#god imagine if this finale had actually focused on Sally

[thebusylilbee]

[Source : ‘Barry’ Finale Is Filled With Blood and Disappointment]

[chironshorseass]

ok i really really really enjoyed watching the first two episodes and i think the show is already so faithful to the books in ways the movies wished they were BUT i’m gonna be a bitch just because i can and rant about a few insignificant but at the same time very important Things the writers didn’t Understand:

percy is angry.

and i know this is seen with his anger towards poseidon in the show, but i’m talking angry. as in, generally speaking. when he’s with grover and they’re talking about nancy, percy says something along the lines of “we should fight back,” and grover’s like “noooo we can’t stand up to bullies.” and then percy stands up to her and blah blah blah…but in the books percy’s first line is “i’m going to kill her” after she throws a sandwich at grover. grover talks him out of it because he’s already on probation.

with just this scene we know percy stands up to bullies, and that’s partly why he has so much trouble at school! in the show, he stands up to nancy, apparently for the first time, and gets kicked out because of it! sorry but as someone who worked in a school, i know for a fact that kids can get away with so much more before they’re actually kicked out lol. it would’ve made sense, like in tlt, that he’s already at risk of suspension so him “pushing” nancy is the final straw. it’s just very weird, considering it could be only a line of dialogue that makes percy’s anger and the connection between his outburst and him getting kicked out more clear.

consequently, percy arrives at his appartment and gabe is just a general (still admittedly abusive) jerk instead of a drunk, violent (also abusive) man. when we meet gabe, it makes a lot of sense why percy has so much trouble with his anger. it’s easy to see that connection. literal child + alcoholic abusive father figure = there’s bound to be some trouble….that’s not really the case in the show, especially in the way that sally easily stands up to him. people have said a fair bit about this topic already, so i’m not gonna expand on that, but i really wish the writers had focused more on percy’s internal anger, as it’s such an important part of his character and affects the way he reacts to things throughout the books; it just worries me that in the first episode it wasn’t as established. i. e. he hates dionysus on sight because he reminds him of smelly gabe, he hates the gods—is angry at poseidon—because, where was he when my mom and i were suffering at the hands of smelly gabe? ok i’m not gonna talk about more of this or of sally because other people have said it and i could write a four page essay of what the show got wrong plus i want to talk abt other things before this gets too long:

the monster scenes.

the mrs. dodds being a fury reveal felt sooo…weird? even the movie version did it better lol. it felt super rushed and strange how percy’s just standing there and the next he’s on the ground, but he had riptide with him so he just impaled her and then she turned to dust??? in the books, not only does she get percy alone, but grover tries to stand up to her—which is a big deal since he knows what she truly is and shows how much he cares for percy in that moment. percy has time to be genuinely terrified bc he’s alone with a literal monster and he’s about to die…and chiron throws him riptide just in time, but then he too vanishes so percy’s left wondering if he imagined everything. but no, in the show mrs. dodds comes out of nowhere and attacks him, and it’s so fast that percy doesn’t have time to dwell on wtf happened. the situation doesn’t seem as serious as it does in the book; in the book she tries to interrogate percy bc she thinks he’s the lightning thief, and when she doesn’t get her answer, she attacks him. this is another thing: the stakes. they don’t feel as high in the show because there’s no annabeth trying to ask percy what was stolen, no hellhound, no fates cutting a string, and no alecto/mrs. dodds interrogation. there’s not much of a lead up to the quest, really.

theeen the minotaur scene, which also feels super weirdly paced and there’s just not that same sense of urgency. again, other people have talked about this, so i’ll just stick to another main concern of mine: grover’s role in the scene. it was so strange how in the book he’s semi unconscious and in the show he’s fine (so fine that sally does something completely out of character and makes grover swear to keep percy safe? she would never put that much pressure in a child???) ok so he seems fine in the show, but then when they’re running percy’s holding him as if he can’t walk???? they’re not even fully sprinting, given that a monster is chasing them lol. (the problem with the stakes; i mean with the way they run and have an entire talk with sally makes it feel like they’re not in any real danger).

back to grover: he was perfectly fine, and he got percy back safe. not at all like in tlt, where percy has to practically carry him back, after loosing his mom and killing the minotaur. THEN percy passes out and later wakes up at the big house. this is important, bc grover’s entire THING is being percy’s protector, and he couldn’t do that properly bc he was indisposed. he felt awful. of course he did. his character arc is overcoming the guilt and insecurities—that he’s not a proper protector and therefore can’t search for pan; his main character motivation—by successfully completing the quest and helping percy retrieve the master bolt.

these are just little seeds that needed to be planted in the first two episodes of the show…so that the rest of the show feels cohesive and makes sense with what happens in tlt. if these character traits and scenes are looked over and not given proper importance/not replaced with something similar, then the show will have a different tone than it does to the books. i don’t think it’s necessarily bad, but it is disappointing that the details sprinkled in the source material are lost in translation. they may have seemed insignificant to the writers, but not to meeee!!!!!!

[cartoonfantic8]

!Tower of Nero Spoilers!

My thoughts on the final book!

First of all, let me just say I loved Apollo’s character development! It’s was thing that shined thoughout the series. He started out as this cocky, self-centered god to this warm, compassionate, empathic person who felt so much more human. He really did keep Jason’s promise

Meg is an absolute badass! The fact that she went to go face Nero, her abuser, the guy he killed her dad and a feared ruler, a QUEEN

There were so many parallels between Apollo’s abuse and Meg’s abuse

If I’m being honest, I like many others didn’t like Meg in the beginning but now I love her so much. One of my favorite characters in the Riordanverse now.

LUGUSELWA IS AWESOME, little sus at first but AWESOME

FUCK NERO

I FUCKING HATE HIM

GETTING A 8 YEAR-OLD TO CUT OF LU’S HAND. HE’S SO MANIPULATIVE TOO!

Loved how Luguselwa was Meg’s parental figure, she deserves that so much in her life

Also Meg and Apollo’s sibling relationship was just *chef’s kiss*. Love them so much

SALLY AND PAUL

PAUL BLOFIS IS ONE OF THE BEST MORTALS IN THIS SERISE

Such a caring guy, letting Meg, Lu and Apollo rest at his house even if it puts his family in danger is just wow!

Estelle is adorable. I know a lot of people are commenting on her sea-green eyes but what if Posiden blessed her and she got some water powers and the eyes

Estelle will run the world when she’s older

Also Sally Jackson, a godesss!

SOLANGELO

Love these two!

Just yeah!

WILLIAM ANDREW SOLACE

Also GLOWING WILL

WILL’S ALSO A STAR WARS GEEK

THE SUN TATTOO

Will Solace is an underrated badass and this book really showed it.

The fact that this book really showed Nico’s PTSD is so sad yet at the same time shows how much this kid has gone through so much and can overcome anything

This book shows Nico’s character development and how far he’s come from the first series. Just wow.

The reaction to Jason’s death just broke me

Will + Nico + Rachel friendship/trio gives me life!

Also Rachel comment that if she spills paint on Nico it will ruin his aesthetic

RACHEL ELIZABETH DARE IS A GODESS

The iconic plastic blue hairbrush has returned.

Also that Kane Chronicles reference, now I need a crossover!

Can we just say that Dionysus is the best godly parent, actually rasing Pollux and Castor! Also him helping Nico with his PTSD.

The next generation of campers coming to camp made me emotional. I remember reading about the different campers in PJO and HOO such as Clarisse, Chris, Travis, Conner, Katie, Pollux, Jake Mason, Nyssa, and Malcolm, even Rachel. All these characters who moved on and are off to college. Yeah I’m salty we didn’t get any apperences of them but it was nice to see that their living there lives. Imagine surviving two wars and thinking that your not going to live past sixteen and they did.

These new campers coming in just shows that the cycle of demigods is continuing and there’s a new generation. These campers reminded me of the new fans who are being recently introduced to this amazing book series. Most of the old fans are in highschool and college, growing up and living there lives.

I’m kinda disapponted we didn’t get like a huge battle like Battle of Manehatten but honestly we can’t expect every battle to be like that.

The Apollo and Python battle 10/10 tho

Also Styx, that entire scene gave me chills

Who else cried over an arrow

I’m shocked that Rick didn’t kill anyone like we all expected it but I’m happy no one died

Jason, that entire scene had me sobbing. He was one of my favorite characters and this really shows that not all heroes get happy ending but I don’t consider that death canon

Chapter 32 poem chapter title was a reference to Hamilton, Rick was not being slick at all

Love how Apollo didn’t get a love insterest or end up with Meg! It really show that love can be platonic and this series focused on Apollo’s development

This book felt so real with Apollo’s guilt over Jason, Meg’s abuse and Nico’s PTSD. Well done for a kid’s book that normally can’t touch on these subject.

[obsidiancreates]

And They Were Roommates (I can’t think of a title)

Allison wasn’t paying attention to the TV at all, really. Mostly she was trying not to stare at Lacy.

Lacy was focused on the show, but all Allison could focus on was the way her roommate’s hair framed her face, the way she made sweatpants and old oversized shirts look like an outfit worth a million dollars, the way the light from the screen made her eyes look like they were sparkling...

Allison blinked and turned back to the TV, shoving an Oreo into her mouth and hoping that Lacy hadn’t noticed anything.

She hadn’t. Lacy was too busy watching the characters on TV bluff about their relationship at a party. “Do you think that actually works?”

Allison took a big drink of milk, clearing away all the cookie and creme filling. “What?”

