#god i cannot believe i stayed up this late to watch a fucking romcom

[sexybabystevie]

LOBOTOMY.

[gorgeousdan]

the great colin conundrum

summary: Dan’s boyfriend breaks up with him, and Phil does his very best to get Dan to realize they’re perfect for each other. Unfortunately, Dan’s oblivious and his dog, Colin, is out to ruin Phil’s plans. word count: 2200 warnings: slight angst in the beginning, heavy kissing, slight presmut, i swear like a sailor prompt: “something where dnp are best friends when they are younger (maybe high school age) and dan has a dog that phil doesn't like but eventually warms up to as he falls in love with dan or something lame like that” Listen to the playlist here

Phil loves his best friend Dan - honestly, he does.

They’ve been friends since primary school - so basically as long as Phil can remember. Dan is smart and talented and hilarious, always there to help Phil with his calculus homework (despite being younger than him), sing High School Musical with him (despite the fact that Phil can’t sing) and be player two in Crash Bandicoot. Basically, Dan is the best friend ever.

Except for one thing. Dan’s dog Colin.

Ever since Dan’s family had brought home Colin - Dan had showed Phil over Skype - the dog has had it out for him. Among various transgressions, the dog has literally eaten Phil’s homework (imagine explaining that to your teacher), pissed on his drama script (again, a fun explanation), and has eaten half of Phil’s very expensive sandwich.

And then there’s the fact that Phil cannot get within five feet of the thing without having a sneezing fit. On top of everything Colin has done to him, Phil’s allergic. Which is a blast.

He often has to take Benadryl just to be in Dan’s house. Which is why he’s in Tesco’s after school when he should be at home or at Dan’s - pretending to do his homework while he plays video games instead.

His phone chimes in his back pocket with a text, but he ignores it as he looks over the labels. He’s considering getting extra strength Benadryl in case Colin attacks him when his phone chimes again. And again. And then it rings.

He answers without looking. “Holy shit, what do you want?”

“Phil?” It’s Dan’s voice, but softer, shakier sounding. Phil’s been friends with Dan for long enough to know what he sounds like on the verge of tears, and his heart instantly breaks into a million different pieces.

“Dan,” he says softly. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry. What’s wrong?”

“It’s-” Dan gives a little sob and Phil picks up the Benadryl, walks onto the queue where he’s behind an elderly woman with two full baskets, good lord. “It’s Chris.”

Chris, as in Dan’s boyfriend. Phil knew Chris was no good for him, but he had never interfered before because Dan seemed so happy. Now, he feels miserable. “Oh god,” Phil says. He looks at the old lady in front of him, who seems to be moving so slowly that Phil wonders if he entered the fucking Matrix, and then back down at the box of Benadryl.

He sighs. “I’m coming to you, okay? Stay there.” He hangs up the phone and puts the box down, then books it out of Tesco’s as fast as he can without looking suspicious.

He drives to Dan’s house perhaps a little faster than legal. Luckily, he doesn’t get pulled over before he pulls up to Dan’s house. He gets out of his car and barely even knocks at the front door before Dan answers - drowning in a hoodie, his face red with tears.

Phil pulls him into a hug. “Hey,” he says into Dan’s hair. “Let’s get you inside.”

They somehow manage to stumble inside and Phil closes the door behind them. Dan leads Phil wordlessly to the kitchen and doesn’t sit in a chair - instead slides to the floor with his head in his hands. Phil doesn’t even think about the possibility of Colin coming to attack him, he just sits next to Dan and wraps an arm around him.

“What happened?” Phil asks after a long silence.

Dan sniffles. “H-he said that he could do better than me.” His voice barely shakes on the words but he sounds so defeated - almost like he believes the asshole. Phil has never wanted to go to someone’s house and punch them in the face more. “I’ll never be good enough for anyone.”

That’s enough to get Phil out of his head. “Hey, that’s not true,” he says softly. He wipes the tears from Dan’s eyes with the back of his thumb. “You’re amazing, Dan. Any guy that can’t see that is an asshole.”

