#god i love sunday morning its underrated

[azuwahhhhhh]

Okay, but like, what if you looked into the mirror and saw the candle stretching back so far away (and also mirror)? And you saw a face the darkness? Is it him? Or is it-

He's lying down. Oh, Sonya why is he lying down?

[louiseslibrary]

Hey you beauts and happy Friday <3

Today really is a happy one for me because it’s 1 year since I ate chocolate…….. I know CRAZY, right?   This may not seem like a big deal to any of you but for me it’s a big achievement in fact, a massive frigging one. I am actually so delighted with myself as stupid as it sounds. I was an absolute chocolate addict, like 3 or 4 bars a day no bother to me. It really makes me sick thinking about it now but at the time, I didn’t see the problem. I truly thought there was nothing massively wrong with eating that much each day.

So you may wonder why I decided to give it up? What was my reason I suppose?  It all started last year when I was deciding what I would do for Lent. Every year I say I will do something and don’t but last year I just said yeah feck it and gave it a go and when Easter Sunday rolled around  I was offered chocolate  but I didn’t want to break my chocolate ban. I should mention I was going through a temporary break up and was very upset so not much eating was happening but even when the upset passed. I didn’t crave it the same way anymore, I had beaten the addiction.

Why I gave it up…

I had noticed a few things happening in my life and did think chocolate wasn’t helping. One major thing was I would favour chocolate over a substantial snack and it was my go to when  I was feeling peckish for a pick me up but, note to self: what goes up, must come down.  This is so important when thinking about your blood sugar levels. I went into Oxford Circus one evening after work shopping and to cut a long ass story short, I stacked it on the tube, like I mean I was out cold… during rush hour. I was mortified. So embarrassed. I still go red thinking of it. Fainting is a scary thing being surrounded by people who know you, I didn’t have a clue who these people were looking at me when I came round.

Another biggie for taking my chocolate break was because I was crashing every evening when I got home from work and would have to nap.  I would be cranky as hell if I didn’t get at least 30 mins every evening. I didn’t have the energy for football training or even seeing people.  I just wanted to sleep.  I was feeling so sluggish and I wanted that to go away.  Its a horrible feeling.  You just feel horrible about yourself and your mood.

I knew it was extremely unhealthy to be eating that much. I was walking myself in to having type 2 diabetes really. It’s no secret the dangers of too much sugar and its something I was ignoring.

And I suppose the biggest reason at the time and even up to now…. I was proving to myself I actually had some will power and could do it!

Do I miss it?

I’m a girl, I have periods every month…. OF COURSE I miss it!!! haha

Honestly, when I first started it was tough trying to find something as my 11am snack and 3pm pick me up if I had forgot to pack a lunch for work. I would be lying if I didn’t tell you that so many times I thought feck this, I can’t do it I am going to have a twirl or something, nobody will know but I don’t now, I was so determined to do it this time I would stop myself and I’m so glad I did.

Now that I have gone so long without it, the cravings have become less and less.  There are days of course where one square of Dairy Milk seems like it would be heaven but then I remind myself, is it worth it?  Look what you have gained by not eating it.

Benefits of not eating chocolate:

A lot more energy in a day – I don’t feel the need to nap after work everyday. Granted I have days where I am tired but I know it’s because of not sleeping enough the night before or if I have been playing a lot of sport that week.  It’s not to do with having an excessive amount of sugar between 8am and 5pm.

My skin has improved – I’m not saying I know longer have spots or my skin is flawless but I do notice a change.  I don’t feel like my skin is as dull looking as I did last year and I figure any little improvement boosts your confidence.

Weight loss – Now this probably wasn’t notable to anyone else because I’m not claiming to have dropped a size but my jeans most definitely fit that little bit better.  I know myself I was on the verge of becoming a bigger size last year which I personally didn’t want to do.  I probably only lost a pound or two but it made the world of difference to me.

I haven’t fainted since, massive bonus!

Saved on money.  A chocolate bar is on average £0.70 even more in some places compared to a banana which is like £0.13 usually.

What have I learnt from it?

It’s definitely shown me that you don’t NEED chocolate like I would have once claimed. You crave it because that’s what you know, it’s what you’re used to.