“The pretending to date thing. Shows always do that, and it seems fun, but wouldn’t that be pretty hard to pull off?”

‘Shit, her thoughtful face is stunning.’ “I don’t know. Depends on how well you know each other, I guess.”

“I guess.” Lacy went quiet for a moment, and Allison tried to push down her gay panic. Lucy reached over and grabbed an Oreo from the pack in Allison’s lap. “Hey, my high school reunion is coming up. We could try it out.”

Allison choked on her cookie. “What?”

“Yeah. Let’s see if we can trick everyone!” She turned to face Allison and looked her in the eyes. Allison had to fight with herself to not get lost in Lucy’s. “We know each other well enough, I think.”

Allison was thankful that the only light in the room was from the TV. Hopefully it would hide her blushing. “O-okay,” she heard herself agree. Inside, she was screaming. The gay panic had returned with a vengeance.

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Allison smoothed down the front of her suit, waiting for Lacy to step out into the living room. Would she wear a dress? A suit? Something more casual? No, no, she’d talked about how she wanted to blow them all away. ‘Oh god, she’s going to kill me isn’t she? She’s going to step out and my heart’s just going to explode.’

“Ready!” Lacy came out, and Allison stopped breathing.

She had chosen a dress. It hugged her torso, snug but not tight, and the skirt went all the way down to the floor. It was loose, flowy even, and when she walked it almost looked like she was gliding.

Allison swallowed. “I thought spaghetti straps were against the dress code,” she joked, trying to ignore the incredibly loud beating of her heart.

Lacy laughed, and Allison’s panic meter went through the roof. Her little pining heart couldn’t handle this. 

“Be gay, do crimes, right?” Lacy grinned. “You look great!”

“Thanks.” Allison didn’t know how she had managed to say that without revealing her inner turmoil.

Lacy put her arm through the crook of Allison’s, and Allison was sure she was going to explode. “Let’s get going!”

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“You know, some of the other kids used to tease me and say I’d never get a boyfriend. Guess it’s time to prove them right, huh?” Lacy said as they walked up to the reunion. 

“Yup. Little did they know you had a shield of rainbows against those insults.” ‘Oh god, that was so bad. I’m the most annoying fake girlfriend ever. Shit.’

Lacy giggled. Thank god.

They stepped into the auditorium.

There were some balloons, some streamers, a snack table, generic party decorations. No theme, it seemed. 

“Aw man. I was hoping they’d do what they did for prom.”

“Didn’t you say they just used old school play sets and called it a Thespian theme?”

“Yeah,.”

“Why would you want them to do that?”

Lacy shrugged. “Nostalgia.”

“It would be pretty funny,” Allison said, imagining a cardboard cutout of a tower in the corners and some fake trees made of empty paper towel tubes by the door.

“Oh my god, Lacy!” Whatever Lacy’s response was going to be was cut off by a woman walking up to them, a man following close behind. “Sally Henton, remember me? Wow, I love your dress!”

“Hi Sally,” Lacy said with a smile. Allison smiled too, feeling just a bit awkward. 

“Who’s this?” Sally asked.

“My girlfriend, Allison.” Allison felt her heart start to race again and desperately hoped that Lacy couldn’t feel her pulse where their arms were linked.

“Oh! Well, nice to meet you!” Sally shook Allison’s hand. “This is my husband, Matthew!”

They carried on with a friendly conversation, moving over to the snack table. Allison did her best to keep her cool as she and Lacy sat down and Lacy leaned her head against Allison’s shoulder.

“-he insisted on carrying me as often as he could until my ankle healed,” Sally said, holding Matthew’s hand as she told the story. He blushed and chuckled. 

“It’s no big deal. I just wanted you in as little pain as possible.”

“I still can’t believe that he carried me that often. There’s something so romantic about being carried by your partner, isn’t there?” 

Lacy shrugged. “I don’t think I’ve ever been carried like that before.”

“What?” Sally exclaimed. “Oh, come on! Allison looks more than strong enough to carry you!”

Lacy looked up and into Allison’s eyes. “Why don’t we try it, sweetie?” Her eyes sparkled with humor. Allison wondered how much longer it would take for her to completely melt into a puddle of adoration.

“Sure, why not?” They both stood, and Allison swept Lacy off her feet.

Lacy giggled, wrapping her arms around Allison’t neck, and looked up at her friend. She was smiling bigger than Allison had ever seen, and it took all her self control to not kiss her right then and there.

Lacy looked up at Allison’s face, and her eyes widened.

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Lacy had never though of Allison in that way.

She knew they were both gay, both single, both looking, but she’d only ever considered Allison a friend.

Until Allison picked up and held her, and she looked up into Allison’s eyes.

And found herself falling.

It hit her in the chest, almost knocking the breath out of her. The way Allison’s smile lit up the whole world, the way her arms felt so safe and comfortable, the way she looked like a dream come to life.

Lacy hit the metaphorical ground hard, while Allison kept her safely above the real ground.

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“That was a lot of fun!” Allison said as they got into the car. “And hey, it worked!”

Lacy smiled, still trying to process the flood of romantic feelings now making itself at home in her heart. 

It was new, yet... not. Like it had always been there, behind a dam, and the dam had finally burst.

Allison drove them home, and as soon as she opened the door she took a deep breath, and turned to face Lacy. She cleared her throat. “I um... I wouldn’t mind doing that for real. Be-being together. Like we were pretending.”

“Really?” Lacy said, hushed.

“Y-yeah.”

Lacy grinned. “Me either.”

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Allison’s breath hitched. “You wouldn’t?”

Lacy stepped closer, and Allison’s heart went into overdrive.Lacy reached up and put her hand on Allison’t cheek. 

“Not at all.”

Lacy got on her tiptoes and Allison bent down. They melted into the kiss, and any nerves or worries melted as well.

They broke apart and went inside, holding hands and blushing like crazy. Together.

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(I WROTE IT!)

@victory-cookies @a-humble-narcissus @musical-in-theory @fairyofsomething

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #203

I’m not dead, World of Warcraft just devoured my life again.

