#god i hope this isnt weird and cringey

[lost-in-interwebs]

Every time I see a fallout game use the word junkie, it's like a really swift jab to your face. It hits you really fast. Fallout.... and drug use and drug users has never been a very accurate picture. Thats a really generalized statement because I don't feel comfortable talking about my history and my history alone does not encompass the scope of the entire experience of being an addict, but I think there could be something infinitely more compelling if Fallout had treated drug use with nuance. Addiction is treated very lightly. You get it, it's annoying, you take a drug or go to a clinic and you're fixed permanently. (That's not with all fallout games mind you.) And that's because you have the money for it! Most people don't. Using the MC is a bad example because obviously you're a super being for the sake of game play, but with the npcs you run into the problem of drug users being immediately labeled as a "junkie", shady, or raider, the character in question jerks around, acts completely out of it, and is usually there for a laugh at their expense. Or they're a shady drug dealer who doesn't care who they fuck over, or a band of merciless raiders who commit atrocities across the Wasteland. Its only showing the worst of what drug use can do. Which is fine, I get it, the horrors of war, but even in trying to convey drug use in a sympathetic light, Fallout misses the mark. There's a genuine sadness, a hollowness when you use. Its to fill a desperate, deserved need you cannot have fulfilled and that's never been discussed, never been touched upon in more detail. Sure with Cait it had its moments. Abuse, trauma, a job in fighting. All compelling points in bringing more nuance to the picture of who a drug user is and why you would use, but its your love that saves her, it's a machine and serum that save her, a magical cure. The game proposes that she's sick of it and only uses now to control the withdrawals and yeah a serum would be a great way to speed up and ease the process, but what's to stop her when she spirals? What healthy coping mechanisms does she have to help her if it all goes to shit? Oh don't worry your love/friendship will save her. Why can't she save herself? She's the only one who really can. Wouldn't it be more meaningful if you watched as Cait learned to love herself and find satisfaction in what that brings and cutting back taking awhile, the relapses, but she gets better each time she falls cause she's a fighter. Its not perfect, but it's progress. You initiate the romance when she's cured. You cannot love her as a human being in recovery. She will always be in recovery and there's no shame in that. But it's genuinely sad that we are seen as heinous, a joke, or unlovable until recovered by this series. It's a joke game, but it really wasn't. You can tell a good story. You can have a meaningful moment in a "funny" game. Idk... just some thoughts.

[yioh]

Hey Yura! You've been reblogging posts on what looks really good wlw mangas lately and I'm dying for some good recommendations (especially since u have great taste🌸🌸)! Could you maybe list what you're reading (or watching) and what vibe each story has?

Hope you're having a great day and I'm sending lots of love your way!!!

hi hiii !!! sorry for taking so long to reply >_< i wanted to properly write an answer and then i .. never found time aaaaaaaa but here are my faves !!!!

relationship guidelines - this one is a manhwa about these 2 girls who have been friends since they were born !!! myeong in is aloof and rarely shows her emotions and is 'cold hearted' and ji won is cute and quirky and super flirty and overall a dumbass 101, somehow they find themselves kissing eachother and their relationship becomes ........ something they cant seem to understand themselves jsdhdkjh, i rly love this manhwa its so funny and so pretty and the characters r so fun and relatable its so lovely !!!! the pacing is so good too

not so shoujo love story - fellas this one . this one is SO good omfg its the funniest webtoon ever like the humour is just complete crack kldhkjh, its abt a 'delinquent' girl called rei who is in love w her senior (called ...ochinchin ... because... he has a massive chin..) and she rly rly wants ur typical shoujo style romance, only, plot twist the one whos in love w her isnt the cool popular senpai guy (who might be ??an alien??) but the perfect pretty vice president hanna !!!! its SO so cute also super slowburn and SO wholesome , also theres so much tension between hanna and rei i dshjsdhfh, the art style is GORGEOUS and the writing is amazing and i just . its a masterpiece pls read it, altho its hilarious its also ... so gentle and so loving i :')

she is still cute today - a slice of life abt wholesome puppy qi lin who is kinda an outcast and how she befriends a girl called cang shu, someone who prioritises her grades over everything else, to the point she barely has a life. its a story abt how they positively influence eachothers lives for the better and heal with eachother through their simple everyday school life(also mega mega mega slowburn, theyre friends rn but also ... gfs somehow lol)  :) its v funny ad cute and pretty also theres a bonus mlm side couple that r rly funny lol, they have a rly gay friendship group and its SO cute and wholesome 

tamen de gushi - i havent caught up w this in ages rip sdhjdsh but its just a cute slice of life abt 2 girls who befriend eachother and one of them has a HUGEEEEEE crush on the other, v v v v wholesome !!!!

