#god i love them both somuch

[time-woods]

yuri that nobody asked for and im not entirely sure theres a market for but im here to deliver anyways

[caracello]

rreplaying deadmoney and bwwggh. bwbwbb. god/dog ))+ 💜💜💜💜

[diejager]

Hello, can I request a Monster!141 with a hybrid centipede!reader? I wanted to send you a request a long time ago, but I'm a person who easily forgets ideas. You may not write about it if you are uncomfortable.

Cw: monster cod, a lot (and I mean a fuck ton) of insects, pranks, infiltration and spying used for pranks, tell me if I missed any. Note: you have enabled me to use my love of arthropods to the fullest, thank you :D

Gaz had grown used to the occasional, but many, centipedes he’d see crawling up the wall or scurry under the closest furniture. The amount of insect - he knew it wasn’t the right term, you’d remind him that not every crawling arthropods were insects, but he couldn’t, for the love of God, remember the exact word you used - he’s seen over the few months was eerie, something drastically odd for a base kept so clean and the occasional exterminator coming by to try and rid them of this infestation. Though a common sight, he simply couldn’t get comfortable with the tenseness of his back and the invisible itch on his limbs whenever he thought of a centipede. 

He assumed it was a normal reaction, Soap had felt it, and so had Horangi and Alejandro, the crawling sensation on the back of their necks or the spasm of their finger. Much unlike the others who didn’t seem bothered by it, easily brushing aside any hint that they faced a centipede infestation, unmoved when one would crawl right by their faces. Perhaps he was only paranoid or over thinking it, all his thoughts crying out how unnatural this was despite how normal they looked: a dark brown body of segments that gleamed under any light and sharp, fiery orange legs, moving in rhythm with the taping antennae. 

It was always the same exact centipede —or it seemed so, the same shape, the same size, the same intimidating appearance. He couldn’t figure out the species without catching one, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it alone in case anything went wrong and it spooked him. So, he’d forced others to help him, having a squeamish Soap and a relaxed Rudy scout the open areas of the base with a transparent cup in hand. 

And when they did find one, Gaz was quick to slap the cup over one before it could scurry off - knowing how fast one can run - watching it’s legs carry it over the top of the cup, run circled and seemingly panic. Gaz almost felt bad for it while he waited for Rudy and Soap look up the species, the quiet tapping of its antennae against the plastic cup and snapping jaws (“Forcipules,“ Rudy had corrected him with a sly smile.). He wonder-

Crkk crkk

Gaz jolted towards the sound, eyes wide at the hundreds of centipedes gathering around them. An ocean of dark mass and cluttering that made Soap shudder and him step back from the one they kept imprisoned. He was amazed at the gathering, clustered around the cup to push it up and free their missing brother.

“Steamin’ Jesus!” Soap was quick to back as far away as he could from the swarm. 

Even Gaz was a bit panicked by how many there were, an innumerable amount of insect that not even an exterminator could possibly kill. 

“You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?” Rudy laughed at something. Someone? It didn’t make sense, he wasn’t looking at Gazor Soap with those words, but the… the centipede?

He watched in horror and awe at the slowly forming shape, giants arthropods grouping up and climbing over each other until it finally took shape. You. You were the centipedes?!

“Of course, Rudy,” you chuckled smugly, eyeing both him and Soap from your spot beside Rudy, “And I’ve learned somuch.”

You learned so much… Gaz dreaded to know what you heard from any, if not all, of them.

Taglist: @craxy-person @crowbird @dead-cipher @iwannabealocalcryptid @iizx7y @mxtokko @capricorn-anon @perfectus-in-morte @sae1kie @yeoldedumbslut @bvxygriimes @distracteddragoness @konigsblog @angelcakes-22 @ramadiiiisme @ramblingsofachaoticthinker @im-making-an-effort @love-dove-noora @jinxxangel13 @daisychainsinknots @h0n3y-l3m0n05 @mul-pi @danielle143 @beau-min @makayla-666 @urfavsunkissedleo @notspiders @brokenpieces-72 @luvecarson @petwifed @randominstake @heartelysia @jggykhug09090 @haven-1307 @shironasumi @sparky--bunny @bloobewy @call-me-nyxx @sans-chara @cod-z @sweetnanah @aldis-nuts @thigh-o-saur @evolutionarry @kaoyamamegami @cassiecasluciluce @sobbingnshtting

[heartorbit]

!!! You saw my ask! I’m v glad you liked the question and since you asked for ppl to share their takes on the charas I’ll give mine:

Rui as the fox was what started it all for me. Like “great shows can’t be made alone” and the fox talking about all the wonderful things that would happen if he were to be tamed… Rui’s craving for connection just fit the fox so well.

The other three I mostly chose for like, scenes/dynamics I wanted to see with them. So Tsukasa and Emu are the little prince and the rose respectively bc of their back-and-forth of *wild statement* *exaggerated frustration* but ultimately Tsukasa does want to take care of her (thinking of him calling her “our stubborn little princess” in his Smile of a Dreamer card story). And like the prince’s arc from running away from the rose because he can’t keep up with her requests before he realizes he needs to go back to her and Tsukasa’s begrudging assistance in the main story to swearing to help Emu save the stage.

And Nene’s the aviator for largely the same reasons: her and Tsukasa’s bickering just makes me think Nene would absolutely get fed up with Tsukasa insulting her sheep and just draw him a box instead. And her role as the “normal” one in the group also lends to it (emphasis on the quotes). She calls everyone in the troupe crazy for accepting a robot while she’s the one piloting the robot. She’s grown up, let go of being childish, but she’s still listening intently to the little prince’s story.

But like your casting is so so good! The longer I think abt it the more I love it. Like little prince Emu’s asteroid hopping is so perfect; she’s meeting all these grownups who care only about sums and wealth and other pointless things and it’s all just very odd to her. And Rui drawing the boa constrictor is heartbreaking. He’s trying to convey something through his art that nobody around him can understand… And Emunene being the little prince and the fox. They’re absolutely this quote from the fox: “Other steps send me hurrying back underneath the ground. Yours will call me, like music, out of my burrow.” And the slow, deliberate process it takes to tame a fox, and how long it took to get Nene to come out of her shell while Emu constantly reached out to her; they’re adorable. And Tsukasa will cry and throw up if he isn’t special ur so right. Tysm for responding to my ask!

OOOOOOOOH MYJTJ IT'S SO CUTE I CRIED FOREVER I LOVE THESE SOMUCH THANK YOU FOR SENDING YOUR DRAWINGS I T____T emu rose is the cutest ever ever ever. i love YOUR CASTING SO MUCH. here i throw this before i go under a readmore to scream

YOURS FIT SO DAMN WELL. SO WELL

THE STUBBORN LITTLE PRINCESS LINE KILLLLLS ME IT KILLS ME YOURE SO RIGHT OAKYT AUUUUUUUWUUWU i take 800 years to respond to this both because i absolutely had to draw again for your cast and also i look at your beautiful drawings and i scream and kick my feet and grip my phone so hard it breaks into a million pieces

i;m so normal Your drawings are so lovely they feel right from a storybook ooouh nene as the aviator is really getting me. with how nene had to look back at her child self to rediscover what was so important to her passion for singing and it fits so well. waugh. """normal""" one for sure. but her loyalty is really fitting of both the aviator and the fox.. her and rui really are alike in the most dastardly heart crushing ways

rui as the fox. AH. I SHALL CRY. brother does he ever run the risk of weeping.. and just the abject boredom of the fox in its loneliness fits rui really well. after their fight in the main story how they approach rui more and more.. but you will sit a little closer to me every day..

your emu rose is so cute i can't get over it but i love this casting so much. i love how you connected the princes responsibility to the rose with the main story and their promise to save the wonderstage. Oh my god their stubborn little princess. THEIR STUBBORN LITTLE PRINCESS

i acknowledged that i just have emu favoritism severely when i gave them a casting but when i thought of her as the prince beyond whimsy i was thinking a lot of the ending, how the prince doesn't want the aviator to see him look to be in suffering and when says he can't return home and his body is too heavy.. the wonderstage being emus home where she wants everyone to always smile but also the place she's convinced she can't leave .. something something im not good at this. but with tsukasa i think that works equally as well because of how he shunned and ran away from it at first but at the end the wonderstage is where his heart really was and how he lets go of his old self. auuugh.

and for tsukasa as the rose and how emu finds his shows so dazzling even though he sees himself as one of hundreds of thousands of actors that he's not yet on the level of. but to emu he IS one of a kind. also because it is for her that i have killed the caterpillars (except she grabbed a caterpillar and shoved it into his face that one time but) sniffle. SNIFFLE. because it is she that i have listened to when she grumbled or boasted...

ok your little prince tsukasa is starting to kill me i AHGBHH you're singlehandedly making me want and need to reread the little prince again but ooh my god. my star will be just be one of the stars for you and so you will love to watch all the stars in the heavens (falls over) i shall look as if i were suffering i shall look a little as if i were dying do not come to see that (FALLS OVER)

[geffenrecords]

I see your posts about tim and dally and i think they're hilarious so I was wondering if you had any hcs for them?? they're so underrated it's criminal bc I'm honest to God obsessed w them 😭

whoevr the ffuck asked this thank you somuch I LOVE TIM AND DALLAS.....ARGHHH theyre so fucking interesting to me forever....okay in the book its stated that dallas and tim were always kind of buddies . pb specifically notes that even though dallas got angry and slashed tim's tires for no real reason and then tim retaliated by breaking his ribs that they were still friends. tim goes to see dallas in the hospital, which dallas claims he only does to rub the rumble in his face but i (choose to) believe it was like...more .

