighting (usually morning light).

Are there any writers that inspire your work? Fanfiction or otherwise?

I’m inspired by the entire body of work from the magicians fandom. There are too many great writers for me to reference them all and if I did I’d be afraid to leave people out. I do have to say I use more visual imagery (like shows or photos from the show) to work off as I am a more visual person.

What are you currently reading? Fanfiction or otherwise?

I am not reading any fic in particular, I just tend to scroll through ao3 and read it all in one go. I have just been reading about economic colonialism for class. Does that count?

I really need to get back into reading books for fun.

What is the most valuable piece of writing advice you’ve ever been given?

Tropes aren’t always a bad thing if used well. Also don’t feel like you need to pander to a certain audience. Write for yourself! (That was a solid 3 pieces haha)

Cringe time:

Are there any words or phrases you worry about over using in your work?

I think I tend to overuse some sentence styles. I gotta work on my phrasing and sentence variety to keep it interesting. Also this isn’t really a word but I feel like I write in passive voice or I’m not that great with picking a good verb tense but who knows.

What was the first fanfic that you wrote? Do you still have access to it?

Dear god this is embarrassing. It's a Wattpad fanfiction that I still have access to, and it’s an angsty Grace Helbig (youtuber) and Chester see (Youtuber) fanfic. The writing isn’t the worst and the topic isn't either, it just IS cringy.

Rapid Fire Round:

Self-edit or Beta? I tend to self-edit (need for speed) but beta is the most helpful.

Comments or Kudos/Reblogs or Likes? I appreciate likes but comments are the nicest to receive.

Smut, Fluff or Angst? To read? Fluff To write? Angst all the way

Quick & Dirty or Slow Burn? I write quick and dirty but I prefer slow burn (I’m working on it)

Favourite season? Season 3. It fucks me up the most

Favourite episode? I hate this question. FIllorian Candidate or Consequences of Advanced Spellcasting but I really love them all.

Favourite book(The Magicians books)? Second, because I love Julia and her background.

Three favourite words? I don’t know.

Want to be interviewed for our author spotlight? Get in touch here.

[bubblet-ea]

something foreign but altogether completely familiar

“the fuck?”

“please?” jimin all but whined, head tucked comfortably atop yoongi’s lap as both sets of fingers moved rapid-fire against his ps4 game controller.

“no,” yoongi’s green humanoid blob managed to shove jimin’s blue twerky thing to go plunging to his doom off a rotating blimp. 

”hah!” taehyung’s screech could be heard through his headset. “team taegi wildin’ out!”

“come on, just one time,” jimin’s eyes remained glued to the tv screen where he adamantly tried to body flop his way over taehyung’s yellow goop man that tried to throw him off again ”hoseok! you fuckin’ suck! you’re supposed to have my back!”

the only response received was a high pitched cackle-scream hybrid that had jimin flinching, probably bursting one of his eardrums as well. hoseok’s little red floppy dude went plummeting to his doom all on his own at the opposite end of the screen far from the melee going on between the other three players.

“yoongi please,” jimin was just that close of chucking his controller at the tv, nostrils flaring with annoyance at how crap he was at this game. “three hours, tops.”

“fuck no,” yoongi effectively managed to nudge both jimin’s and taehyung’s characters off the blimp, sacrificing his own partner with no remorse. (”hey! what the heck!”). “what part of no don’t you understand?”

“but i said please,” jimin finally tossed his controller and waved his metaphoric white flag of surrender. he opted for rolling flat on his back and lifting his gaze to stare up at the underside of yoongi’s chin with the softest puppy pout he could muster. “i thought we were bros.”

“no,” yoongi somehow managed to continue playing with a single hand, freeing the other to produce a swift flick on jimin’s forehead (”ow.”). “i am your elder, and you are a pint-sized peanut stuffed full of teenage gay angst and i don’t know why i put up with you.”

granted, jimin supposed that was true. yoongi was technically two years his senior. but they’d been practically biffles for life since childhood because their dads were fishing buddies. and jimin would rather have every last one of his teeth pulled out with steel pliers than to actually admit, but he picked this university for the sole purpose that it contained one min yoongi.

because.

best bros.

“but i thought you were my fam,” jimin plopped his body like deadweight and stretched his full height across the couch. “my homie for life, piña to my colada, the half to my whole, soy to my latte-”

“you can fuck right off with that.” 

 “and after all i’ve done for you,” jimin swooned, arm tossed over his eyes in a dramatic effect. he snuck a peak to glance up at the pointy end of yoongi’s nose.

the elder’s eyebrow was in serious danger of shooting up and out through the roof. if jimin didn’t know any better, and he liked to think he knew better than most, yoongi’s expression was definitely in danger of being permanently fixed the way it was, what with yoongi’s constant skepticism and no-fucking-nonsense-stick-up-his-ass-you-mess-with-me-i-will-shove-this-lamp-pole-up-your-fucking-dickhole attitude.

“pray tell, what exactly have you done for me?”

“like that one time,” jimin started, straightening out from his maiden’s swoon and poking up at yoongi’s left piercing. “you were thirsting over taehyung hardcore like the dehydrated prune ass bitch you are. and i had to step in and play cupid so you could finally man up the courage to tap dat.”

“damn boiiiii!” hoseok screeched.

“exposed!” taehyung followed. “i know i’m hot shit and all but daaaaang!”

“i will literally set your hair on fire, you oversized carrot top,” yoongi gritted through clenched teeth where jimin caught a muscle twitch. (”you love my glorious orange hair, don’t lie.”)

jimin could truly say that episode had been one helluva fuckin’ ride, an experience. to be honest, yoongi seemed to be hellbent on pretending the entirety of last winter holidays had never happened, it was that embarrassing. in the end, jimin’s efforts had been in vain and yoongi snapped right the fuck out of it when he realized taehyung was not the soft, sweet cotton fluff he thought and a whole lot of nasty, panty dropping extra that could not be contained.

yoongi shot him a brief, tight lipped smile that looked more constipated than anything else.

“it’s true though,” hoseok’s mirth was clearly visible even through the shitty wifi connection. “jimin did do you a solid.”

“the sex was really good though, you gotta admit.”

“first of all, you piece of shit,” yoongi’s game controller went to join jimin’s across the coffee table. “i did not thirst after taehyung-”

“you were so thirsty your skin was flaking,” jimin smirked, shortly before he was shoved off the couch to land in a puddle at yoongi’s feet. “ow, fuck that really hurt.”

“i am the king of gang beasts!” taehyung’s shrill deep voice echoed in jimin’s ears. “all hail king tae! bow, peasants, and kiss my feet!”

“the fucking disrespect,” yoongi’s toe nudge into jimin’s side, making him jerk sideways half under the table. “it was mid winter and i have eczema you snot rag. second of all,” yoongi continued on his tirade and jimin wheezed with laughter. “what you managed to do was set everyone up for fuckin’ centuries of cringeworthy humiliation that is bound to have my descendants curling in misery.”

“you’re so dramatic,” jimin smiled fondly, rolling back out from under the table and sitting himself up. he rested his chin along his arms crossed on the edge of the sofa by yoongi’s knees. “i totally helped you get dat ass. i am the best wingman.”

“you are a fucking nightmare, is what you are,” yoongi deadpanned, ruffling jimin’s already mussed up, pitch black hair.

“i know, but please,” jimin tried again, throwing on his best sulk face and capitalizing on the best asset god bequeathed him with. his plush, pouty lips. “just this one time,” he bat his lashes, just for good measure. “how often do i ask for favors?”

“all the fuckin’ time!”

“like when do you not?”

“did i ask for your opinion?! i think the fuck not!” jimin straightened out like a snapped spring and bellowed into his headset mic. through his peripheral vision, he saw yoongi take of his own headset and slowly rub at his temples.

“why do i put up with all of you,” yoongi let out a long suffering sigh.

“because you lo-”

jimin turned off the tv, remote arm out, cutting hoseok off mid-sentence. yoongi looked at him like he might kiss him. or not. with a shrug, jimin tossed the remote on the carpet by his feet.

“back to the subject,” he licked his lips, settling against the coffee table with his knees drawn to his chest. yoongi let out another heavy sigh, but that didn’t deter jimin. “just one time please. one date,” he attempted the most forlorn look, like stepped on flowers, run over a dog’s tail, cookies got burnt disconsolate. “taemin is gonna be there.”

“how do you even know this,” yoongi sighed. again.

“with jongin.”

jimin pouted extra hard.

“who the fuck is jongin,” yoongi rubbed his temples with his middle and forefinger, as if he was warding off an oncoming migraine. which is nonsense. because jimin is the light of yoongi’s life. he could attest to this.

“who is,” jimin's face crumpled. “who the fuck. jongin!” his arms shot up into the air. “kim jongin! the third year ballet twink with the good ass thighs and facial structure crafted by the gods! dance prodigy jongin!” jimin’s voice escalated with every syllable, in speed, pitch, and volume.

“that kim jongin. the one taemin dumped me for,” jimin was now truly feeling really sad. this was not how he’d anticipated this conversation to go down.

it still hurt. three weeks had passed since the evening that shall not be spoken of. and jimin’s chest still throbbed with an empty longing at the memories of how taemin had broken up with him at their favorite mom-and-pop cafe that had been the center point of almost a year’s worth of happy memories. the sacrilege, how dare?

“i found someone else,” taemin had said.

“well good riddance! ‘cause i was gonna break up with you first!” jimin’s brain to mouth filter completely went on vacation, leaving him with utter regret and despair. but why stop there? “i found someone else too!”

the look of surprise on taemin’s face had almost been worth it.

almost.

now jimin was stuck with empty words and no boyfriend to show for it.

“please,” jimin tried again, clutching at yoongi’s artfully ripped jeans, which was saying something as they were so tight they clung to the elder’s very legs like second skin. “i just gotta prove to him that i do have somebody else and i’m not like desperate-taylor-swift-binge-eating-sobfest-heartbroken.”

“you are heartbroken,” yoongi muttered, pulling off his headset and running a hand through his soft brown hair. “there’s nothing wrong with that. the asshole literally broke your heart. i’m pretty sure that’s the definition of heartbroken.”

“just to prove i have a boyfriend,” jimin could sense victory in the soft sigh leaving yoongi’s lips.

“but you don't.”

“minor detail,” jimin waved a nonchalant hand.

“i’d say that’s a big fucking detail,” yoongi replied gruffly, rubbing his face with his open hand.

“i’ll buy you dinner,” jimin enticed, coming up to his knees and peering up into yoongi’s face.

“it better be a good fucking dinner,” yoongi sighed, finally relenting.

success.

--

“i can't believe i let you talk me into this,” yoongi shook his head, jimin chancing furtive glances over his menu to look for that familiar face.

“just,” jimin finally caught taemin and his new boyfriend at the far side of the cafe, tucked away in a discreet corner booth. “pick something to eat while i do some recon.”

“fucking ridiculous,” yoongi released a long, deep breath but picked up his own menu and began to look through the list of foods. “recon,” yoongi snorted, a crease forming in between jimin’s brows as he tried to subtly, not so subtly, crane his neck as if he could actually catch what the other two were talking about if he stretched far enough.

he didn’t even notice as the waitress stopped by to take their order, squinting as he attempted to lipread what taemin was saying to jongin.

damn, it was hard to see exactly what words were being exchanged from this angle and distance.

but what wasn't too difficult to see, even for jimin from this length of space between, was the brilliant laughter playing on taemin’s lips and the way his eyes curved into that precious moon smile that was jimin’s favorite and had always been reserved for him and him only.

the dull thud in his chest echoed like a bucket dropped all the way to the bottom of an empty well.

he watched, breath held, as taemin pulled the other’s hand and pressed butterfly kisses along every knuckle. something he used to do for jimin too.

it felt as if he’d fallen into that empty well along with the bucket.

it hurt.

like a fucking bitch, it hurt.

he really thought he could do this. but he couldn't. not when taemin looked for all the world like a man completely smitten. and the other person wasn't jimin.

a sharp kick to the shin finally jolted his attention away from the other couple, a startled whine escaping through his parted lips as a bright hot pain traveled up his leg from the point of abuse.

“what the fuck,” jimin’s expression puckered, rubbing at the sore spot on his shin that was very likely to bruise. yoongi’s brow quirked, arms crossed over his chest looking bored as hell while jimin’s world came crashing down around his feet for what was probably the thousandth time since he’d been dumped.

“you’re supposed to be having a good time,” yoongi’s face softened when jimin bit down on his lower lip that had started to quiver. he blinked repeatedly, forcing back the burn that had begun to emerge around the corners of his eyes. it was becoming somewhat hard to breathe.

“do you want me to take you home?” the elder asked gently, and jimin shook his head faintly. “then what do you want to do?” yoongi enquired, head tilted to the side.

inhaling a shaky breath, jimin willed himself to calm. “can you just,” he answered after a moment of silence. “talk. just talk. about anything, i don't care. just please,” jimin didn’t really know what he was begging for. he just needed the pain in his chest to stop.

so yoongi began talking.

he started with a teacher aide in his music comp class that none of the students liked because he was a total pompous bitch. he talked about his latest assignment that was due in a few day’s time, but he’d procrastinated up until now because who fuck care anyways? he commented on the weather, about Pokémon GO, about a new movie that had come out, about the upcoming spring break and how their mothers expected them back home because yoongi’s older brother wanted him to meet his fiancé’s family and how jimin was going to come with him or else he’d die of boredom and the younger owed him a favor after this anyway.

the words flowed freely, and jimin was content to just listen to that deep silken voice wrap him softly like a bandaid over a wound.

he listened and he ate as yoongi talked, gradually forgetting the reason that he was here in the first place and began to actually engage in the conversation.

“do i get a free meal out of it?” jimin tipped his head to the side, popping a french fry in his mouth and licking the bit of ketchup off the end of his middle finger. at that, he thought he caught a near imperceptible dip in the elder’s adam’s apple. but he waved it off as just his imagination.

“freeloader,” a hand leaned over the table to ruffle jimin’s hair before he could swing out of yoongi’s reach.

“knock it off,” jimin huffed, batting the hand away. “and no i’m not.”

“you are soft as fuck,” yoongi laughed at the excitement that lit up jimin’s face. “yes, you’re getting a free meal out of my brother so you’re ass is coming.”

“okay.”

“and you act like you never get a free meal whenever you come banging on my doorstep anyway,” yoongi said in a deadpan tone, sliding his credit card into the check folder the waitress brought over. “you know how much my mom loves you.”

“i can’t wait to play with holly,” jimin hummed with a content smile, sipping on his watered down coke zero.

--

“thanks for, you know,” jimin stared down at his feet, scuffing the point of his right shoe against the concrete. he glanced up to see yoongi shrug, hands tucked away into the pockets of his jeans while they stood outside of jimin’s dorm.

they’d done this a million and trillion times before in the past. but why did jimin feel somewhat nervous?

yoongi was as familiar to him as his own right arm, or his favorite blanket back home.

there was something different though, hanging in the crisp night air between them... something that was never there before.

“thank you for being the best fucking bro in the whole fucking world?” yoongi prompted when he’d paused for long enough, jimin snorting with amusement and retuning somewhat back to planet earth.

“yeah, that,” he conceded, fingers clasped behind his back for lack of anything better to do with them. “thank you.”

something warmed inside jimin’s chest at the soft grin that spread across yoongi’s face, eyes traveling down his side profile as the elder looked up into the starry deep sky above.

when their eyes met again, it was as if jimin hadn’t known yoongi his entire life, since toddlerhood, something foreign yet altogether completely familiar thrumming in his chest.

“’night.”

“good night,” jimin licked his suddenly dry lips. he watched as yoongi turned, breaking into a light jog as he moved back towards his car parked in the no-parking zone with the emergency lights flashing.

what the hell?

--

“i’ve been doing some thinking.”

silence.

“can i ask you something?” 

the only response jimin received was a muted grunt.

“and hear me out, okay? don’t just completely write this off,” jimin continued, staring at yoongi’s back from his current position of lying perpendicular across the elder’s bed, head hanging upside down over the edge.

yoongi didn’t even glance up from the composition project he was working on. the one he’d procrastinated on for weeks now. the one that was due within the next twenty-four hours, holy fucking shit rest in pieces.

“i think we should try kissing a go,” jimin blurted out, body tensed, as he watched for yoongi’s response.

there was the briefest of pause in his constantly moving hand, the soft pen scratches going even quieter still until it had completely stopped.

jimin held his breath, if only to not break the utter silence. the room was so thick with it, he thought he could put a knife right through it and cut a slice straight out of the air.

cricket cricket bitch.

after several minutes had passed, jimin was about to laugh it off as a joke when yoongi finally responded, “don’t be stupid,” and resumed his work once again as if jimin hadn’t said anything at all.

“but i’m being serious,” jimin rolled over onto his front, chin propped up on his clasped fingers and boring holes in the elder’s back between his shoulder blades.

yoongi finally turned, shooting jimin a long, searching look that had him squirming to the very tips of his toes.

without another word, the elder lobbed a crumbled up composition sheet that landed squarely in the center of jimin’s forehead.

“ow what the fuck?!”

--

“i cannot believe,” yoongi exhaled a sigh of resignation, glaring up at the ceiling flashing technicolor strobe lights as if it had done him some personal great injustice.

“is that jongin over there? can y’see him? i can’t tell if it’s him or not,” jimin was just this close to overbalancing and tipping over the barstool with how far he was stretching his neck to catch a glance of the familiar looking couple dancing amongst the drunken crowd.

he’d lost count of how many shots of tito’s he’d downed in the past few hours they’d been camped out at the congested bar. jimin was a man on a mission. and yoongi’s palm was warm against the small of his back, propped there to prevent his fall, made all the warmer by the inebriating flush that spread across his cheeks.

nibbling on his parched lips, jimin leaned even further out to squint at the blond haired man that looked kind of like taemin and kind of didn’t, only breaking his stare when taehyung dipped by to pass him another shot of something or other.

“drink bitch!”

“i think not,” yoongi swooped in before jimin could reach to intercept the small glass rimmed with salt.

