#god i had sooo many ideas for writing but like. its so hard lmao!

[uberoll-oystercrackers]

so it’s come to this...

[coldflasher]

Answer the Questions and Tag 5 Fanfic Authors

Tagged by @kitkatt0430 and @softboydepot - Thank you both for the tag :D

1. How did you get into writing fanfiction?

So I was about 13 years old, I was scrolling through my brand new One Direction tumblr, username "its-a-1d-world", soon to become "curly-and-boobear-stylinson", a harrowing username that genuinely makes me shiver like someone just walked over my grave. Like I'm sure this means nothing to someone who wasn't in the fandom AND an extreme larrie but let me tell you. Imagine the most intensely cringe superwholock url you could have. It's on that level

And I remember seeing what we would soon come to very derisively refer to as a "harry het fic" on my dash. So like, in 1D fandom, you had your standard self-insert Y/N fics, you had the queer RPF where you were shipping the boys with each other, and then you had the "het fics", which is where someone would make up a female character for one of the boys (usually Harry bc that man had and still has an insane chokehold on teenage girls everywhere) to date. If anyone has had the misfortune to read and/or watch After by Anna Todd... that type of deal

ANYWAYS I was totally unaware of fanfic as a concept, which is quite funny because as a little baby writer I'd been writing extremely derivative pseudo-fanfic for quite a few years by that point, like stories inspired by Young Dracula or Narnia or whatever without really knowing what it was. But this Harry het fic floated across my dash and a little switch went in my brain because I was like WAIT. I COULD BE WRITING STORIES ABOUT THE BOYS?? Like this was so exciting to me because writing is like probably my biggest eternal special interest and One Direction was my like, most intense special interest at the time, so I was like WAIT. I CAN COMBINE THESE THINGS. And also PEOPLE WILL READ THEM AND COMMENT ON THEM and I was sooo convinced I was god's gift to writing at the time so I was like well OBVIOUSLY everyone will read MY fics and I'll get super fandom famous instantly.

So I wrote an incredibly terrible Harry het one shot with an original character and literally got crickets. Nobody read it. Very embarrassing. I think I wrote a handful of these and nobody wanted to know, which is fair enough because I'm sure they were very bad. But THEN I was like okay fine, well everyone is obsessed with Larry, including me (though I very much liked it in a "bromance" way at the time, so I'll write a Larry fic instead. This is Louis and Harry for the uninitiated. It was the biggest fandom ship. We shipped all and every configuration of the boys but Larry and Ziam were the hard hitters. I think I wrote a few different one shots for various pairings but then I did my first Larry multi-chapter

ANYHOO the Larry fic was a big hit, I got all the outpouring of compliments and attention that my enormous thirteen-year-old head was convinced I deserved and that was kind of it really lmao. I was hooked. When I tell you I'd update my fics MULTIPLE TIMES A DAY because I was writing so fast and so obsessively, like god idk what the fuck was going on in my head but it was the greatest high I have ever experienced in my life. I also got incredibly deeply involved in the conspiracy theory about Louis and Harry's secret gay relationship and spent the next five years of my life tinhatting obsessively but that's a whole other story

2. How many fandoms have you written in?

In terms of what I've posted to AO3, only a handful—as mentioned, I started off in the One Direction fandom, I've written for The Flash and Legends, and dabbled in Doctor Who. In terms of fandoms I've written little bits for but never shared... so many lmao, the list (as far as I can recall) includes the following:

Batwoman, Supergirl, The Bold Type, The Devil Wears Prada, Once Upon a Time, Supernatural, Torchwood, Twilight, X-Men, and bizarrely, The Witcher, apparently??? I have ZERO memory of that, but it's in my fanfic folder. No idea what that was about

3. How many years have you been writing fanfiction?

I think I started in 2011/early 2012, so upward of a decade at this point... eesh.

4. Do you read or write more fanfiction?

Definitely write. I do want to read more fic, but I have a hard time choosing what to read and I am very bad at using AO3's search functions to find what I want.

5. What is one way you’ve improved as a writer?

I've finally started finishing shit!! Big moment for me lmao

6. What’s the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

I read an entire book on public defenders for a fic where Barry becomes a public defender instead of a CSI. I own a copy of a book called Forensics for Dummies which I'm slowly working my way through for fic reasons... I feel like none of these are that weird lmao

7. What’s your favourite type of comment to receive on your work?

Who doesn't love the mega long comments pulling out random lines the reader liked to yell about them. I sometimes get so excited reading these comments that I lose sleep over it lmao i love them so much

8. What’s the most fringe trope/topic you write about?

Lmaoo this is a very odd one but I once wrote a Larry Stylinson fic where Harry was Slenderman and he was haunting Louis, and either Zayn or Liam was like a Van Helsing type who was trying to hunt Slenderman!Harry down and kill him. Or maybe it was Nick Grimshaw, the at the time host of the BBC1 radio breakfast show. He was the go-to fandom villain at the time

I never finished it but that was a cool time, someone in the fandom actually composed an instrumental piano piece inspired by Slenderman!Harry which is up there with the coolest things that have ever happened to me

In general I don't know if I necessarily go that fringe. I feel like it's somewhat obvious I have a bit of a thing for femdom, and also like. Coldwest/coldwestallen in general lmao, I guess that's fringe-ish

9. What is the hardest type of story for you to write?

Funnily enough probably pwp. I feel like smut is generally considered to be just an easy fun time but I feel like my line-editing process is not conducive to smut writing thing because I write the first draft in a haze of feral horny energy and then edit and revise it over and over to the point where I no longer find it sexy at all and am unable to tell whether it's even still hot or if I've totally killed the vibe in my quest to find the most poetic way of describing the way people fuck nasty. It's very frustrating ngl

10. What is the easiest type?

None of them. This is such a cop-out but everything I write is hard because I'm an insane perfectionist and everything HAS to be beautifully crafted so at this point everything is hard. But ngl I find multichapters easiest to draft in some ways just cos I can kinda cling to the high of "ooh a new idea" whilst also contributing to the same project because the "new ideas" are just new chapters, if that makes sense? It's fitting them all together that's the hard part lmao

11. Where do you do your writing? What platform? When?

I use a combination of Microsoft Word, Scrivener, and a notes app on my phone called Penzu, which is where I scribble down all the random snippets and ideas and bits and bobs that come to me during the day. The bulk of my drafting and editing is done in Word and I basically only use Scrivener for its notecard function where you can move scenes around really easily, and then I transfer everything back into Word because of Tracked Changes. Does Scrivener have that? Probably. Scrivener has everything

12. What is something you’ve been too nervous/intimidated to write, but would love to write one day?

Honestly it's never really a case of "too nervous/intimidated" because I genuinely have never encountered an idea where I was like "hmm idk if I can pull it off", I have extreme faith in my own capabilities to an almost delusional level lmao, it's always just "I do not have time". But I do have this extremely long Coldwestallen fic that's inspired by Hades and Persephone, with Barry as Persephone, Len as Hades, and Iris as a soooort of Demeter figure which i know is weird because Demeter is Persephone's mother, but whatever, she more embodies the familial connection of the whole team rather than being an actual blood relative if that makes sense

So the concept is basically Barry as Persephone spending half his time with Len and the Rogues in the criminal underworld (I thought I was so clever for that one lmao) and the rest with Team Flash, and then the lines blur and it becomes coldwestallen-y eventually, but it's soooo long and basically split into four novels that I have written between 25 and 50k for each. It's gonna take me literal YEARS to tackle this thing so I've kinda put it on hold for now but I miss it so much

13. What made you choose your username?

So I wrote a joke in a fic that I genuinely have no idea whether I even posted it or not, it might have been in Aftermath. But basically Barry's suit gets blown up and he gets photographed literally streaking through the city totally nude (you can't see anything bc he's moving too fast but you can tell he ain't wearing any clothes lmao) and there's a newspaper headline that's like "THE FLASHER???" Let me tell you I was very annoyed the other day when I learned they already made that joke on Supergirl

And then I just added "cold" for Len lmao

[writer-in-theory]

payback is a bitch. im payback - all of them.

you know...i should've seen this coming.

who is/are your comfort character(s)? well fuck. um, luna lovegood, alec lightwood, spencer reid, billy hargrove to name just a few

lighter or matches? LIGHTER. oh my god i hate matches. i use them for labs all the time and for some reason everyone around me is terrified of them so i end up lighting about 12 bunsen burners on the fucking daily.

do you leave the window open at night? FUCK NO. but i also live on the ground floor in the middle of the city, so you know.

which cryptyd being do you believe in? MOTHMAN MOTHMAN MOTHMAN. also there's a cryptid like 5 minutes from my hometown that i'll message you about on discord so i dont literally dox myself.

what color are your eyes? green !! i also have central heterochromia so there's some gold around the center in a ring.

why did you do that? i mean the usual answer is bc im a chaotic bitch lmao.

hair-ties or scrunchies? scrunchies !! i have thick curly hair and elastics leave bad indents in it

how many water bottles are in your room right now? none. coke bottles? twelve.

which do you prefer, hot coffee or cold coffee? cold what the fuck is there another answer?? although when i'm walking to class and its cold as shit outside, hot ig but only for survival purposes.

would you slaughter the rich? eat the rich fuck yeah buddy.

favorite extracurricular activity? laying on the floor blasting music in my ears at maximum volume to stop thinky. but also writing, ig.

what kind of day is it? well i depression napped for 7 hours today then woke up only to actually freak the fuck out about a fic i posted earlier in the day sooo

when was the last time you ate? around 7 sooo five hours ago ish??

do you love the smell of earth after it rains? thats one of my favorite smells of all time. i also love the smell in the air right before it rains

are you a parent? (all answers qualify) fuck no im not qualified enough for that

can you drive? noooope. im trying but its very hard :c

are you farsighted or nearsighted? nearsighted and i have astigmatisms

what hair products do you use? god so many. leave-in, mousse, curl cream, oil, and on some days a bit of gel

imagine we’re at a sleepover, would you paint my nails? hell yeah i love painting nails. i used to do nail art !!

do you say soda or pop? soda soda soda soda-

something you’ve kept since childhood? i have a penguin stuffie my grandparents got for me as a kid. it's gone everywhere, to all vacations and everything. i also have a little note from my first boyfriend from when i was like 8 or 9. he told me i was pretty and that everything would be okay and its just so innocent and sweet i had to keep it.

what type of person are you? an angry one who has no idea what they're doing 97% of the time

how do you feel about chilly weather? i hate it. i hate it so much. i love fall clothes but i hate being cold and i hate ice and i hate snow.

if we were together on a rooftop, what would we be doing? drinking and sharing stories probably. i used to love climbing out onto my rooftop and drinking cheap whiskey with people.

perfume/body spray or lotion? i can't say both?? but fine, i can't live without my cerave so lotion.

a scenario that you’ve replayed multiple times? whenever i get upset i imagine what a first book signing would look like if i can publish a popular book. it replays a lot lmao

about how many hours of sleep did you get? last night? none.

do you wear a mask? YES YES YES. i'm immunocompromised like fuck so always.

how do you like your shower water? hot as fuck. i better be burning and i better look like a lobster when im done.

is there dishes in your room? nope. i leave bottles but my line is dishes that had food on them.

what type of music keeps you grounded? sad music or anything with sounds that scratches the brain nice

do you have a favorite towel? nah not really i have cheap ass towels so idc

the last adventure you’ve been on? i went to ikea?

is there a song you know every word to by heart? oh so many. there's this irish folk song that has an important meaning to me that ive known the words to since forever.

what’s your timezone? eastern !!

how many times have you changed your url? none, surprisingly. i just really love the one i came up with first i feel like it perfectly captures me

someone in your life, other than a relative, you’ve known for 10+ years? yep!! i have an internet friend that i've known for exactly 10 years now.

a soap bar that smells good? i have one that's sandalwood and vanilla that im in love with

do you use lip balm? yes constantly. burt's bees!!

did you have any snacks today? yeee i had gushers and cheetos.

how do you take your coffee? if i'm making it at home i put a bit of creamer in it then hazelnut syrup, usually.

an app you frequently use besides this godforsaken site? i feel like im on discord constantly anymore

what’s your take on spicy foods? i'm...so bad. i cant handle spicy at all which is so tragic. like it's embarrassing and laughable lmao.

you get a free pass to kill anyone, who is it? he knows who he is.

can you remember what happened yesterday? uhh i worked, went to ikea, then talked Tea with cj and serenity lmao

favorite holiday film? okay im a bitch for cheesy romcoms. i love the holidate, holidays in handcuffs, and if we're going not romcom then the nightmare before christmas.

what was the last message you sent?

when did you first try an alcohol beverage? i was very young when i had my first sip. but my first whole drink on my own? i was sixteen.

can you skip rocks? yesss that was like a must growing up where i was. easy way to pass the time, you know?

can i tag you in random stuff? always.

[aethernoise]

fanfic writer questions

Thank you for tagging me @autumnslance​ . I’m in a weird mood about my writing tonight so maybe some self-reflection will help!

(answered on 8/27/2021)

How many works do you have on Ao3?

Just 9, but one of them has 46 chapters

What’s your total Ao3 wordcount?

106,499

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

That’s I Damn Well Mean to Try in the very strong lead followed by Mortal Instants. Tiles & Yours, are next and feel like cheating because they’re actually included as chapters in DW but were published on their own first. Number 5 is Beholden which is pretty cool, I didn’t know it made top 5 until now.

lots more blabbing about writing below the cut

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do most of the time but sometimes not for months, which I feel really bad about lol. I want to reply to everyone because I want them to know how much I appreciate them even taking the time to say something regardless of coherence. I think Mortal Instants was one I fell really behind on replying too mostly because 99% of the comments came in like all in the same day when Nipuni recommended it on her blog lmao

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Mortal Instants. No question.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

I think technically Tangible & Undefined has the happiest “ending” if you mean ending of the work itself. It’s bittersweet obviously but pretty damn happy. 

Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you’ve written?

Nah, never written a crossover before, but sometimes the errant AU crossover headcanon will rear its ugly head.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

No, thank god. Not that I know of. This is one of my greatest fears I am too soft for that shit.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yeah quite a bit of it, almost all of it for the same couple. I don’t know how to describe what “kind” it is, exactly--it’s emotional, full of sensory imagery and fun banter. It’s always full of love.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of. I really hope not. Having ideas stolen hurts enough.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

No I don’t think so! People are pretty good about asking permission, hopefully I’d know if somebody did hah

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nah, not unless spontaneous Discord shitposting RP counts as fic.

What’s your all time favorite ship?

ALL TIME?? Lord. I have a lot. Come back to me.

What’s a WIP you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

What a depressingly phrased question. I’m sure I have a lot I don’t INTEND to ever finish, which is fine, we all need those. One that I might like to finish someday but realistically won’t is the Werlyt fix-it-fic, purely because I’m not really interested in returning to something I wrote out of anger. I’d rather just move on from that and maybe use some of the ideas for another story in the future.

What are your writing strengths?

FEELINGS?? idk ...Emotional, physical and their intersection. People connecting. I think I write pretty good romance overall. Sometimes I have a line of dialogue that is absolute fire.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Description of setting, oh my god. It’s so hard for me and I sooo admire people who do it well. I will paint you a beautiful picture of people and their feelings/interactions including every nuance of the conversation but please don’t ask me to describe the room they’re in.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Frankly it annoys me as a reader, I’m lazy. I’m also not a fan of the way most people write dialect or accents. When used sparingly and carefully it’s fantastic but it’s so often completely overdone and distracting. Just describe their manner of talking instead and I’ll be much more interested.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Legend of Zelda! Though it was only for me, I wasn’t really participating in “fandom” at the time and didn’t plan to post it anywhere.

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

This is so hard to answer. It honestly might be Mortal Instants because of how much of a risk I took and how greatly it paid off. I really pushed my limits and did something brand new and it’s excellent, honestly. As a standalone piece of writing it’s absolutely one of my strongest.

[dianaburnwood]

HITMAN 3: First Impressions

This post is full of SPOILERS. Also, it is LONG, so.... yeah. Be prepared lol 

HITMAN 3. Also known as: Diana’s Game. 

Dear GOD I am in love. 

I’m going to do my best to make this coherent. But. I am still freaking out. And I have SO much more to explore!!!! This won’t be very in-depth because I played each map exactly once so far. There’s so much left to see, conversations to overhear, opportunities to exploit - but, I DO have some first impressions, oh hell yes. 

Menu: 

That menu music!!! I was not expecting that at all. It was a mix of choral and classical with previous themes intertwined, and it reminded me of Blood Money. Speaking of Blood Money, this game is Blood Money. 

Dubai: 

Very, very beautiful. Kinda thought Grey made it all about himself lol of course he wanted to say “in your face” to the partners, but it was like 47 was just there to pull the trigger, like he’d not been hurt by them too. But, I really liked it. Trapping them in a room and watching them freak while Grey watched me kill them?? Helloo??? Popping off HARD from the start and I love it.

So - here’s the thing. I don’t get the timing. Diana tells them then that Edwards escaped. Did he escape just before the boys got to Dubai? Or were they unavailable to reach until then? It seems that the message Grey got at the end of HAVEN was after Olivia hacked the HAVEN servers, and then the boys were out of reach so after Diana discovered Edwards was gone, she couldn’t tell them until Dubai? And it was shown to us in a different order to leave us hanging? I dunno. Maybe? It seems weird. 

THE CUTSCENE here omg - once again establishing that 47 and Diana are ride or die. “Diana will make it right, she always does” - BABE. BABE. SWEET BOY. His little face when Grey doesn’t trust Diana. OMGGG.

Dartmoor: 

I went the murder mystery route, of course. I figured it was Emma from her conversation with her husband, but I got all the clues after just to be sure. Can’t believe Carlisle just handed 47 the file on Edwards and then went out alone on the balcony like I wasn’t gonna kill her??? Bitch????? do you forget who i am?????? Anyway, the murder mystery was SO much fun, but I can’t wait to infiltrate this manor in other ways. Lots of Beldingford vibes here.

