#godddddddd they make me so sad. i WILL cry if i think about them for too long

[chiricat]

let's dance, nanako! 🎶

[fibrefox]

Opening instagram always fucking suuuucks

First thing I see is news of Finch passing away. It seemed a likely outcome given his slow decline, but my heart still shattered. The post referencing Lore was a second hit to my soul.

then I come to tumblr and search for content, and find lots of folks calling out the irresponsible nature of accounts sharing exotic animals and scrutinizing the quality of care of said animals. Absolutely agree that the animals do not look super healthy (though I don't know that as I have no experience keeping foxes), and the ethical implications of their accounts spilling out into harm coming to other foxes (and people. And ecosystems). Absolutely believe we need to be mitigating harm and discouraging this kind of content from continuing to go viral completely unexamined.

I also see that the voices calling them out are voices without credentials. They raise valid points, and I will always encourage critical thinking. It also strains credulity to believe that the call-out voices are also as familiar with coexistence with these critters.

Another dimension comes when they start shouting about anthropomorphising the animals. It IS important to remember to check yourself against assigning human meaning to animal behaviour. But from my time on the alpaca farm, you do get to know each individual and you will learn how each one communicates their feelings. Noticing that the animal 'smiles' when kissed is not going to mean the same thing as a human that smiles when kissed.

AND EVEN THEN, you don't know that the person who smiles is doing so from feeling happy. But if a familiar animal is expressing their feelings to you and you know what they're indicating from experience, I will take that far more seriously than a dismissal of inappropriately reading signals. Humans are not special in their capacity to feel. Animals of all sorts are just out there thinking and feeling and doing things.

This is all very important to talk about, and we as a society should be discussing the moral and ethical implications of reckless exotic animal social media accounts. We should be pushing back on the improper care on flagrant display. As happy as fox content makes me, knowing that the content currently available is directly contributing to additional harm to all animals involved (humans included!) is enough to make me withdraw the following to their accounts.

Anyway. heartbreak sadness grief cry ohhh godddddddd enough internet for today. I am Homer Simpson falling down the gorge. Emotionally.

[fixielixie]

Thanks again for the recs! Which are your fav wwx angst fics? Cause thats my brand of suffering

you are very welcome. if anything, thanks for asking because i love talking about mdzs and i also love talking about fics ive read jfhdjgk. i picked out some of my fav wangxian angst fics, because generally if one of them is sad so is the other. [points at wangxian] please dont separate them, not even in angst. the worth of a whipping boy by JemTheKingOfSass this one is a series and also super dark. very graphic too, deals with corporate punishment and child abuse so fair warning to anyone who clicks on. genuinely harrowing but so captivating to read too. i think about these fics at least once a week, it really sticks with you, yanno. there is a happy ending and healing though, so definitely worth the pain. Saw My Life in a Stranger's Face by timetoboldlygo anything that deals with post canon!wangxian is like an immediate fav for me. the concept of wwx slowly regaining his original body is so interesting and so well handled here. the fear and uncertainty for both lan wangji and wei wuxian as they try to understand what's happening ... Hurted. no dawn, no day, i'm always in this twilight by butterflylungs this one is very heavy on the lan wangji pain but like i said, his pain is also wei wuxians pain and this fic is one thing... Painful. honestly im bound to be emotional readin anything that deals with the aftermath of wwxs death, but this one Hurted. the moment when lwj finally lets go of the curse .... sobs every love story is a ghost story by aisthuu okay these are all very lwj hurt heavy but i cant help it... lwj just holds so much pain 😭. lwj once again getting haunted by a version of wwx, this time make is modern!lwj and mdzs!wwx. this one made me hurt so much though. godddddddd the ending is so perfect though, still made me cry like a baby, but in a less painful way.