“ooh tequila?” jimin pivoted on the stool without warning, nearly knocking the drink out of yoongi’s hand and quite suddenly placing the elder to stand in between his legs. 

“but i have limes!” taehyung’s boxy smile stretched so wide, jimin couldn’t help but grin back as he tried to grab the shot.

“i think you’ve had enough,” yoongi stretched his arm away from jimin’s circumference of reach.

“but i have limes!” taehyung repeated as if that tidbit of fact made it even more important. and quite frankly, jimin couldn't help but agree.

“give it,” he pouted, one hand grasping onto yoongi’s shoulder and the other reaching out making grabby hands at the glass.

“why you gotta cock block?” taehyung whined, having already downed his own and cramming the lime wedge into his mouth.

“no,” yoongi said in a no-nonsense tone that should've brooked no argument.

but jimin was buzzed and had no shits to give at the moment, completely forgetting that his best bro for life had promised to please, please, please play designated let’s-not-let-jimin-do-anything-utterly-stupid-whilst-in-his-intoxicated-state.

however, that was besides the point.

what was the point again?

instead, jimin opted for wrapping his legs around yoongi’s waist to bring him even closer, extending his wiggling arm to the best of its somewhat stunted abilities to reach, reach, reach...

oh.

“shit!”

“ow.”

“y’okay?”

the stool ended up tipping over, both of them landing in a puddle of confused limbs and pained grunts. but jimin’s fall had been miraculously cushioned by yoongi’s chest, the elder having fallen flat on his back against what jimin could only imagine was the disgustingly alcohol-sticky tiled floor. gross.

yoongi groaned, his voice barely audible over the pounding bass intermixed with taehyung’s loud shrieking.

“hey,” jimin rested his chin on yoongi’s chest, his already muddled brain just a tiny bit overwhelmed by the stale and bitter scent of beer that lingered on the other’s lips. “you’re kinda cute, how did i never notice before.” 

yoongi snorted, groaned, jimin couldn't tell which.

“i’m gonna kiss you,” jimin said before his consciousness could actually catch up with his brain. “y’know, not because we’re best bros or anything, but like because you’re kinda cute right now and i’m kinda drunk and i couldn't think about anything but this for the past few days since-”

“just fucking shut up,” yoongi leaned up and pressed his lips onto jimin’s. 

it tasted bitter, but it was warm and soft. and it tasted like something foreign but altogether completely familiar, like a promise of the past and present and future.

it tasted like home.

“literally you are such a piece of shit,” yoongi smiled fondly when they finally came up for air.

yup, definitely felt like home.

[everlarkbirthdaydrabbles]

My birthday is April 28th. I don't maintain a blog on Tumblr though. I created an account just to follow the fabulous fellow Everlarkers here. If you can, I will take anything I can get but if possible, some smut please. *bambi eyes*

Happy birthday! Here is a little something special cooked up just for you by @katnissdoesnotfollowback. Have a wonderful day and enjoy the read!

Have Your Cake and Eat It Too

Happiest of birthdays toyou! I hope you enjoy what I’ve cooked up for you and it adds to to yourcelebration. Thanks to @peetabreadgirl for prereading this sucker.  

TWENTY-FIVE

“I’m gonna be late. Please tell me you made somehot water for tea this morning,” Peeta says to his brother as he rushes intothe kitchen and tosses his bag on the counter.

“Gotta move faster, old man,” Ryen teases, butlowers his newspaper enough to point to the kettle sitting on a siliconetrivet.

“You’re two years older than me,” Peetagrumbles, not bothering to look at what he is sure is a self-satisfied smirk onhis brother’s face, choosing instead to focus on pouring the water into histravel mug and dropping in a tea bag to steep.

“Yes, but nothing good happens aftertwenty-five. They expect you to be an adult after twenty-five. For real,” Ryencomplains and Peeta curses as the hot liquid splashes over the edges onto hishand when he moves it a little too forcefully towards the spot where he leftthe lid.

“Graham would disagree,” he mutterssarcastically as he shakes the tea droplets off his hand and wipes the residueon a towel. His skin stings, but he doesn’t have time to deal with it.

“Graham is an idiot,” Ryen returns, but hedoesn’t say the rest of what they’re both thinking.

Their oldest brother is currently racked out ontheir couch, having crashed there and made himself at home a month ago when hiswife filed for divorce and their parents insisted that Peeta and Ryen needed to‘take care of their poor, stressed out brother in his time of need.’ Grahamhasn’t budged to find himself a new place since, choosing instead to revert tohis bachelor lifestyle and mooching off his two younger, single brothers.

But lately, in addition to the aggravation oftheir parents’ coddling of him, he’s been driving both Ryen and Peeta insane bydispensing what he calls ‘pearls of wisdom,’ which is basically theirbrother’s idea of life advice, but they both know it’s really Graham’s way offeeling better about himself…by making them feel inferior about their lives.For Ryen, it’s the promotion he didn’t get – and didn’t want because it meantmoving to another city. For Peeta, it’s the fact that for the past two years,he hasn’t had a steady girlfriend – and hasn’t wanted one since every datehe’s been on in that time has felt like a betrayal.

“Since he’s so deep in divorce attorney billsthat he apparently can’t even spare a twenty for a birthday present, he’sdetermined to get you laid tonight,” Ryen warns, making Peeta jump and bang theback of his head on the fridge. He winces and sighs when he sees that they’reout of milk. Slams the fridge shut to glare at his brother.

“His idea, not mine,” Ryen insists, holding hishands up in what’s meant to be an innocent gesture.

“You expect me to believe you didn’t have a handin that suggestion? Right. Well, tell him that I’m not interested,” Peeta saysand slings his bag over his shoulder, grabbing his tea and his blazer, andrushing out the front door, thumb entering a reminder into his phone to pick upmilk and a few other essentials they’ve run out of on his way home from work.He’ll have to stop by the school’s cafeteria to get some milk for his tea, andput himself even further behind schedule. His lunch break will simply need tobe sacrificed to finish grading papers for his afternoon classes.

“Tell him yourself, old man. And have a niceday, Dipshit!”

“You too, Asshole,” Peeta shouts over hisshoulder and then comes up short at the sight waiting for him out on theirdriveway. His best friend, leaning against his car door with a brown paper sackin her hands, her car parked out on the street. His lips automatically curve upin a smile that she returns.

“Happy Birthday, Peeta,” Katniss says as sheshoves herself off his car and steps aside so he can toss his things inside.

“It is now,” he replies, missing the slightflush that spreads across her cheeks while his head is in his car and hisattention on getting his tea into the cup holder without spilling more andburning himself again.

When he stands upright to focus on Katniss, shebrushes some lint off his shoulder and he tucks his hands in his pockets so hedoesn’t do something stupid like haul her against his chest and kiss hersenseless.

“Any big plans for tonight, birthday boy?” sheasks, oblivious to what her melodic voice and words do to him. Usually theywould’ve made plans by now, but they’ve both been so busy at work, they haven’thad a chance to talk about it in more than a general capacity.

“Avoiding my brothers’ schemes to spice up mylife,” he says and Katniss laughs. “Care to help me with that?”

“Sure,” she says and reaches out to straightenhis tie and ruffle his hair a little. He’s not sure what was wrong with itbefore, but Katniss seems satisfied with his appearance now, and that’s goodenough for him. “Netflix and dinner? I know it’s not exciting…”

“Sounds great,” he says with a smile, alreadyrelaxed at the idea of spending his birthday lounging on the couch with hisclosest friend.

“Since it is your birthday, I’ll cook.Johanna has a date tonight, though, so I suggest your place,” she admits with aquirk of her lips and Peeta has to smother a laugh.

The last time they hung out at her place,Katniss’ roommate had brought home a date and gave the pornography industry arun for its money in the erotic noises department. Katniss had been soembarrassed until Peeta suggested they head up the street to MidnightMilkshakes, an ice cream place that stays open until well into the early hoursof morning. They’d both been exhausted at work the next day, but it’d beenworth it to spend the time talking and laughing with her over a shared caramelapple milkshake.

“I’ll get rid of my obnoxious brothers. Sixo’clock alright?” he asks and Katniss nods, shoving the brown sack at hischest. “What’s this?”

“Breakfast,” she says and he smiles as he peeksinside to find one of his favorites from his family’s bakery, a savorycroissant wrapped around a slice of ham, some cheese, and eggs. When he looksup to thank her, her mouth bumps into his. He freezes. His heart thuds wildlyin his chest as she pulls back, too soon for his brain to register anything importantlike texture or taste or reality. Her cheeks flush bright red and she looksaway from him faster than the kiss lasted.

“Um, so, yeah. See you tonight, Peeta,” shemumbles as she practically sprints to her car.

He waits until she’s turned the corner before hedrops heavily into his driver seat. His brain makes no note of the drive towork, too occupied playing the moment over and over in his head, trying to makesense of why Katniss kissed him. Of what makes today so different from anyother day they’ve spent together, and desperately trying to not get his hopesup. She didn’t look too excited about kissing him, after all. She basically ranfor the hills as soon as it was over.

“Ah, fuck. Stupid, stupid stupid,” he mutters tohimself, thumping his head onto his steering wheel after he’s parked in theteacher’s lot and the truth punches him in the gut. She was aiming for hischeek. Of course she was aiming for his cheek. That would make sense,since she’s kissed him there before, but Peeta lifted his head at the wrongmoment and instead accidentally forced her to kiss him on the mouth. No wondershe was so embarrassed.

With a heavy sigh, he shoves himself from hiscar and grabs his things. Now he’s going to have to figure out how to apologizefor the faux pas of kissing his best friend in front of his house, withoutletting on that he’s madly in love with her.

Happy Birthday, indeed.

**************************

TWENTY-ONE

‘Just let these little leaves fall off yourbrush. All kinds of little things happy. And go out sometime in the woods andstudy trees. Talk to trees. Whatever it takes. The tree needs to be your friendif you’re going to paint him.’

“Hey,” a smoky female voice says in his rightear, making him jump and tug out the earbud from his left. “As much as I enjoywatching you paint along with Bob Ross, you might want to pay attention. She’sabout to tell us what’s gonna be on the test on Friday.”

Peeta doesn’t turn around because Professor Coinis inspecting the rows of students, steely eyes looking out for anyone notpaying attention or talking. He ducks his head, pauses his video, and switcheswindows on his laptop before typing madly for a second or two. When Coin turnsher back on the class again, he angles his head enough to mutter over hisshoulder at his thoughtful neighbor. “Thanks.”

“No problem. Paint me the cabin by the lake nextlecture and we’ll call it even,” she says and he can hear the jaded smile inher voice. He wonders what she looks like, but Coin’s throwing rapid fireterminology and concepts at them to review so he remains facing forward.

He hates this class, and he rarely ever hateshis classes, but economics is just so boring. There’s no life to it andhe took up painting in a drawing app in one window while Bob Ross’s sonorousvoice calmly talks about happy trees and other far less stressful things inanother window to get him through the hours of drudgery. Still, he didn’t wantto be called out as a slacker, so he was always careful to only use one earbudso half his brain could pretend to focus on the lecture.

As the list of material to be covered on thetest lengthens, he keeps stealing looks at the clock in the bottom right cornerof his screen, counting down the minutes until he can finally talk to the girlbehind him. His curiosity is piqued and he wonders if she’s been watching himpaint for the past two months. It should bother him, having someone look overhis shoulder like that, but if it’s gotten her through the dull lectures too,he can’t be sorry about it.

He wracks his memory for an image of her, but healways gets to this class a little early since that’s the way the bus schedulesworked out, comes in through doors that enter the massive lecture hall from theupper level and walks down the stairs to his seat, and then doesn’t really lookbehind him during the class. He’s certain he’d remember if someone was sittingright behind him when he arrives, so she must get to this class after him.

Finally, Coin wraps things up and Peeta twistsaround in his seat to catch her before she leaves, she’s bent over her bookbag, stuffing her textbook and a binder into it, her dark hair in a braid, partiallyobscuring her face from him.

“Hey, thanks again,” he says, catching herattention as she sits up and looks at him with pewter gray eyes. A distantmemory sends bells ringing in his head, but he extends his hand to her anyways.“I’m Peeta.”

“Katniss,” she says, but makes no move to shakehis hand.

“Katniss Everdeen?” he asks and hopes his voiceisn’t as squeaky and stunned as it sounds in his head. Her eyes narrow a littleand he shakes his head, clearing the fog that seems to be obscuring his abilityto think. “We went to Panem Twelfth District Elementary together. I’m PeetaMellark? Dad owned the bakery?”

“Oh. Yeah,” she says, and he’s not convincedthat she remembers him. Why would she? She didn’t even know he was alive backthen, but he had the biggest crush on her until the mines closed when they wereeleven and her family had to move away because her father had found a jobacross the country.

“Okay, well, um, thanks. For the warning aboutthe test. Again,” he says and wipes his palm on his shirt for something to dowith his hand, which she still hasn’t touched.

He turns back around, a little humiliated andcloses his laptop before sliding it into his bag. Ten years later and he stillcan’t even manage a passable conversation with Katniss Everdeen. Pathetic. Sohe’s more than a little surprised when he stands with his things and she’sstill there, watching him.

“You used to bring in cupcakes for the wholeclass around the first day of spring every year,” she says, startling him thatshe’d remember that.

“Yeah. I did. March 20th. It’s um, my birthday,”he says and shrugs, because that also happens to be today. It’s always kind ofsucked anyways so he figures what harm can come of him telling his childhoodcrush what today is.

“Then Happy Birthday, Peeta,” she says with asmall smile that sends his pulse skittering for a second. “Any big plans forthe night?”

Wait. What? Isshe flirting with him?

He’s not sure what to make of this unexpecteddevelopment and takes a second to find his bearings in this unknown territory.“Nothing special. My brothers are taking me out for my first legal drink,because what the world really needs is one more obnoxiously drunk guy in abar.”

She laughs. She actually laughs at somethinghe’s said, the sound musical and beautiful. He’s heady with it and that surelyis the reason he keeps speaking like the idiot he is.

“You wouldn’t want to come celebrate with us,would you? You could bring a few friends with you, if you like.”

Katniss examines him for a moment, chewing onthe corner of her bottom lip in the most adorable way.

“I don’t know. Maybe. I’ll have to see what myroommate has planned for the night,” she says, but she asks for the name of thebar just in case.

Despite his brothers’ encouragement later thatnight, he manages to nurse his drinks and keep his head. Should Katniss showup, he doesn’t want to be wasted. As the night wears on with no sign of her,though, Peeta mentally berates himself for getting his hopes up. Eventually, hisbrothers drink themselves deep enough that Peeta knows he needs to get themhome before they do something dumb, like get themselves arrested.

He approaches the door, with both brothershanging off his shoulders, and of course, that’s when she walks in with a groupof friends. For a moment, he watches her twirl the end of her braid around onefinger and scan the crowds. When she sees him, she drops her braid to wave, andhe shrugs, giving his brothers annoyed looks. She seems to understand, becauseher friends say something to her and instead of stopping to talk with him, sheheads straight for the bar with one last shy wave of her hand.

So much for that.

But on Friday, when they’re packing up aftertheir economics test, and he’s more confident than usual about how he did, sheleans over his shoulder to whisper a reminder in his ear that he owes her acabin by the lake. He smiles, still facing forward so she can’t see his goofyexpression, and makes sure to have the video queued up at the start of Monday’sclass.

************************

TWENTY-FIVE

It isn’t until his third period class is filingout the door on their way to their next class that he manages to fire off atext message to Katniss. Part of that is because he’s been debating about howto handle the accidental kiss. Eventually, he settles for acting like it didn’thappen, just to test the waters, see how she’s feeling, before he brings it up.

P: Thanks for the breakfast this morning. It wasdelicious.

K: Anytime. I figured you’d be running lateafter I kept you up last night with my venting.

P: Did talking it out help you sleep better atleast?

He feels a little guilty for waiting until nowto ask her how she slept last night after they spent hours on the phonediscussing a research grant she applied for and was having second thoughtsabout taking, since she’d be working for a colleague she’s butted heads withalready. It’d be good for her career, but Katniss is worried that the stresswon’t be worth the rewards. Here he’s been tied in knots over an accidentalkiss that he’s probably overanalyzing while she’s dealing with life alteringdecisions.

K: Sort of.

Peeta’s brow wrinkles at that. Usually she tellshim that his empathy when she unloads her problems on him and his calm voice asthey talk her through to a solution are exactly what she needed to help herrelax and lull her into peaceful slumber. He worries that maybe he wasn’t thefriend she needed last night, although he’s got no idea what he could’ve saidor done wrong. Since their friendship is the most important thing in the worldto him, he needs to be sure he didn’t give her a half-assed effort or saysomething bone-headed last night.

P: Am I losing my touch? ;-)

The first few students of his fourth periodclass wander into the room and he tucks his phone back into his pocket, even asit buzzes with a new message, to focus on greeting them. Katniss knows hisschedule; she’ll understand if he doesn’t respond for the next fifty minutes orso.

Pushing his rolled up sleeves a little furtherup his arms, he smiles at his class and gets back to work, shoving thoughts ofKatniss and worries about that not-a-real-kiss to the back of his mind. Itworks until his lunch break, when he takes a look at the text message she sentback to him.

K: Actually, it’s the opposite

What the hell does that mean?! He’s on the vergeof being a wreck for the rest of the day, and it’s a good thing he’s busybecause otherwise he’d fire something back, demanding an explanation. At theend of the day, he settles on something simple, deciding that this is aconversation to be had in person rather than over text where inflection andnonverbal cues can be lost or misinterpreted.

P: Are we still on for tonight?

K: See you at six

Relief and dread mingle in his middle as heleaves the school and heads for the grocery store with his short list. Reliefthat the last text from her sounded more like she’s acting like herself again,dread that they still haven’t even mentioned what happened this morning.

************************

TWENTY-TWO

Someone is pounding on his door, and all hereally wants to do is tell them to fuck off, but immediate guilt at theunkind thought sweeps through him and he opens the door.

