#gonna go 2 sleep after i post this bc . hot damn . tired of crying but not actuslly crying

[soft-spooks]

thinkigm about max backstory but its so painful bc my eyes hurt so bad i cannot write anythinf down

[survivor-tierradelfuego]

Ep. 11: “Do you all think I am just floating over here with no one?” - Aimee

Amy A

Ben ☹️. I didn’t play too well with him and it was such a good blindside I couldn’t resist. I wish him well and I just have a feeling I’m next to go 

Olivia A

Okay umm we got Ben out but it turns out Kalle gave me a real idol? So I feel weird. The reason we began suspecting her of lying was because Hanuha people knew about Maddison’s safety without power advantage and Kalle was literally the only person who could’ve told them. IDK!!

Aimee

I’m just so tired of crying! Sarah tried to video chat and I just couldn’t. No one knew I don’t think that Ben and I were so close. Gaaaaah I’m gonna miss him so much! He just helped me so much to stay sane in this game. The last thing I need is anyone seeing me as a big hot mess. I can’t catch a break. 

Sarah

From two nights ago.... https://youtu.be/uebz8rVKNbg https://youtu.be/xQyiuiGeEpo

Pedro A

when i actually thought i was at the bottom........THERES EVEN A LOWER BOTTOM...THAT IM IN RIGHT NOW......chille ben screwed us BIG TIME....we were in a great spot..i dont even know what to say at this point

Sarah

Wow. Okay. I didn’t want to be a villain but here we are. I will post a video confessional soon but for now, the plan to vote out Ben actually worked. I called Maddison last minute and explained that Ben and Kalle were tight and were all over the place, playing both sides. Maddison found out that Kalle was a rat and was not being completely truthful and we both agreed on voting Kalle or Ben. We agreed on Ben because we thought Kalle was going to play her idol on herself.... turns out Ben was telling the truth in voting out Kalle to old Hanuha and Kalle actually gave Olivia a real idol. More to come... but for now I feel like a villain ahhh. 

Kalle N.

Well I said that my only goal was to make jury and not go to the FTC so it looks like Ben really helped me achieve that. THAT FOOL REALLY FUCKED ME OVER ON HIS WAY OUT THE DOOR. This is fine. I will never let him forget that I've beaten him twice now and that's all that matters. Did not see this tribal coming at all. Can't wait to get voted out next

Najwah

If I learned anything today is that we tend to read in and over think and make up scenarios in our head. Ben was actually on our side all along? Who would have thought. All the bits and pieces he told us today just didn't add up and Cody said he was different and everyone was just quiet and Ben didn't talk in the group, he spoke to people individually. I don't really understand what just happened but we wasted so much energy speculating lmao. And now where the hell do we go from here? Cody has become so paranoid also. The minute Ben told him that those people will be writing his name he became soooo paranoid wtf. Then he WASTED an advantage and idol at tribal? Just bc he still didn't trust the plan. I'm starting to think that Cody just can't trust anyone or any process. I really think he needs to chill more. Be more low key. Just try to be calm. If you get voted out, it's not like you're going to die or something. It's just a game after all. 

Aimee

Apparently tribe was getting too suspicious of how Ben and Kalle were so close. I still don’t get why I had to be left out of the vote though? Why can’t I get the respect to be told what is happening before the vote, so I have time to process my emotions and have my stuff together a little. https://immunityilol.tumblr.com/post/617448854807298048 Instead I get nothing. I get a call from Sarah right after Ben is voted out. Obviously I can’t answer it because I’m crying and no one knew I was super close to Ben. I’m just so angry right now first Grae now Ben! IS MADDISON NEXT!? FUCK! Like Gah I’m afraid to get close to anyone. But I just love getting to know people. I finally got to video chat with Maddison. Fucking loved it! She is great to talk to and great to have on this crazy skype isolation island. I need some interaction and realness right now. Ok I’m totally drinking. It’s hard enough to process all this nonsense sober. We will see what the next day brings. 

Aimee

Sarah I really don’t want us to end up like this Casanova music video. 😢💔 I guess everyone wants to blindside Aimee as a treat. I hope people got their jollies out of it. 🌟 Allie X - Casanova feat VÉRITÉ https://youtu.be/YpVunjboAWg

Sarah

From last night.... https://youtu.be/EirlyVVXDKk

Sarah

Day 21 https://youtu.be/aYiGStuSKDA

Pedro A

Im afraid Kalle will throw me under the bus...just to stay this week cause shes on the bottom....and im also afraid that maddison and olivia will try to convince kalle to vote me out...instead ....since they are coming for me ...GOSHHH..i hate my life...i need immunity...CAN I LIKE HAVE IT?

