#god that's so weird to say being older than some trainees now feels wrong

[difeisheng]

ENONE - "Nirvana" MV

[shoezuki]

I dunno why but I feel like Gepard can handle liquor. Like Sampo has the gift of bein smart knowin his limits and what to drink and when, so he gives off the vibe of being able to handle a lot but he's not that heavyweight. He's jus big brain conman XD. Get enough in him n he'll go down like the rest.

But Geppie. Man's sippin vodka from the bottle and not even slurrin his words. When he was a trainee the older guards decided to prank him with a glass of absinthe n called it a weak alcohol only for him to get halfway and not even bat an eye, only stopped cuz it tasted like ass. Dude takes the path of preservation seriously. Even his liver is beyond destruction XD.

Which is why I find two situations very freakin funny, which I'd love your opinion on:

1) Sampo starts up a drinking competition with him. It's on one of his guardian mandated holidays, so Gepard doesn't have to be responsible, and Dove 3 in 1 won't leave him alone anyway, so he agrees. Partway thru Sampo realises he's losin but Gep insists on gettin the drinks so he can't even cheat his way to victory. Cue Gep having to drag a very drunk, incredibly flirty Sampo back to Natasha but he keeps running off. Even being drunk doesn't stop him from havin smoke bombs up the wazoo.

2) Sampo manages to cheat, scheme, girlboss his way to victory. He comes out on top but now has the problem of an incredibly drunk, dangerously curious Silvermane Captain who won't stop flooding him with the oddest of questions. "Why are your eyes so green? Is your hair natural? What happened to the rest of your shirt? Do you really enjoy crime or is it jus something you fell into?" Whi- okay that one was oddly specific and he doesn't have the capacity, as tispy as he is, to answer.

He really needs to get him back home, before he asks the wrong person the wrong question, but isn't cognitive enough to face being questioned by Bronya and would sooner die than face Serval. So he opts into takin him to one of his more obvious hideouts which poses 10 million problems in and of itself when he keeps freakin touching everything!

ANON YOURE RIGHT YOURE A FUCKING. GENIUS. I been thinkin bout this A LOT ACTUALLY prob cuz for some reason fandom seems to lean towards gepard bein a horrific lightweight (i mean i know Why the lightweight trope is very much seen as 'cute' and childlike n whatever but i digress). But tbhtbhtbh i agree w u 100% like.

Gepard is a Tank of a Man. Homie can handle anything. Mfer the living embodiment of preservation like dude could be like 'serval this drink sucks' and hes gulping down perfume, unaffected. Dudes prob ate weird shit out on the front lines n questionable rations. The stuff in his fridge is expired n hes jus shrugging and eating it anyways.

I think w sampo its like. He SEEMS like he can handle his liquor. And hes not bad w it. But hes an Actor. Mfer could be plastered and you wouldnt know. Dude could convince a breathalyzer that hes only a Little Tipsy. But theres a threshold for him where he jus Caves at some points. Like u said tho man is Always competent w bombs. Like drunken boxing but w daggers dude could be blown over by a gentle breeze but still kicks ass.

I imagine that gepard doesnt Usually drink in that he jus. Doesnt care much. But absolutely his drink of choice is the hard shit. He jus has whiskey w ice or vodka w tonic water like a freak. Maybe a white russian if hes feelin zesty. When his guards convince him to go to the bar n challenge him to take shots he shrugs n jus packs them back no big deal.

But oh my god like. The 2nd scenario. I imagine it in order like first sampo realizing gepard has an Inhuman tolerance n making it his missiom to get the good ol captain fucked up. N it takes a while but like. Gepard jus gets more... blunt. But in a strange soft questioning way where he asks the things he wonders bout but never says aloud. The kinda soul reads like 'sampo youre a criminal not because you need to be but because you enjoy the thrill and attention right?' N sampo is just like holy fuck. But its like his inhibitions are gone and hes so Curious about everything and everything. He hangs onto sampos every word n it drives sampo crazy

[hanniiesuckle17]

Just For A Week

WARNINGS: Swearing, partial smut (Maybe but like not really but also like just gonna but it in for Tumblr’s algorithm), drinking

Summary: Seungmin and Y/n have been friends for years. Their schedules finally coincide and they decide to take a vacation for a week. However, it is a little too expensive for both of their wallets. Y/n finds a discount that is just perfect for them. The only thing is that they have to pretend to be married.

Genre: Romance, friends to lovers!au, fake marriage!au

“Are you serious??” I screamed into the phone. Hearing his laugh on the other end made me smile even wider. “Yeah! I’m off schedule all of next week.”

Seungmin was always busy as of late. There was always some variety show, practice, or tour that kept him occupied. I hadn’t seen my best friend in what felt like forever. My apartment didn’t feel normal if Seungmin wasn’t in it and rearranging my things constantly.

“We have to do something. This is never going to happen again.” I could hear him pulling out his laptop and his fingers tapping on the keys. “Let’s go on a trip. Just us. Like when we were younger!” My mind flashed back to Seungmin’s trainee days where we would get on a random train with $200 and spend a weekend somewhere fun and new. 

“I’m down.” Seungmin tapped some more and listed locations all around Korea. “I’d rather go to the beach, especially while it’s warm out.” He hummed in response and looked some more. “What about Jeju? There is a resort right on the beach. They have one room left…and two beds! Also, they are offering a discount!”

“Seungmin book the damn room before someone else does!” I said with a laugh. “And done!” Both of us cheered over the phone. We made plans and bought plane tickets for two days from now. It had been so long since I had seen Seungmin. We still texted a lot and there was the occasional facetime, but I still missed him. Even with all his quirks and weird slightly annoying antics. Happily, I threw clothes and swimsuits into my suitcase and begin to fantasize about my upcoming vacation with my best friend. 

The plane ride was uneventful. Seungmin and I met at the airport and a great reunion was made. We both slept on the plane and when we landed in Jeju, we immediately rented a car to take us to the hotel. Seungmin drove us to the beautiful resort and parked in the circular driveway as hotel staff came and retrieved out bags. As I stepped out of the car the sundress I was wearing blew slightly in the wind. Seungmin thanked the attendants and walked over to me with a smile. “A little swankier than our normal adventures isn’t it?” I joked as we walked inside.

The woman and the desk greeted us with a smile. “Hello, welcome to our wonderful hotel! Are you checking in?” Seungmin nodded and replied, “ Yes, the room should be under Kim Seungmin.” She tapped on her computer and a bright smile lifted her already high cheeks. “Wonderful. Here is your key card and congratulations you two!” 

“I’m sorry, what do you mean ‘congratulations’?” I asked. Seungmin looked confused as well. The woman’s smile faltered. “It says here your discount is for newlyweds. We are a very popular honeymoon destination. Was there a mistake-” 

“No! Thank you. My wife and I were just wondering that’s all.” Seungmin said latching an arm around my shoulder. I gave her a hopefully not too fake-looking smile. “We also have many tourist attractions near the campus perfect for young couples. Would you like a brochure for LoveIsland?”

“NO!” “NO!” 

We both exclaimed a little too loud. The lady looked shocked and very confused but slowly pulled the brochure back from on top of the counter. I cleared my throat and placed a hand on Seungmin’s chest. “What we mean is, we already have the planned itinerary the hotel sent and we really just want some time to relax in our room.” A small smile quirked up at the edge of her lips and I instantly regretted my choice of words. “Well, we hope you enjoy your stay. Dinner is served at eight. Please do not hesitate to ask us for anything at all. Your bags will be brought shortly.” 

Once Seungmin and I were a safe distance down the hall from the lobby our facade dropped. “What the hell, Seungmin?” He ran a hand through his hair in frustration. “I’m sorry! I didn’t know! All I saw were the words discount!” I stared at him in disbelief. “Why did you agree with her? We are not married. That’s lying! This might be fraud!” 

“Y/n have you seen how expensive this place is? This gets us a discount on literally everything! Why can’t we just pretend for a week?” Seungmin stood in front of our door fiddling with the card. Just as the words left his mouth a couple maybe a year or two older than us walked out of the room next door. A snarky smirk latched itself onto the beautiful girl’s face as she clung to her husband’s arm. 

“Oh, trouble in paradise already?” She said in a silky smooth voice. “Hope the rest of your honeymoon goes better.” The man said. He looked like he came straight out of a Calvin Klein ad. With just a quick glance between each other, we had already agreed that these two were agreeably the worst people on the entire planet with huge sticks up their asses. Instantly I latched myself onto Seungmin’s arm and laid my head on his shoulder. 

“Don’t mind us. If we are too loud by the way, just knock on the door. We’ll try to keep it down, but no promises.” Seungmin said with a new air of confidence as he laced his fingers with mine. A shocked look plastered itself onto the couple’s face. “The same goes for you too.  We can also get pretty loud, so just knock.” With that, the man and woman strutted down the hall and towards the pool.

“Okay, now we have to sell this,” I said with a frustrated sigh. “I don’t know why but I really want to kick their ass,” Seungmin said through gritted teeth as he still stared down the hallway.  “I know right! We are a fake couple and we are totally already less fake than them. And better too!” “And better too!” Seungmin said in agreement as he opened the door to our hotel room. I froze at the sight.

“Why is there one bed?” Seungmin asked as he tossed his stuff onto the couch.

“I thought you said there were two beds?” 

“Yeah, it said double beds!” I pinched the bridge of my nose and tried not to scream.

“Min, did it say double beds…or a double bed?”

“A double bed. What’s the difference?” 

“Seungmin a double bed means that it is one bed! A bed that is double the size of a normal bed!” 

He looked at the bed in defeat. “Shit.” I sat down, the white comforter soft against my bare legs. “It’s fine we can share the bed.” The words came out more like a sigh. There was a silence that fell over the room. After a moment, I couldn’t help but laugh. Then Seungmin started laughing too. “This is a great way to start our vacation, isn’t?” I said through soft laughter. “Definitely will be memorable.”

I sighed and kicked off my shoes. “I’m gonna shower. Do you want to go swimming after?” With a smile, I nodded and grabbed my phone from my purse. Seungmin closed the door of the bathroom and I saw the light turn on from under the door. I walked over to the nightstand to plug in my phone until I realized I forgot my charger. Remembering some hotels put chargers in the drawers I opened it only to let out a scream a the contents. 

Seungmin burst through the bathroom door and ran to me on the other side of the bed. “What? What’s wrong?” I laughed and pointed to the drawer. “Sorry, it just shocked me.” Seungmin pulled open the drawer further to reveal an entire string of condoms branded with the hotel’s name as well as a bottle of lube and ironically a bible. “That’s funny in a twisted sort of way,” Seungmin said with a chuckle. 

A blush rushed to my cheeks when I realized in his hurry to make sure I was okay, Seungmin didn’t put his shirt back on and only stood bare-chested in his jeans. I had always known Seungmin was attractive, it was kind of a requirement for being an idol. But, it was astonishing and ironic that I was just now noticing the fact as he was standing in front of me- shirtless- and holding a string of condoms. 

Maybe it was just the fact that I hadn’t gotten laid since the beginning of university? Yeah. That made sense. Seungmin returned to his shower and I started unpacking. We spent the afternoon playing in the pool and relaxing on the pool deck. It was so nice to catch up with Seungmin and hear what he had been doing. Seungmin had called ahead and confirmed it was a private property and no press would be allowed on campus. 

“Okay, so what does our fake honeymoon package get us?” I asked flipping over onto my stomach so the sun could reach my back. Seungmin lounged on the beach chair next to me, his brown hair blowing slightly in the breeze. He pulled out his phone to answer my question.  

“We get a dinner experience with all the rest of the couples, several planned activities, spa package, and we have tickets to the Jeju music festival at the end of the week.” Seungmin scrolled more on his phone, reading something else on the hotel website. A young waiter came by carrying a tray of drinks. “Would you like one, beautiful?” He said leaning down and giving me a wink. My cheeks started to heat up as I gratefully took one of the Mai Tais. 

“Hey, chill. That’s my wife you’re flirting with!” Seungmin said standing up in front of the waiter. I tried to hide my shock at his reaction. “Sorry, dude! I didn’t see a ring. My bad!” The ring! Oh my god, we were so stupid. “Oh- I left it in the room, babe. I’m sorry, I didn’t want to lose it.” I interjected quickly, hoping to distract from the fact that Seungmin and I had no actual explanation for not wearing wedding bands.

The waiter stared as I wrapped my arm around Seungmin’s waist, drink in my other hand. “I apologize,” He said before walking off. Just when we thought we were out of the woods, “What was that commotion all about?” Walking up-of course looking like she came out of a Victoria’s Secret catalog- was the woman from before,  her husband trailing behind. “Oh, it was nothing! I left my ring on the nightstand so I wouldn’t lose it-” “And the cabana boy over there just started hitting on her. I took care of it. Seungmin wrapped his arms around my waist and moved behind me.

The lady scoffed before holding up her hand. “I would never take off my ring! It’s too precious.” She said smiling at her husband next to her. Her ring was huge and sparkled in the light. It had to cost at least $10,000. The woman herself was drowning in designer and expensive products. I mean she was wearing heels at the god damn swimming pool.

“I don’t think we have been properly introduced. My name is Kwon Si Hyun and this is my wife, Jin Ae.” She waved politely but that arrogant smirk was still stuck on bother her and her spouse’s face. The sight of it just made me want to smack her. Instead, I put on my nicest smile and my hand found Seungmin’s cheek resting on my shoulder. 

“I’m Y/n and this is my amazing husband, Kim Seungmin.” Seungmin smiled, but I could see he was just as disgusted as I was. “Kim Seungmin? Why is that so familiar?” The man asked shaking his head. Jin Ae’s face lit up. “Yah! You are an idol! From that group Stray something!” Seungmin’s grip tightened and he tried to hide his annoyance. “Yeah, Stray Kids.” 

She playfully smacked her husband’s broad chest. “I knew we should come back here! They are always saying celebrities stay here!” She eyed Seungmin up and down and instantly I felt very angry. “Yeah! Minnie is great! He is just so busy all the time so I am left by myself so much.” I turned around to face Seungmin and took his face in my hands. He glanced over at Si Hyun and Jin Ae briefly before smiling back at me.

“I know how that is! Running my company can be time-consuming, that’s why I take Jin Ae out so much like this.” Si Hyun gave her a playful smack on the ass before kissing her cheek making her squeal. Slowly Seungmin and I inched apart. Jin Ae grabbed my hands. “Kim Y/n, we should play while our husbands talk about business!” Before I could object she dragged me off to the other side of the pool towards the hot tub. I gave Seungmin a sorry look over my shoulder as I watched Si Hyun clap him on the back and hand him a beer.

Two hours later I slammed open the door of our hotel room. Seungmin let out a gasp from where he lay on the bed, dropping his phone. “Hey! Don’t scare me like that.” Seungmin had changed into jeans and a shirt and was playing on his phone, while I was standing cold in my bikini from sitting in the pool for hours. 

“I hate her.”

“I hate him.”

“I want to smack that fake tan and boob job right off her.”

“Be careful they’re right next door!” Seungmin said with a laugh. He tossed me a towel from the counter. Quickly drying off, I sat on the edge of the chair. “We need rings if we are gonna pull this off.” He nodded from the bed. “All Jin Ae would talk about was how she and I would make such great friends and how we should meet up and drink daiquiris when we get back to Seoul. She’ll take me shopping because my swimsuit is just so last season.” I said mocking her high pitched voice. 

I turned and walked to the dresser. I didn’t notice the way Seungmin’s eyes followed me as if just now realizing I was standing before him in a bikini and water still on my skin. “Okay well, I could find a pawn shop near here and get some rings?” I nodded pulling out a dress to wear for dinner. “If you leave now you have just enough time to make it back and change for dinner.” He shrugged. “What’s so important about dinner?”

“Another happy coincidence, “ I said dryly pulling some heels out of my bag- a pair that I had wanted to hopefully go clubbing in. “Jin Ae asked around and managed to get us switched to her table…for the rest of the week. apparently, we are now their partner couple. You know all those awesome activities. Thanks to that bitch we are doing it with them!” I said throwing the towel onto the bed. 

Seungmin walked over and took my hand. “Hey. We can still have fun okay? Anywhere I am with you I’ll have fun.” He looked at me sincerely and pulled me into a hug. “You’re the best, Min.” With a sigh, he pulled away and grabbed his keys and wallet. “Okay. I’m off to get us wedding rings! Wow. I never thought I’d say those words.” He laughed and exited the room leaving me an hour to get ready for dinner with the dreaded Kwons.

Dressed in a nice white dress that hugged my curves and my favorite pair of blue pumps I played with my earrings waiting for Seungmin in the lobby. He ran up to me, hair styled and his shirt was switched our for a dress shirt he had half-tucked. I couldn’t deny the fact he looked good. He eyed me up and down before handing me something. 

Opening my hand revealed a beautiful silver diamond ring. “Seungmin! This must have cost a fortune!” My eyes went wide as I tried to keep my voice down. I watched as Seungmin slipped a matching silver band onto his left hand. Seungmin smiled. “No, it’s okay! Think of it as a gift.” Seungmin took the ring from you and gently pushed it onto your ring finger on your left hand. 

“So, better half, you ready for an excruciatingly long dinner?” Seungmin said with a laugh, offering me his arm. “Only for you.” Together we ventured outside to the huge outdoor restaurant. The ceiling was covered with vines, plants, and dangling lanterns. The hostess greeted us with a bright smile. One that seemingly everyone in the hospitality industry had. Did they have a class for it or something? 

“Name?”

“Kim? Kim Seungmin.”

“Ah right here! If you and your wife would follow me this way to your table for the week.” 

Grabbing two menus, she led us through the beautiful restaurant and to our table in the middle of the floor. Not surprisingly, Kwon Si Hyun and Kwon Jin Ae were already seated and sipping on wine. “Don’t forget to smile,” Seungmin whispered through clenched teeth. Nodding I put on the absolute nicest smile  I could manage and waved to Jin Ae. Seungmin sat beside me and next to Si Hyun. The minute I sat down Jin Ae pulled my hand to look at my ring. 

“Yah Kim Seungmin! You have such classy taste. Maybe a little understated compared to mine, but who could compare to me!” She said with a snobby laugh. Seungmin took my other hand and laced his fingers with mine atop the table. Maybe it was the drive to prove we were better than this snobbish egotistical couple, but things like this with Seungmin were starting to become more natural and it made me wonder.

“Y/n is the only pretty one in my eyes,” Seungmin said looking at me. “Seungmin-ssi! Don’t you think I am pretty enough to be an idol?” Jin Ae said in her annoying voice. I struggled to hide my disdain, instead choosing to drain the glass of wine in front of me. 

Dinner was exhausting. Seungmin and I barely survived by glancing at each other as pretentious remarks were thrown back and forth between the other couple. After finally escaping their company Seungmin and I headed back to the room. “Oh my god, they are so terrible.” 

Seungmin laughed and opened the door. “Why did we agree to go clubbing with them tomorrow night again?” I sighed kicking off my shoes and throwing them somewhere near my bag. “Because I like clubbing and not even she can ruin that.” “You sure?” I glared and he laughed happily. “This isn’t so bad. It honestly isn’t that different from how we usually act.” He said changing into nightclothes. 

I shrugged thinking back on tonight. Did Seungmin really see no difference? Was I the only one who noticed? He hopped into bed and played on his phone while I changed. “I’m glad I’m on vacation with you though,” I said climbing onto the other side of the bed. “I missed you. I love the boys, but hanging our with you is different.” Why did that make my heart skip a beat? 

“Yeah, you too.”

“Goodnight,”

“Goodnight,”

Turning off the lights the both of us drifted off to sleep. The warm island breeze softly blew through the open window drifting over us like fairy dust. As if it was casting a spell over our eyes so that the next morning we would wake up seeing differently. Or at least one of us would. 

Seungmin and I took breakfast in the room the next morning. Not even we could deal with the chaotic mess that was the Kwon’s first thing in the morning. We played in our room and lounged on the patio. To be honest we were hiding from Jin Ae and Si Hyun. Seungmin and I sat in PJs and simply talked the whole day, something we hadn’t done in a while. The boys called to check in and I joined in on the video call. 

“Y/n! Jisung called out once my face appeared on the screen. I leaned over Seungmin’s shoulder to see all eight faces on his laptop. “Oh? Sungie? How are you guys?” Catching up with the boys was fun but I could see how Seungmin could easily get exhausted by them. 

As night grew closer I actually began to grow excited about going out. “Seungmin, which should I wear?” I said holding up two dresses. A faux hunter green velvet dress and the white dress from last night. “You know you’ll never hear the end of it from Jin Ae if you wear the same dress twice.” I sighed knowing he was right. Slipping on the tight dress, I fiddled with some earrings before finally deciding on a pair. “Why do girls take so long to get ready? I swear you take longer than Hyunjin.” 

“Really?”

“I take that back. No one takes longer than Hyunjin.”

Chuckling I finished applying some eyeliner and lip tint. “Whatever I wear Jin Ae will outshine me, so this will do.” I zipped up my shoes securing the three-inch chunky heeled boots to my feet. Seungmin looked me up and down his eyes widening slightly. “Don’t be silly you look great.” Seungmin stood in heavily ripped black jeans and a black button-down with some of the top buttons undone. He had rolled up his sleeves and for some reason, his ring was more noticeable. Maybe because I knew he never wore accessories.

Seungmin handed me my purse and grabbed his phone and wallet and then we headed to meet Jin Ae and Si Hyun at the club. Seungmin and I drove into the city and sang along to the music on the radio. We pulled up and heard the music from the club before even reaching the building. “Seungmin,” I said grabbing his arm, stopping him from exiting the car. “What?” I pulled open my bag and grabbed a piece of black fabric. 

“We aren’t at the hotel anymore. Someone could see you.” I pulled him back and gently placed the mask over his face. He stared at me while I tucked the fabric behind his ears. “Thank you,” For some reason, he didn’t pull away. At first, I was confused, but I quickly grew comfortable with how he was looking at me. Just as he was about to speak my phone rang. Sighing he pulled away and let me answer my phone. 

“Oh, Jin Ae?”

He looked over at me as we got out of the car and walked across the street to the club. “Yes, we are walking up now.” Aggressively pushing the end call button I turned to Seungmin. “She gave our name to the VIP bouncer, so we can just go in.” He nodded and walked up to the bouncer outside. “Name?” He said without looking up. “Here,” Seungmin said pulling out his driver’s license. The bouncer’s eyes went wide and he did a double-take. “Welcome, Mr. Kim! Please enjoy your night.” 

I smiled feeling the vibrations of the music and the bright colored lights flashing throughout the room. “You want a beer?” I yelled over the music. He nodded and I left his side to walk up to the bar. “Two beers!” I yelled to the bartender. He nodded and went to the other side to get them. Suddenly I felt a hand grabbing my ass. “Hey!” I yelled turning around. My eyes widened to see a very attractive man behind me, a handsome smile on his face. “Oh, sorry. I thought you were someone else, but what’s your name?” 

He leaned against the bar and his hand brushed against my arm. Normally I would love this kind of attention from someone as hot as he was, but I could smell the alcohol on his breath and oddly my mind went back to Seungmin. “Listen, buddy. You can fuck off. I’m married.” I said holding up my hand and showing him the ring. He scoffed and took my hand. “Oh please! Girls these days are wearing rings like this all the time.” The bartender handed me my two beers, but the man stopped me from leaving. 

“Come on, baby stay a while.”

“I told you, I’m married.” 

“Really, where’s your husband? I don’t see him anywhere.”

Where was Seungmin? My eyes looked everywhere not seeing him. I tried to shrug off the guy’s grip but he wouldn’t let go. “Dude fuck off!” I yelled. “Come on, you lied about your husband! No one is even here!” He said getting too close for comfort.

“What are you talking about? I’m right here.”

The man turned around to see Seungmin, still wearing his mask. He honestly looked intimidating with his fists clenched and a glare piercing into the other man. “Really? You’re her husband? Man, your taste in men is shit. He can’t be.” Seungmin tugged me by the waist into his side. Before holding up his left hand. The man gulped as he looked at the silver ring glinting in the lights. He scoffed.

“Yeah, whatever. The bitch wasn’t that hot anyway.”

Seungmin took his beer and lifted his mask to take a swig. “Come on, we should meet up with Si Hyun.” Seungmin led me to the VIP lounge upstairs. His hand latched tightly onto mine, making sure I didn’t lose him in the crowd. The bouncer let us in and immediately Jin Ae waved to us from their table. 

Obviously, the both of them had started drinking long before we got there. “Y/n-ah! You are my dongsaeng now! You must call me Unnie!” She said draping herself all over me. “Yeah, of course, Unnie.” She poured us a shot of whatever liquor was on the table and handed it to me. Seungmin talked with Si Hyun as Jin Ae pounded shot after shot. I drank but only enough to get a little buzz going. 

“Hey, you two should do a love shot! Come on get the night started!” Si Hyun said with a bright grin. Jin Ae happily clapped along in agreement before pouring us two shots. “No, I’m driving tonight-” “Come on, Seungmin! Don’t be a downer!” Jin Ae whined. He looked at me briefly before picking up the shot. After linking arms, we were so much closer. Seungmin looked into my eyes before saying, “Cheers.” We both took the shot and heard loud cheers from the other couple. 

“Si Hyun, come dance with me! Y/n, you should come too!” She said pulling Seungmin and me out of our seats and drastically changing the topic in her drunken state. Si Hyun followed happily as Jin Ae dragged us to the VIP dance floor. We dance for hours and had a few more drinks. Soon we ended up back in the booth, Jin Ae and Si Hyun sucking each other’s faces off like some creatures out of the movie Alien. Seungmin, sat next to me his arm lazily draped behind me over the back of the booth. 

“Yah! We can’t be the only two kissing!” Si Hyun said suddenly, his words slurring. “Seungmin, kiss your woman. Show her you love her!” He let out a nervous laugh. “Hyung, we don’t normally do that type of stuff.” Jin Ae whined in her annoying voice. “What?! You don’t kiss?” 

“No! What he means is, we don’t usually kiss in public. We can get carried away to easily.” I interjected. They seemed content with my answer. “I certainly know what you mean there!” Her lips captured Si Hyun’s in a sloppy kiss, causing both Seungmin and me to cringe and roll our eyes. “Still! We are all friends here! No one cares if you get carried away! Fuck on the couch for all we care!” Jin Ae said over the music. 

The two of them looked at us expectantly, waiting for us to do as asked. Fuck, I couldn’t think of a way out. Seungmin desperately glanced at me, hoping I would think of something he hadn’t but I came up empty. “Fine, you want to see us kiss so badly?” Seungmin asked. I’m sure they couldn’t tell over the blaring bass but I heard Min’s voice shake as his arm came down to rest on my shoulder, pulling me closer to him so that our sides were pressed together. 

“Yes! Do it! I’m eager to see this uncontrollable passion Y/n says you have!” Jin Ae said wiggling her perfectly plucked eyebrows. God damn it. Why did I have to say that? Seungmin turned to me already a very short distance away. Gently I pulled down his mask revealing his face fully. His left hand came up to my cheek and he looked into my eyes. There was almost a silent question he was asking. It was one of the things I loved about Seungmin- that we could have entire conversations with just a simple look. 

My breath caught in my throat as I saw him move closer. Our eyes met briefly before I looked down at his lips. Why wasn’t he making the move? If he didn’t do it soon they might suspect something? Growing impatient, I closed my eyes and smashed my lips onto his closing the tiny distance. Seungmin hesitated to kiss me back but soon he took control. His hand slid down my body to rest on my thigh. The touch sent shivers down my spine. As he kissed me again he pulled part of my leg closer to him, pulling me almost into his lap. 

I had never thought kissing Seungmin would be like this. I had never thought about kissing Seungmin. His grip tightened on my thigh as he continued to press rough kisses on my lips. instinctively, my hand went to his jaw and traveled into his hair. He smiled against my lips and his thumb rubbed across the bare skin of my leg. His teeth snagged my bottom lip, pulling at it gently and muffled sound escaped my throat bringing me back to reality. I pulled away out of breath and looked at Seungmin. 

