#godzilla works in mysterious ways

[adm-starblitzsteel-4305]

So godzilla and mothra know that kong has chosen a human as a mate, and are for the most part okay with it, but what about the other titans? What their opinion?

Many would react in a mix, whether positive or negative. It's their first time seeing a Titan has mate who is also a human in this modern society. I mean, who would've thought about that?

They couldn't quite guess if this is allowed for nature to play in, obviously Godzilla knows it well. Plus, he and Mothra are tied to knot for centuries despite their differences.

Rodan: FSGGDHDKDLKEKDHDKSLSLJSHDHSIOELDOWPPPEKJWKWPSKJD-!!!!!!! KONG'S WIFE-?!

Behemoth: A HUMAN?!

Scylla: IS HE JOKING?!

Barb (Queen MUTO): A human mated by a Titan? That's utterly ridiculous.

Na Kika: ...I think they're cute.

Methuselah: Send regards for them both.

Tiamat: What's the reason for Kong to married a tiny human woman?

Godzilla: NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. SO GET BACK TO YOUR PROPER PLACES OR I WILL FORCE YOU!

[jeremywhitley]

Here's a rundown of the first half of the stories and creators including details about the creators and images from each and every story!

Genre: Educational

Writer: Jeremy Whitley (My Little Pony, Unstoppable Wasp)

One of the Editors of Aces & Aros. Find full bio in "Creative Team" Section of the Kickstarter page.

Artist: Bailie Rosenlund

Bailie Rosenlund ; a graduate of Sheridan's Illustration program in Oakville, ON, Canada; is an award-winning illustrator located in Vancouver, Canada. She is currently working as a Comic Artist on Marvel Voices: Avengers Academy. She recently illustrated the comic Hero Outage: An Epic NPC Man Adventure. Previous clients include: Marvel, DC, Bad Egg, Dreamworks, Warner Bros, Cartoon Network, Apple, Nickelodeon, Netflix, Restoration Games.

Instagram | Website

Colorist: Kelly Fitzpatrick (Archie)

Kelly Fitzpatrick is a professional colorist who has been working full-time for over 10 years in the industry. Their client list includes Marvel, DC, Archie, Darkhorse, and Image Comics; as well as many other indie publishers.

Genre: Slice of Life

Writers: Phil Falco & Kat Calamia (Lifeline Comics)

Two of the Editors of Aces & Aros. See full bios in "Creative Team" Section of the Kickstarter page.

Artist: Valeria Peri

Valeria Peri (she/her) is a freelance comic book artist from Italy. She graduated from the Art Academy, A.C.M.E. of Milan with specialization in comics. Valeria has published two short stories with a local publisher and is now working as a freelance artist.

Genre: Fantasy

Writer: Derek V. Song

Derek V. Song is an Asian American writer known for his work on the WEBTOON adaptation of Dimension 20's Fantasy High. When not writing, he can be found anxiously staring at the wall, trying to decide what to write next.

Bluesky | Website

Artist: Alex Brennan-Dent

Alex Brennan-Dent is a prizewinning queer comic artist, illustrator and all-round nerd from the UK; who can either be found making videos over on his YouTube channel, or at his desk working on various (usually fruity) comic projects!

Genre: Poetry/Slasher

Writer: Sarah "Neila" Elkins

Sarah "Neila" Elkins is an asexual writer and artist who's worked in the comics industry since 2008. She loves scifi, fantasy, horror, and mystery. She has a from of chronic ossifying tennis elbow.

Bluesky | Mastodon

Artist: Feriowind

Feriowind is a Taiwanese-American illustrator and creature and comic artist who has previously worked on Godzilla Rivals: Mothra vs Titanosaurus.

Genre: Spy

Writer: Cici Affini

Cici Affini (She/Her) is a demisexual comic book writer best known for “MythFall.” She was featured in the “Oxymoron: Killing Time” anthology and wrote the prose short “Thin Ice” for the Chimeranverse Tales collection. She is one fourth of creator-owned indie publisher Attic Door Media and a member of the ComixLaunch community.

Substack | Instagram | Bluesky | Facebook

Artist: Mauricio Mora (HAUNTING, Damsel from D.I.S.T.R.E.S.S.)

Mau Mora is a comic artist and illustrator from Costa Rica who loves fantasy, action and drama. After several years of working as an artist for indie video games projects, he started to make his way into his true passion, comics, and in particular, creator-owned projects. Some of his most recent projects include the sci-fi thriller "The Game, spy/fantasy "Damsel from D.I.S.T.R.E.S.S.", horror drama "HAUNTING", cyberpunk/superhero "Xolotl" and the Comixology Original sci-fi adventure, "Major Thomás". In the meantime, he's also started working on writing his own projects, soon to come! He lives in Costa Rica with his much more talented comic artist wife, and their two very dumb cats.

Genre: Slice of Life

Writer/Artist: Emily C. Martin

Emily C. Martin is a comic artist, illustrator, printmaker and teacher based in Sonoma County, California. On the internets, they are known as Megamoth, and found mostly through www.megamoth.net. 

Website

Genre: Video Game Comedy

Writer: Suzanne Wdowik

Suzanne Wdowik is a writer and aspiring math teacher from metro Detroit. She has previously been published in the Eisner-nominated anthology SENSORY: LIFE ON THE SPECTRUM (Andrews McMeel) and the horror anthology IN THE NECK OF THE WOODS (Greykin Press).

Instagram | Bluesky

Artist: Yonson Carbonell

Yonson Carbonell (he/him) is a  freelance comic artist and illustrator based in the Dominican Republic, has work with Plague Doctor press, Alpha eve, kofi, and more. He's currently working on his personal comic project Hooligans (free to read on his Kofi and webtoons). When not working you can find him watching anime, playing video games or with his pets.

Website | Instagram | Twitter

Genre: Slice of Life

Writer: CC Mooney

CC is a Canadian writer and editor. This is their first work in comics and they're super excited about the opportunity!

Bluesky

Artist: Gib Lewis

Gib Lewis (they/them) is an Iowa born and raised graphic novelist with a passion for telling interpersonal stories. They are primarily a YA creator and are currently working on their own graphic novel, an early 2000s paranormal mystery tale.

Twitter | Bluesky

Genre: Historical

Writer: Logan Noack

Logan Noack is a comic writer best known for his ongoing webcomic, The Witch's Thrall. This is his first published work and he hopes more will follow.

Bluesky

Artist: Ornella Greco

Ornella Greco is a cartoonist and freelance illustrator from Italy. She studied in Palermo, Sicily at the Grafimated Cartoon-School of Comics and finished her studies in 2019. After she graduated, she began working for various publishers in the American and French comics industry, on such works as the acclaimed Dragon Kingdom of Wrenly series from Little Simon, Star Trek: Picard’s Academy with IDW Publishing, and more.

Instagram

Genre: Fantasy Romance

Writer: Bwillett

Bwillett, disabled biroace comics gremlin and Webcomics Old One. When not juggling multiple webcomics, she enjoys building models, being very Opinionated about toys, cross stitching and dealing with her screaming goblin of a dog, Duchess.

Bluesky | Mastodon | Website

Artist: Zuzanna Lewandowska (Bi Visibility: Still Bi, Hairology)

Zuza is an illustrator and comic enthusiast from Poland who is a huge fan of interesting stories, complicated characters and art in general. Their ambition is to one day publish their own comic.

Instagram

Genre: Slice of Life

Writer: C.K. Carpenter

C.K. Carpenter is a queer disabled writer who most recently co-edited (and contributed a story to) the unSEEN/unHEARD: Disability & Neurodivergence anthology, published by Unseen Alchemy Publishing. Other recent works include short comics in Transphoria by Lifeline Comics and Down Below by Limit Break Comics. They also edited, published, and contributed a story to Scott Snyder Presents Tales from the Cloakroom v1. Their stories tend to center on queer characters or characters with disabilities.

Twitter | Bluesky

Artist: Sam Alegre / Darkjellyfish

Sam (they/them) is an agender illustrator from the Dominican Republic. Their artwork usually shows experiences as a nonbinary individual, appealing to a young audience. In their artwork, they explore self-discovery, mental health, and self-expression. Sam currently works as a graphic designer and children’s book illustrator. They also enjoy playing with their pets and roller skating.

Instagram | Behance

Please jump in and support the anthology and help us tell comics stories by, for, and about ace and aro folks! And look out for the next post with the other half of the stories!

[monsters-conquer-the-world]

OOZEPUNK

WHAT IS OOZEPUNK?

Oozepunk is the term I'm coining for the microgenre of urban heroic sci-fi horror-fantasy that first exploded in the mid-80s with movies, shows, and comics like Ghostbusters, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, The Toxic Avenger, Who Framed Roger Rabbit, Hellboy, Street Sharks, and others. Lots of natural crossover with Biopunk and Cyberpunk, aesthetically and philosophically.

Your childhood trauma didn't let you forget Roger Rabbit heavily featured colorful nightmare slime, did it?