“You’re taking me out for milkshakes, birthdayboy,” Katniss says, charging him and shoving him back in the apartment andtowards his room.

“Katniss, I–”

“No excuses. It’s your birthday, and while yourmother might be a complete bitch and an incompetent parent, I forbid you tomope.”

“It’s raining,” he says, tugging nervously onhis ratty t-shirt. She crosses her arms and scowls at him. With a sigh, heducks inside his bedroom and changes into jeans and a nice shirt. One with acollar and no holes in it, shoves his arms into the sleeves of his jacket andlifts one eyebrow at her, requesting her approval.

“Better,” she says with a perfunctory nod andopens the door before marching out like she’s royalty.

By the time they reach the new dessert parlor,Midnight Milkshakes, they’re both drenched and decide they want hot chocolateinstead. She gets marshmallows on hers while he asks for whipped cream andcinnamon. When they take their seats, she surprises him by sitting next to himin the booth instead of across from him.

He laughs lightly when she snuggles into hisside and drapes his arm around her, nearly making him spill his drink. She mustbe cold, but he’s not about to make her stop what she’s doing and rubs his handup and down her arm to work some warmth back into her.

“See?” she asks as he takes his first sip ofcocoa. “This is much better than a cruise in the Caribbean, right?”

There’s still a tiny part of him that’s angrywith his mother for taking a cruise over his birthday with her new husband, andhurt over his mother’s roll of the eyes and exasperated sigh when he brought itup. ‘You’re twenty-two, Peeta. You don’t need birthday parties anymore.’No, he doesn’t, but those cruises leave every few weeks. She could’ve picked adifferent date. Plus, he’d still like it if someone at least tried tomake the day special for him. Like Katniss is doing right now.

Sometimes, he still can’t believe the stroke ofluck that placed them at the same university, in the same economics class. Orthat led her to sit behind him the first day of class and find herself absorbedin his digital paintings. She’s his best friend and the one person he canalways count on, so he ignores the flip that his stomach does when she smilesup at him, moaning in delight at her cocoa. Again when they’re curled up on hiscouch beneath a blanket, Katniss in a pair of his borrowed sweats because theirclothes got further drenched in the rain on their way back here. And again whenshe yawns and rubs her cheek against his shirt.

“Keep talking, Peeta,” she urges him, her voicedrowsy with pending sleep. “Your voice is soothing.”

He’s not sure what he talks about, but when sheslips into slumber with a faint smile on her face, he wraps his arms around herand smiles himself, content with the way his birthday turned out. When he wakeswith Katniss still curled in his embrace, he sighs and decides the aches in hisneck and lower back from sleeping propped up on the couch like this are totallyworth it.

************************

TWENTY-FIVE

“So here’s the plan–”

“No,” Peeta cuts Graham off before his brothercan even get started. “Whatever crazy idea you’ve got in your head, expunge itright now.”

“Oh he’s using the AP English words. That’s howyou know you’re losing this fight, right, Graham?” Ryen laughs as he loosens histie and takes the milk from Peeta to put in the fridge and grabs three beers,passing one to each of his brothers.

“You got a better plan?” Graham asks as hetwists the cap off his beer and chucks it across the room into the trash can.

“Yeah,” Peeta says after taking a sip of his ownbeer. “You two get lost so I can actually have a pleasant birthday spent withmy best friend.”

“Oh christ,” Graham mutters and Ryen shakes hishead.

“What?” Peeta asks indignantly.

“You’re spending your twenty-fifth birthday withher?” Graham asks, sounding highly offended.

“Of course I am!”

“That’s a terrible decision,” Graham mutters andPeeta’s the one offended now.

“He’s right, Peeta,” Ryen says and they bothstare at him. “Well he is!”

“Thank you,” Graham says smugly.

“Don’t think so highly of yourself. I’m sayingthis for Peeta, not because I think your broke and almost divorced ass shouldever be listened to. Peeta, listen to me. Go fuck someone. Seriously. Maybethen you’ll get over this unrequited love you’ve been harboring for Katniss foryears.”

“Excuse me for wanting to spend my birthday withsomeone I actually like being around rather than some horny stranger you twodig up out of a misguided sense of taking care of me,” Peeta says and moves tofinish putting the groceries away. “And since it is my birthday, I suggest youtwo finish your drinks and get lost. She’ll be here any minute now.”

“Fine, fine, but only because it’s yourbirthday,” Ryen concedes, dragging a protesting Graham towards the living room.“Come on, ya bum, let’s go see if you’ve actually got decent bar hoppingclothes before we raid my closet.”

“Just pick up the living room before you go,will ya?” Peeta shouts after them.

“Just kiss her already, will ya?” Ryen returnsand Peeta’s cheeks burn with the humiliating reminder that he kind of alreadydid. And it was nothing like the first kiss he’s imagined a hundred thousandtimes.

Thankfully, though, his brother’s are busygetting ready to go by the time Katniss shows up with a bag of groceries in herhands and unable to humiliate him in front of her.

************************

TWENTY-THREE

He opens Skype ten minutes early, plugs in hislaptop and sets it to never sleep when plugged in. Just to be sure. Then hewalks away from his computer, certain that he won’t be hearing from her, eventhough she was very specific in her instructions. She’s got precious littleinternet time where she is, and he doesn’t want to miss it, but he’s trying notto get his hopes up. So far, he’s gotten Happy Birthday greetings and giftsfrom his brothers, but otherwise, twenty-three is indistinguishable fromtwenty-two. Peeta’s in the midst of preparing himself mentally to be let down whenhis laptop starts beeping and blooping with an incoming call.

The chair nearly slides out from under him inhis haste to sit down. He runs his hands through his hair and smiles beforepressing the green circle to answer. Immediate joy rushes through him when shesmiles at him.

“Happy Birthday, Peeta,” she says and his heartdoes somersaults, just so happy to hear her voice for the first time in months.

“Hey, beautiful,” he breathes out and sheblushes a little. He kicks himself for his blunder but keeps going in the hopesthat she won’t drag him on his birthday for it. “How’s the research going?”

She’s spent the past six months on a researchtrip for her masters degree in anthropology, somewhere in the AustralianOutback. Her passion is bringing to light the stories of people forgotten orerased from history around the world. While he couldn’t be more proud of herpursuit of her dreams or her success at securing the coveted grant that tookher to another country, he still misses her terribly.

“Great,” she says, and he takes the opening toask her a thousand questions he’s been saving for when they get to talk face toface. They’ve been restricted to e-mail and one very static filled call on asatellite phone due to the time difference and her rare access to the internetor postal services. After several minutes of conversation, she glances down ather wrist and shakes her head. “I’m almost out of time and we’ve barely talkedabout you!”

“Trust me, anything I have to say right now isfar less interesting. Grading papers, writing lesson plans, rereading ToKill a Mockingbird for the twelfth time.”

“You love that book,” she says with a lift ofher eyebrow.

“Maybe,” he shrugs.

“I got you something. I’m sorry I couldn’t getit there on time, but I want to carry it back myself. Not sure I trust ourpostal runners here with it.” She lifts a flat stone covered in colored dots –yellows, browns, reds, white, and even some greens – that form a sun shiningin a vibrant sky.

“Is that…?”

“It is. Ochre artwork,” she confirms.

“It’s beautiful, Katniss. I love it.”

“I thought you might,” she says as she sets itdown beside her and then gives him a grin. “But wait! There’s more!”

He laughs at her gameshow host imitation andnearly cries when she shows him the cover of a book, all about art techniquesof the aboriginal peoples of Australia. He has to scratch at the corner of hiseye to keep from crying. She’s over ten thousand miles away and still managedto find the perfect gift for him. Something that’s both her and him.

“I’m sorry it’s going to be late,” she murmurs,her face losing some of it’s happiness, probably because he’s a nitwit andnearly crying at her gift.

“No, don’t be. It’s perfect and I can’t wait tosee it in person because then you’ll be home, too,” he says, his voice soundinga little hoarse even to him. They manage a few more minutes before she has togo, but before she does, Katniss sings Happy Birthday to him, her voicesultry and soothing and perfect all at once. Perfectly wonderful and perfectlytormenting him.

When they hang up, he slowly shuts his laptopand then heads to bed early, needing to end his birthday on the best possiblenote.

************************

TWENTY-FIVE

“You sure you don’t want to join us,” Grahamasks as he and Ryen stand in the doorway that leads to the garage. “BringKatniss with you. She could be your wingman.”

Peeta grips tight to the edges of his temper.They probably don’t notice the way Katniss pinches her lips together in a scowland turns away to vigorously chop the vegetables for their dinner. It’s a suresign that she’s upset, and given what happened on his birthday last year, hewants this line of conversation to end quickly.

“There’s only so much that flying solo can accomplish,”Ryen joins in with a rude hand gesture and Peeta chucks the kitchen towel atthem to get them to leave. The rosy flush on the back of Katniss’ neck tellshim that she saw the gesture out of the corner of her eye, so now not only isshe upset over something, she’s also embarrassed. She never did like talkingabout physical intimacy.

“What’s that all about?” Katniss asks tightlyafter they’ve finally gone.

“Nothing important,” Peeta says and standsbeside her to help. She bumps her hip into his to try and move him away fromher, but he persists, snatching the vegetables and taking over the task ofchopping as she moves to slide the meat into the oven. “Graham’s decided thatsince he’s going to be a bachelor again, he’s dragging the rest of us intodebauchery right along with him.”

“They wanted to find you a one night stand foryour birthday?”

“Yeah,” he says and turns to ask a questionabout the food. He knows she’s curious but won’t like following that line ofquestioning. Talking about food distracts her, though. Within minutes, he’s gother smiling and laughing again, the discomfort of his brothers’ plans andcomments momentarily forgotten.

Once their dinner is ready, they take theirseats on the couch and Peeta scrolls through options until Katniss settles oncatching up on Outlander. For him, she insists. She’ll never admit thatthe love story intrigues her, especially the aspect of Claire’s torn loyaltiesbetween her husband and the man she’s clearly falling in love with.

************************

TWENTY-FOUR

“What the hell, Peeta?” she yells at him and hetries to shut his mouth, but can’t get over the shock at her unexpected fury.“You have a date tonight?!”

Her eyes ignite and he holds up his hands,unsure where exactly he went wrong. She’s been seeing some guy she works withat the university for the past four months and he didn’t think she’d care.They’ve gotten serious and it’s been slowly killing him to listen to her talk,to sound so happy in the arms of someone else. Hoping it would help him move onor forget, he asked Jackie, the red-haired girl at his book club, if she’d goon a date with him and didn’t tell her that the date was on his birthdaybecause he wants to forget and didn’t want to put that kind of pressure orexpectation or weirdness on a first date.

It’s his birthday, after all. Shouldn’the get to do what he wants?

Katniss sputters angrily when he vocalizes thatlast thought to her and throws something in his arms before she storms out ofthe house. He thinks about chasing after her, but he’s angry, too. Angry thatshe didn’t bother to make plans with him or mention anything about his birthdayuntil right this second. And yes, he’s to blame too, for neither asking herabout it nor bringing it up. But she’s been the one person the past four yearsto actually make his birthday special, and he had himself convinced that nowthat she’s got a boyfriend, she wouldn’t want to make a big deal out of Peeta’sbirthday anymore. Or maybe that she’d even forgotten. Her silence on the matterin the past few days only helped confirm that in his mind. He never dreamedshe’d be this upset over him having a date.

Fueled by anger and hurt, he leaves his place tomeet up with Jackie, but he’s distracted through dinner and lags in theconversation. Besides, his heart isn’t in it. He gave his heart to his bestfriend a long time ago, and is just pathetic enough to have never taken it back.

At the end of the date, he heads home andchanges into something to sleep in, although he’s probably not sleepingtonight. Not with thoughts of Katniss wreaking havoc on his mind. Finally, hesits on his bed with the thing she threw at him and carefully peels away thepaper, staring down at the butter soft cover before flipping it open andsighing. She put together a scrapbook of sorts. Pictures of them through theyears, a few of his sketches that disappeared and he’d wondered where they’dgone off to, ticket stubs that she’s saved, a few napkins with his doodles ortheir games of tic-tac-toe on them, pressed flowers from their hikes and otherassorted outdoor adventures. It’s perfect, beautiful.

With another deep sigh, he picks up his phoneand calls her, expecting her to ignore him, surprised when she answers with awavering voice.

“Hello?”

“Katniss, I’m sorry,” he says immediately. Shesniffles a little.

“I’m sorry, too, Peeta. You were right. It’syour birthday and you should get to do what you want. I just thought, well, Iguess I thought you’d want to do something with me.”

“I did. I do, Katniss. But you didn’t mention itonce. I assumed you had plans with Darius or something.”

“No. I should’ve said something to you soonerit’s just he… Well never mind what he said.”

“Okay, what did he say? You can’t drop a bomblike that and not tell me whether or not I need to go kick his ass for you,”Peeta says and Katniss laughs, because they both know that Peeta’s methods ofrevenge are far less direct but far more effective than a fist to the face, nomatter how much he’s wanted to punch any number of her sleazy ex-boyfriends inthe past.

“It doesn’t matter,” she says. “We broke up thismorning anyways.”

“What? Why didn’t you tell me that?”

“Because it’s your birthday, Peeta, and I didn’twant to ruin it for you with my drama,” she says and he shakes his head,stunned that she hasn’t figured out yet that he would drop everything for her.In a heartbeat.

“I’ll be there in two minutes. Do you have stufffor hot chocolate?”

“Maybe? I don’t know?”

“Make it ten minutes then,” he says.

“Thank you, Peeta,” she whispers.

Fifteen minutes later, they’re curled up on hercouch, sipping hot chocolate and watching some dumb comedy that was queued upin her roommate’s Netflix. Katniss rests her head on his shoulder and he wrapshis arm around her, allowing her to get closer to him. He savors the momentswhen she laughs and he can both feel it and hear it, lets his hand skim up anddown her arm. Eventually, she starts to nod off and he carefully extricates hermostly empty mug from her grip before setting it on the end table.

“Stay with me tonight, Peeta,” she murmurs as hecarries her to her bedroom. She nuzzles her way further into his embrace. It’snot an unusual request of hers. They’ve shared a bed before. And even thoughthey didn’t do anything big to celebrate his birthday this year, there’snowhere else he’d rather spend it than right here with her.

“Always,” he whispers when they’re settledbeneath her covers and her body relaxes beside him as she slips away intoslumber.

************************

TWENTY-FIVE

“So maybe we should do the cake now,” Katnisssuggests as Peeta hands her a few more plain candles. “Why do you have so manyof these?”

“Leftovers from Ryen’s last seriousrelationship. Something about seduction by candlelight on Valentine’s Day.” Helaughs when Katniss drops them on the counter like they’re hot coals. Shegathers them back up as he shuts the cabinet and climbs down from the stepstool, pointing the way with the flashlight as they work their way around theliving room, setting up the candles and lighting them.

A chill works its way down Peeta’s spine as thethunder rolls and rumbles outside. The rain lashes the windows in a crescendoas the wind picks up, then gradually softens. A freak storm rolled throughbefore they were even twenty minutes into the episode they were watching andknocked out the power. He’s already checked on his brothers, who made it safelyto some hip bar Graham wanted to check out before the storm hit.

Once they’ve got enough light in the room, Peetaflops back down on the couch and Katniss resumes her spot from earlier, tuckedinto his side with one hand resting on his thigh. He shifts nervously,listening to the storm and wondering what they should talk about. This usuallyisn’t a problem for them, so he starts by asking about her day at work.

The candles cast a soft glow over the room asthey talk in soft tones, which would usually help him relax and make himdrowsy, but Katniss’ hand keeps drifting up and down his thigh. And it’s havinga disastrous effect on him. His jeans grow tighter by the second. For now,she’s oblivious, but he doesn’t want to make her uncomfortable with how turnedon he’s getting by a little innocent cuddling and conversation.

When her hand travels a touch higher than herprevious passes over his leg, he shifts to keep her hand away from his groin.Katniss turns her head to look up at him. “Are you alright, Peeta?”

“Yeah, sure. Why wouldn’t I be?”

She shrugs slightly and chews on her lip. Peetasighs, sensing that they’ve finally gotten to the point where they’ll need totalk about that awkward kiss.

“Katniss, about this morning,” he says,reminding himself of how irreplaceable her friendship is in his life. “It wasan accident. I didn’t know you were…anyways, I don’t want things to getawkward between us because I moved my face at the wrong time.”

“It’s fine, Peeta,” she says, sounding irritatedand looking away from him. He can’t even manage an apology for kissing herwithout offending her, how can he possibly expect to actually kiss her? And headmits that he’s been thinking about it. More than usual, at least.

“I’m just sorry you got stuck here with meinstead of having a passionate fling,” she mutters. “Not the best birthdayever, is it?”

He stares down at her, thinking she’s lost hermind. Katniss squirms a little under his scrutiny until he speaks. “Believe me,there’s no competition. There’s nowhere else and no one else I’d rather be withright now.”

He hopes his voice isn’t as husky and adoring asit sounds in his mind. She blinks slowly and for a second, he thinks she dropsher gaze to his mouth, but this is Katniss. His best friend. His best friendwho was annoyed ten seconds ago when he brought up their sort-of a kiss. Thenshe slowly licks her lips and he follows the path of her tongue as it retreatsback into her mouth before her teeth tug on the glistening surface he wants sobadly to taste.

“Who says you can’t have both?” she whispers.

His brain comes to a screeching halt, completewith clanging metal and shattering glass. Because if he didn’t know any better,he’d think that his best friend whom he’s been in love with for at least twoyears, probably longer, just suggested that they have sex. Tonight. On hisbirthday.

He searches her eyes for some sign that he heardher right. Her gray eyes remain focused on him, wide and uncertain. Her chestrises with quick breaths that puff through her parted lips. She leans towardshim and every few seconds, her body trembles.

“Peeta…if it hadn’t been an accident…wouldyou have…wanted to kiss me?”