Pedro A

okay so im excited to see everyone's answers to this challenge...THIS WILL BE INTERESTING...it will reveal a lot of people real thoughts ..IM READY FOR TEAAAA YALL

Najwah

I enjoyed my day today. I think it's the first time I was fully in the real world in 22 days. I'm playing a reckless game right now. There are so many layers in this game but after last night's tribal and learning that Ben was being legit, I just feel bad. I love Cody but he's definitely a loose cannon and can't play low key. Which is definitely bad for my game. He and Sarah are trying to push me into getting Amy on our side, but our relationship just isn't like that. I don't want to make her feel used. I like her. I really like her a lot. I like Sarah too. And Cody. I want to be friends with all these people IRL lol so I don't want to play against them or lie to them. This game just gets harder every time someone gets voted off tbh but I'm at the point where I feel like "if my plan works, then great", "if it doesn't, then whatever. I get to chill on panderosa and get to sleep more and actually spend time with my family and friends who I've been avoiding since this started lmao" Also, I'd be able to work again. I haven't got much work done urgh. I don't know whether my super idol is real. I'm curious to see what tonight's challenge will reveal. I am not going in with any syrategy

Cody wants to go for Kalle and Pedro coz they voted for him? I don't know, I think that's kinda silly and I'm not about revenge. You have to think rationally. And we have made a few irrational choices of late because people read into things. I still wish Ben hadn't told Cody that everyone was voting for him. That's how so much of yesterday's shit started. I have been so tired since yesterday. Tired of the scheming and overthinking and being paranoid over nothing urgh. Aimee also wants to call me after the challenge. I'm kinda scared tbh. I had a dream last night that Aimee killed me lmao this game is haunting me and giving me nightmares. Honestly, I'd be okay if anyone left wins this game. Okay except Kalle. She's the only one I've not interacted with and she just seems dodge idk. Maybe I'm still thinking about Zack's stupid analysis on people. Anyways. 

Najwah

I'm happy for Maddison tbh. She deserved that. I just want to scream about Cody though? Why did Cody chop Aimee? Wtf. And that made Aimee chop Sarah before she chopped Amy or Maddison. I'm so confused. Ugh. 

Maddison

Apparently I don’t know much about this tribe. Yeet!

Pedro A

Villan of the season?....im honored...but bitter jury?...i didnt like that one..lol

Aimee

I chopped Pedro for Grae. 

I chopped Olivia and haha sorry I got so nervous on here that I just chopped the final chop, even though that was savage as hell... I called her a goat and then chopped her right out of the game. Oops hahahahaha. When I watch this challenge back I look like the C word with a capital C.... And that word isn’t “cartwheel.” I chopped Sarah for the Ben blindside. I chopped Amy for my mental health. I can’t lose Maddison! I’m so sick of being tortured that I truly am running out of fucks tbh. Just chop anyone, whatever. Why do I care...