[tfw-no-tennis]

mtmte liveblog issue 16

here we go, the crux of the pain...

ok I'm not prepared for this but I gotta rip the bandaid off, lets go

oh!!! magnus flashbacks!! I honestly thought these were shown later...this is such cool setup for the next arc tho I love it

and the tieback to the scavengers ark, showing fulcrum’s flashback but from magnus’s perspective, as the guy labelled with ‘ultra magnus’ blows him up...

and like, I love that those flashbacks are so vague, and you don't even really know why you're being shown them - I feel like when I first read this I assumed it was to show a bunch of times where magnus almost died but didn't even though he was expected to die - like here w/overlord - but we’ll soon find out that's not quite the case...

and I like the little details that don't add up, like the second flashback-magnus having his autobrand at an angle (which current-magnus would obviously hate), and the ‘witty banter’ remark about 3rd flashback-magnus, which could very well be genuine 

oh god oh christ the shot of the lost light flying away from the wreckage of the pod and you can see rewinds broken camera just floating there...fuckgin kill me bro

tg wiping off mangus’s leg because ‘he hates dirt’ tailgate ;_; ily 

drift just chillin with 0 legs left

augh poor tailgate, he’s uniquely unprepared for the horrors of battle after sitting out the whole war

oh god, chromedome is standing on the outside of the ship being sad, I already cant handle this

ohhhh god cd talking about him and rewind looking at the stars together ;_; excuse me while I cry my eyes out

chromedome, you have the worst goddamn coping mechanisms

never over rodimus’s office having flames around the door. my guy

magnus invented a font? that makes so much sense somehow

rodimus is worried about his dad :( 

damnnnnn rung with that absolutely BRUTAL read on rodimus, oof. way to kick someone when they're down...ouch

but really, rodimus’s hero complex is so fascinating, especially bc he’s aware that he has it to some degree, and he’s not necessarily a bad person, so he tries somewhat to avoid playing into it, but that's a difficult thing to do...

 brainstorm hugging his briefcase like that at the funeral...hhhh

swerve, the ‘case quest’ sounds like a spectacularly bad idea

god I'm so sad this whole issue but rodimus giving this big impassioned funeral speech that seems like its about rewind, only for it to REALLY be about some guy who turns into a tripod....really funny

godddd chromedome and brainstorm sitting together, and cd staring at his (remaining) hand....bro :(((

super interested in the fact that rodimus is religious, even though he’s not really overt about it, and it’s not touched on much in the story

rung staring intensely and accusingly at rodimus....jesus that's intimidating

chromedome is clearly uh. Not Coping well, which anyone could see after his “speech” about rewind

brainstorm giving cd that Look :( oh man oh god

GODDDDDDDD the reveal that chromedome has been through this THREE TIMES before, and every single time has chosen to forget, and the whole thing w/the innermost energon...im fucking devastated m8. god

hhhhh and brainstorm saying that he knows cd will go through with it, because they've had this same conversation multiple times before...fucking kill me 

also brainstorm and cd’s friendship is so AUGHHHHH my heart man. earlier on they're friendly assholes to each other but now we get to see that they both have a lot of deep emotions

oh god and now the whole thing with drift. hhhhhh this issue HURTS man

thinkin abt how brainstorm, while talking to cd, said that he thinks that drift ‘has the urge to name names’ but really, drift threw himself on the sword and took ALL the blame, even though cd even said, a lot of it was on him for going into the cell without telling anyone...plus brainstorm (and as we later find out, rodimus) is involved as well....AUGH

and drift being cast out so harshly seems rough, even though we know what he (and the others) did was bad

also looks like magnus is reanimating himself over in the medbay...i love all the symbolism with magnus’s hand this issue

OH GOD OH NO I CANT HANDLE THIS. REWINDS GOODBYE MESSAGE IS SERIOUSLY THE BIGGEST TEARJERKER IN THE STORY

‘you and me apart strikes me as intensely wrong’ I'm literally weeping. hello. I cant fucking handle this 

NOOOO GODDDD I seriously cant deal with rewinds message overlaid onto drift leaving the ship, and being attacked as he goes, and then ratchet helping him up with ‘you're a better person now - stubborn and frustrating but wonderful!’ over the panels AUGHHHH my heart cant handle any of this. my organs are shutting down as we speak

god I'm just ugly crying @ the end of the message.... ‘one more thing - one last thing - because I don't say it enough...I love you’ AUGHHHH

and its rewind himself who says the ‘I love you’ ;_; LOOK HOW HARD I CAN CRY!!!!!!!!!!!

