#golcha ff

[restlessmaknae]

slipping through my fingers

Jibeom is certain that he’s doing totally fine after the incident from a year ago, but his heart doesn’t forget.

♦ Characters: Jibeom x OC

♦ Genre: angst, slice of life, drama

♦ Words: 2.7k

♦ Warning: mentions of an accident, blood, death

♦ Inspired by: the ONE (Lucid Dream) MV

“Look up at the sky! Isn’t it beautiful today?”

Her voice filled the air with the same sweetness as the fragrance of the blooming trees around, ringing joyfully in his ears. Her words were like a melody that he coudn’t quite put a finger on, but he enjoyed it nevertheless. His heart was filled with warmth and hope as he listened to her, but just as she was about to turn around, the scenery changed, and he woke up, drenched in sweat, shivers running along his skin, dressing his body in cold numbness.

He had no idea what was this dream, what was the reason behind it. He didn’t remember that he had heard this voice before, but there was a pang in his chest as he replayed the dream in his head. Why was he feeling so bitter and lethargic? Why did it feel more like a nightmare than a sweet dream? It shouldn’t be anything terrifying. After all, his dream self felt safe and happy beside her. Whoever that girl was, his dream self knew her and enjoyed her company. He could feel the sincerity and empathy radiating off of her, and he could feel just how heartwarming the moment they shared was.

So why did just the thought of it make him want to forget about it all? Why was it so hard to pacify his heartbeat? Why did it bug him that he couldn’t see her face? Why could he see only this much and why only this particular setting? Why, why, why…

Jibeom pushed himself off the bed to head to the bathroom, the feelings from the dream still lingering on his skin no matter how much he stood under the showerhead, letting the cold water wash away the last remains of his previous dream and all the confusing feelings that it triggered in him.

It was no more than a dream, it couldn’t be.

“Why have you never been anywhere else but Seoul?”

The question fell from her lips curiously, but Jibeom was staring far ahead, watching as the waves hit the rocks on the shore. Somehow, he found such sceneries calming, and it was safer to watch the scenery instead of her face because he was afraid that he might be blushing under her stare. He didn’t know what was in her that made him feel this way, but it was an odd, unfamiliar feeling. Even the slightest interactions with her made him feel giddy.

“Seoul is big enough, you know,” Jibeom teased, his tone playful and cheeky. She let out a joyous laughter, something as light as the breeze that ruffled his pitch-black locks, and as beautiful as the sight of the crystal clear sea in front of them. He found himself smiling, something that seemed natural beside her.

“I know, but there’s just so much to see elsewhere. Like why haven’t you been here before?” she inquired, a hint of seriousness hiding behind the curious question.

“I’ve never really had a say in it. We’ve always gone abroad for holidays with my family, and besides that, I went to schools that didn’t organise school trips because everyone could allow it anyways,” he found himself saying, suddenly feeling ashamed. He had never gone against what his parents had wanted, but sometimes, he wished he would have been born into a different family. Then again, if he had tried to say his disapproval out loud, he would have been called a disgraceful son.

He could feel the atmosphere shifting, the brightness of the spring day and the beauty of the scenery suddenly feeling distant, almost detached from him. As if he was hovering over the scene, as if it was about to end soon. This growing distance between his surroundings and himself grew even wider and wider just as he was about to turn his head and catch a glimpse of her face, reality sucking him in, dreamland letting go of him for now, letting him fall to the ground, nails digging into his skin, heart beating loud and wild.

Jibeom reached to wipe the sweat off his face, the dream feeling too real, too personal. How could he dream something so vividly when he was sure that he wouldn’t have met her before? There was only once he had been somewhere in Korea apart from Seoul, and he knew that he hadn’t met anyone significant there, let alone a girl with whom he had dared to share such things. So how could it feel so real? Why couldn’t he see her face? Why did he feel so heavy and so… guilty?

Jibeom shook his head when his thoughts went into overdrive, and he pushed himself off the ground, catching his reflection in the mirror as he did so, seeing nothing but questions. Was she a made-up fantasy in his dreams? Why would she be? He wasn’t a lovesick fool.

Or was she really something more? Was she actually real? Maybe... a memory?

Her hands were in his, sharing the warmth beside the campfire, and it felt so right, so natural. Jibeom had never felt so light before. She felt her heart beat beside his, serenity dictating the rhythm of their heartbeats. By this time, her melody seemed familiar, personal, almost as if it was played just for him, just for them.

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Her voice was quiet and serene this time, almost doubtful. It pained him to see her worry, worry because she was different from him when she was the one who accepted him for the way he was. Why wouldn’t he do the same?

“Yeah, don’t worry,” he tried to soothe her nerves by squeezing her hands a bit tighter, but he could feel her body shifting beside his, a bit restless. She was resting her head in the crook of his neck, holding his hands that were on his thighs, watching as the flames licked the edges of the accumulated wood. Just like the campfire, her heart was so warm, and he had never believed that he would be capable of welcoming such light into his life. Not from someone who could love him for real.