In a moment akin to a romcom, Dan looks up at Phil through his tears. Phil pushes a piece of Dan’s hair back so he can look Dan in the eyes. The two of them stare at each other for a second and Phil can’t believe he’s never noticed how beautiful Dan’s eyes are. He gets a hand under Dan’s chin and the two of them lean in.

At that exact moment, Colin decides to jump on Dan and knock him away from Phil. Dan laughs and Phil would be mad at Colin if Dan’s laugh hadn’t made him so happy.

Phil stands up quickly and clears his throat. Dan looks up at him from where he’s sitting on the floor playing with Colin. “I-” Phil clears his throat, suddenly finding it hard to breathe. “I’m going to get Starbucks. Do you want anything?”

“Yeah,” Dan says. “You know what I like.” That sentence leaves a stunning realization in Phil’s chest. How could he have never noticed just how perfect they were for each other before?

“Of course,” he says instead, and quickly makes his way out of Dan’s house.

Dan and Phil have been best friends for as long as Phil can remember. Phil can’t remember ever having romantic feelings for his best friend. Sure, they have a much more physical relationship than male friends usually do, but he had always chalked that up to the two of them being more fluid in their sexuality than typical friends.

Still, all the hugs and cheek kisses, cuddling and late night movie sessions, Phil can’t help but think those would be so much better if he could lean over and pull Dan into a kiss.

Phil comes back with the two cups of coffee and a firm resolution to tell Dan how he feels. However, that plan goes out the window as soon as he walks in. Dan is asleep on the couch, cuddling with Colin. It’s cute, sure, but Phil can’t help but sigh a little in disappointment.

He swears, Colin gives him a smug look.

It seems after that, Colin is out to sabotage his relationship with Dan before it even begins.

Phil stops by a florist after school to buy flowers for Dan. He’s personally never understood the appeal, but they make Dan smile and that’s what he’s going for. He knows that Dan’s commute home is a little longer than his as Dan takes the bus, so Phil sits in Dan’s living room with the flowers and waits.

Unfortunately, he forgets that he’s put the flowers down, and it isn’t until Colin returns with a rose stem that Phil realizes that the flowers have been torn apart.

The next time Phil tries to impress Dan, he writes him a poem in drama. To be fair, he’s not the world’s best writer, but it’s from his heart and Phil hopes that’s all that matters. He’s been sitting in Dan’s room for a while, the both of them listening to music and working separately on different homework assignments, when Phil remembers the poem.

“I’ll be right back, I wanna show you something,” he says, and if Dan notices the way his heart is beating out of his skin, he doesn’t say anything. Phil walks to the corridor where he left his bookbag leaning against Colin. He goes to pick it up and Colin latches onto the handle. When Phil tries to grab it from him, all the papers spill.

Colin then proceeds to stand over the pile and piss.

“Hey, what’s taking so-” Dan stops from where he’s moved to the doorway and gasps. “Oh, bad doggie!” He says. He shoos Colin away and grabs some paper towels. He’s cleaning the mess when he looks up at Phil and says, “I’m so sorry. I hope there was nothing important.”

Phil breaks out of his stunned silence and leans down to help Dan pick up the piss-soaked papers. Gross. “It’s fine,” he lies.

When the mess is done and they both wash their hands, Dan turns to Phil. “So,” he says. “What did you wanna show me?”

Phil sighs. “It’s nothing,” he answers.

At that point, Phil decides to throw all of his plans out the window. They’re stupid anyway. He decides he’s just going to be direct - wait until a moment when Dan’s eye catches his and they’re staring at each other and Phil can get a hand on Dan’s cheek and pull him into a beautiful first kiss.

Dan will fall for him for sure.

The first perfect moment, they’re watching a movie. Phil makes a joke and Dan laughs. He turns to Phil, and his eyes are shining in the gentle moonlight streaming through the window. Phil actually feels his heart catch in his throat and he swears Dan moves in closer. He brings a shaking hand to move Dan’s hair out of his face and gets a hand under his chin. His heart is pounding hard as he moves in and-

Colin jumps in between them. Dan lets out an awkward little laugh and pets Colin’s head. He throws Phil an apologetic look and turns back to the movie as if nothing ever happened.

