#god i lvoe them they're terrible

[catgirljaneway]

Thinking about the endgame timeline where kathryn gets them home too late and tuvok's illness is too far along to be cured. Obviously Kathryn blames herself for it because that's sort of her #thing and I was thinking about that but specifically about her promise to Tuvok in caretaker.

Cause she didn't really get him back, did she?

And I bet when Kathryn visited T'pel and Tuvok's children before going to get Tuvok from the Badlands, I bet she promised the same thing to T'pel. I bet she promised to bring Tuvok back to her. Cause that's just the type of person Kathryn Janeway is.

So in the Endgame universe, when she brings back Tuvok but not really, can she bare to look T'pel in the eyes? Can she bare to face Tuvok's children knowing she broke her promise to them, that she brought them back their father but not whole, not safe, not really.

Kathryn used to be a common houseguest in Tuvok's home. (Headcanon ofc but whatever let me have this) His children grew up knowing her. T'pel once tried to teach her to cook (never again after what Kathryn did to her kitchen). They knew Mark. Kathryn attended one of Tuvok's children's Kolinhar's. But now Kathryn is never there because she doesn't believe she has that right anymore. She lost that when she failed them. So in a way Tuvok's family never really got Tuvok back, but they never really got Kathryn back either (a dear family friend).

T'pel still invites Kathryn over. Kathryn always politely declines. T'pel is just doing that because that's the kind of person T'pel is. Vulcans don't show their emotions, of course T'pel wouldn't scream at her or shun her. Kathryn wishes she would. Kathryn needs to be yelled at for this. Why is no one furious with her? For how badly she failed, for the promises she broke.

Kathryn still visits Tuvok (even if she has failed him and broke her promise, her need to be near him, her inability to be without him for too long is stronger than her guilt). In one of his better moments, on a good day when his mind is clearer, he tells her T'pel says she never accepts her invitations. Kathryn says she doesn't deserve to see his family. Tuvok tells her (in a far more vulcan way of course) that she's being dense. That he know the risks when he signed on to Star Trek, that T'pel knew the risks, that his children knew the risks. That no one blames her and he commands her to accept T'pel's invitations.

Kathryn does and as Tuvok grows worse she and T'pel grow closer and T'pel holds Kathryn while she cries because T'pel (a vulcan) doesn't cry for Tuvok, and it's fitting that someone should. Kathryn sleeps in their guest bedroom most of the time.

When Kathryn goes on her mission to change the past, do you think she talked to T'pel one last time before she went? Promised again that she would bring Tuvok back to her and this time she didn't intend to fail?

[loftwinglullaby]

chucks made the definitive best ever cover of ‘sing sing sing’ and it’s important we remember that

[megatraven]

Imagine that Spiderman post but Alex and MC.

And then Alex finding MC and saving her after she was reincarnated.

yes. i lvoe that. i love it so much. i love the angst i love the pain and u know im a SLUT For reincarnation <33

let me deal you another one that's essentially me really just stealing the spiderman plot:

Alex isn't able to save MC. They try, gods above do they try, but it isn't enough, and she dies. Not even in their arms, not even after they have the chance to say goodbye, or "I love you." She dies before they have that chance. Just out of their reach.

They cradle her to themself, apologizing, over and over, wishing against everything for the chance to make it right, to save her.

But she's gone.

Alex can never fully move on from her. They always carry that regret, and that guilt with them. The what-ifs. The maybes. They always love her. And they try to be their best self, because they know its what she would want of them. That she would want them to keep going, to do and be better.

And then, one day, they're ripped away from their world, thrown into a strange parallel with nothing more than the sense that something is wrong- and they need to help fix it.

They come across themself, the one that resides in this parallel world, and Alex sees that they've still got their MC. She hasn't died yet, if it's to happen at all.

From the outside looking in, it seems like Alternate-Alex and Alternate-MC are just in the early stages of dating, and figuring out what that means.

Beyond them, though, there's a much bigger problem than what they've faced in their own world. It isn't just one half-titan causing havoc across the city and Olympus- it's a whole horde of titans. And Deukalion is with them- the Deukalion from their world, before he found himself at the gods' mercy and healing.

And, of course, their alternate self is in the thick of things... with her.

There's that terrible feeling again.

They make themself known, eventually, when the situation gets more difficult, more dangerous.

There's some theory that they have, that after the disruption of a particularly powerful overflow artifact in the alternate world, people from Alex's world got pulled into the alternate. It's hard to wrap their head around, but god shit is weird. They make do.

Alex, Alternate-Alex, and Alternate-MC work together to figure out how to stop the titans, and they have a plan that involves the rooftop of HERA.

Of course, things never go according to plan. Things take a turn for the worse almost immediately when too many titans appear right out the gate. Both versions of Alex try to get MC to leave, but she's always been too stubborn to let them alone.

Giving up on trying to make her go is their first mistake.

The second is when Deukalion, in his grief-stricken rage, throws her from the rooftop, and her Alex can't escape the throng of titans no matter how desperate they are to reach her.

But there's no third mistake. There's no hesitation now, just full-on determination to never let the past repeat itself again. Alex dives off the roof after her, and with help from their aura, they boost themself enough to catch her before she hits the ground.

And so she's there, and she's alive in their arms, and they did it. They saved her, this time. She isn't their MC, but she's still MC and she's alive because of them.

It's redemption. It's salvation.

It's knowing that their alternate self will not have to live with having failed her the same way that they had failed their own.

They set her down and they're unable to stop themself from crying, but she doesn't say anything about it. She rubs the tears away with a gentle touch before she takes their hands in hers, and tells them that they're going to get out of this okay.

And in the end, they do.

All three of them make it out okay, and Alex gets to go home. It's hard to part from MC, even if she isn't their own, but something has settled in them that makes returning to a world without her not as terrible.

After all, she's out there somewhere, in other worlds, alive and happy. They'd managed to ensure it for one such world. And in their own, they'll wait as long as it takes to see her again.

(Yeah ok i had to throw in a bit of reincarnation at the end there. sue me-)