“But you’ve said your parents aren’t too supportive of you being around others who aren’t like you,” she objected, and he didn’t need to be told what she meant by that, he knew that all too well. Someone who was not from high society. What once felt like a classification to him now almost seemed like a stigma.

“They can’t do anything once they meet you. I don’t live with them anymore, so worst things worst, we’ll go to my place after visiting my parents,” he explained to her, gently caressing the smooth skin of her hands in the meantime. He would never want her to feel ashamed of who she was when she was the first one who had made him feel accepted for who he truly was. Just a boy who didn’t want this life, just a boy who wished to sing instead of studying business, just a boy who wished to be heard and understood.

“I have to admit I’ve envied you when we first met. Just the way you carried yourself gave away where you had come from, and it just didn’t make sense why you had wanted to stay at the resort. But I guess I was just judging you by your looks,” she reminiscenced about their first encounter, and Jibeom cracked a smile thinking back to the day when she had looked up from the folders at the reception desk, and when he had told her he had booked a room under his name.

Back then, he hadn’t understood why she had looked so dumbfounded, but it had turned out that the owners of the resort had thought that he would come for a business trip seeing how he had come in the middle of the week and how formally he had written all those emails beforehand. Surely, based on her boss’ words, she had also expected someone older, more business-like, and instead, she had looked up at the boy her age, his expensive clothes seeming so out of place at the typical, colourful beach resort.

“I know I’m way too powerful when I show my forehead,” Jibeom teased to dissolve the slight awkwardness in the air, and he was successful because she couldn’t stop giggling afterwards.

Her giggle was the last he could hear before his alarm went off, and he bolted up in his bed, reaching for his phone, opening his photo folder, only to realise that he had gotten a new phone because his old one had been damaged during the incident. If he had really met her like in his dreams, he must have taken photos of her, but if it had happened at Jeju just like in his dreams, then he wouldn’t be able to find those pictures anymore.

He bit down on his lower lip before walking to his shelves to rummage through its contents, looking for his booking confirmation for Jeju, but when he found the paper and decided to ring the place a few times, they didn’t pick up. Could they have closed down? His Jeju trip had been a year prior after all. A lot of things could happen under a year.

Damn it, how was he supposed to find this girl if she was actually real? He didn’t even know her name. And why would he forget about her? The doctors said that he had seemed to remember everything prior to the accident. So why? And how? And why did his memories come back only now?

And why her?

Jibeom dreaded going to bed afterwards. He tried everything to avoid closing his eyes, letting the dreamlead suck him in because he was afraid of what he would see in his dreams and how damaged he would feel after each one.

On the other hand, not being able to sleep also had its effect on him, and he found himself wandering on the streets, mindless and numb, fighting a war within himself. There was such a heavy weight on his chest, he felt suffocated, empty and lost. It was as if a part of him had been taken away from him, and feeling so many things so suddenly was terrifying. Why had any of these dreams never appeared before? Why had they shown up in his life only now? What did they want to indicate?

Being buried under the unanswered questions, he almost collapsed onto a bench at a bus stop, his legs giving up for a bit. He had been walking and walking, trying to forget and trying to get away from the feelings - oh those damn feelings! - that wanted to consume him from within. He was afraid what more he could see, what more he could feel, but his legs couldn’t take it anymore, so he sat down, catching his breath.

He let out an aghast sigh, wanting to scream, wanting to be small and invisible. He was merely staring far ahead, not paying attention to anything until his eyes found a scene that broke his heart into tiny pieces: a couple on the passing bus sharing earbuds, chattering and laughing as they were listening to music together.

He needed to hold onto the edge of the bench, another memory taking hold of him alongside the deep, bitter and excruciating pain. Him and the same girl from before, fighting over what song to listen to next, and finally, he could see more than just her smile. He could see the dimples around her mellow lips, the shoulder-length wavy locks that framed her heart-shaped face, the shooting stars in her midnight orbs, the moles on her face and all those edges and curves and shapes and colours.

He could see her smile, he could hear her laugh even over the song they were listening to, and he could feel her subtle touch on his skin.

“I’ve told you! No more One Direction songs, Haneul!” Jibeom heard himself say, tone light and playful, and the mention of the name spread another wave of longing and hurt through his body. He found it difficult to breathe, to just suck in a short breath, his lungs seemed to be filled with thorny roses.

“I’ve thought you love me no matter what I listen to,” she chattered, sticking a tongue out at him, and she was so beautiful, so bright, so full of life, he could feel his heart beating for her in that moment.

Then, her smile wavering, eyes filled with terror, pretty features turned into a grimace, her hands holding onto his as the bus became uncontrollable, drifting towards the unknown due to a loud crash. He remembered the horrendous screams, he could feel the panic in his bones, he could see the way her head slammed against the window, pieces of glass piercing through her pale skin, leaving bloody patches like newly added burgundy spots on an empty canvas.

In a heartbeat, he could feel her hands letting go of his, and as she slipped through his fingers, body detached from his, she got further and further away until he could see and feel nothing but darkness.

Without her.