A ragtag gang of weirdos (often horribly mutated--more on that soon) band together to save a city that doesn't understand them. Grimy sewers, abandoned buildings and graffiti'd brick walls are lit up by neon lights, streams of mysterious, glowing goo and/or the unearthly lights of futuristic particle weapons--ideally all of the above!

Beyond the "cracked concrete and gutters full of liquid plutonium" aesthetic, Oozepunk prankishly asks "What if catastrophic aberrations of science, particularly DUMPING TOXIC FUCKING WASTE STRAIGHT INTO THE ENVIRONMENT created fucked-up monsters... but they're HEROIC fucked-up monsters!" These catastrophic aberrations of science grant the heroes incredible powers, but COST them their place in human society. (Ghostbusters and Roger Rabbit eschew character mutation in favor of discovering that the undead and olde tymey cartoons are real [and exploitable!], respectively. 'Busters and 'Toon sympathizers alike are treated like insane idiots and/or frauds in their respective universes.)

Oozepunk heroes are challenged not only by strange supernatural beings, but by human society itself. The Ghostbusters battle with local politicians as much as they do the undead. In the recent (and delightful) TMNT: Mutant Mayhem, Splinter warns the Turtles of humans and their obsession with "milking" mutants for their blood--on top of the villainous mutants they're trying to thwart!

Crank up the creep factor in Oozepunk and you get awesome anti-establishment goo-horror like 1988's The Blob, The Stuff, Street Trash, and probably a bunch more. Toxic Avenger is a batshit crazy splatter-comedy (i.e. classic Troma)... and still garnered sequels, a kid's cartoon and toyline!

And there's a Shredder's Revenge-style Crusaders beat-em-up coming out next year??

This looks dope as shit

Ghostbusters and TMNT are the only current, "evergreen" (or radioactive green!) Oozepunk franchises I can think of off the top of my head, but Oozepunk elements are buried in almost all of the stories and settings I love the most. Heroic kaiju like King Kong, Godzilla and Gamera paved the way for our freaky friends, but so did comics characters like Fantastic Four's Ben "The Thing" Grimm, The Hulk and Swamp Thing. Hell, I think I blame SESAME STREET of all things for starting me down the Oozepunk path.

Surprise! I've loved screaming trash monsters with secret hearts of gold since I was a fucking baby, and they've ALWAYS been there for me!

But it's not just Oscar, Sesame Street as a whole is a proto-Oozepunk utopia, years before the big Ooze-splosion of the 80s. Muppets, monsters, talking animals and chill humans all live and work together to scrape by with a little dignity in a gritty-but-wholesome urban world!

Sesame Street, a decades-long reminder that educational childrens' programming can and SHOULD be cool as hell looking and loaded with all kinds of friendly mutant freakuloids.

OOZEPUNK! Whaddya think?

[theplanetprince]

Amity Boys (Season 1)

Fic: AO3 || FNN

Fandom: Danny Phantom

Rating: Teens and up

Word Count as of Update: 17,950~

Chapters as of update: 4/10 (?)

Relationships:

Dash Baxter & Wes Weston

Wes Weston/Valerie Gray

Characters:

Wes Weston

Dash Baxter

A-Listers

Sidney Pointdexter

Guys In White

The Amorphos

Technus

Additional Tags:

A-Lister Centric

Wes Centric

Crack Taken Seriously 

Horror

Body Horror

Psychological Horror

Trauma

Danny Fenton is a Little Shit

Not Canon Compliant

Not Fanon Compliant

Possession

Demonic Possession

Comic Book Science

Science Fiction

Dialog heavy

World building 

Lore

Script Fic

Slow Burn

Content Warnings: Mild Language throughout, Body Horror, Possession, Assault, Starvation, Stalking, Breaking and Entering-- General Ratbag Teens being Ratbags.

Fic Summary: "Amity Park: A Nice Lie." Skeptic Newcomer Wes Weston and Veteran of the Paranormal Dash Baxter start a radio broadcast to post online to gain insight into Amity Park. Once they hit record, their lives will never be the same. The pair must decipher rumors from folklore and fact from fiction-- exploring a decaying one-stoplight ghost town. Can their friendship survive the living dead, and will Wes ever find the truth behind the mysterious Amity Park Phantom?

Author's Note: Special thank you to my partner for coming in clutch towards the end of chapter 4, they are an excellent writer in their own right, and you should check out their work on @the-storming-sea

To those returning readers-- I decided I wanted to change the format to better reflect the podcast medium, as well as gave some general polish and wrangled the character voices a little bit better. Please let me know what I can do to make the experience more authentic and enjoyable for viewers like you.

(authors note extended beyond the read-more)

[Reblogs > Likes... Thx]

That being said, this series is semi-back? I wanted this to act as sort of an anchor point for my rewrite series and establish a lot of the characterization and horror present in future releases. I also truthfully wanted to work on something else besides Schrödinger's. Which, if you haven't read it, its sort of my take on the Teddyghost (danny/Dash) relationship if you're interested in that. I don't want this work to be bogged down by ship stuff bc the focal dynamic is Wes and his friendships with the A-listers and how he comes to protect and care about them. To make the rest of the series cohere better though there will be little tie-ins to other fics and as well as some blink and you'll miss it lines.

I'm not really sure what topic I should cover in chapter 5. I was thinking Wes and Dash can finally talk about the elephant in the room (being the phantom) or maybe some other ghosts we've teased in the earlier chapters-- you'll have to let me know.

That all out of the way, I want to share my inspiration for chapter 4-- being my love of creepy pastas, especially gaming creepy pastas. One of my favorite internet stories is Godzilla SNES. If you haven't checked out, you really should.

[lizardsfromspace]

MONSTER MONDAYS #3: THE MYSTERIANS and VARAN

It's time once again! Well again. Because I didn't post anything the first week. Anyway I'm watching every Godzilla and Godzilla-adjacent film, from the original to 2004's Final Wars. Alas, this does include Godzilla '98. This week: the only week of the whole series to feature neither Godzilla or Mothra.

THE MYSTERIANS

1957 - Directed by Ishirō Honda - subbed

The Mysterians opens with a village's festival being interrupted by a mysterious fire. Then the village falls into the Earth and vanishes, along with an astrophysicist studying an asteroid that was formerly a planet. That's the first ten minutes.

Then we meet Moguera, a gigantic beaked robot with the wonderful noise of constantly whirring antenna, and for its second ten minutes, The Mysterians is a giant monster movie

Then the Mysterians unveil their massive underground sphere. Spheres! This is an act of DOME CINEMA!!! And we go inside its 1950s sci-fi vibes: the flying saucers, the vast spaces full of spinning tubes, the colorful caped and be-helmeted Mysterians themselves, who make a deal with humanity. Their species was doomed by radiation long ago, so all they want is three kilometers of land on Earth to live on, and - as they just casually drop - to mate with our human women. And the alien bastards have already taken our babes! Now it's time for the Duke a unified global military force to get repeatedly melted because they keep trying to attack the dome that has death rays that melt anyone who threatens the dome

If this happened today there would be no trouble getting volunteers to make it with the mutant space men. Actually, the obstacle may be that they're not freaky enough. If you're down to take a one-way trip to the bone dome you'll want them to have more than a few scars and boils under that helmet - but then again, maybe Mysterians leave the helmet on

The Mysterians is resolutely A Good Time. 🛸🛸🛸

Varan the Unbelievable

1958 - Directed by Ishirō Honda - subbed

Our last Toho kaiju film in black-and-white, and our only one in Toho Pan Scope, which is a euphemism for "it was shot in TV aspect ratios then blown up for widescreen" (more on that later)

Recipe for a kaiju glup shitto:

Some kind of unique gimmick or design

Be prominent but relatively undeveloped

Having a brief cameo in Destroy All Monsters and/or Final Wars, but with no other major appearances besides their debut

The only movie starring them is mediocre-to-bad

Meet Varan. Varan is a big spiky lizard who haunts a lake, and - huh? Why is he holding out his arms? Why -

YES

There are some fun setpieces involving Varan but the pacing of this film is just strange, being slow overall but with abrupt changes from one plot beat to another, which makes sense if you look up its history. Varan was written as a three-episode TV miniseries, and the crew was in the middle of shooting it as a TV miniseries when the co-producer pulled the plug & Toho asked Honda to both blow it up to widescreen and try to make three TV episodes into a coherent feature film. No wonder it was his least favorite of the movies he made. It's not nearly as good as what we've seen before but hey, he did manage to make a movie out of it, so good on him

Varan is an ancient dinosaur who was asleep in a lake, which caused him to be seen as a mountain god by the nearby village. He is not a mutant dinosaur, because Varans are introduced as a known species of dinosaur that was gigantic and could fly just like a flying squirrel. I wish this was a fact in real life that we all knew. Tyrannosauruses, stegosauruses, Varans. We need more Varan. "What if a smaller Godzilla who could glide" is a good concept. Honestly this is the least sketched-in monster we've seen so there's room to grow. I want to see Takashi Yamazaki tackle this. Get that second Oscar

So there's one element of Varan that did work perfectly. And that's the score from Akira Ifukube. I heard that it was good, but I didn't expect this film to open with a track like this

In conclusion 🐿️🐿️

THE LIST: Including all the post-2004 films I won't be rewatching

NEXT WEEK: 1959's quasi-sequel to The Mysterians, Battle in Outer Space, and we move on to the 60s and meet the queen herself, Mothra.

