#god the first pic. julian photos of all time

[sophaeros]

julian casablancas for hero magazine, issue 31, 2024 (x)

[surfacolyte]

Chronicles of a Modern Day Sorceress, part 2

2.6.2018

Dear Diary,

I'm going to hex that bitch so bad that she won't get laid for a century! Would that I could that is but I'm getting ahead of myself. You'll know when we get to her...

After work I started working on the case. On a closer inspection I was certain that the letter was the handiwork of Julian Spalding. An amateur photographer, professional snoop, and I don't mean it in the private detective sense. He's visited Stella's Tap from time to time and even put his slimy fingers on my shoulder a couple of times but that scumbag isn't getting any sugar from me. I've got to hand it to him, he'd be a very good paparazzi with his skills but I digress.

Me and Vinsanto went to see that bastard in his apartment. Well, more like we went to see if he was home. The less he was there, the more we could explore and find the pictures. We got to the apartment, thanks to a courier, and in it actual apartment by my skill. Even though Spalding is a petty thief and a blackmailer, it doesn't mean I don't know my way with the lock pics. I left Vinsanto to keep a lookout in a tree outside. I mean, how the heck would I explain to a courier that I have a raven familiar, sorry, a pet crow, as people see him. Not very discreet.

Anyway, the moment I stepped into the apartment I had the creepiest odd sensations. It was quiet, way too quiet. Also the smell of blood creeping up on me didn't make me feel any better. However, there was no reason for me to creep around in those rooms for Spalding wasn't there. Not at least in any capability of spotting things. He was just sitting there, holding a gun. He had been killed with something like Wolverine claws, hit through the chair to his back. He had been ready to shoot anyone who entered the apartment but whoever or whatever killed him had gotten to him first. That's not a natural murder, there's something magical behind it, I'm sure. I had to fight the urge to barf, it was not a pretty sight. I mean, the man was the biggest motherfucker but I wouldn't have wished for his death. I didn't find the photos either, just a bunch of started letters. Apparently the poor wanker had planned to blackmail some other people as well. What I did find was some weird USB stick that was hidden in a secret compartment of Spalding's desk. I took it with me but then I saw the mirror on the wall distorting the picture..... and after that the gangsters entered the apartment. Hiding in the closet didn't exactly work, neither did my explanations on how I had just wondered there. Giving one of the gangsters the evil eye didn't work and I was tied down and thrown on Spalding's bed, eyes covered and my mouth filled with I don't even want to know what sort of a rag. The fuckers were nice enough not to shoot me (thank goodness) and dumb enough not to find my bag. They had questioned me on where ”it” was but I wasn't going to tell them that I most likely had ”it” in my bag. Thank goodness they believed me.

I thought my day was horrible enough as it was but noooooooooooooooooooooooo. I laid there for quite a while, half fearing, half hoping that the police would arrive. As if I didn’t try to break free from my restraints but little miss Tipton isn’t the buffest bartender around. Then I hear steps, high heels, so obviously not a cop. Then the smell of blood was replaced with the scent of lavender and there's only one person in this world or at least in the area of Ukrainian Village that can masterfully combine the scent of lavender and being a total bitch. Amethyst motherfucking Jeanes. I fucking hate her guts, have hated ever since I can remember. She's from a rich family, a proper showoff, and a bully par excellence. Anyway, this blond witch (hahaha, pun doubly intended) proceeds to tickle me, take embarrassing photos, wrapping me up in a carpet (I still have no fucking idea where she got it), and throwing me into a van she had rented or gotten from her dad, I don't know, I wasn't in the mood for polite chit chat. Then this fucker drives the van ways away, has SURPRISINGLY the common courtesy to unroll me from that carpet but leaves me tied, IN THE FUCKING VAN, in nobody knows where. Thank goodness Vinsanto, bless that bird, had followed us, and he managed to get in and free me from my ties.