tim isnt really a character in the books very much tbh . he has 1 single appearance in the outsders and one in that was then this is now. most of what we hear about him is word of mouth, but when he is onscreen hes described as very cold and scary. ponyboy notes that tim reminds him of an alley cat, and tim praises pony and johnny for killing bob. he kind of just stalks around and talks to everyone a little bit and thats the most we see (besides him breaking his nose again LMAO). pony mentions him A LOT in this book. something thats kind of a '''fandom'''' thing that pisses me off is how people say that darry & soda wouldnt like pony hanging out with curly because he's a ''bad influence'' but this just..isnt true ? pony is always mentioning both the shepards and even says he actually is friends with curly and likes him. the cigarette burning in the hands incident (i think its so cute and funny that tim stopped them. like curly robbing a liquor store is something hes lowkey proud of but curly and pony burning holes in each others hands pisses him off?) and even mentions when he was with curly one time and how he broke something while jumping off a pole. its also noted that despite all the differences between the shepards and the curtis', theyll always help each other and they truly do have each others back. no one makes any comments about how they distrust tim or anythign. in That was then This is Now, tim also shows up once but is mentioned a lot. curly and angela have the most screen time obviously in this book, but i do LOVEE tim's appearance in this book. after mark shaves angelas head, he and curly go and beat up bryon and tim is described as a very frightening person. bryon says that curly is mostly just kind of dumb and violent but tim is genuinely a mean person, noting that curly threatens a lot of people but tim really does mean everything he says and that whatever he says he'll do to someone, he really will. i think this is great! but yeah. twttin also says that the shepards live with their mother and stepdad but i kind of like. ignore this. i think their dynamic is so much more interesting if they live by themselves. i think tim is particularly fascinating BECAUSE of angela and curly. like even tho tim is a terrrible violent person he still raises and takes care of his younger siblings. adds so much more..i think..

but as for him and dally....fuckkkkk dude. the way i view them is that tim is like, genuinely very in love with dallas. like he knows it everyone knows it. usually when i do stuff with them dallas is affectionate towards him in a mostly joking manner, but doesn't really seem aware of tims feelings. obviously i dont think tim or dallas ever really like..talk about their feelings but they have subtle ways of letting each other know. i think theyre most interesting when they hate and love each other. they get in a fistfight and curse each other out b4 going behind bucks and making out for a couple hours . that sort of thing. ponyboys words about them are that theyre "two of a kind" which is CRAZZZYYYYY . like i dont even know where to begin with that one . so anyways . to me, dallas is some little weird nyc freak whos had various on/off relationships, like with sylvia. they kind of cheat on each other and mostly just argue so thats how he views his relationship with tim, and he doesnt really stay with him. however tim does. tim doesnt really have any romantic experiences or anything ( i know that the outsiders says he got the scar on his face from 'a tramp hitting him with a bottle" and that this is most likely implied to say he was trying to get sex from her but i think of it as he got into an argument with some random prostitute. which is honestly kind of funnier. whys he beefing with this poor lady) so to him, dallas is very real and sort of his only thing he has going for him. he takes everything dallas does to and with him VERY personally. if dallas shows up at HIS doorstep after a fight instead of the curtis', tim basically takes this as dallas' version of saying he loves him, even if dallas only did it because his house was closer or whatever. however dallas also will tell him about things going on with sylvia and this pisses tim off so theylll beat each other up about it. and have like car sex after idk. since dallas grew up in the nyc streets and was LITERALLY JAILED AT 10(?) i think of him similar to neil mccormick from mysterious skin . most likely abused at a young age, has sex with a lot of random people to cope with it, "young and willing", that sort of thing. so to him, tim is his buddy hes close with in a really weird way, who cares if they have sex. except tim like really falls in love and dallas is kind of like oh . okay word. i dont know if dallas being in love with tim would really be like...realistic but hopefully it is . hehe. the worst people youve ever met are madly in love with each other...dallas cracks a bottle over tims head when he gets pissed off but they cuddle all night (after almost killing each other fighting it out). itd be like the first time either of them have ever like..experienced a relationship so theyre total weirdos but so sweet in a way ? tim would give dallas stitches after a fight and lay with him all night to make sure he doesnt have a concussion . dallas helps tim get home drunk even when tim tries to shove him away . that sort of thing. i also think curly interacting with dallas is SUCH a funny ass concept and i wish people did stuff with it more. im aware the shepards are boderline my ocs atp but i dont even care . dallas walks in and is like ummm wheres tim and curlys like why 🤨wtf do u want...and dallas just gets So angry. hes literally like beefing with this 14 year old for no fucking reason . dallas would lock curly in the bathroom and forget hes in there when pissed off enough but angela would bully dallas . and he cant really do anything actually harmful to them bc tim would beat his ass so hes just So pissed off.

idk . big fan of whatever se hinton mildly laid down in that book lol.

[abandonedsdjfhcvndfbv]

I just know when im gonna get to the fucking part in siriconc with ym noelashe bot the horrors part the horrors the horrors part i'm just gonna fucking drop dead im litearlly gonna be sobbinf putting in the quotes also perce the reaosn i like noelashe is probably because they're so full of kindness for eachother that they have to reign in. Even reigning it in they literally cannot help being kind to eachother and caring about eachother even in the darkest of moments the only way they can hate eachother is when they both don't recognize eachother (Noel's route) which is why this scene is also so fascinating to me, it's literally the only time they hate eachother it's so fascinating every other time they either don't know eachother or when getting to know eachother are immediately their classic dynamic of, ashe strangely attached to noel's naivety, which in turn makes noel more attached to ashe. they constantly catch eachothers attention when they're given that chance. They're also both completely unavaliable to eachother, icould only mutter this yesterday but it definitely adds to it, the less is more effect, how their meeting really is fate, how it's short , it's like a flash and then it's gone, always, they're always like that a bright flash and then it's gone... they're both such kind and caring people that were fucked over by the system that generates people who are allowed to be cruel because of their status, or, who have been broken so thoroughly they can't do anything but be cruel, and they've both been warped by it, they both understand eachother, they're both more like eachother than anyone else and that's why they're so attached to eachother and noel realizes this in siriconc but it's still so fascinating when they don't...The time loop really really enrichens them as well. The countless outcomes they have, the countless kindnesses and vulnerability and unguardedness that show through the cracks... Oh my god guys i remembered the manlybadasshero I think there's some attraction between noel and ashe at least one sidedly from ashe It's so OBVIOSU ALSO GOD THE WAY TEY'RE BOTH CATALYSTS FOR EACHOTHER AND THE WAY THEY BOTH PARALLEL EAHCOHTER IN SO MANY DIFFRENT LAYERS AND THE NARRATIVE FOILS GUYS THERE'S LITERALLY SO SO FUCKING MUCH. THERE'S SOMUCH LOVE PUT INTO NOELASHE AS WELL, THEIR DYNAMIC. IT'S SO SPECIAL.

[euclydya]

CHaRaCTR BINGO 4 FIRST 3 CHaRaCTRS 2 POP IN UR HEaD (OR MORE OR LESS. UP 2 U) l l3>

HAIIII HI HI BESTIE HAI :3c

ok first is Pain Threshold:

again trying to keep to My thouhts on canon characters not oue sysmates but soemtimes. the System Bias™ is difficult to . ignore FHDJSKDKFFJ ESPECIALLY W PT! FJDJSKFJF

so like. I! Love Her. So Much. I care abt her somuch she's so niceys here and we'd be in hell without her around but also. I would run up behind her and slap her in the baxk of the head and run away I would beat the shit out of her I would kill her if givent je chance I would activate PvP SOOOO HARDDDD ON HER. but that's bc we're in the same group [Physique] so it's liek sibling violence hereGJDKDKFKGJG

CANON PT THOUGH IS SOOOOOOOO. SCREAMS!!!!!!! VIBRATES!!! GIRL THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOUUUUU. <3. LIKE WHAT THE FUCK FOR EXAMPLE:

[also ft. composure whom is also not normal btw! 👍]

She's just sooooo. Idk. I care abt her both source & in-sys. she's Importance. I'm normal. I would not hesitate to kill her and she would not hesitate to kill me WE'RE BESTIES <3 FHDJSJFKFKFFK

SECOND UP IS CONCEPTUALIZATION:

ok so source Concept like. I do not enjoy him much. Like. Like. Xe gives off Pretentious Artist Vibes. aHfjFjdjdjsjwjd which I guess tracks!!!!! from its in-game description: "Conceptualization has a special role it wants you to play in this world – not the role of cop, but of Art Cop." THAT'S SO SILLY!!!!! ZE'S silley. Like I cannot take their ass seriously I'm sorryFJCKSKFKFJD

But besides that she's not A Major Asshole just. Ju.gh.ead levels of Weird Pretentiousness source-wise! BFNXNXCNGJ

system-wise tho it's like. Well I *have* to respect you or you'll erase me! [HYPERBOLE] FJJDFKDKDKF

also has one of our fave lines in the game:

like what fhe fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!! one of the dialogues ever tjanks!!

in conclusion I'm rotating hym in my brain thankyou 4 coming 2 my ted talk

AND FINALLY!!!! HALF LIGHT!!!:

IM NORMAL ABOUT THIS KID [LIE] POINTS!!!!!!!!!!!! HTAT'S MY ADDOPTED SIBLING WAOW!!!!!!

ok sO!!!! this fuckigm. THING. this goddamn CREATURE of a skill. ok. ok! ok!!!!!!!!!! sys bias is Extremely hard 2 ignore w it! because we saw it and were immediately like THAT THANG IS A WHOLEASS KID and thhe fandom barely agrees???!!!!!! UNDERSTANDABLE PEOPLE CAN HAVE DIFFERENT INTERPRETATIONS BUTEVERYONE IS WRONG ABY THIS ONE THIS TIME SORRY! [JOKE!!!!! DO NOT KILL ME] so that's my unpopular opinion there!

ok where do i Start. uhhhh. this kid. thIS KID!!!!!! OH MY GOD the embodiment of fight or flight and trauma responses. ok. OK!!!!! SOMEONE GIVE THIS LIL GUY LOVE AND ATTENTION STAT WHAT THE FUCK! EHAT THE FUCK DUDE!!! it's incredibly violent and SCARED and waht the fuck who hurt youuu!!!!!!!!! oh my god dude!!!!!!