[arkanis-englishupdates]

SUMMARY OF ALL ARKANIS POVS

DAY 43 — 15/10/2024

A new day begins in the city of Valigma, where the tension of a future war begins.

In the lake of Valigma, Bagi find a type of submerged machine that appears to be cleaning the place.

Bia appeared to Quel and Maethe saying that she would give a gift and asked if Quel and Maethe knew what relics were. Maethe didn't know, but Quel did.

Bia then brought the gift:

An Invisibility item made with Arkanya.

The only rule about this relic is that they could just use it without telling anyone or duplicate and enchant it. Basically this item is only allowed to be used without anyone knowing.

Bagi, in a desperate attempt to summon her daughter Amora, she ends up summoning another Valigma entity, this time being a big-eyed white cat named Mona. Bagi tries to secretly bargain with FEAR for them to take Mona's life in exchange for something, but Mona quickly realizes and tells Bagi about FEAR being her brother and about how FEAR is now after Pac, sleeping next to him to make Pac have nightmares.

(It is revealed by Mona that Lankyas are creations of humans who learned to use Arkanya and none of the entities depend on the Lankyas to use Arkanya.)

It is also revealed that someone has been scratching Pac's candidacy posters.

Gabe goes to the Entertainment District and meets Maethe, Bagi, JVNQ and others, being able to see JVNQ for the first time after his deal with Araldo and disappearance.

JVNQ starts to talk with Gabepeixe, explaining that his actions can save Denix. He and Gabepeixe start argue heatedly over each others decisions, with the half-fish disagreeing with JVNQ for working with the same man who killed his son, who counters that Gabepeixe's plan was worse and no chance of success.

The heated discussion calms down a little, leaving a visible tension in the air. To complement, Maethe tells Gabepeixe that Coreano was hurt that no one came to talk to him about the death of Princess (his Godzilla pet) and also about the death of Denix, leaving even more sadness in the air.

Suddenly, Bia teleports everyone to the dome and asks them to stay there. Araldo appears trying to invade the place, but Bia appears in time and the battle begins. Bia Raux manages to defend the dome and then attacks Araldo's Factory, taking the opportunity to absorb the Arkanya there.

After the battle, everyone leaves the dome and goes their separate ways.

Guaxinim manages to find what appear to be Arkanya magic blocks and quickly mines them, delivering them to Bagi.

Suddenly, FEAR pulls Guaxinim into a strange room and tells him that he must make everyone sleep. After asking everyone to sleep, Guaxinim feels strange and turns into a werewolf.

He attacks some specialists who were with him with fury, only calming down at dawn, where he returned to his human form without remembering anything.

Shortly after Guaxinim returns to human form and meets Gabepeixe, Himaru and Bagi again, a strange voice coming from nowhere begins to recite the following text:

The Fear lies to had.

Lies like the Fear.

Feel the werewolf inside your veins.

Don't be afraid to be who you’re.

Listening closely.

Evil will watch this.

Feel the pain.

(Apparently, it's a quote from "Thriller" by Michael Jackson, with some changes.)

Then Guaxinim returns to his werewolf form and attacks everyone nearby again.

The mysterious voice disappears and the Guaxinim voice can be heard saying “Valigma is gonna fall.”.

Guaxinim come back to normal and they find him at Julia's store and he tells them that he had a vision of Julia being torn apart, Guhzera arrives to check the situation and Guaxinim transforms again, attacking Guhzera while his friends just watch, applauding.

As a way to contain him, Gabepeixe uses a cage to trap Guaxinim and Bagi begins to recite the "Cume's Poem" in an attempt to help Guaxinim return to his human form (She discovers in one of Matt's books that FEAR loves poetry and tries to use that to help Guaxinim). It only works temporarily and Guaxinim returns to being a werewolf.

After some time, Guaxinim finally calms down and returns to his human form. After that, everyone splits up to explore or go to their bases.

Bagi goes to the Apuapu Island/Old Dome Island to check out Stonehenge where they performed the ritual to bring down the dome and she start to revisit the other places on the island. Unfortunately she finds nothing and leaves.

She returns to the city and in the middle of her walk she ends up finding Bia Raux's house. While trying to explore Bia's house, Bagi is teleported to the city hall and meets Zé Silva, the city banker, and they start talking about everything that's going on.

As the conversation progresses, Zé starts talking about Bia and why he is afraid of her, but is quickly teleported away, returning moments later appearing to have had some of his memories erased. Bagi tries to explain to him that Bia erased his memory, but he doesn't believe her.

She chooses to leave him alone to think about what just happened, returning to Bia's house. Angry, Bagi starts digging under the house to find a way in, being helped by Gabepeixe who, after learning about what happened to Zé Silva, promptly helps her. Both are unsuccessful.

[astoundingbeyondbelief]

Kaiju Week in Review (February 11-17, 2024)

Warner Bros. unfurled the second trailer for Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire, which seems to be going over much better than the first. There are multiple glimpses of the ice Titan Shimo throughout, and an even briefer look at Mothra reflected in Jia's eye. (My favorite shot, of course, is Kong decking Skar King as he's holding out Suko like a wriggling shield.) The rough shots from trailer #1 still look rough, but at least the new footage is more impressive.

The new issue of Empire (how fitting) has a short article on GxK—the big revelation there is that Godzilla Evolved is pink simply because that's director Adam Wingard's favorite color. Collaborations are also popping up. Circle K is offering a movie-branded sandwich, chocolate bar, and Froster drinks/cups. Godzilla and a seriously wizened Kong are also entering the mobile game Lords Mobile.

I don't know much about Oscar politicking, but Takashi Yamazaki's strategy of bringing a model Godzilla with him everywhere he goes seems like a winner. Both appear in the "class photo" taken of all the nominees at the Oscar Nominees Luncheon. At the same event, Yamazaki and Godzilla met with Steven Spielberg, who told Yamazaki he had seen Godzilla Minus One three times. Posting their photo together on Twitter, Yamazaki said he had "met God."

Toho's English Godzilla YouTube channel also uploaded a six-minute video on Minus One's VFX, with a focus on the various ways the production was able to shave off costs. Officially translated behind-the-scenes featurettes for Toho Godzilla films are a rarity, a sign of how badly they want that little gold statue. It's worth watching just for Yamazaki scooting his chair around the office.

Shout! Factory's onslaught of old Toei tokusatsu films on its streaming service turned out to be a prelude to offering them all on disc. The Classic Tokusatsu Collection Blu-ray set includes Planet Prince (1959; called Prince of Space), Invasion of the Neptune Men (1961), Watari the Ninja Boy (1966), The Golden Bat (1966; called Golden Ninja), Magic Serpent (1966; called Dragon Showdown) , Ninja Scope (1969), and Terror Beneath the Sea (1966). None have ever been released on English-friendly Blu-ray before; some haven't even made it to DVD. The set is $70 and limited to 2,500 copies.

Major caveats seem to accompany every English-language release of vintage tokusatsu these days, and unfortunately this set's no exception. Despite the existence of English dubs for at least some of these films (two of them riffed on Mystery Science Theater 3000), only Terror Beneath the Sea is dubbed; the rest are Japanese-only. And the dubbed Prince of Space well-known to MiSTies was actually an amalgamation of Toei's two Planet Prince films, only the first of which is present here. (Even the first film seems like it's going to be in upscaled standard-def, going off the streaming version.) No special features in the production description either, although one person who got the set early reports that at least one trailer is included (for Invasion of the Neptune Men).

IDW has announced still another Godzilla miniseries, Godzilla: Skate or Die. First-issue description:

It's Australian skater punks versus Varan and the King of the Monsters in this thrilling debut issue by writer/artist Louie Joyce (A Fistful of Pain)! Four years ago, four best friends and die-hard skaters found the perfect location for a DIY skatepark. After months of hard work, they created the world’s sickest spot that they could enjoy for the rest of their lives… That is, until the ferocious Varan appeared in the middle of central Australia and started making a beeline for their beloved park. Why is Varan on a rampage? Why did Godzilla just appear off the coast? What does their beloved skate spot have to do with this? And most importantly���what are these punks willing to do to save it?

Sounds like there's a lot of author appeal here, as Joyce is Australian and calls the tale "inspired by all the amazing DIY spots I've had the privilege of skating[.]" And a meaty role for Varan is a pleasant surprise.

Perhaps inspired by the success of Troll on Netflix, we've got another Scandinavia giant monster movie on the way. Kraken will be directed by Pal Oie (Dark Woods) from a script by Vilde Eide. No cast yet, but here are the plot details divulged by The Hollywood Reporter:

[T]he thriller will follow Johanne, a marine biologist who encounters several strange occurrences while researching a fjord, including the brutal deaths of two local teenagers. “At the bottom of Norway’s deepest fjord rests a mythical monster as large as a mountain, with a myriad of arms ready to crush and devour anything they can grab,” the film’s synopsis reads.

