#going back to all my friends hating me they make plas IN FRONTT OF ME but never invite me
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#hhhh i need to rant cuz thinking about my mom that one time#hhhhh#where to beging#oh im failing chemistry because i dont understand anythign because i dont know how to do math or scieence#and i have a shit ton of sceicen homework and i wanna do it because i have a 72 in the class and if i dont do it i will really be failing ch#and i have english homework which should be easy but i dont wanna do it\#i have so many things to do today but im depressed so i just wanna lay down and take a nap#all of my irl friends hate me! cuz ive been distant lately cuz im having a sexuality crisis and theyre all straighties so they wouldnt#understand#and they all talk shit about me anyway and this one girl said i was the smartest person she knows but now that im failing a class im worthle#literally im only acknowledged as smart but the gag is im really not academically smart and if people found that out hehehehe my life would#be over#i made a 26 on my act and i wanna die because i got . in the 30s on my reading an english adn a high 20 on my sceicen but an 18 in math!!!!#i think im gay but i dont know if im just overthinking or antyhgin but i kissed a boy and it made me really sick and i got in my car and#started crying because of it#going back to all my friends hating me they make plas IN FRONTT OF ME but never invite me#and everyone on tumblr hates me all of my mutuals are annoyed by me because they all stopped interacting at once but idk what i did!#i miss so.....many of them#but i dont know how to reach out an say that and im not even that close to more than like 5 of them and i cherish those 5 but i want my old#mutuals to want to talk to me again#* **** **** *** *** *** ** ***** *** **** **** **** **#also my dad is being weirdly nice lately and i dont trust it!!!! so used to the emotional abuse id rather have that than something nice cuz#i dont deserve having good parents!!#i say that and like i love them and they provide basic necessaityies but theyre really realy emotionally abusive and my dad used to **** me#but i dontk ow if it was actual abuse becaus a lot of the time i actually deserved it!!!#gonna go do homework then go to sleep or maybe by the time im done this will be fixed!!!
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