Phil’s not sure if Dan’s completely clueless or just fucking with him at this point, honestly.

The next perfect moment, they’re eating dinner on the floor like responsible, mature people with a table. Dan tells Phil he’s got an eyelash on his cheek and Phil asks him to get it. With the gentle back of his thumb, Dan gets the eyelash from Phil’s cheek and offers the thumb to Phil. “Blow it away, make a wish,” Dan says under his breath.

Phil takes Dan’s outstretched hand and moves in closer, closes his eyes and wishes for at least a shot with Dan. He blows it away and opens his eyes again, and finds Dan’s eyes transfixed on his lips. He decides that’s as sure of a sign as any from the gods that he should go for it. He moves in close, almost connects their lips.

And Colin jumps on Dan, knocks him out of the way like a sports play. And that’s the exact moment when Phil decides he’s done fucking around with Colin.

Phil waits a few days before he goes over Dan’s again. He takes a deep breath before he walks in - he doesn’t need to knock - and makes a beeline for Dan.

“Dan,” he starts. His best friend looks up, vaguely startled by Phil’s resolute expression. He’s got books spread out in front of him - clearly working on some sort of project for school. “I need to talk to you about something.”

“Okay,” Dan says slowly. He takes his earbud out of his ear and places it on the table. “I’m all yours.”

Phil takes a deep breath. “I-” Then he spots Colin sitting around the corner, waiting for the perfect moment to strike. He looks between Dan and the dog and says, “excuse me.”

With sheer willpower, he manages to get Colin into Dan’s room and he locks the door. Pleased with himself, he returns to the kitchen and sits across from Dan. “Dan, I-”

They’re both startled by the sound of Colin barking. Dan laughs a little bit and stands. “I should let him out,” he reasons.

Phil almost watches him go, really, he does. But then he decides ‘fuck it’, because it’s now or never, and he drags Dan into his lap and kisses him.

Dan doesn’t respond for a second, which scares Phil, but then he’s kissing back with the force of a man who’s been denied something for way too long. He gets a hand into Phil’s hair and sinks into Phil’s lap. Phil wraps an arm around Dan’s waist and pulls him in closer. Dan makes a little noise in the back of his throat that Phil wants a fucking audio recording of - honestly.

Phil picks Dan up - quite a feat considering they’re the same height - and stands. He gets a hand under Dan’s ass to support him but doesn’t break the kiss. Dan’s arms move to around Phil’s neck so at least it’s easier to stay still as they kiss. Phil walks them to Dan’s bedroom slowly and kicks the door open with his foot.

Of course, Colin attacks almost as soon as the door is open. He jumps on them, and Phil is so startled that he falls backwards with Dan on top of him. Dan rolls off in shock, and Colin immediately takes his place, licking Phil’s face and clawing at his chest.

Dan starts laughing - Phil supposes it is funny, in hindsight - as Phil tries to wrestle the dog off of him. “Colin-” Dan wheezes through laughter, his cheeks red and his eyes watering. “Colin, Colin, bad. Leave-” he’s laughing too hard to continue.

Phil immediately manages to get Colin off of him and sits up. And, as he watches his best friend laugh, he finds he doesn’t really care that Colin interrupted them this time.

Even as his allergies kick in.

AUTHOR’S NOTE

so maddi is the first place winner of my fanfic giveaway! it finished at the end of june and i’m just now getting around to writing this fic i know i’m a horrible human being i had school lmao

it really was so fun working with them! they’re so nice and their blog is so beautiful, i definitely recommend checking them out and giving them a little follow!

i asked them for their music taste and they said they wanted feel good pop songs, which i hope i delivered. check out the playlist, it was super fun to put together and i binged it while writing this.

if you liked this please, please consider giving it a reblog. those help the blog to grow and give me motivation to actually write instead of binging netflix lmao.

check out the rest of my writing here. 