has done nothing wrong ever. "It actively encourages Harry to kill" ok and! maybe it's right. <3. have u ever thought of That. like. Half Light is Harry's inner child and Half Light most certainly deserves a gun!!!!!! LET THAT KID KILL thank u HFJFKDSKDKDJCJCJD

As much as I love and care for this bastard however I would not like to meet canon half light irl. Because. It would take one look at me and very very much attempt to actually kill me. and I would not like to die anytime soon! JFKCKCCKFKFKFK

and ik I crossed off "I like the fanon better for this one" but when we say that Assume we mean "I like whatever version of them exists in our system better than rhe canon version" it is especially true for half light LMAO

SO! i support children's rights AND wrongs [read: Half Light should be allowed to kill WHENEVER it wants. for whatever reason.] However I am not exempt from the Cain Instinct I'd absolutely defenestrate it if given the chance JFNDMDNFNFFNSJRJ

-Electrochem

[viovio]

claudette tome is like properly accommodating and loving your autistic child and supporting their interests while actively defending them from decisions that'd force them into a system that suppresses them makes for a healthy child surprise surprise

[ohsayaka]

mantis could u perhaps… drop ur gender and sexuality hcs for the danganronpa girls? i love ur thoughts so much

This is such an old ask i think i made a whole Google document to answer this months ago but i cant find it so here we go. i think ill only post the thh ones

THH

sayaka: i dont even know at this point. she can be anything. i think she loves women. sapphic. lesbian or bi both such good headcanons for her i love it. i love seeing lesbian sayaka art. Also transgender. trans girl.. demigirl..... Some cool idol themed xenogender..you name it. she/star/etc etc you can get soo creative w this.. she would use some cutesy pronouns i think.. :-)

chihiro: trans bi girl she/her and also fun computer pronouns as you can imagine. web/glitch.. oh shes bunnygirl also. that's her gender too..

sakura: bi !!!!! femme too. she/her maybe some flower kind of pronouns too. she is also kind of a bunnygirl to me. i know this. in my heart..

aoi: ohh shes my whole world . Butch lesbian she/sun/they also nonbinary perhaps sungender her love is so radiant sun has the coolest pronouns i promise you

junko: he/him lesbian maybe he/she. his gender is so fucked up. just insane. Some of my friends hc junko as bi i think thats fuckig awesome too

toko: nonbinary lesbian :+) she/they.. lover of women..

syo: oh my god iv.e thought somuch about syo gender in the past.. i think hes transmasc lesbian in ways i could never fully communicate. he/ze/it/xe/ i dont even know. genders incomprehensible to us

celestia: i actually dont know. ive seen lesbian celestia trans celestia cishet celestia transhet celestia bi celestia aroace celestia ijve seen it all. i personally have no idea.

kyoko: Sooo bi!!!! xe/xem maybe they/them too? Nonbinary for sure..agender..agender transfem Kyoko.. i have friends who hc xem as aro too i think thats neat ^_^

mukuro: my goodness . Dont get me started.. he/they probably. transmasc. butch. bisexual. mukuro can be anything. i love their gender forever. i used to hc mukuro as lesbian (awesome by the way) but i think i see them as bi now.

[riversofmars]

Before we launch into the final part, I just want to say a massive thank you to all of you! Thank your for joining me on this journey, it's been a wild ride and I'm so glad it all came together. 

2020 has been a tough year for all of us in many different ways but there are also things to be grateful for and remember at Christmas time. For me, getting back into writing and fandom has been the greatest blessing of 2020, it's given me so much joy during a very bleak time. So thank you to everyone that's read my stories and particularly to those that always comment and are here for a chat. In a time where social contacts are so limited, being able to connect and talk about your interests is very special. I really hope that I could give back some of that joy with this story.

I wish you all a very merry Christmas, I hope you have a wonderful time and that all your Christmas wishes and hopes for 2021 come true! This really has been an absolute pleasure. I'll miss doing this daily!

Lots of love! Jana

December 1st  December 2nd  December 3rd  December 4th  December 5th  December 6th  December 7th  December 8th  December 9th  December 10th  December 11th  December 12th  December 13th  December 14th  December 15th  December 16th  December 17th  December 18th  December 19th  December 20th  December 21st  December 22nd  December 23rd  Christmas Eve  Christmas Day

“River, hold up a second…“ Sandshoes caught up with her as they all made their way down main street. As predicted shoppers were returning to the streets bringing a sense of excitement and warm smiles. The fairy lights shone brightly as it had turned dark and snow had started falling more heavily now muffling their footsteps.

“Are you okay? You look a bit…“ River sensed that there was a seriousness about him and she stopped for a moment so they could fall back a bit for some privacy.

“Still trying to take it all in, it was a lot… probably best I won’t remember any of this.“ He chuckled as they started walking again.

“I’m sorry…“ She said automatically but he waved it off.

“Never mind, what’s life without surprises.“

“No, I mean… I’m sorry for everything that’s about to come. I didn’t know you had to live with this knowledge the whole time, that I… when you first met me…“ She couldn’t really find the right words so she broke off.

“You’re worth all the pain. I can see that.“ He looked to the other Doctors who were walking ahead, chatting, joking. “They come to love you somuch.“

“Yeah, you will.“ She looped her arm around his.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t be the person you needed me to be that day, I should have…“ He didn’t look at her, he didn’t want to see that hurt in her eyes again.

“Oh Doctor.“ She stopped walking and held him back as well. “You have always been and will always be the person I need you to be.“ She cupped his cheek and forced him to look at her. “I have been all over your timeline, I have met every version of you, had mad adventures and now, hopefully, I get to spend the rest of time with you in a more linear fashion. And never, have you hurt, disappointed or let me down. And never have I not loved you.“

He took her hand off his cheek and pressed it to his lips. Yes, he would forget about this but she had told him everything he needed to hear.

“I think I’m starting to fall in love with you, River Song.“ He sighed with a little smile and she grinned.

“You better be.“ She leaned forward and gave him a soft kiss.

“Oi, you two, we all get equal time with the Mrs, no sneaking off!“ Bowtie called from up ahead and River giggled.

“Come along Doctor, we will be late for Christmas dinner.“

They found a restaurant big enough to accommodate for one very large table. They required three large turkeys and countless sides, it was a feast. They popped Christmas crackers, wore colourful hats and shared their stories. Even when they were all too full to move, Bowtie ordered another round of Christmas pudding with extra custard.

The Doctor looked around the table feeling her hearts swell. So much love around this table. So much joy. It blew away all the grief, the sorrow, the loss. It was as if time stood still and not for their crossing timelines but for the joy of the moment. In this moment, everything was perfect.

Donna was questioning Amy and Rory trying to figure out how exactly they were the Doctor’s in-laws.

Clara recounted tales of her travels with Eyebrows to Bill who listened with baited breath, as she always did when a pretty girl was talking.

River was negotiating life aboard the TARDIS with the Fam, setting down ground rules for her future life travelling with them, rejoicing at her new lease on life.

The Doctor looked to her former selves who still eyed her with mild amusement but it wasn’t unkind, it was admiring.

“So you did it, you brought her back.“ Bowtie smiled, saying what they were all thinking.

“We brought her back.“ The Doctor corrected him taking a sip of something very sweet and fizzy.

“It really has been a long time coming, hasn’t it.“ Eyebrows smiled.

“Home for Christmas.“ Sandshoes agreed, raising his glass in a congratulatory fashion.  

“How are you holding up, Doctor?“ Eyebrows asking, sensing a persistent thoughtfulness about her.

“Better now.“ She admitted with a small smile. “It’s not easy, it’s never been easy, so much of…“ She looked around the table and then back to them. “You all have so much ahead of you still but… you’ll get here, I know that because I have.“

“Well, I for one have the greatest confidence that we will be just fine.“ Bowtie announced.

“What are you lot chatting about.“ River stuck her nose in.

“You.“ The Doctor was quick to retort. “They’re all jealous that I get to take you home tonight.“

“Doctor, I hope you’ll be treating my daughter with respect and not…“ Rory piped up.

“I’m fairly certain the Doctor is in a lot more trouble here than the Professor is.“ Clara interjected with great amusement, getting rather tipsy on mulled wine.

“Oh, she certainly is.“ River smirked.

“I mean, it’s quite the change, isn’t it.“ Donna commented gesturing from Eyebrows to the Doctor.

“What they’re meaning to say is, do you swing both ways because I, for one, wouldn’t mind…“ Bill interrupted.

“Ah well, it seems going forward it’ll be the monogamous lifestyle for me.“ River sighed feigning disappointment. “No more back to front timelines, no more excuses.“

“Helps when that one person has like 14 versions.“ Clara giggled.

“We can’t chose who we fall in love with.“ River pointed out.

“Right, that’s enough.“ Rory put his foot down, he’d heard enough.

“A toast.“ Amy called, coming to her husband’s aid.

“What?“ The Doctor nearly chocked on her drink when Amy threw a biscuit at her across the table to make clear she meant her.

“C’mon, Doc, it’s not like we will be all sitting together like this again any time soon, say a few words!“ Graham encouraged her.

“Come on then.“ Eyebrows filled her drink up for her and Bowtie pulled her to her feet.

“Oh ahhh…“ The Doctor looked around confused not sure what to say, she took a deep breath gathering her thoughts but felt a little better for seeing the warmth and smiles on everyone’s faces as they looked up to her. “Remember you can’t tell them anything about this, they won’t remember but you will.“ She opened with the first thing that came her mind. She looked to the companions who all nodded. “And I’m sorry about that… I’m sorry you have to carry on for so much longer without knowing how things will turn out.“ She looked to River and gave her a little smile, and then to her former selves who also nodded. She retuned her attention to the companions: “Just look after them in the meantime…“

“You know we will, we have.“ Clara said softly, speaking for all of them.

“God, I miss you all.“ The Doctor averted her eyes, looking down at her plate as tears threatened to well up in her eyes. A lump formed in her throat, she couldn’t carry on, she was overcome with emotion.