We had crossed a line. A sort of invisible line there was in every friendship between a boy and a girl. Kissing to convince them was one thing, but something felt different now about the way Seungmin was looking at me. “Y/n,” I turned to find once again Si Hyun and Jin Ae making out with full force. “Really? Are they that horny and self-obsessed?” I said sighing. I didn’t even worry about them hearing me. 

By the time it was three a.m, all four of us were slightly stumbling to our rooms- some more than others. Seungmin had an arm thrown casually over my shoulder and we watched as Si Hyun raced down the hall with a squealing Jin Ae on his back. I rolled my eyes and looked at Seungmin who scoffed. It always seemed like they were putting on a show for someone. 

“YAH! DONGSAENG!” Jin Ae screamed. “Unnie, be quiet! There are people sleeping!” I said putting on another fake smile, but she was too drunk to notice. “Shhhh! I expect you to fuck him good tonight! Right? Give your husband what he deserves!” She slurred. “I’m sure it won’t be as good as how well I’m going to fuck my Si Hyun, but do well!” She hung off of her husband like a wet curtain smiling with a crazy look in her eyes as she began to kiss all along the side of his neck.

“Seungmin! You use protection! You and me…we can’t have kids with our careers too early.” With one last clap on the shoulder, Si Hyun opened their door and they disappeared within the room. We walked into our room only to be met with a loud bang against our wall followed by some very lewd sounds. “Holy shit! Are our walls really that thin?” Seungmin quickly put a hand to my lips keeping me quiet. “What?” I mouthed to him. “They’re showing off! They are trying to prove they are better than us at you know….” He whispered.

“Fuck them. We can’t let them think that!”

“Are you really suggesting we-”

“Seungmin!” 

“Sorry, that’s what you were implying.”

I scoffed as Jin Ae loudly and dramatically called out Si Hyun’s name. “What should we do? They are probably listening.” Seungmin whispered. Suddenly an idea popped into my head. I walked closer to the wall and as loudly as I could manage I let out a strangled moan. “Ahhh Seungmin!” I looked over to see Seungmin frozen in place. A crimson blush flooded his cheeks and ears. The sight was almost as cute as it was funny.

“Wha- what ar- what are you doing?”

“Shhh! Just follow my lead.” 

He jumped as my hands pulled at the hem of his shirt. “Shhh Just trust me!” I said with a laugh. He let me pull the shirt over his head and push him over to the bed. Loud and overdramatic sounds were still coming from the room next to us. “Okay now grunt, really loud.” 

The sound he made sounded more like he was constipated and I did my best to hold back my laughter as I sat next to him on the bed. “No, like grunt, moan, sex noises. Come on!” He tried again but only slightly improved. “Come on Seungmin we have to make this convincing!” My hand flew across his cheek and he screamed in shock. I shoved Min’s shirt into his open mouth muffling the sound making it sound more like a moan. “See more like that!” 

“Ahhh Seungmin! Again!” I moaned. Seungmin arched a brow and took the shirt out of his mouth. “Shit, Y/n! Just like that!” He groaned loudly, a bright smile on his face as he tried not to laugh at the situation. “Oh fuck!” I whined, making Seungmin fall back onto the bed trying to keep in his laughter. “Quick get up on the bed!” I whispered. Seungmin stood on the bed with me and looked to me for what to do next. “Okay jump!” Both of us started jumping causing the headboard to bang against the wall. 

“Oh fuck! Harder, Min!” I screamed. I started jumping closer to the head of the bead so the sound would be louder. The sounds from their room started to dwindle until suddenly there was a loud combination of moans and strung together curse words. “Come on Seungmin we can last longer than that!” I whispered. “God-Y/n!” He moaned again, the sound becoming more natural. 

“Seungmin! Fuck I’m so close!” The two of you laughed as you continued to jump on the bed faster. I let out a strangled set of moans before a loud and high pitched whine at the end that could almost be a scream. “Keep jumping!” I whispered. He nodded and continued to groan and string together some dirty talk I didn’t know he had in him. 

“Fuck, you take me so well! Ahh!” I couldn’t help but giggle interrupting the moan I was previously imitating. Seungmin pressed a finger to his lips with a smile. “Okay, big finale. Just trust me, okay.” Seungmin nodded with a grin as he continued to jump. I stopped jumping and caught my breath. This was almost as much of a workout as actual sex. To seal the deal I gave Seungmin a hard and swift kick to the balls sending him crumpling over and letting out the perfect groan that to any ear would sound perfectly convincing.

I joined him in letting out another strangled moan. Seungmin lay on the bed, his hands between his legs. “I fucking hate you,” Seungmin whispered his voice considerably higher. “You love me,” Rushing over to the mini-fridge I grabbed a cold bottle of Coke and handed it to Seungmin who immediately placed it against his crotch. 

“If it helps, it sounded very convincing,” I said with a laugh. Seungmin glared at me from his spot on the bed. “Oh wait!” I said sitting up and grabbing Seungmin’s hand. “Pinch me!” I said. He pinched me very hard on the wrist. “Ah! Not there, you idiot!” Bringing his had up to my neck he nodded. He pinched the skin on my neck hard. “Again.”

His hand moved lower to just below my collar bone and he pinched hard there as well. I rushed to the bathroom and checked the marks. They were red, but not as convincing as the real deal. You could tell when you had a hickey. This didn’t look like one. With an aggravated sigh, I returned to the bedroom and pushed Seungmin onto his back. “Hold still. Mine don’t look real.” Seungmin froze in shock as I leaned over and pressed my lips to his neck, near his jaw. 

“Okay either move your head, or I’m getting on top of you,” I said when Seungmin lay frozen looking up at me, his head unmovable from looking straight forward. Rolling my eyes, I threw my leg over his waist and leaned back over so I could finish making it look real. My teeth must have grazed over a sensitive spot because my movement froze when Seungmin let out a tiny low toned moan. Choosing to ignore it, I moved down to his collar bone and shoulder leaving a couple of marks there too. 

I pulled away to see a blush covering Min’s ears. He simply looked at me, his lips parted slightly. It was then I noticed his hands and wandered to rest on my thighs. I don’t know what compelled me to say what I said next. Maybe it was the adrenaline. Maybe it was the leftover alcohol still circling my system. 

“Now, you.”

“What?”

“Do you know how?”

His brows furrowed as he sat up. He was so close now that our noses softly bumped together. I couldn’t tell if he nodded, but Seungmin didn’t say anything. His stare flicked from my eyes to my lips before he leaned over and placed his lips just under my jaw. I could feel his teeth softly bite the skin there. A shiver went down my spine when I felt the cooling touch of his tongue soothe over the spot. My hands pressed against his bare chest as he moved to the other side of my neck. On instinct my body let my head roll back, giving his lips full access to my neck. 

A shaky breath escaped my open lips as his hands moved from my thighs to wrap around my waist, one of them coming up and around to just below the base of my neck. “Seungmin,” I whispered as the bites became open mouth kisses all along my skin. He stopped and let his lips drag up to my jaw. It was like every fiber of my being was standing at attention, waiting for what he would do next. 

I stared at him through hooded eyes, while his gaze never left my lips. After what seemed like an eternity his lips met mine in a soft and slow kiss. A sort of fog overtook my brain and my body went into autopilot. My hands moved to his neck and wrapped around him. Seungmin pushed me closer to his chest as his lips moved against mine. 

The blaring of a telephone broke us apart. My head started to spin. In some sort of a daze himself, Seungmin picked up the phone. “Yes?” He listened to the speaker intently and then his face visibly changed. “What’s wrong?” I asked, finally finding the courage to speak. He ignored me and continued to listen to the person on the other line.

Without warning, he got up from under me and walked towards the patio, but didn’t leave the room. I watched Seungmin with tired eyes and a slightly drunk mind as the lean muscles in his back shifted with his movement. Shaking my head I tried to push through the alcohol’s effect. 

“Okay, yes. Thank you.”

Seungmin turned back to you a stressed expression filling his face. “Min, what’s up?” He looked back over at me before sitting on the edge of the bed. “I can’t talk about it now.” Nodding I moved to give him more space. “Is there anything I can do?” He shook his head and laid back down on the bed. 

“No. I just want to sleep.”

I stayed silent and got up from the bed. Going to each light I turned it off and then quickly changed for bed. When I returned Seungmin was already under the covers and staring up at the ceiling. I wanted so badly to reach out and comfort him, but clearly, he didn’t want that. I climbed into bed and turned away from him to give him space. Maybe he would tell me in the morning.

A morning breeze once again blew through our open patio door. I turned to find Seungmin gone from his side of the bed. My ears picked up on the sound of the shower running. Sitting up, I clutched my head cursing my past self for drinking so much. Tequila shots were not a good idea. Memories from last night slowly crept to the surface of my mind. We went to the club. Seungmin saved me from that douche bag. We drank with the Kwons. We….kissed. 

We went back to the hotel. Jin Ae was a bitch. We had what could only be described as a fake sex-off. And Seungmin…kissed me. He kissed me. Like a real kiss. Not a fake one like at the club. That was a full on fucking make out session. I mean I was drunk. He was tipsy. It probably didn’t mean anything. Why did that thought disappoint me? 

Looking over I saw a glass of water on the nightstand as well as a bottle of ibuprofen. Smiling a took the pills Seungmin left me and pulled my phone out to look at the time. The door opened and Min walked out in shorts and a hoodie before. “Morning,” I said. He looked over and nodded at me before sitting at the table with his laptop. “Thanks for the medicine.” He shrugged his shoulders and continued typing, but I swore I saw the tiniest smile.

“Looks like breakfast is in a couple minutes.” Seungmin nodded again and continued to look at his laptop with a serious expression. Getting up and grabbing clothes from my suitcase I went into the bathroom to change. Immediately, my eyes landed on my neck and I almost screamed. Scattered across either side were dark hickeys all down my neck. 

“Hey, Seungmin!” I called out. “Yeah?” “Will you grab my concealer from my bag?” After some shuffling, Seungmin knocked on the door before entering. His eyes instantly went to my neck and stayed there while he handed me the makeup. “You’re covering them up? I though the whole point was to see them.” I turned back to the mirror just in time to miss Seungmin’s smirk as he looked at the dark marks he made all over your neck.

“I’m just gonna cover up this one.” He nodded and left the bathroom. I went about covering the biggest mark and then changing clothes before applying a little bit of makeup for the day. As I exited the bathroom Seungmin was getting off the phone with someone. “Y/n we need to talk.” Sitting on the bed, I nodded and looked back over to him. “Okay.”

“It’s about last night.”

I tried to hide the blush as the heat flooded every inch of my face. “What about last night?” I asked innocently. Just play dumb. I can always say April Fools if he asks me about it. Wait-fuck it’s not April. 

“There was a picture of us taken last night.���

“Last night?”

“Yeah at the club.”

He tossed me his phone, a page already pulled up to a very popular gossip blog.The picture clear as day showed Seungmin and I making out in the booth. It also hand a close up of my hand which was on his jaw. The ring sparkled in the colored lights. The headline read: Stray Kids Main Vocalist, Kim Seungmin Spotted With His Secret Wife At Jeju Club.

Scrolling down I saw more pictures of the two of us. In the club. Walking out with Si Hyun and Jin Ae. Even Seungmin opening the car door for me. More articles popped up in the recommended. Titles like: Seungmin’s Hidden Marriage, Seungmin’s Mystery Girl, STAY’s Response to Seungmin’s Secret Marriage.

“Oh my god,” I looked up to see Seungmin had started to wander outside. Probably giving me time to process the situation. His ringtone sounded in the room making me jump. Looking down I saw the stupidest picture of Jisung.

“Hello,”

“Y/n? Have you heard what’s going on? Are you okay? Wait why do you have Seungmin’s phone?”

“He stepped out for a minute. Yes, I saw the articles.”

“ARE YOU ACTUALLY MARRIED TO SEUNGMIN?”

His voice was so loud I had to pull the phone away from my ear. Rolling my eyes I brought the phone back to my ear. Running a hand through my hair I couldn’t help but chuckle at my friend. 

“I don’t know how to explain it. It’s kind of complicated.”

“Man, Y/n. I thought you and I were endgame. Way to betray me.”

I couldn’t help but laugh. Jisung and I were close friends. Sure we flirted sometimes but we both knew getting together would be a terrible idea. For much the same reason that Seungmin and I were now in trouble.

“But, really are you and Seungmin married?”

“No.”

“But you’ve kissed him?”

“….yes….”

“And you have a ring?”

“…..yes…”

“What more to marriage is there?”

“Well for one thing legal documents, dumbass.”

His laugh could be heard probably even without the phone. “So, it’s not real?” “No,” I then started to explain everything that had happened to us in the past few days. Even the part about last night. “You kicked Seungmin in the balls!” Now hearing it out loud it was pretty funny.

“But, seriously. The…other stuff…Do you like Seungmin?” Did I like Seungmin? I watched as he stood on the patio. He looked really stressed. My thoughts drifted to last night and the last couple of days. Did I really like Seungmin? Friends definitely didn’t do what we did last night. And they certainly didn’t act like how we were acting. But, it was all because of the fake marriage right? All for a discount? But, then again. I didn’t have to say I was married to that guy in the club. And Seungmin could’ve let that guy hit on me if he wanted to. 

“Are you dramatically rethinking the entirety of the last couple of days?”

“Shut up.”

“So, I’m taking that as a yes?”

Maybe Jisung was right. “I think so? Maybe… I don’t know. We’ve been friends for so long. I don’t really know if I can tell.” A sigh escaped my lips filling the empty room. Now my thoughts were running a a mile a minute through my head.

“Can I give you some advice?”

“Sure, why not.”

“If someone seriously wants to be a part of your life, they will seriously make an effort to be in it. No reasons. No excuses. Seungmin does that for you.”

The thought made me smile. Did Seungmin really care about me that much? Quickly I finished up the conversation and walked out onto the patio, joining Seungmin. “Jisung called.” He gave me a half assed smile before taking back his phone. “Come on. We should head to breakfast.” 

Perhaps it was the conversation with his hyung, but I couldn’t help but notice Seungmin’s hand on my back as we walked back inside to leave. The staff all smiled at us as we made our way back out to the restaurant. As usual Si Hyun and Jin Ae were seated at the table. Seungmin took my hand without warning as we approached the table. 

“Y/n! I had so much fun last night!” She said in her shrill voice. “Me too! I loved clubbing with you!” Seungmin tried not to laugh at how fake my voice sounded as we sat down. Lightly I elbowed his stomach and he regained his composure. He draped his arm behind my chair letting his fingers brush my arm when he saw the waiter from a few days ago walk up to our table.

“I’ll have a mimosa. My hangover is killing me.” Jin Ae said not even sparing the boy a second glance. Si Hyun ordered a black coffee and before I could speak, Seungmin ordered for me. “I’ll take an americano and she wants a chai latte with a glass of orange juice too.” Seungmin turned back to me with a surprised smile.

“You remember what I drink in the morning?” 

“Of course.”

“That’s so sweet,”

He smiled and leaned in to place a kiss on my lips. It shocked me at first, since I had been the one to initiate our “fake kisses”. He chuckled when he pulled away, seeing my face. “Yah, dongsaeng. That’s quite the love bite on your neck.” Jin Ae said with a smirk clearly pointing at my neck. 

“Yeah, we heard you guys last night. Didn’t know little Minnie was so rough in bed.” Si Hyun sent Seungmin a look and he scoffed before sipping on his water. “Ah, hyung. Let’s talk about something else.” He laughed and thanked the waiter as our drinks arrived. The conversation finally drifted away from last nights events and onto today’s schedule and ordering. 

Breakfast was delicious despite the company. Seungmin and I did our best to ignore them and spend time with each other. That was what we came here for in the first place. Right? This time it was Seungmin who threw us under the Kwon bus when he absentmindedly agreed to accompany them to the beach for something called the Couple Comp. 

The second we were out of eyesight I slapped his shoulder repeatedly making him laugh. “Hey! Stop!” “Seungmin what the fuck!”’ He laughed as he ran back to our hotel room with me right on his heels. “Why did you agree to go?” He opened the door and jumped back onto the bed. “Because I love the beach and you love kicking their ass. Well I also love kicking their ass, but I’m excited about the beach too.”

Rolling my eyes, I pulled a swimsuit out of my suitcase. “I thought we needed to figure out the whole photo thing.” Seungmin shrugged and pulled out his phone. “I called my manager this morning. We talked and figured something out. He said he will release a statement tonight after talking to the CEO.” Did they really fix things that quickly? I thought a scandal like this would be more….scandal-y? 

“So you aren’t getting kicked out because of me?” Seungmin shook his head with a laugh. The biggest sigh of relief left my chest and I jumped on top of him giving him the biggest hug. He laughed and hugged me back. “Yah, come on. We can celebrate this later. We have pretentious asses to kick.” 

“You’re completely correct. Let’s go.” 

Quickly we changed and raced down to the beach. Seungmin signed us into the contest and returned with two matching purple Hawaiian style shirts. "They said each couple had to wear these." He handed me mine and tossed his white t-shirt off to the side with my stuff. He slipped his arms through the shirt and then helped me put on mine. "At least you back won't get burned now." He said laughing.

Hand in hand we walked over to Jin Ae who was sipping on a margarita. Si Hyun was next to her sporting the same yellow Hawaiian shirt as his wife. Surrounded by other couples in brightly colored shirts we waited near a stage for further instruction. Seungmin and I talked just like old times. We joked and laughed. He told me funny stories about the boys, making time fly by faster in his company. 

By the time the MC stepped on stage, the sun was high in the sky and burning down on us. Seungmin stood behind me with his arms wrapped around my waist, acting a sunshade for me with his shadow.  

“Welcome, welcome, welcome!” The happy man said. “Are you guys ready to find out who the best couple is?” The crowd erupts into happy screams. Jin Ae blows my ear off next to me and Min cheers from behind me. “The first challenge we are going to do is for the men!” Everyone cheers once again as the MC starts to explain. The first competition was a relay race where the first twelve men moved on with their partners. 

We all walked over to the course where the men lined up. Jin Ae gave her husband a huge smack on the lips. With a smirk he tossed her the yellow shirt revealing a very...very...very toned torso. The kind of torso that sent cartoon hearts popping out of my eyes and sirens playing in my head. 

“Hey. You gonna wish me luck or not?” Seungmin said turning me to face him. There was a harsh look on his face and I noticed him shoot a glare at Si Hyun. “Oh, yeah. Sorry. Good luck!” His face softened when he saw my bright smile. Without warning he kissed me, his hand dropping to my waist and his free hand tangling his fingers with mine. 

My heart skipped a beat. Closing my eyes I kissed him back resting my palm on his chest. My head started spinning when I felt his teeth pull on my bottom lip before Seungmin pulled away and kissed my cheek. “Hold this?” All I could do was stare Seungmin in the eye, frozen, as he removed the purple shirt and put it in my hands. 

Seungmin was slim but toned in all the right places. “Cheer for me, gorgeous?” He laughed at my frozen state and raised an eyebrow. “Y/n,” Shaking myself out of hot Seungmin world I nodded and smiled at him. He waved as he went to join the other guys. 

The relay was really challenging. The boys were doing a really tough relay race that ended with them swimming out to a platform, grabbing a flag and then swimming back to shore. I screamed at the top of my lungs as Seungmin grabbed our purple flag. Si Hyun was only a few yards ahead of him. Jin Ae cheered as her husband crossed the finish line. Seungmin followed soon after, running up to me out of breath. 

I wrapped my arms around him, not caring that he was still soaking wet. He gave a breathy sigh and weakly draped his arms around my waist. My fingers tangled in his hair and I held on tightly to his shoulder. “I’m sorry, I didn’t win.” 

“No! I’m proud of you, Min! I’ll kick her ass in the next round.” The boys dried off and the next challenge began. The remaining twelve girls got up onstage with the MC as he announced the next challenge. “For our wonderful ladies we have a beauty contest!” Jin Ae cheered next to me along with the other girls. I saw Seungmin and Si Hyun cheer and move up towards the front of the stage. 

The girls shed their shirts and begin parading around in their swimsuits for the judges. Seungmin gave me a thumbs up as I walked on stage in line with the other girls. I put on my biggest smile and tried not to think about the big ass omelette I had for breakfast. Of course Jin Ae was in front of me with her big boobs and freaking thigh gap. 

The judges deliberated and announced there was a tie for the first slot. They told two of the girls they were eliminated and went through the lineup until they got to me and Jin Ae. “The judges have determined there is a tie between these to beautiful ladies!” Everyone cheered as the MC walked over to us with the mic. “What’s your name?” The man said eyeing Jin Ae up and down. She grabbed the mic and waved to the audience. “Hello! I am Kwon Jin Ae! This is my dongsaeng but don’t think I’m going to go easy on her!” She cheered happily giving me the side eye. The audience cheered and some of them pulled out their phones. 

“What about you?” 

“Oh, I’m L/-- uh Kim Y/n. She may be my unnie but I about to kick her ass.” Seungmin cheered and I waved to him before handing the mic back to the man. “Okay these ladies are each going to pick a song and the best performance based on the crowd’s reaction wins!” The crowd cheers and my eyes light up. All those nights dancing in my living room with Seungmin or my roommate would finally pay off.

“What is your song choice, Jin Ae?” She thinks about it and then finally says. “I want to do Devil by CLC!” The crowd cheers and pulls out their phones once more as the MC motions me off the stage so she can perform. Seungmin latches on to me immediately. The music starts and Seungmin turns to me with a big smile and says, “Y/n you’ve got this in the bag.” I grin and turn back to watching her performance. She doesn’t do terribly. She only forgets a couple moves but makes up for it by jumping around and winking at the judges. She finishes and the crowd claps and cheers. Seungmin kisses my cheek and then sends me back up on stage. 

“How about that guys? What about you? You think you can do better than that?”

“Oh for sure. My husband would be disappointed in me if this is the challenge I failed at.” 

“So, what song are you picking?”

“Um...Let’s do Lip & Hip by HyunA.” 

The crowd cheers and the MC goes over to the stereos to queue up the song. The familiar tune comes on and I roll my hips like in the video and I hear the crowd go crazy. I just let my body do what it remembers and I focus on what Seungmin told me was the most important thing in a performance. Charisma. 

I just channeled being Queen HyunA and strutted across that stage and danced like I was one of her back up dancers. I rapped along to the song and made sure to hit every beat. As the chorus hit I dropped and danced along. The crowd went crazy and I saw Seungmin cheering like crazy with wide eyes. 

For the second chorus I didn’t have a partner so I just free styled and had fun with it. Seungmin cheered me on and filmed me on his phone. God, if only HyunA could see me fucking slaying this song. The last note played and I posed and smiled. The crowd cheered and Jin Ae joined me on stage a sway in her step. 

“Wow! What a performance! Who votes for Jin Ae?” The MC takes Jin Ae’s hand and the crowd cheers making her grin and do that fake humility thing everyone hates. “Who thinks Y/n did the best?” He takes my hand and the crowd erupts in noise. Everyone is screaming and cheering for me and I can’t help but laugh and blush. “It’s pretty clear who the winner of this challenge is. Congratulations, Kim Y/n you and your husband have a guaranteed spot in the next challenge!” I cheer and Seungmin runs up on stage and spins me around before pressing his lips to mine. 

I was too excited to even think about the fact that I kissed him back without hesitation. Everyone cheered and we moved on with the competition. Several challenges later it is just down to us and the mother fucking fake ass Kwons. The sun is setting and we have spent the entire day trying to prove that we are in fact the ultimate couple. How ironic.

The last challenge was called “How Well Do You Know Your Partner.” We went head to head answering questions about each other for points. They were ruthless. But we wanted it so bad. It was down to the final question. “Y/n. You are tied with the Kwons. If you get this question right, you and Seungmin win.”

I nodded clutching the whiteboard in my hands. Seungmin rested his hand on my knee next to me. A warm wind blew across the stage and the waves good be heard over the music they were playing.

“Y/n...What did Seungmin want to be as a kid?” 

“Oh I know this.” Seungmin laughed at me and wrote his answer on his whiteboard. “Y/n, what is your answer?” I flipped my board and said, “Seungmin wanted to be a professional baseball player. A pitcher if you want to be specific.”  The MC turns to Seungmin who flips his board to reveal his answer. 

“WOW! That is correct! Congratulations, Kim Seungmin and Kim Y/n! You are the best couple at Jeju Island’s Luxury Resort!” They give us weird graphic tees and a huge gift certificate. At the corner of my eye I see Jin Ae glaring over at the two of us as the rest of the crowd cheers. “Congratulations again! Now we have bonfire party for everyone on the beach so go have fun!” Everyone heads over to the beach and starts swimming and partying as the sun goes down. 

Seungmin and I wander off as the night goes on, beers in hand as we walk down the shoreline, firelight fading in the distance. “You know what I just realized?” He shook his head and took a swig from his bottle. “I haven’t checked my phone all day. I had so much fun just hanging out with you.” He laughed and slung an arm around my shoulder.

“Well, we are still trending if you were wondering.” I reached into his pocket and grabbed his phone. “Why do guys’ swim trunks have pockets? That is so unfair.” Seungmin scoffed and looked at me as I put in his passcode. “Are you saying you could fit pockets in that tiny thing you’re wearing?” 

“That is irrelevant I want pockets.”

He laughed and looked up at the night sky while I scrolled through Twitter. He was right, we were still trending. STAY and other fans were going crazy over the photos. Apparently a couple people from the crowd had posted the video of me winning the contest with Seungmin. I laughed and read a tweet a loud to Seungmin.

“Seungmin’s girl is a boss ass bitch look at her dancing to HyunA! JYP cast her NOW!” Seungmin laughed and turned to me, stopping our little stroll. “I’m tired, you wanna sit?” Nodding, I kept looking at the responses on Twitter. Seungmin sat next to me his hair blowing softly in the wind. I was very aware of him watching me and laughing at me reactions to the posts. 

My brows furrow as I see a post from JYP Entertainment’s official page. I clicked on the post and read the statement.

Hello, this is JYP Entertainment. 

We would like to address the rumors about one of our idols, Kim Seungmin from Stray Kids. We appreciate your patience and hope you will continue to support Seungmin and his members. Yes, Kim Seungmin is in a relationship. He is not married to the person shown in the photos taken by Dispatch, though. 

We have been in contact with him while he is on his break. He has addressed this personally and would like to clarify that it is not a wedding ring, but a promise ring he gave as a gift. At this time we cannot release the name of the woman Kim Seungmin is seeing but we hope you can support Seungmin and his love for her.

“Seungmin, what is this?” He gently takes his phone back from me before reading the post. “It’s the statement addressing the rumors. Why?” Fully turning to Seungmin, I tried to read his expression in the dark. “Why? It says were dating. This could destroy your image! You could lose fans.”

He smirked and looked me up and down. “You haven’t said no.”

“What?”

“You haven’t said we aren’t dating.”

Blinking a few times, I just stared at him in the dark. Did he just say what I think he said? Did Seungmin....my best friend really just say that. That cocky little shit. He laughed at me and grabbed my hands, still holding the phone. “Seungmin, you prick! Is this your way of asking me out?” I said smacking his shoulder.

“You have to do it properly, you jerk!”

Laughing, he took his phone and slipped it back in his pocket. Giving me that signature smile of his that drove thousands of girls wild, including me, he took my hands in his and looked me in the eye. 

“Hey, Y/n L/n, will you go out with me?” 

“No.” 

“What?”

“Sorry I was just in it for the discount.”

Seungmin stared at me. I saw real disappointment flash across his face and he started to let go of my hands. “I’m just kidding! Of course!” Seungmin let out the biggest sigh his hands covering his face. “Y/n!” He yelled falling on his back. “That was so cruel!” I couldn’t help but laugh and lean over him to see the look on his face. He moved his hands and looked up at me with a smile on his lips. 

Reaching up he pulled me down to his lips. Seungmin smiled against my lips before he pulled away looking up at me. “Does this mean I can give you name to the press?” He asked, pushing a piece of hair away from my face.  “Only if you take me to the next HyunA concert and I get to cuddle with you in bed tonight.”