Krakens are certainly having a moment in giant monster stories right now, between Ruby Gillman, Teenage Kraken and the three that somehow wound up connected to the Monsterverse. (To wit: Na Kika was originally called Kraken, the unnamed antagonist of Skull Island bore the same name internally, and the guardian of Atlantis in the Justice League crossover comic is a Kraken as well.) This seems like a more back-to-basics approach.

[literary-illuminati]

Book Review 53 – The Kaiju Preservation Society by John Scalzi

This is the last novel I read exclusively and entirely because it was nominated for a Hugo, and is also the first thing of Scalzi’s I’ve ever touched. Not that I haven’t been, like, peripherally aware of him for a while, but until now I’ve never really felt compelled by any of the pitches I’ve heard for his stuff. Having now read this – yeah, I stand by that. It’s not a bad book, but it’s just very much brainless dumb popcorn fun. Also he’s got a few writing quirks I kind of despise.

The story is about exactly what it says on the tin – a former grad student who dropped out to join a startup and then got fired and ended up doing food delivery during COVID runs into an old acquaintance and is offered a mysterious but high paying job ‘lifting things’. The job turns out to be with the eponymous Kaiju Preservation Society – an NGO with bases on an alternate earth, studying the nuclear-powered leviathans that are somehow its natural apex predators and protecting them from poachers. From there the plot plays out as you’d expect – crash course training and being introduced to the world, making friends, near-misses studying the Kaiju, an asshole billionaire whose revealed to be the villain, breaking the rules and disobeying orders with those friends to save a Kaiju from the billionaire before she goes nuclear and wipes out half of Newfoundland, and so on. Like I said, brainless popcorn. The pacing would actually work very well adapted to a movie, I think – certainly the whole thing would do better with some visuals.

This is a very simple novel, clearly designed to be a comfort read rather than something you wrestle with. Everyone is exactly who they appear to be when they’re introduced, there’s no moral complexity or clever mysteries, the plot plays out beat for beat as you would expect it to. Cozy fantasy for people who like giant monsters and action scenes, I guess?

The tone is very jokey, in a very 2010s nerd culture kind of way? This is a book written about people who name the bases on the world full of 12-story kaiju after classic Godzilla movies, and for people who would do the same. Just about every sympathetic major character is a massive nerd of some variety, and this is very clearly a reason you’re supposed to relate to and like them. And the lampshading – the book knows its worldbuilding makes no sense, and it takes pains to point this out to you as you read it so you can laugh at it, again and again. Hell, it lampshades how much its lampshading, complete with a definition of the term that feels like it was read right off of TV Tropes. Others may find this endearing, for me it just grated intensely.

Lastly - so this isn’t a book about COVID, but it’s very clearly a pandemic novel. The non-Kaiju World parts will probably be a fascinating cultural artifact for undergrads a couple decades down the line. It’s got the housing crisis, the gig economy, ZIRP corporate phantasmagoria, COVID lockdowns, and all that’s before all the cultural references. Anyway, it wins a decent amount of goodwill from me by remembering the existence of all the people for whom ‘lockdown’ wasn’t really a thin because ‘essential worker’ was a shockingly broad category. Still, it’s all just backdrop that stuck out too me, not really the book’s actual subject.

Anyway yeah, I’m probably being a bit harsh – this was nominated for a Hugo? Really? - but the book’s fine. Inoffensive. Would make a great Disney movie.

[jimmyogames]

Katana ZERO and The Beauty of Stupid Premises

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*****

<Spoilers for Katana ZERO>

Katana ZERO is a game about a Vietnam War veteran former child soldier hopped up on MK Ultra time juice going around and cutting assholes down with a katana while wearing a bathrobe and sandals.

That sounds stupid, right? That is a stupid ass premise for anything, let alone a video game. Everything about that premise should reasonably clash against itself so hard that it collapses into a black hole.

And yet, Katana ZERO is one of my favorite games of all time. Didn't I just call it stupid, though? Yes, and I don't think it isn't stupid; but stupid does not mean dumb. Something can be stupid while still being clever, intelligent, and downright fucking gripping.

Because a premise is just that: a base idea upon which you build upward. You can make anything sound stupid when you strip it back to its foundation. Super Mario Bros. is a game about a fat, Italian plumber taking mushrooms to save a princess from a shitty Godzilla turtle. Disco Elysium is about an amnesiac cop who bumbles his way about a ghetto trying to piece together a murder mystery and not die of a heart attack in the process. Bloodborne is about some pinhead getting crunk off blood and, picking up a hacksaw, and going to war with a bunch of racist Londoners who turn into werewolves who turn into space aliens.

When you put things in such a manner, anything can seem utterly absurd — even the most grounded of fiction. As we all know, though, the reality is that these games are beloved. These games, which are built upon downright ridiculous concepts, are lauded as some of the most brilliant pieces of media ever conceived; and they work so well not in spite of their premises, but because of them.

No matter what idea you start with, it can always be made exceptional if it is well-thought out and carefully executed — which brings us back to Katana ZERO. Consider the premise I stated at the beginning of this post and ponder its individual elements. "Vietnam War veteran former child soldier hopped up on MK Ultra time juice"? How could anyone take that seriously? Well, the answer is that the game handles its characters and narrative in a way that presents them earnestly, without trying to lampshade or sidestep its innate absurdity. The main protagonist's past goes from appearing comedic on paper to being tragic when all the details actually unfold in the story. No part of "Vietnam War veteran former child soldier" is superfluous; they are each aspects of both the protagonist and the larger themes at play and are treated as if this was a retelling of an actual person's experiences.

The same is true for the rest of the premise. "MK Ultra time juice" is both a relevant story beat and one of the cruxes of the gameplay in Katana ZERO. As silly as it is to think about how the government shooting you up with hyper heroin can make your character slow down time, the way the game presents the issue turns it from nonsense to a striking commentary on drug use — and it does so while also weaving it into the gameplay without missing a beat!

This brings us to the last point in the premise: the fact that all of the aforementioned is true of a character who wields a katana instead of something more realistic, like a gun. Katanas have become a bit infamous over the years as the weapon of choice of people a little too invested in Japanese culture. It's to the point where when a lot of people hear mention of katanas, their minds go straight to scenes of sweaty neckbeards slicing up plastic bottles in their backyards. Thus, a game which revolves around a katana-user and his prolific master of dicing bodyguards like vegetables likely puts people off at first! Butchering hordes of enemies ninja-style is not only more fantastical than something akin to Call of Duty, but it's more comical too — at least in the eyes of many a modern person. How could something like this ever amount to more than Apple Store shovelware, let alone a masterpiece of narrative-gameplay marriage?

The answer, again, is sincerity — and confidence. Katana ZERO works not because it takes itself extremely seriously or attempts to play off the zaniness of its premise, but rather because it puts its foot forward without hesitation and without embarrassment. Katana ZERO dares to say "Yeah, you play as a junkie shinobi who uses time powers to turn bald dudes into confetti. You either accept that fact or fuck off." And it's because of that sincerity that it can wrap back around from being stupid to being captivating. When everyone stops trying to take games apart and boil them down to their ludicrous concepts, that's when you can become truly immersed in an experience — and Katana ZERO knows this. It knows this and invites you to leave your pretenses at the door. "Come on in," it says. "Let's cut some motherfuckers, shall we?"

Everything I've said applies universally, not just to Katana ZERO. Stupid premises stand out in the sea of realistic mediocrity that bubbles up from the dark depths of big business, whether it be in the movies industry, games industry, or what have you. The simple fact of the matter is that when you get stupid, you get creative. You leave behind the shackles of established norms and allow yourself to make something truly unfiltered. Something memorable. Something that, though it can be called ridiculous or absurd or whatever else, can hit you in the heart.

That's what makes Katana ZERO so good, and I invite all my fellow creatives to get stupid in turn.

[ckret2]

Power to you with regards to wanting to finish with Gravity Falls first. I passed over so many pieces of media just so I'd be READY for when Hazbin dropped the season. When I hyperfixate, it's almost never a choice, I just get thrown around with no will of my own. And it happens fast. Sounds like you're kinda the same way, so ride that wave while you're on it, and hopefully we'll see you on the other side!

I'm exactly the same. I got into Hazbin because I was working to finish the draft of a 500k word Invader Zim fic during nanowrimo, went "oh I need a break, maybe I'll watch that one episode pilot my mutuals keep mentioning just to unwind," and next thing i know I'm writing a 30k romantic tragedy between a serial killer and a goofy snake, reading multiple scholarly books on the history of radio broadcasting, and filling my bookmarks with links to sites on medieval demonology and the history of New Orleans.

It's always like that! I got hooked on Godzilla from one movie I saw on a whim because a mutual was asking a bunch of pals to see it, and now I have strong opinions on the characterization of a three-headed space dragon. My current Gravity Falls hyperfixation came because whenever The Sims 4 updates and all the current mods break, I go back to a mod-free backup file where I'm building the Mystery Shack and rewatch a bunch of episodes to get references of the shack—and somehow, after 4-5 times of doing that and losing interest again within a week, in March my brain suddenly went "you know what, this time I think we're gonna make Gravity Falls our entire personality for, oh... at least the next year."