He’s expecting a strategically placed clap ofthunder to announce his impending doom, because he has no idea how or why thisconversation has taken this turn. Slowly, so he doesn’t frighten her or disturbthe threads holding them together, he nods.

“Show me,” she whispers, and that’s when hestops thinking and acts on whatever the hell mood just struck the two of them,lifting his hand to cup her cheek. She smiles tremulously and leans into hispalm. He nearly shouts with joy and caresses his thumb over her lower lip,watches the plump flesh respond to his touch. Her eyes flutter shut and heswears he hears her sigh.

He lowers his head to hers, still expecting tobe rudely awakened and realize that he fell asleep on the couch and the pastfew minutes have been nothing more than another dream. More wishful thinking.Or for her to shove him away and yell at him that he completely misreadeverything.

But then she makes a noise of frustration, grabsa fistful of his shirt in her hand and tugs on it. His body and his mindfinally come to a consensus and he caresses his lips over hers. Once to hearthe sharp inhale of expectation. Another for the soft whine that tells him shereally does want him to kiss her. Then he tilts his head the smallest amount sohe doesn’t crush her nose when his lips join with hers and he wraps his armtighter around her, turns so that her chest smashes into his.

She doesn’t run or push him away. Doesn’t remindhim that they’re friends. Instead, Katniss winds her fingers through his hair,meeting each movement of his lips with one of her own. For a moment, he thinksto pinch himself, to make sure that this is real, but that would require him toremove a hand from her, something he’s not willing to do. His head spins withquestions and desires.

Eventually, Katniss moves to lay back on thecouch, dragging him down with her. They shift limbs and hands awkwardly, stillfused at the mouth. He tries to focus on one sense at a time, to memorize hertaste, the feel of her lips on his, the sounds she makes in the back of herthroat, the scent of her soap a familiar tether to reality as they kiss. Andkiss.

Without much space, his knee slips off the couchand he has to brace his foot on the floor, even as she lifts her legs to wraparound his waist, firmly pulling him down on top of her, fingers skimming overhis neck, scraping his scalp. She moans and opens her mouth beneath his, lettinghim feel the sound as it ripples across his tongue. He returns it as theircores align, the grip her legs have on him pulling him flush against her. Hecan’t help the quick thrust into her, can’t help but revel at the heat thatsurrounds them and the friction between them, can’t help the quick leap tothinking about what this would feel like if they were both naked.

She gasps and backs away from the kiss. Peetamentally berates himself.

Too fast. Much too fast.

“Sorry,” he mutters, trying to leave herembrace, but she clings to him.

“For what?” she breathes and he stares at her,lips swollen, eyes glassy, cheeks flushed. A thrill of arrogance runs throughhim, clouding his better intentions to slow things down. He did that. He madeKatniss look like this, ripe for loving.

“For…rushing things?” he asks uncertainly.

“I don’t feel rushed,” she admits, her fingerstoying with the hair at the nape of his neck.

“You don’t,” he whispers and she shakes herhead.

“Unless…unless you don’t want–”

“No,” he says in a rush. Her brows snap togetherin a scowl and he hurries to fix the damage his haste has created. “I want to.You have no idea how much or how long I’ve wanted this, Katniss. But that’sjust it. I don’t want to scare you.”

“Why do you think I’d be scared?” she asks,still scowling. He hears his brothers’ taunts in his head, calling him ‘oldman.’ He’s not old, not even close, but an image of him and Katniss in rockingchairs, gray and wrinkled with five feet of space and no words of love betweenthem hits him just then. Screw it. He’ll find a way to repair friendship laterif he’s wrong. He can’t take the chance that he might miss out on this becausehe’s afraid.

“Because I’m helplessly in love with you, Katniss.I have been for years,” he murmurs. She smiles. Astonishing and radiant. Hisheart thunders to life at the sight of that expression. Her hand slowly bringshis lips back down to hers.

“Then stop trying to run off when I’m trying tokiss you,” she says and he laughs lightly for a second before kissing heragain.

This time, he doesn’t hold back, taking the timeto kiss her deeply. To let his hand wander up and down her side, to slipbeneath her sweater and skim the smooth skin of her belly, up to her ribs anddown, ever so slowly working his way higher.

Shock jolts through him when his fingers brushthe underside of her breast and find no bra barring the way. Lust followsswiftly behind as he cups the perky mound in his hand and she arches into him,moaning desperately. Loud enough to muffle the thunder overhead. Her legs clamparound him and after that, he loses track of who touches where and when. He’slost in the need to feel every inch of her because it is better for him totouch and discover than lose his sanity in thoughts of wasted time.

He kisses her cheeks and eyelids, nibbles on herears and neck, moves his hips to the rhythm of her gasping moans and quietpleas of nothing but ‘yes’ and ‘Peeta.’ Her hands move to his jeans to unfastenhis belt and slip the button through its loop. The release of pressure when shelowers his zipper snaps him back to some semblance of thinking and he pullsback to halt her hands.

“Don’t you want…?”

“More than anything,” he whispers, kissing herlips swiftly before turning them on the couch so she’s reclining against theback and he’s kneeling before her on the floor. Because he’s still not surewhere this is going or how much she’ll allow him, and he refuses to waste his chanceto do the one thing that has driven his fantasies of her for years.

He frantically undoes her jeans, ignoring theclank of his own belt as it flaps freely. Gripping her jeans, he tugs them downher legs, urging her to lift her hips to help. When they’re off and discardedto the side, he glances back up at her, notes that her smile still flirts withher lips. As he reaches for her panties, though, he freezes with his hands inmidair at the image of her like this. Katniss shifts her legs impatiently. Orperhaps nervously.

“Beautiful,” he whispers, fingers tracing overthe sunset hued flowers on her panties. His favorite colors. He wonders if shewore these on purpose today or if it’s coincidence. When he looks up at herface, she’s holding her fists near her mouth, chewing lightly on her thumbnails. He wracks his brains for a way to get her to laugh, to relax again.

“For me?” he asks with a cheeky grin. “Youshouldn’t have.”

Then she laughs, a little breathless but it’sstill one of hers, and helps him slide the panties down her legs. He lifts oneleg by her ankle and drops soft kisses to the delicate skin. Up one centimeterat a time, stealing brief glances at her face to make sure she’s still withhim. When he reaches her knee, he drapes her leg over his shoulder and keepsgoing. Kisses. Soft bites. Slow licks. The higher he travels, the faster andlouder she breathes until he reaches his goal and she releases a singing sighof relief. Her hips undulate beneath his mouth, her hands curving over the backof the couch to anchor herself.

He’s drunk on her taste in seconds, lost in thehooded gaze she bestows on him when he looks up at her. With a teasing dip ofhis tongue, he moves to the side and down her other leg. Katniss whimpers androlls her hips towards him again and he holds back his chuckle, still stunnedthat she seems to want this as badly as him.

“I love the way you taste,” he whispers as henuzzles her thigh and kisses down to her knee before returning where she wantshim. “I love everything about you.”

When he makes it back, she lets loose a moanthat sounds more like a song to him. He makes it his life goal to get her tomake that noise endlessly until she comes on his tongue. One hand grips hishair, and she begs him not to stop as her nails scorch his scalp. He risks aglance up at her face, twisted in effort. Peeta shifts enough to slide firstone then a second finger between her lips, nearly coming right then at theincredible warmth that greets him, the gentle tug of her walls that tells himshe’s close.

Her body bows on the couch as she wails hisname. Then she snaps back and curls in on him, legs clamping down and holdinghim in place as she pulses against his fingers and tongue. It’s everything he’sdreamt of and more.

Katniss flops back on the couch when she’s done,panting and flushed with her release. Slowly, he pulls his fingers from her andplants one last kiss on her before sitting back as her legs fall away from him.Her eyes flutter open in time for her to watch him lick his fingers clean ofher. She shudders and then covers her mouth, but not before a giggle escapesher. And then another from behind her hands.

“What’re you thinking?” he asks, scared of theanswer.

“We should’ve done this sooner, birthday boy,”she says and his cock jumps at her sultry tone. Her eyes widen and she sits upon the couch. “You weren’t supposed to do that!”

“Do what?” Peeta’s heart sinks at her words, andhe stands up to put some distance between them. But her hands grasp at his jeansand pull him towards her instead.

“It’s your birthday, not mine,” she says,confusing him because she sounds annoyed with him, but at the same time, she’syanking his clothes down.

“I wanted to,” he insists. And then her lipswrap around him and his assertion that he’s wanted to eat her out like that foryears gets lost in his strangled curse.

He tangles his fingers in her hair and tries toslow her down, but time and months of celibacy and the taste of her still onhis tongue and years of fantasies work against him. It only takes a few hardsucks of her mouth before the sensation becomes too much. He manages to pullher off of him and cup his hand over himself just in time.

As soon as the euphoria passes, the shame takesits place. He grabs his clothes and tugs them up just enough, turns away fromher in embarrassment, mumbling an apology before retreating into his bathroomto clean himself up, taking one of the candles with him. He’s a little moreharsh with his body than he needs to be, humiliated that he blew his load likea fucking teenager the second she touched him.

“Peeta,” she calls to him through the door andknocks softly before opening it. He curses himself for not locking it andfocuses on tucking himself back in his shorts and washing his hands and face sohe doesn’t have to see her disappointment with him in her eyes.

Her hands slide beneath his shirt, startling himas she embraces him from behind. “Are you mad at me?”

“No,” he says, stunned by her question. He meetsher eyes in the mirror, peeking over his shoulder. “I’m mad at myself.”

“You shouldn’t be,” she whispers. “I likedmaking you lose control that fast. And I especially liked what you did to mebefore that.”

They stare at one another for a minute, andPeeta wonders how they proceed from here. The awful thought occurs to him thatshe meant this as a one night thing. After all, that’s what his brothers hadintended, and all of this started with her saying he could have both. Both hotsex with a one night stand and a night spent with his best friend.

But now that he knows what she tastes like, whathis name sounds like flying off her tongue when she’s in the middle of coming,he’s not willing to let that go.

“Katniss, I’m still helplessly in love with you.I want to spend every possible minute of the rest of my life with you.”

“Well then come to bed, Peeta,” she whispers.She doesn’t let go of him as he lets his jeans fall to the floor and kicks theminto the corner. Even as he brushes his teeth, she keeps one hand on him whilebrushing her own with the toothbrush she keeps in his bathroom. She doesn’t letgo of him as they clean up their dinner mess, extinguish the candles, andeventually, she leads him to his own bed, crawling beneath the covers first andlooking back at him expectantly.

“We should maybe take things slow, yeah? So noone gets hurt,” he says quietly. She lifts one shoulder but doesn’t look awayfrom him.

“Okay. But we’ve shared a bed before, Peeta,”she reminds him. He laughs, although it sounds nervous or maybe hysterical tohis own ears. He runs a hand through his hair and then climbs into his bed.

As he settles beside her, she wriggles into hisarms and then cups his face in her hands before kissing him. The kiss soothesmany of his fears, but he knows they’ll still need to talk a little in themorning.

************************

TWENTY-FOUR

Bright May sunshine warms the earth, greetingthe newly bloomed flowers in the yard. Guests mingle and Peeta adds hiscarefully chosen present to the small stack before making his way over towardsthe grill where Katniss is engaged in a heated discussion with a tall,dark-haired guy he doesn’t recognize.

She looks up and smiles at Peeta, sending hisheart tripping over itself before she meets him halfway and throws her armsaround his neck.

“Happy Birthday, Katniss,” Peeta murmurs intoher neck.

“Cut the crap. What’d you bring me?” she asksand he laughs, but points out his gift on the picnic table. She hurries overand tears into it.

“Aren’t you supposed to wait until after we singto you?” he teases.

Katniss scowls at him, but the glint of mischiefin her eyes tells him that she’s not truly angry with him. She flips open thesmall box and he holds his breath, waiting for her reaction. Her hand tremblesas she runs a finger over the delicate silver locket with the bird engraved onit. Carefully pulling the necklace from its cushion, she holds it in her palmand opens it, gasping slightly when she sees the pictures.

Lately, she’s been missing her family more. Herparents and her sister. Peeta managed to get his hands on pictures of them, allsmiling and happiness, and tucked them into the locket to remind Katniss thatshe’s never alone. To remind her of the people who love her when she’s off onresearch trips or responsibility and distance conspire to keep her from herloved ones a little longer than she’d like.

“For when you miss them,” he says quietly,hoping he hasn’t stepped over the line. But she looks up at him with glisteningeyes and hands it to him before turning her back to him and lifting her hair.

“Help me put it on?” she asks.

“Of course,” he says and gently lays it acrossher throat. Once the necklace is clasped, he squeezes her shoulder and she letsher hair fall back into place.

“I love it, Peeta,” she says, turning to facehim again. She rests her hands on his shoulders and rises on her toes, pressinga kiss to his cheek. “It’s perfect.”

“Good, because I’m pretty sure they don’t takereturns,” he says to cover they way he’s flushing and trembling at the firstever brush of her lips on his skin. She laughs, but then Johanna shouts for herand Katniss leaves him with a sigh.

He wishes he could have more of her time, butthe gathered crowd demands much of her attention. When he does get a momentwith her, he points out that she’s clearly got droves of adoring friends. Shecomes back claiming they’re all there for the free food, a typical Katnissresponse that makes him laugh.

Halfway through the meal, he’s sent to thekitchen to grab another container of potato salad from the fridge. On the wayback, he’s stopped dead in his tracks before he rounds the corner of the houseby the conversation he hears.

“You’re not even the least bit upset that hecame here with Madge and they’re now sucking face?” Johanna asks, and Peetaknows she’s talking about Darius, Katniss’ ex-boyfriend, who showed up to theparty as Madge’s guest. Which means Johanna is talking to Katniss. He shouldannounce his presence rather than eavesdrop.

“God no. He can suck face with whomever hewants,” Katniss responds without a trace of anger, malice, hurt, or evenjealousy in her voice.

“I knew it. You’re in love with him,” Johannacrows.

“I am not,” Katniss insists.

“Not Darius, Brainless. The one that caused yourbreakup with Darius,” Johanna drops her voice and Peeta’s ears perk up asKatniss speaks again.

“I don’t know what you mean,” she insists, butthere’s a hitch in her voice that tells Peeta she’s lying. His heart plummetsto his toes and he braces a hand on the side of the house. Katniss is in lovewith someone. It was only a matter of time, but he thought he had more of it.

Ever since she’d broken up with Darius, Peetahas been working up the courage to finally tell her how he feels about her. Itwouldn’t be easy or simple, he reminded himself. Their friendship means theworld to him, and to her too, he hopes. Risking it on a romantic relationshipmight kill it or hurt them both. So he planned on being delicate about bringingit up, emphasizing that he’d do everything in his power to keep theirfriendship alive, to include burying his feelings as deep as necessary if theyturned out to be as one sided as he suspects. But now it sounds like it doesn’tmatter anyways. He waited too long.

“Oh come on. We both know Darius dumped youbecause he knew it, too. It’s all over your face every time you’re around him.You need to get on that before someone else does,” Jo keeps going despiteKatniss’ protests. “I’m just saying, there’s any number of ladies who wannaclimb him like a tree. Plus, he’s head over heels for you.”

He’s heard enough and back tracks to open theside door to the house before slamming it shut to give them a warning andwalking back around the house with a smile on his face. He manages to smile atthem both as he walks by on his way to take the salad to the buffet table.

Five minutes later as Katniss fills her platewith seconds, the tall and dark-haired guy from earlier rubs elbows with herand talks to her quietly.

“Oh, Peeta, this is Gale,” she introduces them,a pretty flush on her face. “Gale and I went to the same high school together.”

“Yeah?” Peeta asks as he shakes Gale’s hand.

“Ran into one another back in February, was it?”Gale says, glancing at Katniss for confirmation. Peeta misses whatever shesays, his mind caught on the timing, so close the day she and Darius broke up.And this is the first he’s heard mention of Gale at all. Which means they’vebeen seeing each other and Katniss hadn’t seen fit to tell Peeta, her bestfriend, about it. He swallows the lump of hurt this revelation causes.

They talk for a minute, but when Katnissfinishes her food and tosses her plate in the trash, any miniscule hope Peetahad left is smashed to pieces. Gale leans down towards Katniss and murmurssomething that makes her laugh, her head thrown back and a satisfied smile onGale’s face as he leads her off to the side, away from Peeta.

He’s not blind. He can tell Gale’s handsome.Tall, dark, taciturn, and brooding. Mysterious. Traditionally masculine basedon his conversation about archery and backpacking through Peru, fishing andhunting. The classic literary hero. And Katniss seems so at ease around him,that Peeta now knows Gale must be the one Johanna was referring to.

He reminds himself that his feelings are hisproblem to get over, and for the next few months, focuses on being just herfriend. Like always. It’d hurt far more to have her cut him out of her lifecompletely should her relationship with Gale escalate, so Peeta concentrates onbeing the best friend possible, making sure she knows he’ll always be there forher, no matter what. All the while, he braces himself for the blow to hisheart. But it never arrives.

Sometime around New Years, Gale starts datingone of Katniss’ coworkers instead, reawakening his hopes.

************************

TWENTY-FIVE

Peeta’s not sure what wakes him. He lays in thedark trying to place the sounds. There’s movement beside him in the bed andthen a sharp inhale.

“Katniss?” he asks, reaching out to turn on thebedside lamp, grateful that the power’s been restored, before rolling over tocheck on her. Sometimes she has nightmares about a car wreck that nearly killedher entire family when she was a teenager. Her eyes are wide and hazy as shewatches him, her cheeks stained with heat, her entire body rigid. “Are youokay?”

“Fine,” she gasps. “Just couldn’t sleep.”

“You don’t sound fine,” Peeta says and scootscloser to her. She flinches back away from him. His brow furrows in confusion,but as the seconds tick by, the appalled look still on her face, Peeta acceptswhat he feared earlier. That whatever happened between them was not some grandconfession of her love for him after all, but just a one night stand. And nowshe probably regrets it. “Okay. I’ll just go sleep on the couch. Give you somespace.”

