#god. i just don’t wanna exhibit symptoms and ruin this ha ha fuck
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me developing actual real feelings for someone for the first time in like a year And those feelings being reciprocated (i think???) vs me being terrified of getting into a relationship again
#like objectively i think im doing okay and i’ve like. noticed the difference in the way im approaching this shit but. jesus fucking christ#but they’re. nice and pretty#like last time i was in a relationship it was shithouse but that time wasn’t really my fault lmfao#like that one just. shouldn’t have happened and just kinda did by accident#but im not making tht mistake again i think#idk im worried i am somehow. like tricking myself into liking them bc they like me and i want to like them#but. i do like them#they’re not my usual type though. which is always worrying#but i do think they’re like. fucking gorgeous#and they’re smart nd funny nd listen to my dumb music recommendations. so yeah i think i do genuinely like them#idkkkkk man how do u knooooooooooow#last time i knew i KNEW yknow and idk that was maybe my dumbass mental eelness brain#but god that made it so much easier didnt it.#but whatever sacrifices i guess. at least im a better person now. i think. i hope#god. i just don’t wanna exhibit symptoms and ruin this ha ha fuck
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