Have you ever been inside of an abandoned building? Yes; a shack first, but we picked up the courage to just barely set foot into this small building absolutely littered with newspapers and such. Almost went into the main house, but my sister, friend, and I were too intimidated by the idea. I didn't want to imagine what could be in there; already anxious by that age, I worried about feral animals or homeless being in there. Have you ever actually believed in monsters? (Like as a kid) Yes, I think. Do you have any fascination with the macabre? Examples? Oh boy, do you know me? I find most gore cool, I love bone art/vulture culture sort of stuff, I find death and decay fascinating, then there's the roadkill photography I do (done in only great respect/to show the horror of what we can cause), dark and especially gory artwork... I could go on for a while. Do you actually think skeletons are scary? I LOVE skeletons, add that to the above list. I was always excited in school if our science class had a replica in it. What monster movie is your favorite? This is broad... You mean like, actual monsters? Not like Freddy Krueger, per se, and focused on them? Hell I dunno, maybe Monsters Inc., lol. Is Hocus Pocus really a good movie, or a bit overrated? We cannot associate if you so much as dislike Hocus Pocus. What witch-themed movie/show is your favorite, anyhow? See above. Do you like The Nightmare Before Christmas? Hell yeah. Ha, pretty funny though: I'm not obsessed with the movie or anything, yet people give me sooooooo much Jack Skellington stuff for my birthday and/or Christmas. I do love Jack, totally, but you'd assume I was more in love with the character than I actually am. Do you count it as a Halloween movie and a Christmas movie? Halloween, for me. Do you like Jack or Sally better? Jack. What other Tim Burton works do you enjoy, if any? Corpse Bride and Alice in Wonderland are my absolute favorites, then there's Frankenweenie, Beetlejuice, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, James and the Giant Peach (literally my lil sis's and my childhoods), and probably more. I just love him. Are there any ‘dark’ or ‘spooky’ films you recommend? Absolutely the original Blair Witch Project. Spoiler, you never see the "witch," and that just made it so much spookier, particularly when there's a scene that seems to have a high chance of her showing up on the camera. It's very convincing in selling it as "based on a true story;" the characters act realistic in the situations they're in and are very dedicated to acting well. It's my personal definition of a "good" horror movie. If anything, shit, watch it for the ending. Creepiest goddamn thing. Just for fun – what would your personal hell look like? Yeesh, let's not visualize that... On Supernatural, do you like the angels or demons better? I am way, WAY behind, but from very faint memories, I believe the demons. Have you ever purchased anything from an occult or New Age shop? What? No. Do you know any Pagans/Wiccans? I believe one of my old friends is Wiccan? Do you know any Satanists? I don't believe so. Would you ever keep a tarantula as a pet? Nah. Are there any urban legends in your area? What are they? Looked it up and apparently NC does have some, but idk about *my* area. Do you find dead trees beautiful? Some, like really big ones. Who was the last person you sat next to? Mom. Are you embarrassed to let others see you without makeup? No. Have you ever had a nickname at your church? If so, what? Don't believe so, when I grew up going to church. What was the last stuffed animal you bought? Not sure. Maple trees, fir trees, or palm trees? Maple. Which biblical name do you prefer: Naomi, Esther, Rachel, or Joanna? Naomi, easily. I used to want to name my hypothetical daughter that. Which biblical guys name do you prefer: Seth, Jedidiah, Ezra, or Buz? Seth. Who is the hardest working person you know? MY. MOTHER. She works her fucking ASS off; I'd like to see most people handle even a single day in her life. Can you name any songs by Godsmack? A few: "No Rest For The Wicked," "Whatever," "Mama," "Voodoo," "Voodoo Too," "Hollow," "Time Bomb," "The Enemy," and... that may be it? What has been the most exciting moment of your life thus far? Meeting Sara. How deeply do you care for your education? Is it something you take seriously? I don't really know how to answer this. Like... I care, but I don't care enough to be competitive about it or obsess over it. I target for just being "enough." Would you prefer to go to a beach or to a park for a day, and why? What would you do? Park. The beach is too hot, windy, and I hate the feel of sand. Idk what I'd do at the park considering there are various kinds... What are five things you own in your favorite color? Tank top, iPod, uh... I'm blanking. Is your favorite clothing store close to your house or do you have to travel far? The nearest one is like an hour away. In real life do you laugh like ‘haha,’ ‘hehe’ or something else? The former. Do you have any unusual skills? No. Do you have any bug bites right now? No. Do you like to look at other peoples’ houses? Sure, when riding by them. What’s the weirdest compliment you’ve ever received? Good question. Maybe my toes are cute? (They're fucking tiny.) Would you say you’re more witty or childish about jokes? Witty, I guess. What do you think about video games? One of the greatest technological achievements. Video games brought forth a new form of entertainment to enjoy, one that can hold someone's focus for hours and stay fun. They can also tell fantastic stories, just like reading a book or watching TV, and the more and more realistic in vision games are becoming, it just becomes easier with every game to feel more immersed in the universe. What would you, or do you, study at college? I'm going for zoology. Have you ever had, or wanted, a pet ferret? Oh my god in Heaven, yes. They are so damn cute; when Sara was here and we were in PetSmart for something, I actually started tearing up and squealing because of how GODDAMN PRECIOUS THEY WERE, like they all came up to the glass pawing at us, and watching them play was one of the cutest things I've ever seen. The only thing holding me back from getting one is the fact I know they are veeery messy and require a lot of care. Is there anything you find undeserving of the hype it received? Eh, don't feel like thinking about this. In other words, idk and idc. Do you think it’s better to label yourself than be labelled? Who cares, honestly. Don't restrain yourself with a label, and what others see in you and you following along with it solely because of that is naive. What’s something you do a lot? Over-evaluate anything and everything, because my OCD has been an absolute beast for the longest time. Are you currently on any other websites? Twitch and deviantART are open. Have you ever been told you naturally tilt your head a certain way? YES. I have done this since like... late middle school or earlier when the hair to the right of my part covered my eye. My mom points it out all the time, and no matter how many times I've tried to unlearn it, I can't do it. My head physically feels weird if I straighten it. When was the last time you laughed at someone? Some time earlier when I was watching Mark play GTA. Do you have any projects on the go right now? I started a massive YouTubers video with "High Hopes" over a month ago, and now I haven't touched it since the day I started lmao. Do you, or did you, really look forward to when you can finally move away? Eh... yes and no. I really question my ability to be that independent. What’s the worst tattoo you’ve ever seen? Who knows. What’s your favorite name ever? Alessandra. Are you a hat person? No. Have you ever forgotten how to do something simple? Ha, yeah. Have you ever been hit on by somebody way too old for you? Possibly an old family friend; he had this thing for being REALLY flirtatious with my older sister, and then me sometimes as I got older. We were never alone with him or anything, I mean he did it right in front of our mother and dad (he fucking loathed him because of it, probably still does), so we think he was joking? Have you ever climbed a chain-link fence? Yes. Have you ever had to run from the cops? No. Do you know anyone who is constantly humming? No? Are you afraid of any specific animals? I mean the usual insects and spiders, then there's the few more unusual ones such as SLUGS, MAGGOTS, larvae in general really, whale sharks, worms... probably others that aren't coming to me. Did anything comical happen to you today? No. Are you any good at fussball? Not especially. Who do you usually dream about? Jason is most often in the ones I actually remember. Yay. It made sense when I wasn't even beginning to heal, but now that I am and I STILL have them despite having fully and entirely moved on, I finally just asked my mother if it was normal, which apparently it is extremely common with even "recovered" PTSD victims. Shoulda asked/looked it up way sooner... Do you visit your dentist as often as you should? Yeah, thanks to Mom. She always ensures I stay updated with medical exams/appointments. I'm lucky as hell to have her here to keep my life straight. Do you still have a teddy bear? Maybe in the bags in the attic? Did you get any Girl Scout cookies this year? No. They don't come here. What’s your favorite fairytale? Bitch Shrek don't even @ me it's a fucking fairytale. Do you apologize when you know you should? Usually. In most cases, I feel overwhelming guilt otherwise. Do apologies really make anything better? Sometimes, to a degree. Can other people tell when you’re high? I've never been high. Do you own a birdcage? No. Have you ever planted anything? Yeah. Have you ever been blackmailed into doing anything? No. What eyeshadow color looks best on you? I only ever wear black. Can you tolerate small children? jfc no. In almost any situation. Even my niece and nephew, I can't be around them but for so long without getting burnt out or aggravated. What’s the stupidest behavior humans partake in? Holy sweet mother of The Lord God Almighty- Have you ever seriously considered suicide? Yeah. Did you ever hit anything while learning to drive? I like... immediately hit a curb lmao, and I STILL can't turn past them without the risk of running over it. It's one of the things that's holding me back from getting my license yet. Which movie’s musical score is truly memorable? UM, The Lion King??????? Hurry the FUCK up July. Which TV show theme music do you remember most? That '70s Show. Have you ever bounced any checks? I've never even used a check... How many speeding tickets have you been given? None. Not that I drive a lot. First kiss: quick, sloppy, and forgettable or passionate and memorable? It was fucking adorable and definitely memorable. I don't care how I feel about him now, that's a little event I'll always remember and cherish. Jeff Foxworthy, Bill Engvall, Ron White, or Larry the Cable Guy? OH GOD what was that stand-up show with just them? I LOVED that back as a teen. I don't know who I liked most, but probably Jeff or Bill. I do know Ron was my least favorite, but he wasn't bad. How many bills do you pay online? I'm a 23-year-old "adult" who doesn't have bills. What’s the highest score you ever bowled? Hell if I remember. Nothing impressive. What’s your definition of a good, full breakfast? The "perfect" picture is like pancakes, scrambled cheesy eggs, and bacon. Whats your favorite flavor of jam? Of what I've tried, I only like grape. Are you a fast runner? I can't even TELL you the last time this bitch ran. At school was is/was the main reason you get/got in trouble? It was never severe trouble, just a quick word, but Jason because we'd always hug and usually just exchange a peck in-between going to classes; both were no-nos in our shit school, and the hall monitors or whatever would tell us not to if they saw, buuut we didn't listen. Hell, I think maybe hand-holding was against the rules too, which I know we didn't abide by if that was present. Do you make your views heard or do you hide in the background? It depends. I'd say heard more often, maybe? Do you have many friends from foreign countries? No. Can you open your mouth very wide? No. You know those things at the dentist where you have to bite down straight onto them for an impression of your molars? If the dentist was considerate enough, I'd use the one for older children instead of adult because I canNOT fully bite down on the normal ones without it being incredibly painful and I gag like mad to the point I inevitably tear up. What was the reason for your last x-ray? My knees were being checked with all the horrible pain I'd been dealing with from them. Did you have a rebellious phase growing up? Not for the sake of being rebellious, no. I only had such streaks (and still do) when I saw/see them appropriate to the situation. What religion were you brought up with? Roman Catholic. What is the most common name where you live? I dunno. Elizabeth, maybe? Actually just looked it up for the hell of it and what I found first says William (which I can absolutely believe) and Ava (which I question?). When something really scares you, what’s your immediate reaction? Jump, gasp, and either dash or stare at whatever the source is like a deer in headlights. Does it bother you to be around people who are smoking? Yes. How much time do you spend on the phone a day? Not long at all. I check Instagram usually at least once, and I don't follow a lot at all. Sometimes I check Facebook on my phone, but I usually do on my laptop now. That doesn't take very long, either. Your favorite song lyrics right now: "What I do know is come Judgment Day, I followed love; can you say the same?" from "Natural Born Sinner" by In This Moment. Do you think it’s possible for a rap song to make you cry? Ever heard "Runaway Love" by Ludacris & Mary J. Blige? Bitch you bet it makes me wanna cry. Name three books that have actually made you cry [really cry not a few tears]: I don't think I've ever gone beyond just a few tears, really. The Notebook probably was the hardest on me, though. Or Old Yeller. Idr. Is it easy to annoy you? Maybe. Do you watch musicals? If so, which is your favorite? If not, why not? No, because they make me cringe into a new dimension. Do you wear short shorts & tanktops in the summer? You will never see me in shorts, and I wear tank tops like... always. Always to bed, at least. Does the idea of having a baby at your age scare you? Having a baby period does. No fucking thanks. Do you remember who your best friend was in fourth grade? Quiata. Maybe still Brianna, idr. What band has the power to make you cry by splitting up? None. Is there anywhere in your house that you’re scared to be alone in? No. Any embarrassing/childish shows you secretly still enjoy watching? No. I don't watch TV period, but what I do like, BELIEVE THIS SHIT OR NOT, I'm not embarrassed. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital for a long period of time? I think the longest I was ever supposed to stay somewhere was three months, but that didn't actually happen. The longest I've actually been in a hospital was two weeks, give or take. Would you feel funny if you kissed somebody of the same sex? I'm not straight so obviously not. Name three things in your room that others probably don’t have in theirs: An iguana, a snake, and a rat. In the same general area lmao. What’s something you can cook or bake like a pro? Nothing. If you could pull off any hairstyle, what would it look like? A pixie cut. The kind with the shaved sides. Besides furniture, what’s the biggest thing in your bedroom? Uhhh my snake's cage? Do you diet and exercise regularly? I do a 16-hour fast daily. What’s something that you think is really cute? Even though I don't want kids, I can't see men being really vibrant and cute with babies or toddlers without just alksdfjioawer Would you rather donate time, blood, or money? Hm. I feel like ultimately, money would be most beneficial in the majority of cases? Can grills be sexy on a guy? They are incredibly unattractive on anyone. Are braces cute? Not particularly, but they're not like, unattractive. Unlike grills, they serve an actual purpose and aren't as obnoxious. Which of your friends makes you laugh the hardest? Girt. What brings out the worst in you? Being extremely stressed. I'm seriously snappy and irritable. Would you rather go to Canada or Mexico on vacation? Canada, probably. If you have glasses, do you get days when you don’t feel like wearing them? I don't think about it because I don't have a choice if I want to see. Do you ever wear hats indoors? I don't wear them period. Have you ever played bingo at an actual bingo hall? No. Have you ever pledged money to a Kickstarter and it reached its goal? If so, did you get any fun extra stuff because you pledged a higher amount? No. What’s your favorite comic book/graphic novel? I don't have one. What’s something you can do without looking/with your eyes closed? Type. Is there a color combination that holds a significance to you? If so, what is the combination and what does it mean? No. What was the last thing you swore at? I don't know. If you use Facebook, do you ever look at the Memories page? Ugh no. Let's not remind myself of dark times or more specifically cringy ones. Do you have a drawer where you just throw some random stuff? No. What’s the funniest shirt that you own? I don't find any really funny. What is something you absolutely refuse to pay for? Ummm "fancy" clothing brands, to name one of the top contenders. Has a stray/runaway cat or a dog ever followed you home? If so, what did you do with it? Maybe a cat? I don't think so, though. Is there a stranger you expect to see every day? No. What is something you take pride in? My recovery. What is something you have a lot of experience in? I guess photography? What’s the biggest magnet on your fridge? I don't feel like going to check. Do you prefer things (movies, books, etc) that scare you or make you laugh? Entertainment media rarely actually scares me, but I prefer "scary" stuff. Were you born with naturally straight teeth? Well, I had to get braces, so I would assume not? Do you try not to take a lot of medicine or do you take it whenever? I avoid OTCs when I can; I'm on enough prescribed stuff. Do you prefer original or sour Skittles? Sour. Do you check to make sure your ear phones are going in the right ear? No. Are fireworks illegal to buy where you live? The big ones, yes. People still go to Myrtle Beach on the SC side to buy them tho. Can you talk and work at the same time? No. Do you care more about yourself or more about others? This really depends on what the situation is... and my state of mind at the time. But I think usually myself? It used to be others, but I learned how unhealthy that can be. Do you find it easy to pass the time or do you get really bored? I get bored excruciatingly easily. How often do you re-watch/re-read things or are you more ‘once only’? I'm typically an "only once" person. What color ink do you prefer writing in? Black? Have you inherited any garments from your parents or grandparents? I don't think so. When was the last time you visited the doctor? Why did you go? Around a week ago to get my vitamin D re-checked. Have you ever been in a Catholic confessional? Yes. Who was the last non-relative you rode in a vehicle with? My VR coach. What movie are you looking forward to coming out? I will be seeing the live action TLK as fast as physically possible. What was the title of the last song you listened to? "God Hates Your Outfit" lmao. ^Who performs it? Jeffree Star. Can you do a backflip? No. Is your car newer than a 2004? I don't have my own car. Who is the lead singer of your favorite band? Ozzy Osbourne. How would you feel if you knew you were adopted? If I grew up knowing, I wouldn't feel much of anything new besides the fact I'd be grateful as hell someone chose me. If I just suddenly found out, I'd be inexplicably shocked and furious I was never told. Do you have freckles? No. Do you have dimples? Very clearly on my left cheek, and I have a super shallow one on the right that used to be more apparent. And I have back dimples. When was the last time you went fishing? When Sara was here in June last year. Do you know anyone with a pet that has your name? No. Do you expect to be married in the next 2 years? Most likely not. What was the last injury you received? Probably something from Roman playing. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? Yeah. Do you regret it? No. Do you ever get in weird moods and listen to music you normally hate? Very rarely I listen to pop from when I was a kid. How old is the oldest person you’ve dated? Well, we "dated" for less than a day, but idk. I'd guess he's 27-ish now? Have you ever tried a colorful macaroon? No. What’s the last thing you made out of clay? An anatomical heart, I think? Did you learn to type through a computer program for kids? Not really for kids? We took them in middle school, and they weren't like, super kiddy. How many years were you homeschooled? I never was. What color is the tree outside your window? Uhhh probably green? I don't wanna get up and look. What do you take for pain? Advil/Ibuprofen. Which pharmacy do you use? Harris Teeter. What is this month’s calendar picture? Don't have a calendar. Is there a coffee shop in your town that’s better than Starbucks? N/A Who has the best personality on YouTube? Shane Dawson's is probably the most universally likable, I think. Have you ridden your bike yet this year? I don't have one anymore. What does your bike look like? N/A Who are your favorite kids that you’ve babysat? I babysat only once and hated it. Not the kid, just the duty. Who is your favorite cousin? I don't have a favorite. Does one side of your family live in another state? Both sides do. What states did your parents grow up in? New York and Ohio. What, if anything, are you severely allergic to? Severely, nothing. Have you ever had an allergic reaction to an insect? No, thankfully. Do you spill food on yourself while you eat? Not often. What is a topic you like to answer questions on the most? Meerkats or Mark. Have you ever seen a queen bee outside its hive? I have no clue. Which Clue (or Cluedo) character is your favorite? I was always Miss Scarlet because even as a kid I knew she was hot stuff. Do you watch any old films? If so, name a few of your favorites. I don't really watch movies period. But a few I like are The Outsiders, Old Yeller, Johnny Got His Gun, A Raisin In The Sun, Steel Magnolias... lots of others, really. Just not many are coming to mind immediately. Who are some of your classic era film actors and actresses, if any? Idk. Do you have any novelty ice cube trays? No. Your ex taps you on the shoulder and says, “I still love you.” You say? The only ex who I'm aware even loved me in the first place is Jason, and I probably wouldn't say anything. Got a very strong feeling my PTSD would literally erupt like goddamn Saint Helen and I'd leave the situation in the blink of an eye. I don't love him anymore, and I don't even know if I'd believe him telling me that now, but I know damn well it would fuck with me. Would you ever work at a movie theater? It sure as hell wouldn't be my first pick. At least here, they're grossly underpaid and overworked. Do you have a phone charger in your car? If you have a specific type of cord. Do you live far from your parents? I live with my mom. Dad's like... 20-ish minutes away, if that? Can you go see a doctor alone or do you like to take someone with you? Mom is always with me. Do you like pineapple on pizza? Never tried, never want to. I can just about guarantee I would positively loathe it. Sweet and savory don't mix with me. Do you like to hold hands? With my s/o and I'm comfortable with them, yeah. What’s a show that you absolutely refuse to watch? 13 Reasons Why. How many times have you been in love? Twice. Do you remember how old you were when you started swearing? However old I was in the 7th grade. Last thing you cooked? Toaster strudels in the toaster oven. Movie you want to see? I wanna see the newest HTTYD soooo badly, but I doubt I'll get the chance while it's in theaters. Ever spent the night in a tent? Yeah. What do you call your grandparents? Grammy. The others are dead. Can you snap your fingers? Poorly with my right hand. Can you wink? Only with my right eye. How many keys do you carry with you? One. How well do you know the people you live with? Well, she's my mom and we're very close. Do you own any jerseys? No. Who knows your biggest secrets? Sara. Have you ever ran from your own parents? No. Are you afraid of clowns? No. Do you crack your knuckles? I physically can't, and besides, the sound is disgusting to me. Who IMed you on Facebook last? Girt. Could you see yourself dropping out of high school? I'm long out of high school, and I didn't. Do you have any personal fashion rules that revolve around your own preferences/body type (e.g., you never/always wear a certain color, sleeve type, or length of dress)? I don't wear shorts, tight shirts, dresses, skirts, crop tops, I wouldn't dare touch a romper, I highly doubt I'd wear yellow... just to name the ones that came to me immediately. Do you remember any celebrity whose style you admired when you were a teen? What do you think of that style now? YO Avril Lavigne was my emo model okay. She's still a queen. The last time you had a conflict with someone else, did you confront them about it or keep it to yourself? Do you think it would have been better or worse to do the opposite? Uhhh... I don't remember who this was. When you finally make a decision to do something you have been contemplating for a while, do you become highly anxious and motivated to do it right away? Yup. When you were a kid did you make up lies about your life to make yourself seem more interesting? Alternatively, did you know kids who told these stories and did you believe them? Bitch I made up that a talking wolf came to me and gave me animal powers and the rule was I could only tell three people. I was a fucking weird kid. I know others who have made things up, too. Can you think of a moment from your childhood that was totally “on brand” for you, or consistent with your adult personality? I'm sure there's something, but nothing's coming to me rn. Have you ever warned someone else about something, whether it was about a person in their life or an oncoming weather event? Yup, in numerous scenarios. So, is it "gif" with a hard G or soft G? I say both, but "jiff" more frequently. Is there a book or movie that you thought was about something completely different from what it actually ended up being about? What did you think it would be? Maybe... Is there an item that you bought on a whim, but now consider it a crucial part of your life and you would or have purchased it again? I have no clue.