Then and now, the same darkness welcomed him with open arms.

Jibeom woke up in the hospital after having a trauma-induced episode, and he needed to run through two rounds of check-ups before he could get himself discharged, already searching for a way to get to know how she was doing even though he was afraid what he would find.

But with her name and the connection between his memories and the incident, he knew where to start, and he didn’t even need to search a lot, he could find her name on the list of the deceased of the bus accident in an online newspaper article.

“No way…” Jibeom breathed out, heart heavier than even before, heavy with the newfound hopelessness. Because until it was sparkling even with just a tiny bit of hope, it beated loudly and lively, but now, even his heart seemed to beat slower, wearily.

“It can’t be…” His voice rose as the first teardrop slid down his cheek, and he pushed everything off his table, wanting to destroy, wanting to fight, wanting to feel like he was in control of something - anything - in his life. As much as his brain wanted to forget her, he couldn’t. The memories resurfaced, it would have been just a matter of time they would come back, but it didn’t help his pain and guilt.

Why had he been the one to survive the accident? Why had she needed to sit in the window seat instead of him? Why had they needed to get on that exact bus? Why had it needed to end so cruelly?

His first love, his only love… She still had so much light and love to share, how could she just disappear? How could she not burn more, not light up hearts as she had done so with his? How could she not smile anymore? How could she not hold his hand anymore, making it seem like he was safe and understood? How? Just how could she die out like shooting stars in the sky?

Jibeom’s legs gave out and he slid down onto the ground, his screams mingled in with his tears, the sorrow of losing someone again after his memories had come back even worse than the first time. How could his heart be broken so many times, he didn’t know. Just how much pain a human being could bear, he didn’t know.

He only knew one thing.

That he would never ever forget her again after he had regained his memories with her, after his heart had tried so hard to make him remember.

Yes, Haneul. The sky is beautiful today, too. Only you are missing from it.

[yourfavkpopgurl]

Donghyun~Gaming

!!Smut!!

637 words

"Ugh" I sighed laying on donghyun's bed. I was so bored. Donghyun on the other hand was playing games with seungmin. Again. Suddenly I had an idea. I smirked and got up from his bed. I walked to him and hugged him from the back.

I kisses his cheek and than went down to his neck. I placed light feather kisses on it and he smiled. Suddenly I decided to suck on it and he pushed me away. He looked at me with wide eyes.

I straddled his lap and kisses his neck again. "Babe wtf are you doing" he whispered to prevent seungmin from hearing us. I started grinding on him and he covered his mouth to keep himself from moaning. I felt him getting harder under me and my underwear was getting soaked.

Than, I went down on my knees. I took his hard cock out of his sweatpants and start pumping it with my hand. He struggled so hard keeping quiet and I loved it. I took him in my mouth and bobbed my head. His hand flew into my hair. He pulled it but I loved it. He was so weak under my touch and it turned me on even more.

He muted the micro and he moved my head with his hand to go faster. His fingers strangled in my hair felt so good. He started moaning and groaning like crazy. It even made me more wet if that was even possible. His thighs were shaking and he was super close until he suddenly took my mouth away from his cock.

I was suprised at his action. He told me to get up and he patted his lap. He pulled down my sweatpants and my panties. His finger wandered over my slit and he smirked. "You're so wet, I love it" and I smiled.

He grabbed my waist and he put me on his cock. He stretched me out and I moaned at the sudden feeling. He puts his hand over my mouth and unmuted the mic. "What are you doing" i whispered now. "Just be quiet babygirl" he said and winked.

"What happend" seungmin suddenly said. "Uhm my mic suddenly stopped working" donghyun said. He bucked his hips and I bit my lip. It probably start bleeding. He just kept on bucking his hips and I was crying from pleasure and pressure from keeping quiet.

He wasn't really focused on his game. Seungmin was getting suspicious and asked if everything was okay. Donghyun just said that he was a bit tired. He moved faster and I bit his shoulder because I was close. He bit his lip from the pain and pleasure.

I came and accidentally moaned. Donghyun quickly covered my mouth again. His legs were covered with my cum. "I'm almost there babygirl." I clenched my walls around him and he came inside of me. His cum painted my walls. His head fell back. His eyes closed and sweat dripping from his forehead. He looked so hot. He was always a cute baby but seeing him so weak and heavily breathing made me realise how freaking sexy he actually is. I got up and moaned a bit when his cock left me. I felt so empty without him.

I kissed his soft lips again and went to the bathroom to take a cold shower. I was singing Lucid Dream when I suddenly felt warm arms wrapping around my body. I turned around and looked into his eyes. "You stopped gaming?" I asked and he nodded. "I rather spend time with you than with seungmin" we laughed and kissed again. "I love you" I smiled at his words. "I love you 2" I said. We hugged and took a shower again. "Maybe...Round 2" he asked and raised an eyebrow. I nodded and he kissed my neck again.

A/n: Hope you Liked it ^^

If you want me to write it again bcs the write style is bad🤡, I'll do it :)

(Just edited typos)

[blossom-hwa]

blurbs here we come