I got a fucking taxi there, without any money, because my bag was at Spalding's still. Thank fucking god I can do some spells to talk myself into having a free ride. Of course the police was already there but thank goodness I managed to talk myself inside the house with the normal ”I live here” shtick. I get to the flat, thank goodness no policemen there but, what do you know, Amethyst, that sly fuck, was already there. So now I had two reasons to get my bag: not to be on the suspect list of the police and not to let Amethyst have the stick. I'm pretty sure she was there after that because she didn't find the photos. Oh? Did I not tell you? Richardson had hired BOTH me and Amethyst! The fucker.... Oh well, long story short, she pulled a gun on me, gave me the evil eye, and I had to just stand there in makeshift euphoria with my bad on my shoulder. Vinsanto, that darling raven, came and started pecking Amethyst (serves that mobster style carpet kidnapper right) and I managed to escape. I even told the police that I was scared and that there was an armed lady in the building. HAH! Vinsanto had flown out of the window and I snuck to my Vespa and drove off!

All in all a pretty horrible day but hey, now I've got a USB stick.... which gives me weird vibes. I'm pretty sure there's something magical about it. However, I need a drink now. I'm gonna go and call Ilene for tonight I need my best friend to get plastered with me.

- Erica

[vertigoambrosia]

so apparently bobby gunns does some commentary or something on the german version cause tas tweeted a ‘whatever he says is not wxw’s views!!!’ tweet

but tough luck i’m not smart enough for german so there’ll be none of that in my shotgun blabbling

so today i guess we’re gonna see the beginning of the shotgun tournament, since the preview pic is of the 4 people who actually might get a title shot

tbh it’s kinda weird that those are first round matches - i mean, we all know juvenile x isn’t gonna have a title match at a big event...

i still think lucky and ivan will be the finals but i’m bad at predicting things so watch they’ll both lose today

the placement of dragan in the opening is really great btw

oh it’s these lil shits

god it was less than a month ago they were such nice boys

*francis voice* these vintage belts

well HELLO pete

committed to never wearing a shirt again

der cool kids

*ivan voice* i mean we’ve done some shit but we didn’t literally rob people

i bet ivan has always wanted to beat up a cool kid

oh boy dragan intervention time? can i not

‘i am julian pace. i relate to lightning mcqueen but i am not a car’

god lucky is ADORABLE

lmao tarkan so wants lucky to look serious and fearsome here and he just...can’t

bless our boy

have i ever mentioned that i’m an immature dumb american who giggles whenever i hear ‘fahrt’ in german words?

abfahrt

reminds me of a harvey birdman joke i won’t bother trying to type; maybe i’ll find it on youtube

AWWW ivan and pete are here for lucky too!

tarkan is in no mood for the finger thing

*lucky kid voice* if u r a car can i drive u?????

lucky totally got distracted by julian moving Very Fast

OMG HE IS PRETENDING TO DRIVE LUCKY THAT IS SO DUMB BUT ALSO AMAZING

oh it looks like ivan and pete didn’t stay at ringside...maybe they should to keep an eye on tarkan?

loll that chp and the sell

i mean it looks p stiff but he’s selling it like lucky’s walter

man i want both these guys to move on :(

wait i didnt exactly see what happened with the ring bell - tarkan slid it into the ring and the ref pushed it out and then??

i hope mella and lufisto become friends

see they’re bonding!

oh this is gonna be fun!!!

i love that shotgun shows wrestlers being silly with twitter

i mean, nothing’s quite like walter’s ‘omg i wish i could block every picture of bad bones with the tag title’ and tim warning us to stay away from the twitter

but lucky being gleeful over getting twitter attention and lufisto laughing at responses to her beating kelly are great too

oh ivan you’re my favorite weird looking rodent snake boy

(we should note that ivan did win the shotgun title clean - david starr did get distracted by bones, but flip was the one who went for the rollup and failed before ivan won)

sorry i didn’t pay attention to marius’ promo imagine i said something pithy about naruto or something

hayyy peeeeete

it must be really hard to be a weird looking dude with a really really ridiculously good looking best friend

or, alternatively i guess, it must own to date up

ivan’s such a weird longboy but it’s somehow like....sexually fascinating?