“Graham sleeps there,” Katniss says, promptingPeeta to look at the time on his phone. It’s not even midnight yet. Rain stilldrums on the roof, steady and heavy, although he doesn’t hear any thunder.

“They won’t be home for a few more hours. He cansleep on the floor,” Peeta says and moves to stand from the bed.

“Wait!” Katniss says and grabs his arm. Peetastares down at her hand, at the two fingers glistening in the faint light. Hecan feel the sticky moisture coating them. Slowly, he lifts his gaze to her asthe realization of what she was doing dawns on him.

The very thought that she was doing that besidehim, in his bed, coupled with her tight grip on his arm sends desire screamingthrough his body. She huffs before releasing him, but he grips her wrist andbrings her hand towards his face. It’ll probably scare the shit out of her, buthe’s already told her that he’s in love with her, so what’s one more gamble?

He can smell her arousal on her fingers andwatches her eyes turn limpid with desire as he opens his mouth and sets herfingers on his tongue before sucking. The taste confirms his suspicions. He’snever forgetting this taste as long as he lives.

“Were you touching yourself, Katniss?” he asks,the lack of sleep removing his usual filters. She licks her lips and flexes herfingers, her wrist still in his hold.

“Maybe,” she whispers and he waits for furtherexplanation. She seems to come to a decision and scoots closer to him, leanstowards him. “I didn’t want to bother you, but I…I was thinking about you,Peeta. I always think about you.”

His stomach flips over and his cock stirs tolife at her confession. These aren’t things Katniss would share easily or withjust anyone. She guards her heart and her desires like they’re gold in FortKnox most of the time. Too many dates and boyfriends who claimed to love herfiery spirit only to try to douse it once they had her has made her cautious.Peeta wants to destroy every last one of them for nearly destroying one of thethings that draws him to her.

“But there’s more,” she whispers and he smilesslightly at the memory of his birthday two years ago. “I feel the same way.”

It takes him a moment to catch up, but when hedoes, his heart soars. “You’re helplessly in love with me?”

“I am,” she says with a slow nod. “I have beenfor a long time. I’m not sure how long, but I know that I don’t want whathappened earlier tonight to be the last time we do those things together.”

Peeta shifts beneath the covers to move in onher and Katniss reaches out to palm him through his shorts, making himimpossibly hard. “I thought we were taking things slow.”

“Slow? We’ve both wanted this for years, Peeta.Don’t you think that’s slow enough?” she asks, one eyebrow climbing up herforehead as her lips curl into a smile.

“Fair enough,” he says, relieved when she twiststheir hands so she’s gripping his wrist and pulls his hand straight to hercenter. She moans at the first touch of his fingers, the sound needy enoughthat he barely registers that her panties are nowhere on her body. “Fuck you’realready so wet. Next time you can’t sleep…wake me up and I’ll gladly help.”

“Oh, okay. I will,” she whispers. A thoughtoccurs to him and he needs to know, another piece that would mean she didn’tmake this choice on a whim.

“When I asked you earlier today if I was losingmy touch–”

“Oh my god,” she moans, gripping his arms as hecurls his fingers inside her. His cock jumps eagerly when he feels just howaroused she already is.

“What did you do after we hung up last night?”

“This. Oh, Peeta,” she admits breathlessly.

He hasn’t even made a wish on birthday candlesyet today, and here his wishes are all coming true. He strokes her folds andlatches his mouth around one nipple after she tears her shirt from her body.Her hands claw at his shirt too, but he waits until she’s writhing and pleadingwith him, telling him that she needs him, before he stops kissing and touchingher long enough to remove his clothes. His hands fumble around in hisnightstand before he finds a condom. He squints at the expiration date, hisvision clouded as Katniss’ teeth tug on his earlobe and her body writhesbeneath him.

“Hurry. Now,” she urges when he’s able to makeout that it’s still good, if only just. Once he has it on, their hands grip andtug, bodies shift until he’s sliding inside of her.

“Finally,” she sighs when he’s buried all theway, his pulse thrumming madly and his arms shaking in the effort to keep frompounding into her mindlessly.

“You love me,” he whispers as he pulls out tilljust his head is still inside her.

“I do, Peeta,” she gasps as he plunges back in.

“Why’d we wait so long?” he groans as he gripsthe sheets beside her ribs and moves slowly, so he doesn’t hurt her.

“I don’t know anymore,” she says threading herfingers through his hair and bringing his mouth to hers. They kiss as he moves,building her up to the point she can’t take it anymore.

He can’t decide if he’d rather kiss her orwatch, and ends the kiss to rest his forehead on hers and do the latter, awedby the open desire and need in her gray eyes. “God Katniss, I wish I’d beenbraver sooner. Had spoken up a year ago when I wanted to.”

“Shut up and make up for it now,” she orders.She writhes beneath him, tangling the sheets around their legs, moaning witheach thrust until she bends upwards and grips the slats of his headboard withone hand.

“Please. Peeta, please,” she whines. “Don’t makeme wait any longer.”

He moves faster, encouraged by the singing wailsof delight that fly from her throat and dance through his senses along with theecstasy of being inside her. She demands everything from him and he gives it,gripping the headboard with one hand next to hers, to give himself betterleverage, shouting when her nails rake over his shoulder and back, trailing firethrough his blood with her eager moans and desperate thrusts meeting his. Thebed squeaks and the headboard keeps time against the wall. Their slick skinslides and sticks and burns at every touch. It’s never been this loud, intense,or uninhibited with anyone before and he shoves aside regrets that he didn’tspeak up sooner to live fully in this moment, to focus on her first tremors onhis cock.

“Like that. Ung! Just like that, Peeta!” sheexclaims, her eyes locked on his, and then her words dissolve into incoherentsounds of elation as he twists his hips until her walls cease their clenching.His arms shake and she practically purrs as she moves her hips against his,whispers to him to keep going, to come for her.

The headboard once more thumps against the wallin time with his desperate grunts. He tries not to pound her like an animal,but her claws in his skin and the things she whispers to him drive him out ofhis mind with need. He’s hanging off the edge until she demands that he ‘letgo’ and he thrusts twice more, releasing a gut wrenching shout as euphoriaburns through him. Peeta falls still as he fills the condom, his orgasm lastinglonger than any he can remember. He practically blacks out from the intense pleasureand has to roll to the side to keep from crushing her when he collapses.

He lays there with his eyes closed and theirlegs entangled, catching his breath and trailing his fingers through the sheenof sweat on her skin, listening to her ragged breathing as they slowly driftback down.

“Happy Birthday, Peeta. Told you that you couldhave both,” she whispers as she rolls over to cuddle into his side. He holdsher there and smiles, opening one eye and checking the clock on his phone,surprised when he sees that the time is 11:58. So it is still his birthday.Setting the phone down, he gathers her in his embrace and kisses her, slow andsavoring each touch, each soft smacking sound of their mouths. The thoughtdrifts through his mind that his brother was wrong. The best thing to everhappen to him occurred on his twenty-fifth birthday, and he’s certain that itcan only get better from here.

“I never gave you your present,” she pouts atone point, making Peeta laugh.

“You mean there’s more?”

**********************

Although Katniss staying the night is nothingnew, they’re careful about their appearance the next morning as they wanderinto the kitchen for breakfast, not wanting to give his brothers anything toantagonize them over. Peeta’s surprised to see both of his brothers awake,leaning against the kitchen counter and drinking coffee, a plate of muffinsfresh from the oven sitting on the island. Both of them appear cheerful and notthe least bit hungover.

“Morning,” he says as Katniss slides into one ofthe stools at the island and he starts the water for tea.

“Good morning indeed,” Ryen says, making thehair on the back of Peeta’s neck stand on edge. He turns to say something, buthis brother cuts him off. “We didn’t get a chance to give you your cake lastnight. But last minute changes needed to be made to the message, so I guess itturned out better this way.”

Katniss lifts the lid off the plastic cakecaddy, her face almost instantly turning a splotchy red before she drops thelid back in place and stares up at Peeta with wide eyes.

He’s by her side in two steps as his brothersboth double over in laughter. At first, Katniss tries to stop him from looking,and he’s now a little scared of what he’ll find beneath the lid, but then shesighs and shrugs, flipping the lid off for him herself and smiling wryly.

“Guess they got home earlier than we thought,”she says and Peeta looks down at the messy frosting job that clearly indicateshis brothers scraped off the original icing and replaced it with the four wordsin bright blue.

Congrats on the Sex!

He opens his mouth to yell at his brothers forbeing insensitive assholes, but Katniss laughs and then yanks his head down tohers, stopping his words and his annoyance at his brothers with her lips onhis. He loses himself quickly in the kiss and only vaguely hears his brothers’reaction.

“So does this mean you’ll have an open bedroomsoon?”

“Oh fuck no. Don’t leave me with him, Peeta,”Ryen whines.

Peeta lifts his head and pushes the cake towardshis brother. “Have some cake, Ryen. It’ll make you feel better.” Then hedeposits the plate of fresh muffins in Katniss’ hands, scoops her out of herchair, and carries her and the muffins back to bed…so they can have both.

[weliketheiroldstuff]

Slayer brings Hell to Michigan one last time with Lamb of God, Amon Amarth, and Cannibal Corpse

What could be more appropriate weather for Slayer's last Michigan show than death via tornado and extreme thunderstorms? Hellfire? Acid rain? An over-exaggerated weather forecast, in Michigan? You don't say. It is pissing rain, but there have been complete breaks in weather. My hope that the show will go on (even after other dates on the tour cancelled for less) is going to hold out. Fuck yeah Michigan. 

Everyone who loves metal has an affinity for Slayer. They're the only band in metal that at shows for other bands, their name is yelled instead.

This shit has been going on since the 80s. Hell, the first time I went to Harpos people screamed "Slayer!!!" the entire fucking night. It took me forever to understand this. I was 16, I didn't have a clue. I figured it out after one of the dudes in line said "I get that people always say Slayer at shows, but metalheads say that shit too much sometimes..."

Before heading in I’m spotted by one of my favorite photographers and people I’ve met doing this shit, Mirak. He is a fucking champion at this shit. I’ve loved his work since long before I met him and well before I was at these types of shows. I highly suggest getting to know the dude as he was shooting for the ampitheater that night. We hung out in his car and shot the shit about how we both got denied on the first leg of the tour, and hopefully how the weather would hold up. Cheer Mirak!

This is a full circle moment for me on a massive and inspirational level. Almost 20 years ago at the same venue (different name) I watched Slayer lay waste to Pine Knob at Ozzfest 99. Now I'm sitting in the Arbor at DTE Energy Theater, anxiously awaiting my trek with my shitty fucked up foot down amphitheater steps to photograph Cannibal Corpse opening for the metal gods Slayer.

This is what music is all about.

This feeling I have inside me that is part anxiety part overwhelming emotion about not deserving this part absolute excitement.

Fuck. 

Coming down the steps revealed the largest Cannibal Corpse banner I've ever seen. Kings of Floridian Death Metal deserve such a display. As the group walked out I noticed Corpsegrinder had popcorn set out for him on one of the bass cabs. As baked as I am right now I only could think of one thing... "I wish George would hand me that right now, I could crush some popcorn."

They ripped into "Evisceration Plague" . This crowd is loving the Florida-five-some and I'm finding it as hard as the last time I photographed these dudes to not dance like Ace Ventura Pet Detective.

The song stuck in my head for days was the brutal "Red Before Black". It sounds like getting your innards spread on a Twister mat and played with by laughing cretins. Anyone up for some blood sausage?

By now my janky ass foot feels the worst its felt yet. It seems like its gonna continue to feel like complete shit for a while.

They ripped into "Evisceration Plague" . This crowd is loving the Florida-five-some, and I'm finding it harder than last time I photographed Cannibal Corpse to not dance like Ace Ventura Pet Detective.

The song stuck in my head for days was the brutal "Red Before Black". It sounds like getting your innards spread on a Twister mat and played with by laughing cretins. Anyone up for some blood sausage?

By now my janky ass foot feels the worst its felt yet. It seems like its gonna continue to feel like complete shit for a while. Although the adrenaline is coming in and out and making me forget about it.

Its pretty wild that while shooting I was able to focus on Amon Amarth and the shots I wanted to get. Their stage setup is incredible. Excellent lighting. Silk banners that set the 3d centerpiece viking warship the fuck off. 

The Swedish quintet come out to a massive roar and gave us an aural beating via "The Pursuit of Vikings". The power behind this band is felt in the bottom of my gullet. Improving my DNA and making me stronger as I write this. Foot pain. Ill fucking deal with it. Is it broke? Who cares. Is this going to affect me shooting the rest of this concert? No. Will it affect my walk between the media meet up area and the photo pit? Yes, definitely. But once I'm there. Its not gonna matter. 

Amon Amarth set the next tone by bringing an even bigger crowd than CC. Rowing pits. Driving pounding brutal melodic death metal music echoes throughout the entire DTE Energy Theatre complex. Along with the deafening crowd roars after each song, this band is gaining fans by the second. All of this makes me look at my foot like "you son of a bitch". Even the rips from my cbd vape pen are not helping. Neither is pointing and yelling, ROWWW!!!

Lamb of God. I've waited to shoot them for a long time. They were on my first list of bands that I wanted to work up to shooting. When I made that list, it was a pipe dream. It was so far-fetched to me.

I love how much they give back to punk and hardcore via metal. Their start came from a world drenched in NYHC and the original DC Hardcore. Being from Virginia it only makes fucking sense. 

I can feel that vibe more and more every second we get deeper into their set. Randy is jumping like he is fucking 19. Mark is headbanging like he's back in a VFW hall in the early 2000s. This is the energy I wish more metal bands had.

I understand that some can't move much because their technical prowess limits their movement. Although, my preference is a band that gives all their energy on stage because that sends a vital message to crowd-goers.

YOU BETTER GO HARDER THAN WE ARE ON STAGE. YOU PAID FOR THIS SHIT. GIVE YOURSELF THE RELEASE YOU DESERVE!

Omerta. Omerta. Omerta. Brutal Lamb of God has not lost a step even though the world has tried to trip them up over the years. Even though this is not the full lineup with Art Cruz filling in for Chris Adler on drums. This is so fucking satisfying to my younger self, that I gotta stop and just enjoy a few seconds of it. I've seen them a handful of times over the years, but never this fucking close.

Randy making it up to the drum riser and jumping off swinging his dreads like the next generation of die hard Bad Brains fans. Mark's consistent headbanging through shredding like a virtuoso has my brain needing a fucking repair, possibly a full fucking replacement. Shit's so blown. With sod in the air, mud flying, and mosh pits breaking out all over the hill, the only way to up this shit is with Slayer.

How the fuck am I supposed to shoot Slayer now boys?

The first time I saw the legends that are Slayer, I was a teenager. I was with my Dad and Aunt and Uncle. I headbanged with my Mexi-Fro through their entire set. I watched Deftones, Slayer, Rob Zombie, then Black Sabbath. The day was my 2nd Ozzfest of 5 annual trips to Pine Knob. I didn’t have some prophetic feeling that I would photograph this shit or play on this stage as a drummer. I just knew it felt so unbelievably comfortable there.

A metal festival made me feel at home after a decade and a half of feeling outcast and awkward as fuck. Still to this day, I get that same feeling, I experience this shit every time I go shoot. It’s how I know 20+ years later that I was right in thinking this was my life. Slayer fits in there on so many levels.

As I sit here at a picnic table with 2 very kind Canadian gentlemen photographers, I realize that this has always been waiting for me. Waiting for me to take the dive. Waiting for me to take chances. Waiting for me to take the next step and try for massive gigs. Gigs I’ve only been denied for before. I can’t help but think “Do I belong here? All these other dudes are shooting for newspapers or magazines or the venue itself or the tour. What the fuck am I doing here?”

Then it fucking hits me.

It’s time.

We gotta head down to the stage and await tour securities final approval for photo pit entry. My fucking mind is racing. The whole amphitheater is fucking packed with drunk, stoned, drugged up metalheads and as we make the final trek down to wait, I lose all anxious emotion and say to myself “One of the Big 4, thank them by nailing some photos’’ and unleash one of the loudest crowds I’ve ever been in front of.

So far the most important band I’ve ever photographed. Their influence is felt all over the world. They have a quintuple leg final tour going on for fucks sake. There are so many people screaming elongated “SLAYER!!!!!” and then I see them walk out on stage, from side stage. They drop the first curtain and it gets even louder. Halfway through the double kabuki drop and I’m already shooting.

Slayer logos pop up on the silk screen at the front of the stage. All of a sudden massive pyro blasts go off and I can feel the heat 100 feet away. They start ripping into “Delusions of Saviour” and then more fire blasts and the silk screen drops. A dozen crew members catch the silk screen and bundle it up and run it out of the photo pit. A bad ass looking mother fucker gives us the okay and we are in the pit to Slayer rapidly punching the crowd in the face aurally like the heavyweight champions of metal they are. I make my way through the pit all the way to Kerry King and just start blasting off shots. The fire blasts are so much more intense than when we were standing on the side wall. I'm literally the closest person to Kerry on the face of the planet and I don’t know if I have fucking eyebrows anymore.

I feel like I’m fucking 16 again.

I can’t believe I’m doing this shit.

There is so much fucking headbanging going on that I can finally ignore the stench of 15000 stinky Detroit metalheads. Present company definitely included. Watching this band go off, sans Paul Bostaph as I can’t even see him behind the massive drum kit. I failed fucking miserably even being able to see Paul, let alone get a shot of him. Slayer doesn’t let up. The songs come rapid fire. How the fuck are dudes approaching 60 still commanding a full amphitheater? God damn, I can’t even understand the level this shit is on. Slayer sounds even better than in 99.

How the fuck is this possible? Why the fuck is this the end? Holy shit. As happy as I fucking am shooting this show it’s already starting to hit me that even two songs in and we’re almost done. This is it. No more fucking Slayer here ever again. No more.

