#goddddd. like i said there is nuance.

[mothranting]

i am soooooo incredibly tired of people turning characters that are men into women. sorry. like obviously there is nuance here and i have seen some GENUINE WONDERFUL transfem headcanons for canonically male characters. but i am sick and fucking tired of everything else. "he's like a woman to me" "he's a girlfailure" "he's such a lesbian" can you like fuck off.

[dyemelikeasunset]

I can't sleep so I'm venting. for the most part i love my d&m readers, but oml sometimes i get qpoc blues so bad 😭😭

It's just liiiike. ppl either don't talk about Mor or completely misinterpret her personality. Like I can always tell if my readers are black or not because nonblack readers no NOT see Mor's significance, or just miss the mark when they talk about her, or they misread her personality. Like I don't understand what's so hard to understand about a cute and thoughtful artist??

AND LIKE LMAO Dom's sexuality gets brought up all the time but no one talks about Mor being a lesbian and how rare that is to find in media 😭 white lesbians are always talking about "we need more open lesbians in media!! ppl shouldn't be afraid to use the word lesbian!! blah blah" and i'm like "here you go!!" and no one claps at all lmao. Like I get it, i know why it happens, i understand racial microaggressions, i know how fandom spaces treat Black women, I UNDERSTAND BUT I CAN STILL BE UPSET. I have the right to be upset about it!!! 💀💀 And I know fem lesbians get ignored all the time, invalidated all the time, but it just sucks to see it happen to my character. I just feel like her being lesbian doesn't clock a lot of people, and I get asked to do more thirst trap art of Mor and I do want to but i'm also trying to be careful about like. Idk reducing a dark skinned fem lesbian to being validated only thru being sexy? LMAO.... Mor should be able to be attractive and lovable without tons and tons of thirst trap art (and it's not like I don't do it at all!! I'm not trying to be overprotective or deny her sexiness but I guess it's considered not enough?? give me a break)

And mannnn I was so mad actually that several comments voiced thoughts that essentially said Mor didn't "help" or "take care" of Dom enough, and that when Dom was finally opening up to her it was "Morgan finally doing something" LIKE HELLO??? HELLO??? It's DOM'S flaw that she can't open up? And Morgan does a lot??? I know immature ppl do not appreciate more soft and domestic/feminine forms of care bc they're used to taking their mothers for granted lmao but wooow I was taken aback. First of all, like, I try to show that Mor is the main cook, works just as much as Dom (let's go double income household), is always checking in on Dom's comfort as she navigates being queer, and is overall a very considerate girlfriend. AND SECOND OF ALL LMAO like even if she didn't do all that she doesn't need to have relationship currency to have a doting girlfriend, like the fucking trope of black women needing to suffer for love is so terrible I'VE HAD ENOUGH AND i"M NOT EVEN BLACK. Like there is NOTHING WRONG with their typical dynamic and I'm sick of people acting like there is. SOMEONE SAID DOM WAS LIKE A COMFORT PILLOW W NO AGENCY AND i"M LIKE WTFDYM???? She has TONS of agency and her sense of agency says she wants to LOVE AND DOTE ON HER PARTNER LIKE LMAO. WHAT?? Why is that hard to understand??? Is it because I made one (1) joke bout Mor being a pillow princess and the anti-princess squad are grinding their teeth in the bushes seething over it? Ppl are so twisted sometimes oh my goddddd. Like as an ace who was very confused navigating the lesbian dating scene as a teen and young adult I WISH i had met a pillow princess. Sometimes ppl don't realize that stone dynamics are very safe for aces!! Dom literally says she prefers it!! It's not Mor being selfish like lord please GOD ALLAH I'M TIRED I'M SO TIRED

and like on the topic of Domi overall she is more "popular" but sometimes I feel like people don't even really take the time to appreciate the significance about her either. She's not just a funny thirst trap 😭 and I feel like ppl dont acknowledge that she's asian half the time. I have so many white aces who only zone in on that aspect of her and it's like YEAH I GET IT, I'm ace and we don't have a lot of nuanced rep but she's also got more layers than that too. Tons of people related to her in the chapters where she talks about her childhood abuse yet very few people really, like, talked about the type of generational trauma that is very deeply embedded in her different cultures, no one saw that and oooof idk idk it felt inivisible. It's sometimes harder to talk about the racist microaggressions that Domi experiences thru my readers bc ppl will argue "well most webtoon leads are asian" but not many of them are asian in a way that like. talk about it. I'm born in the US so my experiences with being othered as an asian is just gonna be different and it's gonna affect my art and writing but it feels so unappreciated. I've had some queer asians relate to her but i can count them on my hand 💀 (I actually think it's two LMAO i"M SO SAD)