THE CUTSCENE bdsfgafhlsjfah WAHT????? Ok so HOW did Edwards know where they were? And - ok, so it made for an amazing scene, but Grey is a badass. He is a mercenary genius that duped the ICA and brought Providence to its knees. How did he get himself surrounded in the woods by CICADA? But he did, and it was beautiful, and he literally only shot himself to save 47, and the LOOK in 47′s eyes on his balaclava face - I just bfjKSFasad. I can’t believe he died so early tho. I was very sure he’d die somehow, but SO early. WOW. 

Berlin:

fucking hell. Berlin. fuck. fucckkkk. 

I wanna shout out to Mini (not gonna tag you in case you’re avoiding spoilers) but hot damn girl if you’re reading you were BANG ON about 47 wearing Grey’s coat. I really didn’t think it was his. It was. It is such a beautiful way for 47 to express his emotions about this death without actually saying anything. Omg. It was perfection. I’m crying thinking about it.

BERLIN was where this game really upped its... game. Like WOW. 5 targets, and it’s the ICA. Clearly Edwards went to the ICA board at this stage and was like uhhhh so you need to take these ppl out. HOWEVER I am amazed that the ICA is like “oh, ok”. DO you not remember what happened in SOUTH DAKOTA. 

But going after the ICA is a fucking trip and I love it. I love how 47 says each agent’s name to himself. I love how he listens in and the team handler realises it. I love how she pulls the rest of her team out once you get 5. I love that the ICA agents use disguises too!!! This is truly APEX PREDATOR and I love that they named it that. Y’all think you have the balls to go up against 47??? bitch?????

But the fact that you have to find the targets and none of them are marked is so fantastic. I found 6, but I have no idea how many are actually available - but I’m gonna find out!!! The club is HUGE as well, and lots of throwbacks to Contracts, especially with the biker gang. Amazing. Amazing level. I’m so excited to replay it. 

Also they really addressed the elephant in the room with the ICA agents describing 47 as a caucasian male, bald, average height and ppl being like uh that’s every man here, and then he said yeah but he’s got this big tattoo lmao 

Chongqing

ok this is where I started to think this game was my fanfiction. Inside the ICA? Showing off how truly international it is, and high tech. Hidden in plain sight. Ready to dismantle in 12 hours if needed. SO perfect. This lore builds on Absolution and Blood Money ICA lore in wonderful ways. 

Also, I don’t know why the IOI and DK of the logo looked different in the trailer, they must have been just hard to make out. Cos in the game, the ICA logo is the same as all previous games. 

Also, analysts do client vetting? Intrigue. Always assumed that was part of the handlers’ job. I take it all back Diana, you have never done anything wrong in your life, ever 

I killed Royce by firing the ppl she recommended so she’d get trapped in the data core cleaning. I killed Hush (what a name I love it) as his patient. 

Working with Olivia is really fun. I missed Diana, but Olivia brought a whole fresh perspective. I also really like how neither Grey nor Olivia are as good as Diana - they both fucked up while guiding 47 at least once. 

47 saying “...I will leave you to prepare” to Olivia, I yelled fdagsfa

Also I love how 47 decided to expose the ICA exactly like Diana did in Absolution. Those two. One of a kind. My heart. And his desire to protect her. I love that the files showed their start together. Olivia saying “I can see why you...” and then she stopped herself. We all KNOW what she was gonna say. 

AND AND AND AND 

the cutscene - I screamed

“47 has one weakness. Me.” 

I swear to fucking GOD, IO has seen into my soul. I’ve said all along that Diana is 47′s weakness, and he is hers. But to hear it said, aloud, by my girl? WHAT???!!!!!

Mendoza

Ok. OK. OKKKKKK. OK. I can’t even write about this one. This was where I was pretty sure I was hallucinating the entire level. This is my Diana and 47 dreams come true. This is insane. This is EVERYTHING.

So we have OUR MOMENT IN THE SUN. She puts her HAND on HIS HAND and he looks in fucking wonderment at it. ahugarhiewEG;FEJGHEFlejlhsgfes;gjrsgt. I can’t. I can barely get through writing about this. 

Diana - the dress, the Jolie thigh slit, the jewellery, the hair (they finally fixed her fucking hair), SASS. “I have tango fever” omg. 

How do these ppl not have a pic of 47 by now lol 

I followed Diana and Vidal around cos I was entranced by my girl. Diana was fucking amazing each time. So much sass. Little did I know I interrupted them enough times for Vidal to say “ok son let’s talk”. I saw the tango and I was like omg imagine if I could dance with Diana. 

well.

WELL. 

Anyway, got to kill Vidal via her own setup for me, and that was amazing. I wasn’t expecting it at all. I snuck into the house to kill Yates, and overheard him calling Edwards’ voicemail. Also, it is April 2021?? So, yeah. My previous dates were way wrong lol. 

And then, ALL MY DREAMS CAME TRUE. Diana and 47 fucking dancing the tango? I was pissed that I was in a security guard outfit, next time I play he will be in his tuxedo baby. 

Diana’s comments to 47 when he’s in disguise tho, I was freaking. As security “you look like a true professional. I feel so much safer with you gentlemen around” aaahhhh

UH HE FELL TO THE GROUND COS OF POISON fngjfagfljgnsdfa

I am so glad I was right about my baby girl tho. She even told him “you didn’t have a choice” about her parents. Good. I’m so glad I was right about that. But omg it broke my heart to have 47 so, SO, SOOO sure of Diana all along, defending her to Grey and Olivia, knowing, KNOWING that she was on his side, and then, he eventually started to doubt it. 

I was screaming at my screen - this is BLOOD MONEY! SHe is doing what she did in BLOOD MONEY!!!!

But, for a second, 47 wasn’t sure anymore. And Diana played her part well. 

Carpathian Mountains

Ok, what I love most about Contracts was how it gave us an insight into 47′s psyche, and this game upped that tenfold. Him seeing all his targets surround him? Him imagining Diana and the Constant dancing together? Him imagining her say terrible things about him, things he’s thought about himself deep down, always, omg, but he finally snapped out of it. Ironic that thinking about Grey snapped him out of it, when in life Grey had not trusted Diana. But 47 came to the realisation on his own. Diana would never betray him. 

opening that door and finding out you’re on a fucking train?????? I screamed. 

I am a bit disappointed that it turned out Romania wasn’t significant, they just happened to be passing through. But omg the fact that you are “subject 47″ again. I freaked. This is 47′s worst nightmare. 

I love that you have a free pass to kill everyone in this level. I did it in stealth anyway, cos it felt wonderfully tense to sneak through that train. But wow. This is another BIG risk that IO took. The train was straight out of Uncharted, and crafting a silencer for your pistol??? Hello The Last of Us????? But I don’t care. They used those elements super well. 

I think some people will be angry at this game because parts of it (especially the last level) were a departure from how HITMAN and HITMAN 2 worked. But I love it. I love that they took risks to tell the story they wanted to tell, and those risks paid off. 

47′s undying loyalty to Diana, omg. Telling Edwards bye bitch, I’ll never forget who I am again, and Diana thinks you suck. <3<3<3<3<3

ENDING

OH MY GOD. ONE YEAR LATER????? 47 obviously took some time off cos he fucking needed a break. But he’s back, baby. Ending on “it’s good to be back” was wonderful. The game ended where the 2015 trailer for HITMAN started, and I’m crying. He’s ready to continue with Diana, and not because it’s what he was made to do, not because he doesn’t know what else to do, but finally, because he CHOOSES to do that. 

But one year later? What does that mean? Has Diana rebuilt the ICA like in Blood Money, or will she and 47 work together without anyone else? They’ll need the infrastructure that an organisation like the ICA has though. Diana said she would dismantle Providence from the top down once Edwards was gone, but how? Does that mean dismantling what’s left of the ICA? They were one and the same by the end of the game. All that didn’t just disappear. I’m left with so many questions. 

I was disappointed Diana wasn’t in the cabin when 47 got there. And I wonder why she wasn’t. She knew he was coming, but they are clearly still on good terms. Maybe she wasn’t sure what to expect. But does that mean they hadn’t spoken in a year since??? But she didn’t sound surprised to hear him, and he had coordinates that he was following, so I think they arranged to meet. But her phone was in there when he arrived, and she wasn’t. Maybe he was tracking her phone? Did she come back there to him after????? 

BUT BUT BUT BUT BUT BUT 

the game 

ended

with 47

smiling 

And for that I will be forever grateful. 

Ok bye, I need to play it again. RIP work tomorrow lol 

[selfcareparker]

(lovely anon) i'm so happy to finally be answering this oh my goodness hi gorgeous human being i feel that it has been too long 🥲 SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED SINCE THE LAST TIME I'VE WRITTEN ONE OF THESE HOW HAVE YOU BEEN

to answer the things you have said most recently- i'm so mad that spring break is over bc now i have to go back to life??? like dancing and school and shit that feels so unnessacry 😭 and like i can't just do nothing anymore? i was so used to it and now...... ugh. i STILL haven't played sims (i think it's because ✨depression✨ be hitting sometimes) lol but MWAHAH IM SO HAPPY FOR YOUR NEIGHBOR!AU AND THAT THEY HAD LITTLE BABY LEO!! i feel the name thing.. i just come up with something that sounds nice? i think leo is a nice name, it makes me think about lea michele and the fact that her son's name is Ever Leo but anyway. i don't name my sims after what i want to name my children irl either... idk why though. (i don't know why i'm telling you this but for boy names i love Liam🥰 and if i had twin boys i think i would do Liam and Peter though i am not married to the name Peter.... anywho)

LMAOOO the therpaist coming made me laugh thank you :)) i hope it's helpful? this may be tmi but i've only really had negative thoughts recently and not many healthy outlets so i'm hoping crossing one thing off this sad list will make me feel better :') i think during spring break my anxiety and my depression really spiked? idk, it comes in episodes but yeah THIS GOT REALLY SAD

i think a lot of things when i read your posts but i never say them hahaha so imma say it now: i googled what bon appetit meant ( i also just had to google how to spell it ) but ur right, i feel like bone apple tea makes more sense than bone apple teeth.. the "th" is throwing me off bc how i say it bone appa (like app-a) teet (like you're saying tit but teet lol) so bone apple tea makes more sense to me lol

i never know really know the time difference for anything lmao but est to germany (that's not gmt is it?) is like 6 hours wOAH so it's like 9pm while it’s 3pm here? wowee

i feel mega weird after watching this show called hollywood (darren criss is in it, so is laura harrier and a bunch of other people) but i don't like it💀 i feel really icky rn and idk why but reading your last response to my ask (?) always makes me feel better :')

i am doing what you said btw, i'm typing this on my computer first then gonna transfer it to my phone's tumblr lol but when you said a digital detox, it's interesting cuz i feel like i've been having one since tom's new project was announced? gOD i don't wanna get into it bc i get so triggered but i've been off of instagram since then bc instagram stans literally stand by tom through whatever even when something ain't right- i’m just gonna leave it there bc i’ll continue the rant, but yeah so i took a break lol

also heard abt your driving lesson thing (?) was it that bad? i can't find the old post but someone asked if you hooked up with your lesson person and i was sOOO CONFUSED LMAOO LIKE OK ARIA GET SOME BUT UHH HUH?

now to address the actual response HAHA the way you touch my heart :') by :') bringing :') up :') halle :') being ariel :') (i honest to God don't remember if i brought this up first, forgive me if i did, it's been a minute lmao) i'm always talking about it and i'm pretty sure my family is so tired of me talking about it lmao, but YEAH when i found out they weren't twins i was so surprised but idk why i always thought they were twins? but YOU ARE SPEAKING MY LANGUAGE WITH THE DISNEY TALK- everyone is always like "tiana is my favorite princess" and yea she's strong and stuff but...... she was a frog. for almost the whole time. it's about time we got another one!! i do agree with some people on the fact that disney should just make another black princess but halle is adorable and i was ariel on stage so it's already really special to me :')

yeah lol there are good times with my brothers but they make me mad for a good portion of the time (there's the 12yo vincent and the 7yo daniel but vincent??? psshhh he is a piece of work and i'm not sure how much longer i can put up with him HAJAH AND YES VINCENT IS THE ONE WHO WAS 👁👄👁WHEN I CRIED AND THE ONE WHO DOESN'T LISTEN TO MUSIC- writing this now makes it sound like vincent is awful. which he isn't... we're working on him ig. not to add to the awfulness but no, he listens to obnoxious loud VIDEO GAME MUSIC and won't stop when we ask him to stop... he gets beat up a lot) anyway i imagine being an only child is really calming.. like you have time to yourself and its just you and your parents 😌

yeah let me know if you end up watching it (wandavision)! i think it's great but if you like it lmk!! tfatws is sooo good like PHEW i am honestly loving it. sidenote: j*hn w*lker makes me wanna jump through the screen and choke him to the ground. i was thinking right, and the falcon and the winter soldier (THATS SO MUCH EASIER FAJHKDAH) would techinally be like a 10 hour movie right? because every episode is an hour long and there'll be 10 episodes? like wow. i get what you mean though, abt the racism in the show etc, like looking forward to it but not like..... no i get what you mean i will not try and give another example lol but you make me wanna learn more languages like really badly (bc of what you said about the german to american translation) & if you end up watching hamilton PLEASE LMK ABT THAT TOO HAHAHA i love it so much, same thing with lion king lmaoo

speaking of germany, i was at lunch on saturday with my mom and her friend and we were talking about my schooling and like-- she planted this idea in my head lol like what if i just got my GED and went around the world (to england probably) to get a theatre experience??? and i think it sounds so cool but no where near practical lol, it's just..... the dream haha and i would then try and learn a language 😉

uh yes we absolutely should order basically a resturant meal at a cinema, how about burgers, chips (fries), and a large drink? any time next week works for me, should i pick you up?

also about cherry (which i still haven't watched yet lol) i got the timestamps from tumblr😌 i couldn't find them anywhere else, but i agree, i probably wouldn't even look twice at cherry if tom wasn't in it? like i liked tdatt a lot, but it's not a movie i would be itching to see ya know?

HAHAHAHA THE 24 HOUR NOTIFICATION- i think i have around 1030 hours on sims? but i've had it since 2019 lmao (reading the screenshots, yes u are 100% a genuis, i take screenshots too but on anon you can't upload them so i just read them and retype what i wrote lmao) i think the university experience in the game is fun, but time consuming and it's all work imo. idk why i do it so often tho 😭😭😭

and agreed!! when you're making good money in the game you have to find other ways to make it interesting. my cousins who play it just continously do "motherlode" and i'm like.... then what do you do in your game?? it just sounds boring to me... my current sims household, i had a famous comedian sim, her name was dylan, aND SORRY IM LAUGHING SO HARD WHILE WRITING THIS BC ITS A GREAT EXAMPLE OF THE UNI THING UNLESS IM JUST DUMB, she went to college for communications when i wanted her to be a comedian and when she graduated i realized that degree did nothing for the career 🥲 so yeah, i think i'm just dumb. but she had a kid in college, guy didn't stick around and she was pretty broke HA but then she got married to this (great) guy named steve, made good bank, had 5 more kids (two sets of twins and one more lol) but then she passed. uhm... yeah that's still an open wound . lol i'm kidding, but when you get rich like that, you have to find a way to make the game interesting and i chose a million kids.

(this was one giant paragraph until i broke it up uhh yeah) i seriously don't pay attention to the sims prices and just end up spending way too much money and not being able to finish the rest of the house😭 but then again, i'm so used to having sims live in apartments... if i end up building a house FIRST OF ALL it'll look like what you explained before lmao but i'll tell you if i actually end up building a house HAHA & planning out your sims game is so fun to me lol, did enisa and michael take in his daughter yet? i may be thinking too far ahead lol and i love that they fucked woohooed (i say woo woo lol) in celebration HAHA but when i was playing with this one couple i had them woo woo every night hoping the dude would have horrible pull out game and they would concieve, but one night they were too tired and i was like why? get back in there man. if i was in college and lived with my partner we would be fucking every night homie. be grateful. i have been talking a lot about sims, and like you said: enough 💀 i just love this game a lot 😭😭

SORRY LAST THING i think the sims romantic and sexual stuff is so nice bc its what i want?? LMAO IDK like the whole hot tub thing you're talking about- puh lease ITS JUST NICE TO SEE OKAY

i'm reading the german section over again and i said aloud "my german friend is so cool" lol (i was saying that to my brothers & i know they don't care LMAO) (& i'm glad the uni zoom call went well!!) so on a form, in german, it could possibily say Einführungsveranstaltungsteilnehmer because you would be a participant to an introductory event? i swear german sounds so cool 😌 but i love reading your german lessons!! it's really interesting, most of the time my brain can't comprehend it tho?? like that word makes sense to you, but i need a translation. like to be able to look at that and know what it says.... its just appealing and seems so cool lol i kinda wanna write something out in german but i feel that google translate will fail me. während googeln "google übersetzen" mein Computer war so verdammt langsam und es fühlte sich einfach wie etwas Gutes auf Deutsch zu sagen. ich bin nicht sicher, welches Wort ist "fucking", aber ich mag es lmao (did it fail me like i thought it would??)