thank you i love you

-hunt <3

p.s. i’m sorry this took so long pls don’t hate me bye

[the-old-dip-and-stir]

Shake It Off

Pairing: Dean x Reader (ish)

Word Count: 1,494 

Warnings: Dean being a cutie, date gone awry, Dean and the reader are best friends but it doesn’t go much further than that, drinking, cussing

Summary: Reader is upset after a date and Dean tries to make her feel better

A/N: This is for @deansdirtylittlesecretsblog‘s RomCom Fluff challenge. It was a pain in the ass, but I got it done and I’m pretty happy with the results. Btw this is my first time writing spn fanfiction so if my Dean isn’t good, apologies. I picked a line from Friends With Benefits and used part of it, which will be in bold.

Prompt: “It’s not you. Nothing is wrong with you. He’s a guy. You gave him a five date challenge, he got you and cut out. Forget the douche! He’s a dick. He’s a dick douche.”

It’s not unheard of to have a bad date or two, but this date had to be the worst Y/N had ever been on by far.

It was going so well too, she had gone on a few dates with this guy. He was handsome, funny, well-mannered, and a dentist. He was so perfect and of course, of course, he was married. She should’ve known; his name, Barry, should’ve been a red flag. It should’ve been so obvious, seriously what guy with his life together hasn’t probably settled down?

It wouldn’t have been so bad if his wife hadn’t come into the restaurant, and… oh man. Could she even call it a scene? The poor woman was distraught. I mean, finding out that your husband was cheating has got to suck, but finding out that your husband is cheating while the two of you are going to marriage counseling has got to be absolutely awful.

So here Y/N is, coming back from what she thought was going to be a wonderful date rather early. Time for the good ol’ Winchester “cure” for all your problems.

 –

Dean is just finishing up a call with Sam when he hears the bunker door open and slam shut. Looking up, he sees Y/N back from her date. She was back awful early.

“Hey Smalls… how’d your date with the dentist guy go?”

She doesn’t answer. And she’s on her way to the kitchen. Oh boy, not good.

She’s already digging through the liquor cabinet when Dean catches up with Y/N. The woman doesn’t even look at him.

He can tell by the way her mouth and shoulders are set that she’s upset. Okay, he can do this. Not the first time she’s been pissed about a date, but this is kind of different. So he tries to do what any good friend does.

“You doing okay there?”

She still isn’t answering him. In fact, she’s probably so pissed, she can’t hear him. Fuck, he doesn’t know how to handle this. He’d usually just go and look for the guy then kick his ass, but knowing Y/N she probably already took care of the guy herself.

Dean isn’t necessarily bad with emotions, he’s just never really dealt with bad dates. When you’re a hunter, you don’t really have time to. The most romance you get is a good lay from some bar dweller. Dean’s tried before but using that dating app ended up in gaining a hunt, so he deleted it and just settled with the standard hookups.

Y/N is his friend, his best friend, and she’s always been a good listener and problem solver. Dean wants to give back, but he doesn’t even know where to start. She’s usually the one to pick him up when he’s down, literally and figuratively.

She’s finally found the bottle she was looking for; George Dickel, her favorite whiskey. Now Dean knows something is wrong.

“Look, Y/N, if you don’t want to talk-”

She grabs a tumbler glass and starts walking away. Damn it.

“Y/N!”

“If you need me, I’ll be in my room, drinking away my feelings.” She throws over her shoulder.

She stops just before entering the labyrinth of hallways and sighs. She looks at Dean, giving him a sad little smile.

“See you in the morning.” –

Y/N has watched five episodes of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt and drank about half of the George Dickel when she finally breaks down. Why the hell did she even try? Ah, yes…it’s because she’s a hopeless romantic. One would think after years of hunting, she would be jaded in every aspect.

Maybe that was the problem. Y/N had this little sliver of hope that she’d possibly find someone to fall asleep with, come home to; perhaps settle down with, but we can’t always get what we want, sadly.

Sighing, she rubs away her tears, ready to call it a night… but something catches her attention. Listening more closely, she realizes that it’s music. Y/N can’t really hear what’s playing, but Dean is the only other person in the bunker, so it’s probably his music.

