#going from crying to getting angry at him defying the first law of thermodynamics

[ddarker-dreams]

a lil brain dump here but i just realized how it mustve been so much worse for darling if they found out yan chrollo is a leader of the most deadliest group ... like just thinking of the horror of not being aware u were getting on chrollo's trap on making u stay with him forever ....

there's no denying the terror of this realization crashing down on you.

it's... a lot, to put it lightly. chrollo considers what's likely one of the most traumatizing instances in your life to be a "taking the bandage off" situation. chances are he'll tell you if he has to leave your area for more than a few weeks, that's the cutoff point for how long he can go without you. while he can logically understand that this is going to be a rough conversation, the compassion isn't really there. what shreds of empathy he does have center around the fact you'll be upset. not just upset, but upset with him, and he's confident that won't be going away anytime soon. it's not a great feeling.

he errs more toward how he acts as a boss of the troupe than the chrollo you thought you've gotten to know. the initial revelation goes about as well as he expected, but honestly, that's the worst part. the remaining fallout doesn't eat at him too much. his tone and body language have this clinical edge that isn't making you feel much better. deep down in your soul, you know he means business, that there's a gravity in the room you can only comprehend a fraction of.

there's a good chance the confession's full weight won't sink in for a few weeks. especially if he introduces you to the concept of nen. (which he's lowkey dying to do because he knows some part of you will be impressed at watching a book materialize from nothing).