“I guess to the first one and the second one is a definite. Duh.” Laughing, I leaned down and pressed another kiss to his lips. “Now we can really kick the Kwons’ ass in couple world.” Seungmin played with my fingers and chuckled. “Didn’t we do that just now?” “Yeah, well that didn’t count.”

“Oh, really?”

“Yeah, you better take us back for Valentine’s Day so we can beat Jin Ae and Si Hyun to the ground.”

“Not cause you want to spend time with me?”

“.....yeah...that too!”

Hope you all enjoyed! I apologize if there were spelling errors!

Requests are open!

Masterlist

[laruna]

— interloper.

characters. lim yuri, min yoongi, kim namjoon.

word count. 21.1k

genre. angst, fluff, friendship, romance, slow burn

warnings. underage drinking, hospitals, car accidents, mentions of family issues

summary. when yoongi feels like an interloper, yuri reminds him that he belongs.

November 7, 2011. Big Hit Entertainment Building, Seoul.

While Namjoon signed his contract until earlier that year, he still had to wait until the dorms were built to move in. Yuri gave Hitman Bang an earful when she found out he had signed him as a trainee when the company didn’t even have fucking dorms yet, but Namjoon fully assured her that it was okay and quelled her rage long enough to stop her from biting the poor old man’s head off.

But it all worked out eventually. Namjoon moved in when the dorms were built back in August, and without the awkwardness that parental presence at his house entailed, Yuri invited herself over as often as possible, practically making the dorms her second home. 

It’s almost a kind of domestic bliss, the way her and Namjoon lived before, cooking for each other and cleaning up the shitty company building until they get so tired they fall asleep on the floor. Sometimes, if she’s really lucky, he’ll offer to let her share his bed. You know, since all the empty beds are going to be occupied by other trainees eventually, and it’d be rude to give someone a used bed, right? Of course.

It’s a Monday when they go to the dorm and actually find the bed across from Namjoon’s occupied.

“...hi.”

The new trainee’s name is Min Yoongi. He’s only a year Namjoon’s senior, but despite the closeness in age, he doesn’t seem willing to bond with them at all. If anything, he barely talks to either of them. According to Hitman Bang, Yoongi is from Daegu, and the only speaks so little because he’s still trying to get used to Seoul’s dialect and is embarrassed that his satoori keeps slipping out.

Yoongi only talks when necessary, like a coworker. They spend the first week or so not talking about anything but work—music, in their case—but even that they can’t be friendly about. Despite their similar interest in hip-hop, Yoongi and Namjoon have very different approaches to rap music. To music in general, really.

Yuri can’t help but feel as if Yoongi has kind of an edge over them. On top of being a year older, he’s also both a producer and a rapper. Yuri is only the former and Namjoon is only the latter, so it’s like he’s got the force of them both combined. She can’t help but feel a little bit small, next to him. 

When they argue about something in the studio, he tends to use this as leverage, telling them to just listen to him because he knows better about this kind of thing. That escalates into arguing, which usually consists of Namjoon and Yoongi yelling at each other while Yuri desperately tries to mediate the situation. The current tally she’s been keeping in her journal shows that Namjoon having won two arguments, Yoongi having won six, and Yuri having successfully distracted them from finishing eleven. She likes to believe that means she’s winning.

Hitman Bang begs to disagree.

He finds out about it one day when he comes to visit her when she’s alone in the studio. The old man never knocks before entering, Yuri notes the invasion of privacy with annoyance. Even so, he kicks it up a notch by glancing over at the journal she’s left open on the corner of her desk. He laughs when he sees the page headed argument wins, pointing to the to the tallies by her name.

“I’m not surprised you’re in the lead,” he laughs. “You’re a menace.” She cringes when she remembers his first impression of her. She wasn’t exactly… tactful about it, but it got the point across well enough. Now that he’s her boss, though, she worries it’ll give him more reason to check up on her, and she would rather selfishly indulge in having some alone time with Namjoon.

“I’m not!” she defends herself, flustered. “I just know better than to waste my time arguing with boys. My points are for when I stop them from arguing, okay? Not having to hear them try to bite each other’s heads off is a win for me.”

“Hm.” He purses his lips at that, regarding her with a look she can’t quite read. She hates how unreadable he is. Her instincts have rarely failed her, but the old man is one of the few people whose energy has yet to come to her.

“Don’t be afraid of fighting,” he tells her after a bout of silence. “They should be able to fight if they’re angry. You should let them fight, let them yell if they’re angry. Even fist fights are fine. It’s okay to fight. Fearing fights only makes conflicts grow bigger.” Yuri shifts uneasily in her seat.

“I don’t like fighting. I don’t like yelling. I don’t like fists,” she says. “I get enough of that at home.” She doesn’t mean for it to slip out, doesn’t even realize that it does until the old man makes that face.

“Oh, Yuri.” He says it more sincerely than she’s ever heard from anyone at the dad age.

“Oh my God, no,” her voice cracks as she speaks. “We’re not doing that. We’re not having, like, a moment. I’m not emotionally prepared for that. I’ll cry and I’ll hate you.” He just nods at that, before awkwardly clapping a hand down onto her shoulder.

“Just remember that you can’t solve everything between them,” he says. “Let them resolve some of that on their own. You won’t be around to resolve things forever.” It feels like a jinx, the way he says it, but she still nods along.

“Okay,” she says. Sounds like simple enough advice to follow.

“And try to befriend Yoongi, okay?” he adds. She wrinkles her nose. That one seems a little harder.

“Okay,” she says anyways. She’ll definitely try.

Namjoon wrinkles his nose when Yuri proposes inviting Yoongi to the Lim household.

“He doesn’t really know anyone else,” Namjoon rationalizes. “Wouldn’t it be a bit awkward for him?”

“That’s the point, dummy,” she says, “I think it’d help him learn to get along with everyone, is all. Including us, hopefully. I don’t know.” Namjoon sighs, if only because she’s been getting harder and harder to say no to these days. He’s not sure why.

“Alright,” he agrees.

Unexpectedly, it’s significantly harder to get Yoongi to agree.

“I barely know you guys,” he deadpans, and Yuri winces. The I told you so look that Namjoon shoots her doesn’t help, and only reminds her of how much she’s always struggled with making friends. 

Hoping to spare her pride, she persists. This is the only opportunity she has to have everybody over in a while—she doesn’t know the next time her father’s going to be working overtime and they’ll have the house to themselves. Knowing him, the old man would probably bite her and Kyunghee’s head off if he came home from work and saw everybody over on a daily basis.

“You can,” she offers softly. “Get to know us, I mean. Please?” 

Yoongi only raises a brow, seemingly unconvinced.

“We have alcohol?” she offers, but the inflection makes it sound more like a question. Namjoon smacks her arm at that, only for her to shoot him a look that says, What? It’s true! Awkwardly, she adds, “Also, um, free food.”

And that’s enough to convince him, apparently.

Yoongi looks starstruck when he first enters the Lim household, suddenly feeling very small. Or at the very least, smaller than usual. He was easily the shortest of the company’s trainees, second-shortest of everybody in the building, towering over only the perpetually tiny Lim Yuri. He almost has a heart attack when said tiny girl takes his shoes from him to put in the garage. It’s her big-ass house, after all. Shit, just being here makes him feel like he should be the one serving her.

Yuri and Kyunghee explain that their father is out working overtime and... doesn’t really say anything about their mom, but the others know better than to bring something like that up unprompted, so they don’t.

The alcohol is present as promised, provided by none other than resident adult, Ikje. Was it illegal? Yes. Was that going to stop any of them? In the words of Donghyuk, ‘hell nah!’

What terrible, terrible influences, Yuri thinks.

She’s never had alcohol before, nor does she plan to have it anytime soon. Not for any legal or moral reasons, mind you—with the amount of alcohol so freely available in her household, she could probably sneak as much as she wanted whenever she wanted. Personally, she just thinks it smells weird and makes her dad act like a crazy person.

She’s only fifteen, but they make it seem fun. They take the thin metal tail of the soju bottle’s metal cap and tighten it into a straight, brittle line. Everyone takes turns flicking it until Kyunghee’s fingers finally break it off. He makes a face when Ikje fills the shot glass in front of him with soju as punishment.  

Yuri doesn’t miss the way he side-eyes Donghyuk before downing it, like he’s trying to make sure that he’s watching. Like he’s looking for approval. She wonders if that’s how she looks at Namjoon. She wonders if that’s how Namjoon looks at her. He’s on her brain too often, these days. Namjoon, Namjoon, Namjoon. 

They’ve gotten even closer since they made up, and she’s learned a lot more about him since then. He’s still the stickler that refuses to drink in public where he could get in trouble, but he still still laughs and encourages the others’ antics in private, maybe even allowing himself a shot or two. He is also more than the sexless smart dude that she stereotyped him as when they first met, as she has come to learn through his awful, nasty jokes. 

She really was right when she said that he had a whole solar system in his head. Whenever he seems like he could fit into some mold, he immediately proves her wrong. Kim Namjoon is everything.

In contrast, Min Yoongi isn’t much to her at the moment.

When she turns over to look at him, she immediately feels bad for not really paying attention to him the whole night, especially when she was the one to have invited him. The only reason she’s even paying him any mind right now is because he’s just situated himself next to her at the table, as a now drunken Ikje has thoughtlessly occupied his previously-claimed spot. 

Yuri isn’t sure if it’s because he’s not comfortable enough to drink around them yet, but she finds the way he innocently refuses to drink is a little endearing in the same way she found endearing when Namjoon refused to do so back in Hongdae. Instead, Yoongi opts to eat his entire body weight in meat, and is on what she believes is his third plate of fried chicken wings. Respect.

It’s a nice environment, and Yuri really is still adjusting to the fact that this is actually her life. She has a solid friend group that eats and drinks and laughs and plays stupid games together in her house. It’s relaxing. It’s safe. It feels like home. They feel like home.

It’s when they hear her dad’s car pull into the driveway a couple hours earlier than anticipated that makes Yuri remember, oh yeah, home kind of sucks.

In the next few minutes, their living room descends into absolute chaos. Kyunghee moves to swipe all the food and shot glasses off the table and into the sink, Yuri helps load them all into the dishwasher, Ikje is scooping all the soju bottles up into his arms, and everyone else is drunkenly scrambling out the back door. Once they’re all collected, Ikje climbs out the back window, for whatever reason. She blames it on his batshit drunkenness.

Everything is in the clear by the time their dad steps in. The entire scene is inconspicuous enough, Kyunghee passing Yuri plates from the sink to load into the dishwasher like they just ate a nice dinner. They even go so far as to force awkward smiles for their father, but he simply nods at them in acknowledgement before rubbing at his temples and makes his way upstairs, clearly still stressed from work. Kyunghee breathes a sigh of relief when he hears his father’s bedroom door click shut.

“We’re good,” he says, clasping a comforting hand on his sister’s shoulder. “Go lock the back. I’ll finish up the dishes.” Yuri nods, before making her merry way off to follow her brother’s orders. She nearly jumps out of her skin when she’s about to lock the back door and sees a male figure standing ominously in the shadows instead.

She turns on the back light, and lo and behold, there stands Min Yoongi, eating a fucking chicken wing on her back porch. And he has the audacity to look surprised, like she’s the one who shouldn’t be there on her own porch. Heaving a sigh, she steps outside, closing the door behind her as quietly as possible.

“What are you doing here?!” she whisper-yells. “Why didn’t you go with the others?!” It comes off as more aggressive than she intended, but the last thing she wants is for him to get caught and in trouble when she’s the one that invited him over in the first place.

“Namjoon went to sleep over at Donghyuk’s place,” he explains awkwardly. “Ikje went to sleep over at Hunchul’s place and, uh. I wasn’t invited to either. Ikje dropped me off here from the dorms, so… I don’t really know how to get back to the dorms from here.” 

Yuri heaves a sigh. She’s going to have to give everyone a stern talk about the importance of camaraderie and the no-man-left-behind policy. After shooting a quick text to her brother, she uses the house key hanging off of her lanyard to lock the back door.

“I know Seoul like the back of my hand,” she says. “C’mon. I’ll walk you back.” 

“I don’t know how I feel about you walking back home alone so late at night,” he says. “It doesn’t sound very safe for you.” His genuine worry makes her heart warm. Those unexpected moments of sweetness he has always throw her off. Not in a bad way, though. It’s nice.

Unfortunately, the rest of the walk is significantly less nice. They spend the first ten minutes arguing over whether or not it really is safe for her to be walking back home alone so late. He feels bad that she’s out because of him, but she insists that it’s fine as she’s done so many times before. 

“Taking the subway home and walking home are two very different things,” he admonishes her. She resists the urge to roll her eyes at his patronizing tone.

“Relaaaax. I’ve got pepper spray,” she justifies herself. “Also, I hold my keys between my fingers.” She even holds up her hands for emphasis.

“I’m sure you could give a good stabbing if you wanted to,” he snarks. He doubts the tiny girl before him is capable of causing any physical damage, even with a deadly weapon in hand.

“Are you making fun of me?” she whines, and he snorts, because it really should be obvious. “I’m just trying to make sure you get home safely, and this is the thanks I get?”

Yoongi stops in his tracks to think about it for a moment, cheeks flushing with embarrassment as he does so. She obviously means well, as annoying as she may be. She’s also his junior, and when he thinks about it, he’s just being mean to her for no good reason.

“Fine. I’m sorry for being an ass,” he relents with flushed cheeks, more for his conscience than anything else. “It’s just that—I just like being alone with my thoughts when I walk, that’s all. You’re not annoying.” 

Or at least, not that annoying, he doesn’t say.

“I know I can be annoying,” she says so matter-of-factly that it makes him feel even worse. “And my brother can be the same way. He likes just thinking, too, so I can just be quiet if that’s what you want. I just want you to get home alive, that’s all.” His eyes soften.

“I’ll be fine,” he assures her. “I can defend myself if I really need to. I was on my school basketball team, you know. Boxing, too.”

“With these noodles?” she says bluntly, reaching over and taking hold of his arm. “And how did you get into the basketball team? Aren’t basketball players supposed to be tall?”

“You don’t have any right to talk about height,” he says, staring down all 150 centimeters of her frame as he snatches his arm back from her. “And my arms are not noodles just because I’m not built like The Hulk.”

“We can’t all be Kim Namjoons, I guess. He’s got biceps for days.” Yoongi gives her an amused look at that, and she flushes uncharacteristically. “Sorry. That was weird. Just don’t—nevermind. I’ll stop talking now.”

“No, by all means, keep going,” he teases. “As long as you don’t mind me telling him about it later.” She gasps at that, smacking him in the arm.

“Oh, so now you want me to talk!” she huffs, smacking his arm. “You will be telling him no such thing, Min Yoongi! You don’t even talk to him about that kinda stuff, anyway!” He laughs as he jumps ahead to get away from her playful smacking, smiling so wide that Yuri can see his gums showing. They’re cute. She decides that she likes them.

“You really like him, don’t you? Namjoon?” he chuckles, far too blunt for her liking. It’s a special kind of adorable the way that she so visibly shrinks at his words, he thinks.

“We’re not dating, I, um—” she sputters. “Is it obvious? That I like him, I mean.”

“Relax,” he says. “It’s not. Really, I don’t think he knows. I don’t think anyone knows except Kyunghee, and I only know because of him.”

“My brother knows?”

“Yeah.”

“Fuck that guy.”

Yoongi laughs at her sudden vulgarity. She really got really blunt and fiery when she wasn’t thinking, even with her seniors like him. It makes things feel a little bit more comfortable.

“Relax,” he repeats. “I think he just knows you? Because he’s your brother, I mean. He was like, ‘I just have to tell someone and nobody talks to you so it’s okay.’ So I doubt he’s told anyone else.”

Yuri nods, inclined to agree. She’d never tell Namjoon about Kyunghee’s crush on Donghyuk, and she has enough trust in her brother to know that trust goes both ways. Still, she feels bad that the exclusion Yoongi goes through on the daily is so obvious, even to her socially-awkward brother. But she has her own relationships to worry about.

“Just don’t, like. I don’t know. Interfere in whatever is happening, okay?” she huffs. “You’re the only one who knows, as far as I know. I just… don’t try to plant any thoughts in his head, okay? I want whatever happens to happen naturally. Because he likes me for me, or something.”

“Spoken like a true romantic,” he says sarcastically.

“Oh, stop it,” she whines. Yoongi laughs.

“I won’t,” he assures her.

He doesn’t know when they started walking again, but it feels just a bit less awkward and stilted now. Yuri’s just a couple steps ahead of him, guiding the way. Wrinkling his brows, he stops dead in his tracks.

“This isn’t the right way,” he says. “You take a left here.”

“No?” she says. “The subway pickup is right here.”

“I’m not taking the subway, I’m walking, remember?” he says.

“What?!” she says. She didn’t mind the fifteen minute walk to the subway, but this was too much. “The whole way? The whole walk back to the dorms is like, an hour, Yoongi! Jesus, if I knew we were gonna be walking the whole way, I wouldn’t have come.”

“Well, you don’t have to walk me home if you didn’t want to,” he says. “You’re the one who offered.”

“I didn’t think you were a crazy person!” she huffs. “Why don’t you just take the subway?”

“I spent all my money on chipping in for dinner, how the hell am I gonna afford a subway ticket?” he snorts. “Look, I can walk however long it takes, but I can’t spawn food out of thin air like you guys can.” He tries to say it as casually as he can possibly manage, but the venom still leaks through. Her face visibly drops when he says it.

“Oh,” she says, her voice tiny. “I didn’t… sorry. I wasn’t thinking.”

“Stop that. You’re being weird,” Yoongi says. 

He hates this part. He hates the pity looks he gets from rich people like the Lims who have year-long subway passes their father bought—who, by the way, probably gets to sit pretty in a big office telling other people what to do while overworked laborers like his parents carry the South Korean economy on their backs.

But he digresses. He doubts she’s the kind of person who’d want to listen to his long-winded spiels on the economy or the government or the Gwangju democratization movement, anyway. Really, he doubts she’s type to need or think about funds at all.

Much to his surprise, she does.

“Okay, but like—just to make sure—money for that kinda stuff isn’t an issue for you guys, right?” she asks. “Like, Hitman Bang is feeding you guys?” There’s a level of threat to her voice that reminds him of the story Bang PD told him when he first joined the company, of her marching into his office to make demands for her friend’s safety. Loathe as he is to admit it, the image of it is equal parts genuine and endearing of her.

And maybe that’s why he feels the urge to spill his guts to her so suddenly, then. Maybe it’s also the warm, almost disarming energy in the way she talks to him now that they’re finally speaking one-on-one, despite his previous assumptions. Maybe it’s how innocent her eyes look when they shine under the Seoul streetlights.

“You know, I… I used to make beats out of a studio in Daegu,” he confesses. “Most of the time, I’d get scammed out of them, though. The guys who went in and out of the building would rip my shit off or use them but never pay me back, so like… I didn’t make much. But I stayed there because I still wanted to make music and using the studio was cheaper than buying equipment on my own.”

“Oh,” is all she says, pressing her lips together in a thin line. It’s definitely not the kind of thing Yuri and her brother ever had to worry about, seeing as they were so well-off. Hell, they were giving away the shit that Yoongi was slaving his life away over for free.

“So I couldn’t really pay for food or transport that easy, you know?” he continues, against his better judgement. It’s the first time he’s ever talked to anyone about this, and fuck, it feels so good. He can’t stop himself. “In front of the studio, there was this Chinese restaurant that sold jajangmyeon for 2000 won, and down the street, there was this place that sold janchi guksu for 1000 won, and like… I don’t know. It sounds stupid, but I had to worry about that shit everyday. If I ate the janchi guksu, I’d be able to get the bus and if I ate the jajangmyeon, I’d have to walk 2 hours to get home. So. I don’t know. I’m just stuck thinking like that, I guess. I know it’s not like… a thing anymore, but I feel using public transport still makes me feel guilty.”

“Mm.”

“Sounds stupid when I say it out loud.”

“It doesn’t,” she reassures him. “I’ve just, um, never had to think about stuff like that. I’m sorry you had to, though. It sounds shitty.”

“Not your fault. Don’t apologize for something like that.”

“Okay,” she says, smiling up at him. “Thank you for telling me, Yoongi.”

“Uh. Yeah. No prob,” he says, cheeks flushing in embarrassment. His flush only darkens when she shoves a couple of won in his hand, and he realizes she’s been slowly guiding him in the direction of the subway station this whole time. “Wait, h-hey—”

“No, no, I don’t need it,” she says when he shoves the money back into her hands.

“But—”

“It’s fine,” she assures him, soft smile still gracing her features. “I’d rather not walk all the way back to the dorms. Just take it, you’ll be doing me a favor. You don’t have to pay me back or anything, either. It’s not that much, anyway.”

Yoongi frowns. As much as he wants to argue with her, he’s tired enough as it is, and he has no doubt she’d stay up all night just to stay here and debate this with him. 

“Okay,” he relents. She grins in what he believes to be triumph before gently taking hold of his hand in one of hers and placing the money back into his grasp with the other. She waits outside for the subway take off, like she’s afraid he won’t do as she says unless she sees it happen. When the train lurches to a start, he watches her figure retreat through the glass windows. 

There’s a stark contrast to her soft hands and the fussy way she thrust her money at him, he thinks. 

Lim Yuri is a strange, strange girl.

Namjoon jumps in his seat, startled when Yuri suddenly marches in, plops in to the studio chair next to him, and looks up at him with crossed arms and a very non-threatening scowl on her face.

“I have a bone to pick,” she says, and his brain immediately kicks it into panic mode as he rakes through his mind for anything that he could have possibly done to upset her within the past week.

Namjoon likes to consider himself a considerate person who wouldn’t want to upset anyone, but for some reason this feels different from pure consideration. At the beginning, Yuri was just Kyunghee’s kid sister who happened to help make good music. These days, though, she feels more like a peer than a junior, more like a friend than a dongsaeng. 

For whatever reason he can’t quite pinpoint, her opinion of him has become quite important to him as of late. The idea that he’s done something she disapproves of makes his hands sweat. Even so, he manages to keep his composure, nodding as calmly as he can manage.

“What’s up?” he asks, cringing at the way his voice cracks. The way she sighs as she scoots her chair closer to his amps his anxiety up to eleven.

“You guys need to be nicer to Yoongi,” she says sternly, “You all really excluded him last week. He said you guys all went to each other’s houses after bouncing out last week and he just had nowhere to go. Why didn’t you guys plan for that or something?” Namjoon droops inward, like a kicked dog.

“Sorry,” he says, face hot with embarrassment despite immediately trying to justify himself. “It’s just—it was just kind of weird because nobody is really close to him or anything. The only person he really talks to is Ikje, and they’re not really even friends. We didn’t know how to broach the subject with him, or if he already had plans or anything, you know?”

“You could’ve asked,” she huffs, “I mean, I walked him to the subway station so he could ride back to the dorms, so everything turned out okay in the end. But—”

“By yourself?” Namjoon cuts her off. “That’s dangerous. Did you walk back by yourself, too? That late at night? Something could’ve happened. Why didn’t you ask Kyunghee to do it?” Yuri shakes her head fondly at his worrywart antics, and he sighs in relief when she smiles. It’s a warm reminder that she’s really not that mad at him.

“You sound like my dad,” she giggles, gently shoving at his arm. “Stop that. I’m trying to be mad at you.” He can’t resist cracking a smile back at her.

“Sorry.” He doesn’t sound apologetic.

“Anyway,” she continues, her tone considerably lighter, “Yoongi and I talked a bit when we were walking to the station, and like… I don’t know. It just made me realize how excluded he really was from everyone else. So can you just talk to him more, or something? And please try to get the other guys to talk to him more, too?”

“Yeah, of course. But for future reference, you could’ve called for a group discussion for this,” he chides, playfully adding, “I thought you were just mad at me for something. I really thought I did something wrong and didn’t know about it. You gave me a heart attack for no reason.”

“Sorry.” She laughs shyly now that it’s her turn to apologize. “It’s just—you’re the only one who really listens to me, you know? I feel like the rest of the guys kinda just see me as a little kid. I mean, I get it, because Kyunghee is my brother and Donghyuk is his best friend and Ikje is old, but like. I don’t know. I don’t feel like they respect me like you do, sometimes.”

Everything she says comes out in that nervous, rambly tone that she uses when she wants to keep things light, no matter how serious it actually is to her. Namjoon frowns.

“Sorry,” he says again. She shrugs.

“Not your fault,” she says, “I think things are gonna get better with Yoongi around, anyway.” Namjoon raises a curious brow at that.

“Oh?” is all he says. Yuri nods, like that’s an answer.

“He’s cool,” she says. “He was a little rude at first, but he got really shy and apologized when I pointed it out. Can you believe it? A man! Apologizing! Men never apologize, Namjoon!”

“I resent that statement.”

“Shut up, man,” she teases. They both chuckle at that. “Anyway. I think that you should try to talk to him, if anyone. I can’t tell you everything he said ‘cause that’s his business, but I will say that you’re both really passionate about music, so I think you’d get along really well.” Namjoon wrinkles his nose at her idealism, not quite sure about that one. 

He supposes she’s sort of right, seeing as music is probably the only thing he and Yoongi can agree on. Even saying that is a stretch, because their very different methods of music-making lent cause to many studio debates. It’d probably be more accurate to say that music was the one field in which they respected each other enough to discuss things amicably. If the conversation wasn’t about music, they spent more time throwing passive-aggressive one-liners at one another than talking about anything else.

“I don’t know about that,” is all he decides to say.

“It can’t be that hard,” she says, pouting. “Yoongi is a nice person. And even if there are things you don’t agree on, you can’t deny that he works really hard. So at least try? For me?”

“That walk to the subway really changed you, huh?” he jokes. He’s expecting her to laugh or roll her eyes or smack him or something, but she nods sheepishly instead.

“He gives me good vibes,” she says like it’s an explanation.

“There you go with your vibes again,” he says. It comes out a bit more passive-aggressive than he’d have liked. 

The atmosphere is a bit too fragile for him to start another debate, but it bothered him that she could dislike people like Hunchul because of the bad vibes she got from him, yet expect everyone to drop everything and befriend Yoongi because he gave her good vibes. She says that it’s just her intuition, but he thinks it’s just an excuse. Even without him saying all this, though, she rolls her eyes when she picks up on his implications.

“Yoongi really is a good guy, okay? I can feel it,” she tries convincing him. “I actually saw him smile, Namjoon. And he never smiles! And it was all cute and gummy! I know he comes off as kinda cold, but he just seems soft underneath it all. I just think he’s a person who’s been through a lot.”

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you have a crush on him,” he teases. For whatever, the prospect of that makes him more uneasy than it should.

“I’m being serious!” she whines, smacking his arm. “I’m not asking you to stop fighting or arguing with him or whatever if that’s what you want. Just… try to make up after you fight.”

“It’s just weird,” Namjoon admits sheepishly. “It’s not like I want to fight, so I don’t. Especially if it’s over something stupid. I just try to ignore the little things. But then all those little things pile up into one big pile of resentment until I get mad at him for something stupid and he thinks I’m crazy and I’m still mad at him and it’s weird.”

It sounds stupid when he says it out loud, but the way that Yuri purses her lips and nods in understanding as he speaks makes him feel a little less crazy about it all. She’s always been someone that people just feel comfortable around, and Namjoon himself is no exception.

“It’s not weird,” she reassures him. “Fighting isn’t bad, I don’t think. I don’t love it, obviously, but Hitman Bang said the other week that being afraid of fights is only gonna let stuff like that and make the conflict big and worse. All I’m asking is that you at least talk to Yoongi.”

She looks up at him with those doe eyes when she says it, big and hopeful and pleading, and he can’t possibly bring himself to say no.

“Alright.”

Ever since his talk with Yuri last week, Yoongi has been finding instant ramyeon cups in his desk.

At first, he thinks it’s a one-off thing, maybe Yuri’s apology for saying something she thought was insensitive because he made her feel bad and she needs to soothe her conscience. But once he’s run out, they quickly get restocked when he’s not looking, and he has to admit that it warms his heart. He didn’t expect his words to affect her nearly as much as they currently seem to. 