still sick! - oh my god . this one is a masterpiece..... its a manga that revolves around shimizu, this super dorky girl that has a secret hobby of drawing doujinshi of her fave wlw ships lmao, and her work place colleague, maekawa, finds out about her secret hobby and barges into her everyday life and changes it in a way that she'll never expect ! from the synopsis it sounds p average but god the LAYERS this manga has . it deals w burn outs and love for drawings and has such wonderful characterisation and writing and the characters r so vibrant and fun and !!!!! the romance !!!!! they r so so so cute like i genuinely got butterflies at this kssdhkjdsh

soulmate - this manhua is so unique !! so its abt this girl who switches body w her teenage self, so she gets to experience falling in love with her lover all over again whilst her teenage self finds herself, 27 years old, and dating a girl ????!!! it deals with regret and first love and loneliness and dreams and just . i was v cautious abt this one because it could get weird but it was so beautiful and respectful and so .. melancholy and yet cute and joyful... the art is also so pretty !!!

bloom into you - this one’s an anime and its about a girl called yuu who believes she isn’t capable of falling in love even though she always longed to have that feeling, and then she meets her senpai, touko. somehow they get into a relationship where they brush hands and kiss secretly in the student council room after school and know all of eachothers secrets, touko tells her not to fall in love with her and yet yuu... doesn’t even understand her own feelings. ok as for vibes, its just TENDER tender TE n d er and . sad and it will make u so touch starved oh my god. its a very beautiful story and the soundtrack, colours and general vibe of the story is so nice and the characters r so freaking well written u will melt, i rly rly love this anime alot lmao its one of the very few romance anime i really adore, it doesn’t feel cringey at all and all the characters feel so painfully real ? its so good !!!!!!!!!!

that time I was blackmailed by the class’ green tea bitch - ok ok ik the title sounds wack but this is actually one of my faves rn, it’s just the softest cutest high school love story and it’s the perfect amount of funny and adorable and the art is also super cute and the relationship with the mc and her mum is so cute I’m 🥺 also it goes into other topics like academic pressure and loneliness (not too deeply tho) and it’s just a v good read … as of now it’s ongoing and has 17 chapters :)

i have some more i havent read yet :’) but these ones r 10/10 i hope u enjoy them !!! 

[gendryw4ters-blog]

writers meme!!! 31-40 (hehehehe)

ash oh my gosh ily THANK YOU (but also some of these were tough as heck omg ahah)

31: Do you take liberties with canon or are you very strict about your fic being canon compliant?i take a looooot of liberties i think? which is why i always tend to write modern aus, because i feel like it’s less bad for me to do so in those instances. not that taking liberties with canon-canon is bad, but i do worry a lot about getting things spot on because ive been in fandoms before where cocking up a canon fact could get you a raft of “yOU DONT KNOW A DAMN THING”s and yknow what? i dont know a damn thing but i dont need to be called out on that tyvm

however! since hbowar is an awful lot more chill and lovely, i have found myself delving into more canon-era writing than i ever thought i would, which is lovely! and whilst sticking to canon is still something i try and do my best with, i don’t mind mixing things up a little bit with it either as much as i used to!

32: How do you feel about smut?i dont wanna get too weird and intense and personal here, but i have an incredibly complicated relationship with smut. it’s primarily to do with The Past, and because it still lingers around me a lot, so do the complications. having said that! things are a lot better than they were then (my bf isn’t an addict OR a controlling asshole like it was, for starters), so i feel… less bad about reading it than i did? “less bad” isnt the wording i want for that, i think less weird is better maybe? either way! i still read it and tbh i kind of like reading it too but it’s usually just for the aesthetics and also! the feelings. i love feelings.

i personally don’t write smut! for the reasons listed earlier but also a) in case anyone i know in real life ever stumbled across it, b) im not somebody who’s particularly interested in sex myself so it’s like- it feels a bit bizarre writing it sometimes, and c) i can’t write it for shit. i genuinely cannot. i think about it. i have headcanons about it (ron speirs is UNREAL at oral, for instance). but i can’t write it, and so i don’t. no hate to anyone that does though!! i think it’s a wonderful thing.

