#god forbid said media has its good moments or surely it means everyone watching is a lolicon

[hydrachea]

The amount of people who say not to watch Prisma Illya ever because lolis bad are honestly missing out on how unbelievably funny the series is, up until it suddenly isn't and you wonder at which point exactly it ripped your heart out.

[lilypixels]

Izzy’s Dag-Dag The Artist… Tag

By @morgynemberisagenderfluiddaddy

~ Rules ~

Show us a rendition of yourself in your own art! Can be anything! Sims render? Random stick figure? Picrew? Go nuts! (Just be sure to tag the artist if you use someone else’s picrew!!!!) Tag the blogs you want to know, and don’t be a dick that’s it! Also, feel free to answer as vague or in-depth as you want. And if you don’t want to answer a question for any reason just don’t vibe with it! Skip it if you wanna! Also make sure you tag me and use #dagdagtheartisttag so I can see it!!!!!!!!

This is a bit long so i’m just gonna...

~Questions~

1.) Do you prefer to be referred to by your name or blog name? Both are fine! I don’t care much about what people refer to me as in general and have had someone on here call me lily once

2.) Where are you from? I won’t say exact, but I live in the middle of USA (I can’t wait to move-)

3.) Do you have pets? 👀 Yes! 3 dogs and 2 cats, tho only one cat is truly “mine”

4.) Tell us about your “dream”. uhh like where I want to be in life? what I want to do? um I’m still working on the exact job title, but I wish to do research at a natural history/science museum (sorta like archives or collections manager, but neither of those are quite right i think). Otherwise, I just hope to adopt and even foster kids cause my life would not be complete without little ones :3 (spouse/partner optional lol) 

5.) Aside from art, what are your hobbies? Randomly researching things that grasp my attention, games...lots of games, reading, watching tv, coloring (wait does that count as art-), uhhh spacing out

6. )Does anyone irl know about your blog? yeah, but mostly just know about, not like see my posts i guess

7.)Do you know anyone from your blog irl? not outside of just chatting on discord

8.) What are some fun facts about you? I’ve had some poems published before (it was with entering a poetry contest), I have surprisingly good balance, my brain is not properly awake/functioning until 10am which has led to me almost using soap as toothpaste a few times too many, I have a birthmark on my finger (bonus: it sorta changes color/how noticeable it is depending on how hot or cold I am lol, i call it a mini thermometer cause of this), apparently Lion King was my Disney movie obsession as a kid...oh and I have a certificate in cryptozoology lolz

9.) What’s your day job? i work as a private nanny/glorified babysitter (i don’t live with them or drive but work regular hours through week and as needed; even join the occasional vacation with them)

10.) Do you have a celebrity look alike? i don’t think so; a girl in high school once said I look like Cameron Diaz tho-

11.) What’s your aesthetic? for my blog I think it’s becoming like dark academia meets cottage core?? idk for myself...who knows

12.) What kind of artist are you? the tired kind lol

13.) How did you get into your form of art? if we’re looking at sims, uhhh well I just happened to learn about cc one day, then happened upon simblr, saw edits, and thought I’d give a try cause I can’t draw but I need a creative outlet so this worked for me

14.) What do you watch/listen/read/anything else while you create? if I do anything, its listen to music; music is generally random based on what I feel like but more recently its been 2d anime groups (idolish7, hypnosis mic, etc)

15.) What is your favorite of your own creations so far?  lets see...this, this, and this edit wise I think

16.) How would you describe your art style? idk chaos

17.) What is more satisfying to you coloring or outlining? coloring, I like coloring 

18.) What meme would you use to describe yourself?

19.) What character from any media form do you most identify with? oh gosh uhhhh there’s a few but I’ll say Iori and Sogo from Idolish7 since they come to mind first lol. Iori is a fellow aquarius who hides his interests and agonizes over past slipups even a year later, others have legit moved on but he’s still stuck on it (that was true moment I was like “omg you are aquarius” lol cause yeah meee). Sogo i heavily relate to as well cause he’s,,,very nice and hides his own feelings, putting others before himself (but when right buttons get pushed, he can be scary lol) so yeah, those two

20.) If you were on the run, what would you change your name to? I’ve never thought of this...no clue

21.) Have you ever or do you want to change blog names? I have changed names, yes; I used to be silverine-sims but after a time i didn’t ~vibe~ with it

22.) God forbid Tumblr decides to pull a MySpace and lets us have page songs, what song would you choose?  page songs like adding playlist to blog? i mean its possible already with bit of coding and I used to have one set up but uh one song huh? gosh um I guess Twisted Hearts by tasuku hatanaka; it was op for Moriarty the Patriot s2 and I’m pretty obsessed with it rn 

23.) Oh yeah, I’m still on the MySpace train and I’m starting discourse! Who’s your top 8? my brain refuses to think and rank; i have trouble with choices and that extends to favorites,,

24.) Did you understand those references or did you have to look them up? (I’m fully aware I’m ancient, but are you?) i know of myspace but otherwise i have no clue what all it entailed

25.) One last question; why are you like that? I grew up watching Secret Saturdays, He-Man, Teen Titans, Danny Phantom, and Spongebob idk what to tell ya ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Dag dag?