She grabs her whiskey and glass, deciding to put it up, maybe give Dean a hug to say she’ll be okay. You know, best friend stuff.

Y/N can already hear Dean singing and the smell of burgers before she walks into the kitchen. She stops in the doorway, watching Dean. He’s doing a dramatic air guitar solo, powerslide and all, to “Stairway to Heaven”.

He sees her just before the last line of the song, holds the spatula out to her like a microphone, she laughs and goes to take it from his hand.

“And she’s buying the stairway to heaven.”

She sings the last line and Dean’s grinning like he won the lottery. He takes the spatula back and pauses the music. He flips the cooking patty.

“So how you feeling, Smalls?”

Y/N shrugs while putting away the whiskey, and leans against the counter after rinsing out the tumbler.

“I feel a bit better, I guess.”

Dean flips the patty he was cooking onto a plated bun, throws a slice of cheese on it, and slides the plate over to her. Y/N turns to pull all the burger toppings out of the fridge, while the older Winchester throws another beef patty on the skillet.

“You wanna talk about it?”

She sighs. God, where to start?

“It’s really complicated.”

Dean turns to her with a hand on his hip.

“Sweetheart, our lives are all kinds of complicated and weird. I don’t think a bad date will be hard to explain.” –

“Okay, wow, that is complicated.”

Y/N had explained how the whole date had gone down. Thrown drinks, screaming, dramatic exits, etcetera etc. Dean even looked genuinely shocked and gasped a couple times.

Dean puts down the burger he’d been chowing on, and grabs Y/N’s hand across the table.

“I’m sorry he turned out to be an asshole, I know that you liked him.”

He squeezes it in comfort.

“Barry was a real douche. He cheated on a woman willing to work out their problems and then he dipped out on an awesome date with you to go after the same woman he has no chance with now.”

Y/N gives him an ‘I know right’ look.

“He’s a dick.” she says in exasperation

“He’s a dick-douche.” Dean says that like it’s an absolute fact, which it is.

Y/N snorts and shakes her head. She takes their plates to the sink and starts washing them, then sighs for what seems like the millionth time that night.

“What is it now?” Dean takes one of the newly washed plates to dry.

“I guess the whole situation just bothers me.”

He takes the other plate from her.

“Well I think I’ve got the perfect cure for all your worries.”

Sitting the plate down, Dean unlocks his phone and scrolls for a moment. Then taps something, smiles, sits his phone back on the counter, and a familiar beat starts.

“I stay out too late,”

A look of pure joy comes across Y/N’s face, and Dean’s already bobbing to the song.

“I cannot believe you!”

Y/N starts swaying to Taylor Swift, “Shake It Off” is their guilty pleasure song. They only listened to it when Sam’s gone.

Dean suddenly grabs Y/N’s wrist, pulling her to his chest and starts dancing.

“Cause the players gonna play, play, play, play, play And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate Baby, I’m just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake I shake it off, I shake it off”

By this point, the two are singing and doing a goofy version of the twist. They throw in some butchered Dirty Dancing moves. Twirling and laughing. Then their favorite verse comes on.

“Hey, hey, hey! Just think while you’ve been getting down and out about the liars And dirty, dirty cheats of the world you could’ve been getting down to this sick beat”

They face each other and recite the words.

“My ex-man brought his new girlfriend She’s like, “oh my God”, but I’m just gonna shake And to the fella over there with the hella good hair Won’t you come on over, baby, we can shake, shake, shake”

They dance around the kitchen some more until the song finally ends. The two fall on the floor in a laughing heap.

Eventually the laughs turn into giggles and Y/N can finally form words.

“Dean, thank you,”

She smiles brightly.

“For everything, seriously. You’re the bestest friend I could’ve asked for.”

Dean smiles and pulls her to him, hugging her, and kisses the crown of head.

“Nothing to it, Smalls. I’d do anything for ya.”

And the two best friends stay like that, on the floor, talking about nothing and everything until they both fall asleep with smiles on their faces.