LMAOOO THANK YOU FOR BRINGING UP JUSTIN BC WHILE AT THE RESTURANT THEY PLAYED A JUSTIN SONG AND I IMMEDIATELY THOUGHT OF YOU AND THIS STORY😭 lol i was thinking it's depending on your age but not even that either... i really don't know.... but tom's fans are hollanders💀 i would consider myself one? he's the only person i'm really into like that (like a lot lol) so idk lmao (directioners 💔💔the pain is real)

LMAOOO (both of these paragraphs started off with “lmaooo” smh) "i like my men when they look like they are on the brink of death" PLEASE, i don't like pete's blonde hair... i just don't. i'm not sure if i wasn't watching the most recent snls but yea. my mom thinks he looks like trash, but i think he's okay? like he said staten island people just look like trash LMAO and I STILL HAVEN'T SEEN KING OF STATEN ISLAND GIRL I ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT THAT!! now i'm gonna make plans to watch it lmao, & yes agreed i find pete hot, don't ask why i really couldn't explain it to someone he's just .

my favorite songs from rex are from pony oh my goodness 🥺 anywho i'm gonna go eat cereal (i ended up eating bun and cheese instead) and listen to the Stormzy songs you recommended... aria. aria aria aria. i would like to thank you for introducing me to stormzy i- i don't have any words or any emojis to express HOW GOOD STORMZY IS. i hope he's popular in germany/the uk because i haven't heard of him but GURLLLL

one second - delicious i love it. it's really good. it’s not my favorite from the album, but its great.

superheroes - at first i played the non-explicit one (on accident) and wondered why the words weren't playing but i was reading them in the lyrics??? THIS ONE THOUGH??? IS THE BEST SONG I THINK I'VE EVER HEARD. i am so SO SO into black people empowering songs (like brown skin girl by beyonce) and this song???? PHEW I CRYYYYY ITS SO GOOD.... i was gonna quote some lyrics BUT THERS TOO MANY I LOVE, "i am young, black, beautiful, and brave" "black queen, you're immaculate, it's coming at the world, they ain't ready for your magic yet, and that was never your fault" THAT WAS NEVER YOUR FAULT- I ALMOST CRIED THIS SONG IS SO BEAUTIFUL (i played it twice lol)

lessons is another beautiful one, like its slow and it feels intimate and nurturing and just OO chefs kiss, beautiful . like you can feel the apology and the regret... it’s so good

own it - OWN IT OWN IT OWN IT IS AMAZING!! swear you would catch me dancing to this song, this song is so fucking good i cannot comprehend like this one might be my favorite for real... "it's the way you wind up your waist, i'm so in awe, you never have to worry abt nothing, you know its yours, you know you own it" 🥲 i played it two or three times honestly

rachael's little brother - YES I DID LISTEN TO IT LMAO AND YES I LIKE IT, its a very complex song and it's very layered in terms of emotions i think and i really like that about it. i probably won't listen to it that often, but its really good. i would recommend this song to my "older brother" bc he would just absolutely love this

shut up - i was taking this song seriously (also very good) until i heard him say shu-T up LMAO, this one is good, i probably wouldn't listen to it 24/7 like rachael's little brother but honestly its still fire

before listening to blinded by your grace and vossi bop, i know you brought up the religion bit, i definitely don't mind that, especially because i'm Christian lol and i actually liked that he brought up God in some of his songs like idk i just like it🥰🥰

(i then went to bed after that lol but first thing in the morning i listened to superheroes and... that song is probably my favorite tbh, i was gonna write MORE quotes that i loved from it but, yeah no there's too many. if you want i'll tell you lmao but this is already so long i would just be quoting the whole friggin song)

VOSSI BOP IS A BOP (lol) I CANT EVEN LIE, i love a song that hypes up a dude's girl so the line- i love that my phone decided to fail to load the lyrics, lemme google it, okay the lyric "looking at my girl like what a goddess" i was like AYEEE its honestly just really good. and no one in america says "sauce" like "i've got the sauce" but now i do (thanks to love island and Nas from last season) and now stormzy so (also im gonna watch the music video for superheroes bc it looks great so 😛)

(because this is already so long i feel like i shouldn't finish the rest but . no i'm gonna do it)

now for blinded by your grace pt2 idk why i’m nervous lmaoo PAUSE I'M NOT EVEN DONE WITH THE SONG GIRL THIS SONG IS *chefs kiss* no words, speechless PHEW y'all gon make me start jumping around. why did i not know about stormzy before, he is amazing i- ok yeah i finished the song, all i have to say is that Stormzy is immaclucate. period. i am literally sending his music to all my friends he is..... amazing

you want my song recommendations 🥺🥺 hmm uh okay lol i listen to a lot of old music, whitney houston, marvin gaye, queen, celine dion, i love "more than words" by extreme uhmm okay, but for actual music i listen to on the daily? (this is a lot of different music like.... they do not go together lmao so be prepared) a song about being sad by rex orange county, betty by taylor swift and lover by taylor swift and... most of that album lol, treasure by bruno mars lmao, OOOO and versace on the floor by bruno as well, lazybaby by dove cameron, creep by tlc has been on repeat lol, deja vu by olivia rodrigo (i saw what you said about drivers license and AGREED LMAO but i like deja vu a lot more haha) and two albums that i listen to in general, rare by selena gomez and ungodly hour by chloe x halle 🥰 you don't have to listen to all of them or any of them lol but that's a sense of what i'm into :) so basically everything haha, i'm into literally every single kind of music really so i wasn't too surprised that i enjoyed stormzy :’)

HAHASBSJHAHA your h20 story cracked me up,, like "wow these actors are so dedicated, learning german just for us" 😭 the beauty of overdubbing

once again, math and maths, in my mind maths makes sense because its mathmatics, but saying maths doesn't feel right to me lol, like if i said maths i feel like everyone would look at me like ??? and yea i was taught it as math so its just more natural for me. but yes math/maths is disgusting, easily one of my least favorite subjects so .

mkay. i- the first time i read this i could not contain my laughter when you said the only pollen you know is sex pollen LMAOKOOSHBABJFAJF STOPPP I'M EVEN LAUGHING WRITING THIS,, anyway. wow! that's interesting, my dad (<<< mostly anything else) gets migraines from the sun and the heat and stuff, yesterday (sunday, i was outside for like hours watching my brothers play football, the american kind lol) i was in the sun for like ever and i got a headache😔

summer clothes🥲 i need to go shopping fr fr. for my birthday my mom and dad got me a giftcard like dedicated to a shopping spree and we've yet to go so..... i should bring it up to my mom lol, but!! i went bra shopping (ended up returning literally all of them cuz they honestly didn't work for day to day work? its a long story) and if i could i would walk around in this new "summer bra" i got, i would. it's so fricking cute and its really light fabric (which isn't perfect for my nipples but still) so i don't get hot in it, but that bra and some shorts would be perfect. its the closest thing to being naked so

IS THE BIRD STILL BOTHERING U ARIA, TELL ME NOW ISTG, i laughed really hard that the bird isn't stupid and is really trying to torture you LMAOO like i was rolling, it wants you to suffer, badly

when you said "mensus" it was still close to mens!!! latin speaking queen 😌😌

okay STORYTIME i was reading back your response and started (fake) crying bc i love you lol and my youngest brother (daniel) gon say "oh man, catherine's crying about something we don't care about, again" I--- i swear when i tell you about them they sound awful, but they aren't that bad, just the stuff i say about them is sounds really mean LMAO

but the thing you said about being kind, same, what i always say is: don't be the person that makes people say "i hate people" ya know? like there's no reason to be a jerk or anything.... but its true 🥺🥺🥺🥺 you are really kind and every time i talk to you i would like to personally fly to germany and give you a hug 💖💕💞💗💓💝💖💘

& i'm gonna show my stretch marks some love bc of you 🥺😭 i really hate how men have basically everyone conditioned that you can't love your own body </3 fuck them, y'all beautiful :')

also thanks for what you said :')) you literally are the kindest, sweetest person i think i've ever spoken to and i love you 🥰🥺🥲💓💗

READING YOUR TAGS HAHAHHAHA the spelling errors makes everything so much funnier. once again, i like your german lessons & yea!! i'm gonna play sims after writing this hahah

#catherine's tags are back #i don't think i've told you my name before?? #anyway it's catherine🥰🥰🥰 #i'm typing this on my computer (without emojis) and if i didn't edit this you would be reading shit shite like #heartface and pout and cry LMAO #yeah abt the tattoos #some stuff with my parents i'm like deal with it??? lol #my mom tells me "if there's something you enjoy or you like but i don't have the same opinion on it... why would my (my mom's) opinion matter? #and i love that #like i'm not gonna go and do whatever i want #but if my mom doesn't like that i swear (which isn't true just an example) #its like okay.... #but whatever #and your tattoo ideas sound really cute!! #and yeah @ your parents, i mean you aren't getting something wild #and the tattoo album>>> #i'm gonna look up ariana's butterfly tattoos just so i know what you mean lol #but i'm guessing you don't want something so incredibily simple, but not super like over the top? #correct me if i'm wrong lol #LMAO the tags were in order don't worry ! #and yeah lol ily2 <33 #and once again, again, sorry for this post JSHJS ITS A MESS AND LONG AS HELL #and you don't need to go in order of my post its literally longer than your german compound words #u're fine #also !!! while writing this the birds were chirping outside and i was like 😳 #and one of your fics (i’ve read all of them, i don’t remember lol) that valentine’s day one where y/n had lingerie on (the pancake one lol) #inspired me to buy lingerie #like when i look back on me “growing up” #that fic & basically you lol really helped with that #that made no sense and i don’t know how to make it make sense... but... yeah. like ily

hiiiiiiiiiii <3333

Dear catherine, 😌

(you have said your name before, but it wasn‘t like an introduction or anything i think you were talking about .... was it possibly the incident at the cinema??? And you said something like ‘calm down catherine‘ like you were telling yourself to calm down idkd dkdkkdkd anyway i didn‘t mention it cause i wasn‘t sure if it was an accident or not dkdjd but now i know 😌❤️ Catherine is such a cute and lovely name btw omg and so are your brothers‘s names 🥰

Sorry that I‘m answering this so late, it‘s been an emotional rollercoaster for me since last week but i‘ll get to that in a second lol

Sksklssk girl i haven‘t played sims in like 2 weeks now ekejdkdlldld ok that‘s not that long at all actually but i keep wanting to play but then i end up not playing for whatever reason, so no news about my sims game 😔 but i love the names Liam and Peter and for twins!!! That sounds really nice actually

okay i‘m trying to answer your ask in chronological answer even though i wanted to wait for the depressing stuff and write it at the end or something OKAY so. i thought that i‘d feel so good when i start uni and that i‘ll like... have a purpose in life again and just be happy (cause in the last year i didn‘t do much and i was depressed like half of the time lol).... anyway i kind of feel even worse now? 😭 i think it‘s because in my brain it‘s like: university!!! that means your life will change and it‘ll all be so exciting. and don‘t get me wrong it is exciting butttt..... idk the online thing is so weird cause you‘re not meeting any new people (i‘m introverted anyway but still lol) and it doesn‘t feel like you‘re listening to/talking to actual people cause it feels the same as just watching a video?

also i thought i‘d be busy again but i only have one lecture (90mins) a day and theres one day where i dont have any lectures at all and just one day where i have 3 hours but.... idk i mean i shouldn‘t complain about having so much free time but i just don‘t know what to do all day and in a pandemic there really is nothing to do but i also can‘t relax bc it‘s like during the week and i know i have uni the next day and .... yeah.

There‘s also this one assignment i had to do that took me AT LEAST SIX HOURS AND IM NOT EVEN EXAGGERATING????? so that was the only thing i‘ve been doing besides “going to“ lectures. for this one course we have to read two (really really long) texts (like it literally took me 3 hours to read them) and we‘re supposed to post it on this website that all the professors in our uni use. So after 5 days of anxiety (✌🏼) i posted mine this morning bc last night i realised that i didn‘t even know why i was having anxiety so i just posted mine today. The deadline is tomorrow at 12 and no one except me has posted theirs yet........ so i have anxiety again 🥰 cause idk if i‘m the only one who did it or if i even did it correctly

Edit while i‘m rereading this: my anxiety about uni is a lot better and i‘m not as d*pressed anymore maybe it was just hormones? idk but i‘m better so that‘s good

(I started writing this like 5 hours ago and then i randomly completely forgot lol)

I‘m in a better mood now though so let‘s move on from that (oh wait also, i think i‘m gonna see if i can find a psychiatrist bc with my anxiety symptoms (long story) i need to go to a psychiatrist, and so far i‘ve only gone to like psycholgists and it didn‘t help but i think that‘s just bc i was meant to go to a psychiatrist and not a psychologist so dldjdjsj

n e ways but yes you‘re not alone, ily, things will get better and yes i love you (i‘m not good at this type of thing🥲 but i‘d hug you right now if i could <3)

Yess i think the time difference between est and me is 6hours but gmt is uk time i believe? i think mine is called.... cet? For central european time? I could be completely wrong though lmao

Oof i completely forgot about hollywood, i remember when laura kept posting about it on instagram but i never actually watched it and i definitely won‘t now lmaodkdksjsn

Okay my driving lesson LEBDJDKDK I DID NOT HOOK UP WITH ANYONE AKSJSKSMMLM especially not my 40 or 50 year old driving instructor lol i like her but NOT LIKE THAT, the lesson was really really really good actually and i think i‘ll have my driving test soon, but i don‘t even remember why the anon would have thought that??? Oh wait now i remember okay KEKSKDLDL so during the lesson my instructor was like do you mind if i turn on some music? AND THIS WOMAN TURNED ON ONE DIRECTION I LOVE HER so i made a post about it and i said something about the song up all night and i guess i phrased it in a .... idk in a dumb way 💀 so the anon made a joke that i stayed up with my driving instructor all night and NO. No.

Wait did i read that right? YOU WERE ARIEL ON STAGE? SIALDBDJDKSLMSBDKDMDMDKDJSLSMDJFJJEDMBFEKLEFBJDLDVSIDLESKSKWKDKDJDOWNYUEKWNDUWLNSUFLWVSUDLEHDOENSIDBEISBEHENJELBSIEMWUDNRIW KB WOBE JO ON SBEUU HIII S HWS LV W ICH US KB okay this keyboard smash is getting out of hand but uh please do elaborate on that 💘😌???? Like you can‘t just drop that information and not say more??? I forgot if you‘re in like your school‘s drama group (is that a thing? lol idk anything about acting) or in an independent group? Either way - ARIEL that is so fucking cool

Your brothers loooooool, no i get it though obviously you love them and stuff but esp at their age children are so annoying so good luck with them 😭😭😭lmao

Yeah “anyway i imagine being an only child is really calming.. like you have time to yourself and its just you and your parents 😌“ yeah just me and my parents who constantly fight 🥰 lmao no i like being an only child, like i cannot imagine having siblings but i feel like if i had siblings i would be saying that i can‘t imagine being an only child so? but i do think it‘s quite different like i‘m trying to imagine having siblings and WHAT that‘s just so different omg i‘ve never really thought about it like properly ???

I saw a tik tok the other day that was like “sometimes i forget that my siblings have a life of their own. like i see them as side characters in my life“ and even though i can‘t relate obviously i felt that. lol, like i can really imagine how it feels idk what i‘m talking about like shut the fuck up, daria

(also my actual name is daria not aria but i dont like it, and also i wanted to be more anonymous on tumblr so now i‘m aria lmao. pls don‘t mention it though cause no one knows except for you and mel (peterbenjiparker) dkdkdkdnkdnd. but i‘m starting to identify with the name cause everyone keeps calling me that looool😭😭😭 (but i like the name, more than daria anyway? well it also depends on the accent, cause the way germans say daria is okay. the was Americans say it is also okay, but some of my family in England are from the north of england and i don‘t like how they say my name 💀 no offence to them(?) but yeah pls don‘t mention the name in your ask cause the chance of people seeing it is higher then (or if you want to say something about it just send a separate ask and i just won‘t post it (IDK what you‘d want to say about my name but yeah just in case slsldlldmsndnsns)

I‘m loving falcon and winter soldier so much but when i was watching an episode the week before last week (?) my laptop broke😭😭😭😭 during the scene where the dora milaje came at the end my laptop just shut down? And it had these lines all over the screen and i had to bring it to the shop where i bought it and they said it‘ll take 6-8 weeks to repair 💔💔💔 but at least it‘ll be for free, cause if i brought it back to apple it would cost like 400€ (i think that‘s nearly 500$) so yeah. but it sucks cause now i‘m “going to uni“ on a really old rusty laptop and on my phone which kinda sucks. oh yeah and also i can‘t watch anything on there 😭 i definitely want to watch wandavision but it‘ll have to wait🤧

Yessss you should def get your GED! I googled and I‘m still not entirely sure what it is dldks but from how you described it- YES!!!!!!

Idk if you know this? Like no idea if I‘ve told you this already (hmmm wait i feel like we talked about it actually?) anyway i was originally gonna go study in England, but for loads of reasons I ended up staying in Germany and I‘m def happy with my decision, but I definitely want to go to England sometime even if it‘s just for six months or maybe for my masters or something? And (obviously everyone is different) but i think everyone should go abroad and live in a different country once in their life, no matter if it‘s for school or what, and even if it‘s just for a few weeks. But i think that‘s something that you‘d never ever forget! And combining that with your acting/theatre??? You really would be living the dream 💘💘😌

how about burgers, chips (fries), and a large drink? any time next week works for me, should i pick you up?— sounds good see you soon 🥰🥰🥰

i used to be one of the people who‘d just do motherlode motherlode motherlode and just... what did i do? Why did i do that??? But not anymore lol. Like I said i haven‘t played sims in a few weeks but i‘ve been watching a few legacy challenge let‘s plays and usually i play with the aging off. So my sims just don‘t age 💀 but i could (should) turn aging on so that it stays exciting and i have limited time and everything. and once i get bored with my current sims i can just make them have kids and continue playing as their children when they get older- like recently i remembered that i haven‘t played the acting career in ages? and i haven‘t had a shop in ages? and i think you can even become a vet right??? like those are definitely some things i want to do in the next weeks!!! Also yes sksksjs i have a few hundred hours on sims as well (if not thousands 😭) it was just that one household that i‘d been playing with for 24hrs

AND GIRL SSKSKJD THE UNIVERSITY THING HAPPENED TO ME TOO, it was a while ago so i don‘t remember what degree and what job it was about but i made my sim study something for aaaaaages so she‘d get a better job from the beginning (you know what i mean like get in at a higher level)...... and i apparently studied the wrong thing cause i didn‘t get any benefits from studying and still had to start at level 1 and shit 🥴🥲

Oh also (this was like 2 weeks ago) Enisa and Michael did take in Michael‘s daughter and i think Enisa currently even has a higher/better relationship with the daughter than Michael but um💀💀💀 also i was hoping (since michael and enisa married (in their back yard i think lol) that the daughter (i forget what her name is😭) would have enisa as her step mom? Like you know how you can see the relationship and it says daughter or son or sister.. and i was hoping that it would say step mom but it doesn‘t say anything 🥲 but in my mind (and if the sims had proper family relations) she is her step mom😌 also Leo is a teenager now???? I mean I aged him up lol dkdk he was being too annoying as a toddler but i don‘t like children so i aged him up twice in one day and now he‘s a teen, but that means he can look after his half sister when she becomes a toddler which is good (the game recognises them as siblings tho even if they‘re just half siblings? why can‘t they have step family members in the sims🥲) okay i‘ve annoyed you enough with sims ✋🏼

I‘ve been a bit sick these past few days and now i‘m getting a headache so i have to finish this response tomorrow 😭😭😭 </3

.

