#god made us besties because he knew the world couldnt handle us as brothers

[lamouratorrrrry]

bhima and kintoki

Based off of this

[bolontiku]

"You are no longer fragile."

TW: Talk of abuse, death

The other day my older sister came over. We ended up going out & having a family meal and learned from her a cousin passed. Nothing to do but wait till the family has passed official word and wait for the funeral. Thats a discussion on its own for another day...

After my pops and lil sister took off, I offered to pay for desert. The brother and older sis wanted fried icecream and I knew a place. It took a little time and we got there, were seated and we started chatting.

She was telling me and the brother about her new found relationship and the proceedings of her divorce. She was going on about how she could see herself being okay without her new boyfriend who she dared to say she loved deeply. Yet it confused her to no end that she would be okay. Her soon-to-be exhusband made her believe she wouldnt. She would never be okay without him. The world was too hard, she couldnt handle herself, she was pathetic and useless and weak. She needed him to be able to function. SHE NEEDED HIM. There was nothing she could do without him- This is why she was confused. How could she be ok with being alone?

My words to her were: "Its because you are no longer fragile."

She was never fragile. My sister is strongwilled. Fierce. Inquisitive. Decisive. Fearless. Daring. Courageous. Soft. Empathetic. Caring. Funny. Beautiful. She sings in the car and dances. And so so so smart. There is nothing she can't figure out. This is why she has excelled in her career (she recently got promoted to Assistant Store Manager) and many other aspects of her life.

It struck me that I hadn't meant for an aha moment but we all stared at each other in silence. She got teary eyed and we sat for a second being a little uncomfortable and not looking at each other. We looked at our menu's (we all went for damned fried icecream!).

Abuse does not discriminate.

It comes in many different forms and your abuser is often not the towering villian you expect. Most times you don't even realize its happening to you.

Emotional. Mental. Sexual. Physical.

We are not people who are easily coddled. We are not people to back down. We were raised to fend for ourselves and care for our family, we think of ourselves last and will be the first to jump into a fight.

This is who we are.

We are abuse survivors.

It has taken us time to come back, we could not see her do it alone and have struggled to keep our own memories of what we went through subdued. We talked her into seeing a therapist and that... Thank god she found a good one! Its helped so much.

Funnily enough our little family has come back together. We've lost so much. A mother. A sister. Nieces and nephews. We grew apart and thought we were alone. Who knows what we will encounter in the future? Maybe we wont see eye to eye again. But she knows that no matter what she doesnt need to go through this alone.

I don't know what (if anything) I wanted to convey with this. I tend to thought-dump on here from time to time.

We have struggled so much and dealt with so much by ourselves I guess I'm just glad that she can lean on us. We need her too. I'm happy to see her get excited over things again, its been a long time. Theres still a lot to go through. But I think we'll be okay. We are a family of fighters, we just forgot a little, got lost a little.

Its okay to get a little lost.

Its okay to reach out.

I had my wife & bestie. The brother had the lil sister and when he reached out to me we found ourselves again. Now, our pops is more open with us. My older sister reached out to me and we brought her home. Its funny looking back at the chain reaction that happens sometimes.

Life is hard & funny.

But my ma always said, "levantate, y haslo de nuevo!" "Get up and do it again!"