He appreciates that she doesn’t give him the noodles directly or even say anything about it. It lessens the guilt he already feels from receiving free food from his junior. Yuri doesn’t ask for any thanks or even any acknowledgement, not breaching the topic beyond asking if he’s eaten yet.

Lim Yuri, he’s come to find, is not as bad as he thought. A little naive, to be sure, but nothing like the selfish, spoiled little girl he’d conjured up in his head when he first met her. He feels bad for the image he’d once conjured up of her in his head, the little brat surrounded by shiny, foreign production equipment who was no doubt born with a silver spoon in her mouth.

Lim Yuri is kind and generous and even thoughtful when she wants to be. She feels too hard, so sentimental that she cries when a beat she’d been working on for the past six hours fails to save before her computer shuts off. He tells her she can just remake it, but she sniffles and shakes her head, saying that it just won’t be the same as the last one.

“That beat was, like, my baby, Yoongi,” she explained to him that day. “I can’t just replace it, you know?” He doesn’t quite get what she’s getting at, but nods anyways. Over time, he comes to find those weird antics of hers he once found annoying to be kind of… cute? Even if he doesn’t get them. Even now, as she whines cutely, all he can offer is a couple of comforting pats atop her head. He wishes he had more to give.

Maybe that’s the worst part of being the poor kid, he decides. Everyone is impossibly kind here, and he’s probably making an ass of himself by meeting that kindness with a cold distrust. So he brushes off their niceties knowing that he has nothing to give back in return, and thus is seen in a doubly awful light. He tries to comfort himself with the knowledge that at the very least, that prickly demeanor means that nobody is expecting anything of him.

After all, Yoongi doesn’t do well with expectations. He’s not the son his parents expected him to be, who’d get good grades and go to university in pursuit of a business degree or something before slaving away at a desk from nine-to-five everyday for the rest of his life, nor does he want to be. 

But he has to be something.

Hence why he’s in need of a job. Not one of the office jobs that his parents suggested, mind you, but a simple part-time job to hold him over on top of being a trainee so that he doesn’t feel like a useless moocher. Thankfully, he’s already got it in the bag. As expected, they can’t just hire anyone, so they’ve just got one little test for him before they can officially put him on the employee roster.

What he doesn’t expect is to run into Lim Yuri, numerous plastic bags in hand.

“Yoongi!” she shouts when they make eye contact, running up to him excitedly. He’s never seen anybody that excited to see him, even back home in Daegu. It makes his heart feel a little funny.

“Hey,” he says, “I didn’t expect to run into you. What are you doing? Are you alone?” As annoyed as she wants to be, she can’t help but be endeared by the concern she shows her, the same kind that he showed her back when she walked him to the subway.

“Well… yes. But it’s fine. I’m not a kid, you know? Don’t worry about me so much! Really, you just sound like a grandpa when you talk like that,” she teases, “I bet one of these days I’ll come into your studio and you’ll be sprawled over the floor because your back gave out or something.”

“Hey, Hitman Bang says I’m an old soul,” he jokes, a wry grin on his face. She rolls her eyes.

“That’s just a polite way of saying he’s surprised that you’re this young and already depressed,” she snorts, but he can tell that there’s no malice to it. Still, it’s so unexpected of her that he has to do a double-take before bursting out laughing. 

He doesn’t even notice the pedestrian light flash on until she links her pinky with his and walks him across the street. Surprising even himself, he can’t bring himself to really mind that much. In due time, he’s found himself growing adjusted to her touchiness. It’s kind of nice, when he thinks about it. It makes him feel a little less like an interloper. Makes him feel like he belongs where he is.

“It’s fine!” she assures him. He doesn’t look very convinced. “We’re in broad daylight, Yoongi. I just finished grocery shopping.” She lifts her bag-lined arms up for emphasis. “It was my turn this week. Kyunghee and I take turns with groceries since our mom isn’t around.”

“Makes sense,” Yoongi says. Now that she mentions it, they’d only ever mentioned having to avoid their father whenever everyone came over to the Lim household. He’d always just assumed their mom was out or at work or upstairs—never that she wasn’t around at all. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t curious about it, but it seems too heavy of a topic to pry about right now, especially when he already has somewhere to be.

“What about you?” she asks. “Where’d you come from? Or are you headed somewhere?”

“Work,” he explains. “Sort of. It’s just a part-time job. I haven’t technically started yet, but I’m going to. It’s a delivery thing, so I’m just going to test the delivery bike so that they can see that I actually know how to drive and won’t ride around like a crazy person.”

“Like a motorcycle?” she asks enthusiastically. “A real one? You know how to ride a motorcycle?”

“Yeah,” he says as nonchalantly as he can manage, secretly revelling in how much it impresses her. It’s cute of her, he thinks, the way she’s so wowed by the little things. It’s like every conversation with her is an ego boost.

“Can I come watch?” she asks hopefully, eyes glittering with excitement.

And how could he possibly say no to that?

It’s a little silly, how bouncing-off-the-walls excited she is when they get there. Even the old couple who own the restaurant he’s supposed to be delivering for are enamored with her, wrapped up in conversation about meat buns or something. She really is genuinely sweet with them, so much so that they barely take notice when Yoongi mounts the bike they’ve prepared for him to test-ride.

It’s an older Yamaha model, the ‘YD250’ on the scratched up by what he assumes can only be years of wear and tear. He thinks nothing of it as he revs the bike up to life, but before he can take off and begin driving, he’s cut off by Yuri’s voice.

“Hey, hey, hey!” she calls out. “You should be wearing a helmet!”

“It’s in the box,” the old man explains. 

“I’ve ridden without one before,” Yoongi mutters, resisting to roll his eyes at their safety concerns. And Yuri calls him the old person. Even so, he opens the delivery bike box mounted on the back of and reaches in to grab hold of the big black helmet so that he can put it on. “Happy?”

“Very,” Yuri says, sounding far too pleased for his liking. The old woman chuckles at their banter.

Yoongi takes off in a flash after that, quickly riding around the busiest blocks and most bustling streets a couple times, the image of Yuri’s enthusiastic eyes as he rode away on the motorcycle burned into his mind. It’s nice to be admired so deeply. It’s the only reason he’s still on board with the whole idol thing, after all. He doesn’t want to rely on his parents and their money for everything, though, so right now he just needs this job to help support his training. 

He’s officially got the job, they inform him when he gets back. They also tell him that Yuri has been vouching for him in the mere minutes that he was gone. She ducks her head to hide her blush at that, and he finds her shyness in the moment impossibly cute. It only intensifies when she pipes up.

“Can I join you? On the back, I mean?” she asks bashfully. “I’ve, um, never ridden one before. I just think it’d be neat. You can just take me home, if you want. It’s not super far from here, I think.” In any other circumstance, he’d say yes in a heartbeat, but she’s asking him this question in front of his employers. Thankfully, the two nod when he looks to them for permission.

He can’t but feel kind of mortified by the way the old couple coos at him when he takes off his helmet off and places it atop her head, taking extra care to fasten the buckle tight. 

“Cute,” she says. “But what about you?” It’s the little things like these that remind her how thoughtful and softhearted he is, even if he doesn’t really care to show it.

“I’ll be fine. I’ve ridden without one before,” he echoes his earlier sentiment. She doesn’t look convinced, but the old man speaks up before she can get a word in.

“Get your girlfriend home safe, alright?” he says, clapping his hand down onto Yoongi’s shoulder a little too forcefully. Both him and Yuri send each other an embarrassed glance at his assumption, but neither can find it in them to correct the old man.

“Yes, sir,” is all Yoongi says.

The ride back home is a lot less nerve-wracking than he had expected. Yuri’s soft from head to toe, he notes, like a little human pillow. Against his expectations, the feeling of her form pressed against his back throughout their ride in the city feels more comforting than restricting. So much so that he actually feels a little bit disappointed when they get to her house and she has to let go.

He helps her unload her groceries from the delivery bike box, watching as she takes every bag but one. He reaches in to grab it until he sees what’s inside—ramyeon. The exact kind that spawns in his desk every week. At that moment, he realizes that she left that specific bag inside on purpose.

“This is for me,” he says. It's a statement, not a question.

“Mmhm,” she replies. “It’s my favorite brand. It’s got that little egg brick in there, you know the one? These things are mostly carbs, so I think it’s a good source of protein. Good for building muscles.” He frowns, baffled as to how she can be so nonchalant about all this.

“You don’t have to keep doing this, you know,” he says. “I have a job now, so I can buy my own food if I’m ever craving anything beyond those cardboard chicken breasts Hitman Bang gives us.” Yuri giggles at that. “I’m serious. I’ve already gotta pay you back for the last couple of weeks. I’m not sure if my salary is gonna be able to keep up.”

“Hey,” she says gently, staring him down a bit more earnestly now. “You don’t have to pay me back for anything, okay? The ones I get for you are only, like, 1200 won per little cup.”

“Isn’t 1200 won kind of a lot?”

“It’s not,” she assures him. “It’s not that big of a deal. It’s fine. It’s really fine. It doesn’t hurt me at all. If it did, I wouldn’t keep doing it.” Yoongi pulls a face, not entirely convinced.

“You may not feel bad, but like—I feel bad.”

“Well you shouldn’t.”

“But I do,” he says. Yuri sighs.

“Yoongi—”

“It’s not just the ramyeon, you know?” he says, staring mindlessly at some spot on the ground. Anywhere but her face. It’s a daunting task when he speaks so earnestly. “It’s just—you do so much for everyone all the time. And I’m just—I don’t even talk to anybody.”

“Hey.” Yuri speaks softly, taking one of his hands between both of hers in what he thinks is an attempt to comfort him. Her hands are just as soft as they were that night by the subway, he muses. “You can’t blame all that on yourself, you know? I know the other guys aren’t the best at being friendly and inclusive and all that, but that’s not your fault. It’s more of a time thing.”

“A time thing?” he asks.

“We’ve all known each other for, like, two or three years before you came here,” she explains. “ So I think they’re just trying to get used to you? But they don’t dislike you! If anything, I’m sure they’ll like you soon. I mean, I already like you, so it shouldn’t be too hard for them to follow suit.”

“Okay,” he says, thinking nothing of the flush that spreads up to the tips of his ears.

Namjoon supposes that now is as good a time as any when Yoongi steps into his studio.

He doesn’t know why he’s so nervous. After all, Yuri points out, Yoongi is the one alone in Seoul with nobody to talk to. When she puts it like that, it makes them all sound like assholes. Maybe they are. But it’s fine, because Namjoon is finally going to be nice and converse with him about something not music-related. The bar is on the floor. All he needs to do is open his mouth and say something.

“We need to talk,” Namjoon says. He immediately knows he’s said the wrong thing when Yoongi’s eyes widen like saucers, anxiously backing up until his back hits the door like he’s been caught doing something he shouldn’t be. “Oh God, no, not like that. You’re okay. You’re not in trouble.”

“Oh. Alright,” Yoongi says, visibly relaxing.

“I just, um. I wanted to talk,” he repeats. “I feel like I’ve been… mean? But I’m not trying to be. It’s just that I’m supposed to be the leader, but you’re the hyung. “And you also produce a lot of our songs—which I’m really, really grateful for, of course. I just don’t know how to talk about things as a leader without seeming disrespectful. I try to keep my mouth shut about it, but I guess that’s how things like that build up, you know?”

“My mom gave birth to me,” Yoongi says, seemingly out of the blue, and Namjoon laughs. It’s that loud, booming laugh of his that always fills up the whole room.

“What—?!” he laughs incredulously.

“Let me finish,” Yoongi says, hopelessly fighting to the smile off of his face. “My mom gave birth to me. My mom is older to me, obviously, and she’s done a lot for me, too. And of course I’m grateful for that, but that doesn’t mean I won’t fight her on some things. Doesn’t mean I have to agree with everything she says, because I haven’t. Neither have you—if we did, neither of us would be here right now. We’d be like, I don’t know, doing cram school or preparing for university shit or something like that. I think I’d resent her if that’s what I was doing right now just because I wanted to please her. That’s why it’s okay to fight. If we don’t, then all that resentment just grows.” Namjoon smiles fondly at him.

“You really are an old man,” he chuckles, prompting Yoongi to raise a brow at him. “Hitman Bang said the same thing, you know? About fighting being good, since conflicts just get bigger if you don’t fight.”

“Well… he’s right.”

“Wiser words were never spoken,” Namjoon replies.

“So no more not-fighting?” Yoongi asks. It’s so ridiculous, the way he has to phrase it—but Namjoon nods, so he supposes that it gets the point across well enough. “We’ll try to resolve problems instead of avoiding them completely.”

“No more not-fighting,” he agrees. “Resolving things. Not avoiding them.” He holds out a pinky.

It’s a ridiculously silly sight, Yoongi thinks, the way Namjoon’s large hand offers out a pinky for what he thinks must be a pinky promise. Seeing someone as big as Namjoon do something so childish is unfairly endearing. He must’ve picked up from Yuri, he muses. Yoongi can’t help but laugh.

“Did you just giggle?”

“Huh?”

“That was kind of cute, hyung.” Yoongi flushes a dusky pink.

“…shut up.”

Yuri doesn’t come in late on Sundays anymore, Yoongi muses.

She always used to come in late on Sundays, which was a stark contrast to her appearances right after school on weekdays and her early morning entrances on Saturdays. He doesn’t know how he didn’t notice before, but he supposes it’s a good thing that he does now. It means that at the very least, they’re taking note of each other’s presence. 

Yoongi does think it’s weird, but for as curious as he is, he is not nosy enough to ask about it. Normally, it wouldn’t even cross his mind to do so, but with the talk he had with Hitman Bang last week about getting along better with everyone, he’s having second thoughts.

Yuri may not be a fellow trainee, but she’s still a member of their team. He only just started talking easily to Namjoon, so Yuri is easily the most comfortable person to talk to. After a rather heated internal battle, he gives in and brings it up to her.

“I’m glad you come in on Sundays, now,” he says, as nonchalantly as he can manage. “What cleared your schedule up?”

“Oh!” she says, pleasantly surprised that Yoongi is taking the first step in making conversation. “My mama worked as a vocal teacher before she divorced my dad and moved away, so my little brother Daniel and I would go over there to help her, especially with translating stuff since her Korean wasn’t very good. I used to go over to help the other lady who works there on Sundays since she’s nice and I liked singing!  But Daniel handles all that now, so I’m free to work here with you guys.”

That’s certainly a can of worms. He’s learned more about her and her home life from this single conversation than he did from the night he was over at her house, but he doesn’t want to make her uncomfortable by pressing further about the deep shit, so he keeps his digging as shallow as he can.

“You sing?” he says, and she flushes.

“Yes,” she admits. “But like. Not in front of other people. That’s scary.”

“Like stage fright?”

“Sort of,” she says. “It’s different. More like, scary in the sense that you have to share your art that you’ve poured all your heart and soul into for so long. Because then when people reject it or don’t like it, you feel like they don’t like you. On top of that, people also care about visuals and dancing and aegyo, and like… how am I supposed to fulfill all those categories?”

“I get that,” he says. He always knew that music would be a big part of his life, but he never imagined he’d be performing for other people. The thought of scrutiny had always made his stomach churn, but that’s basically all that idol life was. He’s not sure how he’ll handle it. “You don’t think you’ll ever be singing on a stage one day?”

“Maybe? I don’t know. Maybe one day,” she says. “Maybe if I was more… you know.” She grimaces as she makes a vague gesture with her hand.

“Mm-hm.” Really, he doesn’t know, but it seems like a touchy subject. 

He deems it better not to pry.

Big Hit and Source Music are due to debut a girl group soon, Hitman Bang says.

Unlike the boys, they’ve even got a name—GLAM. Yoongi, however, has yet to know the group’s trainees beyond seeing them in passing. After all, Source is the one handling all the management and promotion and all that fancy stuff. 

(Hitman Bang says he’d never be able to manage a girl group because he doesn’t understand women. It takes all of Yoongi’s willpower to stifle a laugh when Yuri says she’s not surprised.)

Meanwhile, all Big Hit has to do is help make their music. 

Yoongi feels a bit of pressure when faced with the prospect of making music for somebody else. Music has always been a very personal process for him. The thought of someone else interpreting his work was both exciting and overwhelming. While the prospect of someone interpreting his work or liking his work enough to perform it piqued his interest, the idea of someone either fucking up something he made or pitching his work to someone who’d only reject it was anxiety-inducing.

To his relief, that is not what he is currently doing.

At the moment, he’s currently mixing a demo for one of GLAM’s future songs, touching up the vocals so that they stand out above the instrumental’s bouncy synths. It has a nice vibe to it, he muses. It’s in English, but he understands enough of it to make out that it’s about getting ‘too close’ to somebody who’s supposed to be a friend. Hitman Bang must’ve purchased it from some overseas songwriter. He’s not sure why. It seems like it’d be an expensive process, and even after buying it they’ll have to translate it back into Korean. What was the point of all that hassle?

At least it sounds nice, Yoongi supposes. It’s a cute, pop-based little R&B track with airy vocals. The high notes are clear and smooth, with a distinct little squeak at the end of the high notes. It’s almost familiar, he muses, but he’s listened to a lot of music in his lifetime, so—wait a minute.

Yuri. That’s Yuri’s voice.

He recognizes those little squeaks anywhere, reminiscent of the whiny tones she makes whenever she’s being stubborn about something. It’s harder to pick up on when she speaks in English, which he supposes he should’ve assumed she’d know how to speak. He recalls Namjoon offhandedly mentioning that she was his English tutor a couple of times, as well as Yuri mentioning translating for her mom. Still, he’s never actually heard it come out of her mouth. It’s kind of jarring.

Against his better judgement, he asks her about it.

“Oh! Um, yeah, that’s me,” she admits, laughing sheepishly. “It’s kind of embarrassing.”

“It’s good,” he assures her. “Your voice is pretty. The lyrics you wrote are catchy. I bet you could be an idol, if you wanted to.”

“Uh-uh. I don’t think so,” she says just a bit too forcefully, “I’m perfectly content just producing for you guys. Seriously.”

“That’s selfless of you,” he says. She shakes her head.

“It’s actually a little selfish, when I think about it,” she laughs nervously. “To be honest, I think a big part of my support comes from living vicariously through you guys. Saying it out loud makes it sound kind of awful, but you guys are doing things I could only ever dream of doing. I’m just here to make sure you guys are as successful as possible at all the things you’re doing, you know? Even though I’m not actually, like, putting in all the work and being on stage and all that.”

“You could, if you really wanted to,” he says encouragingly. She shakes her head.

“I mean, I don’t think I look very idol-like,” Yoongi muses. 

“You do!” she argues. Poking at his pale cheek to emphasize her next point, she says, “White as sugar, just like old man Bang said. You’ve got that glass skin, you know?” 

“That’s because I don’t go outside,” he says, self-deprecating as ever as he swats her hand away.

“Oppa,” she whines in a way he thinks is unfairly cute of her. “Just accept the compliment, okay?” He rolls his eyes, but relents to her wishes anyway.

“Thank you,” he says.

“You’re very welcome,” she says, sounding far too pleased with herself. “Don’t be like that, okay?”

“Like what?” he says, wrinkling his nose.

“Well… you know. Mean to yourself about how you look,” she explains. “Namjoon is the same, which is sad. And also just not great for an idol, you know? You have to be at least a little confident in your looks, or you’re gonna be miserable every time the stylists dress you. It takes them longer than you’d think. Or so I’ve heard.”

“There’s not much to be proud of,” he deflects, not missing the way that Yuri rolls her eyes like that. 

When she raises her hand, he thinks she’s gonna flick his forehead or prod at his face again or something, but instead she places a finger on the tip of his nose. He furrows his brows together.

“What—”

“Your nose is cute,” she says matter-of-factly. He can’t help the strangled noise of surprise that escapes him at that, face growing hot as he flusters. “And your pale skin makes it easier to see when you blush, too. That’s a strong charm point as well, I think. You’ve got lots of charms.” He turns away, shaking his head in disbelief. 

Still, it’s nice to know that somebody thinks so.

Yoongi presses the end call button on his phone just a little too forcefully.

Another phone call, another argument with his parents. It was instances like these that made him not want to call them at all. He’s always in this limbo of guilt, grateful that they paid for his trainee contract while also being angry at the way they constantly voice their disapproval. He slams his phone down onto his desk in frustration. 

Apparently, it was louder than he thought. His studio door opens up a sliver, just enough for Yuri to peek her head in.

“Hey,” she calls softly. “Everything alright in there?” Yoongi pulls a face that makes it obvious that no, he is not alright. “Can I come in, then?” 

Upon his nod of approval, she files into the room, gently closing the door shut behind her. She walks over and settles into the seat across from his, sliding it over next to his so she can lay her head on his shoulder. Her touch is comforting, he thinks.

“Talk to me,” she says. “What’s wrong?”

“Sometimes, I think I should just… I don’t know. Anything to stop shit like that from happening,” he sighs. “My parents nagging me, I guess. Just go back home. Go to college. Get a nine-to-five. Have a nice family, or something.” And Yuri frowns, because she gets it.

It’s something she’s spent many days and nights comforting Namjoon over when he’s just had another argument with his parents over the same exact thing. She wishes she could relate or understand, or anything to comfort him—but she can’t. 

She’s glad the two can talk to each other about it now, but she can’t help but feel a little jealous that she can’t be a part of the conversation and can help them. She almost scoffs at herself for envying them being able to bond over their unsupportive parents. How fucked up was that?

Heaving a sigh, she hops up and takes a seat on the edge of his desk, careful to mind his production equipment. She swings her feet up into his lap, in that very casually touchy Yuri-esque way of hers. Impulsively, he brings a hand up to gently tap at her shin. She tries not to giggle at the ticklish sensation.

“Yoongi,” she starts, as seriously as she can manage. “Not to be, like. A downer or anything. But when your parents are gone, where would that put you? Stuck in a job you hate for no reason?”

“Six feet under,” he snorts, and she gasps.

“Not funny!” she whines, kicking at his hand. Her assault on his poor palm only gets worse when he bursts out laughing. “So not funny!”

“Sorry, sorry,” he says, but he’s still laughing.

“I really am trying to be supportive,” she huffs, a bit less childishly, now. “But I can’t like. Get it, get it, you know? The only reason I have any idea what to say here is ‘cause I’ve had this talk before. You know, if you two tried talking to each other more about personal stuff, I think you’d see that you and Namjoon are more alike than you might think. I’m not going to spill his business, but. I’ll just say that I think if anyone were to get it, it’d be him. It took some coaxing from my dad, but both my parents are okay with me pursuing music, now. As long as I took the producer route and not the idol route, at least. But still. It’s a good start. I’m lucky. I’ve got it better than a lot of people do, I think.”

“Would you?”

“Hm?”

“Take the idol route,” he clarifies, looking down at her shoes. “If you were given the choice.”

Sometimes, Yoongi feels like he’s never been given a choice. It feels like he’s been given every setback in the world. He’s never had the support or the funds or the hunger for fame that so often accompanied those pursuing music. He can barely remember why or when or what began his relationship with music, but he so vividly remembers feeling it, feeling like music chose him rather than the other way around. He can’t help but wonder what someone who seems to have been given almost all the choice in the world has to say about the only restrictions she’s been given.

Not much, it seems.

“Oh, um, nah. I don’t think so,” she laughs nervously. “I’m just—I’m not really pretty enough?”

“You are pretty,” he says, too quickly and too naturally to be insincere. He doesn’t miss the way that she ducks her head to hide the flush flooding into her cheeks.

This must be the vague ‘you know’ thing she was always talking about, Yoongi muses. He really should’ve picked up on it from the moment she said she didn’t look very idol-like. He’s never been the type to kiss up, so he hopes she knows that he means it. 

“You’re so—stop that,” she whines, embarrassed. She half-heartedly attempts to kick at his hand again, but makes no move to try again when she misses. “You’re too much.”

“I’m serious,” he says.

“I know,” she squeaks, hands flying up to cover her flushed cheeks up in embarrassment. “That’s the embarrassing part. Get some taste or something.”

“Don’t be a hypocrite, Yuri,” he says, rolling his eyes. “You always tell Namjoon and I not to be insecure about appearances, but you act the same when it comes to yours.”

“That’s different,” she whines, “You and Namjoon are gonna be in front of the cameras. I’m gonna be behind them. I don’t need to muster up any kind of confidence for that. Which is good. Because I don’t have it.”

“Looks don’t matter to me,” he says flatly. “But confidence does. I’m not gonna hold your hand and tell you that you’re pretty all day, even if I think it’s true, ‘cause you’re not gonna believe it no matter how many times I say it.”

“Ouch.”

“Let me finish,” he continues, “Even if it isn’t your looks, you deserve to at least be confident in something. Your music, your grades, your music, whatever. You’re generous and thoughtful. Don’t let society make you miserable just because all they care about is appearances.”

Yuri doesn’t say anything, her face still buried in her hands. More than a little bit concerned at this point, Yoongi flicks her forehead through her bangs. 

“Hey, you good in there?” he asks. She doesn’t reply. Just sniffles. Oh, fuck. “Uh, sorry, I—” Yuri shakes her head, finally lowering her hands.

“Don’t be,” she laughs nervously, still teary-eyed. “That was one of the nicest things a boy ever said to me. You should be, like, a motivational speaker or something.” He snorts.

“I can’t give advice to like. People I don’t care about,” he says, grinning awkwardly, “I’d just tell them to get their shit together and I’d get fired.” Yuri can’t fight the smile off of her cheeks at that.

She’s sure she’d know that he cares through his Yoongi-isms alone, but it’s nice to hear it from the man himself. He wouldn’t be giving this advice if he didn’t care. 

Min Yoongi cares about her, and it makes her heart feel warm.

Lim Yuri has become an unexpected addition to Yoongi’s delivery sprees.

Yuri’s arms, small and gentle, have become a comforting presence as they wrap around his waist. The old couple doesn’t seem to mind the extra person joining him on his trips, content with her politeness and the fact that she isn’t demanding any money despite providing help. They coo about the highs and lows of young love whenever Yuri arrives to join him on his trips, and Yoongi can’t find the energy within himself to correct them.

Things go on like this for a long time, hours, days, weeks, of this halcyon. Her arms keep him warm in the winter and her cold hands keep him refreshed in the late months of spring. The old husband hands them a bag of leftover food for them to eat together, an wistful smile on his face. 

They eat in the midst of impromptu therapy sessions, which usually consist of Yuri comforting Yoongi as he complains about his problems. It’s okay, though, because she likes to give advice and she likes how deep his voice is when he talks and she doesn’t have many problems of her own to complain about, anyway. When she does talk, it’s always lighthearted, talking about a song she wrote or something dumb Kyunghee and Daniel did or how cute Namjoon’s dimples were on that particular day. 

One day, curiosity kills the cat, and Yoongi asks a question that’s been killing him from the start.

“Why do you like Namjoon so much, anyway?” It’s something Yoongi asks out of the blue, so much so that he doesn’t even realize he’s asking it until it slips out. He’s not sure what he’s expecting until she answers, and when he does, he realizes that his expectation was literally anything but what she says next.

“No reason,” she says, and he’s so thrown for a loop by the words that leave her that he practically stumbles over his feet when he hears them.

“Wait, seriously?” he says. “I’ve read your lyrics, you know. You’re good with words.”

“I am?” she says, sounding far too surprised for his liking.

“Yeah. Which is why I thought you’d have a way better answer than that,” he says. “I expected you to talk about…” He pauses as he sifts through his brain for all the things that he personally finds attractive about Namjoon. “…I don’t know, his dimples or his height or his good grades or something.” All things that he lacks, Yoongi muses with insecurity.

“Oh my God. Those are all, like, great and all, but they’re not like… why I like him,” Yuri giggles. “He’s just—I don’t know. There’s a lot of things about him that make me like him, but I can’t, like, come up with an itemized list. It’s not like one day he reached a quota in traits I liked and suddenly I liked him. I just realized I did. I just… felt it. It felt right. He felt right.”