33: How do you feel about crack?you’re asking this of the lady who superimposes the faces of easy company onto farmers for a living, i’d just like to remind you of that ;)

i looove it. i love it. i’ll admit that i sometimes find some of it a little bit cringey (less so in the hbowar fandom but like! back in the anime days. oh god. i have seen and read some shit in my time). but for the most part! it’s something i adore, cause its just really nice to have fun, yknow? it’s like the spice girls luztoye stuff i did- that’s arguably cracky, i think? but it’s a lot of fun to write! and it can sometimes be a sweet bit of relief amongst the oh-so-beautiful and yet utterly gut-wrenching angst we have here too ahah

34: What are your thoughts on non-con and dub-con?non-con is an absolute no go for me. that goes kind of without saying.

dub-con is also a no go for the most part except like- okay, im going to give a personal example of this because it’s the best way i can explain how i feel about it;

last night, i was pretty drunk. not completely out of it, can barely walk, is absolutely not able to think or fend for herself in any way drunk, but still pretty drunk. my bf (who was sober and who is also an angel) came to walk me home for extra safety, and we kissed a couple times cause yknow- i love him and he’s got a very smoochable face. now i know that can sometimes be seen as dub-con perhaps because one party was drunk, however! i was still able to think and act for myself, and i was fully consenting (i remember doing so clearly, and also we’re in a pretty tactile relationship where those kinds of things are just a given)- so dub-con in that sense, then yeah im okay with that. 

however, anything more than kissing, or stuff where one person has said yes but only after a hefty amount of persuasion, or anything else that isn’t an explicit “yes, i WOULD like to do this with you”, then yeah- that’s a no go.

35: Would you ever kill off a canon character?yeah!! i have done before in fact (though never in hbowar writing- however i do plan on it with this pacific idea i have muhahaha). for the angst, innit?

36:Which is your favorite site to post fic?ao3 for sure!! i used to use ff dot net, and im pretty sure my old account is still floating about on there too (thankfully a completely different username to any of my current ones lmao), but i love ao3 a lot and it’s so much more efficient and wonderful and it makes interactions with other writers a little easier. also! the format is sooo much nicer oh my gosh

37: Talk about your current wips.oh gosh i have so many!! im currently working on some playlist prompts i got the other day, that were just supposed to be playlists but i ended up writing ficlets for too. there’s a farm/webgott one (that’s pretty long!), a baberoe, a luztoye, and then a buck/malarkey one that im curious about doing since ive not written for them before.

outside of the prompts! im working on a luztoye twin peaks but not really twin peaks kind of thing, and some baberoe stuff, and a couple of other drabbles ive had in my drafts for a very long time too!!

38: Talk about a review that made your day.oh gosh this just reminded me of all the super sweet comments i was supposed to reply to but i havent been on ao3 in a while (logged in i mean) and keep forgetting to! i’ll have to get around to that soon!!

each and every single review i get brightens up my day a lot! it means the world that people take the time to read my stuff and leave comments and each one means so so much more to me than i think i could ever really get into writing. so thank you!! thank you

this one from an anon called Lynn, this is one of my favourites ever- it just warms me right up to know that someone’s rereading fics and getting the same amount of joy out of them that i get from writing them; especially with take my hand, cause that’s one that i still think about a lot when im upset and it always cheers me up a little!

39: Do you ever get rude reviews and how do you deal with them?luckily! ive never really gotten any rude reviews and im really appreciative of that- though i feel like this is generally because the hbowar family for the most part is one of the most mature and respectful fandoms around, something that never gets old to me!

40: Write an alternative ending to [insert fic title] (or just the summary of one). okay so!! you said Scar Tissue for this one, and i guess a summary of an alternative ending for this one would be that they would kiss!! because they didn’t kiss in the original and i kind of wish they had done but at the same time i didnt want to rush things. the fic would be longer, and they would kiss, and george would open up to joe a little too since there are a lot of things i think george has going on that he doesn’t really talk about either- things im hoping to explore in a different fic in the future (key word being hoping) !

thanks soo much for the ask bab!! and sorry for rambling so much ahah, i hope some of it makes sense!! love ya!!