I'm taking no chances now! Outside Gravity Falls almost all of my current media consumption is nonfiction because I never hyperfixate on nonfiction. I'm putting off watching Hazbin and listening to The Magnus Protocol. When I am reading/watching fiction, it's as research on topics/genres relevant to the fic. What this means is I've read Flatland and watched almost all of the 80's Care Bears series. (Care Bears was very nearly a bad decision. I started developing emphatic headcanons about No Heart and Mr Beastly's backstories. We had a close call. It's okay, I'm past it, luckily tumblr has a nigh-on nonexistent Care Bears fandom.)

Adulthood is figuring out how your ADHD functions by trial and error and corralling it into doing what you want by setting up clever traps and blockades to steer it.

[monarch-afterdark]

Titan History: Monster Zero/Ghidorah

Welcome once again to Monarch: After Dark, the digital gateway between you and the organisation dedicated to understanding and navigating this troubled new world we live in.

Our first entry under Crimson-level clearance, and this is one we've been wanting to get out there as soon as we could. We've covered a variety of Titans and superspecies before, each unique in their own way, but none quite like this. Today, we finally break open Pandora's Box, as we dive into The One Who is Many; Monster Zero...

(Pictured above: One of the earliest cave paintings found confirming Monster Zero's existence, circa. 1973)

Monarch Database File: Monster Zero

Monarch Designation: Monster Zero, "King Ghidorah"

Height: 521 feet

Weight: 141,056 tons

Wingspan: 1,300 feet

Nature: Bio-Electrical

Behavioural Classification: Destroyer

-----

A creature so dreaded by the ancient civilisations that walked this Earth before us that they tried in vain to erase it from history, Monster Zero (also known as Ghidorah) is a Titan unlike any we have encountered so far, or likely ever will. Widely considered by Monarch to be an extraterrestrial organism, Monster Zero came to Earth several millenia ago in an attempt to terraform the planet for itself. Defeated in a climactic battle with Godzilla, Monster Zero was sealed in a frozen tomb in Antarctica by the ancient Titan Shimo (as determined by new evidence), where it would lay dormant for thousands of years, awaiting the day it could rise again...

Monster Zero is a golden three-headed dragon of truly gargantuan size and strength, able to generate cataclysmic storms that it can use to conceal itself. These storms are also capable of merging with other storm systems, turning them into natural disasters, as was the case with Skull Island. Monster Zero is additionally capable of firing "gravity beams" from each of its three heads, able to push back other Titans or even disintegrate smaller creatures outright. The Titan is also capable of firing blasts from the tips of its wings after absorbing a sufficient amount of electrical energy.

A rare instance of a multi-headed organism, Monster Zero's heads each have their own individual personalities as observed by Monarch. The center head is seen as the 'leader', commanding and authoritative. The right head is particularly aggressive, while the left head is more inquistive and curious. While some took to misinterpreting the left head as being aloof and childish, all three of Monster Zero's heads display a level of malice unlike (almost) all other Titans.

Monster Zero is also an incredibly durable and resilient creature. Surviving millenia of being frozen inside Shimo's ice, immunity to the effects of the Oxygen Destroyer, and even its severed middle head surviving without its body whilst dangling from Godzilla's mouth are all testament to this creature's drive and refusal to die. Its brief posthumous resurrection inside of Mechagodzilla is additional testament.

(Pictured above: Monster Zero frozen inside of the 'Wall of Serpents', circa. 2019)

Much of Monster Zero's past is shrouded in mystery, lost to time through the efforts of the ancients to erase it from history. What was recovered, was that Monster Zero was a dragon who "fell from the stars", whose storms "swallowed both man and Gods alike". Its motives wouldn't be known until much later, but it clashed with Godzilla several times, who had seen Monster Zero as being a rival Alpha. During a final battle in Antarctica, Godzilla worked with Shimo to defeat Monster Zero, the ice Titan sealing it in a frozen tomb where it wouldn't be able to conquer Earth for itself...

In 2016, Monarch discovered Monster Zero frozen in Antarctica, though the organisation were aware of his existence from as early as 1973. Outpost 32 was constructed around his tomb, under the guide of Vivienne Graham, who had omninously recorded in her footnotes that "the Devil has three heads". It was Emma Russell that had designated the creature as Monster Zero.

In 2019, after awakening Mothra from her ancient temple, Alan Jonah's organisation stormed Outpost 32 and took over, planning to free Monster Zero from the ice using explosive charges. The creature was released after Monarch arrived, during a confrontation between Emma, her daughter Madison and ex-husband Mark Russell. When Monster Zero awoke, it effortlessly reduced Monarch soldiers to ash with its gravity beams, before setting sights on the survivors' Osprey.

Godzilla's arrival saved their lives, though Monster Zero soon gained the advantage and shot Godzilla down the crater it had made in its escape. The arrival of the Argo jet forced a retreat, with Godzilla chasing Monster Zero down toward Isla de Mara, Mexico. It quickly dealt with Rodan after Monarch had lured him into its storm, though Godzilla arrived before it could target the Argo.

(Pictured above: Monarch footage of Monster Zero's "alpha call", Rodan bowing to it below, circa. 2019)

Whilst Godzilla quickly gained the upper hand on Monster Zero underwater, their battle was interrupted by the Oxygen Destroyer's deployment. Godzilla became severely weakened and had to retreat, whilst Monster Zero emerged moments later unaffected by the weapon. It perched atop Rodan's volcano, absorbing energy that it used to regenerate a head that Godzilla had torn off, before emitting an "alpha call" that awakened Titans from across the world and commanded them to destroy humanity under its instruction.

Monster Zero and Rodan would later travel to Washington DC, where the former was described as roosting. Monster Zero's cataclysmic storm generation had completely destroyed the city, leaving it a flooded waste.

Madison Russell, after stealing the ORCA sonar device from under Jonah and Emma's noses, travelled to an evacuated Boston and used the device to pacify the rogue Titans. This succeeded, though Monster Zero had arrived to Boston first under the assumption that there was a rival Alpha to be eliminated. Monster Zero proceeded to hunt Madison down through Fenway Park, though the arrival of a revived Godzilla and Monarch's military forces stopped it from killing her.

Godzilla and Monster Zero's duel was brutal and long, the two Titans evenly matched until Monster Zero bit down on a power transformer and absorbed vast amounts of electrical energy, allowing it to fire a burst of lightning strikes from its wings, incapacitating Godzilla and wiping out most of the Monarch forces also attacking it. Seizing the advantage, Monster Zero carried Godzilla into the skies, almost breaching the stratosphere, and dropped him back down into Boston. Mothra attempted to shield Godzilla and charge Monster Zero, though it disintegrated her body with a powerful blast of its gravity beams.

(Pictured above: Monster Zero using its "wing beam" attack to destroy Monarch forces in Boston, circa. 2019)

Monster Zero bit down on Godzilla after Mothra's ashes rained down onto him, absorbing energy (seen as a red glow travelling along his necks) to empower himself. A desperate plan from Emma Russell to use the ORCA as a distraction to buy Godzilla time to recover, and for Mark and Madison to be evacuated. It worked, and Monster Zero was consumed by thermonuclear pulses given off by Godzilla after he entered his Burning form.

Boston was virtually wiped off the map, though Monster Zero's disembodied middle head was still alive, even as its neck hung out of Godzilla's mouth. A final blast of atomic breath destroyed the final head, and Godzilla cemeted his place as the Alpha Titan of Earth.

In Isla de Mara, Alan Jonah and his organisation acquired the severed head of Monster Zero from Isla de Mara after it had been dredged up by fishermen struggling due to the Oxygen Destroyer's effects.

(Pictured above: Monster Zero's skull in Apex Cybernetics HQ, repurposed as a control module for Mechagodzilla, circa. 2024)

At some point between 2019 and 2024, Apex Cybernetics acquired the severed Monster Zero head from Jonah's organisation, stripping it down to a skull and using it as a control module for their ultimate weapon, Mechagodzilla.

In 2021, one of Monster Zero's storms that had persisted travelled toward and merged with the residual storm system isolating Skull Island from the rest of the world. This merge plunged the island into chaos, allowing the Titan Camazotz to reawaken, and resulted in the island's destruction, necessitating Kong's removal and relocation to Hollow Earth.

In 2024, after acquiring an energy source from an ancient temple in Hollow Earth, Apex accidentally revitalised Monster Zero, whose consciousness had survived its death but remained dormant within its skull. This consciousness merged with Mechagodzilla's AI, creating a new hybrid consciousness. After killing its creators, Mechagodzilla rampaged through Hong Kong before engaging Godzilla and Kong in battle. The two Titans working together resulted in Mechagodzilla's destruction, and the final end for Monster Zero.