I stop just like I did earlier in the day. I just watch for a good 45 seconds. This is absolute insanity. It’s also complete fucking harmony too. Everyone at this show is connected to this shit. Even the puking elder, even the little kids who are there because of their parents, even the security guards. You can feel the energy. I know it’s super fucking hippy to say this shit, but it seriously feels like we’re in a bubble.

Next thing I know, I’m hobbling my way to my car damn near on cloud 9. Slayer had slayed Michigan one last time. The most brutal of the Big 4 gave us one last insane show and sendoff. My drive home was one of the best I’ve ever had in my life. I can’t say if there will be more North American dates in the future or if they will extend the final tour or not. What I can say is this, if you missed this and are upset about it, you should be upset about it.

For one, I’ve never seen greener grass on that hill, and also it get completely destroyed by the end of the night. Two, it was an insane lineup from start to finish. Three, tickets were like 29 bucks for lawn. Four, the Big Four. It was one of the Big Four saying goodbye and you missed it! So, do yourself a favor and check out the photos below. Oh, you were there? See what we saw from our view. If you feel the love, spread it, and share this link with your friends!

Give Slayer, Lamb of God, Amon Amarth, and Cannibal Corpse your follows and your love. These dudes have all influenced modern music in so many ways. This wasn’t just a final Slayer show, this was a fucking homage to metal and it’s different sounds…

You have Original Florida Death Metal, Swedish Melodic Viking Metal, Virginian Metal Core, and the god damn kings of like 7 metal genres. How many genres just don’t fucking exist without Slayer? I doubt Black Metal even comes up. I doubt Thrash really gets its metal edge. Does crossover? What about Speed Metal? Does that even make it out of the 80s?

After Sabbath, the Big Four are there. Slayer can easily be argued for the reigning metal lords. No wavering, just beat the shit out of us for almost 40 years. Slayer isn’t dead yet. The tour continues, and the music will never ever cease to impact, inspire, and give intensity to new generations of music.

Cannibal Corpse and Amon Amarth

LAMB OF GOD

S L A Y E R

SLAYER OFFICIAL SITE LAMB OF GOD OFFICIAL SITE AMON AMARTH OFFICIAL SITE CANNIBAL CORPSE OFFICIAL SITE

ALL PHOTOS AND WORDS BY SHERBURT REYNOLDS FOLLOW ILTOS ON INSTAGRAM

[theadasave]

kavi’s house

NULL - 10/03/2017

"Aww. Still in a mood? Baby, baby, I'm sorry. Please take me back." He hovers after Kavi. "If it makes you feel any better, picture me in panties. It's making me laugh on the inside."

Barbor - 10/03/2017

Bor flies up to land on the counter top but they dip away from their path and only managed to land on the side of it, they were having a giggle fit all the way there. "Oh sweet satan I don't think I can unsee that now, pff-aahahah!"

Lunch - 10/03/2017

"I'm not taking you back until I'm finished changing! Get your pantied ass OUT of my ROOM!" Kavi tried to not imagine it.  They were TRYING to retain their foul mood and be all scowly.  Unfortunately, it's failing fast, so they're doing their best to get Bill out before they break into giggling.

NULL - 10/03/2017

Bill backs out of the room, but giggles manically as he does so. Manical giggling in panties. You're seeing it. He knows you are.

Lunch - 10/03/2017

Kavi slams the door shut, then breaks into helpless laughter immediately, slumping against the wood as they wheeze.

Lunch - 10/03/2017

Kavi emerges a small while later with some new clothes on, as well as a backpack over their shoulder.  "Right, good to go.  Except for the mental image that just scarred my psyche, of course.  Hop on up when you're ready, Bor!"

NULL - 10/03/2017

"Right, here are the locations!" A display opens on his "chest" area with the appropriate coordinates. From the cabins to the woods, apparently.

Lunch - 10/03/2017

Kavi leans in to stare at the ChesTV, memorizing it as best they can.

NULL - 10/03/2017

He displays some images of the areas as well, just be to sure.

Barbor - 10/03/2017

Bor isn't even paying attention,  this isn't their job to do they're just tagging along to sight see and grab some grub.  that's a half lie, they can't see the images, their vision both in bug and out is incredibly shitty

Lunch - 10/03/2017

"Right, think I got it."  Kavi waits for Bor to board on up, then lifts their right forearm.  They begin to trace a pattern of runes, mumbling soft nonsense words and frowning hard as they focus in and-- POOF.

Lunch - 10/05/2017

Kavi takes a moment from putting away groceries to step outside and SCREAM.

Barbor - 10/05/2017

Hears the scream and throws their voice to sound like it's coming from the forest, it almost sounded like it came from another human.

Lunch - 10/05/2017

Kavi RUNS OUT OF THEIR ROOM.  They still have some weed pajama pants on and an overly large t-shirt with a ghost that says "I'M HERE FOR THE BOO-S". "LET'S DO IT."

Barbor - 10/05/2017

Barbor jumped off from the second floor balcony and roughly headbutts the door open, their tail thrashing from side to side excitingly. "FUCK YEAH! THOSE SQUIRRELS ARE GONNA GET IT!~"(edited)

Lunch - 10/05/2017

"GRAB ON." Kavi shoves their arm towards Bor, ready and raring to go.

Barbor - 10/05/2017

The baph  dashes towards them and jumps in to the human's arms, sure they're heavy but Kavi has mechanical stuff attached to them, it shouldn't be too bad.

Lunch - 10/05/2017

Kavi's STRONK like Russian bull.  They heft Bor over their head and activate the runic inscriptions on their arm, poofing the both of them away.

Lunch - 10/06/2017

Kavi is outside with a huge grill and a huge smoker.  There's a fresh rack of unicorn ribs on the grill at the moment, drizzled in sauce and roasting away.  UNICORN COOKOUT.

Barbor - 10/06/2017

The baphomet was sitting outside gnawing on a unicorn femur as they waited for those ribs to be done, and they heard of rumors of unicorn flesh tasting like your favorite thing in the world and boy they weren't kidding. "Oh man that stuff smells so goood~"

Lunch - 10/06/2017

"Right? Man, we should've done this sooner.  Remind me to go on regular killing sprees, those steaks last night were the best thing I've ever had."

Barbor - 10/06/2017

snrk "Remind you?~ I'm gonna drag you along when ever I go hunting!~ But I gotta hunt more mythical beings though,  it's way more rewarding then killing the normal stuff."(edited)

Lunch - 10/06/2017

"Hell yeah! What do you think we should try hunting next?  I've got a cool new weapon design I wanna try out."

Barbor - 10/06/2017

"How cool are we talkin? like that sploody type of cool or something different entirely?" They tapped the bone on their chin in thought.

Lunch - 10/06/2017

"I dunno.  Maybe a giant cyclops?  It's based on a bow 'n arrow, dependant on energy rather than a projectile.  Hoping it'll do less exploding so I can actually gather meat.  Maybe it'll even cook it in the process!"

Barbor - 10/06/2017

The baph perked up their ears to hear that this new weapon could take on cyclops, even probably cook it "Damn that is pretty cool~... I'm actually torn between a manticore and that cyclops."

Lunch - 10/06/2017

"Ooooh, manticore sounds cool too..." Kavi rubs their chin thoughtfully with one hand, the other grabbing the ribs with some tongs and flipping them over.  Sizzle sizzle. "Maybe we could take a look at some books and see what we wanna fight? Then we can make a list or somethin'. Maybe roll a dice to pick?"

Barbor - 10/06/2017

The demon's nose twitched and wibbled as the smell of the unicorn meat filled the air again, "I'm not gonna lie, but it sounds like we're making a hit-list of some sorts and that's fricken cool.~" "Make a list of twenty and roll to choose? Sounds good. Though what if some mythical police starts noticing this? What do?"(edited)

Lunch - 10/06/2017

"I mean, I've never heard of any kind of mythical police.  Well, not any inter-dimensional ones, at least.  I should be fine here."  Kavi shrugs, pulling the ribs off the grill and plating them. Some corn cobs go on next.  Gotta have veggies! Plus, roasted corn is the shit, man.

Barbor - 10/06/2017

"Haha, nice!~ This place is like our nice little hide out, grazie vuoto(thank you void)!~" they cheered while motioning their bone in the air gleefully the demon's stomach grumbled and seeing the human guard the meat like this they huffed and crossed their arms.  Wait are they putting vegitables on the grill? EWW?

Lunch - 10/06/2017

"Hell yeah! Plus I can use some of that unicorn hair, maybe? Iunno."  They shrug, turning the corn and banking the flames a tiny bit.

The grumbling stomach prompts a siiiiigh-- and they finally relent.  Kavi tears off half of the rack and tosses them to Barbor.  "Catch 'em!"

Barbor - 10/06/2017

The demon's floppy ears lifted up  to hear the sigh and once those rib pieces start coming at them,  Barbor leapt up and caught the ribs in their mouth. "* Grazie Kavi.~*"  the ribs is gone bones and all, even the bones they were gnawing on is gone.

Lunch - 10/06/2017

"So, what's that you're speaking, by the way?  Sounds a little familiar, but I'm not really recognizing the words.  Close to spanish though, maybe?"

Barbor - 10/06/2017

"It's just italian, you were kinda close though, spanish and italian share a lot of similarities actually.~"  nod nod.

Lunch - 10/06/2017

"Niiice! Is that your original language?" Kavi pulls the corn cobs off the grill and moves to a nearby lawn chair.  They plop down with a hard cider, some ribs, and some corn.  MONCH.

Barbor - 10/06/2017

This is a good picnic, what's better then eating something you killed the day before with friends? Not much?

"Yeah! It is, my old mom and pop wanted to teach us both languages would help more then just knowing one." Bor chuckled and grabbed themselves a bottle cider of their own. "How about you dude?"(edited)

Lunch - 10/06/2017

"Oooh, nice! Nah, I only know a bit of Latin.  Useful when dealing with demons and ghosts, y'know?  But I'm pretty useless when it comes to language." They give a bit of a sheepish smile, then start to tear into the ribs.

Barbor - 10/06/2017

"That's still cool though!  I guess it means you can understand me when I say something demonic, hehe~" Bor took a swig of the hard cider, "I could teach you some more latin, well that's if you want it."

Lunch - 10/06/2017

"Sure, dude! I'd love that.  Some Italian too, maybe? Then I can sound like one of those mobsters you wanna be." A cheeky grin is tossed towards Bor.

Barbor - 10/06/2017

"Hah, that'll be great! We'll be a couple of mobster goons working under a dapper ranch dorito~*" Snrk! it sounds so silly right now but these two just rallied some friends to kill some fancy horses for fun.

Lunch - 10/06/2017

"Hell yeah! I bet I could make us some tommy guns or something..." Kavi taps their chin and mumbles to themself, something about mechanics of rapid-fire energy projectiles.

Barbor - 10/06/2017

"Oh man, I remember using that on a person who thought it was a good idea to send a "message" to my dad by killing me and my sibs," the baph placed their hands on their cheeks and purred delightfully.  "That man was riddled with holes when we were finished with him, dude.~"

Lunch - 10/06/2017

"Then we could do some real drive by's!  Pewpewpew!" Kavi mimes shooting a tommy-gun, using a rib bone as a prop. "You ever give someone cement shoes, dude? That's like, the one I always hear about when someone talks about mobsters."

Barbor - 10/06/2017

"YES!~" they pound on the table but not enough to disturb the human eating, "Fuck yeah for real drive by's!!" "Oh the cement shoes? Kinda, I didn't do it per-say? I was there to see it happen though, but it was only only a hand full of times since my dad isn't fond of putting dead guys in water, he felt it might be too easy for cops to find the dead body if they're looking hard enough."(edited)

Lunch - 10/06/2017

"Niiice.  I can see why it might be too messy, though.  Eventually the muscles around the leg will rot and the rest of the body will pop free and float away.  That, or a fisherman catches 'em." Kavi snickers at the thought.

Barbor - 10/07/2017

"Dude, that's usually the case and whenever one comes floating up in the river some of us would wonder 'Shit,  is that one of ours?'"  The demon cackles  before taking another swig of the cider. "But thankfully no fishermen found any, it still could be the case though!  Most were smart enough to keep their mouth shut."

Lunch - 10/07/2017

Kavi shakes their head, immensely amused.  "Can you imagine? Going out for a nice bit of fishing and BLAM.  You hook into some poor dead fuck's rotting nose holes and think you've caught the big one, then have the shit scared out of you when you finally land it."

Barbor - 10/07/2017

The demon was so close to drinking off the rest of their hard cider but they burst out laughing  as they imagine such a scene happening.  Sure they'd be scared shirtless of it playing out that way when they were human, although now it sounds like a great prank to use on a mortal when they're bored. "Kavi, holy fuck! That's hilarious!~"

Lunch - 10/15/2017

--- Kavi is in a kitchen that seems to have straight up exploded.  There's butter and sugar everywhere, at least 5 ruined pans in the sink coated in black ooze, and one perfect pan of delicious looking caramel on the stove. They're currently grabbing some pretzels and chocolate and marshmallows to dip in the caramel.

Barbor - 10/15/2017

Barbor trotted over to where the smell was coming from and when they got to the kitchen, the demon's nose was assaulted by the smell of caramel, failed attempts at caramel, and ingredients to make the stuff. They were so confused, what kind of cooking battle went down in here? "Kavi? Why do I smell butter on roof? How did you even manage that??"(edited)

Lunch - 10/15/2017

"Uhhhhh.  I might have taken some drastic measures with attempt number three to try and stop the damn sugar from seizing up.  And by drastic I mean really drastic.  Explosions.  I used explosions."  Kavi's wearing the tattered remains of a 'KISS THE COOK('S ASS)' apron that's still somewhat on fire, but they're positively beaming over at the baphomet regardless. "But I got it right this time! Dude, lookit that.  It's like, fuckin' perfect."

Barbor - 10/15/2017

The baphomet's constant smile grew a little bit, showing their teeth just a bit is a good indication that they were beaming over this too. Explosions. They used fricken explotions to make this stuff. "You're insane you know that?" bor said that in the most lighthearted way possible, they came over and took a pretzel to dunk it in the sause. They gave it a taste... their ears perk up in suprise. "YOOOO!~ YOU DID IT!~ This is spot on!~"

Lunch - 10/16/2017

"Pretty sure that's true in every sense of the word." Kavi gave him a very big, very cheeky grin, which quickly just turned into proud beaming at the praise.  "TOLD YOU, DUDE! This shit is legit!  I'm glad I didn't give up on that last try, this shit tastes amazing! Dude, try doing this--" Kavi grabs a pretzel stick and stabs a marshmallow with it, then dunks both of them into the sauce.  Once they're good and covered, they pull them back out and shove that straight into their face, dripping caramel everywhere in the process.

Barbor - 10/16/2017

The demon tilted their head curiously to see what they were picking up, it looks like it was a pretzel stick and...  A marshmellow!~ If this goat could do those sparkly eyes right now they would, it's really getting hard not to just shove their face into the pot itself.   "That's genius!~ I wanna try that~"

They picked up a stick and a marshmellow to dunk it inside the caramel, but instead of dunking the marshmellow part in the pot Barbor dunked their hand into it too along with  the snack. "...Shit." they totally ment to do that.(edited)

Lunch - 10/16/2017

Kavi cackles with amusement, reaching over and ruffling the top of Bor's head.  "Just stick your whole hand in your mouth, dude.  I'm not gonna judge you, I'd prolly do that too." In fact, they do that right now.  Grab a chocolate bar, stuff their entire hand into the caramel, then pull it out and shove that hand into their mouth.

Barbor - 10/16/2017

Not getting reprimanded by a friend? Good shit right there!  If this place wasn't messy already the demon removed their hand from the pot and made a mess like how Kavi did before.  The goat demon was purring from having their head raffled but it got louder when they put their entire hand in their mouth along with their dipping pretzelmellow snack. It's hard not to nic themselves on teeth like barbor's but it's worth it the trouble for this yummy gooey goodness~

Lunch - 10/16/2017

Kavi's probably going to regret all this mess later but OH WELL.  They're having fun right now and that's what matters.  They show Bor how to melt a tiny circle in the chocolate by warming up the pretzel with some flames from the stove, then add it to the marshmallow kabob. "It's like a smore, almost!"

Barbor - 10/16/2017

Holy fuck, this human just blew this demons's mind! The demon took their hand out their mouth and exclaimed  "YOOO! What the heck! No 'almost' all smores are good, this one included!" "...Wait, what if we coat the entire thing in melted chocolate?"

Lunch - 10/16/2017

"Duuuuude! Hell yes! Let's try that!"  Kavi scrambles around for another saucepan, tossing a bunch of the chocolate bars inside.

Barbor - 10/16/2017

While Kavi is melting the chocolate, bor is getting the kabobs ready with the occasional crunch of a pretzel or two. "The smore kabobs are ready for dipping!~"

Lunch - 10/16/2017

"Chocolate is ready! I think! Good enough or whatever."  Kavi shrugs, then eagerly snatches up a handful of the kabobs and shoves the handful into the chocolate, though making sure their entire hand doesn't go in.  Shit's hot, yo. Then into the caramel it goes! There's some mixing going on now, but oh well. SHOVES THAT SHIT RIGHT INTO THEM MOUTH.  NOM."MMMM."

Barbor - 10/16/2017

Bor however used their telekinesis to lift up a glob of caramel and melted chocolate out of both pots,  the two orbs came together just as they spear it with the kabobs.  Regardless if the chocolate was hot or not the baph is gonna eat it in one bite. If this demon could melt they would right now, it's THAT DELICIOUS!~ They didn't say anything but let out a delighted whimpers and bleats.

Lunch - 10/16/2017

They're gonna get sugar highs at this rate, but Kavi don't care.  Kavi don't care about nothing right now, except this delicious shit right here.  SO MUCH FACE STUFFING.

Barbor - 10/16/2017

Even with a bunch of molten chocolate and caramel sauces coated kabobs stuffed in their mouth, Bor wanted to try other snacks with it too. So this demon raided Kavi's cabinets for chips, and once they got the lays chips this beast just pours the entire bag in there! IN BOTH PANS!!