Aimee

Ohhhh Najwah!!!! Don’t worry about not telling me about the vote or accidentally calling me a goat because you didn’t know the meaning. I think I would make a cute goat. https://nunyabizni.tumblr.com/post/615593098008035328 Love that you think I’m actually “the Greatest of All Time.” I adore you and our friendship 💖❤️💞 luv you girl!!! I know you’re truly being genuine unlike others. I’m waiting for this game to tip in our favor so we can run with it. https://youtu.be/TGwZ7MNtBFU This MV is dedicated towards Najwah after Cody swooped in and stole my final 2 with her. No hard feelings; I have my own stuff to sort out after my man Ben was voted out. I’m pretty confident you have a final 2 with Cody and I love that for you. 🧡💛💚 I’m happy y’all got together and are strong with Sarah. But here I am. Do you all think I am just floating over here with no one? Just not playing the game and grazing my grass over here like a “goat?” They really don’t know how close I was with Ben and they got stupid lucky on that one. I’m not as clueless as you all think... it’s in your best interest to reconsider. Also let’s not skip over the fact that Sarah and I both didn’t get an answer on touchy subjects for “who do you trust the most.” Yeah don’t think I didn’t peep that. 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀 Sarah didn’t put me and I didn’t put her. I put Maddison. Cody had 2 votes. Najwah and Sarah put him. I’m not dense. I guess Sarah is cool with being that 3rd wheel. Loving the fact that apparently no one has been seeing me reaching across the aisle for damn DAYS trying to play with Maddison.... oh honey, oh girl...oh no no ... that was just Ben right? Yeah. My final 2 with Ben is gone so I’m rogue and hoping I can get Maddison as far as possible with me. Also! Just letting you all know I’m not a damn chump. It’s SO OBVIOUS that Cody Najwah and Sarah have a fucking secret chat that they’ve been in since the beginning of all time, which included Zack. You’ve heard it here first folks. Oh and I’ve known this for at least a week or two. The tells are so blatant, but catch me pretending to have no idea. I’m not the goat that you think I am, but I would LOVE you to continue to think of me of a goat and forgettable. If you knew what I was doing I wouldn’t be allowed to get to the end. If I’m on any players radars then that means I am doing a bad job. So, I absolutely loved what this challenge revealed. I know way more than people think I know, but I am playing up the ditzy card hardcore. I would much rather prefer to be a stealthy sniper that people think is not playing. Give me a chance to explain my game in the final tribal and you might regret that. I have been doing all the same moves as Ben and same exact strategy.... he gets called a big threat and blindsided and yet here I am with identical strategy and totally left alone and tbh a little disrespected but that works to my advantage. Perception is not reality! This could be everyone’s biggest mistake and I honestly love it. I just want Kalle and Pedro out tbh. I got my big boobs and my positivity. I’m mind strong and I’m ready to get this. Your lady is never giving up. If you blindside me again it better be me that gets voted out. Otherwise you’re all in a world of fucking trouble... https://64.media.tumblr.com/0389c791f095d54973543b32d4414577/984582d2a107588c-89/s540x810/c10ec7b961de2fd3b693a886ea7385b04ed3d653.gifv

Najwah

I am still tired. LOL. Amy L still hasn't replied to me. I think she hates me right now and I burned the bridge with her, which I'm obviously sad about because it's the only bridge I really cared about? Like she's the only person who I was 100% sure about and we've always respected each others allegiance to their alliances. Anyway. What does it matter now? I'm going to let Cody and Sarah make a plan with this tribal scrambling. Oh Cody said the reason he chopped Aimees rope is because he didn't want her to win immunity again lmao so he rather chops someone in his own alliance wtf I can't get over that fatal mistake. That and playing the extra vote and idol😭😭 ugh and I think people assume I am his goat or something lmaooooo I absolutely adore Cody but I really hope he doesn't mess things up for himself. Sarah wants me to get coins for them to buy an immunity idol. Do I really want to waste 5 coins again on someone whose just going to get paranoid and play it? I don't know. I need to think on it. 

Aimee

Welp I finally told my first lie in this game and hopefully it’s not my demise. I guess it’s my turn to be messy. I’m still coping with Ben being gone. 💔😢😫 Why the nut, did I tell Pedro I want him here. It was definitely too much alcohol and worried if he had another idol I would be the throw vote. Welp we will see if he throws that info all over the island. https://64.media.tumblr.com/d9f98e355c7e9229777fa982551cfd7e/tumblr_nr72mkoPHr1rs8h9do7_250.gifv https://64.media.tumblr.com/d37a2b6f76f83c1beaca2ca2bac6bb72/tumblr_nr72mkoPHr1rs8h9do3_250.gifv I’ve made peace with it though. This lady ain’t stopping, but if this puts me in jury. I’m honestly excited! I’ll finally get to talk to James, Grae and Ben again! And that makes my heart warm. ♥️ 

Pedro A

I'm probably going home tonight....kinda done with this.....I'm exhausted and emotionally drained from this experience.. I just wanna chill...at the end of the day its either me or kalle....so may the odds be in my favor!!

Najwah

I'm nervous about this vote. Apparently Maddison and co are willing to work with us to get Kalle out. I don't know how legit it is but I'm tired tonight and I just think I should do an early vote before people change their minds. 

Amy A.