It‘s not tomorrow, it‘s 3 hours later but i‘m better lol

oooff when sims are ungrateful and won‘t woo woo (lol i like that) cause they‘re too tired like?? Be grateful that you‘re not living with your parents anymore 🙄 no okay dkdkdkdl idk if you play with mods (i don‘t) but i know there is a mod (or it‘s part of a mod idk maybe wicked whims?) where you can adjust the percentage of how risky a normal woo woo is, like you still click woo woo (3dksksks okay i‘ll say woohoo again— wait is that what’s it called? 😭) but there‘s like a 25% chance that your sim can still get pregnant just like in real life there‘s always a chance of getting pregnant even if you‘re using protection (just not 25% lmao) but yeah i personally don‘t play with mods sksk and you can always just click try for baby but it would be cool if you could add stuff like risky woohoo to the game without mods (i have no idea how to download mods and i play sims on a really really old laptop and sims is literally tje only thing that works on it anyway so—) i repeat my words from earlier: okay i‘ve annoyed you enough with sims ✋🏼

okay i‘m so sorry i‘m gonna watch fast & furious 1 now cause i need to watch f&f 1-5 until the 30th of april cause they‘re only on netflix til then (i mean i could watch them somewhere else but the quality is never as good) so i will finish this tomorrow after all😭

it is now 1 am, i finished the film, can feel a new obsession coming up again (i always have these f&f obsessions for six months before and after a new film comes out)

THE GOOGLE TRANSLATE wkekdjdj tbh it sounds like someone is speaking with some kind of foreign accent i guess that‘s probably because it just is a direct translation and so anyway slsjsj i don‘t know if you asked me what the word fucking is in german? like idk cause the translation is a bit weird but in case you asked lol sidjsjs theres not really a good translation like we just say fuck for fuck lmao, i don‘t know if you typed in fucking in google translate and it came out as verdammt? cause that means damn (or damned sksjjs) ummm yeah idek if/what you asked so imma move on🤧

I‘m not gonna comment on what you said about every stormzy song cause you already said all the important things but SKSKSJSJSKNSNDBDUDOENWBSLSKKHSULSLSKSBSJSKSK I WAS SMILING SO HARD WHEN I READ YOUR RESPONSE FOR THE FIRST TIME BECAUSE AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH finally i know someone who loves him as much as i do 💘💘💘 also since you brought it up, i‘m pretty sure he‘s considered the most successful UK rapper or if not then at least top 3 so he‘s defffffffffinitely big in the uk, in germany more and more people are listening to uk rap too but not as much stormzy cause theyre dumb apparently 🙄 but anywY i‘m sooooo sooo happy that you like him. i think hith came out end of 2019 (i could be wrong but i think it came out on the 13th of december so (in a european way) you‘d write the date: 13.12 and obviously i don‘t KNOW this but i can definitely imagine that he chose that date because ACAB and yes, Michael. Yes. But he hasn‘t made too much music since then so i hope he‘s working on some new stuff 🤞🏼

Also i ordered the stormzy poster😌 also a nicki minaj one bc i decided i‘m gonna have one wall with red-ish posters (i already have two kinda red ones) and one with blue/green-ish posters (already have two) and i can add stormzy to the blue one and nicki to the red one, but i think that‘s it cause if my walls are tooo full it could look cluttered? I‘m not sure how that type of thing works lmao but my room is generally untidy so i don‘t want the walls to look unorganised too so i think that‘s it for now

I really want to finish this now but my brain is getting kinda slow and i need to sleep soon so this will have to wait till later after all 🥺🥴 (not that it makes and difference to you bc you‘ll see this whenever i post it buttttt i wanted you to know that i want to talk to you again but with my slow brain i‘m just taking too long to do it in one day😭😭😭 and i‘m so busy tomorrow hmm but i‘m sure i‘ll have 30 minutes to finish this then <3)

Okay wait I‘m so dumb I didn‘t realise I‘d nearly answered everything i could have posted this yesterday 😭😭

Oooohh that summer bra sounds so nice like if i was confident enough i literally would just wear a top that resembles a bra (or really is a bra lol) cause my tiddies always be looking amazing i‘m just insecure about my stomach sometimes 🙄🙄🙄 but recently i‘ve been loving myself more and more tbh 😌

also i hope you can go shopping for some nice clothes soon ✨😌

I‘ll be honest I haven‘t listened to your song recs YET but only because i wanna take my time with them and i‘ve been so busy and slso AJ tracey‘s album came out last week and I haven‘t listened to that one yet either so ekdkdj (he‘s also a uk rapper like quite popular and successful as well, but i feel like i‘m not gonna like his album cause whenever i‘m looking forward to an album it ends up being really bad and the albums where you weren‘t expecting it turn out to be bangers.... so yeah but i‘ll let you know when i listen to your songs!!!! :)

Omg i keep having to scroll up all the way to see the next thing you said so sorry if I completely miss some of the things you said😭😭

So when you sent this the bird was still bothering me oh my FUCK DKDLDMMDMDMD but now i‘ve been going to bed at like 1-2am so the bird is probably still asleep lool

Okay and for the rest of your ask my response is: 💘💖❣️💚❣️💛❣️💛💕💞❤️💓💟💞💕💕💖💘💝💟💟🧡❤️🧡💞💛💚💓💚💚💚❣️🧡💖💘🧡💝🧡💕💘🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥺🥺🥺🥰🥺🥺💘💘💘💘💘 (okay that looked cuter in my head i don‘t really like the green hearts dldkkdksndnd)

[loseyoutoloveme]

will you do a song by song review for life support? i really liked the ones for sweetener and thank you next!

oh absolutely, i’d love to! thank you for asking and being interested 🖤 all thoughts below.

the beginning:

this was such a great way to open this album, it’s so cinematic and really sets the mood so perfectly. one of my fav instrumental intros i’ve ever heard.

9/10

good in goodbye: “you put the over in lover, put the ex in next.”

the lyrics are so wonderfully corny and i’ll love this song forever, like the chorus is literally just so fun to sing along to.

i do think it feels a little... shallow compared to the rest of the album, and the album being released so long after this song came out makes it feel disconnected from the rest. but i love it so i don’t care.

7.5/10 

default: “i know, i know this must be coming for me, i swear, i swear i will be the end of me, the end of me.”

this song is just sooo...... OUCH!

i’m obsessed with the way the chorus just SOUNDS like an emotional spiral, like her life falling apart, like falling into a deep depression, and then the outro builds like destructive racing thoughts.

also i never noticed the wave crashing and the bubbles at the very beginning until really recently, and i love that little touch. the whole song feels so underwater. cloudy and fuzzy. it does a good job of depicting certain symptoms of various mental illnesses.

8.5/10

follow the white rabbit: “is it haunting, baby, that i’m wanting, baby, that i’m wanting, wanting you?”

i actually was fully not expecting to like this that much based off the snippets she’d shared, but omg this left me WEAAAAK on first listen, which was the best surprise

there are definitely so many layers to these lyrics too, despite it being just a bombastic sexy toxic love song on its surface, particularly when thinking about the album as a commentary on mental illness, and some of the breakup/love songs as metaphors rather than straightforward love songs. definitely about infatuation and toxicity and perhaps knowingly entering a bad relationship as a bad coping mechanism, a way to avoid dealing with your pain or (as we see in effortlessly) a way to just feel anything at all.

9/10

effortlessly: “i hold my breath to breathe, hurt me so i feel, used to do these things so effortlessly somehow.”

oh god this song is just a punch in the stomach

i ALSO didn’t really expect to love this one based on snippets but the lyrics are just devastating and perfect and i hope speak to anybody who has struggled with self-harm and medication.

i don’t even have thoughts on this song, it just makes me go jsn*@(#nkdasdnkasd7*@U#j2k3n

love that this is such a fan favourite. it deserves!

10/10

stay numb and carry on: “truth is it was never love, your fault if you thought it was.”

the reverse “i’ve become emotionless” at the beginning >>>

also love the “i was gin and you were toxic . . . wish we’d just stayed plaTONIC” like a platonic relationship would be the opposite of toxic. it’s such fun wordplay.

also “i don’t feel like anyone” makes me emo, she really just slid the most simple but heartbreaking lines in everywhere and you don’t notice them until they hit you out of nowhere one day and you’re like ...OH

AND THE WAY HER VOICE STARTS TO GO MONOTONE AT “i’ve become emotionless” 

in conclusion, madison beer is a vessel for god

10/10

blue: “you could be as sweet as honey but i knew the darkness in your mind.”

this is my least favourite on the album but it’s still fantastic

the lana influence is clear without being too copycat, like it’s still SO madison. sorta like lana’s video games modernized and adapted into something truer to madison’s vibe.

love love love the whole outro

glad that this wasn’t a single like it was planned to be

7/10

interlude: “would you do that shit for me too?”

VOCODER RIGHTS

this album in general is just not really for people who don’t like vocoders and lots of technical effects. i looove that she leaned into it so hard bc it’s so HER.

this song also has so much depth for an interlude, relaying the experience of feeling SO hard about people, and realizing like you’re putting in way more than you’re getting back.

the post-chorus is like... 🤩🌌💫☄️🌠

7.5/10

homesick: “these humans speak my language, still don’t understand it.”

THIS SONG...... IS MY BABY......

oh god it just breaks my heart on every listen. the image in my head is of a little girl talking to the stars.

and why does the line about her mom and dad make me wanna cry every time? i have no idea.

I BELONG IN SPACE...... FLOATING WITH DEBRIS.......

i’m sure she’s not the first person to ever use this metaphor for mental illness, expressing the alienation of mental illness (especially one as stigmatized and misunderstood as bpd) by talking about LITERAL aliens sdkjfsdfksd, but she does it SOOOOO well and sincerely that it feels like it’s uniquely hers.

the rick & morty sample is so funny and so weird and so madison. i will probably never watch an episode of that show in my life.

10000000000/10 this song is the loml

selfish: “shouldn’t love you but i couldn’t help it, had a feeling that you never felt it.”

my absolute favourite of all of the singles, noooo question about it. it’s a perfect, perfect, perfect song.

two years, alone on new years’, nightclubs, gemini... women writing lyrics with very specific details about the shitty men that the song is about... it’s everything to me.

this song will just NEVER age. every time i listen to it, it’s like the first time all over again.

10/10

sour times: “don’t know what song of mine you heard that made you think i’d want to spend the night with you.”

home with you’s big sister<3 

not the strongest lyrics, but the concept and production are more than strong enough to carry the song.

she came on this bitch mad as hell

also love that this have been another fan favourite, seemingly??

men gross

9/10

boyshit: “don’t know how to talk or communicate, we’re so on and off, to you it’s a game.”

it took me awhile to get into this when it was a single ngl, probably because it came out the same night as evermore sjdknfsfnkjsd, but once i got into it, it became the best song ever

she’s soooo reliable with her “men ain’t shit” songs ugh

8.5/10

baby: “i’m a handful but that’s what hands are for.”

when this came out as a single it was the only thing i listened to for a solid week and a half. just an excellent song. the chorus is evvverrryttthhhiiinnnnggg.

WHAT IS IT SO CATCHY FOR?

9.5/10

stained glass: “my life’s a still fading memory of what i can’t have, and everything ’round me is starting to fade into black, but black and white is so much better, i’m learning how to hide my colours.”

i’m so surprised by how much non-stans seem to love this omg, it’s never been a fav of mine, as much as i still love it

but i’m obsessed with how different and distinctly madison it is

also this is a much more genuine take on the “pls stop being mean to me just bc i’m famous / you don’t know what people are going through” type of song than most of the others i’ve ever heard. her pain is evident, and the soft “i just might break” is just..... </3

the glass breaking and little scream are so good

she loves a good metaphor and so do i!

7.5/10 

emotional bruises: “how do i word this? was about to write you this letter, but it was just curses in cursive, you probably deserve it.”

this was definitely my most anticipated song along with everything happens for a reason, like i listened to the snippet on repeat CONSTANTLY lmao. and the full song definitely lived up.

the scribbling sound is so fun, i love her obsession with little real-life sound effects

10/10

everything happens for a reason: “i still can’t find a reason you’d wanna hurt me so bad.”

THIS SONG IS VERY MUCH EVERYTHING

again, this was for sure one of my most anticipated songs and just kjsadsdkajsm god i love love love it

i think she posted a video one time of the song over a clip of the mermaids from peter pan and it was so pretty and i still picture that video when i hear this song. it’s just soooooo hazy and dreamy and retro and perfect.

also the song on the album where she got to show off her vocals the most. she found her niche with this song, truly.

100/10

channel surfing/the end: “YOU’REBADFORMYHEALTHISHOULDPROLLYKEPTSOMEHELPICANTCONTROLMYSELFIMADDICTEDOTHEHELL”

oh my god i was FLOOOOOORED at the dear society clip. dear society was and is one of my FAVOURITE songs, and i appreciate her reasoning for not including it on the album (just wanting some space for a new song instead of one we’d already had for so long), but it did hurt a lil. i was so happy she found a little way to include it :’) rip to hurts like hell tho since she didn’t get the same treatment sjdnksd.

the channel surfing is also just such a fun concept for an outro.

and her laughing with her producers at the end followed by such a sweet calming tropical instrumental...... oooo it’s so nice, it feels like the calm after the storm.

10/10

overall, this album was just SO worth the wait, it’s so fantastic, it’s the loml, one of my favourite albums ever. i LOVE that it’s helped anyone with BPD feel seen and understood, and as someone who doesn’t have bpd but has a couple of loved ones who do, the emotions she expressed in these lyrics have helped me to understand this disorder more too. just such a special album.

most of the criticism i’ve seen of the album has been that it’s overproduced, and that’s definitely criticism that i understand, bc it IS heavy on the technical side and some people just don’t like very heavy production, buuuut... some people do! i do! madison does! and heavy production does not automatically make an album bad. this type of production isn’t something that i expect her to move away from, because it’s clearly her thing, and maybe that just means her place in the industry will be more with the heavy heavy pop fans and maybe even in more hyperpop circles. i also think it’s SUPPOSED to be overproduced; it’s supposed to be a mess of emotions and sometimes a little chaotic. she executed it very well.

i hope by the time her next album is out, people will stop comparing her to like every single artist out there. some reviewers seem determined to pigeonhole her and compare her to every female artist under the sun, which feels like an absolute disservice to me. she is influenced by many different people and they comes out in her music, as it does any artist’s because everybody has their inspirations, but her sound is VERY much her own. as someone who has liked her for years, i can absolutely feel her essence in each song and nobody else’s.

a 10/10 album and such an amazing, promising debut<3  

[cas-kingdom]

Ok so for the ask could u literally do every single one for B M B? Because that story is my fave (and I miss it sm) And I wanna know the bts 😍😍 (ok if not btw there’s a lot so I understand!)

Omg yes this is a big one so a huuuge pat on the back to everyone who reads it😂 (couldn’t answer the bonus questions as I needed more for those but I hope these are okay!)

What was the motivation behind the story?

Well, I’ve always written Sherlock reader fanfiction, and I was just so interested with the idea of reader and Mycroft’s relationship evolving after Sherlock’s death. I had so many ideas surrounding it that a one-shot just didn’t seem enough, so I planned a big story and here we are!

What was your favorite part?

My favourite parts are unashamedly the sweet and fluffy parts ;) Especially when Mycroft & reader spent Christmas and Sherlock’s birthday together... those were so lovely to write and definitely a break from all the angst lol.

What was the hardest part?

Hmm... the part I’m writing at the moment is pretty hard. Mainly because it’s just focusing on reader and her time at school with her friends and all which, to be quite frank, I find boring to write considering there’s no Mycroft soo.... there’s your explanation for why the next chapter hasn’t yet been written! XD (Soon, guys, soon!)

What was the feeling it mood you were going for?

Mainly the fluffy family feel, you know? John’s still there, and his and reader’s relationship is to dieee for... as is reader and Mycroft’s! But we of course have the angsty feels though... shown in basically all of Sherlock’s scenes as we can see how much he’s missing his lil sis. :(

Who was your intended audience?

Anyone with a love for the show and Mycroft, really! I didn’t think I’d get many readers considering it’s mainly a Mycroft-centric story, but the response has been pretty great. Glad to know I’m not the only one who thought (and still thinks!) there’s a lack of Mycroft fics in our fandom lol.

Was there one scene you were building up to/knew you had to get just right?

Well, yes... but I haven’t reached it yet! It’s not so much a spoiler so I can tell you it’s reader and Sherlock’s reunion. That has to be absolutely perfect. 2 years is a long time and a looot will have happened in their years apart - for them both. This scene will be a bitch to write but I’m sooo looking forward to it!

What were you thinking when you wrote it?

‘It’ being the scene above or the whole story? If it’s the scene above, then as I said I haven’t written it yet, but undoubtedly I’ll be thinking a hell of a lot while I write it. :,) If the whole story... I think a lot of things. Mainly ‘oh shit this is cute’ and ‘oh shit this is sad’ and ‘oh shit my poor readers’.

Were there any tv shows, books, or movies that influenced this verse, if any?

Oh, I really wonder. #Sherlocklol

Was there a clear character arch you wanted____ character to go on?

Hell yes! For all my characters! For Mycroft, I wanted him to grow to be more ‘human’, if you will. For reader, I wanted her to mature and consequently make the reunion that bit harder considering the amount she will have grown. For John, I wanted to show his grieving journey as well as reader’s, and also tell my story of how he and Mary met (yeeeeees I cannot wait for that). And, probably most importantly, for Sherlock, I wanted to show how he dealt throughout those 2 years. It must have been extremely difficult for him as it was in the show, but adding a beloved little sister to the mix makes it all the more hard. Ahh. Angst.