“All the more important we enjoy our time together.“ Sandshoes stood placing his hand on the Doctor’s shoulder.

“Yes, because this has been the best time, another wonderful story.“ Bowtie stood as well, raising his glass.

“I think this may have been the best one yet.“ Eyebrows stood as well and gave his future self a reassuring smile. “It really was quite something.“

“Merry Christmas, Doctor.“ Amy grinned and jumped to her feet, pulling Rory with her and within seconds everyone was on their feet toasting each other.

“Merry Christmas.“ The Doctor found River’s eyes across the table who gave her the softest most loving smile.

“This really is the happiest season of all.“

[brieannakeogh]

Dog Days of Summer- Ch 16 Epilogue

Dog Days of Summer- Chris Evans X plus sized reader. Dog days of summer are usually defined as the hottest of the year, some define it as lazy days. This year ‘hottest’ has nothing to do with the outside temp. You meet Chris and Dodger Evans while taking your own dog to the park.

Previous Chapter / Master List

Chapter 16 Epilogue

A loud metal sound from the knock at the door woke you up. It had only been a nap so the sunlight still came in the window beside the bed. Grunting irritably you reach beside you to push Chris awake, only to find nothing in the bed. Another loud knock came back. “Hold your horses, I’ll be there in a minute!” You groan and find yourself a little dizzy since you sat up too quick. Slipping off the bed you waddle the short few feet to the door of the trailer. The set assistant looks embarrassed to have woken you up. 

“I’m sorry. I just needed to drop off the new script papers for Chris. I didn’t know he wasn’t here.” 

You glance at the clock and it does seem a bit later than he should be back. “He’s probably still doing set work. Sometimes it takes longer.” You shrug and take the papers. “I’ll pass it on when he gets back.” Closing the door, you walk slowly directly across from the door to the couch, sitting yourself and the paperwork down on it. Leaning back, eyes closed while your head is cushioned from back springs. You were still tired, but it wasn’t unusual anymore. It had been over a year since the two of you started dating, and only a few months shy from when you found out how much you loved each other. It brought a smile to your face thinking about the after effects. 

What the two of you had talked about was all supposed to be reasonable. He was going to go back to the set and you were going to keep up at the new job, which of course lasted less than a month. At the time you were extremely worried about how he would react when you asked if you could join him at his last movie set. The “Thank God!” he replied to you, still makes you chuckle. 

Everything the two of you had talked about never came slowly, like you had discussed. It was all quick and spontaneous, exactly like how your relationship started. The move in was hectic. Originally you assumed you would keep the apartment while you were living on the set with him, just in case it didn’t work out, but Chris got movers to get all of your things to his Boston condo within days. All you had to take to his set was clothing. 

The second surprising timing was during his second movie since you had been dating. You had gone with him to stay on set, making friends with some of his co-actors and people who worked behind the scenes. They had hangouts after work, going drinking at the bar near the set. It was always fun, but Chris would drink quicker than you and go to his loud, happy personality most nights, including the one where his stunt double picked on him about how you were living together already. 

“Of course we are!” Chris shouted, throwing an arm around your waist. “It’s not like we aren’t getting married next year.” 

“What?” You choked on the sip you had in your mouth. 

“Yeah…?” His face went from wondering what was wrong with you, to eyes wide in surprise. “Oh! I forgot I hadn’t asked you yet! I was waiting to buy a good ring. Maybe tomorrow we can go get one? I wasn’t 100% sure what you would prefer, so this would be much better, right?” 

“Yeah, perfect idea.” Drinking the rest of glass down to keep your nerves in check. He stuck with it the next morning, which really made you know about his tolerance to alcohol. 

Of course since he surprises you with the proposal, you knew you had to surprise him with the other bit of info before the wedding. You had stuck it in a box, wrapped it with some holiday paper and a bow, even though it wasn’t near the holiday, and set it in his seat at home. He was looking for the third movie and had gone out to his interview with the director, giving you plenty of time to set him up. He knew you were up to something as he unwrapped his ‘present’ but went super excited when he saw what was inside. At least until he dropped the tester and went to wash his hands. “Next time don’t give me the thing you pee onto! Maybe just a doctor’s test showing it.” he shouted from the kitchen sink. 

You giggled holding your pregnancy bump on the couch remembering his expression. Now you just needed to figure out what you were going to do a few years from now when it happens again. It was about this time the door opens and Chris walks in the trailer. “What are you laughing about?” He asks smiling at you. 

“Just thinking about what I should do the next time this happens.” You pat your bump which makes the baby kick in the same spot. It wasn’t much longer and knew he or she would come out to surprise both of you before the movie was done. 

“Well just make sure we have number two after the wedding. I still can’t figure out why you wanted to wait on that.” He sits beside you, moving the paperwork to the side table. 

“It’s simple. I want to be in a sexy corset during the wedding, not a pregnancy dress. Plus if we do it in a couple of years we’ll have a walking baby to bring the rings instead of Dodger.” 

“I still think Dodger is the best prospect.” 

“Fine we’ll do both and we know Popcorn will just be bored in a seat.” 

“Both it is Mrs. Evans.” 

“Now Mr. Evans, you should remember I’ll keep my own name.” 

“Hmf, we’ll see what you do after the wedding.” He whispers close to your own lips, before taking them in to repeat every kiss you can’t get enough of. Who knows what the future holds? 

It’s the end! Hopefully you all enjoyed this. I just had this feeling that if Chris decided to do something time is NOT going to be involved lol. I’ve still got bunch of partially written things that I hadn’t even posted, we’ll see how I do on those. Have a great weekend and an awesome Holiday next month!

@spidey-babe-parker​,  @stevieang​, @albinotigerpython​, @paintballkid711​, @katykyll​, @avengersrulez1536​, @ultrafreespirit​, @wantingtobekorra​,   @i-had-a-life-once​,  @ghostssss​​, @babybeluuga​​, @bodhi-black​​,  @kanupps06​​, @hatterripper31​, @grandloser​, @reniescarlett​, @kjidhzyx​, @normanreedus5150​, @ilovethings-somuch​, @spiderman-2013​, @bloodyvalentine93​, @xx-raven​, @passionghost​, @prettybubblesintheair​, @averyrogers83​,  @ria132love​, @patzammit​, @whom-the-fack​, @pooslie​, @3dsaunt, @kristiedwyer, @janeyboo​, @theonelittleone​, @aslandia726​, @itsmysticalmystery​, @stanclub, @geminimoonbeamx​​, @lookwhatyoumademequeue​, @eyesfixedonthesun22​, @mrsalh32611​, @whatmakesmebeme-tblr​, @isaxhorror​, @kateelyse96​, @hidden-treasures21​, @aubreystilinski, @tnupsweetpie​, @mikaelasingswritesloves​, @webcraft4eveh​, @fanfictionandjunk, @elizabeth-marie-moon​, @linesal​, @cjmyerhaan​, @cevansgirl​, @collinsstanharbour​, @i-was-petmanger, @bononoh, @justlistenlovelife​

[averyrogers83]

We’re Getting Married

Title: We’re Getting Married Author: Darlin’ and Vixen Warnings: Smut, fluff, more smut Rating: NSFW 18+ NO MINORS ALLOWED Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader Summary: You and Steve have been together for a couple years now, you both share the same birthday, but have not been in the same place to celebrate it together till now. Part 2/2. Square(s) Filled: Prostate Milking for Marvel Bingo by @shield-agent78 Cuddling by @shield-agent78 for Star Spangled Bingo / Watching the Sunset by @averyrogers83 for Star Spangled Bingo Words: 1679 A/N: Another collaborative fic from the smut duo of Darlin’ and Vixen to celebrate the one and only Steven Grant Rogers “Captain America” and his birthday.  

You were completely spent from the activities your activities that you had a bit of a time walking back to the patio to meet up with your friends.  Luckily Steve was there to keep you upright.  The two of you laughing and whispering as you got back to the pool just in time for Tony and Rhode to call the dinner bell.  

“Thank god, I’m starving.” you exclaimed giving Steve a quick peck on the cheek before heading for the food, leaving him behind laughing at you. 

“So punk, did you do it?” inquired Bucky.  He knew what Steve was up to, he had planned it for months now, enlisting the help of Nat and Wanda to find out what kind of ring to get and the right size, while he and Bucky went into the city to find the perfect ring.  

“Yea…” He watched you as you stealthy moved through the line, cutting in front of Sam, leaving him whining behind you. 

“And…..” Bucky impatiently waited for a response.

“And, yes...she said yes, We’re getting married.” Nat and Wanda squilled joyfully. 

“Let’s see the ring, Capsicle” Tony joked with a grin. 

“Ring ya, I haven’t given it to her yet. She hasn’t opened the box yet...we got kind of sidetracked.” Steve admitted. Bucky snickered at his friend. 

“Ya, right and you got in a fight with a tiger,” motioning to Steve’s back. 

“Um, yeah, she was a ferocious one at that..” you laughed coming up from behind.  “You really need to do something about that, old man.” giving Steve a playful tease. 

“Watch it kitten.” Steve sassed. “Remember I still have a diamond collar for you.”

"Oh, kinky.." you stuck your tongue out at him. 

"Hey, come on, there's kids present!" Tony motioned towards Sam. 

"Hey! I am a grown ass man, with childlike tendencies." Sam quipped back. 

“Yes,” you Wanda and Natasha answered almost simatainualy.  Sam fished in his pocket revealing a small back box and tossed it to Steve as he put down his plate. 

“Ooo, give me,” you smiled reaching for the box. Steve pulled it out of your reach. 

"Not so fast, you are going to have to wait now after that old man comment." 

“Stevie.." you whined. 

"The price you pay, I warned you about that, thought proved that earlier." 

"Yes you did." You bit you bottom lip coyly. 

"Eww, we don't need to go any further." The group groaned.  