I have realised that I have more will power than I gave myself credit for last February. If you want something bad enough you can do it when you set your mind to it.

I now understand why my grandparents always have them hard boiled sweets in their houses.  When I have a sweet craving that won’t go away and fruit can’t fix it, I’ll be sure to whip out a mint humbug these days (don’t judge me, they are underrated!!)

Chocolate is EVERYWHERE when you are trying to avoid it! When you look up recipes to bake there is chocolate in everything or dripped over so much. When you walk into a shop you are faced with rows of chocolate bars.  Its torture, honestly!

Would I do it again?

Yes and no, I do want a day off!!  I know on Saturday I want to treat myself to a chocolate milkshake when I finish my morning training session. I have wanted one for so long but there is something in my head saying “No Louise, you have come so far”…. Stupid as hell I know.  I do think I will have one though, as a treat but come Sunday I will try start it all again. I won’t put a time frame on it for now.

The main reason I want to do it again is because I can’t deny how much better not eating it has made me feel.  I don’t want to go back to eating it constantly and feeling rubbish about myself but you can’t deny sometimes you just want a little chocolate bar!  It will be tougher this year though because I am planning on giving up crisps this Lent. Now that’s not set in stone yet and I really doubt I will make it a year off both but god loves a trier, right?

My tips for giving it up:

I’m not sure if I can give you a whole lot of do this and that information but what worked for me…

Take it week by week.  You can’t predict what curve ball life throws at you and how you will feel so just go with the flow.

Don’t punish yourself if you feel like having some chocolate.  It’s normal when you’re addicted. That craving passes so just try your best not to give in to it.

Learn to pack snacks in your bag so when you want a sugar fix, you have something to hand and you will be less tempted to go buy a chocolate bar.

Think of your health.  Honestly, you won’t believe how much better you feel until you try it!

I really hope you enjoyed the post and found it somewhat helpful. If you’re thinking of giving something up for Lent this year or already gave it up after Christmas let me know what it is and why, I would love to hear from you.

Enjoy the weekend!

Louise. X

            My Chocolate Free Year Hey you beauts and happy Friday <3 Today really is a happy one for me because it's 1 year since I ate chocolate........

[callowsermons]

Philemon

Paul’s letter to Philemon is an underrated gem. It’s Paul’s shortest letter, only twenty-five verses long. It’s also a letter without much teaching. Unlike most of Paul’s letters that are written to whole churches, this letter is addressed to Philemon asking a favor of the Church leader. It may seem strange, at first, that such a letter found its way into our canon. How is this the word of God for us the people of God? But once we dig in we’ll see that Paul has something powerful to say about our life together in Christ, and how we are to treat one another. It is a concrete explanation of one of Paul’s enigmatic sayings: “You are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus, for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” (Gal. 3:26-28)

Philemon is a leader of the Church in Colosse. We know that he is fairly well to do because he has a slave, Onesimus, who has run away. Paul suggests that he may have stolen something from Philemon on his way out, which wouldn’t be uncommon.

Onesimus finds his way to Paul. Perhaps Onesimus ran to Paul because he was a Christian, but Paul says Onesimus became his son “while I was in chains” which suggests that Onesimus only became a Christian while meeting Paul at the prison. It is more likely that Onesimus ran to Paul because he had heard Paul’s preaching, and thought Paul was someone who would help him.

Paul sends Onesimus back to Philemon with this letter, which Paul means to be read in the church. Paul tells Philemon, “I hear about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for the saints,” and “Therefore, although in Christ I could be bold and order you to do what you ought to do, yet I appeal to you on the basis of love” and “I am sending him—who is my very heart—back to you” and “If you consider me a partner, welcome him as you would welcome me.”

It is pretty clear Paul is trying to pressure Philemon to do something, short of a direct order. But Paul is coy with what he expects, indeed that’s part of his strategy. “Confident of your obedience, I write to you, knowing that you will do even more than I ask.” He doesn’t command Philemon outright because he wants Philemon to act freely. Much as God desires that we act freely in love. Paul wants whatever Philemon does to be a genuine gift to a fellow brother in the Lord. 