“Oh.” Yoongi feels a pang of jealousy at that, like an itch he can’t scratch. Maybe it’s because a tender part of him can only dream of being loved so dearly.

He silently wonders what it would be like to be loved by a person like Lim Yuri.

Namjoon has been feeling himself growing fonder and fonder of Yoongi in these past months.

Finally learning to talk to him without being all weird has helped with that. Without the formalities, they’re both able to speak a lot more freely. In the time that they’ve done so, the two have been able to talk about and bond over their rocky family situations and their choice to pursue music.

What’s fueled his fondness more than anything, though, is Yoongi’s little habits—the way he runs a hand through his jet black hair as he shyly recommends jazz and art study because they seem like the type of thing you’d like, Namjoonie, the way he always wears those grey jacket and sweats because they’re warm and winter is starting to trickle in, the way he smiles with his gums just like Yuri said he would.

Those two have gotten impossibly close lately, Namjoon notes. Now, he doesn’t think he’s the most perceptive person in the world, but it’s hard to miss the tenderness in their actions. Every time he steals a glance in their direction, they’re exchanging knowing glances or whispering softly to each other or linking pinkies in the way that Yuri loves to do so much.

It’s only natural to conclude that Min Yoongi and Lim Yuri are involved.

He doesn’t know why it bothers him so much. It has no reason to, right? But it does. He combs through his mind for any possible reason that it should. Maybe it’s because Yoongi, who’s agreed to be more honest with him, hasn’t told him about it. Maybe it’s because Yuri, ever perceptive, has been one of his closest friends for years and yet seems to have no intentions in telling him about it despite how painfully obvious their interactions make things.

The familiar sting of loneliness rises sharply in his chest when he sees them interact, like they’re in their own little world, with seemingly no room for him. He feels like he’s spying on their relationship when he shouldn’t be. He feels like a voyeur. He feels like an interloper.

Maybe this is how Yoongi felt when he first came to Big Hit, he muses. If this is how he feels just watching him and Yuri, he can’t imagine having to watch everyone who’s known each other for years talk and laugh together from the outside. The more he thinks about it, the more he feels selfish and ridiculous for being so bothered by it. After all, who was he to meddle in their affairs?

Maybe it’s high time he finds one of his own.

Yuri’s sheets are soft, Yoongi thinks.

They’re at her house today, Yuri not feeling very keen on having this conversation in the Big Hit building for fear that Namjoon might walk in on them while they’re talking about him. Right now, she’s half-heartedly producing something on her bedroom computer and venting to Yoongi as he lies on her bed.

She rants about how Namjoon has been talking a lot about girls lately, clearly bothered. She especially seems bothered by the fact that Namjoon won’t let her be as touchy with him as she used to be. Normally, Yoongi wouldn’t give a damn about other people’s affairs, but things are different, this time. While he’s not personally bothered by it, he doesn’t like the fact that it bothers her so much, for whatever reason he can’t quite pinpoint. 

Dear Lord, she even goes into detail, describing each and every pretty girl in a way that is far less flowery than he believes Namjoon would speak about a girl.

“And then there’s Jieun, who they all say is a good kisser. What does that even mean? Like, what the hell makes someone a good kisser? You just jam your lips together, right?”

“You’ve never been kissed,” he says, more a statement than a question.

“Yes?”

“Kinda late, don’t you think?” he says. Yuri gasps as she smacks at his arm, clearly mortified.

“No it’s not! Shut up!” she says indignantly. He’s trying to take her seriously, but her squeaky little whines make that hard.

“Sorry—” he tries apologizing through his laughter.

“You don’t sound sorry at all!” she whines. “It’s not funny, okay? It’s fine! I’m still young!”

“You’re sixteen already!”

“I’m only sixteen!” she huffs, crossing her arms and turning away from him. “I-I have time, okay? We can’t all be heartbreakers, Min Yoongi.”

“Heartbreaker?” he repeats. “I haven’t had a girlfriend since middle school.”

“I never said you were one,” she defends herself.

“You implied it.”

“I—whatever!” she huffs. “I’m saving my first kiss for someone special. And it’s gonna be somewhere magical, like under the cherry blossoms at the Goyang Flower Festival or on a picnic blanket under the stars on New Year’s or something.”

Oh my God. He’s trying so hard to stop his laughter. 

“Did you swallow a fucking romance novel?” he laughs. “My first kiss took place in the hallway after gym class, so like. Don’t be surprised if it sucks and you mess up and slobber all over them or something like that.”

When he turns to look at Yuri, she looks incredibly nervous. She’s come to a still in her spinny chair, nervously pulling her hair over her face as she ponders his words with utmost seriousness.

“Do you think that?” she asks, voice small.

“What?” he asks. Wordlessly, she sighs, wheeling her chair backwards over to where he’s lying on her bed. She cranes her neck back onto her bed, coming face-to-face with him.

“Do you think I’ll mess up my first kiss?” she says softly. Not that she needs to speak anything but—she’s so close he can feel her breath against his nose. He pulls away, face aflush.

“You’ll be fine,” he mutters, voice cracking. 

Yuri gives a huff, seemingly dissatisfied with his answer. She hops down from her chair—there’s an inherent cuteness in the fact that her feet don’t touch the ground when she sits on it, Yoongi muses—and up onto the bed, right next to him. He rolls his eyes when she settles onto her knees and urges him to sit up, too. He obliges, in spite of his annoyance.

“What was your first kiss like? Aside from the whole being in the hallway thing?” she whispers, like they’re telling secrets. There’s nobody else in the house but Daniel (who’s probably got his headphones cranked up to a hundred percent), so Yoongi can’t help but find her antics endearing.

“My first kiss was just a kiss. Nothing bad. Nothing mind-blowing,” he says with a shrug.

Even that’s a bit of a stretch. They were both gross and sweaty and their teeth clacked together. But he already feels kinda bad for making her doubt herself so much, and he doesn’t want to aggravate her worries.

“So how did… did you just…” she gestures awkwardly with her friends as she trails off, unable to articulate whatever she wants to say. He gets it, though. He always does.

“You just go for it,” he says, “It’s the kinda thing you just feel your way through. Just don’t think too hard about it. You’re good at doing things without thinking, so it should go well for you.”

“Gee, thanks,” she says, rolling her eyes at the back-handed compliment. “It’s just—I don’t wanna mess up in the future if I ever… you know.”

“Just say kiss,” he teases. “It’s not as sacred as you’re making it out to be. It’s just lips-on-lips. If humans never decided it was a thing to kiss people you liked, it wouldn’t be important at all. It’d just be an exchange of germs.”

“It’s important to me!” she bristles, so aggressively that it throws him for a loop. She takes note of her overreaction, coughing awkwardly before returning to her normal volume. She repeats, “I-It’s important to me. I just want it to be nice. I don’t wanna be disappointed. And I don’t wanna be someone else’s disappointment. That’s why I’m asking you this.”

“What are you asking?” he says, raising a brow.

“Augh!” She buries her face into her hands, miserably failing an attempt to hide her flushed cheeks. Peeking through her fingertips, she gently continues, “Just… hypothetically… purely for practice reasons… it wouldn’t count as my first kiss if you could, um. Help me. Try. Practice. I don’t know.”

The room goes impossibly quiet. She can’t say a word after that, the pair just staring at each other in awkward silence, him impossibly floored at the suggestion. Their faces go blank as Yuri processes what the hell she just did and Yoongi processes what the hell just happened.

When it all finally clicks, Min Yoongi has the audacity to fucking smirk, gums showing and all.

“Practice,” he repeats, no lilt to it, no bite. His attempts to remain straight-faced are to no avail, because her pouting up at him is all it takes for him to burst out laughing.

“Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!” she yells, pushing him back down onto the bed. “Just forget it! Forget I said anything!” She hooks a leg over his waist, pinning him down before grabbing a pillow and smacking him as hard as she can with it. The pain does little to quell his laughter.

“Get off!” he laughs in-between smacks. “You’re too much!”

“Are you calling me heavy?!” she asks, more fake-offended than anything.

“What—no! What the fuck made you think that?!” he tries to sound indignant, but he’s still laughing, and before he knows it, she’s laughing too. When the laughter subsides and the room goes quiet, they both realize what kind of situation they’re in. Yuri’s still got him pinned down, having just talked about first kisses. Kisses in general. Having just proposed that they kiss. The air goes tense.

“So,” Yoongi says, cutting through the silence.

“So.”

“I didn’t. Uh. I didn’t say no.” He has the decency to look embarrassed, now, cheeks flushed and eyes blown wide. “Unless you don’t want to.”

The two stare at each other for a moment after that, like they’re waiting for the other to back down. A Clint Eastwood-style duel of the eyes, so to speak.

“I won’t start something I can’t finish,” she says decidedly.

She leans in as promised,

presses her nose against his—

“I’m sorry!”

—and promptly places both hands over his mouth.

The motion isn’t harsh enough to hurt too bad—only a light sting—but it is very sudden. Yoongi blinks up at her a couple of times in surprise just to reassure himself that whatever that was actually just happened.

“I’m sorry,” she repeats. “For um—yeah. I’m sorry. I don’t think I can do this? Because, um, you know. If someone asks me when my first kiss was, I’ll have to say, ‘Oh, it was on my bed at like, 11PM when I was in high school. A-And that already makes me sound terrible! And then when they ask with who, I’ll have to say, ‘Oh, just with my friend that I work with so I could practice kissing for the future since I was in love with our friend!’ And that’ll be my stupid goddamn answer! And that’s… that’s, um… that’s kind of not very romantic…”

Her voice tapers off towards the end, quieting in what Yoongi thinks is embarrassment as she takes his hands off of his mouth. It really does sound kind of ridiculous when she says it out loud. Maybe Yoongi was onto something when he laughed at her for sounding like she ‘swallowed a romance novel.’ To her relief, his next response is anything but patronizing.

“Hey,” he says, “Relax. Don’t apologize for changing your mind, that’s just—that’s just weird. Don’t force yourself to do shit you don’t want to. That’s weird.”

She’s so close. They’re still nose-to-nose, breath tickling each other’s lips every time the other speaks. He awkwardly pats the back of her thigh a couple of times, which she reads as a signal to roll off of him. She obliges. Even though she knows he doesn’t mean much by that little touch, the intimacy of it still makes her blush. Thankfully, he can’t see it with the both of them laying back down onto the bed and staring awkwardly at the ceiling above them. Yoongi pretends to find interest in the faded glow-in-the-dark stars on her bedroom ceiling.

“Okay,” she says.

“Okay,” he repeats.

“Sorry,” she says again.

“It’s fine,” he reassures her, because as mortifying as the situation is for them both, it really is fine.

She blindly reaches her hand out to find his, feeling around until their fingers meet. When he fondly links his pinky in hers, the way she always does with him, she decides that a kiss isn’t the kind of thing she should be rushing into, anyways.

Yoongi just assumes it isn’t weird.

After all, Yuri settles against him so naturally, her face buried into his neck and her studio chair sidled next to his as he sits at his desk and works on mixing what he hopes will end up being a song on their first album, whenever that comes out. Were it not for the way that her breath hit the sensitive skin of his neck, he would barely even register that she was there.

Well. Maybe not barely.

She’s so warm, the way she presses against him. She’s always warm, except in her hands, but it’s fine because his hands are always colder. Her cold fingers thread through his hair, and it reminds him of how accustomed he’s become to her touchiness. It’s just a habit of hers, he’s since learned. She has a lot of little habits he once found weird, but now only sees those habits as things that make her Yuri. 

Yuri who hides behind her hair when she’s shy or nervous. Yuri who only wears half her jacket and leaves the other half hanging off for no reason. Yuri who wordlessly leaves ramen cups on his desk. Yuri who has to link her pinky with someone else’s when she’s nervous. Yuri who awkwardly bends her hands to link both of hers together when she doesn’t want to be a bother.

But it’s come to the point where she’s never a bother anymore. If she were, he wouldn’t have situated himself in her life as the outlier, the one person who coaxes her to talk about all of her problems because she’s the one resolving everyone else’s. Yuri taking always feels like giving, because he takes in her little habits and private thoughts that she shares with him and nobody else. It makes him feel more important than it makes him feel annoyed.

She has a special bond with everyone at Big Hit, and even with the Source Music and JYP trainees they practice with—she wouldn’t be going out of her way to force them all to resolve their conflicts, otherwise, even if they see her as nosy and meddling because of it.

In everyone being special, he supposes, he has gone full circle in no longer being special. Maybe he is, but he’s not as important to her as say, Kyunghee, her own damn brother, or Namjoon, who she stares at like he holds all the world’s answers. With that, Yoongi takes his place in her heart at a solid bronze (at the very most), which stings a little more than he’d like to admit. 

He hasn’t had much opportunity to grow as close to anyone at Big Hit—hell, anyone in Seoul—yet. Maybe that’s why he’s grown so attached to her like this. As sad as it is, she is quite literally the one person in the whole city that he’s close to. Listening to all her problems like this makes him feel like he’s just as important to her, so he can feel a little bit less pathetic about holding her so close to his heart. Even if the problems that she tells him reveal anything but.

“I’m so stupid,” she whines against his neck. Her warm breath gives him goosebumps.

“Jeez, you’re not. How many times do we have to go over this?” He’s been comforting her over this for the past half-hour now.

Namjoon has a girlfriend now. A tall girl from his advanced algebra class with great math skills and pale skin and sharp eyes—everything that Yuri does not have. He knows she’s insecure about it from the way she wrinkles her nose when she sees her reflection in the mirrors of the practice rooms. It makes him want to throttle Namjoon, despite him probably not having a clue.

“Sorry,” she says, her voice small, “For dumping all this on you, you know? I don’t wanna be that friend who only ever talks to you when I have problems. I kinda feel like I’m using you.”

“Hey, hey. It’s fine. Relax,” he says, feeling her nod softly into his neck as he continues, “It doesn’t bother me.” In fact, he prefers it, is what he doesn’t tell her. Humiliating as it is, he revels in feeling like he’s giving something, when he always feels like he’s taking from her. Like everyone is taking from her.

He knows what it’s like to be a producer, always behind the scenes of it all. She says she’s perfectly content with it, but he once said the same thing back in Daegu. But even when he chose to do things and make things for other people like this, there was always that underlying feeling of feeling like something has been taken from you. Sometimes it was just wanting the same amount of recognition as the people singing the songs you made.

Being young in society meant a desire for acceptance, and what bigger acceptance was there than fame? He recognizes the stars in her eyes whenever they practice with the other trainees in JYP’s big, shiny entertainment building because his own eyes held them once, too.

He’s still a trainee, so maybe they still do.

But for now, he’s letting himself dream small, living in the studio whenever he doesn’t have to practice those stupid dances Hitman Bang has them do. For now, music comes first, especially with his current job as one of the company’s main producers.

Producing is a lot harder with one hand, he muses, noting that she has at some point monopolized his left one when he wasn’t paying attention. He interlocks their fingers in spite of it all. With his ability to perform keyboard shortcuts impaired, he delegates the task of manually clicking things to his free hand. It’s annoying, but the feeling of her hand fit so snugly in his makes the inconvenience feel worth it. They sit like that for a while, quiet as one of her hands threads through his hair and the other softly strokes at his hand with her thumb.

“I like your hands,” she says. “They’re nice to hold.” Yoongi swallows. She’s so close to him that he’s scared she’ll hear how fast his heart is beating. To his relief, she says nothing of it.

“They’re just hands,” he says as nonchalantly as he can manage. “Cold hands.”

“Usually when you hold someone’s hand they get all hot and sweaty and clammy and gross, which is why I do the pinky-linking thing,” she muses, “Yours don’t do that, so they’re nice to hold. And they’re honestly not even that cold.”

“They are,” he argues.

“I don’t think your hands are ever that cold,” she says, her voice a teasing lilt. “I think you just keep saying that so you have an excuse to have your hands held. I bet you secretly love skinship.” He rolls his eyes, tightening an arm around her tiny frame.

“Watch it. Your life is in my hands,” he says, as flatly as he can manage for maximum ominosity.

With a squeak, she flies off of him like he’s on fire. He can’t help but smile, wide and gummy, at her Yuri-esque antics. Even when she turns away, shaking her head fondly, he can feel his heart swell in his chest as he looks at her. It reminds him why she’s the first one at Big Hit he was able to really talk to. Everything feels easy and comfortable with her, the way he felt back in Daegu.

His reverie is interrupted by Namjoon’s voice booming from the studio next to his.

“Yuri!” he calls. “Can you look at this for me?”

Hearing this, she does a little happy dance with her feet. It’s a habit he usually finds endearing, but right now it just makes his stomach twist. She waves him off, dropping everything—she even forgets her water bottle on his desk—to run off and attend to whatever Namjoon needs her for.

“I’ll be back,” she says in a sing-song voice as she’s out the door. 

He knows she will. She always comes back to him whenever Namjoon isn’t available.

Yoongi runs a frustrated hand through his hair, not sure why it bothers him so much. The fact that he doesn’t know why it bothers him so much bothers him more than anything else.

Yuri is awake at the Big Hit dorms at two in the morning.

This is nothing out of the ordinary, though. Whenever their dad was out of the country on a business trip, she always took the opportunity to stay out past curfew as a chance to spend her nights at the Big Hit studio while Kyunghee played video games with Donghyuk in the dorms. She always had to hide in the studio until early dawn so as to not get caught by Hitman Bang, who made it clear that he detested the idea of someone so young being out late just to work for him.

Today is different, though. Today, she’s in the dorms, taking a well-deserved break from work as she lays on her stomach next to Yoongi and watches a movie with him. She brought the DVD over from her house, thinking nothing of the way her father’s old American movies lined the TV stand until the day Yoongi bashfully mentioned wanting to watch it.

So here they are, watching a Korean-subbed version of Scarface on the tiny screen of his laptop. Yuri can’t enjoy the movie very much, finding it a bit too bleak and violent for her liking. And it just never gets better. It’s just hit after hit, one bad thing happening after another. She’s sure that if she squinted hard enough, she would be able to appreciate the cinematography and whatever deeper meaning the film holds, but that sounds like too much brainpower to be using at two in the morning.

Yoongi seems to find it interesting, though. He’s enraptured by every word that leaves the main character’s mouth, so much so that Yuri would be surprised if he forgot she was there. It really seems like he’s in his own little world. Instead, she finds her entertainment in his little gasps of delight, the innocent widening of his eyes, the way his grins of anticipation look as they’re illuminated by the dim light of his laptop screen.

It’s unfair, she thinks, how pretty Yoongi is. Perfect skin and catlike eyes and gummy smiles and he’s not even trying—hell, he doesn’t even have a skincare routine! God really does pick favorites. Yuri absentmindedly brushes a strand of hair out of his eyes, one he’s probably too entranced by the movie to notice. She hums softly at the way he leans into her touch without thinking.

She wonders if anyone is ever going to look at her this way.

There’s no time for her musings to continue when she hears what sounds like someone throwing their guts up in the bathroom. It stops for a moment before continuing, and Jesus, that sounds pretty brutal. She nudges Yoongi with her arm.

“Sounds like someone’s dying in there,” she says. He furrows his brows together in concern.

“Huh?”

“Someone’s not having a good time in the bathroom,” she says. “Did Namjoon undercook the chicken breasts again or what?” As if on cue, the poor guy is retching again, and Yoongi shakes his head.

“Jihoon,” he says, pausing the movie before he stands up and dusts himself off. “He hasn’t been feeling well for a while, now.” Yuri gets up and follows Yoongi when he makes his way towards said bathroom, cringing at the distinct sound of dry heaving as they draw closer. Yoongi knocks on the door before entering, his frown deep-set when he sees Jihoon hunched over the toilet.

“Hey,” Yuri says softly, stepping forward and placing a comforting hand on the small of his back. “Are you okay, buddy?” Yuri and Jihoon aren’t exactly the closest—of all the Big Hit trainees, Namjoon and Yoongi nabbed that spot—but he’s still nice to talk to, always offering to walk her home when it got too late like a good oppa. Seeing him like this breaks her heart.

“‘M fine,” he rasps, despite the pain in his voice telling them all that he is anything but. “Probably just food poisoning. No big deal.”

“Food poisoning for three days?” Yoongi says, obviously in disbelief. “It could be a stomach bug. Or God forbid, appendicitis. You really need to get yourself checked out.”

“It’s fine, hyung. I—” he begins, but the need to heave again cuts him off. Yuri rubs comforting circles into his back some more, unsure of what else to do. She sends a questioning glance Yoongi’s way, who looks just as concerned as she does.

“We’re taking you to the hospital,” he says. Jihoon groans, but doesn’t have the energy to resist.

The drive to the hospital is tense, Yuri filing in the back before Jihoon so he can lay his head against her shoulder and she can make sure he doesn’t throw up anymore. Meanwhile, Yoongi pushing is the edge of the speed limit, eyes darting back and forth between the road and the rear view mirror to make sure that they’re holding up okay in the back. Yuri sends him a reluctant thumbs up.

Yoongi insists that they take Jihoon to the emergency room, where they take Jihoon to the back. As soon as he’s out of eyeshot, Yuri watches with wide eyes as Yoongi takes out his wallet and puts down a hefty payment for the walk-in fee.

“I can pay for it,” she says, shaking her head as she fishes for her wallet in her own jacket pocket. Yoongi smiles, a bittersweet thing, at the unspoken words—she knows how much he’s struggled with money in the past. Even so, he shakes his head, reaching out to tenderly fit his hand into hers.

“There are worse things to spend my money on,” he says. “You can’t really put a price on anyone.”

Something in the way that she sees Yoongi snaps, then, but she has no clue as to what it is. She’s not sure if it’s the lack of sleep or the lateness of the night that makes her think this, but something about him reminds her of the moon, at that moment.

They stay like that the rest of the night, side-by-side in the seats of the hospital waiting room. Yoongi’s lashes flutter dreamily at the way a sleep-deprived Yuri noses against him, softly muttering sweet things against the sensitive skin of his neck and meaning every word.

“Your heart is warm, Min Yoongi.”

Yoongi can’t help but notice the way that Yuri’s wrap around him a little bit tighter during their deliveries, these days. More than that, he can’t help but notice how much he likes it.

He’s slowly accepting the fact that this might be a thing that he will have to address in both himself and with the rest of the Big Hit team later. Yuri being her normal touchy self was one thing, but him finding himself enjoying her touch rather than just allowing it was… new. It’s scary and exciting all at once, but mostly the former. For now, while it isn’t a problem, he chooses to ignore it.

He still puts the helmet on her head himself, pulling the buckles tight and making sure it’s fully secure before anything else. He takes extra care with it these days, tender in the way he always does it for her like it’s the first time. He feels like a little kid all over again, the way he cares like this.

It’s easy for him to psyche himself out of things, convincing himself that she’s just being all touchy because that’s how she is, but then she does little things that make him think it isn’t all in his head. Just last month, she gifted him with a black Yamaha helmet, covered with stickers of Kumamon and logos of brands he likes and Scarface, even though he remembers her having a pointed disinterest in the film while they watched it on his bedroom floor.

He never anticipated that he’d actually need it one day.

He doesn’t know how it happens, who went too fast or too slow or turned when they weren’t supposed to. All he remembers is tightening his arms around Yuri as they tumbled off the bike and onto the ground, hoping that she’d be okay. 

She always kicked in his protective instinct, being so small and so delicate. The thought of her getting hurt because she wanted to help him out makes him feel impossibly guilty.

Yoongi’s fading in and out of consciousness, vaguely registering Yuri’s voice sobbing into her phone on what seems to be a 1339 call.

“He’s—he’s unconscious,” he hears her sniffle, “Oh my God, he—um, no, no, he has a helmet on. His head is under the car. His body’s sticking out from under it. I just—I don’t wanna move him, ‘cause, oh my God, what if I hurt him? Oh God, what do I do? I don’t know what to—no, ma’am, the street is—um...”

When he wakes up, he’s lying in a hospital bed, groggy and miserable and aching to the joints. He’s in the emergency room, he realizes, the same one he drove Jihoon to only weeks ago. His heart sinks when the doctor informs him that he’s got an incredibly bad shoulder injury—no more boxing, no more basketball, he tells him. It was nearly dislocated, he says, so don’t move too much. Don’t put too much pressure on it. Just relax for a month or so.

This sends him into a full-blown panic. He doesn’t have a month. He’s never been much of a dancer—of everyone, she should probably be practicing the most. This sets him back far behind the others. How is he gonna catch up? How is he gonna make up for that?

As soon as the doctor leaves, the weight of the whole world hits him all at once. He can even feel himself hyperventilating, but is halted by the shock of a gentle hand reaching out to grasp his. When he turns, he sees Yuri sitting on the hospital chair next to him. Lord, he was so out of it he didn’t even realize she was there. She’s got bandages on her legs, but other than that, no major injuries. He breathes a sigh of relief.

“Hey,” she says softly.

“Hey,” he says, slowly blinking up at her.

“Why did you do that?” she says, voice cracking.

“Huh?”

“You, um, kind of,” she begins, “…broke my fall? You held me. I don’t know. I crushed your shoulder. That’s why it’s all fucked up. Why would you do that?”

“I—I don’t know,” he admits. “I wasn’t thinking. I just felt like it was the thing to do at that moment.” She whines pitifully at his answer, squeezing his hand as tight as she can.

“I just feel like I owe you one,” she says. “Something. Anything. I don’t know.”

The tender part of him tells him to assure her that she has no need to do any such thing. After all, nothing was more important than other people—especially Lim Yuri—but the scared part of him takes over.

“Make me a promise,” he says softly. She leans in to hear him better, nodding as she does so.

“Anything,” she says.

“Promise me you won’t tell the others about this injury. Please.” Yuri furrows her brows and widens her eyes upon hearing this, obviously not expecting that answer. She practically rips her hand from his at that, pulling back from him as if appalled.

“What?!” she says. “Yoongi, no! They have to know about this!”

“They’ll worry. They’ll bench me. They’ll pull me out,” he says. “I promise you, it’s better if they don’t know.”

“What, so they can make you dance and exercise and all that shit with your injured shoulder? If it was sprained, that’d be one thing, but this is a serious problem! You’re only gonna hurt yourself further by not telling them.”

“I don’t care. It’s fine.” Yuri shakes her head.

“I just don’t get it,” she says, sniffling. “How you can care so little about yourself when I—when everyone—cares about you so much.”

“I’ll be fine,” he assures her. “It’ll heal. Everything will, alright? I just need you not to tell anyone about it.”

“Of course,” she says, as flatly as she can manage. “I owe you one, after all.” Yoongi knows her well enough to sense the bite in her tone. He rolls his eyes.

“C’mon,” he clicks his tongue. “Don’t be like that.”

“Don’t be like that, then,” she says, pressing her back to the opposite wall of his little hospital room. “It’s just—it’s just so stupid, Yoongi.” She slides down against the wall and onto the floor, looking impossibly small and hopeless in a way that only makes him feel guiltier. “You don’t have to pay anyone back for any of the nice things we do. You think we do all that just to kiss ass, or what?”

“What—no! Of course not.”

“Then why am I keeping this a secret, huh? Tell me that,” she says. 

Yoongi pauses for a moment, deep in thought. Every single thought falls upon him, all at once. He thinks of the evaluations next weekend and he thinks about his family back home. He thinks about the money they spent on his trainee contract and he thinks about the amount they’ll have to pay off, regardless of whether or not he debuts. His heart beats wildly in his chest. His head pounds away.  His lips press together into a thin line.

“There’s so much at stake,” is all he can offer as an explanation. What else can he say?

“All the more reason to trust us, then, isn’t it?” she says desperately. “Come on. No way anyone would let the company drop you. I’d fight for you, you know that! We’d fight for you. No one else can rap and produce like you. Don’t you remember what Namjoon said? You can debut before him, or he can debut before you, but it’s important that everyone supports each other, always. He’d be here for you, if he knew. He wants to be there for you. We all want to be there for you. You’re so loved. You just have to trust us. You just have to let us in.”

“Sorry I don’t remember every little thing Namjoon says,” he scoffs. “I’m not you.”