You gave him and pout and quiently ate your food as Wanda and Natasha peppered you with questions about your dream wedding. You answered them the best you could looking over to Steve for support as he talked with the guys. All you really wanted was something small maybe on a beach surrounded by your family or friends. Hell, you didn’t care if Steve and you eloped as long as you were both together. After what felt like ten rounds of questions you quietly excused yourself and made your way toward the dock overlooking the lake. The warm summer breeze whipping through your hair. You stood overlooking the glistening water as you fidgeted with the ties of your suit. 

“Hey, what’s wrong?”Steve asked as he placed his arms around you waist letting out a little sigh.

“Sorry, just had to step away for a bit. I think Nat and Wanda are overly excited about a big wedding and...and I don't need all that. I just want it to be intimate and low key. Unless that's what you want" she looked at him questionly. 

“Sweetheart, whatever you want is fine.” You look up over your shoulder at this wonderful man and give him a small smile. “Better?” You nod your head yes. “Good, let’s get back. I still have your present to give you only if you don’t call me old again.”

“Yes, Cap.” you smile, "You know I only say that to get you riled up." Wiggling your eyebrow at him as the two of you walk back to the patio hand in hand.  

When you arrived back at the pool area the two of you enjoyed time with your friends, eating, drinking, and laughing.  As the sun began to set Steve took you down by the lake to finally give you your present. 

The warm wind blew rushing the tree leaves as you two sat on the bench overlooking the last of the sun’s rays danced across the lake. You watched in silence for a moment until Steve shifted in his seat, “So, I have something for you, I just hope you like it.” He pulled out the little black box for earlier and held it in the palm of his hand. You gazed down upon it as he flipped the top open. In side was the most beautiful ring you had ever seen. The platlam ring consisted of a round center diamond surrounded by a circle of blue sapphires and an outer ring of red rubies. It resembled his shield! You loved it immediately.  Your beamed as you stared wide eyed at the ring in disbelief. “Do you like it?” He asked nervously. 

“Steve it’s beautiful! I love it. Can I wear it now?!. .” Steve pretended to give you a gruff look stopping you in your tracks, “ugh please?”  Steve slips it onto your ring finger and leans over kissing you gently on the lips, then wrapped his arm around you as the two of you watched the sunset in the horizon.  You laid your head on his shoulder as you cuddled next to one another and watched the day disappear into night as Tony’s fireworks show began to fill the night sky. 

“Let’s go baby, I have one more thing to show you.”you took him by the hand and made your way back to your room. 

“Oh, what’s that?” Steve inquired. 

“The second part of your birthday present.” you cooed. You entered your shared room and made Steve sit down on the bed. “Don’t move Cap,” you teased placing a finger onto his lips. He nipped at it making you smile. “I’ll be right back.” 

You slipped into the slinky lingerie number you picked out especially for this today. The top was cropped and did very little to cover anything, but that was the point. The red, white, and blue fabric hugged the curve of your breasts nicely, a solitary button holding it together between your cleavage. A strip of loose fabric draped along the top of your ribs adding a nice, delicate touch to the ensemble. You then finished the look with white silk thigh high stockings that you attached to the matching garter belt.  You looked yourself over one more time before opening the door and entered the room. 

Steve’s eyes widened as soon as he saw you step out of the bathroom. He drank you in like a slow whiskey. “Come here,” he commanded his voice dropping an octave. Your teeth grazed your bottom lip as you walk over to him. You stand in front of him ding for him to touch you. He slowly runs his large hands up your clothed legs stopping at your behind as he gives it a little swat causing you to jump forward. Steve gives you a teasing smirk. “Just a little punishment for the old man comment from earlier.”  

You giggle in response,”Yes, Captain. Do you like your gift?”

“Like is not the word for it Sweetheat, you look sexy as hell.” He begins to run his large hands up and over your breasts causing you to moan. “Do you like that baby? Answer your Captain.”

“Mmm, yes sir.” you can already feel your panties getting wet as he continues to caress one breast and then the other, gently pinching your nipples as you moan out in pleasure.  His free hand lightly running up your stockinged leg stopping at your ass giving it a squeeze. He unhooks your garter belt from the left leg and runs his large hands down them as he rolls down your stocking. His fingertips dance along your legs giving you chills. Steve repeats his action for the right leg. He runs his hands back up your legs again causing you to moan out, “St.teve.”

“Tell me what you want baby girl? What you need.”

“Y. .you, Cap I need you.” You wrap your arms around his neck as he pulls you down onto his lap. His erection pressing hard against your waist.  You quickly remove the trunks he was still wearing from earlier to free his hardening member. You couldn’t wait any longer, you needed his thick throbbing cock buried deep inside you.  You take your hands and rub the length of his shaft as you give his balls a little squeeze. He moans out your name causing you to smirk. You kiss him deeply running your hand over his shaft again the pad of your thumb runs over the tip spreading the pre-cum as you stroke his cock. 

“Fuck baby I got to get in you now or I’m not going to last,” he grunts. You give him a coy smile. 

“Yes, sir.” You aline him with your entrance as you sink down onto his large member. Your head falls back in ecstasy as you rock your hips against his. Steve sucks and nips at the sweet spot on your neck. You feel your walls clap down around him as pleasure begins to build up in your belly. “Steve. . please don’t stop.” You arms wrap around his neck as your head drops on his shoulder, your movements quicken as you could feel yourself erupt as you hit your orgasm,  

Steve comes spilling his hot seed into you with grunts and curses falling from his lips. Your bodies still as the two of you try to bring your frenzied breathing back to normal. He pulls out leaving you feeling empty. “I love you Mrs. Rogers, Happy Birthday.” He mumbles placing a kiss on top of your head. 

You sigh happily and content “I love you too, Mr. Rogers.” 

@shield-agent78 @patzammit @ellaprime68 @caramell0w @bucky-plums-barnes @buckybarnes-xyou  @ilovethings-somuch @buckysforeverprincess@hotoffthepressfics @buckysforeverprincess @bloodiedskirtts @mychemicalimagines @chuuulip @the-canary @caramell0w @dj-lowkey @littlemarvelfics @thatfanficstuff @suz-123 @captain-rogers-beard @tilltheendwilliwrite @until-theend-oftheline 

[shallowseeker]

Cas vs NIHILISM, part 2:

(Cas and Sam)

///

CUT TO: Ground floor of the cabin. SAM sits down near CASTIEL.

CASTIEL You seem troubled. Of course, that's a primary aspect of your personality, so I sometimes ignore it.

SAM Okay. Um... right now I'm just wondering about you.

CASTIEL What about me? You're worried about the burden I lifted from you.

SAM I think I was done for. Do you see Lucifer?

CASTIEL I did at first. But that was... It was a projection of yours, I think, sort of an aftertaste. Now I more see... well, everything.

This IS a Chuck parallel. It's a God parallel. There's a school of thought that the Universe despairs when it has enough consciousness to perceive itself. It goes mad trying to find meaning in its very existence. When you see everything, you despair and find no meaning.

There's a sort of cosmic horror there, that Chuck himself lives in the shadow of. That is in fact WHY Chuck dons the Chuck mask, desperately trying to be SMALL and hyperfixating on Sam and Dean. This has some...difficult implications for where we leave Jack in season 15.

Amara had Chuck right in that he wanted to be BIG, but he was also trying very desperately to be SMALL, too. He couldn't effectively be either and find peace.

Cas is seeing all of this stuff and seeing that no only does the mechanistic, rigged universe have no real meaning. It is a horror of repetition, and he has no business participating in it because he is a destroyer. When he tried to shoulder his father's burden of power, he failed snd devolved into a worse tyrant.

Furthermore, his location in the food chain is unbearably cruel. How can he bear to be happy and prosper at the expense of human lives? (See above; also, this is Cas's core issue with happiness vs angel asceticism)

///

MEG watches from across the room.

CASTIEL It's funny. I was – I was done for, too.

MEG leaves.

CASTIEL The weight of all my mistakes, all those lives and souls lost, I... I couldn't take it, either. I was… I was lost until I took on your pain. It's strange to think that that helped, but –

This is a penance that comes up often for Sam and Cas as characters, that taking on PAIN and SUFFERING will erase their mistakes. This is a deeply religious concept, and it shows up time and again in humsn psychology.

That they're not allowed to live unless they make up for all they've done. It's a dangerous sort of self-flagellation that all three of them tend to do at times.

(It's why Dean doesn't allow cas to heal him in season 12.)

/// SAM I know you never did anything but try to help. I realize that, Cas, and I'm grateful. We're all grateful. And we're gonna help you get better, okay? No matter what it takes.

CASTIEL What do you mean, "better"?

///

This is Sam's version of forgiveness. He can give it easier since the whole thing with Cas was at more of a distance; the wound was physical and not as deeply emotional in terms of Sam's world, compared to how Dean loved Cas.

To answer Cas: What he means by "better," Cas, is feeling worthy of participating in life again. This is not mental illness per se, not somuch as what it means in the realm of civilian health: it is specifically a WAR WOUND. It's MORAL INJURY.

We'll see this theme with SAM and CAS a lot in coming seasons, Cas committing suicide (effectively) by choosing Purgatory. Sam checking out of life with Amelia, rather than balancing his responsibility to Kevin. Cas not wanting to face up to what he's done to Heaven. (Hunter Heroici is THE episode that underlines this for Sam and Cas).

Happiness must be BALANCED with responsibility, and not simply represent running away and checking out as a means of avoidance.

Sam nor Cas do a good job balancing responsibility with happiness, like ever. They both tend to either check out completely OR turn into workaholics chained to hunting and angelic soldierdom, manifested in Hell trials for humanity and Angel: trials for angels: "mission above self." (Dean does this in the beginning of season 15 with the vampire kid; then promptly checks out to eat cereal and marathon Scooby-Doo).

Aside// I think Amelia could've been a good thing for Sam, except that it's his Charming Acres. Cas's checking out of life and subsequent "fighting injured" took a much darker turn towards suicide "Purgatory."

When Cas came to his senses; that is, he collected his thoughts and wove all that disparate information into a composition of MEANING, he remembered WHAT he wanted to fight for, and WHO he wanted to fight for, BUT despair was so powerful, he wanted to simply stay in Purgatory.