and the panels of chromedome retracting his needles...he was ready to go through w/it just like brainstorm said but rewind was able to convince him otherwise from beyond the grave ;_; its about the LOVE man

like...rewind might not have known about cd’s past husbands and all the bad coping mechanism nonsense surrounding all that (or maybe he did? unclear) but either way, he knows chromedome so well by now, and knows that he’d be devastated by rewind dying, and so he leaves him this final message....additionally, I feel like rewind, being an archivist, would loathe the idea of being erased from the memory of the person who cares for him the most, and his goodbye message succeeded in preventing that

next, to give us a break from extreme emotional devastation brought about by gay robots, we check in with magnus, who has decided he’s had enough of all of this nonsense and has vacated the premise, somehow

aaaaand right back to being hit by a metaphorical emotional bat, because it looks like tailgate’s gonna die posthaste! 

I really love how the character profile descriptions change periodically

SO...this issue...this ARC....GODDDD. I mean its clear from my liveblogs that this destroyed me emotionally, phew....

I will say, I think the writing here is so excellent - this little 3-issue ‘arc’ felt like it had been built up to perfectly from the very beginning, and it all came together in a well-paced and devastating conclusion here 

I mean, this isn't the end of s1, we still have remain in light, but a lot of plot points wrapped up here. I don't know much about comics but I feel like they can get cancelled pretty fast, and idek how many issues mtmte was ‘guaranteed’ at this point, so I really commend jro & co for being able to construct such a fantastic story with a solid conclusion, while also setting up a bunch more plotlines for what would hopefully be future issues 

I will say. I'm super glad rewind ends up coming back, and also that things get a lot gayer soon, bc this would have been devastating to read in a whole different way if it was just a bad ole str8forward bury your gays situation 

but since it isn't, then I'm free to be extremely emotional about it, oof

I feel like I've articulate a lot of my thoughts already so ill end here and say: this slaps, cant wait to re-read more

[readbythestarlight]

c2e57

Sam Sam Sam Sam Sam...

Oh man I can’t wait for this

"Heroes of the Dynasty" I still can’t believe it tbh

Caleb instantly bringing Nott’s husband up because he is going to get Yeza back for her whatever it costs

Nott’s gonna get to see Yezaaaaaaa! Oh man is my heart ready?

They were running around with a liTERAL GOD IN THEIR KNAPSACK

Oh boy more orbs? Or are they orbs.

Oh man I am SO HERE for this lore!!

Was Molly some sort of weird attempt at this same thing??

Oh my godddddddd Caleb probably could have eventually used the orb to figure out dunamancy

Nott turning around and bragging about her wizard son and asking for some knowledge for him

"The empire we are from is full of very good people. Most, almost all. I have been scarred by some of the few who do not fit that category. And rather than killing the entire animal, I ask that you consider cutting out the cancer."

I’m so proud of my boyyyyy.

And Beau like "yeah what he said and on top of that maybe we can help you get justice not revenge."

Cad like "yeah what they said. You don’t wanna do that."

Oh jeeze Brightqueen getting all dark and angry

This war is gonna he awful and painful and bad for all sides

Oh damn she’s asking for their loyalty and help in finding the other beacon shiiiiiiiiit

Good answers, smart answers, my kids are using their heads for once.

He’s searching for a what??

I’m so glad they’re supporting Caleb’s decision instead of attacking him for making decisions for the group

Fjord seems less okay about it than some others but I kinda understand. I think he’s just tired of constantly feeling like he’s in over his head and everything’s out of control.

C: "For the first time in a very long time I feel... Hopeful."

J: "You look like you feel hopeful, Caleb." (while Caleb looks as miserable than usual)

"My goose is cooked."

"I think I’m going to have a hard time finding my father now. I don’t know if I’ll ever see my mother again, because of choices made in that room."

Oh ouch here it comes now.

Tension between the empire kids?

Oh Nott my girl. It’ll be okay. You know him, he loves you.