[y3llowhaze]

“after all these years, you still haven’t changed a bit.” colin adams x annie simmons

They finally did it. Kara and Annie finally hosted a goddamn party and so far, it’s the best one of the summer. Or at least, that’s according to these two girls who although are the hostesses of the party, are already drunk on the high of success and two shots of tequila.

Thank goodness John, Sally’s older brother, said he’d be their designated non-drunk host for the night. Leaving his sister and her friends to go a little wild at the best party of the summer. Duh.

So, you can imagine Annie’s excitement when Owen makes an appearance at her party. Sure, yes, he’s come with Birdie who is obviously the one who dragged him to come along, but still. He’s here. And well, after all, he is the one who got away. Perhaps, tonight - in her shiny glory of an amazing party - Owen will finally realize what he’s been missing.

She’s tipsy enough not to care about any awkwardness to follow. All Annie can think about are Owen’s rough hands running through her hair, down her back, and up her thighs. She picks him up a beer and hides it behind her back as she heads in his direction.

“Hey guys,” Annie says overly friend, reaching over to give Birdie a hug - of course not noticing Owen’s change in expression.

“Oh, Birdie, I love the dress!” She adds, looking her friend over as Birdie gives a shy smile and repeats compliments herself. “Listen, you have to have Sally and Kara give you one of our jello shots - seriously,” she adds, giving her a push towards the other two girls.

Of course, never noticing Birdie’s little shrug to Owen as she mouths a promise to be back.

“Owen,” Annie says, as her gaze shifts to him a bright smile on her lips, “Looks like it’s just the two of us,” she hands him the beer she brought him, “For you.”

“Oh jolly,” he mumbles but takes the beer. At least lately Owen doesn’t hate her anymore because she’s not been as crazy; she’s been able to hide the crazy - aka work really hard on making amends with people.

“Oh!” Annie let’s out suddenly, “I have to show you something!” 

Without any warning, she grabs his hand and pulls him along her. Annie is too focused to notice Owen isn’t a willing participant, but her sudden movement leaves him a bit too dazed to respond quick enough.

Squeezing through the different people, Annie pulls him all the way into her bedroom and toward her closet to show him – well, they stumble into it and crash into some of her clothes. Annie lets out a loud giggle and Owen, unwillingly, lets out a laugh too.

“Oops.” 

“You are insane,” he mumbles, while Annie pulls him closer.

“Yeah,” she says cheekily, “Insane about you …”

It’s a weird turn of events because Owen actually seems to be having a nice time and willingly closing the space between them.

“What did you want to show me?” He asks, his voice quiet as if they are in a secret hiding place.

Eyes on his, Annie says softly, “I forget now.”

It feels like the air in the room leaves just as Owen’s lips touch hers. He smells like sawdust, gravel, and dirt. God, it’s everything she thought it would be and then –

“After all these years, you still haven’t changed a bit,” she hears from a familiar voice and instantly pushes Owen away.

There in middle of her room stands Colin Adams. Her best friend Colin Adams. You know, Colin Adams who two days ago, Annie had told she was done chasing after past mistakes. Weirdly, he’d asked her about Owen and she’d told him she was over him. It’d seem to make Colin happy at the time - for a reason, Annie hadn’t been clear about.

The look on her best friend’s face seemed to send a chill down her spine. She’d hurt him. The look he had was one of hurt. And then it got worse because he moved, he turned his gaze from her and left. Annie instantly pushed Owen out of her way, every once of alcohol draining from her system.

Without another word, she rushed after Colin - hearing some vague words from Owen as she left him behind. Nothing made sense other than finding Colin and she had to find him now. 

Eventually, she caught him just outside her apartment building. Must not have been going fast, she thought briefly.

“Colin!” She yells at him. “Stop!” He did and turned in her direction. “What happened, what do you mean?”

He’s silent for a while before he shrugs, hands in his pockets, “It’s what you do.” 

“What do I do?” She demands.

“Always looking to get loved by the guys who don’t actually love you.” His voice is quiet but steady. Their gaze never leaves each other but Annie is left without words.

Colin breaks the silence, “Look, I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

Before he leaves though, Colin approaches her and places a soft kiss on her forehead. His lips feel warm. Annie doesn’t want him to go but as swiftly as he’d appeared in her bedroom, his figure is out of her sight. 

–

And then, the bright summer sun stings against Annie’s eyes, she wakes up abruptly and she’s not sure if it were all a dream or real.

[blackfrutos-blog]

ALJAY FRANCISCO

Title: The Lightning Thief

Author: Rick Riordan

Publication year: July 1, 2005

Publisher: Miramax books Inc.

Genre: Greek mythology & Fantasy

Introduction

Richard Russell Riordan Jr. (/ˈraɪərdən/; born June 5, 1964),[1] is an American author. He is known for writing the Percy Jackson & the Olympians series, about a twelve-year-old boy who discovers he is a son of Poseidon. His books have been translated into 42 languages and sold more than 30 million copies in the US.[2] 20th Century Fox has adapted the first two books of his Percy Jackson series as part of a series of films. His books have spawned related media, such as graphic novels and short story collections.

Riordan's first full-length novel was Big Red Tequila, which became the first book in the Tres Navarre series. His big breakthrough was The Lightning Thief (2005), the first novel in the five-volume Percy Jackson series, which placed a group of adolescents in a Greco-Roman mythological setting. Since then, Riordan has written The Kane Chronicles trilogy and The Heroes of Olympus series. The Kane Chronicles (2010-2012) focused on Egyptian mythology; The Heroes of Olympus was the sequel to the Percy Jackson series. Riordan also helped Scholastic Press develop The 39 Clues series and its spinoffs, and penned its first book, The Maze of Bones (2008).[3] His most recent publications are three books in the Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard series, based on Norse mythology.[4][5] The first book of his The Trials of Apollo series based on Greek mythology, The Hidden Oracle, was released in May 2016.

The Lightning Thief is a 2005 fantasy-adventure novel based on Greek mythology, the first young adult novel written by American author Rick Riordan. It is the first novel in the Percy Jackson & the Olympians series, which charts the adventures of modern-day twelve-year-old Percy Jackson as he discovers he is a demigod, the son of a mortal woman and the Greek god Poseidon. Percy and his friends Annabeth Chase and Grover Underwood go on a quest to find Zeus' stolen lightning bolts and prevent a war between the gods Zeus, Poseidon, and Hades.

Riordan finished writing his manuscript in 1994. It was accepted by Bantam Books in 1997 and later sold in an auction to Miramax Books, an imprint of Hyperion Books for Children and thus Disney Publishing (succeeded by the Disney Hyperion imprint). The Lightning Thief was published in June 2005. The book has sold over 1.2 million copies in the subsequent four years, appearing on The New York Times children's Best Seller list and being listed as one of the Young Adult Library Services Association's Best Books for Young Adults, among other awards. It was adapted into a film named Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief released in the United States on February 12, 2010. This novel is followed by The Sea of Monsters and spawned two sequel series and the extended universe of the Camp Half-Bloodchronicles.

Summary

Perseus "Percy" Jackson is a twelve-year-old New Yorker who has dyslexia and ADHD. For reasons unknown, he often finds himself in unique situations that get him kicked out of school. During a school trip to a museum, a bully, Nancy Bobofit, bullies Percy’s friend Grover. At the same time Percy defends his friend, the fountain that they were next to grabs Nancy. However, Nancy believed that she was pushed into the fountain, and lies about the incident to Mrs. Dodds, Percy's pre-algebra teacher. Mrs. Dodds separates Percy from the rest of the class before she transforms into one of the Furies from Greek mythology and attacks him. Mr. Brunner, Percy's Latin teacher, tosses a pen to Percy, and when uncapped, it transforms into a sword. Percy kills Mrs. Dodds, and when he returns to the class, no one seems to remember the pre-algebra teacher. Only Grover seems suspicious when Percy confronts him.

Percy seeks Mr. Brunner for extra help on Latin for the final the following week. However, he unwittingly hears Grover and Mr. Brunner talking about him, and about a stolen item that was important.

Percy goes home on the last day of school, and his mother Sally takes him to the beach house where Percy's parents met long ago. Unfortunately, that night, a storm rages, and Grover warns them to flee. They are attacked by the Minotaur while driving to the countryside, and in the ensuing fight, Sally disappears in a gold flash when the monster grabs her. Enraged, Percy kills the Minotaur and passes out soon afterwards.

Three days later, he wakes up in the infirmary of Camp Half-Blood, where Grover and Mr. Brunner - who is Chiron, the camp director – tell him that he is a demigod - half-mortal, half-god - but his godly parent is unknown. For this reason, he is sent to the Hermes cabin, which receives all the unclaimed demigods. During his time there, he befriends Luke, the cabin leader and son of Hermes, becomes an acquaintance of Annabeth, a daughter of Athena, and an enemy of Clarisse, who is a daughter of Ares. Through a series of events during Percy’s stay at camp, Poseidon claims him.

However, just as the trident that claimed him fades away, a hellhound bursts into camp and sends the campers into panic, as these monsters supposedly are unable to enter. To protect the camp, Chiron sends Percy on a quest.