Were there any scenes you were nervous about? For audience reception or otherwise?

I don’t think so... perhaps the scenes coming up in future chapters that deal with reader’s mental health.

Did you consider killing off any of the characters? Did you?

I meeeannn.....

Did you title your chapters? Which title do you like best?

Yes, I title all my chapters! Not sure how many of you noticed but each chapter is a song title. I think my favourite would have to be  ‘Un Nouveau Soleil’, which means ‘A New Sun’, perfectly symbolising the turn slowly taking place in both reader and Mycroft’s lives. Also a beautiful song that you can listen to here.

Was there symbolism/motifs you worked in?

None I can think of, though knowing me there are probably a lot in there.

Did you have a playlist/piece of music that went with this story?

Basically the song that I took each chapter title from! If you listen to each song, the chapter revolves around it. I chose each one for what it represents for the chapters. :)

Do you want to write something like this again in the future?

Probably not lmao. I’m not sure how you could fit this kind of story into another fandom! But I’ll definitely write more multi-chapters.

Did readers influence change any part of this story?

Not yet!! Though they probably will! ;) I only have planned chapters up to 25 or so and there will be more than that.

Would you go back and change anything if you could?

I don’t think so? Not yet, at least.

What’s a scene/paragraph you’re proud of?

I like this one from chapter 5!

‘A large oak tree stood tall and proud a few metres away from the newest grave in the yard. Its green leaves and brown branches swayed in the light breeze, residual raindrops clinging to the buds and falling every so often. The canopy of leaves easily sheltered the man hiding behind it, black coat collar turned up against the wind. His messy curls were flying about his face, but his blue-green eyes were still able to see it perfectly. Hear it perfectly. Every word was like a knife to his heart; a painful reminder that this was the last time he would see you in God only knew how long.

He took in a shaky breath before shutting his wet eyes. “Take care, little sister.”

And with that, he turned his back and left.’

What was the best piece of encouragement you got? 

Well... every single positive bit of feedback I receive for this story is my encouragement, so thanks you guys!! You all keep me and BMB (and all my other fics!) going.<3

Did you learn anything while writing it? About yourself? Writing?

That dealing with a loved one’s death is hard to write about. Experiencing it in real life is even worse, and in a way that helped me write the scenes where it shows any kind of grieving. It’s tough.

Any writing advice for people who want to write something like this?

Just go for it. Don’t let people have a go at you or be negative for YOUR fanfic. It’s called fanfiction for a reason. People write for themselves and for the people who they know will enjoy it ONLY. Don’t worry about anyone else. They have no business harassing you for writing a fictional story you’re not getting paid for. :) Good luck!

Read Brother, My Brother here.

[dojaeism-archived]

Ah, don't fret it asfhgkshj I hope you're feeling better after that not-exactly-a-break-but-a-break anyways! Ooh, is the same as Socio-cultural anthropology? I've found it quite intimidating for some reason but sociology along with it are both such interesting disciplines, maybe that's because it has to do with behavioural cycles; thus is close to Psychology in a way - ❄️

ive been trying to put these under a cut but i dont think they’re working ;-;

Wow your brain is incredible! I never liked theories in either Physics or Math but the practical parts and numerical analyses were always my strong point... Bio + Chem both made much more sense than any law or theory I have ever studied during the few years I had with Physics haha Ah, ok; I was confused as to whether it applied to blinding pink alone or other striking colours too! - ❄️

It was rather relaxing, and I used to be so happy if anyone complimented mine ;-; Oh, I did enjoy cooking/baking & drawing but other things I've taken up this year are gif-making + learning French because quarantine had me bored to no end 😂 I've still got a while before I start going to college so I'm also writing quite a bit these days! - ❄️

Mario Kart XD I think I'll give thought to that but omg you play Genshin? That's such a cool idea to play with, so many directions this crossover could go to! Oh god, how can one drink so much coffee? I like it too but you're on another level sjsjsjsjsjsj (pst, Uni; stop being so hard on her!) My day has been fluctuating too much for my liking; one moment it's good the next something just ruins it but I've been okay~ you too 🥺 have a wonderful day/night! - ❄️

im putting the asks all together as its easier to answer like this and i dont wanna clog my dash haha but hello!! i wouldnt say im feeling better, unis still kinda crazy rn but i managed to reschedule all my classes into the same few days so hopefully it’ll be better!! i hope you’ve been keeping well 💗

and yes, social anthropology is the same as socio-cultural anthropology but its just a different name i suppose. it is kinda intimidating, in the sense where there’s always a million different aspects of something to think about and to consider whenever you’re talking about anything, nothing is ever just as it is which gets a little frustrating sometimes bc its soooo open-ended haha but its definitely super interesting because of that! and you’re right, it’s super close to psychology too! a lot of my mates do like... soc. anthro with psychology or choose psych modules bc it ties in a lot with the main module, which is really cool! i think psychology is super interesting too, and some days i really wish i’d chosen it as a major instead hahaha

but omg noo my brain isnt incredible, i just really enjoy maths and so physics naturally as well, i wouldn’t say chem and bio were difficult subjects for me, but i just found them so boring compared to the rest that i never wanted to try 😭😭

oh i’d love to see some of your art someday! (not sure how that’d work but im sure its amazing welp) and you like to cook/bake?? that is sooo cool, do you have any fav dishes to make? i used to be a complete hazard in the kitchen before going off to uni, i literally didnt know how to do anything but boil water lmao but turns out that living alone forces you to learn a loooot, and im actually a p good cook now hhhehe and omg!!! i picked up gif-making in the summer bc of quarantine too 🤣 do you mostly gif exo only? i have like 6 different sideblogs so im always a mess abt giffing people hahaha how’s learning french going? mon français est si mauvais que c'est embarrassant 😅 and wow, when do you start college? 

ngl tho, i know absolutely nothing about mario kart, gaming in general is Not my forte unless you’re talking FIFA (literally the ONLY game i know how to play LOOOL) but yeah i recently started genshin bc my sister plays it and i was just sooo bored (if ur in the europe server, hmu!) but idk, i think it might be a genetic thing tho bc my dad doesnt drink anything but coffee (literally never seen him drink anything else my whole life) haha

i hope things calm down soon!! its so hard to keep up when things keep fluctuating, so for your sake i hope they get better 🥺🥺 take care of your health, and don’t stress abt things too much! <3

[burnedbyshoto]

if you sent any asks (recommendations for things don’t count as I have to look around!) since october 17 until october 22 it is in here :)

anon said: The header for your askbox response post is *aesthetic*. I think it’s a really good idea to post one every few days if you have the time. ❤️

well, thANK YOUUUUU!!!!! I put in a whopping 10 minutes into it because I had no idea what I was doing! i’ll definitely be doing asks this way now though.

big dick kiri anon said: !!!!!! ILY HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY PLS HYDRATE 💙💙❤️❤️ -bigdickkiri

Omg love! Please don’t worry about kinktober just breathe! Take your time and try to relax 💙❤️- bigdickkiri

DAMN, that is a LOT. Please look after yourself and don't stress about it love!! - bigdickkiri

I'm very excited. BUT PLEASE LOOK AFTER YOURSELF, DO NOT FORCE ANY OF THIS OMG - bigdickkiri

AHH, AMAZING, TALENTED SWEETHEART, GORGEOUS LOVE, HAVE A INCREDIBLE DAY AND HYDRATE - bigdickkiri

I believe I did have a good day, and I am actually super bad at hydrating, buT ILL TRY TO GET BETTER!!!!

I am breathing!!!! JUSTTT BREATHEEEE!!! I am taking my time now and relaxing to the best of my ability :D thank you so much bdk I love you with all my soul

theres always a lot, but if im not doing a lot I dont do anything so on one hand.... it’s okay LMAO but I will continue to try and not stress :D

BDK I WOULD NEVER WANT TO MAKE YOU THINK IM FORCING THIS OUT OF MEEEE ILL TRY MY BEST TO MAKE YOU PROUD

GHSOGHJIAORGJRGIRAHG YOURE AMAZING, BEAUTIFUL, TERRIFIC, INCREDIBLE!!!!!!! YOU HYDRATE AND MAKE SURE YOU KNOW THAT I LOVE YOU

@bread-theduck​ said: We love you and support you ❤ dont push yourself, your mental health is so much more important that kinktober haha. Take all the time you need, we're right here and open if you wanna talk~

I don’t really try to push myself... it just happens subconsciously D: but thank you for the love and support!!!! my mental health is stronger than I give it credit though

anon said: listen! we all appreciate you and your writing dearly but! I think we can all agree that we want you to be okay mentally and physically before you make yourself write! kinktober can wait! you’re more important!! at the very least, pls take a break for tonight.

I honestly can’t even remember when i said I was tired, but thank you for your kind words regardless!!!! I am trying to get better at it because i don’t want to disappoint you guys D:

@saintbullet​ said: Please take care of yourself!!! DONT risk your health for writing. We care about you so much! Be careful 💕💕💕

I know I push myself a lot, and i’m really sorry for scaring you all!!!! I am trying though, and it just has a lot to do with my mental fatigue and that im judging some hard classes right now then it has to do with anything

anon said: hey it'll be alright! idk whats wrong but i promise everything will work out like its supposed to! you just take care of yourself and take as much time as you need to feel better!! we love u!! ♥️

It wAS MY PERIOD I REMEMBER NOW AHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! I LOVE YOU TOOOOOOOO WITH ALL THE LOVE MY HEART POSSES!!!!!!

anon said: periods can be a pain so pls take care of yourself!! drink lots of water and rest up!!!

my period is the worst, if she was a person i’d block her and avoid her irl!!!!!!!!

anon said: Lol ok so gay for Mina anon back and no, I was not the anon who requested it. But lmao, let me take this time to whole heartedly thank that anon for quenching my thirst anyways

oh whoops, sorry for thinking you were someone else D: iM GLAD TO SEE THAT YOU WERE HAPPY WITH IT!!! READER WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A BAD GUY BUT I COULDN’T FIGURE OUT HOW TO MAKE IT WORK LMAO

anon said: I am just planning on hanging out and reading all the lovely writing that comes from this

i’m pretty sure this is about my nsfw/sfw headcanons, and honestly im sooo very excited to start working on them!!!!!!!!

anon said: you have no idea how happy I got when I saw u posted for mina like UGH MY WIFE I LOVE HER SO MUCH 🥺🥺🥺 N GIVING US GAYS AMAZING CONTENT UR AMAZING MWAH MWAH KEEP BEING THE PERFECT ANGEL U ARE 🥺🥺💞💗💖💕💓💝

AHHHHH IM SO GLAD YOU LIKED IT MINA IS LIKE MY FAV CLASS 1-A GIRL SO I LOVE HER SO MUCHHHHHHHHHHH YOURE AMAZING AND I LOVE YOU AND YOURE AN ANGEL!!!!!!!

many a anons said: Sorry I didn’t see the part where you said not to request characters that were already on the list I thought that was the list of character we could vote for.

so sorry I accidentally sent a character in that has already been requested, Tumblr didn't show me the follow up posts ;;

nooo I didn’t see the list I’m so sorry 😭😭😭

LOL ITS OKAYYYY. y’all were hoes and kept sending me shouto who I couldn’t even think about deleting from my list... so... you are lucky >:(

anon said: hello! not a request here but take care of yourself anc stay hydrated bb 🥰🥰

I got my water right next to me rn bby :D

anon said: be todoroki’s girlfriend

bitch I am todorokis WIFE, why would I need to dress up???

@girl-with-a-mentality​ said: You can be todoroni for Halloween.

....you right...

anon said: Thirst post infoo ;3 I found a doujinshi of Bakugo being teased and toyed with sexually with by Ochako, Yaomomo, and our lovely momma Mina

...send it

anon said: GIRLLLLLL

ANONNNNNNNNNNNNN ;)

local dumbass anon said: local dumbass is here once again, i thiink you know who i am and might've found my ig buuuuuut..?

uh.... I don’t know???????? I only followed people on insta if you gave me your handle or followed me first.... also did you cut your bangs?

anon said: Your Monoma scenario was really good!If we’re being honest, though, Monoma would literally start foaming at the mouth if he saw anyone from 1-A making physical contact with his s/o, ESPECIALLY Bakugou. They would have to call animal control because there would be a rabid Monoma in the dorms lol

okay... while you’re not wrong, I just thought 18 year old monoma should have grown up just the tiniest bit! plus his obsession is controlled because of his insecurity so LMAO IDK I JUST THOUGHT MAYBE UGH

@awkward-theaterkid​ said: I was reading your Day 19 Fic but I couldnt take it seriously, the title "My Way" kept reminding me of the Backstreet Boys "I want it that way" and it keeps popping up while I read it 😂

as someone who only heard that song because of b99 I read this and immediately thought of b99 LMAOOOOO

🍒💥anon said: URGENT PSA: LYSSA IS ABSOLUTELY AMAZING AND I LOVE HER -🍒💥

Hello Queen Lyssa, I finally read "And They Were Roommates" and have absolutely no idea why I put it off so long! ITS A MASTERPIECE. Each chapter is addictive and the slow burn and angst destroyed me 😭 The smut in the final chapter is flawless and sooooooooooooooooooo H O T. Shoto wasnt even my favorite character but he might have to be now (or at least in my top 3) 😰 This is my new favorite series and I cant wait to re-read it!!!! YOURE AMAZING AND ILY. You own my soul now -🍒💥

URGENT PSA I LOVE YOU CHERRY EXPLOSION AND YOURE AMAZING :D

ATWR holds a special place in my heart uwu.... HAOGHIOSRGSIOGJSIHG THANK YOU!!!!! SHOUTO IS AN AMAZING CHARACTER WHO I LOVE WITH ALL MY HEARRTTTTTT

~ thank you to @didyoumeanme​, @kittenlordofdarkness​, @soafers​ for submitting memes and animal pics for my rommate, much appreciated :D ~

anon said: Did the local dumbass anon ever cut their bangs? Do you know?

....I dont know, but I just asked her rn >:)

this paragraph is dedicated to those surrounding to the meltdown mess that occurred yesterday. to each and every one of you who sent me kind words via my askbox or directly contacting me, thank you. I really want to move past this because I feel by holding on it will make me feel less inclined to write because of my guilt. of course, I do not expect you to forgive me, or trust me in my story of how it went down, because at the end of the day it was my mistake for trusting in someone to write with pure intentions when I didn’t know if she could. im trying to continue on with my best foot forward and im grateful for those of you who trusted in me. I swear I will never push myself again, and that I will instead take my time in order to publish my original work and only my original work and not take anything that comes from a “friend”. know that I love you all, and I dont know how to take it easy so my break lasted a whooping 10 hours, and my blog won’t discontinue until im done with bnha or...I get into medschool which is still 3 years away, I am taking care of myself, im staying hydrated, im trying not to put myself down anymore, I will keep going, & will forever continue to be more careful with what I post. also, no one was really coming for me, so don’t worry if you thought so lol. (to you 9 anons who expressed their kind thoughts to me, thank you. to big dick kiri anon thank you. to @bqkubabey​, @flayvus​, & @ultimate-shit-poster​ thank you so so much you really helped me not drown myself in my own guilt.)

anon said: i hope you’re feeling okay today :((

I am feeling a lot better. unfortuantely I did make myself really sick yesterday because ive never been as stressed in my life ever, but im okay now. there’s nothing I can do more for what happened so I will try to continue on as best as I can and I appreciate you caring... ilysm :)

@ikinabi​ said: Your writing??? Actually god sent 🥵👌 and the way you write Mirio gets me GOING

BAHAHAH NOOOOO ITS NOT PLAFUAOGHJIPRAHAR MY MIRIO PIECE YOU LIKED WAS MY FIRST PIECE ON HIM AND OOO BOY I DID NOT DO HIM JUSTICE

anon said: fuck buddy iida is a thought that has never crossed my mind but now that i’ve seen your post i am intrigued haha

well... it is up :) if you wanna check her out :)

anon said: You dont have to answer if you dont wanna but i just wanna see if your okay. I hope your end your doing well and not stressing.

i’m doing much better than I was yesterday!!! I just needed to rest and calm down and stop attacking myself. thank you for checking in!!! it means so much :,)

[tachinanabananase]

makoharu fic rec list? 🙏

Oh gosh, where do I even begin with this!! So many fics I love, and sooooo many amazing authors, some who I’ve even been lucky enough to become friends with! I’ll do my best to include as many as possible and that I remember (it’s been a while since I went through my favorite fics, and I’ve read so many that keeping track is difficult. Like you really have no idea. there’s 24 pages of history in my AO3 account, and that doesn’t include one’s I’ve read while not logged in. So you can imagine, it’s hard to separate them all in memory).

But first, a few quick things:

 1. These are in NO particular order, just as I found them in my history :)

2. Sorry this took me so long to answer, I got caught up re-reading a few of them while I was trying to refresh my memory...

3. Don’t be surprised most of them are NSFW. I tend to filter my fics specifically looking for it because I’m a shameless hoe so sue me

4. My descriptions are super unhelpful and mostly just my thoughts about the fic but not actually a summary of it. I recommend reading the summaries and tags as they’re listed on AO3 for more details and sensitive content warnings! 

Here we go!

(NSFW)

Frenzied by Thesis - I always always ALWAYS recommend this fic. It’s one of those ones I still go back to and read sometimes. It’s wonderfully suspenseful, so angsty and full of delicious smut and has a happy ending, so like, what’s not to like? 1000% a favorite fic of mine.