Shabby studies in meaning making

Some disturbing revisitations to PTSD!Cas

7x21

CASTIEL Yes. Of course. Oh. Outside today, in the garden, I followed a honeybee. I saw the route of flowers. It's all right there, the whole plan. There's nothing to add.

This means, the plan is complete. We shouldn't add anything to it. Certainly not free will.

///

CASTIEL Will you look at her? My caretaker. All of that thorny pain. So beautiful.

Not much here, except he likes Meg.

///

CASTIEL Yes. I heard a ping that pierced me, and, well, you wouldn't have heard it unless you were an angel at the time.

CASTIEL Oh. Of course. Now I understand.

CASTIEL You were the ones. Well... I guess that makes sense.

CASTIEL If someone was going to free the Word from the vault of the earth, it would end up being you two. Oh, I love you guys.

CASTIEL pulls DEAN and SAM into a hug.

Some contradictory relief here; the relief that Sam and Dean are bringing meaning to chaos.

///

CASTIEL Did you know that a cat's penis is sharply barbed along its shaft? I know for a fact the females were not consulted about that.

Sex. Cas is mentioning it A LOT. Like he's trying to distance himself from it in a clinical, "watcher" kind of way. Probably he can't understand why he wants it, what possible connection if could offer. Perhaps he's disgusted with himself. He'll revisit it often: repetition, sex and wars. Bees like flowers because they feed on their nectar and pollen, and they facilitate sex between flowers.

///

CASTIEL This is the handwriting of Metatron.

CASTIEL Uh... "Tree”? [He looks at SAM and DEAN.] "Horse"? "Fiddler crab"? I can't read it. It wasn't meant for angels.

Wryness. Also re: above and Word freed from the vault; angels aren't meant to make meaning.

///

CASTIEL Don't like conflict.

CASTIEL disappears and the stone tablet drops to the floor, breaking into three pieces.

Dismissive avoidant in full swing. No emotions, no participation, no war-making. He breaks everything he touches. NOTE: The angel tablet breaks into THREE pieces, representing Sam, Dean AND Cas.

///

DEAN walks over to stand in front of CASTIEL.

DEAN You realize you just broke God's Word?

CASTIEL looks away and DEAN sits down at the table opposite him.

WOW. And it broke into THREE pieces! Cas is ever the glue, an essential component of free will.

///

DEAN It's Sam's thing, isn't it? You taking on his, uh, cage-match scars. I'm guessing that's what broke your bank, right?

CASTIEL Well, it took... everything to get me here.

DEAN What are you talking about, man?

This is VERY mysterious. Makes you think maybe there's more to Daphne, or more to Naomi journeying to Purgatory to get Cas back. That Cas is more important than he realizes?

///

CASTIEL Dean, I know you want different answers.

DEAN No, I want you to button up your coat and help us take down Leviathans. Do you remember what you did?

CASTIEL holds up the board game “Sorry!” He shakes it once and the board and pieces appear on the table, set up ready to play. CASTIEL sets the box aside.

CASTIEL Do you want to go first?

They're venting their frustration at each other through talking about other things and being indirect. I think of the conversation about Adam & Michael from Season 15. They're both symbolically irritated with one another. Dean is seriously wounded: Bobby is dead, he almost lost Sam, and then he got Cas back and promptly lost him again right away. For a guy carrying around another guy's coat, Dean's definitely at sea. Cas is essentially saying in code: YOU APOLOGIZE TO ME FIRST.

///

DEAN picks up a “Sorry!” card.

Dean's playing! Visually, he's sorry. We know he is because of how we saw him sing along to "I'm All Out of Love" by Air Supply. We saw the conversations between Bobby and Sam. We saw the coat Dean carried around. But Dean doesn't get his meaning across. He's too hurt.

///

CASTIEL You know, we weren't sure at first which monkeys were gonna make it. No offense, but I [DEAN moves a marker on the board] was backing the Neanderthals because their poetry was... just amazing. It's in perfect tune [CASTIEL picks up a card] with the spheres. But in the end, it was you – the [CASTIEL moves a marker] homo sapiens sapiens. You guys ate the apple, invented pants.

Cas is distancing himself from humanity, putting Dean under a microscope and moving as FAR from him as possible. We're not alike, angels and humans. I'm above you, away from you. It's a callback to all of Uriel's insults, it's a callback to "You're just a man."

///

DEAN Cas, where can we find this, uh, Metatron? Is he still alive?

CASTIEL I'm sorry. I – I think you have to go back to start.

DEAN moves a marker.

DEAN This is important.

CASTIEL motions for DEAN to pick up another card. DEAN does and moves another marker.

DEAN I think Metatron could stop a lot of bad. You understand that?

CASTIEL picks up another card.

CASTIEL We live in a "sorry" universe. It's engineered to create conflict. I mean, why should I prosper from... your misfortune? [CASTIEL puts down a marker and moves DEAN’s marker back to the start.] But these are the rules. I didn't make them.

Cas is giving into nihilism. Nothing matters. The universe just sucks and is neverending conflict. Angels are angels and humans are humans. Human suffer and angels hoard their souls as winter-food in Heaven, perhaps. They are fundamentally incompatible. I didn't make the rules, Dean. The universe is harsh and unforgiving.

///

DEAN You made some of them. When you tried to become God, when you cut that hole into that wall.

CASTIEL Dean... it's your move.

///

Cas ignores his role in any of it. Cas has completely withdrawn from life. From this entire game.

///

DEAN pounds a fist on the table and swipes the board to the floor.

DEAN Forget the damn game! Forget the game, Cas.

Dean hates the game, obviously. Chuck's stupid, stupid game. He wants to tear up the rulebook, still--bot follow the honeybee into the garden and consider it complete and unworthy of rewriting. Dean still wants to rewrite the rules OF the game.

///

CASTIEL I'm sorry, Dean.

DEAN No. You're playing "Sorry!"

And he is. Cas is shunting all the responsibility to the nihilism and coldness of the universe, seeing himself as a cog prospering from the misfortune of others. He denigrates humanity as nothing more than sets of monkeys that angels were "backing or not backing," like a GAME. That chasm between angel and human seems is wide and uncrossable.

Dean hates the inescapable game.

///

CASTIEL is picking up the game pieces. He stops and looks up.

DEAN What?

Cas resolves to KEEP PLAYING THE GAME, just as he does later in Golden Times.

15x06 >>> MELLY: Thing is, taking yourself out of the game doesn't really change the game CASTIEL: Yeah. If I stay, nothing changes. It's time for me to get back in the game.

[marchivists]

not the place to fall in love

read on ao3

Iwaizumi is stuck, perhaps perpetually, in level four of Candy Crush.

Although this is the least of his worries at the moment, he can’t help but grumble at his aggravatingly neon screen with annoyance.. It’s been fivehours since they got to the airport, meaning Iwaizumi has survived five hours of sliding candy this way and that for seconds at a time only to be inevitably interrupted.

“I’m pretty sure only old people play that game now,” the interruption remarks. Oikawa leans across the arms of the disappointingly uncomfortable waiting room chairs they are seated in to glance at Iwaizumi’s screen. “‘I always knew my Iwa-chan was secretly a grumpy old man in disguise. He sighs dismissively, all while a sly grin slowly takes over his features. “I wish you would have told me beforehand. Your ticket would have been somuch cheaper.”

“Sit in your own seat, asshole.” Iwaizumi pushes Oikawa away and, ignoring his protests at being treated so unfairly, turns to put his phone in his pocket. He hopes the turn of his shoulder is enough to hide his blush at being called “my Iwa-chan,” or that at the very least Oikawa has lost at least 50% of his perceptive abilities after being trapped in the airport with no stimulation for so long.

Iwaizumi has always loved airports. They’re big, loud, full of hope and potential. Oikawa has always hated them, and Iwaizumi can see it now in the way he anxiously scans the crowd of unfamiliar faces around them. His shoulders are unnaturally straight and pulled back. His posture screams I am untouchable , and it is convincing, for anyone searching for chairs in the full waiting area scurry elsewhere when their eyes reach Oikawa’s proud, rigid form. It makes Iwaizumi want to grab his hand, but for the moment he isn’t sure if the untouchable part applies to best friends or not.

He checks his watch. They still have an hour or so before their flight is ready to board. Oikawa had insisted on being unnaturally early, and Iwaizumi had complied with little to no complaining. Oikawa mirrors Iwaizumi and checks his own watch. “Do you think we’ll be late?”

Iwaizumi rolls his eyes. “Only if it takes us an hour to walk ten meters.”

Oikawa huffs. Iwaizumi takes out his phone again.

Oikawa is uncharacteristically quiet. Iwaizumi has to stop himself from doing a tiny victory dance in his seat after he reaches level five. A text momentarily stops him from lining up five yellow candies.

From: Oikawa

iwa-chan~~

Iwaizumi swipes the notification away and watches as the candy disappears. Level six.

From: Oikawa

i can see ur phone from here :3 congrats on leveling up, old man iwa-chan

Iwaizumi turns to flip Oikawa off, and receives a strained smile in return. There is more silence. Level seven, and then level eight. Nine, ten, eleven. He reaches level eighteen before his phone gets another notification.

From: Oikawa

you know, there’s a 86% chance we’ll both die if the plane crashes

Iwaizumi starts at this. He turns in his seat, ready to spout the facts and data he had memorized the day before. There is a one in 29 million chance we will not walk off that plane. He had been kept awake the night before after talking with Oikawa about the trip, wondering how Oikawa’s ever present anxiety was going to twist the safety of a plane into something horrible. He had imagined dramatic explosions, smoke pouring out of engines and catching flame. He had armed himself with information, just in case Oikawa needed it. He is about to say something about how the last airplane crash was in 2015 when his phone, forgotten in his hands, dings again.

He glances at Oikawa, but Oikawa is looking down at his phone, his expression casual and bored, as if he’s run out of things to like on Instagram.