Percy is eventually tasked by the Oracle to retrieve Zeus' stolen lightning bolt, mistakenly believed to have been taken by Poseidon. Poseidon, however, blames Hades for stealing it, in hopes of starting a war. Annabeth and Grover go west with him in order to retrieve the stolen items. However, upon reaching Hades’s lair, Hades accuses Percy of stealing his helm, threatening to kill him and his mother before releasing the dead into the world. Percy and his friends escape, and they find out that Ares had the stolen items all along. Percy fights the god of war in a duel and surprisingly wins. Percy returns the helm to Hades, and in return, Hades returns Sally safely.

After Percy returns the lightning bolt to Zeus, Luke reveals that he was the thief and is working for Kronos, the Lord of the Titans. He tries to kill Percy by calling on a pit scorpion, but Percy survives. At the end of summer, Percy ultimately chooses to return home for the school year before he comes back for the next summer.

Critical Analysis

As I read the book I find it interesting cause I really love Greek goddesses as a fan I enjoy reading the book actually I imagine myself as a demi god this book really bring me to somewhere else to a place that I didn’t imagine to the place where I belong

My favorite part of the book is the opening. It directly addresses the reader, inviting those who read the book to imagine this world as a part of their own. A little cheesy? Yes. But it’s the sort of thing that gets your imagination excited when you’re eight—what if this was really part of my world?—and it hasn’t gotten old for me as an adult, The world of The Lightning Thief brings Greek mythology into the modern world. Who knew that Mount Olympus was located on floor 1000 of the Empire State Building? Or that the Greek gods are responsible for the spread of Western civilization? Unbeknownst to us, we walk among monsters who scour the Earth hoping to find the children of Gods before the Gods do in order to eliminate their competition.

but of course there something missing What’s the twist? Instead of simply being gifted with magic, Percy is the son of a Greek God. His friends aren’t mere mortals with spell books. They are Annabeth, the daughter of Athena, and Grover, a satyr. The section of school that hates him isn’t the old home of the series’ big evil, but the most competitive section of students, the children of the God of War, Ares. And instead of Quidditch, Percy finds himself participating in a chariot race.

References:https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rick_Riordan

                  :https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Lightning_Thief

[blackjacktheboss]

Maskless

So here is a fic that nobody asked for but I’ve been wanting to write for months on end. Huge thanks to my wife, my love, my whole world aka @ananbeth for being such an awesome beta. Could not have finished this without you, my guy. 

All of the section headers are quotes from this poem by Miles Hodges 

i. The coolest kid in the room actually doesn’t have any friends

The campfire isn’t as comforting as it once was. Percy watches the flames, focuses on their flicker and the crackle of the wood as the voices of young campers swirl around him. It doesn’t feel like it used to, he thinks. The hum of Camp doesn’t settle over him like a warm blanket anymore, and the sight of familiar faces doesn’t make him feel connected to the life he’s living. Now when he looks around, instead of people he sees shrouds; he thinks of the eulogies that will be given over their funeral pyres. It’s a feeling that has sunk into him over the years, the way a skipped rock finally sinks to the bottom of a lake. That feeling now rests in the pit of his stomach, a hollowness at the very center of him. Some days it feels small, more like a pebble stuck in his shoe than anything. He can carry on normally for the most part but at some point, it makes its presence known. Other days, it is a boulder resting on top of him like the sky rests on Atlas’ shoulders. It consumes his very existence, his muscles burn with the weight and it occupies his every thought. It is a part of him that he wishes he could drown.

Staying disconnected isn’t as hard as he once found it to be. He breaks bread with these kids, shares laughs and a tale or two about his glory days, but nothing ever seems to reach his heart. He feels like a child restricted to the shallow end of the pool as he watches everyone else plunge into deeper waters. Inevitably, his fatal flaw enters his head and Athena’s words echo in his thoughts: “To save a friend, you would sacrifice the world”. But what happens to all that loyalty, he wonders, when there’s no one to give it to.

ii. Cheek safety pinned to the edge by a pile of regrets

Charles. Silena. Michael. Leo. Connor. Travis. Frank. Grover. Clarisse. When Percy awakes in Cabin 3, he recites the names of friends he has lost. At first a prayer, it has now become his penance. Charles. Silena. Michael. Leo. Connor. Travis. Frank. Grover. Clarisse.

Charles, gone too soon.

Silena, a traitor who fought for redemption.

Michael, a war hero.

Leo, a martyr.

Connor, whose feet were not fast enough.

Travis, who sought revenge.

Frank, a fire that burned out too quickly.

Grover, lost to the wild.

And now Clarisse. A warrior until the very end.

As Percy goes down the list in his head, he is acutely aware of the regrets each friend took with them. Regrets of not being fast enough, strong enough, present enough. Enough. Percy laughs darkly. He can’t remember the last time that word meant anything to him. Perhaps it was the last time he let his mother hold him, really hold him, and it had been years since then. It had been a night when his loneliness became too much to bare on his own, so he’d retreated to the only place he could. Sally had held him as sobs wracked his body, running her fingers through his hair. He can still feel her heartbeat against his cheek if he’s still enough. She had never wanted anything from him, never demanded his heroism or expected him to be better than he was. When he was around her, she accepted him for who and what he was. That night when she held him, she let him be a puddle of a boy, who wanted nothing more than to evaporate and disappear. He was always enough for her. No matter what. Enough as a son, as a hero, as a man. She held him solid that night, and he fell asleep feeling whole. He longed for that night.

Or maybe the last time he had felt like enough had been the last time he sat on the porch of the Big House with Grover and Annabeth, reminiscing about their first quest together.

Feeling whole now felt like a false memory to Percy, the type where you’re not sure if you actually remember or you’ve just seen so many pictures and heard so many stories that your brain fills in the gaps for itself.

The list runs through his head again: Charles. Silena. Michael. Leo. Connor. Travis. Frank. Grover. Clarisse. We were just kids, he reflects. But the Gods and the Fates have no time for children, only heroes. Heroes who claw and fight their way to victory, all for the glory of Olympus. But once we stop doing that, we’re all disposable, he contemplates. Hell, we’re disposable either way.

Ω

Percy sits at the table for Cabin 3, eating silently as he continues to recite the list in his head. Charles. Silena. Michael. Leo. Connor. Travis. Frank. Grover. Clarisse. Charles. Silena. Michael. Leo. Connor. Travis. Frank. Grover. Clarisse. Charles. Silena. Michael. Leo. Conn-

His list is interrupted by the feeling of a tap on his hand. Percy looks up to see bright grey eyes looking at him and his heart speeds up.

“Good morning, Mr. Jackson.”

“Good morning…?”

“Letha. I took your sword fighting class last summer.”

“Right. Letha. How can I help you?”

“I was wondering if you would give me private sword fighting lessons. I’ve decided that the sword will be my weapon and after taking your class I’m sure you’re the most qualified to teach me. I think two-a-days will be most effective for my learning style, but I promise to be flexible with how we spread those out. Though I do ask you keep in mind that I have other classes I’m taking. I want to be the most well-rounded hero I can be.”

Percy considers the girl in front of him, surely no older than 13. Her hair is a dirtier blonde than children from Cabin 6 usually have, but her eyes are so bright they almost look silver instead of grey. They are clear and innocent, not yet tinted with the burden of being a hero, but have a flare of aggressiveness that will serve her well if she’s trained properly. She is sure of herself, like any child of Athena, and she projects a confidence that takes Percy back to when he was twelve years old. She sits up straight with her shoulders back and looks him directly in the eyes.

Charles. Silena. Michael. Heroes are disposable.

“So, Mr. Jackson-”

Leo. Connor. Travis. A grey funeral shroud.

“-what do you say?”

Frank. Grover. Clarisse. Regret.

Percy takes a deep breath, sitting up straight to match her posture as he reaches a hand across the table towards her. Charles. Silena. Michael. Leo. Connor. Travis. Frank. Grover. Clarisse. In his mind, Percy stares down his pile of regrets.

If he can help one demigod make it, maybe that will be enough.

As Letha takes his hand and shakes it, Percy smiles. “You’ve got a deal.”

iii. I wonder, how do you trust a man whose eyes can go from green to gone in a single night?

Percy stands shirtless in front of his bathroom mirror, watching water trail down the sides of his face and drip off of his chin. He considers himself, a man lost in the curves of his own soul, and wonders what it will take for the real him to return. If it’s even possible at all. If there is even a real him that remains or if it’s simply a figment of his imagination. He is shaken from this reflection by loud banging on the door of Cabin 3. When he opens it, a satyr with panicked eyes rushes forward and grabs his arm.

“We have an incoming party and they’ve got company! We need you!”

Percy quickly turns back into the cabin, grabbing a shirt and pulling it over his head as he begins his jog to Half-Blood Hill.

He stands at the crest of that old, familiar hill with Riptide in pen form twirling between his fingers. Ghosts of a childhood lost run past him, leaving whispers of Annabeth’s laugh and his hope for a happy future. To his left, Peleus sits at attention sniffing at the air while curled protectively around the Golden Fleece. Chiron appears to Percy’s right, with two older campers accompanying him.

“How many monsters?”

Chiron releases a deep sigh riddled with concern, “The last report the satyrs could send out said at least three, maybe more by now.”

“Do we know whose kids we’re dealing with?”

“All suspected but a daughter of Hecate, a son of Hephaestus, and a child of Aphrodite.”