-----

And that's all she wrote on Monster Zero! The implications of extraterrestrial Titans are certainly unsettling, and the lack of attention being put toward the stars may well come around and bite humanity one day in the future, though Monster Zero currently remains the only known alien. Much of its history on Earth, or reason for coming here at all, is unknown, though Monarch are working hard to uncover the entire story.

Until next time,

Monarch: After Dark

[hrodvitnon]

If I were to have any wants for the next movie, aside from the pitch Wingard already gave, I would want for us to get some deeper, more detailed insight into the current state of the world. How the presence of Titans has affected the everyday citizen, how the destruction of countless major cities has affected their lives and how they go about, how governments and Monarch are responding to their concerns, and so on. And on Godzilla's end, I would want for us to get a similar treatment for him too. See what he's up to whenever he's sleeping or fighting, which are the only two things we saw him do in the movies so far. However, and this is an important bit, I wouldn't want for the movie to bend over backwards to try and make him seem overly sympathetic. After all, him having more of an edge than someone like Mothra or Kong, as well as more mystery to his character, is a big part of the reason why people like him so much. Rather, I would only want for them to try and make us understand him just a little bit better, just a little. His methods may be brutal, and sometimes even cruel, but they work. And to him, that's what matters. So rather than tell the audience what to think, just teach them how to think and let them draw their own conclusions from there.

Assuming the audience has the required media literacy and critical thinking skills to understand "show, don't tell," but yeah. I do want Godzilla to have some degree of sympathy; not in a "Godzilla's not a big dumb bully, you guys are just mean uwu" sense, but in a way that gets anyone who might be saying he's a tyrannical bully to shut up and learn what nuance is, you know?

[dankusner]

Phoenician Scheme caper — capitalism is delightful

Wes Anderson’s “The Phoenician Scheme” opens with a bang: a grisly explosion, a plane crash and a dramatic close-up of tycoon Zsa-zsa Korda (Benicio del Toro), his battered face so lumpen and purple it resembles eggplant Parmesan.

Zsa-zsa is a survivor and a fighter and an indefatigable entrepreneur; his relentless energy is matched by nothing else other then Alexandre Desplat’s thrilling ticking time bomb of a score.

He’s also a one-man plague whose ruinations include famine, slavery and a string of mysteriously dead ex-wives.

“I never personally murdered anybody,” Zsa-zsa insists with unconvincing conviction.

And yet, Anderson sells us on rooting for this robber baron. We are the film’s mark.

It’s a pleasure to be so deftly swindled.

The scheme of the film’s title is Zsa-zsa’s grand plan to build a dam, tunnel and canal in coordinates that roughly correspond to Saudi Arabia, but are here known as Modern Greater Independent Phoenicia, presumably in honor of the ancient empire that prioritized trade over warfare and religion. (In their philosophy, the Phoenicians were closer to Amazon.com than Rome.)

Zsa-zsa has already convinced the necessary parties to agree: a prince (Riz Ahmed), two American industrialists (Tom Hanks and Bryan Cranston), a nightclub impresario (Mathieu Amalric), a sailor (Jeffrey Wright) and his cousin-fiancée (Scarlett Johansson).

Due to price-fixing sabotage by his enemies, though, Zsa-zsa must now convince everyone to earn a little less on the deal; he uses every tactic from barked threats to sports bets to a gift basket of grenades.

The other characters are impressed by his commitment, but they’re rarely fazed.

Wright’s Marty sums up Zsa-zsa’s appeal in a single line: “I supposed I’m moved by this absurd performance.”

Which we are. Del Toro’s charisma fills this larger-than-life role all the way to the brim.

He speaks in threats, bluffs and declarations, and when he gets hopped up, his hair stands on its end.

The script is all momentum and moxie, and every line out of Zsa-zsa’s mouth is a zinger, a koan of mischief in its hypocrisy (“I’m willing to believe in the opposite of my convictions”) or delusional self-sufficiency (“I’ll save myselfmyself,” he asserts, as quicksand rises over his hips).

These escapades are set in 1950 and have a handsome vintage color palette of white, gray, green, metal and wood.

The style is fitting since the modern world doesn’t make many men like this anymore, only ones who posture like big shots.

As Zsa-zsa, bloodied from his latest near-death escapade, lumbers toward a news camera clutching his innards (“a vestigial organ,” he says with a shrug), the only contemporary equivalent who measures up is the filmmaker Werner Herzog, who, upon being shot in the gut mid-interview, dismissed it as “an insignificant bullet.”

What Zsa-zsa’s passion project actually will do is a bit vague, even after he unveils a spectacular working miniature with running water and toy trains that exists mostly for the delightful inevitability that someone is bound to stomp around on it like Godzilla.

That’s not a weakness in the script.

The idea seems to be that whatever it is, accomplishing itisthe accomplishment — that the goal itself is the goal.

There’s money involved, too, of course, and it sounds impressive: 5% of the profits for the next 150 years.

But it’s not like Zsa-zsa will live long enough to reap the reward.

Over the course of the movie, he’s nearly murdered a half-dozen times by bullets, bombs, poison gas and a good old-fashioned clobbering.

“If it works, it’s a miracle,” Zsa-zsa sighs.

Luckily, he’s traveling with an aspiring nun, his estranged daughter, Liesl (a strong Mia Threapleton), who insists she wants nothing to do with him or his money, professing the same allegiance to piety as he does to racketeering.

The soul of the movie is in watching these ramrod opposites bend and intertwine. They’re also joined by a tutor, Bjørn (Michael Cera), a self-described bohemian who speaks in a sing-songy Swedish accent that draws every bubbling syllable out of the sentence: “Beer is de-li-ci-ous.”

With his owlish orange glasses and mincing theatrical manners, Cera seems custom-designed for Anderson’s style. He’s as spot-on as the production design’s gridded tile floors or a crisp camera move that pans precisely to a visual gag.

“There is no love in this house,” Liesl declares. “God is absent.”

There’s a lot of religious cross-talk that doesn’t entirely stitch together. Zsa-zsa repeatedly exclaims that Nubar “isn’t human, he’s biblical.” It’s anybody’s guess what that means. Some sort of Old Testament vengeance?

Meanwhile, the imagery encompasses everything from Anubis, the Egyptian deity of the dead, to Liesl’s blasphemously bejeweled rosary that comes to symbolize the temptation to turn into her dad. It’s worth noting that we’re more disappointed when her Mother Superior (Hope Davis) reveals herself to be greedy than by her father’s flagrant scamming. At least Zsa-zsa is proud of his sins.

Or is he? Every time he gets close to death, he’s forced to stare eternal judgment in the face via black-and-white fantasy sequences in whichBill Murrayplays God, withWillem Dafoe,F. Murray AbrahamandCharlotte Gainsbourgas his heavenly troupe. These scenes are stunning, poetic and unabashedly Bergmaneqsue. Between them and our own awareness that ancient faiths have built pyramids and temples that will outlast anything our century’s billionaires will manage to construct, you do feel a sense of divine awe.

It’s not that you have to believe that there is a force out there more powerful than Zsa-zsa or, heck, even money itself. But if that doesn’t move you, at least Anderson deserves reverence for negotiating how to get all these A-list talents to act in his movie for peanuts.

He’s managed to build yet another dazzler, a shrine to his own ambition and craft. And while it sometimes feels a bit drafty in the corners, the accomplishment itself is plenty.

Running time: 1 hour 41 minutesRating: PG-13 (violent content, bloody images, some sexual material, nude images, and smoking throughout)

Wes Anderson and Co. embark on elaborate save-a-soul mission

A peculiar tension exists inside nearly every frame created by writer-director Wes Anderson.

The geometric visual preoccupation of the framing; the actors, sometimes in motion but more frequently motionless; the manifestation of storytelling as a series of the prettiest shoebox dioramas in modern cinema:

It’s more than a style or a look to Anderson.

It’s his way of seeing the world through a lens of comic stoicism, right at the edge of art-installation territory.

The tension in those images comes from two places.

The unfortunate place: When the comic banter or monologuing strains for laughs, or goes sideways, it sometimes dies an extra, tiny, momentary death because of the arch, extreme formality of the presentation.

The more fortunate source of tension is where the actors live.

In Anderson’s lavishly talented ensembles, the majority of the performers fulfill the basic requirements of being in a Wes Anderson movie, which can involve spitting out long reams of dialogue quickly, directly, without a lot of sauce.

It also involves the task of portraying a human in a specific realm of unreality and in a kind of permanent repose, even in motion.

But hitting the marks and holding the pose isn’t enough.

There’s movement, of course, in every Anderson comedy, and in the best ones, the movement and the sight gags are funnier because of the stillness surrounding that movement.

Whatever you want to call Anderson’s universe — I’ll go with Deadpandia — it’s not easy to activate as a performer.

When the right actor wriggles free of the constraints and finds a rhythm, a heartbeat and a human spark, it’s magic.

Benicio Del Toro is the star of “The Phoenician Scheme,” Anderson’s 12th and latest.

But the ringer is Michael Cera, as Norwegian tutor Bjørn Lund, employed as an all-purpose factotum by the shady, swaggering, death-defying entrepreneur played by Del Toro.

