#going to be litigious on my own tumblr blog for a minute
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Visit Tumblr Blog
Explore Tumblr blogs with no restrictions, modern design and the best experience.
Last Seen Tumblr Blogs
Fun Fact
Tumblr’s reach among the 26-to-35-year-olds in the US is 11%.
Text
.
#i need to be childish and rant some more about this thing#i talked to a mutual friend — the poet of our group— and she advised me to repair things with this friend i had a Thing with last week#and the adult intellectual side of me who has a modicum of emotional intelligence knows she’s right#i know it#but GOD. does anyone else feel like their well of grace is running dry?#the thing about being The Good Kid is that I am always reaching first#it always falls to me#and like god I can’t remember the last time someone has reached for me. because I am worth the effort of repair#and I am TIRED. and I just want to be wanted as a friend for a goddamn second#going to be litigious on my own tumblr blog for a minute#because I am the wronged party here. she was the one who leapt at me#and honestly made me feel like she thought so little of me. after all the years we’ve known each other#i was open and vulnerable with her through a really hard fucking time for me#and I didn’t think she would ever use it as ammo against me but she DID#so why does the repair have to fall to ME#and I know — I know that sitting and waiting for her to talk first is childish and I could be waiting for a long long time#i know that is ultimately unproductive and doesn’t get anyone anywhere#(just like i know this friend is working through some deep deep shit)#(and my shit is lesser)#i know all this AND YET#I want to be petulant and pathetic because I never get to let the line down ever and I’m exhausted is everyone else exhausted#but it’s also like. this friendship this group is for fucking life and i really mean that#i am just—— UGH#anyway this is the anguish occupying my brain this wed evening#also i am afraid to reach out because what if i inadvertently hurt her and what if#what if reaching out only gives her an opening to hurt me again?
12 notes
·
View notes