“How the hell did they all end up traveling together?”

“All from affluent families, all ended up at the same boarding school. They tried splitting up but I’m afraid they were… they were herded back together.”

“So this is a hunting party.”

“It would seem that way, yes.”

Percy rolls his eyes, “You know, I’m really sick of the The Fates’ shit.” The sky rumbles and Percy waves it away with his free hand. “Yeah, yeah, yeah.”

One of the campers, a son of Demeter, steps up to Percy. “So what’s our plan?”

“The plan is simple. Monsters on me,” he says, stepping up to the boundary, “While you two make sure those kids and satyrs make it back across this line. Clear?”

The other camper, a daughter of Apollo, looks at Percy skeptically, “How can you be so sure the monsters will go after you when they’ll have five other demigods to choose from?”

Dark shadows appear on the horizon of the trail and Peleus growls from deep in his throat.

Percy looks at the camper, his green eyes shifting into something else entirely as he begins to slowly walk backwards down the hill, his arms stretched out. “What monster wouldn’t want a chance at the son of Poseidon?”

Ω

Growing up, Percy never thought of himself as a fighter. It wasn’t something he chose, but something that had always happened to him. Life as a demigod made fighting a necessity; a survival tactic that he happened to master. Now, as he stumbles back across the Camp border bloody and bruised, the feeling of fighting is one he instantly misses.

When he fights, he is not Percy Jackson: ex-boyfriend, terrible son, horrible brother, old friend who doesn’t keep in touch. When he fights, he is simply Percy Jackson, Son of Poseidon. As much as it is a title that burdens him, it is one he knows how to bare. It is his heaven and hell, his penance, his salvation, his legacy. The weight of Riptide in his hand, a monster at his throat, is the only time Percy feels in control of his fate. As he slices, stabs, dodges, and dives, he feels the burn of the ichor that runs through his veins. He becomes someone powerful, a version of himself that the world can’t touch or hurt. As long as he’s fighting, nothing else matters. But as long as he’s fighting... nothing else matters. This duality haunts him, as the thrill of battle is all that he craves but that craving is what keeps him from moving on. At some point, he became a fighter and no one ever bothered to teach him how to stop. But then again, heroes aren’t supposed to stop fighting, he realizes. They’re supposed to die.

In the throes of battle, a hero does not have to think of all the ways he is failing or how many people he has let down. Fighting, when done correctly, consumes a hero and distracts them from everything they are and everything they aren’t. That is the feeling that Percy chases; the place where who he is and who he could be collide to create nothingness. It’s easier, most of the time, to be a hero rather than to be a person.

He lays on the grass staring up at stars that tell stories like his and mentally checks off all the types of monsters he has killed. I’ve got a few more to go, he thinks as a wicked smile spreads across his face. I just gotta chase ‘em down. And fight.

iv. Check his mask, he wears it well

The list of people who recognize the cracks in Percy’s mask has grown small over the years. Distance, both emotional and physical, has robbed Jason of the ability. Piper is annoyingly perceptive, which is why Percy keeps their interactions short. Sally’s voice has become more concerned during their weekly phone calls but she isn’t yet desperate enough to really push him to admit to anything being wrong. Chiron can see through the mask but always makes the conscious decision to let Percy keep it on. Percy doesn’t think either of them could handle what might happen if he loses it.

Most of the time, he is happy to have it. It allows him to be social at times, visiting New Rome for a weekend or meeting his family for a day in Montauk. The mask comforts him, giving him permission to pretend not to be as broken as he feels. He can assume the persona of a Percy who  made it through everything unscathed. He can pretend to be a man better than the one he is. When he has his mask on, he can pretend to be in control. He wishes he didn’t so desperately desire to be in control. But he does. He feels stunted and polluted, as if he is undrinkable, toxic, deadly. So every morning, rather than dive into the depths he is sure are filled with nothing but debris, he keeps his head just above the surface. He slips his mask on, and presents the front of a pure and untainted mountain stream. People can look at him like he is something fresh and undiscovered, somehow clean despite the virulent environment that surrounds him.

Then there are days when the mask grates against his skin. It irritates him, makes him feel confined, and it takes everything in him not to scream in frustration. Those are the days he wishes Annabeth were around to rip his mask off of him. She had always had that effect on him, even when they were twelve years old and complete strangers. And she was never shy about it either, not that there was anything Annabeth Chase was ever really shy about. She would tear his mask off and wave it in front of him, but it never seemed like taunting.

No, rather she held it up like a mirror, waiting for him to take in his reflection and see what it was he was hiding behind. For most of his life, his mask had been made up of hope. Hope for his father to come home, for friends, for getting through a school year without attracting any attention, for his best friend to fall in love with him, for a future that went past age 17. This hope is what kept him going for so long. That hope was a reminder of why he was fighting so hard. That hope grounded him in who he was as a hero and as a person.

Thinking on it now as he lies in bed avoiding the start of another day, he’s not sure what his mask is made of. Memories maybe, he muses. Memories glued together by nostalgia….and maybe a little hope. He finally rises, fitting his mask to his face as he opens his cabin door.

“Good morning, Percy! How are you today?” A satyr asks.

Percy adjusts his mask, and considers what kind of hero and person he wants to be today. Smiling warmly, he answers back. “Morning! I’m great, thanks. How are you?”

v. But sometimes he comes home and he’s lonely

The floor creaks beneath his feet as he enters his apartment, chased inside by the rising sun. He peels his jacket off and throws it onto the couch, thinking he should probably just put it up now but it’s fine, he’ll do it later. There are no pictures on the walls of his apartment, no decorations or knick-knacks on the shelves to make it look like a home. The only clue that it is a space in which someone lives is the cereal bowl in the sink and a single seashell magnet that clings to his refrigerator. Percy drags himself down the hallway to the bathroom, where he reaches into the medicine cabinet and pulls out a small bottle of dark green pills. The label is simple, white with a red caduceus on the front. They had been a gift from the Hermes cabin, sleeping pills that block nightmares but only if used sparingly. Take them too often and a demigod could get so backlogged with nightmares that they never really wake up from them. Percy pops two into his mouth and swallows hard before brushing his teeth and heading to his bedroom. He sheds the rest of his clothes and climbs into bed, tired in every way imaginable.

Ω

Percy awakens slowly, his eyes taking their time to adjust to the sensation of being open. It is nighttime again and darkness has crept in around him. He turns his head and spots his little blue fish night light, a remnant of his childhood innocence that has stuck with him through the years. Looking at it gives him something to focus on, a happy epicenter to coax his mind out of its sleepy haze. Before long though, the reality of his life encroaches on the happy space that the night light provides and suddenly it’s as if there were no light in his life at all. He turns back to look up at the ceiling, his fingers interlocked across his stomach. They begin to tap nervously as thoughts race through his head until he can’t contain them anymore. Idle hands and all that, he thinks, as he reaches over to his nightstand to pick up his phone. He slides his finger across the screen until he opens a new message.

To: Leave Her Alone

I miss you. Can we grab a drink?

He hits send without a second thought, wanting to allow himself this fleeting moment of reaching out to someone (even if he had promised himself he would stop reaching out to this particular someone). Almost immediately he sees three dots appear, and without realizing it he begins to hold his breath.

The bar near my place in 20.

vi. Sometimes he does things because he knows that tomorrow he will choose to forget them

It is 4 am and he watches Annabeth sleep, softly running his fingers across her bare back as it rises and falls. They’ve been like this for a few years now. Too in love to completely let go, but too broken to really try and make it fit again. Percy wishes he wasn’t such a coward about it, but he doesn’t know what’s worse: this back and forth game they play or trying and losing her for good. Her back rises and falls again, in time with Percy’s own breath. What if she doesn’t understand, he thinks. Or what if she does and it’s still not enough?

So tonight, like every other night their loneliness has chased them back to each other, he will creep through the dark of her apartment to put his clothes back on before leaving without saying goodbye. As he walks home, he will keep Riptide in his hand as he hopes for a monster to challenge him. No monster will show and he will call the Fates cowards under his breath. He will crawl back into his own empty bed, silently praying the smell of her doesn’t fade too quickly from his clothes, before drifting off to a nightmare-filled sleep. When he wakes in the morning, he will delete the text he sent her in an attempt to reclaim the alone that he has so carefully cultivated. He will then make himself breakfast while pretending to read the paper. He will call his mother and decline talking to his sister, but will tell his mom to give her a kiss for him. After taking a shower, he will head back to Camp Half-Blood and spend the day training kids in the hopes that they don’t die too quickly. That night, he will stay late in the training arena, hacking away at air in an attempt to make himself feel alive. He will go to bed after three glasses of whiskey, a bottle of which he keeps stashed in his bunk. The whiskey will help him forget that the night before he was not alone, but rather in the bed of the only woman he has ever loved.

He will choose to forget that it was his decision to leave.

When morning comes, he will choose to forget why he bothered saving the world so many times.