Dead Reckoning by furiosity - lol my AO3 history says I visited this fic 55 times if that doesn’t say how much I love it I don’t know what else will 

I drove all night (to get to you) by maybeillride - This one is short, but I really like the way it reads, it has a great flow and overall the tone is just super captivating. The dirty stuff is brief at the end but it’s just descriptive enough to get you all warm and tingly inside :))))  

Winter in the City by relativestranger - This fic. I followed its updates religiously and the chapter titles are a gem. I really enjoy how this author takes the time to create a world and really paint the picture of each scene, plus I love college AUs that don’t try too hard to overdo anything. Also, slowburn is the key to my heart

Coral and Bone by @macbetha - Okay sorry if this one is obvious but Macbetha is a fic writing god in this fandom and honestly, I like this one of theirs best. Talk about mermaid AUs. Very immersive, well written as usual. I’ll be honest, I haven’t had the chance to read the last few chapters, but I’m sure they’re just as good as the rest of it. 

tomorrow, you might love me by nezumiprefersdanielleovershakespeare - Alrighty so I didn’t remember what this one was and I reread it and wow holy shhhiiiiiiiit this is something else. Mostly canon compliant with their high school storyline and domestic af. Plus the way this author writes is so captivating and also very Haru, it’s like spot on. Gives you the major feels, some healthy angst, and of course a wonderfully happy ending. 

Just Friends by FruitsOfPassion- if you know me and read my fics, you KNOW this is my kind of fic. Sloppy drunk mistake hookups that lead to lots of miscommunication and angst before they both realize they’re in love with each other. Also if I remember correctly, this one is v dirty ;) 

Touch Me by Gemmiel - okay there are so many good fics in this one series alone so I just recommend reading them all. The author is 10000000000%%% and there’s a really nice balance of smut and fluff and everything in between. Honestly just read everything by them it’s worth it! 

connotation by magicianprince - this freaking fic. This is the fic that deadass inspired me to write my whole Hot for Teacher series. I have no other words, it holds a special place in my heart because of that :) 

Can You See Me? by choking_on_roses (orphan_account) - another fic that heavily inspired me. I love Rockband AUs with all the glam and drama and of course, angst. Once again, fair warning this one is unfinished and I’m pretty sure abandoned (I know, I’m still sad about it too), but it’s a damn good read still.

Had we but world enough, and time by anditwasstinky (thewicked) - Mermaid au, hella long and an emo rollercoaster ENJOY

His Camera by LensMind - Makoto has a very dirty secret, and Haru happens to find out and simply cannot get enough of it. Very much a guilty pleasure fic, sooo juicy and the actual epitome of sexual tension and just ugh. I’d definitely consider it a favorite of mine...

Take Me Home by otp_tears - This one is really cool. A bit of sci-fi, memory loss, and a hell of a lot of angst. Basically Haru’s consciousness is transferred to a new body after he “dies” from an illness, and he has to deal with remembering who he is and his relationships while Makoto has to deal with separating the Haru he knew from the Haru he is now. It’s very sad but also a super interesting concept, the author did a good job tackling a difficult fic like this! 

2/13189000 by tothemoon - this fic is the ultimate rec. I see it in everyone’s posts, but i can’t NOT recommend it because it’s amazing. So there you go enough said just read it k thxbye 

Finger Slip by thoughtless_dreamer - phone sex fic ENOUGH SAID 

safe landing by heinsou - I found this on my fic-rec tag on my blog. It’s the way that the fireworks scene SHOULD have gone. Emotional rollercoaster but wow soooo worth it because this author makes you feel shit real good

(SFW)

A Kingdom For You and Me by @datheetjoella - I have an unending amount of loving words for this fic and this author. Joella has been a fic writing inspiration for me for I don’t even know how long. I can pick out her writing style without even looking at this point. She’s incredible, and has written plenty for than just this fic which I also HIGHLY recommend (and not just because one of them is a special gift for me :3)

Me Too by Flightless_Bird - Ohh ho ho I remember the first time I read this, it gave me major goosebumps. Basically Makoto shows up for one of Haru’s swim meets and there is hella sexual tension right before Haru’s race  It’s one of those fics that makes you wish there was a 10,000 word sequel for... other things...

Between the Raindrops by westgate - Makoto is home alone during a rainstorm and Haru is his knight in shining armour! I’m weak for protective Haru and first kiss fics, and this one is certainly a gem.

The Voltage of Our Heartbeats by @datheetjoella - another Joella fic (not surprising lmao) but this one really gets me because coincidentally, her and I were both working on power-outage fics at the same time when she wrote this. I really loved hers though, so I couldn’t resist putting this one down too hehe

Okay I’m running out of patience and quickly realizing theres so many fics I love I could work on this ask for days so here’s a second Fic Rec post I made a while ago with some repeats and a few others that are definitely worth a mention. It might be more helpful too because when I made it I actually was currently reading some of them or remembered a lot of them better.

I hope this is some sufficient reading material for you, anon! And please don’t forget to check out the fics of yours truly as well hehe 

[mariaaamaaarquez]

the second one- where does this start?

okay okay so I guessss this is the part where I kind of have to talk about myself since honestly truly now that I think about it- not a lot of people know MY story.. its usually me asking to someone else what theirs is and why they are the person they are, but sometimes not even my closest best friends know, because they never asked? weird, I know lmao. buuuut okay where to start right? well I was born in Guatemala, September 21st 2001, for the ones who didn't know hahah aaaand I was a happy kid. always a happy kid. to keep the long story as short as possible, moms filed for a divorce, father said no. for my fifth birthday though, they both wanted to take me to Disneyland, in Cali. this meant that we had to get a tourist visa from Guatemala granting us permission to leave the country, which for those of you who don't know how that process works, its HARD. somehow we managed to get it, and a few weeks later I was celebrating my birthday in Disneyland. that was when my mom made the decision to run away from my dad. obviously telling this story now, I know we had family in Virginia. and being an immigrant traveling with your also immigrant daughter as you're already in the United States- not so hard. I woke up to my mom packing bags, she just told me to go back to sleep and that we were going to the beach later that day. I, listened to my mom, and proceeded to waking up basically in an airport. just like that my life had shifted. we flew into Virginia, and proceeded to living there, hiding for six months. hiding was tough. my father had even filed a missing child case basically saying I had been abducted. Amber Alert who, right? During my time there, I did start to notice money coming in, we would go shopping, and I would get random presents out of nowhere. AAAAnd thats where my stepdad comes in. Once again, to summarize, my (now stepdad) had been in contact with my mom ever since they were high school teenage sweethearts. when my mom split up with him, it was because he had decided to flee to the United States and stay as an illegal immigrant. that’s when she met my father and had me- talk about a cockblock. anyways I soon came to find out that all the money and presents coming in, were from him. he came to Virginia for Christmas, also took me to New York for the first time and I got to get hello kitty EVERYTHING inside that Toys R Us- and then we came back home to Virginia and I was completely in awe of how good this man was treating me and my mom- aaaandd thats when they dropped the bomb on me. We were moving to Seattle. shortly after making that decision, it was January of the year 2006 and I was on a plane (again) and headed to my new life, with a new dad, and SOOO many new toys. I was happy. 

Fast forward a few months, moms is pregnant, has my brother in 2007, I can suddenly speak and understand English FLUENTLY, and I have an entire new family. As if it couldn't get crazier, my 3rd grade year, my biological dad reached out to my mom, told her he was in town. I had no idea until we stepped into the closest mall by my house, and there he was. Live and in the flesh, it was my father. I ran into his arms and obviously balled my eyes out, and I just couldn't believe it. 

Fast forward a few years, he visited again and then after that visit went kind of MIA. No more emails, or letters, and most definitely no calls. When I turned 13, I still waited for that phone call, waited all day for my mom to tell me “your father’s on the phone” and nothing. Until it was 1AM, September 22nd, and my mom told me THATS when he called. 1 fucking am here, meaning 3 am over there, basically the day after my birthday. After that year, noting stayed the same. No longer waited, or anticipated, just- nothing. I later came to find out through social media, that he was having a daughter. Insane. I couldn't believe it, but part of me saw it coming. I mean this is what I wanted right? for him to move on and start his new life, and I didn't care anymore if I was a part of it... right? On my 16th birthday, he called. By this time I wanna say my little sister was probably around 3 or 4, (still hadn't gotten a call, until now.) When he called me I was in the middle of a small get together with just family, my boyfriend and bestfriends at the time had already left and I heard the phone ring. my mom looked at it and went silent, and showed me the phone. I knew who it was. I recognized the number. and I didn't want to answer, but I needed answers. 

so I pick up.

“hello?”

“hi mija, god how I've missed you I can't believe I actually got a hold of-”

“stop.”

you can’t believe you got a hold of me? you never tried.

I proceeded to basically cussing him out, and asking about my sister. You know when you accidentally rat yourself out to your parents by saying something you shouldn't have? yeah thats exactly what happened to my not so dearly beloved father. he basically spit out that my sister’s mother was the same bitc- lady, that my dad had cheated on my mom with- go figure! no wonder the woman ran away from you, jesus. 

“look, im sorry. god I am so sorry for everything I promise I will make it up to you what do I have to do?”

“never speak to me ever again. just like how I was basically dead to you and had no right to know the truth about everything, as far as im concerned the only thing that connects us is blood.”

he ruined my 16th birthday.

never talked to him ever again.

fast forward to my senior year- tf when did that happen?

I’m in Washington DC on a school trip (so much fun by the way AMAZING) and I call my mom to say hi and catch up (actually just calling because she was across the country and if she didn't hear from me she’d think I was dead inside the White House or something, hispanic moms, you know) and she then proceeds to tell me that she saw on Facebook (once again this damn social media) that my dad had just became a father, again. another baby sister. also that he had been living back and forth from Germany to Guatemala. 

sounds like a blast daddy dearest. 

(yeah he has a lot of money by the way, still waiting on the child support from the past decade but its good HAH) 

FAST FORWARD AgaIINNN to March of 2019. 

I became a legal resident of the United States, free to travel in and out of the country without a problem, free to work wherever I wanted, free to go to college and actually have a social security number when im asked for it- just simply free. 

April 2019. 

The month I got the chance to go back to my beloved Guatemala for the first time in thirteen years. THIRTEEN. To not bore you with all the details of my trip, on the last night, fate decided that it was time, and yes ladies and gents, there he was, in the flesh, my father. I always call him “father” and my stepdad “dad” just because all that other guy did was help with the process of me being born he was never a real dad to me ever, as heart wrenching and harsh as that may sound. so fuck him. seriously, fuck him. I saw him, with tears of anger streaming down my face and my entire body shaking, and he walks up to me crying.

he leans in for a hug.

“not a step closer don’t you dare touch me.”

he walks away and disappears into the crowd of hundreds of people, and I proceeded to having the worst panic attack I have ever had. paramedics asking if I was okay, my mom on the floor with me as I was sobbing and screaming, and everyone scared out of their minds because suddenly I felt trapped in a ball of water with no air as everyone watched the color of my skin slowly beginning to fade until I became white as snow. when I snapped out of it and finally calmed down, I cried. god I cried so damn much. I was so hurt, mostly because part of me thought he would take a stand for once and try. just try. even though I told him not to I knew a part of me wanted him to, but he didn't. and he disappointed me- just as I expected he would.

haven't heard of him since.

that was almost five months ago. and that leads us to today, the present! and thats my story, without all the minor details because with those included id have people reading for hours. But, even after this longgg ass post, if you're still here hi! thanks for reading, and for being interested in my story? not a lot of people tend to be, but if im gonna be writing on here I might as well include it- right?  

anyways- yep thats me, this along w other crazzyyy things are part of what shaped me to be the person I am today. As for my family? My mom, my dad, and my little brother? I’d take a bullet.

and as for my father? 

I don’t know,

I don’t bother to ask,

I don’t care.

besitos,

ria.

[beelieveinfandom]

Sethany

Some stuff from the chat about a noncat that is godmod canon the new main character of the AU. Someone write this fic please.

matt-Today at 2:16 AM hey y'all okay so thought: u know how black cats always look like the void with eyes when u take a photo of them right? here's my idea, void with eyes that vaguely resembles a cat and is taken in by an old lady with failing eyesight

LumiKat117-Today at 2:17 AM Sooo it would look like a cat

((Also cats are the best ever))

matt-Today at 2:18 AM old lady: hey look at my cat i love him anyone with actual functioning eyes: ................... uh

BeelieveInBees-Today at 2:18 AM What does this blob of void feel like?

LumiKat117-Today at 2:18 AM Pffft yeah Soft silky fur Like how Nightmare wool feels like real wool just uber soft and silky

matt-Today at 2:19 AM oh yeah of course the void is soft and silky smooth

LumiKat117-Today at 2:20 AM What would its name be?

BeelieveInBees-Today at 2:20 AM Mittens

matt-Today at 2:20 AM whiskers

LumiKat117-Today at 2:20 AM Ebony

matt-Today at 2:20 AM oh no i change my mind mittens is better ndksksksksk

BeelieveInBees-Today at 2:20 AM Something really stereotypical

LumiKat117-Today at 2:20 AM Lol

BeelieveInBees-Today at 2:21 AM This old lady isn't the most creative person on the planet but damn does she love her "cat"

matt-Today at 2:21 AM or maybe something like an actual human name like timothy or geronimo

LumiKat117-Today at 2:21 AM I like Ebony

BeelieveInBees-Today at 2:21 AM Sethany

LumiKat117-Today at 2:22 AM Sith

matt-Today at 2:22 AM SETHANY

LumiKat117-Today at 2:22 AM Sith like from Star Wars

matt-Today at 2:22 AM no that's the name of her other cat who is like. a default grey tabby

BeelieveInBees-Today at 2:22 AM Are you implying that Miskebonany might be evil??

LumiKat117-Today at 2:23 AM Pffft

BeelieveInBees-Today at 2:23 AM How dare you imply that Miskerbonany might be anything other then a perfect darling

LumiKat117-Today at 2:23 AM No

BeelieveInBees-Today at 2:23 AM So what does Sith think of their "sibling"?

LumiKat117-Today at 2:23 AM I think that it would be like the most affectionate 'cat' ever

matt-Today at 2:24 AM i'm not sure if it's funnier if sith ADORES little sethany or can't stand it

LumiKat117-Today at 2:25 AM How about both? Like one moment they would be cuddling and then the next they would be hissing at each other

BeelieveInBees-Today at 2:25 AM Well, Sith would be hissing. The other one doesn't make noises

they just

ooze

LumiKat117-Today at 2:26 AM Lol

matt-Today at 2:26 AM they don't knock stuff of tables they.... absorb

LumiKat117-Today at 2:26 AM Lmao

matt-Today at 2:27 AM "sethany darling have you seen my glasses" [a shlurping noise is heard offscreen]

LumiKat117-Today at 2:27 AM My two cats kinda get along but the smaller one won't let the bigger one get close or she swats him

matt-Today at 2:28 AM m̸̀͡ę̢̀o̗͇̕w͜͏̝

LumiKat117-Today at 2:28 AM Lol

BeelieveInBees-Today at 2:29 AM Oh god and they don't meow, they literally say "meow" like a human would total monotone.

matt-Today at 2:29 AM YES like text-to-speech

LumiKat117-Today at 2:29 AM YES And it sounds like Siri

matt-Today at 2:30 AM hey sethany do i have any appointments today? m e o w

LumiKat117-Today at 2:31 AM What if Sethany and the old lady actually talk but to anyone else they just hear the monotone meows?

matt-Today at 2:31 AM hmmmmmmmmmm i'm conflicted because it's Quality when it's one speaking normally and the other in monotone meows

LumiKat117-Today at 2:32 AM Like they just think the old lady is crazy and she just thinks her cat is special and purrfect

matt-Today at 2:32 AM you say that like sethany ISNT special and perfect haha nice

LumiKat117-Today at 2:32 AM I had to

matt-Today at 2:33 AM of course

LumiKat117-Today at 2:33 AM And it is purrfect and special Oh What if it LOVES CAT PUNS

matt-Today at 2:34 AM oh fuck yes when someone tells a really bad one they hear m e o w m e o w m e o w and sethany comes patting around the corner

LumiKat117-Today at 2:35 AM And it just curls up in their lap until they tell it all the puns they know

BeelieveInBees-Today at 2:35 AM Which sounds cute until you realize it's really more of a hostage situation. You cannot get up if Sethany is on your lap

you just can't

matt-Today at 2:36 AM they are Here and therefore you are Also Here

tinylittlegremlin-Today at 2:37 AM

LumiKat117-Today at 2:37 AM It's like you've become a purrmanent fixture of the furrniture Lol yes Gremlin

tinylittlegremlin-Today at 2:38 AM Ots supposed to be sethany

Sethany cannot be photographed

matt-Today at 2:40 AM i mean they CAN be photographed but..... it's not really sethany

BeelieveInBees-Today at 2:40 AM

LumiKat117-Today at 2:40 AM YES

tinylittlegremlin-Today at 2:42 AM Yes thats it

matt-Today at 2:42 AM YEAH sethany the void cat folks i think we just won the transcendence au

tinylittlegremlin-Today at 2:43 AM

matt-Today at 2:43 AM it's not gonna get better than this

BeelieveInBees-Today at 2:43 AM That's really cute somehow?

tinylittlegremlin-Today at 2:43 AM Sethany in the dreamscape

matt-Today at 2:44 AM perfect amazing wonderful

tinylittlegremlin-Today at 2:44 AM

BeelieveInBees-Today at 2:44 AM oh that's good

tinylittlegremlin-Today at 2:45 AM Void with eyes Sethany is best notcat

matt-Today at 2:47 AM

"m e o w" -sethany

BeelieveInBees-Today at 2:53 AM Cuddling Sith

tinylittlegremlin-Today at 2:53 AM gasp

Zilleniose-Today at 2:53 AM okay guys I'm reworking tau, alcor is no longer the main character

matt-Today at 2:53 AM o h m y

Zilleniose-Today at 2:54 AM all hail sethany

BeelieveInBees-Today at 2:54 AM A L L H A I L

tinylittlegremlin-Today at 2:54 AM Sethany is the one

H A I L S E T H A N Y

matt-Today at 2:54 AM rip alcor 201?-2017 you won't be missed because we have sethany now

Zilleniose-Today at 2:54 AM

A L L H A I L

tinylittlegremlin-Today at 2:55 AM ALL HAIL

LumiKat117-Today at 2:55 AM Daww

BeelieveInBees-Today at 2:55 AM 2014-2017 ftr

LumiKat117-Today at 2:55 AM Pffft What if Sethany and Alcor were friends?