From: Oikawa

maybe we should go home. lol

Iwaizumi puts his phone away. “Oikawa.”

He makes his way off of his seat so that he is squatting in front of Oikawa. He receives no response, so he pokes the setter in the leg to make sure he’s listening.

“Tell me the stats for a plane crash.”

Oikawa hums and makes sure the hem of his shirt is still intact. “And why would I know that?”

“Well, then tell me the stats for getting into your school. Into the volleyball program there.”

Oikawa shrugs dismissively, like someone who hates bragging but can’t tell the truth without unwittingly doing so. It makes Iwaizumi want to headbutt him.

“Only three percent of the applicants get in, remember? Three percent .”

“I know that.”

“Then tell me, why should we go home?”

Oikawa stares at him now, and his face is full is full of questions he probably doesn’t want answered.. Aren’t you scared, too? Yes, Iwaizumi wants to answer, but not of the same things you are. What if they just send me back anyway? What’s the point? Iwaizumi’s own eyes are impenetrable and knowing. He stares back, hoping he’s managing to get his silent message across. You are amazing. You deserve this chance.  

Only a second passes before Oikawa breaks their staring contest, eyes darting around anxiously for the smallest of moments to see if anyone has noticed his sudden break in character. “I suppose I can endure the devastatingly long flight. Even though it will be practically unbearable sitting next to a brute like yourself.”

“Good.” Iwaizumi clears his throat and makes to return to his seat. Oikawa has relaxed, and his posture isn’t screaming now as much as talking. He waves and coos gently to a baby a few seats away and earns a tiny smile, both from the baby and it’s mother, both hopelessly charmed by his easy smile and fluid movements.

Iwaizumi is charmed, too; has always been. Is charmed and amazed by his ability to quickly recover from anything. One look at Oikawa would never let you on about the anxiety he had surely felt moments before, or that he was leaving everything he knew behind to pursue a unsecured career. For the second time today, Iwaizumi has the urge to take his hand.

He stops himself at the last seconds, and runs his hand through his hair instead. Iwaizumi swore to himself, and to Hanamaki and Matsukawa, that he would not come back to Japan without confessing someway, somehow. But a crowded airport is not the place, and right before a fifteen hour flight is not the time for a confession.

He doesn’t expect to be accepted. Oikawa has had so many confessions from so many people, most better than Iwaizumi in every respect. Iwaizumi does not expect to be accepted, but he will not let Oikawa go without telling him everything. And as long as he doesn’t have to sit next to his rejector fifteen miserable hours, everything would be fine. Probably.

Minutes tick by in comfortable silence, and Iwaizumi gets to level twenty-one. Oikawa decides to mark the occasion with a trip to the bathroom.

“I’ll watch our stuff.” Iwaizumi assures.

“No, no,” Oikawa insists, pulling Iwaizumi’s phone from his hand and putting it in the pocket of his jeans. “You have to come with me, Iwa-chan. It’s boring doing it alone.”

“Do you think you could sound more perverted if you tried?”

Oikawa sticks out his tongue. “So immature.” He drags Iwaizumi to woman with the baby. “Excuse me, do you mind watching our stuff for a moment?”

The woman assures them she can, and the baby babbles pleasantly in agreement.

For reasons only his heart can explain, Iwaizumi allows himself to be drug across the airport into the bathroom. He half listens to Oikawa’s frivolous remarks about the memes Hanamaki keeps sending him, and doesn’t that lady right there look ridiculous in those clown shoes? And then, too suddenly for Iwaizumi to keep up with, Oikawa’s carefree grin turns into a painful grimace.

Ushijima stands in front of one of the urinals of the airport bathroom, doing what one does in front of urinals and has yet to notice them. Iwaizumi turns to share a silent conversation with Oikawa, to ask what the hell? and set up a game plan. Do they tease him? Do they walk out? Do they pull down his pants and leave him stranded, alone in the bright white airport bathroom? But Oikawa is staring at Ushijima and is too busy having a silent conversation with himself to worry about Iwaizumi.

An hour passes, and Ushijima zips up his pants. Oikawa tenses. He squeezes Iwaizumi’s wrist, trying to tell him something, surely, and then he’s off, turning around sharply. Iwaizumi has to stumble to keep up, and now they’re headed out the door. Oikawa pulls down the light switch just as he hits the exit and the bathroom is flooded with black.

“Holy shit, ” Iwaizumi hisses as the door closes behind him, leaving Ushijima trapped in the dark.

Oikawa continues to pull him, heading in the direction of their things. “What the fuck, Iwa-chan?”

Iwaizumi isn’t sure why they’re both whispering, but he doesn’t feel inclined to stop. It feels as though Ushijima, and in turn Shiratorizawa, is leaning over them, trying to learn their secrets. They practically run back to their luggage, and then Oikawa is squatting behind their chairs and looking over the top cautiously, like they used to do when they would play spy in his backyard. Iwaizumi joins him, and they see Ushijima walk out of the bathroom.

“He’s hideous ,” Oikawa whispers, and Iwaizumi nods. They watch as he makes his way towards them, towards their waiting area. “Holy shit,” Oikawa wheezes, and the shocking boyish-ness of the sound pulls all the tension from the air. “Iwa-chan, oh my god. Look, look! He’s wearing crocs .”

Iwaizumi looks, and sees that it is so. They’re bright yellow and look out of place in the stainless steel surroundings of the airport. “Holy shit,” Iwaizumi breathes. Oikawa hasn’t stopped wheezing, and Iwaizumi is forced to cover his mouth with his hands as Ushijima sits in the seat directly behind their hiding spot.

Iwaizumi stares at Oikawa and Oikawa, trapped in his place behind Iwaizumi’s hands, is forced to stare back.

“What do we do?” Iwaizumi whispers, and Oikawa shrugs. “He’s right there , Oikawa.”

Oikawa makes some muffled attempt at words behind Iwaizumi’s hand and Iwaizumi lets him go. “We could go get some plastic knives from the cafeteria. There are plenty of places to hide a body in an airport. Probably.”

“You’re a really shitty guy, you know that right?,” Iwaizumi’s voice slips from a whisper back to it’s normal volume, and Oikawa, returning the favor from earlier, uses both his hands to cover Iwaizumi’s mouth. Iwaizumi licks them in response, and Oikawa screeches as he pulls his hands back, already wiping them on his pants.

“Oikawa.”

Iwaizumi and Oikawa share a look. Yikes.

“Ushiwaka-chan,” Oikawa replies coolly. Teenage, boyish, silly Oikawa is gone, replaced by captain definitely not a genius Oikawa Tooru He does not dignify Ushijma’s presence by getting up, but instead falls back on his hands and leans backwards casually. He waits, inviting Ushijima to continue.

Ushijima coughs awkwardly, and picks up the bag he had just sat in his chair moments before. “I would refrain from using the restrooms. The lights do not work.”

As he leaves, Oikawa sucks in a breath of fast air disapprovingly. Iwaizumi mutters “asshole” in an equally disapproving tone and waits for Oikawa to laugh, even as he knows it won’t happen. The mood, and all of Iwaizumi’s good work from earlier have become sour. But at least now Oikawa isn’t focused on the 86% chance of them dying, but of how sharp the plastic knives in the cafeteria might be.  

“I pity the person,” Oikawa says cooly as he stands, offering Iwaizumi a hand up. His posture screams I am a weapon. Do not touch. “who has to sit next to that on his plane.”

Iwaizumi grabs Oikawa’s hand without question. “And you thought you had it rough sitting next to me.”

Oikawa smiles.

Planes are not safe.

This thought consumes Oikawa entirely, until he is left with nothing more. Planes are not safe, are the opposite of safe, and yet he is sitting in one, allowing the stewardess to hand him a tiny cup of water. Iwaizumi is wrestling with his backpack, trying to fit it in the overhead compartment above, well, their heads.

“You could, you know, help me.” Iwaizumi grunts, but smiles triumphantly a moment later as the door closes on their things with a satisfying klunk.

Oikawa pulls himself into his chair as much as possible to allow Iwaizumi to slip past. He had made sure, when he’d bought the tickets, to get an aisle seat. As far away from the window as it gets.

“Cool, huh?” Iwaizumi asks, referring to the plane, his eyebrows are raised in a way that shows he is really asking are you okay?

“I can hardly hold in my enthusiasm,” Oikawa answers, his voice light in a way that says don’t worry about me. “Quick, Iwa-chan, check my pulse. Am I too excited?”

“How do you always manage to make everything sound disgusting.” Iwaizumi huffs in a resigned sort of way as he settles into his chair, head angled towards the window, meaning either okay, I trust you or I always am. Oikawa does not know which one he would prefer, so he translates it into I really want to look out this window instead.

“I am a delight.”

Iwaizumi looks at though he thinks otherwise, but before he can dispute his face twists in confusion. “What the-”

Oikawa looks in the general area of Iwaizumi’s confusion, and feels his lungs drop into his stomach. Ushijima Wakatoshi is making his way towards them, strong arms holding tightly to a hideously green duffel bag as he searches for his seat.

Don’t sit here don’t sit here don’t sit here don’t-

Ushijima passes them, and Oikawa allows himself to release the breath he’s been holding in. And then Ushijima turns around, looks down at his ticket to check the seat number. And then he sits directly across from them.

Oikawa’s hand clench into fists at his sides. His teeth clench in his mouth. He is silent in his frustration as Ushijima takes far too long to put his tiny luggage into the overhead and sit down. He takes even longer to notice them.

“I did not realize you would be on this flight.”

Oikawa is about to say something poisonous, but Iwaizumi interjects with something blunt instead. “I’m here too, you know.”

“Iwaizumi.” Ushijima nods his acknowledgment.

There is silence. A baby cries a few rows above them.

“Oh,” Ushijima states, a sudden realization dawning on him. “Are you going to the acceptance ceremony in New York as well?”

Oikawa feels his face twitch. “I got accepted, actually.”