looks like a pervert, but a pervert you might fuck

...is alan saying ‘nip-up’? because...he shouldn’t

yes, he’s definitely saying nip up and i don’t know why

shoutouts to the rise signs, esp the one with the hearts

also shoutouts to @antifunpolice for the photo of pete and ivan smooching dragan because i’m pretty sure it could be photoshopped so it’s pete and ivan kissing

hell if i printed it out i could just fold it like one of those mad magazine inserts

ugh these lil shitbirds

the distraction didn’t really come across well on video though

BOOO DON’T BEAT UP MY BOYS

lol these boys are gonna die in five minutes once monster consulting get in the ring with them

ivan i’m sorry i jinxed it by saying you and lucky would make the finals

i think i remember hiding in the laundry room once in college when i was very sad so i relate to dragan’s choice of hiding place

seb is a good friend who says stupid things

i love him but like this is mr. ‘make a pros and cons list about your girlfriend’

just listen, sebastian...don’t speak

so the big wxw heels right now are young punks and whiny middle aged men

awww i can’t understand what they’re chanting

yeah i have that same shirt andy it’s not actually that special

UM I AM VERY LITERATE I READ SUBTITLES

loll andy pls i’m sure you ‘let’ ilja murder his way to the top

WOAH andy going a lil far there

*andy voice* i bet he hasn’t even named his penis!

boo these bad men!

and whoever keeps chanting for andy!

really everyone who chants for andy should be punished

idk have them take a walter chop or something

no don’t chant for aj

ohh yeah you fuckers al run from walter

don’t be a dick walter

pls

a good boy

totally hype for this match and this teamup!

[leahwithanidea]

3 Dec 2018 - YINZ IN STILLER COUNTRY

OH BOY this week was the weirdest week of my life to date. Every day was an actual struggle to get through, but every day, God gave me something little that made it all worth it.

Tuesday began with a trip to the Ohio Valley Hospital at 10 in the morning. No need to fear, it was all planned. Sister Atkinson had a surgery that we scheduled for Tuesday. All went swimmingly! The surgery was successful and we were all home from the hospital by 2pm! It was my first time driving someone to and from a hospital and lemme tell you, I felt like quite the grown up LOL. Sister Hobson and I spent the time waiting at the hospital studying the scriptures. Sister Atkinson spent the rest of the day recovering, so we all stayed home with her and did some missionary work and planning from our apartment!

On Wednesday we had interviews with the Mission President, President Bednar. He was lowkey a lil sick and I felt bad for making him talk, so my interview was like 5 minutes long LOL. He did tell me a little of what the end of this month will look like for me, though, so I will share a bit. As many of you know, I am a two-transfer missionary, meaning I was only called to serve a mission for about 3 months, which means technically I will be ending my Mission come the first week of January. BUT, since I have been doing stellar and really really want to serve a mission for the full 18 months, I will most likely be called yo serve the remaining 15 months! How this works is that I will be receiving a new call sometime during the second to last or last week of December telling me where I will be serving the remaining 15 months. It could be here in Pittsburgh or somewhere totally different. Once I know where I'm going, I will be shipped off to the missionary training center (MTC) in Utah (most likely the one in Utah) and staying there for a few weeks before heading to my new mission area. Stay tuned for where I will be going! For now, I am living in the present and working diligently as if I will live and serve here in Pittsburgh for the rest of my life. No use looking too far into the future. In the wise words of Edna Mode, "don't look back darling, it distracts from the now."

On Friday, Sister Hobson and I spent the day without Sister Atkinson (who had to travel to Altoona for a Mission Leadership Council). We took on the Green Tree area all by ourselves yeehaw! We had met a cute little Indian lady a few days before and taught her about the Book of Mormon and she said we could come back that Friday so Sister Hobson and I did. She didn't know too much about Heavenly Father or Jesus Christ and it was also a bit of a struggle understanding her and having her understand us even though she spoke English, so that Friday morning, I prayed for Heavenly Father to grant me the gift of tongues so I could effectively communicate with this lady. We believe in gifts of the Spirit, different gifts given to us through the Holy Ghost to help others. We believe that people can be born with certain gifts and also that people can pray for certain gifts and be given them. So I prayed for the gift of tongues that day and Heavenly Father provided. The whole time we talked with this lady and taught her about God and Christ, I understood exactly what she was trying to say, even though she kept forgetting words and had a hard time putting thoughts together. I was able to answer her questions and have her understand what I was saying. Truly a miracle. God wants to help us in our righteous endeavors. This also goes to show that even if you are speaking your native language on your mission, you still might need the gift of tongues. 