BeelieveInBees-Today at 2:56 AM Okay so now we need to figure out exactally where Sethany fits into the AU That would work

tinylittlegremlin-Today at 2:56 AM Sethany is alcors notpet

BeelieveInBees-Today at 2:56 AM although Alcor tends not to like cats, how would he feel about a "cat"?

Zilleniose-Today at 2:56 AM please... can sethany float too, like. this little old lady sees an amorphous floating cat, drifting sideways and saying "M E O W" and sees nothing wrong with this

tinylittlegremlin-Today at 2:56 AM Even he doesnt know what it really is But it comes to him for food every now and then

LumiKat117-Today at 2:56 AM It could be like the personification of the void in his hat

matt-Today at 2:56 AM sethany ABSOLUTELY floats

LumiKat117-Today at 2:57 AM Catification*

Zilleniose-Today at 2:57 AM just kinda. like a lava lamp.

very slowly. blooping

matt-Today at 2:57 AM they kinda drip a little too i guess the old lady thought they were wet when she found them?

"sethany where HAVE you been it's a gorgeous day outside"

tinylittlegremlin-Today at 2:58 AM (i love sethany and everything it is and is not)

Zilleniose-Today at 2:58 AM no mouth to be seen. how it eats and talks is a mystery

tinylittlegremlin-Today at 2:58 AM One not even alcor knows.

matt-Today at 2:58 AM noises just kind of....... emanate

LumiKat117-Today at 2:58 AM Would it be an it or would it want to have a gender like Xie?

tinylittlegremlin-Today at 2:58 AM Food is just kinda... Absorbed

Enveloped

BeelieveInBees-Today at 2:59 AM I think I'm going to keep using they/them for Sethany

matt-Today at 2:59 AM phagocytosis

Zilleniose-Today at 2:59 AM I think if you asked sethany's preferred pronouns, they'd reply "M E O W"

tinylittlegremlin-Today at 2:59 AM And it because whatever it identofies as is incomprehensible to people Think of the paperwork

LumiKat117-Today at 3:00 AM Hey Bee, you should make a fic for Sethany

matt-Today at 3:00 AM the old lady taking sethany in to be microchipped tho

BeelieveInBees-Today at 3:00 AM But I already have so many fics anyway I'm not great at stuff without much plot

LumiKat117-Today at 3:00 AM Oml that would be funny

tinylittlegremlin-Today at 3:00 AM 'lady we cant do that'

Zilleniose-Today at 3:00 AM this is perfect bc I too, am an amorphous blob of only semi-existence that sleeps most of the day and likes mice

tinylittlegremlin-Today at 3:00 AM 'lady it doesnt have a body'

LumiKat117-Today at 3:01 AM Like the vet is just so awkward but the lady is just so sweet and they can't really say no

matt-Today at 3:01 AM 'lady please i'm telling you this is not a cat'

Zilleniose-Today at 3:01 AM "yes sethany is very unique" "that's. that's not."

LumiKat117-Today at 3:01 AM But she's so insistant So they give up trying to convince her and try to chip Sethany anyway

BeelieveInBees-Today at 3:02 AM Floating

matt-Today at 3:02 AM ooooooo i love it

LumiKat117-Today at 3:02 AM And the chip... works?

BeelieveInBees-Today at 3:02 AM The chip constantly states that Sethany is in about 15 different places at once

LumiKat117-Today at 3:02 AM They have no idea how

matt-Today at 3:03 AM the vet: ???????????? the lady: see, that wasn't so hard was it dear

tinylittlegremlin-Today at 3:03 AM It breaks the vets sanity each time sethany gets brought in

LumiKat117-Today at 3:03 AM Pffft I can just imagine that an intern sees Sethany and is like, totally chill with it Oh, what if the Old Lady is a R!Lazy Susan?

BeelieveInBees-Today at 3:04 AM Oh that's how we could tie them in. One of the Pines goes into animal medicine And be that intern And be like "hey grunks, you gotta check out this cat"

LumiKat117-Today at 3:05 AM Pffft No wait What if the old lady IS Lazy Susan?

BeelieveInBees-Today at 3:05 AM That would be great actually Sethany just shows up to the diner one day Just wanting to absorb some pie tins.

LumiKat117-Today at 3:06 AM @GODMOD Someone should post this to the Tumblr

BeelieveInBees-Today at 3:06 AM And Suzan just scoops them up and starts talking And Sethany falls in love

tinylittlegremlin-Today at 3:06 AM Yeeeees

BeelieveInBees-Today at 3:07 AM I can screencap it

LumiKat117-Today at 3:07 AM Welcome to the AU Sethany Now someone needs to write a fic where Sethany meets Alcor when the Pines Clan come to the Diner Maybe the Trips are like, 18?

tinylittlegremlin-Today at 3:09 AM The trips love them

LumiKat117-Today at 3:10 AM I can see the trips cat sitting

tinylittlegremlin-Today at 3:10 AM Hmmm, maybe before the trips are born but after henry? Think, sethany triplet sitting

matt-Today at 3:10 AM no that's a bit of a risk they might.... absorb the children they'd come out okay but

LumiKat117-Today at 3:11 AM Nah, I think Sethany can control the absorbing

matt-Today at 3:13 AM oh yeah they can definitely control it

BeelieveInBees-Today at 3:13 AM Sethany can definitely control the absorbing or Suzan would be in big trouble

matt-Today at 3:13 AM whether or not they want to no one tells cats what to do, void notcats included unfortunately nsjsjsjs this is a joke btw sethany wouldn't eat a child

BeelieveInBees-Today at 3:14 AM not unless they were a really annoying child

matt-Today at 3:14 AM problematic customer? no more

LumiKat117-Today at 3:16 AM lol BeelieveInBees-Today at 3:19 AM That just makes me think of Sethany as actually working at the restaurant

tinylittlegremlin-Today at 3:20 AM Yes  

[herdustisverypretty]

Question tag for AO3 writers~~

I found the original questions on AFF a while back, and I thought since I’ve been tagged in so many meme things lately, I’d also tag a bunch more people in this one XD Since the questions were designed for AFF, I’ve reworked some of them to fit for AO3 writers. I also removed two questions rather than trying to translate them to AO3 terms.  So, I’ll fill out my answers first, and then put the blank questions again at the bottom for you to easily copy and paste! 

1. How did you come up with your username and what does it mean?

'Her dust is very pretty' is the last part of a Dorothy Parker poem called Epitaph for a Darling Lady. Dorothy Parker is the only poet I’ve ever liked. I usually detest poetry and find it stupid and annoying. But I like most of hers. I used this as my first tumblr URL too. It’s just kind of my name now. I’ve been using it since 2010. 

2. Which fanfic of yours has the most feedback? (bookmarks/subscriptions/hits/kudos)

Subs is Chemicals with 177, bookmarks is Neko at 116, hits is Chemicals at  18600, and kudos is Chemicals again with 694. Stats are weird. 

3. What is your AO3 profile icon and why did you choose it? 

It’s ahegao Kuroko lmaaaaooooo. I chose it cause I love slutty Kuroko. 

4. Do you have any regular/favourite commenters?

Quite a few actually. Maybe too many to list even... I’d say High_Noon and Goldfasan are the ones I recognise or see the most?

5. Is there a fanfic that you keep going back to read again and again?

I don’t actually read that much fanfiction? Which might be odd for someone who writes a lot of fanfiction. Idk I tend to find a few really good ones and then reread them for eternity and never look for anything new. Though tbh I haven’t read fanfiction for a number of months now. I’ve been too busy, or too stressed (and definitely too autistic). 

6. How many stories are you subscribed to? How many do you have bookmarked? Subbed to 7 fics (most of which are really old and will never be updated, or are friends’ stories). I have 231 bookmarks. Apparently. I have no idea what they all are, because only 30 of them are my OTP, and I only started bookmarking last year, and again, I don’t read much. I think AO3 is lying to me. Likely, as it lists my subs as 67, but I counted them and there’s only 7 in there plus 2 author subs. Conspiracies. 

7. Which AU do you find yourself writing the most?

I define AU as ‘completely unrelated to the main plot’ so, if the KnB characters were in fuedal Japan. I use UA (universe alteration) to define things such as if a KnB story followed the general main plot (basketball) but had changes to it, such as omegaverse (though I don’t consider ships UAs). With that said, tbh I don’t think I have one? I write a whole range of stuff. I don’t think I lean towards any particular AU or UA. 

8. How many people are subscribed and bookmarked to you in total? (you can view this on the stats page)

Total bookmarks: 1285 Total subs: 504

9. Is there something you'd like to write about but are afraid of people judging you for it? (Feeling brave? If so, share it!)

Honestly I don’t think I’m ashamed of anything by this point. I’m probably one of the most non-judgemental and open-minded people you’ll meet, so I kinda have no shame with that. Like, I won’t judge other people for having weird interests, and therefore don’t feel any shame for my own because I see no reason to have a problem with it. If people don’t like my writing they don’t have to read it. No one’s forcing them to. 

10. Is there anything you would like to be better at? Writing certain scenes or genres, replying to comments, updating better, etc. 

I’m mostly okay at replying to comments, sometimes I won’t reply if I don’t know how to respond or I’m busy/tired. Unless I feel like there’s no reason to further reply to a comment, I’ll usually try to reply later (sometimes months....). I need to get better at putting description in instead of just rushing through something and shoving it at the internet saying “I’M SICK OF IT JUST TAKE IT HOW IT IS”. Ideally it would be nice to update more frequently and consistently but that’s something that will never change due to my mental and physical health sooo. Whatevs. 

11. Do you write rarepairs or popular ships more often?

tbh I think it’s arguable if even the more popular ships I write are even that popular. The most popular ship I write is Akakuro I guess? I do write a bunch of rarer pairs (Mayumibu hghghghgh also Aoaka yes) occasionally though.

12. How many stories have you posted on AO3 to this day (finished and unfinished)?

87. Which I feel like is a lot considering I did about 50 of those in one year. 

13. How many stories do you have saved in/with your writing program?

39 in Google Docs. Possibly. I’m half asleep and may have missed some. I have a crap tonne more in MS Word, but I don’t want to count them all. Oh, fyi, these are only for my current fandom. I have other stories in Docs and Word that are original or other fandoms. 

14. Do you write down story ideas, or just keep them in your head?

Write everything down. Either in a document or just in the notes on my phone. 

15. Have you ever co-authored a story?

No, but I’d like to. It sounds interesting. 

16. How did you discover AO3?

An uh, ex-something found it in 2013 and showed it to me. I liked it more than FF.net, which always gave me a headache with it’s shitty UI and layout, and Livejournal, which was either dead or didn’t exist for my fandoms back then. Does anyone still even use those 2 sites as their main story platform?

17. Do you consider yourself to be a popular or famous author in your fandom(s) on AO3?

Not at all. I might say I am possibly known or recognised, but I definitely do not think famous or popular at all. Far from it. 

18. Do you have a nickname or fandom name for your readers?

Does anyone? I’m not published yet lmao and neither am I a Korean idol so uhhh, no, my readers do not have a nickname or fandom. 

19. Was there an author who inspired or encouraged you to write?

I would say no. No one prompted me to start writing when I was little, I just did it cause I liked it. Even when I started writing seriously, and when I started writing fanfiction, it was all me. I guess there have been writers who have inspired me to get better though? Namely Mikssi and goseum-dochi. 

20. What writing advice would you give to a beginning author?

I was once told that if you can't think of anything to write just put SOMETHING on the page. Be it a date or a title or an idea. Just get something on the page. I now start every story by dating when exactly I started it (yes even the exact time). It's less intimidating that way. Writing down my ideas also helps me plan. 

21. Do you plot out your stories, or do you just figure it out as you go?

I often have a general idea or at least ideas for future chapters. But mostly I just bullshit my way through it lmao. It often backfires. 

22. Have you ever gotten a bad comment on a story? If so, what did you do?

The only negative comment I've gotten on a story that really upset me was once being called insensitive when referring to sexual abuse. It really offended me because. Um. You... do not know my past experiences. At all. And I'm not going to bring them up because of that. But wow. And it bothered me too that they called me insensitive when I was just writing from experience. Like ok. Sure. Cool. I mean I could see where they were coming from, but I’m going to take a guess and say they had never experienced what I was writing about.  I’ve gotten a couple of other negative comments, but they didn’t upset or ‘get to me’ so much as just piss me off due to the stupidity of them. 

23. Is there a certain type of scene that you have a hard time writing? (action, smut, etc..)

Action. 

24. What story(s) are you working on now?

Uhhh, I guess mostly right now I’m working on Nano, and one other story. I have unfinished and ongoing things, but they’re on the back burner right now. 

25. Do you plan your next project(s) before you finish your current ongoing story(s)?

To a really problematic degree. 

26. Do you have a daily writing goal set for yourself?

Definitely not. Way too much pressure. Do not need. 

27. Do you think you've improved as a writer since you first started?

My god, yes. From my early original (shite) stories of 2007-2009, to my really early (also shite) fandom fics in 2011-2012, to my explosion in the VIXX fandom (at least 80% shite), to now... My goodness. I’m actually in the half-hearted process of editing old AO3 fics to be easier on the eyes. Mostly that’s relatively minor changes. If I went back to AFF. Hoo. I’m highkey scared of looking at some of those again. 

28. What is your favorite story that you've written?

I guess I’d say Chemicals. It’s a story I always wanted to do, and I’m happy with how it turned out. I also have to make mention to NMT, since that thing was my life for like 2 years, and writing it helped a lot. I also am quite fond of what I refer to as my ‘cat vampire story’ aka this. I also don’t mind my story Wanderlust. I think I put more effort into that one than I do with most things I write. 

29. What is your least favorite story that you've written?

MMMMM I can think of it and I don’t want to acknowledge its existence at all. IT NEVER HAPPENED AND IT WAS A MISTAKE. Also NMT. 

30. Where do you see yourself (as a writer) in 5 years?

Probably not published yet but goddamn will I try (not very hard though)

31. What is the easiest thing about writing?

For me it's writing dialogue. Chat room/text message based dialogue is especially fun.

32. What is the hardest thing about writing?

Starting and ending the story (or, if it’s a chaptered story, ending the chapter). Also liking your own work. And not comparing yourself to others. And holding onto the hope that maybe one day you’ll actually be successful and you should keep going. 

33. Why do you write?

idek. It’s fun? Satisfying? It arguably sometimes entertains people? Gives me something to do. Unleash all that creativity bopping around up there. idk. Do I need a reason? 

Anyways that’s all the questions, so I’ll put them here as well without the answers to easily c+p.

1. How did you come up with your username and what does it mean? 2. Which fanfic of yours has the most feedback? (bookmarks/subscriptions/hits/kudos) 3. What is your AO3 profile icon, and why did you choose it? 4. Do you have any regular/favourite commenters? 5. Is there a fanfic that you keep going back to read again and again? 6. How many stories are you subscribed to? How many do you have bookmarked? 7. Which AU do you find yourself writing the most? 8. How many people are subscribed and bookmarked to you in total? (you can view this on the stats page) 9. Is there something you'd like to write about but are afraid of people judging you for it? (Feeling brave? If so, share it!) 10. Is there anything you would like to be better at? Writing certain scenes or genres, replying to comments, updating better, etc. 11. Do you write rarepairs or popular ships more often? 12. How many stories have you posted on AO3 to this day (finished and unfinished)? 13. How many stories do you have saved in/with your writing program? 14. Do you write down story ideas, or just keep them in your head? 15. Have you ever co-authored a story? 16. How did you discover AO3? 17. Do you consider yourself to be a popular or famous author in your fandom(s) on AO3? 18. Do you have a nickname or fandom name for your readers? 19. Was there an author who inspired or encouraged you to write? 20. What writing advice would you give to a beginning author? 21. Do you plot out your stories, or do you just figure it out as you go? 22. Have you ever gotten a bad comment on a story? If so, what did you do? 23. Is there a certain type of scene that you have a hard time writing? (action, smut, etc..) 24. What story(s) are you working on now? 25. Do you plan your next project(s) before you finish your current ongoing story(s)? 26. Do you have a daily writing goal set for yourself? 27. Do you think you've improved as a writer since you first started? 28. What is your favorite story that you've written? 29. What is your least favorite story that you've written? 30. Where do you see yourself (as a writer) in 5 years? 31. What is the easiest thing about writing? 32. What is the hardest thing about writing? 33. Why do you write?