Now tag tag!!!

I know not all of you will do this or was tagged by izzy already but I’m tagging everyone I can think of anyway-

@cyansimblr @neriney @lunchsims @waysims @klayde @sinfulwunders @void-imp @ladykendalsims @lazysunjade @almost-spring @smolteabirb @lunaziie @clumsyghostie​ and uh uh anyone else cause its too early and my brain just quit

[mintchocolatechipnut]

the boys but they’re idols

ft. bakugou katsuki. midoriya izuku & todoroki shouto

Note: yes, I missed prime pun opportunity to write ‘the boyz’ in the title. Anyway, I’ll be general enough to not include any real-life names and music, but I’ll get specific about other details. (Besides, if you squint real close you can see where I got my references from.) I’m thinking of a follow-up part, but we’ll see. Hope you enjoy!

* These headcanons are detailing each of the boys as a member in a hypothetical idol group, and not that they’re all in the same group.

** For context: the difference between main and lead positions is that main is the position that gets majority of the activity e.g. song, dance, rap, etc. Lead is more of a supporting role, but still important nonetheless. 

Tags: idol!au, no x reader for this one, unless??, as you can see from the word length I think you’ll know who I’m partial to

Word count: 3.3k

BAKUGOU KATSUKI

Obviously an all-rounder. He can sing, dance, and rap, though his forte is definitely dancing.

Bakugou obviously has some mad hand-eye coordination if he can play the drums, and I haven’t even brought in his utilizing it through his quirk and fighting talent. He’s also very flexible when twisting through the air and extremely precise with his explosions

Thus, I’d say that his moves are the most on-beat and precise. He’s got very solid moves when dancing; imagine his limbs cutting the air in sharp, refined movements, and his flexibility leads him to be an overall powerful dancer.

Bakugou is a HUGE stickler for technique. Sure, he’s not above improvisation, but technique’s where he excels the most. He’s looking far ahead enough to not want to jeopardize his health by doing some dangerous moves that could potentially hurt his body, so he always takes extra care when going about them, such as taking advanced dance classes.

He works wonderfully as a center, because not only does he have this charisma that makes people unable to look away from him, his perfected balance between his fierce dancing and his emphasis on technique lead him to be a picture of refined strength, and an absolute delight to watch on stage

His facial expressions are definitely the best when he’s performing powerful songs, probably because he’s naturally angry lol. His worst concept has got to be cute, but while he dreads doing it, it’s not like he can’t pull it off. He’s an idol, dammit.

Bakugou’s that one member who wears a headband or bandanna during cutesy performances and sticks with it, because that’s the closest the stylists are ever gonna get to his hair

God forbid if he ever has curly or straight hair

He’s not against dying it though, but he still cares about the repercussions it has on his body, so he tries to refrain from dying it too often. (Which could be inevitable if his managers require him to, I know that. But I’m going to give the boys a little more leeway here to showcase their personalities.)

Anyway, a bandanna suits him just fine, and now he’s the trademark member with the bandanna haha

Some things that don’t change from canon are obviously his schedule. Boy still wakes up at the crack of dawn, probably goes for runs or do sets in the gym, make himself a healthy breakfast, then get down to work

Now I’m conflicted as to what position he would take in a group; I’m leaning towards main dancer

Then again, he IS an all-rounder, so really you could get him to do anything and he’ll be just fine

It’s not in his nature to fail, after all

He can sing, but since his voice is kind of gravelly he’s not the first choice for a main vocal. Strong lead vocal material, I’ll bet, because his voice adds a lot of color and diversity. It’s not something you’d usually hear in a song, that’s why.

He can rap, but again, his voice is gravelly and hard to hear, so I don’t think it would be too good a fit for fast-paced raps. Though, throw him one or two iconic rap lines in his natural ‘I’ll punch you in the face’ tone and you’ve got yourself an icon (and a meme) for days.

I can also see Bakugou being leader of the group, since in canon he’s actually the oldest in class 1-A. One thing though is his outward persona isn’t all that pristine; he has trouble switching gears into idol mode. As we know Bakugou doesn’t lie, regardless of circumstances, and he’s not about to start doing that just to be liked better. If any of these extras are going to be his fans, they’re going to have to recognize real talent, without all the fake smiles.