Saturday began the month of December which also began Light the World! Light the World is the Church's Christmas initiative, which aims to help people of all faiths and all backgrounds come together in service! As we serve as Christ served, we come closer to Him and get to know Him better. So on Saturday, the congregation here in Green Tree did a service project where we made tie blankets for the homeless. It was so fun to get to know the members of the Church here and serve alongside them. We have quite the crew here: members from China, Kenya, Hawaii, the Philippines, the whole works. Oh I just love people. Also, lighttheworld.org has a bunch of cool (and really easy) service ideas you can participate in this month!!

Yesterday, we taught a couple up in Coraopolis about the Book of Mormon, and they are so so awesome! JuliAn and Natasha are young and so ready to learn about and live the gospel of Jesus Christ! As a missionary, it is so refreshing to interact with and teach those who actually have a desire to learn, come closer to Christ, and who actually appreciate and love what we do as missionaries. I'm gonna be honest, being a missionary is tough because you face a whole lotta rejection every single day, so when someone actually accepts you and Christ's message that you're sharing, it's the best thing ever. After we met with him and Natasha, he sent us such an uplifting text that literally MADE our whole weird week worth it. The text is pictures below. Brought tears to my eyes.

God is so good. I love love love helping others come to know that.  

I love you all from the tenderest parts of my heart, Sister Leah Gaush Pittsburgh, PA  Flicks from the weird week:

1. Foot picture from the hospital while waiting for Sister Atkinson to get out of her procedure 

2. This is such a bad pic but I'm sending it anyway. These are all the missionaries in my area and the surrounding areas of Pittsburgh, including the mission President and his wife

5. Uplifting text. Best thing ever. 

6. Our attempts at a Christmas card photo. Our Samsung phone was propped on my bag on another picnic table and our fingers were freezing off. 

7. Sister Atkinson slipped in mud. Oops.

8 and onward. There was also a playground we went to today as part of our little Christmas photo shoot.

[quack-and-yellow]

First of Many - Julian Brandt

Part 2 of 4 | Chapter list

—

Julian had this thought going on in his head for days: He is in love with his best friend. But it wasn’t always the case. When he first met Laura through a former Wolfsburg teammate, he had always thought she was a stuck up just because she was highly rated in the Regionalliga, the women's third-tier league. She used to joke with the other boys, but with him, she would clam up. She would avoid him whenever possible.

One time, during a house party, they had a keepy uppy challenge. As forwards, they became opponents and had to go head to head. He won the challenge and, even though it was just a silly party game, he approached her, shook her hand and told her she did great. The others teased them, and he will never forget the look on her face. Laura was shocked and speechless, but Julian felt her finally warming up to him. Later on, she confessed about being intimidated around him because he plays for Bayer Leverkusen. The two of them grew closer and started hanging out, not only because they live near each other but also because their friends started moving out of the region one by one.

Now it’s just the two of them. Still the two of them. What Julian felt when he held Laura at her most vulnerable was nothing like holding another friend – he was sure of it. He wanted to protect her. He wanted to take away her pain. He wanted to hold her until she’s happy again. He wanted to be her happiness. He wanted to be hers.

Julian looked up as the door to the doctor’s office opened and his best friend walked out. His heartbeat quickened. He clenched and unclenched his fists, waiting for Laura to notice him. Finally, she did, and Julian loved the way her whole face lit up in surprise at the sight of him.

“What are you doing here?” Laura asked as she approached him.

Julian stood up and rushed to her side to assist her.

“I’m okay, I’m okay,” she said, flustered. “I don’t have a cast now, see?” She raised her right leg.

“But why do you still use that?” Julian gestured at the cane.

“I’m still scared, I guess. I don’t want to put any pressure on my ankle and feel that kind of pain again,” she said with a nervous laugh.

“You won’t,” he said, prying her fingers from the handle.

“Julian!” she gasped, panicking.

“Trust me.” He looked into her eyes until he felt her grip on the handle loosen. He replaced it with his hand, intertwining his fingers with hers. His other hand slowly took the cane away. Hesitation filled Laura’s eyes as she held onto his hand tightly. He encouraged her with a nod. She gingerly lowered her right foot, and he felt her grip loosen again as she stood on both feet. Laura’s eyes widened at him when no pain followed.

“See?” Julian said with a smile.

They were still staring into each other’s eyes. Still holding each other’s hands. Still grinning like idiots.