So we had the game yesterday and there was a question about ‘closest Ally’ and no one chose me. I’m not really bothered about everyone else except NAJWAH. She didn’t choose me! I was the only one who chose her cos her name came just ONCE. Whoever she ended up choosing as her closest ally didn’t even choose her. It’s made me real life sad because I trusted her so much. Honestly, I didn’t even think twice about putting her name down for closest ally. I haven’t even spoken to anyone about tonight’s vote. Idk who I’m voting for but I know it’s not her cos I promised her that. That’s the only reason. Maybe I’m the one going home. I don’t know. 

Maddison

Let’s hope for a straightforward vote tonight with no unforeseen twists!

Aimee

https://youtu.be/m4Z0RN_KhK0 A flow mobz - thrill over fear (feat. luna blake) Omg I couldn’t sleep last night and I just woke up being bitchy about Pedro. I don’t think he actually has anyone besides maybe Kalle. My walls are up and I just want this vote to work in my favor and be Kalle. I hope there are no hard feelings after this game. I just want to get to know everyone during all this covid madness and have some fun. 🌈

[sadlittlenerdking]

My ‘The Magicians’ fic masterpost

So, I’m just gonna start adding all my Magicians fic here as a masterpost . . . it’s mostly Queliot, but there’s also stuff focusing on the Quentin x Eliot x Margo friendship dynamic, and idk what else I’ll end up writing at this point. 

Comfort - Margo and Eliot realize they care about Quentin while they’re trying to comfort him.

Untitled drabble - Quentin comforts Eliot after Eliot kills Mike.

Misguided - Oneshot about Quentin getting texts from a mysterious stranger.

Magicians Moon - drabble turned oneshot. Eliot’s a secret romantic. 

Untitled drabble (Spooning) - Eliot and Quentin spoon. 

The Death of Magic (Rains Hell on Us All) - Magic is dead in Fillory and Eliot refuses to accept it because it means he’ll never see a certain someone again.

 another untitled drabble - Quentin checks on the clock after Alice tells him magic is going to get shut off. 

Home - Quentin will do anything to get back to Eliot. Even if it means he has to slay a dragon.

breathe it in - angsty drabble about Quentin’s loneliness after the finale.

Truth - Quentin makes Eliot talk to him about what he’s feeling post Mike via truth serum. 

to love, to die: Chapter 1, 2, & 3 - A brief glimpse into the past 39 lives from eliots perspective. 

Project Seduce Quentin Coldwater and So Lift His Spirits (WIP): Chapter 1, 2, 3, - Quentin gets wiped after Penny sells him out post beast attack, and Eliot follows through on his promise. Only it’s not going at all how he planned. 

cuddling drabble - they cuddle. 

baking drabble - nothing every goes as planned with these two - more crack than anything. 

eliot’s blanket - prompt was Eliot has a secret baby blanket and Quentin finds out. 

Soulmates - Margo’s point of view through the whole evolution of their friendship with Quentin. 

R&R - fluffy little kind of hurt/comfort Queliot fic

Quelioet kisses - little drabble about kisses

Glasses - eliot has to wear glasses.

Angst and Anger - part one of a drabble series. This is Penntin, not Queliot.

Denial Ain’t Just a River - part two of the pennin (Angst and Anger) drabble series

Whole - took a whole lotta time to write (hahahhaha) no but its about quentin being an oblivious idiot and figuring out he’s in love with eliot. Queliot obviously

Teach Me - “do your lips move when you read?” Queliot

pda n’ shit - a little drabble about penny, margo and alice walking in on quentin and eliot.

Waffles - Penntin, domestic stuff. 

Sing Me To Sleep - angst good god this is angst. don’t say I didn’t warn you. 

There’s This Idiot - wrote this to counteract the devastating blow of the sing me to sleep angst. Read the angst then read this and feel better because its fluffy af. And has the line “That boy is more bi that a bicycle at a tricycle convention.” 

No Mercy for the Living - Mega angst. Eliot dies, and Quentin has to face it. 

Expectations - Fluff, what if the threesome happens, but there’s no alice to worry about come the next morning?

Hold On - Angst. Margo’s killed by the beast.

Can’t Stop This Feeling - eliot ends a loop the wrong way. 

I won’t Let You Go - Quentin doesn’t want eliot to be alone. drabble.

Power - Niffin Eliot. 

Self Sacrifice (is Bullshit) - Quentin and Margo friendship - Quentin almost gets himself killed and margo isnt having it.