“Are you really talking about that right now?!” she bristles. “This is serious, Yoongi!”

“I’m being serious,” he says firmly. “You’re the one bringing up Namjoon while I’m lying in a hospital bed. He’s the leader. He’s the one I’m worried most about. The whole group is built around him. I don’t know if I can trust him not to tell any of the staff about this. If he does—, if anyone does—they have a reason to drop me as a trainee. I can’t let that happen, Yuri.”

He doesn’t know why he’s saying these things. He’s talking out of his ass right now. After all, he trusts Namjoon. He likes Namjoon. But the pain in his shoulder and the claustrophobia of the tight little hospital room makes him feel anxious, restless, paranoid. He wants to get up and move and run or do something. But he can’t, so all he can do is project every negative feeling bogging down on him onto other people.

“If you can’t trust Namjoon,” she says softly. “Can’t you at least trust me?”

A beat of silence is her only answer, Yoongi’s lips pressed together into a thin line as he looks away.

“I can’t believe you,” she says, voice cracking. When he hears her begin to sniffle and sob, he has to force himself not to look back at her, guilt and shame bubbling up in his stomach.

He doesn’t even get to see her as she storms out, slamming the door shut behind her.

Yoongi feels incredibly alone.

He really shouldn’t, though—after all, his family comes all the way down from Daegu just to visit him while he’s in the hospital. They bring him all sorts of different foods, agreeing with his complaints that hospital food really, really sucks. After repeated assurances that he’ll heal just fine, they ask him about trainee life, about his food, about his friends. On the third day, they ask why nobody else has visited him. He lies and says that they’re all too busy training, when in reality they don’t even know that he’s here. 

The insecure, self-loathing part of himself wonders if they’re even worried.

Rationally, he knows they are, because he misses them, too. They’ve been in such close proximity that it’d be impossible for them not to grow as close as they have in these past months. He chuckles softly whenever he thinks about the way they were so rarely separated, bonding and laughing over situations where Hoseok was using the shower while Donghyuk used the toilet and Namjoon brushed his teeth, all at the same time.

It only makes Yoongi feel worse about the last conversation he had with Yuri, making an ass out of himself over Namjoon of all people. Namjoon who he’s lived with the longest. Namjoon who he gives his shirts to when they come in two sizes too big. Namjoon who he holds so dearly. 

He wishes he didn’t have to be apart from everyone for so long to realize what an ass he was being.

It hits him the worst on the sixth day his family visits him and they bring him a cup of a very familiar brand of ₩1200 ramyeon. He saves the little egg brick for last. It tastes bitter in his mouth. 

As he reluctantly finishes his water, listening to his brother, Geumjae, and his parents chatter about their dog and their work and the weather in Daegu. Usually, catching up with them felt like a much-needed break, but right now he just feels restless. 

He’s been lying in this hospital bed for too long. Listening to nothing but their idle chat for too long. He’s been drifting in and out of sleep so much that he probably wouldn’t even know how many days he’d been in the hospital if his phone didn’t tell him. The repetition of it all ends one day when the nurse informs him that somebody’s coming up to visit, even though his family is already there in the room with him.

After a set of gentle knocks, Lim Yuri appears from behind the hospital door like an angel.

She introduces herself to his family a bit too formally, bowing more than she needs to, like she’s trying to impress them. It’s cute of her. What’s even cuter is the way she blushes and flusters in surprise when they ask if she’s a Big Hit trainee and she waves her arms around as she explains that she’s a producer. She looks nothing like an idol, she says. Geumjae jokes that Yoongi doesn’t look anything like one either. He glares at his brother from the hospital bed.

Yuri looks shy as she tells them something too softly for him to hear, but they nod in understanding and send Yoongi a knowing look as they file out of the door with promises to visit tomorrow. His cheeks flush in embarrassment as he realizes he’s going to have a lot to clarify for them then.

His flush deepens when she sets the plastic bag in her hands on his side table, clambering up the bedside to take a seat beside him. He moves to make space for her, revelling in the way the warm skin of her thigh presses against his arm. 

“Did you eat?” she says softly. “I brought you food.”

“Yeah, I ate,” he says. “Thanks, though.”

A beat of silence. She reaches down to grasp his hand, which fits so perfectly into hers. When he squeezes it, she squeezes back. Everything feels like it’s falling back into place where it belongs.

“I didn’t tell anyone, like you said. I told them all that you went back to see your family in Daegu. Said it was a family emergency that you didn’t really wanna talk about,” she says softly. “Told Hitman Bang, too. I think you should be okay if you want to stay here for the next week or so.” He shakes his head.

“It’s okay. I’ll be discharged soon,” he assures her. “Next two days, maybe. It won’t be completely healed, but I’ll just tell them that I fell down the stairs back home or something. I don’t know. Gonna try to play it off as nothing major.” 

She hums in reply, squeezing his hand again. He can tell she still disapproves of his secrets, but is willing to keep them if that’s what makes him comfortable. She slides down so she’s laying next to him, legs slotted nicely next to his. He feels a wave of comfort wash over him as she gets touchy with him, like nothing has changed.

Seeing as Yoongi has never been the touchy-feely type, one would think that this would annoy him. To his own surprise, it doesn’t. If anything, he finds himself reveling in her affections. It’s weird even to him, the way he likes her touch so much.

Wordlessly, she starts playing with his hair. She’s always liked his hair, she’s said before, all sleek and smooth—she doesn’t like her own hair and the way they curl at the ends. And he’d frown every time she talked about herself like that because he thinks she’s one of the cutest people he knows.

Not that he could ever tell her that without shrivelling up and dying of embarrassment.

He’s snapped out of his thoughts by her wandering fingers, which have moved on from playing with his hair to prod at his ears. The sensitivity makes him cringe, but it isn’t an entirely unpleasant thing. He gasps sharply when her fingernails nip at the shell of his ear in a way that feels like the sensitive skin is being bitten. Mortifying as it is to admit, the goosebumps that rise on his skin stem from a sensation more pleasurable than it is uncomfortable. It feels good. Suddenly, the touches that he once found curious and innocent—childish, even—make his face go hot.

“You have something you’re not saying,” she chides. “You can tell me, you know, if it’ll make you feel better.” He turns in closer to her, close enough that her breath tickles him.

“I’m sorry,” he says. “For saying stupid shit that I didn’t mean. I was jealous and stupid and angry.”

“Apology accepted,” she says immediately, trailing her finger back down from his ear to prod at his bready cheeks. “I’d forgive you even if you didn’t apologize, you know. I missed you too much.”

“I missed you, too.” 

She freezes, then. They both do. Yoongi doesn’t even realize what he says until it’s slipped out—it’s probably the most intimate thing he’s said out loud. The closest thing he’s ever said to I love you.

“Can I kiss you?” she asks suddenly. “I just—I know it’s not super romantic to ask, but I don’t just wanna do it without your permission, so—” Yoongi’s face burns a dark crimson as he cuts her off.

“Yeah,” he chokes out. “Go ahead. Please.” He can’t trust his voice to say much else. His hands are shaking.

When she presses her lips against his, everything feels different. 

It’s like every shitty romance movie he’s ever watched has come to life in his bones. Every cheesy metaphor—the sparks flying, the angels singing, the flowers blooming. It’s the way he finally understands why wars have been waged and empires have fallen for a single heart. It’s the way Yuri smells like cherry blossoms and whatever else is in her girly lotions. It’s the way he’s never felt like this before.

It’s different from his first kiss. It feels exactly like Yuri said it should feel. Maybe because it’s her. 

And Min Yoongi finally understands why Lim Yuri put so much importance into a single kiss.

Yoongi doesn’t know how long he’s been avoiding her.

It’s not like he immediately iced her out after the kiss. It was a gradual thing, each interaction slowly becoming more and more unbearable. The first time he can recall feeling things start to fall apart was when he made some rude joke that he can’t even remember now. All he can remember is the way she laughed afterwards, so naturally and so easily that he couldn’t help but to think about how everything with her was just easy. Easy to tease, easy to joke with, easy to share secrets with.

That’s how things should be, right?

And then it spirals. Makes him think about his girlfriend from middle school, a smart girl with pretty hair that sat in front of him in class, who began going out with him when he shyly asked her out via letter. He could talk to her normally before, could ask her for pencils and for homework help, but once they began dating he couldn’t even do that much.

It’s weird, the way he acted so differently once romantic expectations were set up. There’d always been this tense aura of awkwardness around them, and he could vaguely tell that it annoyed her, but he was too chicken to do anything about it. He never thought it could happen with Yuri, who he always felt so comfortable, but here he was now.

He feels pathetic, agonizing over this when she’s probably thinking about Namjoon. Even if she does like him back, there’s a clawning fear in his gut that tells him that he’s never going to compare. He wonders how long she’d do that, seesaw herself over to him whenever Namjoon was unavailable. Moreover, he wonders how long he’d let her.

Everytime her little hands found themselves laced in his, the rate at which his thoughts dissipated and his heart melted became laughable. If she asked, he’d probably let her do whatever she wanted with him forever.

The tiny, selfish little devil on his shoulder whispers to Yoongi that he would possibly-maybe-kind-of be more compatible with her than Namjoon. Even without thinking too hard about it, he knows it’s a terrible thought just from the way it makes his stomach churn with guilt.

Namjoon and Yuri have known each other for several years longer than he’s known either of them. He’s nothing more than an interloper in this relationship, and it’s conceited of him to even think he has any kind of chance when he probably isn’t even in the running. The possibility of being in the running scares him more than it excites him, at this point.

So he ices her out.

With how frigid he’s gotten, it should come as no surprise that she wants to hang out more with the trainees at JYP and Source. These days, she’s been over in their dorms more often than she’s been in theirs. He only ever sees her in the studio. Even then, he only speaks to her indifferently, replying to her when it has to do with music and brushing off her attempts at small talk. It reminds him of his interactions with Namjoon back when they first met, tense and awkward and professional.

And speak of the devil.

“Hey,” he hears Namjoon say, his voice deep and distant at his studio door. “May I come in?”

“Sure,” he says thoughtlessly, not even bothering to look up from the song he’s producing on his computer. That changes when Namjoon seats himself on the seat next to his and he can practically feel the air go tense, forcing him to turn and give Namjoon his full attention. The way that his leader, who was a year younger than he was, could command so much authority with his presence alone was both admirable and terrifying.

“You’ve been avoiding Yuri,” Namjoon says. He immediately knows there’s no beating around the bush with this one. Regardless, he pushes his luck.

“I haven’t,” he lies through his teeth. Yoongi has never liked lying about matters of the heart. If it were anybody but Namjoon, he wouldn’t have, but he’s stuck between a rock and a hard place. Namjoon sighs, obviously in disbelief of the lie. Yoongi doesn’t blame him.

“Look,” he says. “I’m not asking you to tell me what’s wrong, or what happened between you two or whatever. If it was between two members of this group, then I would have to. It’s my job as leader to be responsible for you guys. But whatever is going on between you and Yuri? That’s your business. It’s not my job to keep up with our producers, no matter how much I might want to.”

“But you do want to,” Yoongi clarifies.

“Of course,” he says. “I mean, she’s not just a producer to me. She’s my friend. And so are you. So I’m asking you this as a friend, and not a leader.” Yoongi raises a brow.

“What are you asking?” he says.

“I don’t know. Just don’t be mad at each other anymore. Please.” Namjoon sounds impossibly desperate, hopeless in a way that feels incredibly out of character for him. “I don’t like seeing you guys mad at each other. Remember what Hitman Bang said? It’s okay if you wanna fight or yell or whatever. Just sort it out. I don’t know what she did, or what happened between you, but everyone seems pretty miserable without her around, including you. So please make up soon. Please don’t be mad at her anymore.”

“I’m not mad at her,” he says, and it’s the truth. If anything, he’s mad at himself—but not at her. Never at her. “It’s just… weird. I don’t know. But I’m not mad at her.”

“You think she knows that?” he says, and Yoongi’s heart immediately sinks.

“Probably not,” he admits, suddenly feeling a large wave of guilt wash over him. Now that he thinks about it, she’s probably been blaming herself this whole time. Yoongi’s face burns hot with shame.

“Then you should let her know.”

“Hey, can we talk?”

Yuri practically jumps in her seat, eyes widening like saucers as she whips around upon hearing the voice of Yoongi of all people at the studio door. She hesitates for a moment, but it’s not long before she gets up to let him in. Over the months, he’d gotten harder and harder for her to refuse.

“Okay,” she says as she unlocks the door, letting him into the studio. They’re face to face now, so much so that his incredible closeness reminds her just how much he towers over her. He always said that he was short, but he’s pretty tall to her. It only makes her all the more nervous.

She hasn’t had the opportunity to talk to Yoongi alone like this about something non-music related in months. She can’t beat around the bush with this one—she doesn’t know the next chance she’s going to get to say what she wants, so she has no choice but to say it outright.

“Let’s not fight anymore,” she says, gently dropping her head against his chest. It comes out soft and sad and a thousand times more pathetic-sounding than she’d originally intended. “I won’t kiss you anymore. We can pretend it never happened. Just talk to me again. I miss you.” The way her voice cracks breaks his heart into little pieces.

“We’re not—we’re not fighting, Yuri,” he assures her, stern and gentle all at once. Hesitantly, he brings an arm up around her to rub gentle circles into the small of her back. “We’re… disagreeing.”

“You’re not mad at me?”

“I’m not mad at you,” he says. “And even if I was, it wouldn’t be because you kissed me. Why would I be avoiding you because of that? I said that you could, didn’t I?”

“But you are mad,” she says.

“At me,” he clarifies. “Not at you.”

“Why?” she asks. “Yoongi, tell me.” He flushes, feeling incredibly trapped by the way her doe eyes look up at him. Refusing her wishes feels impossible, these days, so he supposes that honesty is the best policy in this case.

“Because I wanted you to kiss me again,” he admits, cheeks burning hot with shame. “Even though everything was fine as it already was.” Yuri blinks slowly at him upon his admission.

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“I think I get it,” she says, and despite being forgiven, he can’t help but frown at how understanding she’s being—it’s more than he deserves at this point, if he’s being honest.

“Yeah,” he says. “It’s scary.” Words are hard right now.

“I think it’s why I could never say anything,” she continues. “It’s so easy to love someone without them knowing, because you get to live off these happy little fantasies of being together and everything being perfect in your head. I think that’s why being loved back is scary. Because then anything is a possibility. It’s kind of like—it’s kind of like finishing a really good webtoon.” He chuckles softly at the comparison, fondly bumping his nose against hers. “It is! Because then you have nothing left and you’re hit with that post-webtoon depression, because the fun and the fantasies and the excitement are over and then you’re left to deal with the real world. And sometimes the real world means that everything changes, or that even if the person you want loves you back right now, they might change their mind later on. And that’s scary.”

“I still want to be able to talk to you like we used to,” he says. “But I also still want to kiss you. I don’t know. It’s weird.”

“Kiss me, then,” she says. “We don’t—we don’t have to think about it or talk about it or decide anything. Just kiss me. Please.”

And so he does.

It makes him shiver, the way she seems to shrink when her back presses against the wall, the way she feels so small when he cages her between his arms, the way her tiny hands find purchase against his chest before travelling up to wind behind his neck.

Yoongi can’t find it in himself to be afraid at that moment. He’d kiss Lim Yuri forever, if she let him.

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 245: The Second One

Previously on BnHA: We kicked off day one of New Internships with a fun-filled morning of shenanigans. Highlights included: (1) an old bearded man gallivanting around town telling everyone the world is going to end (and making a surprising amount of sense); (2) Bakugou and Deku attempting to rough up a group of impassioned hobos, only to have their thunder stolen from right underneath their noses; and (3) Hawks, the thunder-stealer himself, who proceeded to be all “what’s up fellas, hey Endeavor did you miss me?” Endeavor, who totally did miss him, pretended like he had not, and meanwhile Hawks introduced himself to Endeavor’s new trainees: Finger-Smashing Kid, Kid Who Used To Work For The Guy You Just Murdered, and Shouto (Just Shouto). Then he pulled out a copy of Re-Destro’s book and was all, “hey Endeavor have you heard of this book which was really important to the plot in the previous arc? I think you should read it, for reasons!!” and Endeavor just kind of stared at him, which wasn’t exactly inspiring. Anyways let’s see if these two idiots can manage to pull this off.

Today on BnHA: Hawks shoves the Liberation Army’s book into Endeavor’s hands while staring at him with the intensity of a thousand suns, and then, to avoid suspicion, proceeds to hand out another 500,000 copies of the book without even being asked. He then flies back to the PLF headquarters and is all “good news gentlemen, I gave out copies of the Army’s book to everyone in Japan!” and they’re all “that’s great, Hawks!” because somehow it turns out that this was actually a good plan. Back at the Endeavor Agency HQ, the kids meet Endeavor’s 30+ other sidekicks, who are all “now let’s all stand around and wait for Endeavor to tell us what to do.” Over in his office, Endeavor shrewdly deduces that Hawks was trying to tell him something, and pieces together the hidden code Hawks left in his book, which basically reads “IN FOUR MONTHS WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE.” Back at the PLF, the League cheerfully discusses their plot to blow up the entire world come Springtime. Which apparently everyone is on board with. So, uh, does anyone else feel like they accidentally fell asleep during a really important part of the movie, because uh. What.

(All comments are my unspoiled reactions from my initial readthrough of the chapter. I did a quick edit for grammar and clarity afterward, and added a few ETAs in the process, but aside from that there are no changes.)

okay so two things: (1) as I mentioned in a previous post, Caleb Cook reported that this chapter took him more than 4 times longer than usual to translate. so like, what does that mean?? guess we’re about to find out!

and (2) HAWKS’S REAL NAME. I started typing up this recap early just so I could liveblog my reaction, since it seems that the databook has leaked, and I figure I’m going to stumble across this sooner rather than later. so I’m just going to look it up now here goes!!

AHHHH TAKAMI KEIGO AHHHH

lol. I have no idea what that actually means. let me look up some more stuff about this

oooh thank you reddit!

ooh damn, I love it!? “hawk” + “vision” lolol HORIKOSHI BACK AT IT AGAIN. but “watchman” is a really nice bonus what with how it relates both to the whole spying biz, and in a more general sense toward what he is trying to do as a hero trying to protect society. plus the name “Keigo” just has a really nice sound to it in general. kind of a boyish, youthful sound. not too hard or soft. idk. I like it. that was my favorite character in Bleach too

also apparently both of the kanji used for “Keigo” mean “enlightenment” oooh. my god I could analyze this all day. this being Thursday night, I’ll have some time to ruminate before I read the chapter tomorrow, so if I have any epiphanies I will add them in later!

(ETA: no additional thoughts on this right now, but there is now a ton of other content out from Ultra Analysis, so let’s take a quick look at some of that!

Haagen Dazs’s gender:  I now feel vindicated in continuing to refer to him as a “he” even after the face reveal! let this be a lesson to everyone never to judge a shounen character solely by how pretty they are. not that it wouldn’t have been nice to have another female villain! anyways the important thing is that I still don’t have his name memorized and never will!

Thirteen’s gender?!: now this, I don’t really like. Thirteen was already in the previous databook IIRC and their gender was ambiguous. which to be frank was awesome. having a canon nonbinary character was sick. why you gotta do this now Horikoshi smdh.

Reason for Shouji’s mask: nooooo poor Shouji. people in quirk society are jerks! lol I get the arms being scary, but his face?? now I really want to see what he looks like though. it would be cool if he became more accepting of himself as a result of hanging with his chill classmates and decided to ditch the mask. anyways my boy needs a hug.

and there’s a lot of other stuff, including a whole series of cute segments showing the characters’ relationships with each other, but I think I’ll save those for another post because otherwise this would get way too off-track. but man, so far I’m really loving this.)

okay kiddos. it is now Friday, and time to take our horse to the hype town road. I have been waiting all fucking week for this shit so it had better not disappoint!

“Rising to Action” ooh, nice. guess this is not much of a “sit still” gang, here

okay so we’re picking off right where we left off, and guys, I just need to know, does anyone other than me find this kind of hilarious

like, I don’t know why but just. Endeavor’s face. omg. he just looks like he’s trying so hard to figure out what’s wrong. I think what it is is that this is the exact same bemused/perplexed expression that Shouto gets on his face all the freaking time, and it just tickles me to no end that the apple apparently doesn’t fall far from the tree. ahh Shouto I know you don’t want to hear this but damn boy you look like your dad

anyways. I think we can all agree Endeavor should not be looking this adorable and what the hell. let’s move on

LOOOOOOL

why is this so funny ahhhhhhh. they’re so fucking serious please stop. I mean, but of course they’re serious, though. the weird one is me, right? whatever!

so now here’s the handoff. between these two super-serious dudes

Endeavor you had better not do like me and be all “of course I’ll read it!” fully intending to follow through (really!) but then you never do and everyone is super disappointed and you start to read something else instead, all the while feeling incredible guilt! my point is, Endeavor, I hope you don’t have ADHD or we’re all fucking screwed omg

lol though thankfully we have a backup!

“oh boy!” clamors Deku, a gleam of excitement in his eye. “homework!”

OH MY GOD

WHO ARE YOU, OPRAH

ff now he’s just SLAPPING THEM INTO THEIR HANDS omg. this is amazing

love how Katsuki is keeping an extra 1.5 meters of space in between him and the others because cooties. or something

anyways! I really want them all to read it actually so this is awesome! KACCHAN YOU ESPECIALLY. I want you to read it and then give it a disgusted 1 star review on goodreads. show me how much you’ve grown kiddo

lmaooo

Todoroki Shouto. god’s perfect idiot. bless this child. someone explained Occam’s razor to him one day, and he just sat there nodding like “yes that makes perfect sense” and proceeded to apply it to every fucking thing in his life from there on out. “what’s Hawks doing carrying around 10,000 copies of The Book of PLF and just handing them out to strangers like an old lady on Halloween? processing... processing... oh I see, he probably just REALLY LIKES THE BOOK how keen”

this is what Hawks is up against. this squad of certified morons with two whole brain cells shared among them on a good day. boy literally brought three backup secret messages just in case Endeavor was too dense to figure this out, only to watch these kids exclaim, with perfect sincerity, “GOSH, HAWKS MUST REALLY LIKE THIS BOOK, HUH”

and meanwhile the best Endeavor can do is “............something.......... feels.... off.......” fml. we’re all gonna die. Hawks, I’m sorry. you tried!! next time give Momo your secret message instead!

so now he says that he’s actually recommending this book to all of his acquaintances omg. don’t tell me this handsome canary is actually going around handing out books to every single person he knows?? all to cover up this one action of giving Endeavor the book with the secret message highlighted in it?? okay guys help me decide: is this brilliance or stupidity? like, what is even going on inside Hawks’s head. “I’ll just fly around handing out copies of Atlas Fucking Shrugged to everyone I meet. that’ll seem really natural”

I s2g Endeavor if you don’t follow up on this...! THE WORLD IS COUNTING ON YOU YOU BIG MEATHEAD. GET TO READIN’. MAKE LEVAR PROUD

and now Hawks is flying away with his hands in his pockets

godspeed you dramatically casual bastard

now Deku is all “you know, he’s not much older than us, but he really seems like he’s got his shit together!” which, yeah. don’t you hate that? the truth is though it’s all an act, and he’s actually just as screwed up as the rest of you! the moral is: never trust any 22-year-old who seems like they’ve got their shit together. because, no. he sits on a throne of lies

Endeavor are you actually being thoughtful??!

oh my god. we may actually have a chance here. praise be

now we are cutting to the Endeavor agency! guys, fucking look at this fucking ‘E’, though

ngl that shit is dope. I’m mad. I would buy his merch just for the logo and I hate that about myself

holy shit

the... flaming hot... oh my god

holy shit there’s so many of them

(ETA: hold up -- “Bakugou” and “Shouto”? this is a crucial detail here; they’re using Bakugou’s last name, but Shouto’s given name. so either they’re calling him Shouto because they know his pop, or -- more likely -- they’re calling him “Shouto” because that’s his hero name. in which case, “Bakugou” most likely also refers to “Bakugou” as in the hero name, not his actual name. meaning that still is his hero name. meaning he is still undecided. fucking... Katsuki. honey. why.

ffff and the new databook seems to support this too. instead of a hero name, Horikoshi just wrote “XXX” indicating he still hasn’t made up his mind. welp. looks like it’s back on that slow burn character development train, folks. maybe by the end of this arc, though? please? Horikoshi? Horikoshi damn it look at me.)

so this is how the number one operates, huh. meanwhile All Might only ever had one sidekick, and reluctantly at that. he really was so far out ahead of everyone else that he was basically untouchable. crazy

anyways, yes! they don’t know anything about anything so please teach them!

good grief this girl says Endeavor has over thirty sidekicks?? lmao and her name is “Burnin’.” please tell me the missing g is an actual part of her name please I need this

wow, Burnin’ really went and tried to pick a fight with my famously hot-tempered son knowing full well what his personality is like. and just look at him keeping his cool and firing back though

oh, Katsuki. [hair ruffle] he will thrive here

damn these guys are passionate

Endeavor seriously picked these people as his sidekicks? that Endeavor? they didn’t annoy the shit out of him?? that man is an enigma

btw can we all just stop here for a moment and give a shoutout to this horse-looking dude because. look at him. amazing. new fave

anyway so now the mummy-looking guy is explaining how they organize their shift schedule

so professional. this really is the big leagues

yoooooo my boy is FIRED UP. READY TO SAVE SOME BITCHES! YESSSSS WIN AND RESCUE LET’S DO THIS

LET’S FUCKING GOOOO omg I love him so much. Kacchan you need to cool it or I’m going to spend this whole fucking chapter ruffling your hair

(ETA: incidentally, here’s something I neglected to point out earlier: in spite of being a belligerent asshole in general, Katsuki for the most part is actually surprisingly respectful to most adults, especially heroes. so it’s interesting then that so far, this doesn’t seem to apply to Hawks. he almost seems to consider him another rival rather than another mentor/teacher-type figure to learn from. I wonder if this is because -- as Deku pointed out earlier this chapter -- Hawks is much closer to them in age than the other heroes. it’s interesting that that was pointed out -- and that in the very next panel Katsuki was grumbling about how Hawks pisses him off, at that.

anyway. this BakuHawks rivalry seems to be an established thing now, so I’m very curious to see how this develops.)

lol now Mummy Guy is all “that’s great! now we just need to wait for Endeavor to tell us what to do!” and Kacchan is like “WHAT”

I mean, he’s got a point lol. “we’re so busy!” “great let’s get to work!” “actually we don’t have any work yet!” like, what a fucking tease. don’t worry Kacchan, they’re just waiting to make sure they assign you boys a job that’s plot-related so we don’t waste any time

ahhh, and now we finally come to the moment we’ve all been waiting for! the part that apparently took four hours to translate! ENDEAVOR READING A BOOK

yeah he was acting like he had a freaking gun to his head. why don’t heroes have secret code phrases they can use to let each other know some weird fucking shit is up? or maybe they do, but since he’s being recorded and since PLF has some heroes on roster who probably know those same codes (looking at you, Slidin’), Hawks didn’t want to risk one of them figuring it out. that makes sense

ahhh, here we go

don’t tell me Caleb tried to translate this whole thing. though I gotta admit I am hella curious

anyway. so the rest of this page is Endeavor metaing about Hawks, and it’s some good stuff, ngl

he really is fond of him, huh. look at all those pictures. how many mental snapshots did you take of this kid smiling?? he’s so adopted it hurts

and look at the concern in that last panel! “why is he acting so weird, that’s not like him, I’ve got to get to the bottom of this.” damn, Hawks really did put his trust in the exact right person and it’s paying off

ENDEAVOR STOP MAKING THESE SOFT WORRIED FACES ABOUT HAWKS RIGHT THIS INSTANT I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR THESE FEELS

god damn!! I don’t know why, but I continue to be surprised and impressed at how the character development of Endeavor is actually a subscribe and save deal and not just a one-time purchase. fucking look at Todoroki Enji, proud annual recipient of a different “world’s worst dad” mug every Father’s Day, actually caring enough about another human being to notice the subtle changes in his behavior and realize something is wrong. bruh. good for you!! human compassion is a damn good look for you, negl. fucking growth right here and I’m here for it

anyways, on to the hidden code!

and here are all of the highlighted portions for your code-breaking pleasure

fucking feel like I’m reading Detective Conan right now. yeesh

oooh!