But because he knows what it could do to the group’s reputation if he came out to look like a big bad bully, he usually keeps his mouth shut during publicity events

He’s probably one of the first idols to have a not-so-sunny media persona, but fans mostly see him as this brooding, sulky kid that’s prepared to put 100% into everything he does

Which is why they still like him

Suffice to say, his fan-base is very similar to the BNHA fandom lmao

Cue all the memes on him being a jerk and everyone liking him anyway, but they know he’s fully committed to the group and wouldn’t want to do anything to risk its image

But over the years, and with the amount of events he’s been involved in, Bakugou’s learnt to let out his true personality one step at a time

He’s considering things carefully because he doesn’t want his fans to be jarred by his personality change all of a sudden, and also because he’s tired keeping up appearances

Jokes on him because the fans already know how he is and are just waiting for him to be more comfortable around the group to showcase his true feelings

And you know what? It sells!

His members also see him as some inspirational figure because his determination and commitment is truly unparalleled

And while he isn’t the easiest to get along with, they know that he’ll do anything within his abilities to push the group to greater heights

While that’s cute and all, it also means they have to suffer at the hands of Bakugou’s tough love. Tough luck

Besides being leader, I could also see him having a hand in producing as well

Remember when I said he was a stickler for technicality? Well, yeah, exactly this

If he feels something isn’t up to par he’d rather do it himself. I think he’d dabble in mixing for a bit and realize he actually has an ear for it, to which he’d then go on to producing whole songs that just awe his members and they’d be like ‘yeah let’s go with this’

And one more thing. Bakugou’s actually got an eye for fashion

Yeah, gripe all you want because all this boy ever wears in the dorms is skull shirts and black tanks but seriously, when he gets down to it, he knows what looks perfect on each member and can make little adjustments to change up a whole style

Courtesy of having designer parents lmao

Overall Bakugou is nothing if not capable. While it means he could definitely go solo at some point, he’s formed bonds with his members and knows he’s grown as a person as a result. And at this point he can only get better

In a leader position, he’s got the charisma, and is not afraid to push for changes if he thinks the status quo isn’t doing enough to ensure the members’ well-being

His weaknesses are obviously teamwork and perfectionism, but he’s been learning how to get along with others better, that it’s not all just a rat race for fame and influence, and he’s able to form some pretty lasting relationships (see: Kirishima)

Not perfectionism, though. He sees it as a strength and not for one second will he compromise. He wants nothing but the best quality, not just for himself, but for the fans

MIDORIYA IZUKU

Looks like the maknae but isn’t. That’s it, that’s the post

He has a really sweet voice so I can see him going for vocals. So imagine when he turns around, holds a mic in his hand and starts RAPPING

You got it, he’s a rapper. Look at the speed that kid goes when he’s mumbling and muttering to himself all the time

Cue Deku’s origin story where he’s mumbling to himself on the street and a talent scout hands him his business card asbfajgfsa

His enunciation is also clear, and his sweet voice makes for a very refreshing rap. That and he also writes his own rap, because if he’s going to be saying anything on that stage, he’s going to want it to mean something.

His raps are always soulful, with hard-hitting lyrics that serve to encourage and motivate anyone who hears and vibes with them.

Basically, his gap moe game is STRONG. Dude be spitting fire up there on stage but once he’s come down, he’s a timid, sweet, shy boi, with overreactions and exaggerations that just make him all the more endearing

He’s also a big fan favorite because he nails every concept well, and has a very down-to-earth personality which he doesn’t hide from the cameras

You want him to act cute and youthful? You’ve got it. You want him to go for something sexy? Um yeah, he’ll have his reservations, but he’ll still do well. You want him to be angry and powerful? The strength in his gaze has got you trembling from the pit.

He’s not just a fan favorite but also that of the staff. Seriously Deku deserves all the love in the world and in this world, he’s going to get it

He’s in the position for main rapper, but I could see him going for lead vocals as well. He’s got a sweet, clear voice that immediately tugs on anyone’s heartstrings the moment they hear it, and he’s usually given more lines in ballads. His vocal range isn’t bad, he can reach moderately high notes, but sometimes his voice undergoes strain. He’s training for that, though!

As for his dance style, Deku probably goes for freestyle! He’s got this easy-going, totally relaxed style going for him that’s full of swag (omg outdated word alert) that makes his movements very smooth. He’s also reasonably flexible, though not as flexible as Bakugou or Todoroki, so he still can pull off certain dance moves.