“Oh.” Everything about Ushijima, his expression, his voice, is a wall. A blank slate that does not portray any special meaning for the word oh except oh itself . Oikawa can not conjure the interest or energy to search for a deeper meaning. “I am glad to see you made a wise decision.”

The reference of past conversations dripping off of Ushijima’s word are not lost on Oikawa or Iwaizumi, and the fact that it is not intentional makes them both scowl. After a beat of heavy silence, Oikawa goes to put in his headphones, and turns to Iwaizumi, making sure his words are loud enough for the ex-captain of Shiratorizawa to hear. “Plane rides sure are exhausting, aren’t they, Iwa-chan?”

[pooma-bible]

Olusola Babarinde

Nigeria

Hallelujah. It is another time of refreshing. Let us pray as we start.

Lord we thank you so much for your eternal love for us. Lord we pray that you will speak to us now and help us to understand your mind, thank you for answering us, in Jesus name we pray. Amen..

Today's teaching is the complementary part of that of last week.

So we are still on Dreams from Satan under the sources of dream...

This is the complementary part. So:

1. Satan torments with dreams

2. And Satan brings good dreams as baits.

It is on that I want to conclude this teaching before we go into prayer

Avoid imbalances:

There are two imbalances to avoid

1. Objective imbalances

2. Subjective imbalances

Objective imbalance:

This means acting only on what you see alone e.g he has money, he is fine, she is gentle, etc.

Note the following:

1. Your dream can be wrong while things you see is right and accurate

2. Your dream can be right while things you see is wrong

3. Both your dream and things you see can be wrong

4. Both your dream and things you see may be correct

The way you will know what to do is through prayer

Let me show you from the Bible: Now when they had gone throughout Phrygia and the region of Galatia, *and were forbidden of the Holy Ghost to preach the word in Asia, [7] After they were come to Mysia, they assayed to go into Bithynia: but the Spirit suffered them not. [8] And they passing by Mysia came down to Troas. [9] And a vision appeared to Paul in the night; There stood a man of Macedonia, and prayed him, saying, Come over into Macedonia, and help us. [10] And after he had seen the vision, immediately we endeavoured to go into Macedonia, assuredly gathering that the Lord had called us for to preach the gospel unto them. Acts 16:6-10.

Yes brethren. In fact that a prophet saw it for you doesn't mean it is right. Pray so as not to cry later.. the

If you read above passage, you will see what am saying. Paul and his company had concluded on where they wanted to go, but the Spirit did not allow them. Later the Spirit showed them a vision and through that they knew where God wanted them...

You can see a vision clearly and correctly, meanwhile it is not from God.

Many prophets who don't take care of holiness had ruined many people's life because there source can be perverted.. There vision can be manipulated..

Their vision can be manipulated. Kindly pray the following prayer

1. Let us thank God for the release from the Spirit to Bro. Olusola BABARINDE to us. Thank God for great mysteries constantly revealed. Things I teach are not read in a book and are not messages of others. Thank God for constant fresh revelations, Deep things

2. Lord help to avoid imbalances in judgement. Give me grace to:

See as you see,

To hear as you hear

To know as you know

3. Lord help me to always decide for your will, never allow Satan .to mislead me..

4. Lord rescue me from the aftermaths of all my past wrong choices.

Closing prayer:

Our eternal rock of ages we thank you somuch for the wonderful and deep things you have again revealed to us tonight through your servant, Daddy we give you all the glory honour and adoration in Jesus name, : Daddy thank you for your spirit upon your servant: Father we pray that the purpose of all these we are learning will be accomplished in our lives in Jesus name Father help us to see like you, to know like you. To hear like you in Jesus name Father help us to balance what we see and what we dream in Jesus name. Father we come against any manipulation of the wicked one in Jesus name: Father concerning your servant you have used daddy we say thank you: Father we pray that you bless him more and grant all his heart desires in Jesus name. Thank you once more Lord for this wonderful and timely teaching. In Jesus mighty name we pray. Amen.

[subcorax]

fic: you can follow

Fandom: Dishonored Rating: T Pairing(s): Corvo Attano/The Outsider Characters: The Outsider, Billie Lurk, Corvo Attano Tags: post-doto, second person pov Word Count:  1378

Summary: from a boy to a god to a man with too many memories, the outsider learns to live. 

Read on Ao3

you breathe.

it hurts.

.

together the two of you begin to stumble down the mountain and you are silent.

where, then, lies the human soul? a natural philosopher had written once, his fingernails stained with a dead man’s blood, his heart neatly dissected on a tray in search of his very being.

it was of no matter; you know, now. a soul lies in a name and yours echoes in your ears, speaks with every beat of a pulse against your neck, your wrist, your chest.

.

billie says she hopes she won’t have to teach you how to piss. you hope so as well. it has been four thousand years and you have forgotten so very much but the difference between humility and humiliation that you once thought so insignificant has been shown into sharp relief once more, and you do not want this woman to have to teach you that which most children manage by four.

eventually, on shaking colt’s legs, you relieve yourself against a low brick wall.

.

as you are so often wont to do, you think of corvo.

you had watched him in the days after coldridge with some interest – watched as he retched and threw up miniscule mouthfuls of food, watched as small creaks and wooden groans kept him up long nights, watched him stalk the grounds of the hound pits, bewildered, like he couldn’t believe there was so much space in the world.

it was like, you had thought at the time, he had forgotten how to be human.

.

perhaps you have been… arrogant. you have been accused of as much before, but now you put some weight to the argument. perhaps corvo, all scars and bruises and deep-set loss, was far more human than most the day he left coldridge prison.

you have been freed in the most extravagant jailbreak in an eon and a half and you’ve got nothing to show for it but the razor thin scars to show where your shackles were, long since faded to slivers of white against the pink of your skin.

you barely know how to sleep.

.

huddled over a fire in the batista district you tell billie you want to go to dunwall. she laughs humourlessly, calls him a crazy bastard, says daud was right, but she’s got the keys to a ship the next afternoon, which startles you. you had thought she would jump at the chance to part ways with you, to relieve herself of the burden you are posing.

billie lurk has vowed once, twice, thrice, over and over across the years to never return to dunwall, and when the two of you leave karnaca’s docks she is smiling at the sun dipping below the horizon.

.

she has given you food and clothes and vowed to help you reach dunwall tower, and you find yourself thinking of corvo yet again, of the odd little parallels. perhaps, you think sardonically, you should be watching billie for ulterior motives, hidden plots. but there is no future in which billie will stab you in the back to watch you bleed out like any other man, send you floating up the river, and–

and you remember that you cannot see much of anyone’s future, anymore, and yet you are certain of this nonetheless. trust, you think, with some measure of surprise, you trust her and isn’t that another small piece of irony when you had faulted corvo for this exact thing, his thoughtless, easy belief in the men who had saved him.

you wonder if billie will teach you how to apologise, in the weeks to come.

.

you are watching the waves roll from the deck when she wraps the coat around your shoulders, the long, heavy one she’s been wearing more days than not, and you are assaulted by the harsh smell of tobacco and stale smoke.

you remember watching her rifle through her belongings on the dreadful wale, deciding what parts of daud to keep, what she could afford to keep and carry with her, travelling on foot. a few journals, letters, his sword, and the coat, and you had thought, idly, she has a warmer coat, why keep wearing– and only now does sentiment invade you like weeds through cracks in a stone slab because billie lurk grew up tugging at the sleeves of a man who smelled like old smoke and whiskey and you have, as of late, found yourself unerringly, wretchedly attached to anything you can remember of being alive.

you keep the coat on long after the residual heat of billie’s body has faded from it, held captive by a deep longing for memories that are not your own.

.

strange – how many thousands of men have begged you for power, screams clamouring to be heard above the void’s rushing winds, and to corvo it is a gift you will give not once, but twice.

thrice, if you count emily, though corvo does not, still rankles at the danger it poses her when the abbey has long been sniffing at their heels.  

still, still, he had run fingers across the bare skin where the mark had been and when you had offered it to him again he had received it like a benediction.

you had warned him against rooftop escapades at his age, knowing full well that he would retire in one short year to cullero, and you would not live to see it.

.

billie’s face is painted across every street in karnaca, but most of the posters were stripped down in dunwall, and they dock at the wrenhaven port without much trouble, despite the long look billie gives you when you introduce yourself to the inspector as aramis.

.

you both rent a room at a pub to sleep off your sealegs, eat breakfast downstairs the next morning. billie catches you staring across the room to where a sharp-dressed girl is whispering in a busboy’s ear and you find yourself explaining, that those two have whispered like this since they were children, that you have heard every piece of love and loss and intrigue to pass between them, and your voice is half a semblance of the gravity it once held but twice as wistful and you mourn, now i cannot hear anything at all.

billie has been in an odd mood this morning, on-edge and eager like she was when she was a girl, perched precariously on a rooftop and waiting for a signal, for a scream. she smiles, wryly, says, tell me something else you know, and you pause, think, before lamenting that you’d been watching a girl in morley, a bastard child of the king cast out into the streets by his queen.

interesting enough to mark? and there are hooks and barbs in that question that you are unsure how to avoid, so you just shrug, say, no, but if she reaches twenty she will make a bid for her father’s throne. a smile, and, it will cause lady emily no end of problems.

billie is smiling as well when she reminds you that you will still live to see it happen, if you don’t do something stupid.

you wonder what it will be like to be a spectator from here, looking at one corner of a painting and unable to see the whole picture. interesting, you hope.

.

corvo presses two fingers to the pulse on your neck, eyes wide and searching and he is, for a moment, young and desperate, filled with fear and awe and questions and looking to you for answers.

a trick, an illusion? he asks, and you reach up for the hand that has come to cup your cheek. your finger traces your name into dark fabric where you know new scar tissue lies underneath.

you have watched him train since he was a boy, the little crow from the batista district who would love an empress, who would come to love somuch, you have watched every blister and callus form on his hands and it is another thing entirely to feel them moving on the soft skin of your face, down your jaw, to rest across your neck and–

the scar.

.

you breathe, and he breathes with you.

it hurts, and that is what makes a human soul.