BINGPOT LOOOOOL WHY DID I GET SO EXCITED OKAY LET ME GO BACK AND READ!

“the” “enemy” “liberation” “army” ahhhhhh! HAWKS YOU SNEAKY SON OF A BITCH. GOOD JOB ENDEAVOR!

and now we’re cutting back to Hawks, nooooo I wanted to see Endeavor’s reaction! come on!

lmao although it’s worth it to see Hawks mentally roasting Endeavor exactly like I was mere pages ago omg

his fucking face omg. that’s right Hawks, he’s not the brightest crayon in the box. not the sharpest tack in the bulletin board. he’s a few fries short of a happy meal. the elevator doesn’t go all the way to the top floor

but give him some credit, though! because he did figure it out! not necessarily because he was clever, but because he knows you!

oh shit lol

OH SO YOU PLANNED THAT PART TOO. WELL OKAY THEN

goddamn. he really is a clever bastard. and okay but in all seriousness, I fucking love that he has enough faith in this weird connection between them that out of all the ploys he could have gone with, this is what he chose. he seriously put all his eggs in the “Endeavor will figure it out from my face” basket. and it fucking paid off. this is awesome

AHHHHHHHHHHHH HERE WE GO

LOOK AT HIS EYE OH MY GOD. YOU CAN SEE THE EXACT MOMENT WHEN HE REALIZES HOW SCREWED THEY ALL ARE, YES, FUCK, THIS IS WHAT I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR OH GOD

and we’re cutting back to Hawks again! I’ll just assume the rest of his message went something like “we” “are” “boned” and Endeavor’s face was like :o

BACK AT THE OL’ VILLAIN HOTEL!!!

LOL WHAT IS THIS

THEY HAVE A FUCKING COUNCIL NOW

whose seat is that over on the left? Hawks’s? is Gigantomachia actually wearing a shirt?? AND SHOW US TOMURA’S FACE HORIKOSHI YOU COWARD

lmao oh my god are they really buying this shit

look at him. so trustworthy. nothing to suspect over here! just a 100% sincere born-again villain committed to the cause!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

NOOOOOO MY BABIES ARE EXPOSED. HORIKOSHI YOU BETTER PROTECT THEM I SWEAR TO GOD!!!

wow is the whole conversation just shifting over to the topic of Deku now, seriously?

oh my god oh my god oh my god. like. it’s been so long since the forest lodge and Kamino that I almost forgot that the League already knows these kids. they did fight Deku and Shouto briefly in the woods, and then they had an extended fight against Katsuki later on, although Dabi was unconscious for that part. anyways, shit. just like that they’re on their radar again I’m getting chills omgggg

(ETA: at least they’re underestimating them, though. “looks like he hasn’t gotten much stronger.” boy have you not heard about his bloop? that bloop will fuck you up just you wait!)

so now have some weird panels of Hawks walking through a door

(ETA: ohhhh you can see the door closing on the tip of his wing close-up! sneaky!)

ooh! wtf are you serious he can use his feathers to eavesdrop?!

(ETA: it only just clicked on my second read-through that Spinner of all people appears to be the mastermind behind this plan? like, am I reading this right? is he Tomura’s second-in-command now or what? damn, boy, good for you.)

okay, question. if he could do this the entire time, why did they even need him to pretend to join the League at all? I guess you never know when having a man on the inside who can possibly influence their decision-making will come in handy. but still, it seems to me like he could have easily done the spying bit without ever having to join up. ehhh but I guess there’s probably a range limit, and too much risk of the feathers getting caught and destroyed... eh, fine. I’ll allow it

AHHHHHHHHHHHH

WHAT THE FUCK WHAT EXCUSE ME WHAT?????

AND OF COURSE THAT’S THE END OF THE CHAPTER, LOL, FUCK. EXCUSE ME WHILE I GO STAND IN A CORNER AND SCREAM

lol “danger lurks” fucking you think?? what the hell! so they have an actual plan already, with the details outlined to the extent that they actually have a freaking timetable and everything? and the Liberation Army is on board with this whole thing too? the “destroying everything” part and all? this is too much to process all at once fuck me I can’t

okay! so four months from now is also when the kids will enter their second year! so that means Shinsou can get in on this action too. I’m trying to think of other significant plot things this could potentially imply, but none are coming to mind right now, other than it’ll be the anniversary of USJ. but that’s basically it. -- oh, wait, this also means that there’ll be a new first-year class of students at U.A. too! so that could be interesting. some potential new characters, and a chance for Deku and the others to be senpais. incidentally, to the best of my knowledge the kids will all stay in the same class and Aizawa will continue to be their homeroom teacher in year two. so nothing will change really aside from them becoming 2-A rather than 1-A. and Shinsou joining them, as mentioned. omg

anyway! let me see, any other stray thoughts before I wrap this up? I guess it’s worth noting that Toga’s eye is fine. the League has healed up pretty nicely in general actually. like, that’s seriously impressive for a group that doesn’t have Recovery Girl on staff. how long has it even been since Deika? a few weeks? this is almost ridiculous

and the “boom” -- is that literal? like they’re actually planning to blow everything up? or is that a metaphorical boom. fucking what kind of plan did they come up with where they actually think they can destroy THE ENTIRETY OF JAPAN all at once? is there a doomsday device?? what exactly is this “power” they’re talking about? HAWKS WHY DIDN’T YOU PUT THAT IN YOUR STUPID MESSAGE YOU BOOB

hahaha. anyways. it came down to the last two pages, but that certainly was a reveal worthy of all the hype. to sum: yikes

[purplefairywriter]

Where / Ever

Hobi is a warrior training to become a paladin: a warrior who wields a sword in one hand and the texts of a god in the other. However, he finds himself victim to a strange set of nightmares that change his course in life forever. [BTS fantasy AU fic set in a D&D/RPG-like (so medieval fantasy) world. 4.5k words, stand-alone. Doesn’t go on and on about any religion, real or fake, a great deal. No pairings, just J-Hope being J-Hope in a way. This is gonna be a trip, so settle down for a ride.] Enjoy your freaky Friday the 13th, y’all!  _____________________________________________________   Hobi woke up that morning drenched in sweat. The sun shone in from his window, illuminating his room. He groaned and lifted his blanket over his head. With each passing day, the day of his great final exam was drawing closer. The fighting test that would ensure that he’d become a paladin. Despite it being a childhood dream, now that he was closer to achieving it, the more he longed to just stay in bed until there were no more gods. A knock at his door made him sit up in bed. “Hobi, come on! You’re late! The Grandmaster is going to have you by the ears for this!” Hobi recognized that voice as one of his fellow paladins-in-training. Hobi groaned before rubbing his eyes and getting out of bed.  “Okay, okay, I’m workin’ on it!” Hobi said as he clumsily got dressed. His hair was a wild, untamed mess. It clashed with the simple elegance of his light plate armor. Hobi, like all good paladins, spent an inordinate amount of time ensuring that his armor shined. Over the years, he had grown convinced that this wasn’t just to ensure the armor’s upkeep but to also attempt to blind any opponents with the awesome nature of a paladin’s armor. Hobi stumbled out of his room. He went towards the direction of the main eating hall only for one of his fellow trainees to grab him by the arm. “Come on, sleepyhead. You slept in too late. Again. Grandmaster said no breakfast for late sleepers.” Hobi grumbled as he walked side by side with his fellow student. As they walked outdoors towards the training ring, Hobi covered his eyes to keep the sun from blinding him. The lush green fields and the bright sun made for a beautiful day. Hobi only frowned when he saw the rest of his fellow trainees standing in a circle with the Grandmaster in the center. Hobi calmly walked over. Two trainees moved to make space for him. “Late again, are we?” The Grandmaster stopped in the middle of his previous speech to ask that. “Yes, Grandmaster,” Hobi said with as little enthusiasm as possible.  The Grandmaster sighed before continuing his speech about how the circle of life worked. Or that’s what Hobi assumed. He began to tune out the speeches on right and wrong long ago. Deep down he knew their version of right and wrong was wrong.  “He has to be the worst paladin I’ve ever seen.” Hobi tuned in just in time to hear someone across from him whispering that. “I know! I’m surprised Grandmaster hasn’t fussed at him about his hair…” Another person whispered. Hobi sighed. He knew they were talking about him. He was the butt of jokes for his training group. Ever since he had first arrived as a snot-nosed teenager, they had ridiculed him. So Hobi threw himself into training to be a great paladin. Now that he was among the top students of his class, despite his manners and appearance, it drove his fellow students mad. Lately, however, Hobi felt himself starting to slip... “Hobi!” The Grandmaster snapped. Hobi looked up and towards the Grandmaster. “Yes, Grandmaster?” Hobi asked. “You see a burning house. You go to investigate it. You see a mother and child inside, both still alive but struggling to get out. You also see an altar of evil in the home. What do you do?” The Grandmaster asked.  Hobi stood there. I hate these stupid tests, it’s all about morals. It’s not about what techniques you’d actually use. Hobi scratched the back of his neck before answering. “I’d rush in and save them,” Hobi said with a degree of confidence that made his comrades’ stomach churn. “No, you wouldn’t. A good paladin would leave them be.” The Grandmaster said with a frown. “You’re telling me that just because you see possible proof of wrong-doing, you’d leave two people to die?” Hobi exclaimed. The group gasped as he spoke out of turn.  “There is right and there is wrong, Hobi. Evil in any form cannot be condoned.” “Yes, but maybe they weren’t evil! Many times, a tribe of barbarians take over and replace the local population’s gods with evil ones. On the pain of death, they have to get rid of their old gods or get killed!” Hobi said. His attempt to restrain himself in a more subdued way of speaking failed as he grew more enraged.The other trainees in the circle whispered among each other. Hobi sighed, knowing they were insulting him and his words. “You can’t punish people for what is out of their control. Maybe the mother and child had no choice but to put the altar-” Hobi started. “That’s how the degeneracy begins, students. You let one person slip through the cracks and into evil. Then before you know it, the entire countryside is engulfed in darkness.” The Grandmaster said. The tone in his voice let Hobi know all he needed to know. Hobi frowned. I’ve done nothing but disappoint people since I got here... He thought. “Do you even know the procedure for saving people?” The Grandmaster asked after a moment of nothing but the other trainees whispering among themselves. “I… um…” Hobi said as he scratched the back of his neck. “… you save people?” The Grandmaster sighed. “Hobi. What do you do after that?” “Wish them well?” The Grandmaster shook his head at Hobi’s response. “No. You’re supposed to teach them about the gods. Haven’t you been paying any attention?” Hobi knew replying either way would result in harsh words. So he decided not to reply at all. The Grandmaster rolled his eyes and waved his hand dismissively. “Just… go back to your room. Go get some sleep, you clearly are lacking that.” The Grandmaster tried to say that in as caring a tone as he could. Hobi, however, only heard the excuse he was given to leave. Hobi sighed and walked off towards his room. Hobi stared at the austerity of his room. I hate it here. Was the only pressing thought on his mind. I’m not allowed to be myself here. I used to be so different. I’d laugh, I’d shout… now I can’t do any of that. I have to be this shell that spouts out whatever propaganda the Grandmaster feels is appropriate. Hobi closed his door, changed into more comfortable clothes, and sat on his bed. He had not pulled his curtains closed to block out the sunlight. He happened to look out the window when he heard a songbird warbling in the distance. The world isn’t a scary place. Yes, there may be scary parts of it. But there’s so much beauty. I don’t think people can be straight good or straight evil. Hobi sighed as he turned away from the window. He began to try and lay down when a sharp caw snapped him out of his thoughts and into reality. Hobi looked back towards his windowsill to see a crow sitting there. He sat up. For a split second he eyed the sword he kept near his door. The crow tilted its head and cawed again. Something about the way the crow stared at him caused Hobi to feel uneasy. I know that crow. I swear I do… He thought as he stood up. Just as he reached out to touch the crow, the crow flew off. Hobi stared out the window wondering if it would come back before he sat back down on the bed. Eventually, he laid back down on the bed. When Hobi awoke again, it was dark. The full moon was the only thing illuminating his room. What awoke him was the sound of the crow again, cawing on his windowsill. Hobi got out of bed again, and like earlier, tried to touch the crow. This time, instead of flying away, it vanished in thin air. Hobi gasped before letting out a groan. Not another dream, please… He thought as he heard a knock at his door. Hobi opened his door, ready to tell off whoever was bothering him. Instead of seeing the normal hallways of his training grounds, but a white room with a wooden table in the center. Hobi hesitated at the doorframe for a moment. Two men were sitting at the table. Hobi didn’t recognize one of them. He looked to be a bit older than Hobi was and wore glasses. The other man, however, Hobi felt like he recognized. His short, shorter than Hobi’s hair at that moment, seemed to be a dirty blond. When the blond man looked up, he smiled, revealing his dimples. Hobi stood there, staring at the man, trying to remember who he was. I know his face, but I don’t… I don’t know his name. But I should know his name! But I don’t… Hobi thought. “J-Hope hyung! You look like you didn’t know we were meeting today. Which is funny because you are late…” The blond man said in a jovial tone. Hobi looked over his shoulder, trying to find who this J-Hope person was. The older man laughed and shook his head. “You know he’s always a joker.” That statement made the two men chuckle a bit before the blond man invited Hobi into the room and to have a seat. Hobi sighed. Great. Another weird dream. What is it going to be this time, me getting eaten by herd of a giant sheep? Hobi shrugged and sat down in a chair close to the man. “So! I know we’ve already discussed making this album a series of solo songs for each member of the group, yes?” The older man asked. “Yes.” The blond man said. “But we still have to do that comeback trailer. I know we discussed themes for the album, but I… I don’t think that temptation is a good idea for a theme. Especially for a comeback trailer, people may think our album is just… I don’t know.” Hobi looked at the older man before looking at the blond man. I shouldn’t add anything, should I? He asked himself. When the older man turned towards him, Hobi knew that staying quiet wasn’t an option. Okay, it’ s only a dream. It’s not like whatever I do is going to affect anyone’s future, right?  “I mean… Temptation is a great theme, I think. Doesn’t everyone deal with temptation? I mean, don’t we all want things we’re not supposed to?” Hobi asked. The grin on his face disappeared once he realized that both the older man and the blond man were staring at him. “That is true, you know, Rap Monster.” The older man said. The blond man nodded. “You were having a hard time writing the lyrics for the comeback trailer, I know. Why not let J-Hope help? After all, we were talking about making it his comeback trailer…” Hobi felt his jaw slack as shock took over him. “L-lyrics?” RM chuckled and shook his head. Hobi nearly started to frown when RM’s smile faded. RM sighed. “J-Hope hyung, I wasn’t making fun of you. I thought you were kidding! You make a lot of jokes. There’s a reason people call you the sunshine of the group, you know. Look. How about you, Pdogg and I work on the lyrics for this? Then you can rap it or sing it, you can make your own dance routine too! That’d be cool, don’t you think?” RM said with such enthusiasm that Hobi found it impossible to say no. Until he remembered something. “But… But I can’t sing or dance. And I don’t know what rapping is.” Hobi said in a serious tone. Instead of chuckling, RM just shot a wary glance over towards Pdogg. “Don’t tell me you’ve been listening to those netizens again. Don’t listen to them, they don’t have any idea what they’re talking about. You are one of the best dancers I’ve ever met. And your rapping? Without you, our rap line wouldn’t be so great!” RM said to diffuse the situation. It worked as Hobi smiled at his words. “But we’ll focus on the lyrics for now and we’ll worry about the singing, dancing and all of that later.” “And you can’t forget the MV,” Pdogg said in a voice barely above a whisper. A ringing noise made Pdogg sigh before taking a strange object out of his pocket and looking at it. “I’m sorry boys, but I have to go. We’ve already gone over what lyrical offerings I have to offer. Bye!”  Pdogg got up and began to leave the room. Hobi watched him as he left. “What? I… What’s an M-” Hobi began before just shaking his head. They haven’t answered any of my questions so far, why are they gonna start now? They clearly think I’m someone else. Pdogg closed the door behind him, further making sure that Hobi’s questions would be unanswered. Hobi looked back at RM and cleared this throat before speaking up. “Let’s get started.” “Good, now I have some lines I thought of for the song. I have the hook, I believe, but I can’t think of the first verse.” RM said as he opened up a notebook. Inside were a bunch of notes and scribbles, with one page titled ‘comeback trailer’. He pushed the notebook towards Hobi. “See, I only have bits and pieces for the first verse.” Words like ‘this love is another name for the devil’, ‘but because of my uncontrollable greed’, and ‘because of my childish love’ all jumped out at Hobi. He poured over what RM had written so far. Hobi felt like the lyrics that RM had written so far were capturing what Hobi himself truly had been feeling lately. Despite never having met the man before… “What about, for this line ‘because of my childish love’, it ends with ‘I lost my way’ or something. Something about a dream you had but you abandoned it for something better?” Hobi suggested. RM nodded. “How about ‘I lost my way on a path of a dream’?” RM asked as he began to write those words down. “Sounds good!” Hobi said, watching RM write. “Any ideas for the first line?” RM asked. “I was thinking something about light…”  It took a moment for Hobi to realize that RM was still talking. It was just that Hobi couldn’t hear him. Hobi reached out to touch RM when he heard another knock at the door. It was louder, more insistent than the previous one. Hobi stood up and slowly went to the door. Hobi pressed his ear against the door to ear someone on the other side, muffled, telling him to hurry up. Hobi opened the door to find a man about his age with yellowish blond hair. He had bangs that covered his eyebrows but somehow his face was able to carry a great deal of expression without visible eyebrows. The stranger smiled a little once Hobi came out of the room. A very toothy but somehow attractive smile. “I thought you were dead or something.” The man said in a slightly teasing tone. “I… I was um… I was just writing lyrics.” Hobi said, trying to remember whatever words this dream wanted him to use. “Really?” The man’s voice dripped with interest. “I didn’t know you were planning on a follow-up for your mixtape so soon, Hoseok-hyung. That explains a lot. Usually, I’m the one who stays in my hotel room all day while the rest of you decide to go do whatever.”  Hobi smiled. He’s my friend. He thought as he watched the man shrug. I don’t know how I know that, but he’s my friend.  “I just wanted to tell you that…” The man cut off his words as he turned towards the wall behind him. An odd portal seemed attached to the wall behind them out in the hallway. There was a little chime playing, one that Hobi felt he had heard before as he watched the white screen faded into a black one. Hobi was confused as to what he was seeing. Flashing images of a bunch of things that Hobi felt he recognized began whatever it was he was watching. Hobi’s eyes widened as he realized that in one of the brief clips he saw himself with a group of other men. When he saw what looked like was his profile standing there in the shadows, his mind began to race. That can’t be me. There’s no way that can be- His jaw dropped when the shot lit up and revealed it was indeed him. Hobi was still in denial right up until he heard himself singing. For about the next three minutes, Hobi stood there, his eyes transfixed on that odd portal as he watched himself. He found himself chuckling as the copy of him in that portal proclaimed ‘wherever my way’. The way the portal him said that reminded real-life Hobi of how he used to be before the paladin training set in. Perhaps that reminder was what made Hobi grin ear to ear as he video on the portal came to a close. Hobi swore he felt tears forming in his eyes as he watched the portal version of him sitting on top of a building, lit up by the bright lights of the city. The video ended and the man chuckled. Hobi snapped his head over towards him. He had forgotten where he was and who he was with. The man was smiling, which relieved Hobi in some way. “That turned out really well!” The man said. “I think it perfectly captures who you are based on the beats alone. I’m glad they used some samples from the intro from our debut album... We’ve come a long way since we debuted, haven’t we?” Unsure of what to say, Hobi only nodded in response. “I still wish we could go to just one hotel without people knowing who we are, though. It was kind of cool that they decided to play your comeback trailer.” The man said in a whisper. Hobi wanted to ask him why that was when the man spoke again. “Look, I’m going to go rest up. That was a very good MV though, everything about it was great! Maybe you should write more songs.” The man said as he patted Hobi’s shoulder. Before Hobi could even mutter thanks, the man walked off, leaving Hobi to look around the hallway. Just as Hobi thought of walking further down the hallway, there was a knock on the door behind him. Hobi turned and placed a hand on the doorknob. He waited to hear some noise from behind the door. Only silence. Hobi opened the door to find himself standing in front of a dark forest at night. The trees looked gnarled and blackened by the light of the full moon. Crickets were the only noise he could hear. Hobi braced himself for the worst. This is only a dream. He reminded himself over and over. He walked out into the forest. As he took a few steps in, he heard the door behind him close. He turned around to see that the door was gone. There was the only forest both behind and in front of him. A cawing noise made Hobi look up at one of the tall trees in front of him. A crow was perched upon a high branch, eyeing the young man. Hobi swallowed hard. The crow tilted its head to the other side to stare at him through its other eye. An eye that was unnaturally blue. Hobi took a deep breath. This is only a dream. He reminded himself again. The crow flew down from the branch. It swooped down near Hobi, who cowered when it flew past him. Hobi stood back up once he was sure the crow was gone. The crow cawed again from behind him, where it sat on a tree stump. Hobi sighed. “What do you want, huh?” Hobi asked the crow. “I know this is just a dream, okay? Can’t you just… go away so I can wake up?” The crow cawed again. This time, the caw transformed into laughter. A cloud of black feathers surrounded the crow. Once the cloud disappeared, a human man was sitting there on the tree stump. His hair was pitch black, as if Hobi was staring at a void instead of hair, as were his clothes and eyes. His eyes seemed to lack a human glow to them. Hobi closed his eyes for a moment to remind himself once again that this was not reality. “Why would you want to wake up? Don’t you like your dreams?” The strange man asked. His voice sounded both mysterious and ordinary. Hobi opened his eyes to see the man sitting there still. “I… I do, but… they’re just dreams.” Hobi said. The man sighed as he stood up. “Then you aren’t ready.” The man began to walk away. “Wait! Not ready for what?” Hobi asked. The man laughed before turning back around to face him with his arms crossed. “Ready for the truth.” Hobi felt himself squint at the man, much to the man’s delight. “You’re the only one who has the dreams, you know. The rest of them don’t.” The man said. “I know that I know that the rest of the trainees don’t have these dreams,” Hobi said. “No, no. That’s not what I meant.” The man sighed a heavy sigh. “There’s seven of you, you’re one of them.” “Seven?” “Yes, seven. Seven of you who were taken from one reality and placed into another.” “And how am I one of them?” The man rolled his eyes.“You were brought here by someone who doesn’t want you messing with that reality anymore. In the other reality… Your dreams are the reality, Hobi. Your nightmares? They aren’t nightmares. Your life in this reality is the nightmare.” Hobi began to shake his head. The words ‘that is impossible’ were about to cross his lips when the man continued. “There are six others. All of you have to defeat the darkness in this reality to get back to your real reality. In the real world, you are famous beyond anyone’s wildest dreams, Jung Hoseok. Your restlessness, your dreams are all a result of the real world, the real you wanting to exist and be real again. To do that, you must defeat the one person who wants to keep you here. The one person whose goal is to keep the people across all realities unhappy.” “Where will I find that person?” Hobi’s words spurted out before he got a chance to contain them. “You can’t defeat that person alone.” The man said. He snapped his fingers and a wooden box appeared in front of Hobi. “Go on, pick it up.” Hobi hesitated for a moment. The man’s glance urged him to do as he demanded. Hobi lifted the box, expecting it to be heavy. It was lightweight. Hobi opened the lid of it. Seven ribbons, each one a unique color, were laid out. He managed to pick out the one that caught his eye. A silver ribbon, which glowed gently in the moonlight. The man chuckled. Hobi looked up at him as he felt the box disappear from his hand. “You will get your calling soon enough. You and the six others will bring peace to the land and then you may return to your own reality.” “But… how do I know you’re not lying? Or that this isn’t just some weird dream? How will I know those six others? How will we-” Hobi’s voice grew frantic as the information finally set in. “You only need to know that you will know those things and the answers to them in time.” The man said. Before Hobi could ask another question, the man dissipated into a cloud of black feathers. The man’s last statement rang in Hobi’s ears as he began to wake. Hobi sat up in his own bed at the knocking at his door. At first, he ignored it. I could still be asleep. Hobi reminded himself. The knocking grew more frenzied the longer Hobi waited. He made sure he was at least dressed decently before opening the door.  An elf stood outside the door. Hobi knew he was gawking at her for he had never seen an elf before. He had heard the countless rumors that elves were pretty, but he never thought they could be that pretty. If he was more awake, he would have thought of something interesting to say to her. Something about her pretty black hair or the faint freckles that ran across her nose and cheeks. Maybe even something about her green eyes.  “Are you Hobi?” She asked curtly. “Yeah, that’s me,” Hobi said as he leaned in the doorway. He laughed nervously at realizing she was a bit taller than he was. That and the fact he nearly lost his footing trying to look relaxed by leaning against the door’s frame. His confident tone seemed to outshine his slip up as she did not seem to notice. She nodded her head in acknowledgment of his answer. “Message for you. From the king.” She said as she handed him an envelope.  Hobi took it, expecting he would be able to finally interject some kind of one-liner when she just walked off. He sighed as he looked down at his envelope. There was nothing on the front, but a red seal with Elvish writing on it on the back. I can’t read that. I hope I can read the letter… Hobi thought as he ripped open the envelope. He pulled out the single piece of parchment paper.  The paper only had a few sentences on it, written in clear cursive.  The time is now. Be at The Crested Dragon at dark tonight. Your quest begins now, Hobi.  It was unsigned. Hobi shook his head at the letter. His name was right and he knew where that inn was, it was right in town. This can’t be right. This isn’t for me, I don’t know any elves, let alone an Elvish king- His thumb brushed over an unfamiliar texture. He moved his thumb to see a silver ribbon identical to the one from his dream. He closed his eyes for a moment as the man’s last sentence rang in his head. You only need to know that you will know those things and the answers to them in time…  Hobi packed all of his things. He showed the letter to the Grand Master, who gave him permission to leave his training as long as he called himself a ‘probationary paladin’, do good by the order, and came back to training as soon as he was done. The Grand Master seemed more concerned with the seal rather than the letter’s contents. As Hobi walked away from the training compound where he had spent the last few years of his life in misery, he hummed to himself. He was grinning with the knowledge that he would never, ever come back. He accidentally bumped into another trainee coming back inside. “Hey!” The trainee cried. “Where do you think you’re going?” Hobi thought for a moment. The look on the trainee’s face let Hobi knew the man was looking for a fight. Instead of apologizing, Hobi only shrugged. “Wherever my way is,” Hobi said lightly as he walked off. 

[bggestnerd]

task 01 :: 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓲𝓷𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓻𝓸𝓰𝓪𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷

she bullied me .. why would i want to know her?

PART ONE

Do you have any criminal history? Anything big or small that you want to make us aware of?

" i mean . . . ” eleanor shrugged. “ when i was younger and still living with my family, we would steal things from stores ... ” was that considered criminal history? --- they never got caught doing it. “ nothing big or anything. some junk food, individual drinks .. things we needed but didn’t have enough money to get. ” she had never really told anyone about that; that her family stole things to get through the days. but it was better than starving, her older brother had always told her. she believed him. “ we never got caught. ” she spent a moment in thought. “ other than that, i can’t think of anything else? ”

What is your connection to Daisey? How did you know her? How well did you know her?

eleanor felt as though she wanted to roll her eyes. but stopped herself before she could. “ she bullied me. ” mercilessly, elle wanted to add. the brunette sank into the chair, crossing her arms. she didn’t want to seem suspicious .. she knew that being bullied would likely be seen as motive. but of course, she could never. “ why would i want to know her? she was .. mean. your typical head bitch in charge. ” one eyebrow arched. “ i didn’t hate her though. ” hate was a strong word. and it was true, eleanor didn’t hate daisey. “ i mean, there was obviously a reason why she bullied me --- i just never figured it out. ”

Have you visited the blog site “veritasexposed”? If you have, how credible do you find the information on this site? Do you know who runs the website?