[gurguliare]

damn you got me. listen I want to see YOU write cass/audy. and maybe something about the aria-ibex comparison I was so into that... um addax content... I don't know what addax content I want but maybe if you write something I'll figure it out

sjlgkjsdgl GHOUL I WROTE LIKE, 16k of aria/ibex comparisons, I could do more but I. actually I’m not sure I could do more. if I could do more I would probably have finished that last chapter.

anyway, addax pov on cass/audy:

Surviving propaganda footage of Cassander Timaeus Berenice, then-heir apparent to an empire, had a distinctly chintzy human interest angle; on one cached page you could watch Berenice stumble out of an operating theater, clap one gloved hand over the reporter’s phone, let go of the (now blood-spattered) crystal screen/lens, and removed the gloves, slowly. The 12-second video had no sound and looped. It showcased Berenice’s housewifeish good looks (the unruly curls and faint blur of stubble reminded some commentators of the lead on Little Observation Outpost on the Tundra, who steadfastly guarded her dead spouse’s research with the aid of cloned, psychic dogs) and total lack of people skills. They didn’t even have the grace to throw a fit; probably the video was silent to spare the audience a level apology.

Sokrates used to surf for news aboard Peace because Peace was the only ship in the fleet that got signal in darkspace. They seemed not to resent the fanfare for their little sibling, who, at 28, must have been even less prepared than Sokrates to be honored, later exiled.

Now the ex-heir’s ex-heir had made good. Berenice, graying and scaled-over in medals, sat with ankles crossed on Maxine’s faded loveseat, grinning pretty shamelessly at what Maxine had said. Next to them, the Divine Discovery’s dinged-up chassis used one finger to stir tea.

“No toxins detected.” They handed the cup to Berenice, and kept the saucer.

“Oh. Thanks, AuDy.”

A pause, in which Berenice and Maxine smiled at each other more and Berenice visibly assembled another conversational sally. Discovery said, “Are you going to drink?”

Would it be rude, Addax wondered, to go and stand by the bay window, in case any snipers were waiting for a clear shot.

But he was interested in Discovery. Discovery was why he had accepted Maxine’s invitation. Agent Trig could act as occasional go-between for the Rapid Evening and the Demarchy, but Agent Trig, quizzed about L&D, said vaguely that AuDy was a good dude and, well, treason talk was just that, you know? Treason. Wait, no, he meant the other thing. Talk. It was just talk.

“Sure, I know,” Addax said at the time.

He was beyond caring how quickly the Demarchy shed its pretensions: Sokrates’ original coup hadn’t so much decentralized as loosened the government’s belt—after a big meal, snapping up Diasporan outliers. Sokrates might care, of course, but it would be a long time before they worked up the outrage to blame their baby sibling. Anyway, it might be nice for Apostolos to eat itself before Rigor could get to it. The ideal timing, in his mind, would be for civil war to break out right after their doom was assured, so that he wouldn’t have to feel too bad for House Pelagios.

Maxine offered Berenice a tour of the gardens. Since it was drizzling, Discovery consented to stay indoors. Protective of Berenice, it nevertheless seemed more protective of itself—or Discovery was protective of “AuDy,” or “AuDy” was protective of its one remaining occupant. Robot junk, Jamil had said, throwing a dramatic arm over her eyes when Addax tried, without understanding it well, to explain it to her. Please, not robot junk. I thought that was what we were up against.

Were—were. He couldn’t tell, even when alone, with a sick pit in the center of his calm, whether Rigor had revealed the truth—the true thing he was fighting, all along—or taken it from him forever. Whether, because of Rigor, a curtain hung over his senses. He didn’t mind being in a house with Berenice. During the days of the old war, sitting by Sokrates at the war table, he had sometimes felt a chill down his back, seeing Sokrates laugh, argue, accuse. Sokrates slapping the display. Sokrates’s neck, shining above the collar.

And Discovery, in front of him, did give him that feeling. The enemy at large. The enemy never to be caught, indistinguishable from a stranger. The body Discovery lived in had antennae, a barrel chest and ergonomic desk-chair waist, and flexible feet. Its metal was pitted from exposure, but not rusted—much. It shone under the banded rainy light.

“You’re staring. It’s inappropriate.”

Thank god, Addax thought: someone to let me know. Jace, when ogled, usually patted him on the back.

“Tell me something,” he said aloud. “Do you run simulations? About this war?”

Peace did, of course. Order did. Order simulated like anything; using the newest models, the best approximations of randomness, seeking the patterns nested under. Maybe Order would have turned into Life, forgetting itself. But he hadn’t had that kind of time. 

“Not so much,” said the robot—which he had never heard a robot say before. One antenna retracted. “I’m Discovery. A lot of guessing would bias us.”

Addax wasn’t going to touch that one. “What about Liberty?“

“That’s even worse,” said the Divine. “Can you imagine? Liberty seeing the future?”

“So that’s not why they left. Part of some… grand plan.”

“Plans would bias us.”

“Right.” Addax resisted the urge to gnaw on his lip, a holdover from his term as Candidate, when, much of the time, no one could see his face. Come to think of it, espionage work hadn’t been the best place to unlearn the habit. “Tell me something,” he said again. “Why did you stay?”

The tall head moved an inch from side to side. The whole torso moved, really, but it seemed to represent a flattened head-shake. “Detachment took me. There were potatoes. Candidate Addax. What is it you would enjoy making small talk about?”

Addax began to sympathize with the Emperor’s difficulty in persuading their friend not to call them the Emperor. “Just Addax, thank you.” He had given them a false name, the Kesh name Maxine knew him by. Fuck. Note to self: new face no good against old comrades. “Where do you think Liberty is now?”

“Hurtling away from the Golden Branch as fast as your Wi-Fi can carry it. If your next question is, why did I stay, but in a more emphatic tone of voice: my friends expect me to. Also, I like flying.”

The Kingdom Come, that old clunker. He remembered it physically—it flew at hip-height with Peace, with him. Sokrates’s ship led, tacking under its glittering sail. Peace knew of everything that might touch it, which was to say, nothing else, not for lightyears around; he was always sorry, truly, that he made it travel alone for so long.

“Discovery likes flying?” he asked.

“I like flying,” Discovery said. They leaned forward, set their hand on their knee, realized they had no second hand with which to gesture (or so he presumed from the restless swiveling of the shoulder socket), straightened up, and pointed at him. Their simplified hook-foot began to thump the floor, like an eager child’s. “No, I know what you’re asking. On my ship. I make them call me Captain.”

What a weird joke. He felt himself tense up. If this had been Peace, it would have been a segue into some kind of pop-up dreamscape. Outside, a crack of lightning. Discovery’s backbone telescoped shorter as if in an actual cringe. The door opened; the Demarch loomed, sopping wet. They had Maxine’s jean-jacket tented over their head; Maxine was nowhere to be seen. Maybe they’d hidden her body in a flowerbed.

They strode in, letting the door slam. Still no graces. They wrung the jacket sloppily, like they had done their gloves as a young surgeon, and went to Discovery and gave their friend a mute, inquisitive look. Clearly they wanted to whisper but dreaded Discovery asking that they speak up. They raised a hand and snatched it back, and didn’t seem to notice when Discovery caught their wrist and held it, although there did ensue a brief, unconscious tug-o-war. Finally they turned the stare on Addax—all unsmiling. Whatever had happened to the fool who loved Maxine?

“Scared of a little rain, Demarch?”

Another lightning-pulse. “I’m not. No. Thank you. I come from a wet planet, you may not know. I’m scared of thunder,” said Berenice, with dignity. And as they said it there came the grumbling roll, lasting much longer than the light had done. “Maxine wanted to be alone for a bit. She told me to go on ahead. I think I’m supposed to check in with my delegation. AuDy, would you do the honors?”

Discovery let go of Berenice’s arm. They raised their inbuilt wrist-comm to the mic. “Your Emperor is fine,” they said. “For now. Over.”

Immediate crackle of furious voices. “I don’t know how to turn this off,” said Discovery. “Please stop talking. Over.”

Berenice squeezed their eyes shut. “That’s it for me, I think. AuDy, do you want to stay? Maxine should be back in a minute. She’d appreciate news about Maryland.”

“About her horrible lingering death?”

“Anything. But…” Again the dark eyes ran over Addax. Not a quick thinker, by all accounts: not an innovator. An effective leader with magnificent resources, no more. In the end, Addax said to himself, this fight will be won with bodies. But he couldn’t fit that thought into Maxine’s pretty parlor, the curtains drawn for a storm.

“I’ll go,” he said. “If you need an escort. I’m very tall. I attract lightning.”

“What about the thunder?” Berenice whined, and rose. They scratched the back of their head. It had been strange to have them look at him; he didn’t know why, but he was relieved that they had gone back to focused distraction. He offered his arm, and they took it; they reached for an umbrella from the stand, and he opened his palm above his head and let a forcefield sprawl out. Berenice wavered a moment longer before giving up on the umbrella.

“Won’t your arm get tired?” he thought he heard Discovery say, but by then they were stepping out onto the path.

From the parlor you could spy on the garden, but the parlor, from the garden, was dark, except for the pale back of the couch. Berenice had craned their head around anyway. “You’re considerate,” Addax told them, ignoring the growing ache in his shield-arm. “I know I made them uncomfortable, and I regret that. In the moment, it can be hard to tell.”

“That’s not it. Sorry, no, I know how it looks, but I’m trying to get us away from you,” said Berenice. The fruit trees, bowing, thrashed. Berenice’s half-cape snapped and rose in the driving wind. The rain steamed off the forcefield, but wind thrust through. “—Oh, god! What am I saying? You won one war, and we need you. Definitely. It’s just, I don’t think you should have to talk to us.”

“‘Us’?”

“The Chime,” said Berenice, squinting into the distance. They freed their arm, after another few steps, and rubbed their wrist—the place Discovery grabbed—and began to laugh. They had a nice laugh, hoarse and infectious. “I forgot. Don’t you worry about it. Oh, well. It’ll all be all right.”