#goddamnit delmin

[deliriumsminion]

That update that we’ve all dreaded.

Hi guys.

It’s been a while.

I don’t even know who’s still following me or looking out for my posts anymore.

All the time I’ve been away, I’ve just been quietly working very slowly on writing whenever I can.

Life hasn’t been fair. 

And it chose to be the most unfair in the past week.

Beyond the regular fare of real-life grievances, I’d been hit with a virus on the system that I worked on all my content on. That resulted in thousands of files being locked up, infected, and inaccessible. And those files included all my documents for all my writings - the ones that I’ve already posted, the ones that I’ve been slowly working on, and even the drafts that I’d roughly planned. Even the folder with all the audio clips and video clips that I’d created that are on this blog are also infected and gone. 

I don’t know what I’ll do. I’ve been looking around online for solutions but as of now there hasn’t been any solutions offered for my case. A proper solution might not even pop up for a long while, since apparently the first versions/instances of this particular virus popped up as far as 2-3 years ago and there hasn’t been a single solution for those earlier version either. 

So as far as getting my files back, that’s a long shot away.

That leaves me without my existing work, the work I’ve been slowly working on for a long while, and all the drafts and plans I’ve accumulated in this long while.

This means there will be nothing from me with regards to any fics for a very, very long time. Rebuilding and re-starting afresh will take time and energy from me that I can spare very little of right now. Even just looking at what I’d already posted for the ongoing fics and my paper drafts in real life can only give me a small portion of what I’d already planned out in detail in those files. Whatever I come up with from hereon will be different, either slightly or drastically, from what I’d already planned. 

And it will take time. 

I’m so sorry to come back like this. I really am. I wanted to come back with new chapters of Under the Wire and Written Secrets, to share everything that I’ve felt while writing these chapters. I really did. But it’s frustrating now because it’s all gone and I don’t know what to do or how to find time to restart. I’m so, so sorry.

But I’ll probably re-build, slowly. Maybe if everyone’s still around and willing to listen years down the road when I finally work my way back up to where I was before (and probably more), I’ll come back stronger than ever with new stuff for you guys. Perhaps, even, when I come back nobody will really care and I’d already have lost any semblance of relevance I might have had before - I don’t know. It’s been a very difficult ride. I don’t blame anyone for getting impatient at me. But I’ll still try. 

And until then, I’ll be quietly working in the shadows again.

- Delmin.

[deliriumsminion]

i am so stressed out rn i want to cry

[deliriumsminion]

bad jokes

we’re the trash to delirious’s raccoon 

[deliriumsminion]

will delmin ever finish writing under the wire/written secrets?

will delmin finally not be busy?

and will delmin ever be able to have a proper vacation?

[deliriumsminion]

delirious and ohm are playing friday the 13th at 5am/6am and ohm’s been streaming since almost 4 hours before that.

i’m fully prepared for late night shenanigans 

[deliriumsminion]

by the way guys ohm is streaming again right now and I believe delirious and bryce are playing with him so :o

[deliriumsminion]

i’m going to post a highlight from ohm’s stream later on. I wanted to post it but tumblr apparently has a limitation on how much video I can upload in a day.

[deliriumsminion]

I... wrote Chapter 3 of Under the Wire halfway, and then I decided the story was going in a very weird and unnatural direction. And suddenly I’m thinking about deleting all the progress up till now for Chapter 3...

[deliriumsminion]

?? what is this?? a new chapter?? oh wow delmin you took like a year?? thanks real life!

[deliriumsminion]

15 minute wait for my appointment to start

So I’m going to quickly write some stuff about what I think of Delirious, because there will never be enough speculation about him. I don’t think I will ever know him fully, since I don’t know of how he’s like outside of his videos and outside of Twitter and his friend’s streams. This is just my speculation based on what he’s said and done and what others have said about him. 

Delirious is the kind of guy you’d want as your best friend for the rest of your life. Sure, he’s kind of odd in some ways. He has a rather simple way of seeing things. He doesn’t know about a lot of things. Sometimes, you wonder if he even thinks properly like everybody else does. But for whatever he lacks in intellect, for whatever he lacks in abilities, he makes up for in heart. 