[ravenspacemaker]

since im done with bb19 and came to the good side (aka cbb20) lets start new

so here are some of my thoughts on the cbb20 housemates

amelia lily: amelia’s kinda irrelevant in the house to me. her relationship with chad was cute and all but besides that i barely see her and i didnt even notice her until like a week ago. i think she could probably win considering she seems well-liked and inoffensive.

brandi glanville: brandi was really annoying me in the beginning of the game but i just dont really care about her anymore. she hasnt really been doing anything recently i think, and i feel like if she doesnt upset anyone shes just eventually gonna evicted somewhere towards the middle of the game.

chad johnson: originally i hated chad but i dont have anything against him anymore. he seems like hes actually a nice guy but his brand is just based on being a cocky douchebag. the relationship with amelia was cute and all but idk if thats dead considering she nominated him (i havent watched the ep where they nominate so that was probably explained and i just didnt see it yet).

derek acorah: derek is one of the expendable old housemates who does nothing but is there for the demographic i suppose. i dont really like him but i dont have anything against him. i personally find mediums and psychics and all that to be bullshit so i kinda didnt like him from the beginning because of that, but idk he does nothing to make me hate him. i dont like how hes ofc gonna end up going far just because hes inoffensive though.

helen lederer: helen’s in the same boat as derek, i dont care about her. im kinda disappointed in her though because shes a comedian so i expected her to be more entertaining.

jemma lucy: jemma definitely seems crazy. im american and we dont really have a reality tv culture like the uk does, like here reality tv is most often reserved for people who are already established so we dont really get to see the whole jemma/jordan/sam type whose careers are basically just getting on reality tv shows and being hot messes, so those types really fascinate me. i would prob hate jemma but again, her type fascinates me so i kinda like her. plus her background is interesting to me.

jordan davies: jordan is similar to what i said about jemma, like his whole type just fascinates me. originally i liked jordan more than sam, but now i like sam more because jordan nominated trisha and i dont take that lightly. i still lowkey like him a little bit but hes gone way further down. also i find him really attractive sorry.

karthik nagesan: someone evict him already dear god. im fairly confident hes gonna get evicted tonight but who knows. he annoys me everytime he opens his mouth and hes a real sad excuse for a celebrity. he seems like he knows that he has to be interesting to get airtime but is trying so hard to be interesting that he doesnt know what hes doing. i dont like paul but the racist thing was so just weird to me. like he calls paul racist, then says he was joking, then everybody is like it was a misunderstanding karthik misheard him and thats why he was offended. so, he wasnt joking then? he did think paul was being racist? idk idc i just dont like karthik.

marissa jade: marissa was so fake it was annoying. her relationship with jordan made me uncomfortable but i didnt really dislike her or anything until i saw her eating that pizza. like how desperate for attention can u be. she was literally like moaning it was so disturbing. i hope thats why she got evicted. not gonna miss her, although she was pretty ngl.

paul danan: god i hate paul. theres literally something with the name paul like idk why but that name is cursed. first p*ul abrahamian and now paul danan. ik a guy named paul irl too and i hate him. but seriously paul is horrible and hes such a snake. him trying to fit in with jordan and sam is so cringey too, like dude ur 40 something stop acting like ur in ur 20s its embarrassing.

sam thompson: i hated sam in the beginning but hes gone up on my list. i like how him and trisha are getting along better now, i really hope he isnt just fucking with her though. hes really cute and probably the type of guy id normally be into (i love blonds and im always attracted to the jackass type ik its horrible). but again same thing with jemma and jordan, the british reality tv personality is just so fascinating to my american self.

sandi bogle: originally i thought sandi was gonna be fun and entertaining, but shes really become just another derek/helen/shaun and i dont really care about her. she looked hot af during the premiere but she just doesnt do anything. i feel like she might even win just because of how inoffensive she is, but thats so boring cmon i want drama.

sarah harding: sarah was one of the few i knew before the show (along with amelia [only because i got her confused with a different singer with the name lily and ended up finding her], brandi [never saw her show though], and trisha [ofc]), and i had always heard she was like the party girl/hot mess of girls aloud, so thats what i was kinda expecting. however, in the house shes more of like a woe-is-me pity party type of girl. its just getting really tiring. i hate how she seems really popular too because id rather her outside of the house. also its kinda awkward seeing her trying to hide the fact that cheryl hates her. 

shaun williamson: theres nothing even to say about shaun. he does absolutely nothing and the thoughts i have on him are the same as derek/helen/sandi. 

trisha paytas: the queen herself. honestly people can keep nominating her because she has more insta followers than all of them so i really dont see her getting evicted this early. it pissed me off sfm when paul was questioning her fame because shes literally more relevant than he is. cant wait until theyre all out of the house and can look her up to see how shocked they all are. i love trisha but i hate seeing how depressed she seems to be in the house considering how excited she seemed to be before she moved in. hopefully things get better for her, and as much as idk if its possible id love to see her win.