Her hand is warm and a little rough. Where did she get these blisters? And are those specks of green on her eyes? I thought they were pure hazel. Julian’s thoughts went tumbling one after the other.

He couldn’t move. Part of him wanted to stay in that moment. Part of him wanted to let go because it’s the first time they held hands and he already wanted to hug her. Kiss her. It had that effect. And it scared him that he wouldn’t be able to hold back.

Laura was the first to let go. “I-I should text my mom to pick me up,” she said. Julian noticed her cheeks turn pink.

“I can drive you home,” he said. “If you want.” He felt his own cheeks heating up.

She nodded with a small smile. Julian watched her take careful steps and for a moment he wanted to hold her hand again to keep her steady. That, and because he suddenly found himself missing the feeling of her skin against his.

***

Julian watched her from the corner of his eye. Laura wore a serene smile on her face as she hummed to the song on the radio, her fingers drumming on her lap. He couldn’t help but smile too. He missed her. A lot. They didn’t get to hang out since her injury a month ago. It just felt right having her near again. Having her by his side. 

“You’re smiling,” Laura said, resting her chin on her hand as if studying him.

Julian bit his lip to suppress an even bigger smile.

“I like seeing you happy,” she said casually. “It suits you.”

He swallowed and stole a quick glance at her. “I- I have something for you.” He reached behind her seat and pulled out a teal colored box tied with a gold ribbon.

Laura looked puzzled as she untied the ribbon and lifted the lid. Her mouth dropped open. It was a dozen franzbrötchen, each piece with a small flag stuck in it. The flags had short, handwritten messages from her closest friends at her club. She gasped when she also found messages from Karim Bellarabi and Hakan Çalhanoğlu, her Leverkusen favorites.

“Now you’re the one smiling,” Julian said with a smirk.

“I’m crying!” she retorted, wiping her tears, and Julian burst out laughing.

Laura quickly bit into one and gushed, “Oh god, I missed this.” She offered it to Julian who shook his head.

“It’s all yours,” he said with a tender smile.

Suddenly she stopped chewing. “Oh shit! I forgot! Pull over!“

“What? Why?” Julian asked, startled.

“I forgot to take a pic of this first!” she whined, gesturing at the box. “Please, please, I want to eat more so I need to take a pic now.”

Julian rolled his eyes but did as he was told. He took out his phone and pointed it at her. Laura quickly ran her fingers through her thick dark brown hair, and he found himself mesmerized as he watched her movement on the screen. He swallowed hard again. Something as normal as smoothing hair becomes an instant turn on – what the hell is wrong with him?

“Is this okay?” Laura flashed a hopeful smile as she held the box open in front of her.

“Uh, wait.” Julian brushed a few crumbs from the corners of her mouth using his thumb. He did it slowly, carefully, and her whole body tensed up. When he pointed the camera at her again, he noticed her whole face has turned red.

Laura consciously licked her lips and smiled, although she looked uneasy. Julian felt his hands starting to tremble so he quickly snapped a photo and handed the phone to her.

“Thanks,” she mumbled.

They drove through the neighborhood in silence. Laura sent the photo to her phone and was now editing it.

“I like seeing you happy too,” Julian said out of the blue.

Laura’s head snapped up and she looked over at him. He was looking straight ahead, a small smile creeping up his lips.

On the way home after dropping off Laura, Julian checked her post on Instagram. The caption read, Thank you for making me happy and, although he was not tagged, he knew whom she meant. He smiled as he stared at the photo for a moment, and then he searched for the same photo in his gallery and made it his lock screen background.

***

“You know, it’s not just skipping trainings because of her,” Bernd Leno said as he kicked a ball at Julian’s direction and Julian stopped it with his side heel before kicking it into the bag. They were part of the losing team during a practice game and, as a consequence, had to clean up after training.

“Can you keep your voice down?” Julian hissed. He glanced around to see if any of their teammates could hear them. Baumi, Benny, Leon and Kampl, who were also part of the losing team, were already walking out of the grounds and carrying the rest of the equipment with them.

“It says a lot about your commitment to the team,” Bernd continued in the same tone. “And your career.”

“Geez, I know that, what makes you think I don’t know that?” Julian said, throwing his hands in the air. “And it’s just one training, okay? And it’s the last time I’ll do that so can you please stop judging me? As a friend?”