So what is Paul’s intent? In the very least Paul intends for Philemon to accept Onesimus back into his household. He wants Onesimus to be received as a brother in the Lord, with all the honor that Paul himself would be received. The “more” Paul hints at is likely the manumission of Onesimus. He wants Onesimus to be freed from his slavery that he might be useful to the church in Colosse. Perhaps, he can join Paul in his own ministry. After all, a brother cannot be a slave. If Onesimus is truly a brother in the Lord, it must be the height of hypocrisy to make him a slave on earth. Paul wants Philemon to see this, and to recognize that this manumission is not a loss on his part, but rather a gain. He loses a slave, he gains a brother. What a tremendous gift.

Whether or not Philemon changes Onesimus’ legal status, his status within the congregation has already changed. He is a dear brother, son of Paul in the faith, a partner, whether Philemon likes it or not. Onesimus is one with Philemon, one with Paul, in Christ Jesus. The question is now whether Philemon is who Paul says he is, and will recognize this change in status in the eyes of Rome.

What makes this short little letter so fascinating to me is how we see the gospel of Christ changing the way the people of Colosse relate to one another. First, Paul claims he has certain rights to command, but gives them up. In this way he is like Jesus who though we was equal to God did not count his equality as something to be grasped but emptied himself taking the form of a slave. Second, Paul is also insistent that faith in Christ gives us all an equality of status before God, and we ought to treat each other as sisters and as brothers. Truly in God there is no Jew or Greek, slave or free, male or female. Not in that these distinctions are done away, but that they have no purchase in the Church. We are truly one in our one baptism in the one Lord. 

So those who have much—whether resources or rights—are asked to give them up for the sake of love. And we are to recognize that being a sister and brother in Christ is a more determinative, more important, more true identity than all those ascribed to us in the flesh. What I mean is, if someone is a sister or brother in Christ, we are to treat them in love regardless of anything else.

How often has the Church failed to live up to this lofty goal? We are called to give up our privileges, and yet we pull rank. We are called to treat each other as equals, but we let the world infect the Church. Once upon a time it was common for churches to rent out pews as a way to raise funds. So the richest got the best seats in the house. What would Jesus say about that? And yet even today we find churches separated along lines of race and class, making Sunday morning the most segregated time of the day as Martin Luther King Jr. once said. 

So much of the Christian life, so much of our life together, is living out this solidarity that Christ has made possible. How can we say we know the grace of God, if that grace does not work itself out in our lives? We all receive the same Spirit. We all have a common Lord. We all believe a common faith. How, then, can we not lead a common life? Outdoing each other in acts of love?

Philemon is an important letter to meditate on because it is so concrete. We see, in practice, how the Gospel works. It makes a slave a brother, it erases boundaries of blood and of status. It unites us in Christ. It changes our lives.

Questions for Reflection

Why do you think Onesimus searched out Paul? Or did he?

What do you think Philemon did?

How can we live out Gospel equality in our Church?

What change has the Gospel made in your life?

[asianbourdain]

Beijing: All the Random Shit I Ate in Beijing 2016

4/24/16

Traditional Beijing Breakfast at some local spot

We arrived in Beijing early Sunday Morning and we got into a taxi as fast as we possibly could because we were starving.  My girlfriend directed the driver to take us where the locals go for breakfast and we were off.

Upon walking into the place, two emotions immediately took over my body: 1. This place is real local 2. What the fuck are we supposed to do?

A complete sensory overload.

Individual stalls with lines in front of it like this:

But everyone is holding a ticket? Ah OK, you’re supposed to pay up front first, then take the tickets and get in line individually to collect your order.

Each window also has a specific set of condiments, so now it’s getting real serious.

After about 5 minutes of messing around and me ruining our breakfast this is what the result is.  A bean gelatin of some sort, two kinds of fry bread, a tea egg, a dumpling, savory soy milk (that I ruined with some chili oil), a red bean-sesame-sticky rice napoleon, and this super popular pasty porridge called Miancha.  It’s a wheaty porridge topped with a sesame syrup of sorts.  Apparently you’re supposed to sip it around the rim until the syrup is gone, then get another ladle of syrup.  We really fucked that up too.  Regardless of the correctness of our process, the meal was interesting, eye-opening, and really really cheap.  I really want to give this another shot and not suck at it.