People I’m tagging @justsimplyl | @6ubble-gum | @the-chibi-sempai | @humanitys-shortest-soldier | @friendlyslowpoke | @kelandry5 | @someone-stole-my-shoes

Fill out the questions and tag more authors you know ^^

[selfcareparker]

(lovely anon) ok so this may sound so dramatic but; let me paint you a picture: i’m responding to your latest message, sitting on the edge of the sofa. i type in “lovely anon” into the search and see this longgg post come up and i’m like uhhh... i scroll down and see the people you tagged and literally. when i saw @ lovely anon. i . cried . like full on tears. my brother goes “what are you doing” “she tagged meeeee” and he continued what he was doing and didn’t care LMAOO but i was so emotional? i love and appreciate you too and aAH IM CRYING!! you’re just really sweet and i didn’t expect it at all and it was really lovely to be a part of something :’)

the kermit pic sent meee but yes yes yes!! when you start uni let me know, lol i’m so excited for you!! let me know how it goes cuz i’m literally hype hahah & yes we will be in our sad corners of the world, missing england but you’re right it’ll be sooooo worth it in the end!!! and oH i’m glad you talk to them lol i truly thought you like haven’t seen them/haven’t spoken to them this whole time😭 that would’ve been awful!

also i totallyyy get what your saying about the english speaking thing. and idk why you’re insecure (well i *knowww* bc it’s not your first language and you’re studying it in college so yuh) but your english is great :)))

lol yeah that makes sense.. my mom took french in college and she remembers NOTHING HDJSHSJ (the fact that you wanna learn MORE languages i- ahh i so admire you.. you literally know so many languages🥺) yea i mean you know a bunch of languages bc you know the base of words lol, but i wonder if because you know latin it’ll be easier for you to learn french? oh- oh wait you said it’ll be easier HAHHAHA

THERES SO MUCH EXCITING STUFF TO TALK ABOUT HDGSJSJSL it’s so wild to me that you can’t watch chaos walking :( i’m a professional hacker tho so i’ll try and find a way for you LMAO (by professional hacker i mean i literally have gotten multiple free trials and i’m pretty sure the hulu police are after me bUT ITS THEIR FAULT BC WHY IS IT SO EXPENSIVE???) i mean the movie was good? and cute? and funny? but yea don’t think it’s gonna be the most fantastic thing haha AND THE DOGGO AWWW (i saw it again today- or my today lol, saturday, aND THESE OLD PEOPLE CAME AND SAT IN FRONT OF ME AND MY FRIEND LIKE ITS A LONG STORY LMK IF YOU WANNA HEAR IT)

SHARK FILMS?!?!! PLEASE READING THIS I HAD NO IDEA YOU WOULD LIKE SHARK MOVIES TOO FHSKSHSHDJDJGAJAYSJS ok so i haven’t seen any of the classics (i’m working on it) but i would probably watch jaws to laugh at it? not like that lmao but like comparing it. OKAY BUT HONESTLY I BARELY KNOW ANYONE WHO LIKES SHARK FILMS AHHH OKAY im adding “the shallows” to my watchlist bc it sounds super good AND SAME AHSJD ANY BODY OF WATER IN A MOVIE I JUST KNOW ITS COMING LMAO watch me not go in the water anymore after seeing that picture HHDJSJ

WHEN I READ THIS I JUST GOT DONE TALKING TO MY MOM ABOUT THE MEG AND THAT SCENE WHERE THE SHARKKK JUMPEDDDD AND ATE THE OTHER ONEEEE AND THEN JONAS HAD TO DO- bro i cannot (i think that one is my favorite because i love me a bit of romance and the subtle romance hAD ME) 47 meters down PHEW could you imagine?? i try not to think too hard about it i’m like “don’t be dumb catherine, don’t put yourself in a dumb situation” (not autocorrect having “dumb bitch” ready i am not lying) and i literally understand... there is no other way to explain 47 meters down

i CANNOT watch horror movies, can’t can’t can’t, i literally hate them i cannot do it!!! the thrill is tempting and it’s cool in the moment but i cant lmao. i don’t have nightmares about scary things (for the majority of the time) but going to sleep i’m like oooohhhhhh shit 🥲 literally what you explained

music !!!! music !!!! music !!!! (u ever write a word and now it looks weird lmao) MY BROTHER DOESNT LIKE MUSIC AND ITS SHIT IM LIKE WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU- anyway, my music taste is all over the place i mean......... it’s crazy. earlier today i was listening to meghan trainor’s album “title” oUT OF NOWHERE, but just a few minutes ago i was listening to fall in love with me by earth wind and fire soooo lol .. megan is *chefs kiss*, i’m not familiar with stormzy🙈, harry styles.... IM SORRY IM THAT PERSON but i don’t listen to his solo music EEK i only listen to adore you... and not that frequently... the music video freaked me out... i like niall’s solo music a lot more, which i listen to a lot more. now. one direction. favorite. please & thank you. i have a playlist called “boy bands” and it consists of one direction and the vamps (obsessed with cherry blossom btw) but as you can see my taste is all over the place!! fr fr if i sent you what apple music has as my “favorites” it went from ariana grande to carrie underwood to glee (OBSESSED DONT LET ME TALK ABOUT IT) i mean please if you let me i will nonstop (hamilton HDJSH) talk about music all day😩 & NOOO UR MUSIC IS GREAT HAHSK IM NOT A BIG RAP PERSON BUT DOJA CAT IS MY FAVORITE!!

okay good, i’m glad :) i was just nervous that you did feel that way <3 and GOT IT HAHAJ healthy pressure is always good :’) my friend got me these pens cuz i love stationary and school supplies lol and was like “now you have to write something” soooo yea i feel that! and i saw you posted the ficcccccc literally so proud of you 🥺🥺 i’m trying to decide if i read it tomorrow or tonight..... sleep or a literal beautiful creation made by the sweetest person and is v v nice smut and college!peter and 4.7k...... sleep aint really calling no more.

GIRL ALL OF MY SENTENCES ARE TOO LONG HAHAHAH IN FACT THIS IS TOO LONG SOOO (also why am i 3 days late..😑) anywho it’s 1 in the morning so <33 lovely anon

🥰

oh my god the fact that you cried nearly made me cry too😭😭🥺🥺 (also, your brother LMAO), i wasn‘t even sure if you‘d see it but i immediately thought of you so of COURSE i included you <333

the hulu police lsjsjaiaik, girl i was ready to get a hulu membership when i wanted to watch big time adolescence and i couldn‘t find it anywhereee, and when i got to the payment it said i need a bank account that‘s based in the US or whatever. like bro i was about to pay you!! but i was forced to find it somewhere (and i did, on levidia,— not that i‘ve ever used it because it‘s illegal 😤 i would never!!! i‘d rather support billion dollar companies and spend my money on watching films that i can find for free 🥰🥰🥰 not

i‘ve found chaos walking online so i‘ll watch it som time this week!! also YES TELL ME THE STORY

okay so idk if you watched/are planning on watching falcon and winter soldier but i watched the first episode the other day and they were speaking french (just a few seconds) and I UNDERSTOOD SOME WORDS DLDJDJ and i was so proud of myself. i‘ve only ever learned french with duolingo lol (i only do like 5 mins a day and that‘s why i was so surprised that i understood some of it!!). and yeah apart from latin i feel like italian, german, french and english are all similar in a sense.. i mean obviously they‘re completely different languages but for example there are some grammatical constructions in french that i think i wouldn‘t understand if i only spoke english? so when i translate those things into english you can‘t directly translate them bc you say things differently, but when i translate them into german then it makes more sense to me. idk that‘s something i noticed so i feel like if you already know multiple languages it‘s easier to learn another language compared to if you only know one language and are trying to learn a second one. even if the languages aren‘t similar then i think you get the hang of it easier.

ikd slsjsjs also i don‘t want you to think that i‘m a linguistic genius or anything lmfao, like i‘m only fluent in english and german and i‘m just a wannabe (ew that word) polyglot sksj (yes i had to google polyglot— i do think learning ancient greek would be super cool tho? like imagine studying latin AND ancient greek, whew). and honestly i don‘t think i‘ll ever be fluent in another language bc i don‘t plan on living anywhere other than germany or possibly england and i‘m not dedicated enough to properly learn any other languages esp if i don‘t have anyone to speak the language with. but i still try my best and i just love language/languages as a whole so yeah i‘m happy & just learning as much as i can dkdjh🥰

(I guess language/linguistics are/is my passion (which sounds sooo lame lmaoooo) and the word passion comes from the latin word pati (i think💀) which means to suffer, and in german passion is called Leidenschaft which basically means suffering too, idk why i‘m telling you this maybe you know it already. but ok dumb fun fact, in german you can make compound words with as many words as you like, and the longest official german word is Rindfleischetikettierungsüberwachungsaufgabenübertragungsgesetz which is a law for the monitoring of labels on beef... this is such a dumb fact but i think about that word like once a day idk why dodjsjsj so... 👁👄👁)

but i‘ll stop boring you with my linguistics talk because truly i don‘t know much about languages but i am interested omg i‘m gonna shut up now.

now water + sharks. (so in non-covid times i always go to croatia with my dad during the summer, and even before ever watching a shark film i was always kind of scared in water.. but after watching so many shark films wldjdj HELP Like you know when you go deeper into the ocean and you can‘t see or feel the ground/floor? anymore.. then i just start imagining sharks. like i can‘t help it i just imagine a shark sneaking up on me or feeling something graze my foot ABD I JUST START FREAKING OUT SSKJSHSJ. idk. anyway kdkdh i do love the ocean/swimming though but the older i get the more i realise how fucking scary the ocean is ( even if we’re gonna disregard sharks)

your brother... what‘s wrong with him? HOw CAN YOU NOT LIKE MUSIC LIKE WHAT THE FAWK

OKAY BUT SAME ABOUT THE ADORE YOU MUSIC VIDEO DLDKDJSJSKSLSLKSKSJSHSH and yeah i have to say harry’s style (styles lol) as a solo artist isn‘t reaaally my cup of tea, and i only like the popular songs from his second album and the first album is only good when i‘m in the right mood (haven‘t actually listened to it in a while though, but kiwi is one of my all time favourites along with only angel but i hate the start, like it takes 40 seconds to actually begin properly). i like mgk and because of him i watched the dirt which is a film about motley crue, and now one of my favourite songs ever is same ol situation and i‘m into rock now lol. +++ justin bieber. I had a justin bieber cardboard cutout thingy😭 i was the biggest Belieber on earth when i was 13-16, but i didn‘t like his last album and tbh he‘s become a bit weird lately, BUT OH MY GOD. i Listened to his new album yesterday and i‘m in LOVE with the song hold on

i really like niall‘s music toooo!!!! And doja cat 😌😌😌😌 And THE VAMPS OG MY GOD. i got to see them live bc they were the opening/support act for little mix and ajdsjskslslsjsjsj. (Also i love concerts, some of the best memories of my life are concerts, i‘ve seen nicki minaj live 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 and justin twice and my heart fills every time i think about how excited i was, it was my first concert ever (16th of September 2016 😌) and i was the happiest person alive seeing justin drew fucking bieber (even if i‘m not tooo sure about justin nowadays)

i have a confession? Idk what hamilton is. I mean I‘ve heard about it and i keep googling it but i‘ve never watched it (is it even a film???? or like a proper musical? also pls tell me you grew up with high school musical. i have a few friends who didn‘t and it makes me so sad 😭😭😭 hsm is the best thing to happen to my childhood , the sooooongs— i still listen to some of them every week or month lool they make me so happy)

(Okay wait i was about to recommend some stormzy songs but you said you‘re not that into rap so i won‘t dksksjl)

What you said about my fic AHSLSLSJB (i wasn‘t sure if you sent an ask about it earlier? idk that might have been someone else, so if it was (and you‘ve read it already) i hope you liked it sksjsj i was...... unsure about it. and i have this reeaaallly long peter fic that i started writing in december and that‘s the only peter thing i currently want to write but also i can‘t because idk how to continue kddjj.) but I’m definitely getting back into writing i have a few blurbs that i want to write so 🥰🥰🥰

Oh and pls as soon as you read this let me know: violet or yellow? (it‘s just a tiny thing for my new theme slsksj)

[ndrv3imaginess]

How the guys and their s/o became interested in eachother

Apologies for not posting for a few days, im gonna start doing the requests now :’)

Kaito Momota

- U and Kaito started to already like eachother because u guys like the same music

- U were wearing the shirt of ur fav band/artist and when Kaito saw u he even needed to calm his shit down before talking to you

- he walked up to u and asked if u listen to them too??/?

- Honestly his smile was so adorable when he asked u that

- U nodded and he started to ask u a bunch of questions like why u like them and what ur fav song is and hes really happy to talk about them with u

- And eventually u saw that most of the music u listen to is also in his playlist

- Talking about your fav band/artist or just music in general with him is so much fun!!!

- And it doesnt matter if ur good nor bad at singing, in the end of the day u sing almost every song of ur fav band/artist with him wich makes u both laugh till u got tears in ur eyes

- Also he shows u maaany more music artists and groups ud be interested in!

- Even if u guys dont have anything to say to eachother u can always talk about music, that’s for sure :)

Kokichi Ouma

- U were in this guy class and honestly u decided not to talk to him, like at all

- He gave u odd feelings

- When School ended and u were about to go home u saw the purple hitler Ouma at the locker room

- Ofcourse, u were like ‘shit’

- But when u saw Ouma’s face-

- He s blushing??????? 

- Like?????? Why is this guy looking like that?????? why he so cute????

- He walked up to u while u were obviously looking like u were about to run

- When he started talking it felt like there was 20 years added to ur lifespan like this guy his voice is straight up cute

- U legit forgot why u were avoiding him

- He said really nice stuff to u, and was lowkey trying to impress u tho 

- U guys started to talk more and u really enjoy the conversations!!

- Whenever he sees u he automatically smiles, like its his thing now

- Though he does goes from adorbs to evil time to time, u were able to accept that side of him, even though it was a little hard at first 

- But its not a problem anymore because now u guys are really happy with eachother!!

Kiibo

- U swear to god u saw him flying around once 

- It made u think like: ‘’whoaaa i wanna meet this robot guy wowie wow wow’’’and since then u started looking for him evERYWHERE

- But on ur first day of highschool u saw this guy and he was also in ur class and-

- S/O.EXE stopped working

- Though u decided not to go to him like a crazy fangirl or anything, u kept it cool and went home (cause it was the end of the schoolday at that moment)

- But when u turned around to look at him for one last time the guy was standing in front of u and u stopped working again

- When he talked he talked so formal like he used some words u never heard of

- It was actually really cute because he was stuttering the whole way true it, and u could see he was actually quite nervous to talk to u

- And when he asked u to introduce urself, instead of freaking doing it, U asked if he could fly

- Wich made ur school / classmates giving u a weird look but kiibo was happy to answer that question!

- He explained that it was one of his rlly dope robot functions and he ended up talking about all the other functions he has-- yet he still spoke very formal to u wich is adorable 

- In the end of the conversation, u could see he actually had a nice time meeting u, and after talking more to eachother, he became to really like u (yet he doesnt know what that feeling means)

- U guys always have stuff to learn from eachother, u explain stuff about humans and society, and kiibo about robots and the way theyre created

- So its a win win for u both!!

Korekiyo Shinguuji

- I legit have no idea to write this one sorry v.v

- Let’s say u found eachother at club penguin and ended up falling in luv

Rantarou Amami

- U always thought this guy was suspicious as hell

- Once ur bike was stolen and the next day u saw this guy with a bike really similair to urs

- Though he told u multiple times he had this bike for a long time

- Whatever he does u always have a something to say about it, like u still dont forgive him for sort of stealing ur beautiful green bike

- U don’t hate this guy, u just dislike it when he makes an appearance

- Even when ure a complete ass to him it doesnt look like he has any problems with it?? he is still really chill to u??

- He even once asked u to eat lunch with him and his friends

- U are confused like why is he still being nice to u?? U swear u saw him a little irritated at someone at least once

- Though u didnt want to admit it, it did made u more interested in him at some point

- So the next time he asked u to eat lunch with his friends u said yes

- U know, maybe he is a very nice person

- And yes! he is actually very nice!! U guys have a lot in common!

- Also Amami is a very chill person, and u can talk about kinda anything with him, hes very understandable + is good at listening 

- And u probably confused the irritaded guy with him, u can’t image this guy loosing his chill to be honest

- But u do need to survive his bad dad jokes

- Though it did took some time for u two to actually become lovers because u were STILL salty about the bike thing

Shuuichi Saihara

- U love to read!! But when u were in the local libary near ur house, u always saw the name ‘Suuichi Saihara’ in the back

- It acc annoyed u and ofcourse u needed to make a competition out of it

- U started reading all the books that has his name on the back, like u even ended up pulling an all nighter to finish one of those books

- Though u do admit this Saihara does have a good taste in books

- One day u were reading in the libary, and ended up falling asleep cause u obviously have an lack of sleep

- When u woke up the libary was closed while u were still IN THE LIBARY AND UR LIKE NOOoh

- But u also woke up with a really dope hoodie buT UR BUSY PANICkING

- Hours later when u decided to have a sleep over at ur favorite place u started wondering where the hoodie came from

- The next day u tried to fake sleep because u. wanna. know. who it was

- Then a hour(s) later u felt someone putting an scarf around ur neck lmao

- U turned around and saw a guy with a cap and ur like oh and u dont know what to say because u didnt expect to acc come this far

- He started blushing like crazy and u were suprised, he looked so mysterious but instead hes really cute and shy 

- U both introduced urselfs and Saihara is like ooh!! i always wanted to meet u cause u love reading as much as i do! i see ure name in the back of books a lot too

- And ur like bruh i see ur name on a lot of books too, but then he explained that he did that just for u to notice him and like how adorable even is that lol

- Since then u guys started to hang out in the libary a lot !!

Gonta Gokuhara

- He was acc the one starting to talk to u

- He once saw u taking care of a spider, instead of killing it u carefully took it and put the spider outside the school back to the nature

- He was very thankfull!! Because insects for this guys are like his own children

- Aside deadly ones, u were never really scared nor disgusted by insects

- But when this guy was talking about them, it makes u feel like theyre more than insects tbh

- He shows u how to take care of diffrent kinds of insects, and it made u actually interested

- Whenever ure asking questions, he s glad to answer! Cause it makes him not only feel at ease, but really happy too!

- Whenever he talks about insects with you, hes always smiling and he has that excitment in his eyes

- Even though u guys know eachother for months and are dating now, he still talks formal to u + has the same excitment in his eyes whenever the subject is about insects

Ryouma Hoshi

- U guys already knew eachother since elementary school

- So u can say u guys were childhood friends, though, he moved so u didnt talk to eachother since six grade

- U remember when u both were like 5 he once kicked u and u ended up with ur head in the sandpit

- And u guys always put sand in eachothers hair + pants/skirt or just straight up underwear

- But it made both of u laugh and yes u guys became friends because of it

- Many years later u were about to go to the police for an school project; u needed to interview one of these police offiecers about how they do their work--

- But then u saw this very little guy walking out of the front door like yes btches im finally free after all these years 

- And u recognice this guy like immediately and when he looked at u U SAW HIS SMILE SLOWLY DISSAPEAR LIKE

-  ‘’Oh... Hey Y/N looong time no see huh? ahah...ahahah..ha’’

- Let’s say his laugh was so awkward it made u cringe inside

- But the fact that it was ur friend from sooo many years ago made u very excited and idk he thought it was adorable

- After talking alot he started explaining the reason why he was in prison and u were shook at first but u saw despite his actions he was still like the same nice guy from elementary school

- And u both decided to hang out with eachother more 

- After some time u guys ended up having feelings for eachother too!! :)