And going back to Dom and the comfort pillow w no agency comment lmao. This is another thing that rubs me the wrong way is once again, people are ignorant to the ways asians get pigeon-holed to media roles that have us being depicted as incapable. Maybe I want Dom to be more of a protector archetype bc I'm tired of meek Asian women in media? 🤔 Maybe I want Dom to be a prince-like character because asians get emasculated a lot?? 🤔🤔 Maybe I want Domi to maintain her prince persona instead of being "'physically' androgynous/masculine but really soft and girly on the inside uwuwu please treat me like a 'real' girl" because even in east asian media we won't allow women to exhibit strength and dependability??? 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔 Like why is a tough girl empowering but once we have a gentle and doting personality in a romance it's considered cliche and the flaw of her partner for being "too weak." MAYBE THEIR PRINCE/PRINCESS DYNAMIC COMPLIMENT EACH OTHER??? HAVE YOU CONSIDERED? I WROTE THEM THAT WAY FOR A REASON??

Good lord this turned into an essay but I have so many things on my mind always

if you read this all. Thanks. I mainly needed to scream into a towel and put this down somewhere bc I complain about these issues to my discord and they understand/validate me all the time, but I wanna give them a break 😭 I also lowkey wanna document my various feelings as I work through Dom & Mor so I can remember and also grow from it

[hopeshoodie]

Your character analysis of the characters in CMM has inspired me to possibly write a Priya route for it! I’m saying possibly as I have so many ideas currently, but when you mentioned her characterisation, it definitely clicked. I played part of her route, and something felt off, so I’m glad you spotted that. I’m obsessed with fix it fics, so we’ll see.

Oh my goddddd Iris please do it. Give me the angsty Priya route we deserve. I want her to struggle to hide her attraction to MC, to linger in a 'friendly hello hug' a bit too long, to be jealous if MC and Marisol are together (or better yet if they aren't but reminisce about how they dated in the villa). I want them to kiss and build an attraction over the course of the party, not in the first twenty minutes. I want Priya to talk about the aftermath of the villa and experimenting with women and not really liking it, then struggling to figure out if she actually is bi or if it was just MC. For her to be unsure, uncomfortable, but excited.

Literally cmm was an awesome opportunity to tell a nuanced story and really delve into Priya's character but FB said 'no thanks here's more Bobby' instead.

[thelioninmybed]

vardasvapors replied to your post “@vardasvapors made a good post about how, uh, filtering our...”

I don't think I ever completely consciously thought of Mae's whole disastrous 'all this has to somehow turn out to be worth it in the end' thing as being a twisted but sincere manifestation of Hope and goddddd that is so good/terrible a concept :\ :(

And it WAS said that the nirnaeth had a chance of working out if it hadn't gotten sabotaged, wasn't it? I mean, this gets all into how fate and doom and stuff actually works but whatever

My personal read has always been more the belief that if he doesn’t fulfil the oath, what was the point of any of it...including....being alive...? Like, the moment it’s arguably complete, he kills himself and I've always kinda assumed that, even if the silmaril hadn’t burnt, he would've have done it anyway, the guy was done and the judgement was just one final fuck you. But the Hope thing occurred to me as I was writing that post and really fucked me up so better share it with the world!

Yeah, it was definitely said that (Doom aside) they could have laid waste to Morgoth’s armies if things had gone as planned, though I’m not sure what they would have done about Morgoth himself? Did I see somewhere they were gonna wall him up in Angband forever? Or did they figure, given how badly Fingolfin’s duel fucked him up (I’m assuming Thorondor gave a play-by-play), that Morgoth was tied to his physical form enough by then that beating the shit out of him in battle would actually be effective? 

maedhrosrussandol replied to your post “@vardasvapors made a good post about how, uh, filtering our...”

He’s got some amazingly good traits, as you enumerated, that serve as a counterpoint to his unerring ability to make seriously bad decisions. There’s a dichotomy of diplomatic actions–well thought out, nuanced and successful–and then some spur of the moment decisions that leave you screaming “Maedhros NO!” But I love him. A lot. Despite everything and because of everything he’s my favorite Silm character.

I’m sorry but that meta exhausted my ability to say worthwhile and coherent things.

Good choices:

Giving up crown

er

probably there were others right?

...taste in boyfriends?