He's not a pure introvert nor a pure extrovert. He has no problems making friends if he tries, and he has no problems retaining friends. He isn't too awkward around new people he has to play with, and in fact, he takes them in just fine. The people around him cluster around him because of how genuine he is in handling his friendships. He listens when you need a listening ear, he advises and relates when you need someone to sympathize and care. Oddly enough, the man that yells "fuck you" and "this is bullshit" a whole lot in his videos is also the same man that can privately tell you he understands what you're going through and how he'd deal with it. 

At the same time, he's reserved. If there's anything that I've learnt this whole time from him not wanting to do a face reveal, it's that he wants his space. He likes his privacy, and he likes his own personal space. He wants to be a normal person that can go about his daily life without being recognized. He wants to live, love and laugh just as everybody else does. 

He doesn't talk publicly about things he doesn't know about, and he doesn't act like he's better than anybody. Jokingly, maybe, but privately, I think he's rather humble. If he gives you a gift, no matter the price, it's because he thinks you'll like it, and not because he thinks you'll pay him back or because it makes him a 'good person'. He's just happy to know you're happy. He doesn't feel obligated to give you a gift just because it's a special day. He's giving to you for that day because he knows it'll make your day special. 

It's not easy to get on his nasty side, at least, that's what I think. Even if he gets angry at you, truly angry, he'll let things slide; that is, unless you've really mistreated him or his friends gravely. He'll shut you out if you frustrate him enough with ignorance and annoyance and general nastiness, just as most other people would. He's incredibly human that way. 

Some may say he's insecure. Maybe he is. But who isn't? We all have some insecurities, and he's entitled to some insecurities of his own as well. He's human. He's a regular guy. And that's what he wants to stay as. But if there's anything that has made him less regular and more extraordinary, it's that he's that guy that will treasure your friendship genuinely. 

I don't know Delirious. I don't even think I will ever know him. I don't think my assessment of him will ever be complete or accurate. There is only that much we can know from a content creator's videos and tweets and whatever he has said on streams. Maybe if I knew him my opinion would change. But what I know is that Delirious is fairly popular as a person and amongst his friends for a reason. There's a reason why his friends keep coming back to him (other than to make videos together). There's a reason why people like Cartoonz stayed a close friend of his for nearly 20 years now and still find him a person worth keeping around. 

Perhaps this is the reason. We probably will never know.

[deliriumsminion]

*coughs*

i’m half here i swear it’s just that my work piled up so much i pretty much write one sentence or half a sentence or less every day  and while that happens my ideas keep growing faster than i can write

[deliriumsminion]

what am i doing on tumblr i have about 50 deadlines to meet

[deliriumsminion]

fun fact: that really did take about 4 months to finish. and i’m only going to get busier from now on until december D:

[deliriumsminion]

Finally, an update

Yay!

First off, keeping off tumblr did get my spirits up a bit. I think it’s still best that I do take time off tumblr every now and then just so whatever negativity there is doesn’t get to me, but off to the updates:

I’m trying to write with whatever time I have. Because of some change in arrangements, I’m actually freakishly busier this year than the last (something I don’t like!) and so I have much less time to write (something I DO like!) and that frustrates me quite a bit. Nevertheless, I’m trying to write whenever I have the time. Which means...

The next chapter of Under the Wire is (very) slowly moving towards completion, and

The plans for the next chapter of Written Secrets are in the works.

However, things are still really slow, and I can only confidently confirm that I have the most time during December to write, so I’m still really sorry for the looooooong wait.

I’ll probably try to post up audio/video clips every now and then when I find a gem. Again, I don’t have much extra time every day anymore, so it’s not always.

Finally, thanks everybody for still supporting me!

...

Delirious is sick again?! Is it me or is everyone getting a deja vu moment?

[deliriumsminion]

brb reconsidering the entire existence of this blog

[deliriumsminion]

I was so tired last night I think I might have hallucinated delirious saying some stuff. (I'm not sure if I actually heard it and was recalling it, though.)