Lunch - 10/16/2017

GLORIOUS FOOD CHAOS.  Kavi cheers him on and shovels some of those chips into their mouth.  HECK YEAH, SALTY AND SWEET UP IN THIS MOUTH.

Barbor - 10/16/2017

This whole feeding frenzy was clearly getting out of hand AND ITS FRICKEN WORTH IT!~ They don't even smell the failed attempts of caramel around the kitchen, hell why would they waste the chip bag too? The baph dunk it in the chocolate and ate that too! Man the stomach aches is gonna be a killer after this

Lunch - 10/16/2017

This kitchen has turned to MADNESS.  Tasty, tasty madness.  They're probably going to both be covered in caramel and chocolate and various other unidentifiable food bits by the end of this.  Kavi already has somehow managed to get chocolate into their hair.

Barbor - 10/16/2017

Jelly beans some how made it into this abomination of a snack fest, where did this goat get jelly beans and why is it sticking onto their cheeks?? They didn't even move from their spot and why is there so much chocolate and caramel sauce? Is this boi duplicating the stuff? THEY ARE! OH DEAR SATAN THEY ARE!

Lunch - 10/25/2017

Kavi bursts out of their room and runs to the fridge, ripping it open.  Thankfully, nothing ever bothers to rot while it's inside their little domain, so all the food they'd made earlier can just be pulled out.  The only reason they asked everyone to wait a couple of seconds was because they have to shove all the dirty pots and pans off the counter and into the sink.  Eh....they'll get to them eventually.  Plus there's a few things that need to warm up. They lay out a literal crapload of food, using one of the weird gadgets in their belt to zap stuff like the pizza back into the 'fresh out of the oven' range.  You name it, it's here.  This is one serious spread.  But once again, nothing ages here, so none of it will go bad if it's not eaten.

Barbor - 10/25/2017

Bor scampers in rather quickly, they knocked into a junk pile or a chair occationally while they'd head for the kitchen. And It seems that they were already ahead of the game, there was a big king sized chocolate chip cookie in their maw. The baphoment didn't really bother to eat it fully until he head made it towards the counter to pick up some soda and a good slab of peppered jerky cuz he needed a good chew once in awhile.

Snark MUNCH CRUNCH, there goes the cookie and full can of soda, and yes even the can itself.

NULL - 10/25/2017

Bill pops it and tosses his hands into the air. "Boy am I hungry! Ahahaha! That's a lie! Can you imagine? I'm just saying human things for fun." He floats over to the flood, eyeing it curiously. It doesn't appeal that much yet. Maybe once he's in a vessle that benefits from it that'll change.

Deve/Jenn - 10/25/2017

There's a crackle and POP as Ribbons follows Bill in, tracing Devro's ribbon to get her. She looks like a mostly normal human right now, thanks to her extensive glamour. "heya!"

Lunch - 10/25/2017

Kavi rolls both eyes, offering a hand out to Bill. "Get in here, you obtuse.  The whole point of this was to let you try food, s'what we discussed, remember?"  The other hand waves to Ribbons, then reaches out to give the top of Bor's head an affectionate ruffle. "Heya folks, feel free to stuff your gobs.  I got booze too if you want it."

Barbor - 10/25/2017

Bor bleats a muffled greeting to Ribbons and Bill while they chew and gnaw on the jerky,   they're so glad that most of this stuff wont make him feel full any time soon.

NULL - 10/25/2017

"Oh right. Okay! This might take a minute since you've got anti-possession measures in place, but since you've shaken my hand before I should be able to bypass them." He takes Kavi's hand with a bright flash of blue flame, then melds into them, leaving a small stone statue of himself behind in his place....yeah this is going to take a while. (3 possession)

Deve/Jenn - 10/25/2017

"thanks luv. booze's always welcome." Ribbons goes to grab some noms, zeroing in on any chocolate around.

Lunch - 10/25/2017

Kavi shakes Bill's hand, then zones out.  They try to help him get around the security they've laced into their body, but it's tough going.  ( 6 help ) Meanwhile, there's definitely chocolate on the counter! There's a giant pot of melted down chocolate right next to a vat of homemade caramel sauce.  Lots of little toothpicks surround it, with various things on the end to dunk in;  brownie bites, pretzels, marshmallows, angel food cake, frozen squares of cheesecake, popcorn.  You name it!

Barbor - 10/25/2017

The demon had an idea to get a medium sized bowl to put at least two or one of everything including a scoop or two of ice cream,  cuz they know they're gonna just keep coming back to the table for some more. After getting it filled they went in face first and chow down.~

NULL - 10/25/2017

It takes a while, but eventually, Bill's in! He blinks Kavi's eyes a couple of times and they turn a bright yellow with his very own slitted black pupils. A stiff, unnatural smile spreads across their shared face as he takes a few deep breaths and tries not to fall over. Their legs seem to help him keep steady, unlike the wobbly, fleshy legs most humans have.

Lunch - 10/25/2017

Yep! The actuators and pistons in the legs work overtime to keep Bill standing. This doesn't keep Kavi from being extremely amused in the back of their own mind, though.

Deve/Jenn - 10/25/2017

Ribbons takes care not to inhale food like most Doves would, savoring it instead. Hey she had two years of not starving. She has manners. Not to mention cheesecake-brownie-caramel is to be savored.(edited)

NULL - 10/25/2017

Bill takes care not to snuff Kavi out completely. They're able to act if they please. This is co-op time, unless they'd rather stay in the background to avoid conflicting actions. He's practiced at this though, able to predict his host's actions through their thoughts and compensate that way. "Oh boy! This is still as fun as I remember." He gets them steady in front of the table and takes in the sight and smell of all the food. He's not sure where to start!

Deve/Jenn - 10/25/2017

chocolate-covered cheesecake bite is offered by the chocolate fiend.

Lunch - 10/25/2017

Kavi had to take a little bit to get used to the sensations, mostly.  Once they've re-acquainted themselves with their own body plus one, they reach out and grab up a slice of fresh watermelon and take a big ole' hunking bite.   Chewed, swallowed, then they hand the reins over to let him try the cheesecake.

NULL - 10/25/2017

Cheesecake, bitten. He doesn't quite understand how to swallow with this kind of throat. Assuming that Kavi helps him with that, he manages with only a little trouble. For the most part, Kavi's preferences are passed to him. Same body, same taste buds, same chemical responses, with only a few exceptions. Bill is usually drawn more towards the sting spicy and sour foods more than his hosts.

Barbor - 10/25/2017

The bowl of snacks they've made was gone in a matter of minutes and now they're refilling it with their favorite snack, fruit cocktail with the charries~ they got back into their roach body for this and plopped into the mini pool of the syrupy goodness.

Lunch - 10/25/2017

"Booze is in the cabinet, I've got all kinds.  Feel free to make something for yourself, Ribbons.  Bor, what the fuck dude." Amused snorting. "Guess you're feeling cherry good in that." Kavi's not too fond of the sour, but spicy definitely seems to appeal to them.  Once they notice that Bill seems to like it as well, they grab a couple habaneros and chow down, then pass the reins fully over to Bill to check the reactions, grinning the whole while. (They also make sure to help with swallowing.  Gotta stay alive and all that. )

NULL - 10/25/2017

Straight peppers? Their eyes water up, and just when it looks like they're about to cry, Bill's laughter emerges from deep in their chest instead. It's a good laugh. An annoying laugh with some evil undertones, but when he's having a good time, everybody knows it. "Wow! Wooh... oh boy. Oops! Uh oh! Oh no!" He's laughing and wheezing, holding their gut all red-faced and a little... something else.

Deve/Jenn - 10/25/2017

Ribbon's eyebrows shoot up and there's maybe an ERROR or two flashing over her before she averts her eyes and goes back to stuffing her face. Cake? CAKE.

Barbor - 10/25/2017

The little roachie chuckled at the pun and decided to throw one in for themselves, but they were cut off to see Bivi laughing up a storm, and to them it's  a type of contagious laugh to get them into a giggle fit too.

Lunch - 10/25/2017

Kavi's laughing too much inside their mind to do much of any directing at the moment.

NULL - 10/25/2017

Alright, so he crunches down on one more raw pepper, letting the seeds sit on their tongue and burn away at it before swallowing all by himself. As inexperienced as he is, he's a quick learner. "Oh man. Now that was something new. Is there anything else that hits that hard?"

Barbor - 10/25/2017

"OH OH OH! TRY THE GHOST PEPPER!~"  Bor screed while flailing their little legs!(edited)

Deve/Jenn - 10/25/2017

"yeah, yeah that'll probably do ya if ya like that."

Lunch - 10/25/2017

"Oooh, I was gonna grab something else, but that's a good idea."  Kavi's back and grinning at Bor.  They go to the pantry and grab a tightly sealed jar.  It's popped open carefully, and one single ghost pepper is pulled out and popped into their mouth.  Whole. REINS GO BACK TO BILL.

NULL - 10/25/2017

Metal or not, those legs get shaky. Their sinuses start clearing out and Bill doesn't know what to do about that. FACE LIQUID? WEIRD. KIND OF GROSS. He sits down, plunks their forehead into the table, and makes some noises of intense mixed feelings.

Lunch - 10/25/2017

Kavi returns for one quick moment to request a napkin for the face liquids, pointing out the pile to Bor and Ribbons, then disappearing instantly.  Flop goes the arm.(edited)

Deve/Jenn - 10/25/2017

Ribbons reached over to gently patpat Bivi's back. There there, you poor masochistic fucker.

Barbor - 10/25/2017

Barbor is having a fine ol time,  who knew watching a dream demon's reaction to new hot stuff was so entertaining?  "Are you guys okay??"

NULL - 10/25/2017

"I'm great! Never been better!" As difficult as that was to say, it sounds sincere. He's doing pretty great. "I didn't think the point of eating was to experience extreme levels of pain, but hey! Who am I to complain?"

Deve/Jenn - 10/25/2017

"usually it's to experience extreme levels of pleasure but y'know, whatever floats your boat."

Barbor - 10/25/2017

"both is good! I ate some boiling caramel and that fuckin fun!"

Lunch - 10/25/2017

"It's not, I just thought your reactions would be hilarious.  And I was right!"  Sniggers, then stands and walks back over to the counter.  "Pain, pleasure, same thing.  My nervous signals are fucked to hell anyways.  One last thing to try..."

They grab a bottle of really really spicy cinnamon whiskey and chug.  Not the whole thing, but a few good swallows.  It probably feels GREAT in the mouth that just got tenderized by capcaisin.

Barbor - 10/25/2017

"Hey can you pour some of that into the bowl here? it'd be nice to have this stuff spiked a bit!~"

NULL - 10/25/2017

Bill presses a free hand to the side of their head and tugs at their hair a little. As soon as that whiskey's swallowed he's panting, lolling their tongue with watery, half-lidded eyes and a far off look on their face. This was weird from the start, but he's making it weirder, as he's prone to doing simply by existing at any given point in space and time. "More tingly stuff? That feels warm all the way down. I'm-"(edited)

Lunch - 10/25/2017

Kavi sniggers after he's finished speaking, turning and pouring a little of the whiskey into Bor's tiny swimming pool. "Sure thing, my dude."  They set the bottle down, then that weird look returns as the reins are given back over to Bill.

Deve/Jenn - 10/25/2017

Ribbons looks for something a bit smoother to mix in with soda. Rum and orange soda if she can find it.

Barbor - 10/25/2017

"Thanks!~" Bor stood on a peach boat and slurped up the sweet and spicy mixture. "OOooh man that's yummy~."

Lunch - 10/25/2017

There's some nice Bacardi in the cupboard and Fanta in the fridge for Ribbons!

NULL - 10/25/2017

Bill takes another chug of the whiskey all on his own. He's never been drunk in a human body before, and probably doesn't even recognize that that's where this is leading. Oops. His pupils fizzle for a moment then refocus with a smaller laugh that borders on a giggle.

Barbor - 10/25/2017

the bug lets out a small click while they're considering something, but after a minute of debating it the demon poofed up a bottle of Absinthe on the table. "hey try this too~"

Deve/Jenn - 10/25/2017

"oh boy. this oughta be good." She takes a good swig of hers. "oh, Bor, try this. tastes like an orange cream icecream bar."

NULL - 10/25/2017

Bill lets out a sharp gasp! "It's my second favorite color!" He takes Bor's advice, the brilliant dumbass, and has a big swallow of the Absinthe. He likes it so much that he tucks the bottle against their chest. It belongs to him now. All of it.(edited)

Barbor - 10/25/2017

The moment she said orange cream, he was already flying over to ribbons and dipping their head into the cup. They gasped softly in amazement "T-This is great!!"  They dunk their head in again to take another sip

Lunch - 10/25/2017

Kavi groans.  Ew, licorice.  "You're only allowed to drink that one while you're in charge.  Licorice tastes so bad."

[wait-what-no-way]

Interview with LADY ECHO

“Born in South Miami during the mid-1980’s, Emerald (also known as Echo or Lady Echo) grew up as the youngest and only daughter in a family of three boys. As a young girl, her favorite activity was riding on the back pegs of her oldest brother’s bike while being taught how to read the signatures of Graffiti artists from around their neighborhood. By 1994, Emerald had a “tag” and was learning how to use spray paint. In 1999, she began pursuing Graffiti and Art as a passion. She attended a pre-college program at Pratt Institute in New York City (just before 9/11) during the summer of 2001, receiving only a month of formal training in painting, drawing and art history. She has continued painting ever since. Many of Emerald’s works can be found interacting in public spaces throughout the United States and Europe, or rolling along freight lines from the United States to Mexico and Canada.” (Emeraldartstudio.com)

 So since your last interview in 2008, how has life been?

Life has been real! Lots of ups and downs in the past eight years. My best friend OiL died the year following that interview... I went into a bad depression. Poke BS, the only person in NYC who looked out for me at that time, died 8 months later. My older brother died a year and half after that.

In a span of 2 years, my protectors, the men who (although would give me so much shit in between us) wouldn’t let anyone fuck with me, were taken before I could realize how valuable they were. I spent the next several years in a bad place. It took a lot to figure out how to be happy again. I’m still kinda traumatized, I panic that the people I care about are going to die all the time. I panic that I’m going to die all the time – which is why I am constantly producing as much as I can. I don’t really party anymore, I don’t drink anymore, I don’t socialize very often, I stay in and I work on my legacy. I feel immense pressure to create while I still can. I feel immense pressure to leave things on good terms with people I care about as much as I can. I know how fragile life is, I’ve learned that even the strongest bonds are temporary, and I no longer take it for granted.

Also, since my last interview, Nekst - arguably one of the strongest American bombers in our current generation of Graffiti, passed away. Iz the Wiz passed away. Sace passed away. Countless other Graffiti writers have also died. Does this mean we, as Graffiti writers, are a culture of troubled people who will die young in higher percentages? I’m not sure but I’m well aware of the possibility.

Aside from that - technology has changed at a super rapid rate in the past 8 years. Smart phones became a thing, pay phones went extinct, social media emerged, instagram replaced Flickr (for me), information is being shared and spread at rates faster than ever before in our civilization, food (and nearly anything) can now be ordered through an app on your phone. It’s an interesting time to be alive!

 When did you start writing?

I learned about Graffiti as an 8 year-old in the early 90’s - and even had a tag, E.C.K.,  but didn’t actually start seriously writing until 1999.

 How many trains do you think you’ve painted since you started?

I honestly have no idea how many.. It’s gotta be in the hundreds, maybe even a thousand or more? It takes a lot of cars before you actually make a dent. I hope one day my panels get a catalogue raisonne like fancy artists do with their art works.

 What was your first train painting experience like?

Clumsy and inexperienced! Growing up in Miami, I spent most of my life in sandals. My dumb ass walked into the freight  yard with flip-flops and busted my big toe on a pile of rocks within 45 seconds of being in there.. My foot bled the entire time I painted, but I finished my piece - on a Chessie System coal car. I still have a scar from that day.

  Some writers love painting trains more than walls. What about you?

I prefer trains. I love smooth metal on clean trains but also love working on the rough, rusted surfaces of freights. Trains come more naturally to me than a clean wall. A panel that will end up moving with a train is more forgiving and less intimidating for me than a flat wall that will blatantly showcase any mistakes I make.

As an artist, what’s your favorite medium to use other than spray paint?

Stainless steel. I love welding and if you weld it properly, stainless steel will produce a rainbow of colors from the oxidation of the metal.

I also like epoxy resin, it allows me to make sculptures out of objects like used spray cans.

  What was the most thrilling experience you’ve ever had while you were out painting?

Hmmm. Graffiti is always kind of a thrill for me, regardless of how big, little or insignificant what I’m doing is.. There are different kinds of thrills for me with painting - some are fun, but some are hectic. Seeing my work running years later is a thrill for me. Discovering new mediums and new instruments is a thrill. Recently doing fire extinguisher tags thrilled the shit out of me - like, had me smiling all night and doing a little back-it-up dance kinda thrill.

Guess the most direct answer: I haven’t had a most thrilling experience yet, cuz I never know what to expect, the thrills just keep coming :)

 What type of music do you enjoy listening to while you’re painting a canvas or any type of work outside of the streets?

I listen to music literally all day (if I’m not listening to the news), it helps me work and it just feels necessary. I’m probably more into music than I am into art - even though I’ve never made music or ever had an interest in trying.

I listen to all kinds of music: Rap, Hiphop, Soul, R&B, Folk, Metal, Alternative, Jazz, Pop, Electronic, etc, etc, etc. Obscure stuff as well as super mainstream. Just depends on my mood or the feeling I need or want at the time. Music gives me a physical reaction, so certain songs feel better than others and sometimes I overdo songs that make me feel really good - to the point they no longer feel good and I can’t stand to hear them ever again.

My favorite song, since 1992, is “Minds is Playing Tricks on Me” by Gheto Boys - The melody really spoke to me as a kid and it can still give me chills if the mood is right. Since then, my other favorite is “In a Sentimental Mood” by John Coltrane.

My favorite albums of all time are “Live and Dangerous” by Thin Lizzy, “Ready to Die” by Notorious BIG, “Table Scraps” by MHZ (Megahertz), “Give Up” by The Postal Service.