Nan Luo Gu Xiang Zha Jiang Mian from this hole-in-the-wall shop

We also ordered some preserved egg soaking in black vinegar and topped with ginger.  The dish to the left was another popular noodle style that’s a lot wetter, more pasta-like variant.  The preserved egg in this style is always a hit.  Both noodles dishes were special in their own sense.  One was heavier and more complex with a stew-like meat sauce slopped in.  The Zha Jiang Mian was not what I expected.  I thought it would be something closer to a DDM, but this was fresher.  A lot of snap and crisp from the julienned veggies.  A must whilst in Beijing.

Grilled Lamb and Sausage from this Hawker Stand

I always love Uyghur-influenced grilled things on skewers.  I just wish I had some beers.

Hot Pot at Hai Di Lao

Some cucumbers and tomatoes to diffuse the fire in between bites

Yin and yang.  Fire and corn? Both broths were INSANELY flavorful.  Dimensions, depth, and crazy development in both soups.  Some serious stuff.

The crazy sauce bar

I also ordered a Harbin Beer, but they threw cucumbers in it?

The spread, pretty standard but everything was just on point.

We also added the infamous dancing noodle at the end.  A ridiculous deal for 2 bucks.  A guy comes to your table in all white and hand pulls a noodle while dancing to the music of your choice, absolutely sick.  What a ridiculously great meal. Everything was on point.  After this meal, I come to find out there’s one in the 626!  It probably isn’t as good, but I must try.

4/25/16

This spread at a work lunch

The supplier wanted to put us to sleep at lunch because this spread was real serious. Steamed fish, Gai Lan, Green Onion Pancakes, Sweet Fried Pork (probably a dish ordered to appease us soft Americans), bamboo shoots, stir fried lamb in scallions, stir fried chicken in scallions, soup, house made soft tofu, pan fried green onion cakes, fried and steamed shrimp, and the weirdest thing of all: No rice!?  How does a restaurant run like this?  Proper execution on EVERY dish?  Amazing.  The food culture here is starting to grow on me...

“Beijing Barbecue” at this local spot

The concept is simple. The front of the restaurant is a full-fledged meat market.  You pick out what you want, a host takes it down and it gets grilled and brought to your table

Scallops, oysters, grubs, and shrimp.

All the regular meats

The shroom station

The veg

The local craft beer!

The fucking hand-pulled noodle station, half chubs.

Mouthwatering Chicken

Absolutely killer.  It’ll also light your mouth on fire if you’re not careful.  Cold chicken, chilis, scallion whites, Szechuan Peppercorns, and more.  It requires some elbow grease to dig out a piece of chicken, but when you finally find one and harvest the 2 threads of meat and/or skin, it’ll be totally worth it.

Beef Noodle

Not a typical dish ordered at this meal apparently, but I don’t care.  This shit was good.  The noodle texture was on point, the thickness was consistent, beef was still tender, and the soup had me going back for more after every spoonful.  Great touch on the seasoning.

Baked Scallop with Noodles

Small apps of scallops stir-fried with some cellophane noodles and dropped back on the half-shell. 

Ong Choy and Enoki Mushrooms

I think they ordered this because I requested some veg, but these light and dry stir-fried preparations were clutch.

Grilled Squid

1 huge cuttlefish chopped up, skewered, seasoned, and lightly scorched on the grill.  A bit chewy, but still tasty.

Chicken Wings

Butterflied Fish, Lamb, Chicken, Chicken Gizzards, Chicken Hearts

A lot of classics, can’t-go-wrongs at the top of this picture.  The fish was presented beautifully.  Butterflied down the back, flattened out, then grilled.  The seasoning was salty and spicy, great with beer.

4/27/16 Chaoyang This Sweet and Sour Szechuan Fish Thing from Some Big Company Banquet Dinner

Besides the fact that the species of the fish was a complete mystery to me, everything about this dish was perfection.  The presentation was crazy.  The prep must take forever for every one of these they need to pump out.  Debone, skin, butterfly, and then crosshatch each fillet into bite-sized morsels before you bread, fry, and sauce.  The fry was impossibly crispy, even after a healthy drenching of a thick pineapple-based sauce.  What a great American Palate-friendly dish, yea that’s probably why I love it.  