" god ... yes, i have. ” eleanor instantly felt anxiety rise in her body. that blonde. the one person who could most definitely raise hell in the school other than daisey. “ she seems to know her stuff. i mean, i don’t know for certain if everything she says is one hundred percent true but .. ” elle cleared her throat, wondering what other people were saying for this particular question. she pulled her hair out of her face and tied it into a ponytail. “ i don’t know her, no. honestly .. i sometimes wonder if she even goes here. ” she did -- clearly. how else would she have known everyone, their secrets & not to mention daisey herself? unless she was simply that sneaky. that low of a person.

PART TWO

Do you remember where you were the night Daisey went missing? If so, where were you? What were you doing? Who were you with?

" I was in my room, playing zelda. ” she replied almost instantly. “ i still have the save file from that night if you want proof .. it has the time stamp on it, too. ” proof ... she felt weird saying it. when she was originally accepted into uni, she didn’t expect anything like this to happen. being a suspect for a murder. it sucked --- knowing you didn’t do it but people are still suspicious of you. “ i was alone that night. i didn’t want to go out or be with anyone ... ” which in reality, wasn’t unusual for eleanor. she liked playing video games alone ; she could rage and no one was there to mock her because of it. not to mention, the football game was going on which she most certainly wasn’t going to go to. “ 

Where were you the night Daisey’s body was recovered?

her eyes looked around the room as she got lost in thought, trying to remember. “ i think i was doing homework. ” again, alone in her dorm ... wow, her life was boring. & she was just now realizing it. “ or i may have been figuring out my streaming stuff because I’m planning on starting to stream. ” she remembered hearing the news. so many emotions ran through her. shock, sadness, confusion. “ when i found out she was found, i just remember having so many thoughts going through my mind. ” the main one was if her murderer would act again or if they were only going for daisey. “ of course i was sad. of course. i mean, who in their right mind wouldn’t? -- someone died, ” it didn’t matter how daisey was as a person. she was a living being. “ was murdered. it was terrifying. ” she promised herself she wasn’t going to get emotional .. but still, her cheeks began to flush pink & tears welled in her eyes. “ it was .. it was scary. ”

How familiar are you with the Ashmont woods? Have you been there often? Have you recently ventured out here? If so, why?

" ehh .. i mean, i know of the woods. ” she grew up in ashmont which meant she was pretty familiar with the surrounding areas - including ashmont woods. “ i don’t really like going out in general so going to the woods doesn’t seem fun to me at all. ” she’d always preferred the indoors over outdoors. when she was younger, she hated camping. eleanor honestly would rather watch paint dry than spent more than an hour in the woods. no internet? no eleanor.

PART THREE

Do you have feelings towards the investigation? Any comments?

" it was an investigation ... how exciting do you think it would get? ” she paused, realizing how much attitude she was giving off. “ sorry, i’m just tired. it’s been a long few days. ” -- ‘ and being investigated for a murder she didn’t commit wasn’t exactly fun. ’ thought elle. she watched as the trainee wrote things in his notes. she wondered what he was writing. was she too casual? was she supposed to be more nervous? there was no handbook on how to act when being investigated for murder. “ no comments on it, no. ”

Do you have any people you feel the police should look into? Please, let us know who and why.

eleanor frowned, shaking her head. “ no, ” she crossed her legs, placing her hands on the table before fiddling with her fingers. “ i’ll be honest ... i think it was an accident. how could anyone be capable of killing someone purposely? ” her eyes met with grant’s. “ maybe it wasn’t even anyone who goes here? maybe she was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. ” elle waited for any further questions. “ is that all? am I okay to leave now? ”

[thatonegirljessy99]

Longing To Feel Love (4)

As BTS become more popular, your relationship with Yoongi is taking a hit to the point where you begin to feel alone even when he is in the room. What will it take for him to say enough is enough and open up to you.

Pairing: Y/N x Yoongi

Extras in this: Lu Han

Word count: 2,902

Warnings: Angst at the very end? Not really

A/N: I am so sorry! I am going to be honest this is a filler section that just gives you some background on how Lu Han and you know each other and I am sorry it is probably shitty AF but I hope y’all enjoy it!!

 “So do you want the good news or ad news?” Lu Han asked as you both climbed into his car with a small smirk

“I swear I will cut you Lu… give me the bad news knowing that I am not responsible for- you locked the doors.. Why did you lock the doors Lu Han?!” your eyes were glaring daggers at the man that was driving now with a sparkle in his eyes.

“I have an interview for a T.V. show and they gave me permission to bring a friend with me. My agent thought it was a good idea to try and keep my Korea fans but any ways. If you want to go shopping with this sexy man you will just have to put up with it,” he chuckled before blowing a kiss at you.

“Lu Han you are so lucky I love you cause if I didn’t we would have crashed this car,” you huffed but smiled a little.

Interviews were not you favorite things on earth because people always tried to pry into your love life but when you had to do them you wouldn’t put up that much of a fight. Being friends with a few idols it was obvious you would be on a hand full of them anyways. Be it when you went to the Korea Music Awards with Yoongi or when you were at G-Dragons album release party.

You finally got to the studio where you were to be filming the interview. The girl at the front desk seemed to be nice enough as she led you to the dressing room where they had outfits for both Lu Han and yourself to try on.

“I hope that there is something to your liking. Once you are done please go through the door on the left to get your hair and make-up done. If you need anything of me I will be at the front desk,” she smiled and bowed before walking out of the room.

“Well I guess we should get ready then, at least they have changing rooms for us,” Lu Han chuckled nodding at the blue curtain rooms that were just big enough for someone to change.

Chuckling quietly, you went over to the rack of clothing to try and find something you actually liked and would fit but to your luck that wasn’t a very big problem. They had plenty of clothing in many different sizes and you quickly found something you thought you would feel comfortable in for the interview. You went into the changing room and to put on a fitted black and white stripped long sleeve shirt that you tucked into a brown skin skirt that was flowed out and ended mid-thigh. To make you feel a bit less exposed you slipped on black thigh high socks that left maybe three inches of skin still out between the skirt and socks. When you stepped out of the fitting room to look in the mirror you saw Lu Han fixing a dark jean jacket.

“Oh look! My little boy finally learned to dress like a man,” you teased him come into view behind him.

“I am four years older than you!” he chucked looking you up and down before stopping at your feet,” please tell me your putting on shoes…”

“I am, the cute boots with the high heels. I just wanted you keep my balance while I put them on,” you smiled sweetly at him as you pulled him by the wrist causing him to laugh.

“Black boots with black socks and black stripes. Hmmm, I get the feeling your going to give someone a black eye toda- Hey, look! Kris and I can actually see you now!” he glared playfully as he pat your head.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Come on lets get this over with you twit,” you hit his hand trying not to smile but failing.

Once your hair had been molded into soft curls and your makeup had been done lightly as you had asked, Lu Han and you were moved over to a set that was a lot comfier than the dressing rooms. The room had wood panel walls with a cough in the middle of the room along with cushioned seats and a bar that was against the left wall. A man around your age came out smiling as he walked over to Lu Han and yourself.

“Annyeonghaseyo! Thanks for giving us a call yesterday. I am glad we were able to see you before you went came back to Chine,” the man smiled shaking Lu Han’s hand before turning to look at you and shaking your hand as well,” Hello, I’m Park Jin Ho. I will be conducting the interview today. So please take a seat anywhere and we can get started. Do you guys want to have a drink while we do this or would you two prefer to be on the couch?”

“I think that some coffee would be good at the bar. I think your show is on in the mornings so it would be a pretty good shot for the viewers,” Lu Han smiled politely following Jon Ho to the bar.

“Smart idea. I don’t think that the broadcasting execs would be too hyped about having a morning show with cocktails and beer,” Jin Ho chuckled taking his spot behind the bar and Lu Han took a seat next to you in the high chairs.

After getting comfortable Jin Ho went to the filming crew to go over small details such as the lighting and checking the audio before they began filing. He was nice enough to start the interview by introducing Lu Han first who of course thanked him for letting him come on the show on such short notice. Lu Han that introduced you by your first and last name before adding on how you were his friend aaaannnd the girlfriend to Yoongi. Of course this is when the questions started to flow so easily to the host.

“Ah! I knew I recognized your beautifufl face from somewhere. So tell us, how is it that such a beauty like yourself got to take the heart of our bad boy Suga and capture our favorite Lu Han? Did Lu Han happen to try and take you for himself?” Jin Ho winked as he made the coffee for both of his guests.

You laughed a bit nervously trying to relax a bit before you answered his question.

“Well actually, I was an intern at Big Hit befor I met Yoongi and I was the one who took peoples names for auditions and things of that sort. I noticed Suga was very nervous so I had the bright idea to give the trainee my number and we texted while he was auditioning. From there we became friends and maybe a week before BTS debuted he asked me if I would be his girlfriend. Four years later here I am,” you laughed running your hand through your hair with a smile.”and as for how I met this guy…

.:Melon Music Awards 2013 After Party:.

BTS had just won the Best New Artist Award at the Melon Music Awards which meant that all of you had gone out to the after party to celebrate. Yoongi and you had been best friends for almost two years now so it was only natural that you would be coming with all the guys to the after party since Manager Kim had not allowed them to bring you into the actual awards with them. He was able to get you a seat close enough to them in the crowed so that the guys could spot you in a fraction of a second. You were in the second row on the right side of them. Namjoon had even been able to talk a friend of his to buy you a nice dress for the after party so you could look like another one of them. It was only fitting that your tight white mermaid dress with matched their tux’s, so you looked like if you were the only girl in the freshly debuted boy group.

The night was filled with amazing moments that made you wish it would never end, especially when you got to meet many of the idols you could only dream of meeting before. The thing that made your night feel complete was when you and the boys ended up sharing a table with G-Dragon himself who promptly introduced you to the rest of Big Bang.

During the rest of the night you spent it goofing off with the boys and meeting other idols who you looked up to. Everything was perfectly fine and dandy until you felt someone cash into you and felt something squish into the front of your dress. You looked down in horror to see chocolate cake smeared into your white satin dress.

“Oh god! I’m so sorry, Kris bumped into me while I was walking by! I am so sorry miss!” a boy with giant brown eyes looked at you, almost seeming as more horrified than you did,”ah! I don’t even know how to cle-“

“Don’t sweat it! We were just about to leave anyways. My name is Y/N by the way. I came with that ball of newbies,” you laughed and smiled over to where Jin was trying to rally the troupe.

“No but I really feel bad, that is a beautiful dress you have on. Let me buy you a knew one,” the boy frowned,” I’m Lu Han, I’m with-“

“Exo. Yeah I saw you when you guys won an award for Growl. I love that song. Look I have to go so why don’t you give me your phone number and you can buy me a coffee someday to make it up to me for ruining my dress,” you smiled taking your phone out of your clutch and handing it over to him so he could put his number in.

Lu Han looked shyly at the phone before taking it from your hand and puts his number in with the his name followed by the nickname “big eyes”. When he handed you the phone back you couldn’t help but crack a smile at the weird nick name he gave himself.

“I mean your not wrong but cute name I guess. I’ll see you around Lu Han,” you smiled at him and bowed before leaving to go back to where Jin is.

…and since then I have been super close to Lu. It really broke my heart when he left Korea but I saw how he was treated and how he felt at that very end of his career with EXO so I knew it was for the best.”

“Wow, you really are one lucky girl aren’t you Y/N” Jin smiled placing the cup of coffee in front of you now.

He then moved on to talk to Lu Han once more, asking about his latest album he released in China and the drama he had been filming back home. They cracked a few jokes, Lu Han teasing you. It had to be one off the easiest interviews for you. Finally the questions came back to you which meant you had to watch what you said because you knew exactly where these questions would go. They were the same ones you always got.

“So how is your relationship with Suga? Do you have to constantly be worrying about fans and all that mess?” Jin Ho asked with a warm smile as he finished his coffee.

“Oh, yeah. It can get a bit crazy with the fans and all that but after four years you know what your in for more or less. With BTS suddenly getting so much more popular world wide it has been hard to have any real time between him and I but we make it work Those small moments we do have together make everything worth wild,” you smiled honestly,” Right now they are actually doing some promotions in Japan so he is gone for the week but he is constantly texting me or calling to see how I am. Him and the rest of the boys. They have become like my brothers after knowing them for, what, six years? But in all honesty I don’t think the guys or myself would be who we are without each other. They remind me to always reach for the stars while I remind them where they come from and do my best to keep them humble.”

“Well I think you are doing a great job. I have had the pleasure to speak to them maybe two months ago and they also speak very highly of you. You have don an amazing job helping them stay themselves. I can see why they and Lu Han value you so much. But on last question before we have to go. Your both in very great relationships, what is the likelihood that your special someone or yourself would ever do something to hurt one another,” Jin asked raising his eyebrow at both Lu Han and yourself.

“No, I think I speak for both Y/N and myself when I say that we both have incredible faith in out partners and we both they have just as much faith in us,” Lu Han smiled.

Once the interview was done, Lu Han took you out to eat before you headed back to what your first mission had been to begin with. But Neither of you could have guessed it would have landed you where you were now.

“You look like a fat whale Y/N! What the fuck are you even wearing?!” Lu Han laughed from his seat outside the dressers.

You two were now at your third high end dress store and neither you nor Lu Han gave any shits about actually being adults. You had gone out of your way to actually find the most awful dress you could in each store. This time it just so happened to find an awkward blue dress that had so many ruffles that it made you look a lot larger than you already were.

“Dude this is worse than when Kia had cornrows for wolf,” Lu Han chuckled.

“Wow! How nice of you! Why don’t you show me what a better job you can do and go pick out a dress for me you goof ball,” you laughed heading back into the dressing room doing a funny dance on your way causing your friend to laugh as he got out of his seat shaking his head to brows around the store.

Just from looking around for a moment at the racks he pulled out a dress with a warm smile growing onto his face. Of course, it was fun to mess around, but he still wanted to get you something nice for you to wear for your birthday. He proceeded to walk up to your dressing room and knocking on the door. Opening the door slightly you looked at him a bit confused until you see him hand you the dress he had picked.

“Try this one on for me please?” he asked sweetly.

You look down at the dress and sigh before nodding and taking the dress.

“Okay, but only because you asked nicely,” you chuckled before closing the door and slipping on the dress.

You took a step outside to see your best friend look up from his phone and look at you in awe. He had picked out a simple red dress with the sleeves being completely off shoulder. The top portion was covered in small red fabric flowers that covered the three-inch sleeves and your chest perfectly. The rest was two thin layers of tulle that covered the crème coloured skirt that ended two inches above your knee, the red tulle ending a bit past the crème coloured fabric. Your shoulders were completely exposed, the small necklace you had on at the moment bringing out your collarbone and helped lead the attention back to the dress.

Lu Han got up from his seat and went up to you, looking you up and down like a brother who had just saw his little sister in a princess dress for the first time ever.

“You… you look breath taking… I- wow. Just wow…” he gawked with a smile, placing his hand on the small of your back to lead you over to the full-length mirror that was next to the dressing rooms, “This is it. This is your dress. Now we just need the right occasion to have to blow everyone away in it.”

The rest of the day was spent with Lu Han acting shady as hell while you ate dinner at some small mom and pop shop you had found on the way home. He was texting someone non stop and at one point even had to excuse himself to take some important phone call. He ended the night with you being dropped off at home and telling you to be ready for an amazing birthday tomorrow. Boy was tomorrow going to be fun. Yoongi was out of the country on your birthday, Manager Kim gave them the day off for tomorrow so they could explore Japan but the boys only had plans to help Yoongi stop moping with the thing that cures all problems.

What a day…

[rktiffxny]

          CALL ME ON YOUR CELL PHONE, LATE NIGHT WHEN YOU NEED MY LOVE ♫                                  (  &&.     WORDS NEVER MEANT TO BE RECOVERED  —   )

                                                                    ( 160926* )

she still hasn’t asked. she knows and he knows that the question is there. it lingers, hovers, looms over their heads but tiffany smiles and pretends instead. once upon a time ( and not so long ago ), she started to believe she won’t have to do that anymore, pretend. somehow, she’d forgotten that fairytales are just make-believe and she doesn’t know who’s to blame when she already gave up on fables years ago. too much hope, she tells herself, and, as she looks at leo over skype, she also thinks there’s also not enough. 

why didn’t you go home? is something wrong?  “are you happy, oppa?” 

                                                                      ( 161001 )

“i thought you guys were doing fine.” 

“we are. it’s just . . . different.” 

“you couldn’t have expected better when you turned him down.” 

“i didn’t turn him down—” a lie. “i told him not . . . right now.” there’s a difference, right? right. ivory sinks into a plush tier and she toys with the hem of her sweater, loose ends that taunt her and the risks too daunting. 

“then what are you worrying about?” 

she grumbles, displeased— with herself or with cassie, there’s no telling. “i didn’t say i’m worried.”

“you didn’t have to. just talk to him about it.” 

“but—” 

“there’s no but, steph. aren’t you tired of this? you keep denying everything when it comes to getting in too deep,” she says it, air quotation marks and all. “you did it all the time with byunghun and look where that got you.” 

it’s the first time cassie has thrown it in her face so directly, but above all it’s the first time tiffany thought maybe she shouldn’t go to her sister for everything. maybe, patience has finally run out. 

“okay, sorry.” 

                                                                     ( 161008 )

“you’re so quiet.” her response is nothing but a soft hum and cassie’s annoyance rings in her voice. “that’s your queue to speak, steph.” 

“i don’t have anything to say.” 

“you always have something to say. why aren’t you telling me anything?” 

but it’s tiffany who should be asking that. because it’s obvious leo and cassie have a secret they’re not telling her and it’s more than what’s going on with their father. it’s obvious her two older siblings are fighting. 

it’s obvious she’s not supposed to ask but she so desperately wants to. 

it’s obvious it’s something that can’t be easily fixed or talked about. 

it’s obvious that there’s nothing tiffany can do when she’s so far away and that’s what she hates about it the most. 

“i don’t have anything to tell.” and neither do you. 

                                                                    ( 161017 )

she’s so certain she’s figured it out when she talks to tiffany next. “you’re not going to tell him, are you?” 

“huh?” 

“that you want to be with him.” 

“i am with him.” quite literally too. bobby’s just in the next room over and prince is barking at him as per usual for attention. it didn’t feel like too long ago that prince used to bark at bobby for being a ‘stranger,’ an intruder. she almost forgets that it’s been well over a year. 

“but you’re not going to wear his ring.” 

she doesn’t answer and cassie takes it as she’s right. therein lies the problem. 

the truth is that cassie always thinks she’s right. her plans, her morals, her beliefs as one of the siblings that has remained religious. leo and tiffany seem like they couldn’t care less, at least compared to when they were all younger. this time, tiffany doesn’t have the energy to correct her. 

“yeah,” she lies, because it seems to be the new in thing for the three of them. 

but her and bobby are more than fine. awkwardness never lasts for long and distance is never truly exists between them. they’re more than fine. what cassie thinks is exactly what tiffany isn’t going to do. she swears by this time next month, she will be wearing that ring. what cassie thinks be damned. 

                                                                   ( 161023 )

"what’s wrong, sweetheart?” 

“hm? oh— nothing, dad. i’m sorry. i was just . . . “ 

“zoning out? or as you used to call it, daydreaming.” 

she laughs at the memory of what once was. it was her favorite excuse when she was in high school. her mother teased her for it and her father scolded her but she knew they both smiled at the same time, a small, amused one to themselves. one of her favorite smiles in exchange for a favorite phrase. what’s not to like about it? 

“are you worried about your brother and sister?” 

when isn’t she? 

a misconception, at best— that being the youngest meant she was the most worried about, and not the one that worries. because she’s the youngest, the baby, everything is kept from her. shielded, sheltered— secrets without a single truth in sight at times. 

all it does is leave pressure on them. pressure to be perfect. pressure to be happy. pressure to pretend. 

“they’ll work things out. they always do.” he seems so sure, so at peace and tiffany’s happy to see him smiling so effortlessly. 

“hey dad.” 

“hm?” 

“i know.” 

“know what?” 

she shifts, makes herself more comfortable on her bed, prince rests his paws against her side and she stifles a laugh at how ticklish she is even at the smallest touch. “so what’s her name?” 

“what?” 

it’s been years since tiffany saw her father blush and she swears, she absolutely swears, he’s a little nervous. her father, the ruthless lawyer with an impeccable record, even though he’s retired from the law, is actually nervous. years since he blushed and even longer since she thought he was being adorable. she almost forgot how endearing her father can be. 

“her name, appa,” she chuckles, absent-mindedly fixing her bangs, casual as can be, switching to korean if only to tease him. “what’s her name?” 

“i— who told you, honey?” 

“no one. the last time i was home, i saw her name on your phone. i wasn’t snooping, i swear!” but his scolding glare says he believes otherwise. “promise, dad! but a good night text isn’t so platonic that late. i hope you’re being safe.” he sputters and she hides herself behind a pillow, as if there isn’t thousand of miles between them. “anyway, her name.” 

“natasha.” 

“oh my god, dad. you’re dating the black widow and you didn’t tell me sooner?” 

“stephanie.” 

“okay, okay i was just kidding. but . . . i’m happy for you.” he smiles and it’s another thing she hasn’t seen in a while. that kind of carefree smile. it’s been over six years. since her mother passed. “she’d be happy for you too.” 

                                                                    ( 161030 )

"any halloween plans?” 

she shrugs, vaguely mentioning elysium and most certainly deliberately not mentioning that bobby is going with her. even if leo seemed to be calmer about him since he came to visit — which tiffany still doesn’t know the reason for — she didn’t think letting her brother know that she spends even more time than he got to witness for himself with bobby. 

“how’s your girlfriend?” 

“why does my baby sis sound jealous, huh?” 

“i’m the only one who hasn’t met her! of course i’m jealous,” she rolls her eyes. “if that’s what you want to call it.” 

“come visit and you can meet her.” 

it’s words that only draw a sigh out of her and he knows why. his last visit also gave him a clear view of how busy her schedule is, how little she sleeps. everything she’s unable to do. even groceries he realized cheolwoo helps her out with from time to time, keeping her refrigerator stocked, which he’s both proud of and grateful for. 

“okay, i’ll come visit you.” 

“and take her with you? ooh, are you that smitten oppa?” 

“she does want to go to seoul one day.” 

“are you really going to bring her?” 

the look in his eyes tells her no. she knows her brother too well to think he’s that easily committed, that willing to let his girlfriend so fully into his life. there’s a reason she hasn’t met the girlfriend yet, even through skype or facetime. 

“do you really like her?” 

it’s the same question she didn’t have to ask her father and in some weird twisted way it’s funny. their father who lost the love of his life is more open to dating than two of his own children. 

“do you like bobby?” 

she’s caught off-guard. a question she never expected him to ask and she’s smiling before she nods, slowly but it’s a definite yes. 

“i might be falling for him.” 

                                                                      ( 161116 )

"is it weird?” 

“is what weird?” she hums softly as she pets chocolat, gesturing for the mastiff to come closer until the dog settles at her feet. 

“the merger. working in the same building as all those other trainees. your friends. jihyun. bobby.” 

her sister still doesn’t know and tiffany’s unsure why she hasn’t said a word. that bobby’s not just bobby but her boyfriend. the ring on her finger isn’t easily visible through facetime and tiffany shrugs it off. 

“we’ve always known it was going to be like this if it came to it. we did fine on the mgas.” 

“but you weren’t at the same place everyday.” 

“and we’re still not,” tiffany insists, her nose crinkling in annoyance at the thought. maybe she was too resistant to change but it was such a drastic change. how could she not be irritated to some extent? “we only have to go two days a week so i . . . only go when i have to.” 

“if you say so.” 

their conversations are so forced now, distant and tiffany’s never truly felt the physical distance between them until now. at least in this way. tinges of guilt and regret eat away at her whenever she thinks of how much emily is growing, how much she doesn’t get to see and be there for. but this? this distance is different. it’s resent and she can’t tell who seems more bitter, her or cassie. 

“i have to go get ready for bed now.” 

“bye.” 

“ . . . yeah, bye.” 

                                                                      ( 161116 )                                                                   * later that day

“just break up with her.” 

“i don’t want to.” 

“i didn’t ask you if you wanted to but you should.” 

“cassie, i’m getting tired of this shit. if you’re gonna call just to yell at me, then don’t bother calling.” 

“if i don’t yell at you, are you gonna realize that what you’re doing is fucked up. what’s wrong with you, leo? this isn’t like you.” 

those words are a trigger and all he sees is red. 

“maybe you don’t know me.” 

silence, a click, and a dialtone. the unfinal verdict. 

                                                                      ( 161203 )

"are you going home for the holidays?” 

“i don’t know yet.” 

“come on, leo.” 

“don’t start.” 

a stalemate. it’s what everything is boiled down to in the moment because he knows she’s annoyed that he has the opportunity to and won’t and she knows that he’s going through something even if he won’t say a word. but tiffany is the last person who could judge because she’s the first that can understand. they’re always more alike than they realize and she nods, concedes because this is her older brother. her only brother but her favorite no matter what. 

“how are you doing?” 

“good. actually—” she laughs a little, laughing at her choice of words, as if it’s an unlikely outcome and there was once a time she truly believed it. “i’m really happy.” 

he chuckles too, just as amused because, again, if anyone could understand it’s them. 

“does that mean you have news for me?” 

“not anything in particular but you know i love christmas. what about you? anything to tell me?” 

there’s a flicker of recognition in his eyes and he knows he set himself up for that question, a small smile on his lips as he shakes his head. 

“how’s your girlfriend?” this time, she almost misses it. she almost misses how his eyes dim, darken, burn with guilt even as he says, “she’s good, we’re good.” and another almost is how convincing he is. she almost believes him. 

                                                                       ( 170108 )

"oppa, what’s wrong?” it’s the middle of training when he first calls. 5 missed calls and he’s still awake once she can call back. 

shaky breaths and she’s terrified. he never sounds like this. even at the funeral, she remembers leo being the strongest one. he held her hand, squeezed it, comforted her, told her that everything will be okay and those words are stuck in her throat as she listens to what she’s so certain is her brother crying. 

he’s devastated and she can’t figure out why. 

he’s hurt and she can’t be there to do what he’s done for her since she was a child. 

nothing has said and she spends her entire dinner listening to him do his best to steady his breathing. she’s a few minutes late but she can’t leave, she can’t even move from where she’s sitting, not until he abruptly tells her he has to go. no explanation, no goodbye, just another click and a dialtone, what her father said is the new norm for her two siblings when they talk to each other. 

she doesn’t understand until it’s too late. 

                                                                      ( 170127 )

"you really don’t know what’s going on with him?” or with you. 

“no, and you shouldn’t be asking.” 

“why not?” 

“just don’t, steph.” 

“no, you can’t just shut me out of this. you’ve both been acting weird and you’re being jerks by acting like it doesn’t affect the rest of us but it does. dad’s finally happy and you’re bringing him down with all this fighting. don’t deny that either, i swear, cassie. don’t you dare.” 

“well, tell me how you really feel.” 

“if i did that, i’d be calling you guys something much worse than jerks for being like this.” 

“you don’t understand.” 

“of course i don’t. you guys aren’t telling me anything!” 

“i can’t.” 

in this moment when her sister was the one she should’ve believed, tiffany didn’t. it wouldn’t be too long that she’d realize why cassie couldn’t, that the redness of her sister’s eyes wasn’t exhaustion from raising a toddler. 

she’d understand why her sister’s heart was broken. 

                                                                      ( 170209 )

tiffany does her best not to cry when she knows anytime soon bobby will walk through the door. cassie doesn’t have to speak for tiffany to read between the lines. the this is why i didn’t want to tell you is written all over her face and she feels numb. she wishes she really was. 

“are they really doing it?” and there’s the question that could kill her. the question that reveals all, of how for the first time in her life, her brother has broken her heart. 

does leo really want her to get an abortion? does he really not want his own child?