I was going to start listing artists that I like but it would take forever. Instead, if people are interested in my music taste, they can check out the playlists on my youtube channel: youtube.com/c/emeraldartstudio. So far I’ve made 3 lists: Dance party station, Rap station and Soul station. I listen to these playlists all the time and I add to them whenever I have a free moment.

  What’s your favorite aspect of Graffiti? Is it piecing, hand-styles, throw-ups, or everything?

My favorite aspect of Graffiti is that one can never run out of surfaces on which to get up or instruments to do it with. I love tagging, I love throwups and I enjoy piecing too. It’s all fun to me, but some endeavors require more work than others. Tags and throwups are quick but require more strategy than a piece sometimes, even though a piece can be grueling effort-wise.

I prefer to paint super readable spots that will be seen in motion, whether the surface is moving (train, truck etc.) or the viewers are moving (trainline spot, highway spot, etc).

What’s you biggest motivator/ inspiration that drives you everyday to be creative?  That skirt you made the line of drips on was rad as hell.

My biggest motivator is death. Like I mentioned before, since so many people close to me have died unexpectedly, I have a panic inside of me that I’m gonna die very soon. I’m extremely concerned with my legacy and I think the work I leave behind is what matters.

As for inspiration - I’m just a creative person. My mind searches for that “new new” all the time. I like to experiment and try stuff that I’ve never seen, I like to put new spins on traditional things. Monotony exasperates me, I can’t even walk down my own street the same way more than a few times. I’m constantly exploring. I like to go where I’ve never been. I like to have fun and be silly, even if I’m alone, there’s never a boring day.

Glad you like the skirt with ink drips! It was a spin on an idea I had for photoshoot with black drips on skin, combined with my obsession for edding ink + the recurring theme of edding ink in my artwork. I wanted something funky to wear out that night and nothing in my closet was cool enough so somehow I had the idea of dripping black ink on my white skirt and took the risk. The dried ink was smudging at first so I sprayed it with rusto clear coat to seal it. The ink stained the vegan leather of the skirt, but the sexy surface black ended up cracking off by the end of the night. It was a one-time item, but very fun to rock!

  What’s the coolest place you’ve ever had the opportunity to paint in? (State, country, abandon spots wise.)

Hmmm… I think one of the coolest places to paint that I’ve come across is an abandoned factory in New Jersey - I have bad memory for some details so I can’t remember who took me to find it (maybe Tacoe). The factory had several floors, lots of walls, and old locker rooms for the workers, with a lot of stuff still in the lockers (including old porn magazines which I know I have photos of somewhere). For a while after we found it, I was the only person painting there along with whoever I selected from NYC to join me. I think I had like 5-6 pieces in there in the course of a few months. It was super cool to have an entire building painted with Graffiti that I basically got to curate.

Aside from that, I’ve had the opportunity to paint a freight spot that’s near the ocean. I’m a big fan of ocean, and a big fan of freights, so getting to combine the two is almost surreal. Imagine finishing an end to end, high as hell on paint fumes, looking up at the bright moon and stars, hearing ocean waves crashing as the moonlight melts onto your piece. It’s like a dream.

 What’s the creepiest thing you’ve ever experienced in an abandoned spot?

Never really had too many creepy things happen while painting, but the creepiest thing that’s ever happened in my life was on a “work” road trip with detour to the Grand Canyon. I was travelling with a friend, we were staying close to the monument the night before and had planned to visit  in the morning. We requested a room with two beds, but when we got to the room there was only one bed.. We soon discovered there was a door in the room which led to another room which had its own bed and bathroom. We assumed they either gave us the suite on purpose without saying so or that it was an accident, but we decided to use the second room either way.

I locked the manual door latch (which prevents the door from being opened even if someone has a key) and proceeded to wash my face and get ready for bed. B was in the room next to me and spoke to me thru the connecting door, told me he had to grab his shorts from the car so he could shower and would be right back. I was in the bathroom and heard a door slam closed.

When I finished I walked out, I heard B’s shower going next door but noticed the door latch on my door (in the second kinda sketch room) was open - which I thought was weird cuz B could have walked out of his own room - especially since we didn’t even know if we should be in the second room and he saw me make a point to latch the door when we first walked in.

I relatched the door and waited in B’s room watching tv. When B got out of the shower, I asked him if we could use his door only to go in and out of the room so that the door of the second room I was in would stay locked. I explained that when I got out of the bathroom my door latch was open and I was concerned someone could just walk in if they had the key.

“Emerald, but I didn’t go out of the door of that room. I went out of this door. Yours should have stayed locked, I didn’t unlock it.”

I looked at him in shock. “Are you fucking with me right now?”

“No, I swear.”

We both walked back into the second room and the door latch (which I had JUST reclosed) was open again. This time there was no possible way that B had opened it. We closed it again and watched to see if it was faulty and might open on its own. It didn’t. I got chills up my arms and tears started streaming down my face. B was in shock too, he didn’t know how to handle me crying but I could tell he believed I wasn’t fucking with the door latch either.

I ended up grabbing all my shit out of the second room and slept in the same bed as my homie that night. We both agreed it was probably a ghost and that the motel we were staying at had probably been built on some ancient Native American burial ground or something. I still get tears when I think of it. Creepiest shit ever.

 This is probably a difficult question to ask, but what’s the most monumental piece you’ve ever done?

Hmmmm… I hope I haven’t done it yet! I hope I still outdo everything I’ve ever done. I don’t want to be stagnant. I don’t want my highest achievement to be in the past, I want it to happen as often as possible.

 Most people probably wouldn’t know you have a dog unless they follow you on Instagram or actually know you. (Who, by the way is very cute.) What made you decide to get a dog and how has she changed your life

I’ve wanted a dog for a while and circumstances finally aligned for it to happen.

Also, after so many super disappointing experiences with disloyal people, I figured adopting a dog would be a safer bet than trying to connect with another person who betrays me. I rescued a pitbull mix and she’s changed my life in a lot of ways - it’s like having a kid, I take care of her before I take care of myself. She’s so smart and makes me laugh all the time with the things she does. She’s really strong and fast, but is the sweetest little thing ever + possibly a winner for the world’s best snuggler award.

I can’t imagine living without her but have already prepared myself for the fact that dogs have 13-15 yr lifespans. I get mixed emotions sometimes when I watch her sleep - relief and shock that they almost killed her at a shelter and then kinda sad knowing I’m probably gonna outlive her and that there will be no other creature just like her. Aside from that and all the work involved, having a dog is the coolest thing ever!

 What do your parents know about your Graffiti lifestyle?

My dad died when I was a kid, so I was raised by my mom and brothers. Yes, they know about it - in general, not necessarily all the details of what the lifestyle involves but they know I’m a writer.

When I was a kid, in the early 90s, my oldest brother wrote Graffiti and my mom was cool with it. She was cool with all his Graffiti friends hanging at our house, she even had her own tag, “Mom1” and would ask them to put her up + she would get excited when she saw them up on the highways or tags on toll booths etc.

When was 15 and started writing, and my mom found flicks, I got in so much trouble! It was OK for her son, but not for her daughter. I had to change my tag so my mom didn’t know what I wrote and I didn’t take photos of my Graffiti for the rest of the time I lived at home. During that time she found out (through one of my oldest brother’s friends) that I changed my tag to Echo but since she never caught me with photos, she could never prove any of the stuff she saw was done by me.

I moved out of her house before I graduated high school and after that she couldn’t tell me what to do so eventually I decided to be super open with her about what I was doing. In her attempts to finally have a close relationship with me, she was all of a sudden cool with it.

I remember when I lived in New Jersey at one point, she said she wanted to visit and do what I do - so I asked her if she was down to do backjumps on some subway trains and she said yes! I refused to take her but she insisted she wanted to spray. She’s never actually painted with me or really even made efforts to follow my work, but I have sent her flicks before and she has told me that she looks for “Echo” or “OiL” whenever she sees a train passing. She met OiL a few times and tells me that she remembers him fondly.

My oldest brother, who put me onto Graffiti to begin with, has reprimanded me a few times for writing on shit. Even so, I think he digs that I’ve gone so far with it and I think he respects my choices. I know he’s proud of me even if he doesn’t really think Graffiti is smart for me to do.

My older brother who passed way (I have three older brothers btw), never really liked it. He didn’t like that I would be out late at night with guys, didn’t like that I was going into train yards (with guys) and didn’t trust any of my guys friends - he was convinced my friends were going to sexually assault me or had already been trying to rape me in my sleep when I was on Graffiti roadtrips, etc.. On the other hand, he was also so amazed that I could get away with so much - like, statistically, he couldn’t believe how many times I had painted illegally and not gotten in trouble. I remember one night after telling him about a super-close call while painting in NYC, he was super stoned, got some sort of epiphany from my story, and explained to me, “The key to getting away with anything... is a girl.... All you need is a girl and you can get away with anything.”

What spots have you hit that you may have risked your life painting?

Ugh - recently did some seriously sketchy shit about 23 feet high on a ladder. The person I was painting with, who had just caught a fire extinguisher tag on the rooftop of a building - with security guard not far from us on the ground level - insisted that he could not bring the extinguisher down with him and that I needed to climb up and get it.

The logic of why he wouldn’t be able to climb down with the extinguisher and why I was able to do it made no sense to me -  but I needed him to shut up and get down, so I climbed up to get it.

The extension ladder was lifted to the max and still had a grip of space before the roof so he had to hand the extinguisher down to me from several feet above, and there was no chance of placing it into my hand - he was gonna have to drop it down (even tho there’s no logical or realistic way I could have grabbed it from the bottom). (As I’m typing this, I still don’t know how I agreed to do this). With one hand holding the ladder, I reached up above my head to have him drop a huge (way bigger than normal size) fire extinguisher into my small lady hand. I obviously couldn’t hold it and somehow (without falling off the ladder) repositioned the fire extinguisher mid-air, slid the bottom between my chest and the ladder and hugged it with my free arm and began to climb down. The entire time I was climbing down he kept going on: “Holy shit, you’re such a fucking gangster… You’re a fucking G.” I was shaking and my heart was racing from the adrenaline but I made it down safely and we didn’t get caught by the security guard. Definitely never doing that ever again.

New rule: You climb up with it, you climb down with it. Fuck that.

My final question… Are you a pizza or pasta gal?

Is both an option? I eat pizza and pasta more than once a week. If it’s a nice Italian restaurant I’m getting some form of pasta, but if it’s not boushie spot then I’ll go for the greasy pizza. Favorites: Joe’s Pizza on Carmine in Manhattan, Garage Pizza on Sunset in LA (yes, there’s decent pizza in LA!) and La Pizza on la Croisette in Cannes.

 Thank you for all of your time Echo!

Thanks for the interview! Super cool to follow-up with the same website 8 years later. I don’t do many interviews so these will be valuable one day :)

For those interested:

ECHO’s website: Emeraldartstudio.com

Instagram: @Emeraldartstudio

Facebook.com/Emeraldartstudio

OiL’s instagram: @crudeoilforever - All original flicks, no tributes!

Echo’s interview with Bombing Science in November 2008: http://www.bombingscience.com/echo-interview/

[themagiciansreccenter]

Author Spotlight @echomoon

Every week we are going to be interviewing a writer from The Magicians fandom. If you would like to be interviewed or you want to nominate a writer, get in touch via our ask box.

First things first, tell us a little about yourself.

what up im jared, im 19 and i never learned how to fuckign read. JK my name is Theo and I super know how to read. Most of the time. Also I’m 22. Anyway I’m one of the more OG members of the Magicians fandom, having been here since back in the early days of early s1. Uhhh I’m nonbinary and hella queer. Metafic is my most favorite thing in the world other than puppies. I cry at least once a day. I have adhd and depression and chronic pain and hella other issues. I’m an anthropology major, in my third year. I’m a slytherin, an illusions discipline, and a pisces.

How long have you been writing for?

Since I learned how, basically, but I only really started posting things online because of the Magicians and also because of Twilight?

What inspired you to start writing for The Magicians?

It’s the BEST and I find it very easy to write from Quentin’s pov which means I actually finish things sometimes lol.

Who is/are your favourite character(s) to write? What it is about them that makes them your favourite?

Quentin, because he is essentially me if I was born as a cisdude except more repressed in terms of sexuality and also more wealthy, which makes him super easy to write and super easy to get ideas about. I also like Penny, because for some reason people think I’m good at writing him?

Do you have a preference for a particular season/point in time to write about?

I write a lot set in the Brakebills years because I like the whole magic school thing and the exploration of magic and interpersonal relationships without having to deal with the Beast or other threats trying to destroy everything they know and love? Like I like that slow burn, spread out, things are happening but they’re happening slowly and also heres some meta about magic kind of exploration that that time gives me the opportunity to do. I think this is partially influenced by that the first book has them in that setting so much longer, and partially because I’m still doing the whole college thing myself and find that easiest to relate to (because no one really wants to read ‘Quentin working two part time jobs and struggling to survive and nothing else happens’ unless it’s just a tiny segment of the fic lmao).

Are you working on anything right now? Care to give us an idea about it?

Well, in regards to Magicians fic, I’m still trudging along on chapter two of Magician’s Path - I’m trying to introduce more of Julia’s side of the story as well as working on how to warp the two canons into each other while also making the storyline unique - and also on the next part of crazy/classic/life, my paradise kiss and magicians crossover au. I’m also trying to find the time to record more podfic of my fics, because I think its important to have audiofic available. But nothing new, just continuations.

As for other fandoms, I’m working on a HELLA long reworking of the Descendants universe (hi i love disney channel movies dont judge), and that’s my primary focus right now in terms of fic.

How long is your “to do list”?

Very

What is your favourite fic that you’ve written for The Magicians? Why?

Oh heck, um… probably either all tied up or The Magician’s Path. all tied up was my first time writing PiV smut and also writing shadeless!Julia and I’m just really proud of it? And TMP is like, my baby, my huge multichapter canon reworking that I’m putting so much planning into and I’m always so excited to talk about it. I know it doesn’t seem like much yet but y’all I have so many plans for it and I hope you end up loving it as much as I do.

Many writers have a fic that they are passionate about that doesn’t get the reception from the fandom that they hoped for. Do you have a fic you would like more people to read and appreciate?

TMP for sure - I hope that when I’m done more people give it a try.

What is your writing process like? Do you have any traditions or superstitions that you like to stick to when you’re writing?

Ha my writing process is either ‘has no ideas for months straight and then suddenly idea when I’m supposed to be doing something else but I gotta write this down!!!’ or ‘one sentence every month at most’. Now that the FTB server has gotten bigger, I’ve found some people who will proofread for me, so there’s that editing process afterwards (thanks @oneeyeddestroyer for being the best beta).

I guess my only superstition is that if I’m doing a multichapter or big work I try not to give too much detail out when I talk about it because I get worried that saying about the plot too much will make me lose interest in it.

Do you write while the seasons are airing or do you prefer to wait for hiatus? How does the ongoing development of the canon influence and inspire your writing process?

I do tend to write more when the show is airing, because more people are engaged and it’s something to fill the void between episodes - during hiatus I tend to drift away a bit and focus on other fandoms. This is the first show thats been so all consuming for me, I don’t usually watch things while they air because I tend to forget about remembering to watch them after a week or so? But Magicians keeps pulling me back and keeping me in.

As for ongoing canon developments, it really depends on the thing. If it fits into my plot of it’s a detail I want to put in, I might, but otherwise I’m comfortable lifting what I want from canon and throwing the rest out for a fic - we follow a show with canon multiverses, we can do what we want lmao.

What has been the most challenging fic for you to write?

Honestly, most of my fics? Because I try to improve every time I write and like, explore new things. So whatever I’m working on at the time is the most challenging.

Are there any themes or tropes that you particularly like to explore in your writing?

EVERYONE BEING HAPPY AND NOTHING BAD HAPPENING EVER cough cough I mean, um. I like meta, I like worldbuilding and exploring meta and seeing what I can change. I keep accidentally writing soulmate fics? So that’s a trend I guess.

Are there any writers that inspire your work? Fanfiction or otherwise?

Oh heck, so many dude, I don’t even know, I’m gonna just link you to my bookmarks because that’s the fic I love and probably unconsciously imitate on the often

As for nonfic, like I def want to write like Marisha Pessl or Tamora Pierce or Donna Tartt or Lev Grossman or Mark Z Danielewski but more in his house of leaves phase than his current stuff tbh or Neil Gaiman and also like. Everything that you read or watch or experience makes up how you see the world and how you create what you create and I consume so much stuff I can’t even begin to guess my influences beyond the little tidbits that I keep in my bookmarks or on my shelves.

What are you currently reading? Fanfiction or otherwise?

Currently I’m reading a lot of harry potter fic - the mood is the department of mysteries or other exploration of magic, so things related to that. HP fic is my go to when I’m not revving for any fandom in particular. Nonfic, I’m working my way through Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell, which is hella fucking good, as well as a bajillion textbooks.

What is the most valuable piece of writing advice you’ve ever been given?

Fuck canon do what you want

Cringe time:

Are there any words or phrases you worry about over using in your work?

Yes but now that you ask can I remember any? Nope.

What was the first fanfic that you wrote? Do you still have access to it?

Oh shit dude I don’t even know. The earliest one I can remember was this like, post twilight self insert fic where the cullens came to my middle school for some reason? I barely finished the intro of it iirc but it might still be in my stack of papers in my old room somewhere.

Rapid Fire Round:

Self-edit or Beta? Beta (always get a beta kids! They’re worth their weight in gold)

Comments or Kudos/Reblogs or Likes? Comments!! (please, leave me comments, i live for them)

Smut, Fluff or Angst? fluff

Quick & Dirty or Slow Burn? Slow burn

Favourite season? All?????? Dont make me choose

Favourite episode? Im stuck between life in a day or all that josh

Favourite book(The Magicians books)? Probably book 2, i love seeing julia’s side of things and exploring hedge magic

Three favourite words? BUTTS, lore, hearth

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