Got A Bad Case of Loving You - a spell backfires, and Quentin’s finally learning what it took from him. Queliot. 

Game On - Quentin has no will power in the face of a bet.

The Price We Pay - Quentin pays the price to get magic back. And Eliot does what he has to.

I’ve Got You Carved On My Heart - prompted with queliot + post-it notes

Prickly Like A Porcupine - just some fluff to sate your needs.

Insanity - Quentin accidentally makes the entire campus fall in love with him. 

Hot Chocolate - Margo and Eliot think Quentin’s having a depressive episode.

This Moment - Quentin and Eliot are reunited after season 2. 

The Woods - Quentin, Eliot and Margo’s day of bonding in the woods doesn’t go as planned.

Diamond Kisses - "Did you steal that $100,000 diamond?” “... Maybe.”

Little Lamb - It’s Quentin’s birthday and Eliot just wants him to be happy, but he’s reasonably distracted. 

The Mad Royal Family of Fillory (WIP) - Chapter 1, - Timeline 31, where they do defeat the beast, but are driven so far beyond the brink of madness that Jane has no choice but to reset the clock. 

Wake Me Up - Eliot’s pretty sure Quentin keeps dying. Fluff. 

Petrichor - We never see Quentin and Eliot bond over their shared angst … and I really wish Eliot had talked to Q about his past. So. Here they are, bonding in what I like to imagine as an offscreen conversation.

otp questions - a series of short drabbles based on otp questions. 

stupid tattoos - a drabble. pretty much just crack

Roots - (WIP) soulmate fic?

Read Me to Sleep - who reads the other their favorite book? 

Twenty Five - angsty as hell. Jane and Dean Fogg go further back. 

Don’t Panic - prompt “I hate seeing you like this” 

Home - post 3x04. Queliot reunion drabble

Magnetic - After everything settles, Quentin and Eliot find some time to discuss what they really see when they touch the truth key.

I been looking at the stars tonight (and I think oh, how I miss that bright sun)

-   Q and El get a little emotional once they’re alone. (Title from The Strumbellas song, Spirits

The Test - Quentin dies after acquiring the last key. But nothing is what it seems. 

That Which Binds - Eliot’s sure Quentin will stop his marriage to Idri. 

Fifty Year Break - two bickering married couples. Quentin’s and Eliot are old, and still really dumb about things. Featuring; The Grandkids! 

“300″ word drabble prompt; sacrifice - eliot finds out about the depression monster key. 

“300″ word drabble prompt; sharp - quentin accidentally cuts himself cooking. 

“300″ word drabble prompt; warm kisses - quentin’s seduction techniques could use some work. 

“300″ word drabble prompt; date - rupert plans a date for his dads. 

“300″ word drabble prompt; cry - quentin’s been holding the depression key for too long. (MargoXEliotXQuentin friendship dynamic)

“300″ word drabble prompt; proposal - there’s a wedding to be had. 

“300″ word drabble prompt; rupert’s death - quentin makes an upsetting revelation. 

“300″ word drabble prompt; Ruperts birth - eliot comes to terms with being a defacto father. 

“300″ word drabble prompt; Rupert - rupert is a teenage matchmaker for his parents. 

“300″ word drabble prompt; Eliot and the depression key - eliot accidentally touches the depression key. 

Dark Places - Everyone’s dead, and q can think of only one person who can bring them back. aka the q gets Real Dark fic.

“300″ word drabble prompt; untitled - todd and margo friendship

a series of itty bitty drabbles - just one of those otp questions w/ short drabbles that i said i’d finish and never did

“300″ word drabble; todd and a puppy - todd, eliot and a puppy. 

“300″ word drabble; fillory (todd) - margo takes todd to fillory

Promise Me - post season 3, Q gets his memories backs & the creature gives him a few minutes w/ eliot

Holding Out for a Hero - Todd saves everyone from the beast and bonds w/ Q’s dad. (tbh it’s probably not going to get finished bc of my other todd wip seen below) [AO3]

Lifeboat - (WIP) Todd is a time traveler au. he’s q, el and margo’s son from the future trying desperately to find a way to save their lives. [AO3] 

Not Today - ao3 link bc i can’t find the damn thing on my blog, poppy hits on q, and q just wants to talk about eliot. 

“300″ word drabble; proposal take 2 - quentin’s tired of goodbyes 

Todd -- todd has a backstory too and its sad af