In one go, Cera joins the top tier of Anderson alums, which includes Ralph Fiennes (“The Grand Budapest Hotel,” “The Wonderful Story of Henry Sugar”) and, from Anderson’s earlier, looser years, Gene Hackman and Anjelica Huston (“The Royal Tenenbaums”) and, of course, Bill Murray in everything (he has a brief cameo here, as God).

Cera is terrifically subtle in everything he does, from pricelessly cheap dialect humor to sudden bursts of jealousy.

He’s delightful, even if “The Phoenician Scheme” is only occasionally that.

The movie’s largely about other characters.

A frequent target of assassins, forever surviving plane crashes in between business deals, Anatole “Zsa-zsa” Korda (Del Toro) embarks on the riskiest development project of his life, indicated by Anderson’s title.

It consists of a dam, tunnels, a canal and a general colonialist ravaging of a desert region (fictional, but with plenty of real-world Middle Eastern inspirations).

Funding this beast means negotiating with several investors, among them a French nightclub owner (Mathieu Amalric), a pair of American industrialists (Tom Hanks, Bryan Cranston) and, above all, Korda’s estranged daughter, Liesl, a cynical novitiate and Korda’s intended heiress, played by Mia Threapleton.

“The Phoenician Scheme” is a tale of what money can buy, and what money can’t.

Stringing episodes together, screenwriter Anderson (working from a story co-created by Roman Coppola) treats Korda as a cocky survivor of fabulous riches.

Through his adventures in fundraising, and realization that he won’t last forever, Korda learns from Liesl a little about what makes a legacy important.

Meantime, he negotiates family matters with his 10 young sons and his scowling brother, Uncle Nubar (Benedict Cumberbatch), who may be Liesl’s father, and whose massive woodcut of a beard comes straight from Orson Welles’ billionaire in “Mr. Arkadin.”

The overall vibe of fishy exoticism owes something to “Mr. Arkadin” as well. Anderson works here with a cinematographer new to him, the excellent Bruno Delbonnel, shooting on 35mm film.

Anderson regulars Adam Stockhausen (production design, first-rate) and Milena Canonero (costume design, brilliant and vibrant as always) evoke a dreamlike 1950s setting in every soundstage-bound detail.

And the story?

Well, it has a little problem with over-elaboration.

“The Phoenician Scheme” follows a relatively straightforward narrative line, ticking off chapters as Korda addresses each of his prized (and literal) shoeboxes of research and minutiae regarding the massively disruptive, slave labor-dependent construction project.

It’s easier to parse what’s going on here compared to the hyperlinking and layering of “The French Dispatch” and “Asteroid City.”

But the protagonist is a bit of a bore.

And somehow, right now, on planet Earth in 2025, a movie about a craven oligarch on a spree hits a mixed chord, let’s say.

It is, however, striking to see what happens in the epilogue of this up-and-down Anderson film, when Del Toro — who looks splendid but struggles to locate a lightness of touch the material could use — finally gets a few moments of on-screen relaxation in the epilogue.

That’s by design:

He is not the same person at the end of his story. But I wonder if Anderson erred in maintaining such a tight hold on Del Toro and Threapleton en route to the story destination.

A beautiful mixed bag, let’s say, all told. But I’ll see “The Phoenician Scheme” a second time sometime for Cera, who will surely return to the Anderson fold.

COMEDY THE PHOENICIAN SCHEME B-

‘They say you murdered my mother,” the young would-be nun tells the shady tycoon.

“I feel the need to address this.”

There’s something about the deadpan delivery and the clear-eyed manner that makes you sit up and take notice of Liesl, and even more of Mia Threapleton, who plays her in The Phoenician Scheme .

(And there’s another thing, too obvious to ignore: Boy, does she ever resemble her mom, Kate Winslet.)

A vivid presence despite her dry-as-dust tone, Threapleton makes a splendid Wes Anderson debut here as half the father-daughter duo, along with Benicio Del Toro, that drives the director’s latest creation.

Their emerging relationship is what stands out amid the familiar Andersonian details:

The picture book aesthetic.

The meticulous production design.

The chapter cards.

And most of all the labyrinthine plot.

Indeed, Anderson seems to be leaning into some of these characteristics, giving the impression of becoming even more, well, Anderson than before.

He will probably delight his most ardent fans but perhaps lose a few others with the plot, which becomes a bit exhausting to follow as we reach the midpoint.

But what is the Phoenician scheme, anyway?

It’s a sweeping, ambitious, somewhat corrupt dream of one Anatole “Zsa-zsa” Korda (Del Toro), one of the richest industrialists in Europe, to exploit a vast region of the world.

We begin in 1950, with yet another attempt on Korda’s life.

Recovering at his estate — with some fabulous tile bathroom floors — Korda summons Liesl from the convent where he sent her at age 5.

He wants her to be his sole heir — and avenger, should his plentiful enemies get him.

But Liesl isn’t very interested in the Korda Land and Sea Phoenician Infrastructure Scheme.

What she wants to know is who killed her mother.

They soon hit the road to secure investments in the scheme.

And the voyage involves — obviously! — a long line of characters only Anderson could bring to life, played by notables including Michael Cera, Tom Hanks, Bryan Cranston, Jeffrey Wright, Scarlett Johansson and Benedict Cumberbatch.

[decisivelyindecisivelibra]

A Far From Comprehensive List of Some Excellent--Usually Long--TDBK Fics

The Journey Home by dinosuns

11k, 1/1

Rated: T 

Ao3 Summary:

“Your hair looks real fucking nice.”

“I thought it was about time I grew it out,” Todoroki says, something wistful caught in his voice.  “You were always saying I should.”

That’s true.  And Bakugou is satisfied to know he was right about it looking good, but it’s not like he can share that with thefucking class anymore.

–

Bakugou tells himself that he’s fine with how things turned out between them.  He also tells himself he’s not still in love.

Personal Notes: this might have been the first tdbk I ever read.  The writing and vibes are gorgeous and it truly nails the emotion; I liken it to winter morphing into spring, if that makes sense.  5+ years later and I still think about it semi-regularly and listen to the song mentioned in the author’s notes.  It’s also a departure from dinosuns’ usual genres, but everything I’ve ever read of theirs has been a pleasure.

the lights are all out (it’s a big big city) by shaekspeares

139k, 11/11

Rated: T

Ao3 Summary:

Izuku leaves for America for six months; Shouto fights his way into the Top 5 Hero Rank, takes out Godzilla, reconnects with a criminal, adopts a cat, and has several other belated emotional crises (not necessarily in that order).  He might also be in love with Bakugou, but that’s another problem altogether.

Izuku probably shouldn’t have leave him to his own devices anymore.

Personal Notes: While focused on Bakugo and Todoroki, there’s no shortage of other characters and friendships including–but not limited to–remedial squad, bakusquad, various one-on-one dekusquad members, and Midoriya and his absense.  Written years before the manga finished, there’s a delightful amount of accurate predictions.  Plus, the way shaekspeares explores quirks and the bnha world is fantastic and thought provoking; there’s also some Todoroki family drama/angst, because I’m a sucker for that.  Admist all of this, there’s an intriguing case and some exceedingly gratifying competency from our heroes and great stakes. I’ve read this particular work at least twice, and although I’ve only included one other work by shaekspeares, I’ve enjoyed every one of their bnha fics.    

damn, if these walls could talk by shaekspeares

38k, 5/5

Rated: G 

Ao3 Summary:

After his careful vacation planning is thwarted by an impromptu blizzard, Izuku finds himself stuck indefinitely inside a snowed-in hotel with his best friend/ex-boyfriend and his other best friend/ex-nemesis, who barely like each other.  Also he’s pretty sure the place is haunted and trying to kill them, which no one else wants to admit, even when the halls start leaking blood.  So not his worst holiday yet, but a strong contender.

Alternatively: Izuku spends a week trying to save Katsuki and Shouto from a host of malevolent ghosts while completely failing to notice that they’re into each other and on the verge of killing him themselves if he interrupts them one more time.

Personal Notes: The way that bnha elements are translated into this AU is inventive and works brilliantly.  Despite the spooky setting and supernatural themes, this truely feels like a mystery and comedy, with much of the unnerving feeling coming through via Midoriya’s own perceptions.  Less overtly tdbk focused that most on this list, it still lives in the fringes, visible to the reader if not Midoriya, and the great dynamic between the three of them is a treat. 

A New Thing by Esselle

2.4k, 1/1

Rated: T

Ao3 Summary:

'Exactly twenty four nights ago, Bakugou Katsuki ate Todoroki Shouto's leftover soba right out of the Yuuei first year dorm refrigerator.' 

Personal Notes: Disclaimer, I picked just this one, but–sounding like a broken record–I can strongly recommend everything of theirs that I’ve read.  I draw for me here is it’s a fun early tdbk fic with a great mix of domesticity and typical gremlin behavior.  Think remedial squad arc vibes with a twist of more-or-less willing attraction and a soft/start of something new ending.    