And I’ll fight him if he doesn’t.

I hope Beau isn’t sitting there making her usual assumptions about Caleb’s motives.

WHISPERSSSS

....I’m not sure I trust this Shadowhand man

What if he’s a spy. If not for the Empire then for the Assembly.

I wanna like him tho.

Oh my gosh Yeza must be so confused poor thing xD

"Guess who it iiiiiiis! :D"

"I don’t have a word limit now, buddy!"

TIME TO HAVE EMOTIONS

"You think that matters?"

"It’s still you, right? You’re alive? Then that’s the best news I’ve heard in a long time."

IM IN A PUDDLE OF EMOTIONS

"I will cut you. Don’t you hurt my friend." Jester bringing the MOOD tonight.

"It’s still you though, right? Then that’s all that matters."

I AM WEEPING.

SHE IS TRULY THE BRAVE. THE BRAVEST OF BRAVE.

"I think for us to be together, we’ll have to be apart again." I mean I know this but I am sad.

Doragna.

"Hi this is Caleb he’s our adopted wizard son now by the way."

Yeza’s nerding out over Cad’s moss or whatever I’m dying

THEY ARE THE CUTEST MARRIED COUPLE I LOVE THEM

Oh jeeze poor Yeza

Oh shit and they have the vial too!!

And the tripod

AHHH HE’S FREEEEEE!

He better be free it better not be a lie.

Whispersssss.

Their adorable excitement over the 8.8mil stretch goal being passed.

Travis on The Flask: "that is bigger than my whole wife!!"

Laura: *scruches up small to prove she could definitely hide behind the flask*

"Why would we want to go to this place we were explicitly warned not to go" asks the group that frequently does exactly that

Cad: "It’s weird and bland I’m into it."

"I use thaumaturgy to open all the windows."

If that’s not the last thing Jester does in this campaign I will be sad

C: "yeah we’re alright but your wiFE THO she’s amazing"

Yeza geeking out over how cool his wife is is just the highlight of my life

Matching tattoos omg

Poor Yeza xD

B: "How much do you care and how much are you using us, Caleb?"

I really feel like we should be past this level of "you're just using us" mistrust but maybe I’m just sensitive

Cad asking Caleb if this is his purpose or his destiny. I love when he asks things like that, or points out that they are where they are for a reason.

C: "Yes I was trained to be a terrible person. Yes I was a student of the Cerberus Assembly. Yes I murdered those most dear to me. Yes. And yes, I want to see specific people dead. And if that can line up with saving where you and I live, where Veth and Yeza live, where all our friends live, then it is all one."

He’s defensive about the time bit... but like he had to know that if that’s his purpose it would be pretty obvious to Beau.

"What was the chair?"

"You don’t wanna know about the—" and Matt cracks up I love him.

Oh no, Yeza being upset about the idea of Nott going against the Empire...

Way to present with another moral conundrum, Matt. I love it.

Someone please let Fjord deal with the fact that he’s CLEARLY constantly feeling in over his head and probably like he’s drowning again

Also Yeza honey don’t worry the little people, the innocent ones, are who Caleb is arguing to protect.

A crematorium kiln good lord Caudceus just when I think you couldn’t be any more pastel goth.

"Something unusual" TOO VAGUE

Three sacred sites... three again.

J: "Are you planning on burying a body there? Or crematorying a body there?"

Cad: "Well I figure whichever of you I like least.

...That was a joke."

"Why are you on the floor?" anD THEN HE JOINS HER ON THE FLOOR CURLED UP NEXT TO HER

IM CRYING

Yeza is exactly who Nott deserves and I’m in love with their love

Fjord in here with the valid concerns about how to decide who is good and who is bad and where the line is

C: "Fjord... I appreciate you."

F: "What?"

C: "Sometimes you have to get a little bit crazy."

F: "....What, you mean like, right now?"

C: "You said that to me. It was a callback, it was..."

You two make it work. That’s always been your thing. Make it work, boys. Make it work.

Jester: "porn is an accurate representation of love right?"