4/28/16

Gui Jie Fried Whole Squid at some Kiosk

These were found everywhere that was even remotely touristy and I resisted a few times already, but I had to do it this time.  It came out really nice, but it was essentially the same profile as most other fried Chinese drinking snacks.  A heavy dose of sweet potato flour, a hard fry, and then dusted with five-spice salt.  Chilli powder is optional.  The squid itself was still a bit chewy since it was so large, but this is very similar to the small squid tentacles found at any milk tea cafe.

Donkey Burger

The place only had a few words of English, but they all pointed to the words “Donkey Burger”.  What was the actual protein stuffed inside this crispy bun?  Shit I don’t know but it tasted real funky.  Not sure if it was the seasoning or the protein itself but it was quite strange.  Funk and gaminess that my tongue was just completely confused by.  But was it good?  Hell yea, the bun had a crunch that resembled a scallion pancake.  The meat was tender and well seasoned through a stew. I just wish there was a nice pickle to cut it.

 Fried Intestines from this kiosk

After some research, I found out the words on the stand said fried intestines, but this was by far the shadiest thing I’ve ever attempted to eat.  Walking up to the stand, the guy pulled the pieces of meat(?) out of a pot from the hidden shadows, then threw them on a large flat wok heated by a small propane burner.  He collected money, fried, collected orders, and served all by himself.  The biggest attraction for me was the large group that gravitated towards this guy.  After I put in my order, I realize he’s backed up at least 6 covers (more than his wok can produce in 1 batch).  So I waited patiently.  When It was finally my turn, I watched him throw them onto a plastic clamshell, then dress it with a garlic vinegar.  I can’t say it was worth the wait, nor was it the best thing I’ve eaten on this trip but it was undeniably tasty.  A bit heavy, a touch chewy, a little greasy, and a lot of crunchy.  No way I would say no if it was next to an ice cold beer.

4/29/16

Lunch at a random mall cafe

Another Chinese Burger

The bun wasn’t as crispy and light on this one, but the filling tasted more like a protein that I'm familiar with.  Something that doesn’t smell like it got scraped off the side of the road.

Zha Jiang Mian with handpulled noodles

Holy shit this was fantastic.  This might have been my favorite thing all trip.  Thick chewy noodles.  Light stewy broth.  Perfectly stewed pork.  Fiery chili oil cut with some pickles and cucumbers.  Beautiful balance of flavors and textures.

Crazy mess of a delicious soup

This soup had everything: handpulled noodles, tofu skin, cellophane noodles, cilantro, cabbage, pork, leafy tripe, chili oil, and a deep numbing broth brewed for hours.  Great stuff.

Chili Dumplings

Oh man, this is the stuff.  One of my favorite things ever.  Huge boulders of ground pork wrapped in a blanket of chewy dumpling skin bathed in a hot lava of soy, scallions, dried and fresh chilis.  I ate all but one of these suckers.

A mind-blowing meal from a random cafe at the mall?  Either this was a jackpot or the food standards in Beijing are in the right place.

Sanlitung Jian Bing from this cart

Stumbling around Sanlitung drunk, I was looking for a clear spot to call my Uber to head home, but then I saw this aura radiating from a woman and a tiny food cart. A drunk’s oasis.

 Holy fuck, it’s a Jian Bing cart! I threw up a prayer to the drunk gods and they answered with this mainland special.

First a layer of batter for the base.  Then goes an egg spread evenly around the entire base.  The filling began with green lettuce, cilantro, onions, scallions, pickles, seasonings, hoisin? and a crispy bread cracker thing.  Wrapped and thrown in a bag

I have crossed over into a new realm of drunk eats.  This is on a stage of its own.  The complexity of flavors combined with the layers of different textures justifies any drunken tongue burn.  There are a few guys trying to do this in the states, but nothing beats spontaneously running into this cart after a thorough inebriation caused by 12 beers.  Severely underrated.