House Rules by Yuu_chi

16.9k, 1/1

Rated: E

Ao3 Summary:

“You absolute fuckface,” Katsuki says, with all the love and adoration that makes a long lasting marriage, “you’ve bought us a fucking haunted house.”

Personal Notes: I’m not really sure how to elaborate on this better than the summary already does.  The characterization of the two shines through here and it creates a mostly hilarious tale of these two dealing with their haunted house and a variety of people’s reactions to the house and their reactions.  There’s a strangely effective domestic streak too, which pairs well with the haunting and the heated moments.  Much like the other authors on this list, I commend their other works, in particular, Midnight Shallows returns with frequency.

His Strategy by blacklightshine

18.6k, 2/2

Rated: E

Ao3 Summary:

Years into their pro hero careers, Bakugou and Todoroki take a trip to Ishikawa for a well-earned break. A luxurious ryokan, a private onsen, and a perfectly curated atmosphere—all part of Bakugou’s plan. Not that he’d ever admit it.

It was supposed to take time. A slow burn, a chance to test the waters.

Then Todoroki, realizes his feelings, confesses immediately, and Bakugou loses control of the entire situation.

Personal Notes: 431 was kind to Todoroki and leaves the way open for almost every character to go any conceivable direction, and this beauty capitalizes on that freedom.  By far the latest written fic here, and while I love AUs and speculation, I am also Weak for things that are canon-compliant(to a point), which I think is part of why I love this.  It picks up seamlessly from where 431 leaves things and runs with the tdbk, which.  Yessssss.  As for the actual content, the voices and characterization between the two chapters are fantastic and it’s clear the author has great affection for Japan and knows their stuff.  Beautifully written and emotionally poignant while still capturing their gremliny personalities and the magic of the place/retreat.  Love it!   

the choir preaches back by Tierfal

19.3k, 1/1

Rated: T 

Ao3 Summary:

Shouto landing in the ICU results in a family reunion that none of them wanted.

Personal Notes: I’ve probably followed Tierfal through a solid three-four fandoms, and they’re always on point.  This^ is tdbk, but Shouto also spends 90+% of it unconscious, with Bakugo, Hawks, and the rest of the Todorokis interacting/orbiting around the situation and its complications.  Definitely character study heavy, mostly focused on young pro-hero Shouto and Bakugo and Endeavor.  Outpaced canon so there are some deviations from how things ultimately play out, but the various complicated relationships are portrayed and explored beautifully, and characters that canon (under) utilizes are fleshed out realistically.  There’s almost an outside pov feel, but fascinatingly, sometimes it’s the non-Todorokis looking in, and sometimes its the non-heroes toward the heroes.  The different layers and emotions and nuance here is divine, and it’s a gem to read, although, if Endeavor or Hawks or EndHawks aren’t your thing, it might not be up your alley.

Look Alive by Tierfal

77.6k, 7/7

Rated: T

Ao3 Summary:

Everybody loves a good kidnapping, taking “everybody” to mean “absolutely no one, except arguably Hawks.”

Personal Notes:  Okay, here me out.  Have you ever wanted Endeavor and newish-pro Shouto handcuffed together (with all of their relationship complications), pursued by dangerous enemies (lacking lethal intent, mostly) in a forest, with only semi-functional quirks?  And on the other side of this equation, you have Bakugo and Hawks teaming up to figure out what happened, and how to get them back and nab the responsible parties.  This goes about as well as you think it does, on every account.  The mystery behind the kidnapping is amazing and such a. . .inspired realistic reason, and the way all the different personalities but competencies clash is fantastic.  The writing and characterization is on point, and it’s just a great, well-rounded, possibly happier post-canon read.

knit you a sweater (write you a love letter) by lelex

21.7k, 1/1

Rated: T 

Ao3 Summary:

Deku shakes his head to himself and pushes right past that claim.  “I tried to get you to start knitting with me last year and every few months since then but you’re going to start because of your hot friend telling you about an old wives’ tale?”

“He’s not fuckin’ hot,” Katsuki grumbles, pinching the bridge of his nose between his thumb and pointer finger. “And it’s a curse, get it right.”

*

Or, Katsuki buys stupid Deku the best Christmas present of all time, learns to knit purely out of spite, debunks the (totally bullshit) sweater curse, and gains a boyfriend in the process.

Personal Notes: This fic feels kind of like of like a warm sweater itself, which seems appropriate.  As explosive and at-odds as Bakugo and Todorki’s relationship dynamic can be, the softer side comes through here.  The yarn shop is a soothing and cozy setting that really comes to life, providing a lively backdrop.  In what seems to be a theme, Midoriya once again lurks in the background, arguably kicking off the fic.  I am also weak for the “talk nerdy to me” trope, so learning about knitting was a perk.

Fire in the Mountains by EllaBesmirched (El_Bell) for Ajaxthegreat

167.5k, 21/21 

Rated: E

Ao3 Summary:

“I’ll do it.”

Enji froze, fingers curling into a fist at his side, and didn’t turn around.

Shouto froze too, feeling his own eyes widen in shock at the words that had come out of his mouth, at the fact that he had actually stood up, followed his father out of the room and dashed after him all just to say…he’d do it?  He would do it?  Him.  Shouto Todoroki.  He would–

Enji finally turned around and fixed Shouto with an expression so scathing, Shouto had to fight to keep his chin raised.  “You’ll marry the Barbarian King.”

Shouto blinked.  “Yes.”

Personal Notes: technically fudging the lines a bit on this one since it’s tdbkdk at minimum.  Very many ships and poly going on; I’m pretty sure that this is the fic that opened my eyes to the tdbkdk possibilities.  It’s a fantasy AU inspired by the relevant popularity polls and the first in a series.  If you’re here for the characters, it’s amazing, but the world building and plot are fantastic(hah!) and engrossing all on their own.  There’s So Much emotion, plot, magic, messy relations, and some pretty frickin’ hot liaisons.       

[polyhexian]

I know it's going to seem insane to bring up 9/11 in context of the 1998 Godzilla movie, but. Hey. If the original Godzilla is about Hiroshima and bikini atol, well.

It's insane watching this giant fucking lizard stomp through New York City streets and people are like ??? What's that sound? Is that another stupid parade?

And it's like... Just a few years from now, when this came out. There would be a huge violent tragedy in NYC. And people knew immediately. We have footage of the immediate panic. We have testimony of people who were working nearby and how the street outside the windows just went black, people emerging from the darkness to scramble through the doors. No one knew what was happening, but everyone was running.

The way people in NYC seem so annoyed to be leaving the city. The idea people would??? Go to work??? Get their stuff?? They-

Wow okay man there's been a lot of shots of the twin towers but they just mentioned the world trade center bombing

I mean

I can't even get into the idea that a fucking dinosaur is running around the streets of New York City, and no one knows where it is. It's hiding. It's a mystery. No one got a photo of the thing. One person got some crappy video footage. I can't even tell WHY it would be crappy quality. There's so many people in nyc

All these fucking people just. Hanging around. I live in Jersey now and I know people who were in NYC or had family in NYC during 9/11. everyone was fleeing. No one knew what was going to happen. No one was just fucking ambling around. They're either rubbernecking or they're leaving.

WHY would the mayor not want to evacuate the city. There is a fucking dinosaur running around. How did a dinosaur get into the subway without being seen. What the fuck. What the fuck. What is going on. What is the movie fucking talking about. Godzilla walked through a fucking building and left a big cartoonish hole in it and it didn't collapse. Godzilla can't melt steel beams, apparently. Well. Yeah, she doesn't have laser breath anymore. Makes sense.

I just. I can't understand this plot. How could the plot be "a giant dinosaur walked into NYC, no one noticed it coming, and then no one could get a picture of it as it wandered around and smashed through buildings. And then it managed to hide, inside of downtown NYC. Like it's just wandering around NYC and no one knows where it is. Like it's fucking hiding in times square or some shit." Who fucking wrote this. Who saw this and said, yeah, that makes sense. What. How is this the fucking plot

[chernobog13]

JLA vs. GODZILLA vs. KONG

A crossover between DC Comics and Legendary Comics, announced yesterday at SDCC.

Interior pages from a seven-issue mini-series wherein the Monsterverse mysteriously intersects with the DC Universe.

That’s Titano, not Kong, that Superman’s facing. (When did Titano become a robot or cyborg?  Did I miss that issue?)

For good measure, not only is the Justice League involved with the two titular battling titans (I hate using that word to describe kaiju), but also the Legion of Doom.

Le battle royale!

Hey, do you know what they call a “battle royale” in France?  A fight.

While this is a great idea, I think it would work better as a single, or at most double, premium-sized book.  Stretching the story out over seven issues just seems to be....well, stretching things a bit.

Face facts: Superman alone could stop both Godzilla and Kong AND be home in time for dinner, not to mention the entire Justice League working together.  So expect that: A) either the Legion of Doom come up with a scheme to use the monsters to destroy the heroes; or B) some unknown factor/person is at work to make defeating the kaiju more difficult than it should be.

Either way, as a DC superheroes and kaiju fan, I will be eagerly opening my wallet when these issues arrive at the comic shop.