And then she’s embarrassed I’m crying baby giiiiiirl

Yasha checking on our boy after he almost died and everyone kinda forgot about it

"Ms. Yasha." I love him.

Oh and now I’m having Caduceus feelings oh no

Cad: "There’s something special with these people, and with you. With us. And I’m going to try to remind them that it’s important to honor that and not just... I think there’s a great version of all these people, and you."

Y: "I hope so."

Cad: "Hopefully I won’t get everyone else killed too." (SORRY EVERYONE ELSE KILLED *TOO*?! My baby boy Cad’s got some guilt over somebody dying who he feels he was responsible for?)

Y: "Hopefully they won’t get you killed either. Again."

Cad: "Thank you for taking care of these people with me."

Y: "Just paying forward for when one of them took care of me."

My heeeeart.

LEVEL UP!!

Wooooo +6 HP for Caleb! 57 baby he’ll only go down once per fight from now on.

Mass healing word yay!!

Empire Kids conversation?

Empire Kids conversation.

Caleb asking for her trust. "I need you to be my friend." MY HEEEAAARRRT.

Idk Beau I can see sometimes why he would doubt it. You do call him out and act like he’s just using you guys a lot.

I’m crying you guys

My empire kids

They’re so good

Beau is so good

Caleb is so good

I love them

"I care for you." and "I respect you greatly."

HUG!!!!

I’m crying look at far they’ve both come.

(By the way I think Fjord could use a hug too.)

[lysitheaioandeuropa]

Pass the happy!

hi binch!!!!!!! ily!!!!!!!! 

my puppy sandra!!! she is quite literally THE BEST thing that has ever happened to me! yes i rescued her from the shelter and it makes me really sad to think how long she would have stayed there bc she’s blind and when i went to pick her up they called her ugly ): she was only there for a day when i got her so it makes me happy to know that she didn’t have to wait long to find a happy home and i really hope i have given her one!! i hope she loves me as much as i love her!!!

i love my binches!!! i can’t tag u all but i love u and think of y’all all the time and i hit y’all up when i’m sad and y’all send me posts and messages occasionally or even daily some of you and its nice! i don’t have too many irl friends but i love my internet binches that have in turn become my irl friends ya know!!! even more so the ones that i have actually gotten to meeet!!! looking at u twee!!! and mia who i will hang out w soon! and jessica even tho shes not on here!!!

books!!!!! I AM A SLUT FOR BOOKS AND MIA HAS RUINED MY LIFE W HER RECS. like i wasnt too into YA books and was rly focused on literary classics and SOME YA but not enough, but she really got me into them a few years back w everything she posted lol. and i was an elitist lowkey like “who likes twilight and fifty shades and etc” (after having read them and making judgements of my own of course) but uhhhh… now i’m a slut for the teen section. I love TMI and TID and TDA and shadow hunters are my CHILDREN, and every other YA book i have read from that point on has really brought my heart so much joy like, i have been down in the dumps literally wanting to/formulating how to kill myself, crying nonstop for days and days at a time when.. i pick up a new series.. and suddenly my depression is cured. u know what, special shouts2 @steadyflame bc if it weren’t for your recs literally like over 5 years ago, i have no idea how i would have coped as recently as a few months ago. like its rly tiny but like im gonna cry bc u changed my life and opened my eyes to literary possibilities (even tho u ruined it too, and i have yet to still read raven cycle). anyway everyone, A COURT OF FROST AND STARLIGHT IS OUT TODAY! I PREORDERED IT BACK IN NOVEMBER AND IT IS SHIPPING TO ME AND BITCH I CANNOT WAIT TO STAY UP ALL NIGHT READING IT OH MY FUCKING GODDDDDDDD

cleaning, lol. ai hate how grueling it can be and it almost always is guaranteed to fuck my allergies up. BUT i feel so good when my space is just perfect and tidy and i cant take a deep breathe in and feel brand new

working out/eating clean. it doesnt really make me happy BUT it makes me feel better about myself like yes i am making good and healthy choices for me and my brain and my body and hopefully it benefits me in the much longer run, aside from just losing a few pounds