Bernd shrugged as he kicked another ball at his friend. “It must be serious, your feelings. I’ve never seen you like this before.”

Julian scratched his head, looking flustered. “I… I’ve never felt this way about anyone before.”

“Not even with that girl you dated? What’s her name?”

Julian felt his stomach sink just remembering the name. He knew he messed up and Julia did not deserve it. Who knew he could be such an asshole? All because he was afraid to admit his true feelings to his best friend!

Bernd dribbled a ball on his hand. “You should tell Laura the truth.”

“If she doesn’t feel the same way – and I know she doesn’t,” Julian said, with emphasis on the last part, “that’s three years of friendship down the drain.”

“Three years? Okay.” The goalkeeper threw the ball at him.

“I know what you’re thinking,” Julian said, suddenly annoyed. He caught the ball and dumped it in the bag. “It has nothing to do with the number of years. I like her, our friendship. I like that she gets along well with my family. With my other friends. I like spending time with her. I like that I can tell her anything.”

“Anything,” Bernd repeated with a smirk, wiping the sweat on his forehead.

“You’re not getting this, are you?” Julian spat. “Why did I even bother telling you?”

“Look, just tell her how you feel. It’s that simple and, at the same time, I know it’s not. But there’s no other way.” Bernd walked towards the last ball on the ground and kicked it towards Julian but it flew past his friend and landed several meters away, rolling even farther.

Julian flashed him the middle finger before jogging to retrieve it.

“Sorry!” Bernd shouted, laughing and not looking sorry at all.

***

“He’s cute.”

Julian looked up from his phone and then at Laura who was sitting beside him, sipping her latte thoughtfully. He followed her gaze across the park to find a tall guy with a Siberian husky. It was early morning and there were only a few people out enjoying the summer sun. He quickly spotted the pair right across from their bench.

“The guy?” His heart sank.

“The husky. Do you think Nala likes him?”

“How can you tell it’s a boy?”

“I heard the guy call him Charlie.”

You sure are paying attention to the guy, he thought bitterly, but he didn’t say it out loud. Instead, he scoffed, “Dogs don’t have feelings." 

But then again, what do you know about feelings? You’re an asshole, his brain countered and he flinched inside because it’s true. 

Laura shrugged and sipped her latte again. “Feelings aren’t just about intimacy. And besides, who knows? Maybe huskies are her type. Have you considered her having babies with a husky?”

Julian bent down to pat Nala’s head. “She’s still a baby herself.” 

“I wonder what they would look like.”

“Are we seriously talking about this?”

“About Nala’s future children or feelings?”

Julian grabbed Laura’s cup and brought it to his lips but suddenly froze midway. Oh shit, indirect kissing. He shoved it back to her quickly as if it burned his hand. He could feel his heart beating furiously.

“What the hell’s wrong with you?” she exclaimed. “You almost spilled it!”

He swallowed hard as he watched her lips wrap around the spout as if kissing it. Shit.

Laura glanced at him sideways and spoke up, her tone suddenly serious. “There’s something I want to tell you.”

Julian averted his gaze nervously. He bent down again to pet Nala, calming himself. Is she in love with someone else? Is she switching clubs? Is she leaving? IS SHE IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE ELSE?

“Me too,” he blurted out before he could stop himself. How typical of him – putting up all his defenses at the first sign of conflict.

Laura peered at him, deadpan. “You go first then.”

“No, you.”

“I’m back with the team on Friday,” she said, drawing patterns on the cup cover. “Will you come watch me? You know, just like before.”

Julian couldn’t help but chuckle in relief. “Of course! That’s great. I… I’m so proud of you.” He made a move to hug her but stopped and flicked her cheek instead.

“So what are you going to tell me? Seeing that you’re too eager to interrupt me,” Laura teased.

“I didn’t mean to…” He rubbed his face with his hands in frustration. “I just…”

This is it. Is this it? Should I tell her now?

“I… I like…” Julian started. And then at the last second, he found himself searching for something to say. “I – I’d like to go to Jonny’s party on Sunday after my game. Can you come with me?”

Shit. Fuck. Damnit.

She raised an eyebrow at him and then nodded slowly. “Okay.”

“Thanks,” he mumbled with a nervous chuckle. He wiped the sweat on his brow and chuckled some more.

Shit. Fuck. Damnit.

Coward.