Unpopular opinion, but it’s Deku, not Todoroki, who looks good in EVERYTHING. Literally his stylist is squealing backstage because they can go ham on dressing him. You could put him in a gold chain and ripped jeans OR an oversized hoodie and rompers, and it’d just go. The only thing is his hair though; he’s thinking of selling it as his charm point (not his freckles!) so he’d prefer if it could stay green. He doesn’t mind if they style it different ways though

The fans would go ballistic if they saw Deku with an undercut, and chances are they’re going to get to see it

He’s definitely one for improvisation! He’s very flexible with these changes, much like how he considers his growth in canon. He’s always looking to try out new styles or moves and see if it fits for him

Besides, I also see him producing! It’s because he’s so immersed in his idol career that he’s always studying new trends on the scene and making them into formulas for the group. He’s also thinking of marketing strategies in his free time

Everyone better be afraid of businessman Deku because he’ll be stealing those bucks from right under your nose

He’s also got mean leadership skills, but I don’t see him in a leader position

Rather, he’s like the second-eldest-but-co-leader kind of guy! He assists the leader in any way he can, and always serves to inspire and motivate the younger ones to work harder together as a team

Deku’s still got that shounen-protagonist charm, even in this world

But for all his good points, Deku still worries he isn’t enough

He knows how cut-throat the industry can be, having studied it inside and out, and he doesn’t want to lag behind

Cue him getting up at odd hours of the morning to use the practice studio (without waking up the others, of course) and other instances

Whenever his members realize he’s been overworking, literally everyone turns on him

He used to be the mom figure, but the moment he’s ushered into bed, a cooling pad on his forehead and thermos at his bedside desk, and the members even station one person to be in the living room so if he tries to leave his room to practice by himself they’ll see him

Jokes on them because Deku practices in his room

He practically moves in his sleep as if trying to get the muscle memory down

Precious boy must protecc!

In sum, Deku’s a great teammate to have and a valuable asset to the team

He’s also the best of friends and is never one to let a fellow member down

Probably the first to burst into tears if the group ever disbands

With his talent and fan-base, he could definitely go solo. But more than that, he wants to cherish the time he has with his members and achieve greater milestones with them every day

TODOROKI SHOUTO

High-key a visual. I mean, everyone wants to look like him!

Like. Everyone stops to look at him whenever he enters the room. Staff, producers, backstage crew, everyone. Even his members, sometimes.

Man’s just too pretty not to stare at

That's not to say he isn't talented, oh no. He's much like Bakugou, an all-rounder, but he's gone through rigorous training from when he was young to get there

Definitely not because of genes, no offense to Rei

As much as Enji is a major shareholder in the industry, anyone who sees Todoroki strut his stuff and still says he got in because of his father has got to be blind. Or deaf. Or plain stupid.

Sure, he had all that training courtesy of his dad. But the moment he enters as a trainee, it's all him from there and no one else.

He's a lot withdrawn at first, still is, but he's improved a lot from when he first joined. It's because of the support he's gained from both his members and fans that he's able to push himself to be the best version of himself everyday

He definitely doesn't come out and say it, but he's probably the most grateful for his fans. As in his family isn't the only lifeline left for him anymore

Todoroki has an amazing voice; while his speaking voice is low, he can reach higher notes without much difficulty. His tone is deep, somber and perfect for ballads, but the training he's undergone has made his technique immaculate. He's got excellent control, he can do runs and riffs effortlessly and he's even perfected his growl. Fans won't even see it coming

His dancing on the other hand is a lot about technique; but unlike Bakugou, Todoroki probably did classical and contemporary dance training as opposed to hip-hop or popping. Because of that, his movements are smooth and elegant, and he always carries himself with the grace of a dancer

That's not to say he cannot be an absolute beast on stage, of course. He's just more in his element when it comes to melancholic ballads, and he's had a hand in choreographing contemporary routines before

That experience and knowledge easily make him a capable choreographer for the group

After all those years of not being able to properly express himself, Todoroki learnt to let his dance tell a story in itself

He's also a fast learner, so any hip-hop techniques he easily picks up and incorporates into the routine

This makes me think he’s going to be a main dancer and a lead vocal, maybe even main vocal

I don’t see him in a leader position because while he has the charisma for it, I think he’d lack in communication, like Bakugou. They’re both a bit too used to doing things on their own that they 1) can’t trust anyone else to do it right and 2) as a result have never consulted other people about how they do things

The difference is Bakugou is a little more observant and far-thinking enough to be a leader, but it doesn’t make Todoroki any less important

If anything, he’s the mom friend, and always makes sure that the members stay in line and out of trouble

Also, for some reason, he's got exceptional charisma on stage and he doesn't even know it

Like, a sexy song comes on and then there’s Todoroki's smoldering heterochromatic gaze

Fans: omgomgomg how is he so hot what the—

Him: ??? This is my normal face tho

It's a strange feeling. One moment, he can be humping the floor and another moment he's got dimples in his cheeks from smiling. It makes him look like a totally different person, even though he's the same guy

His fans don't know why either

As much as he has a creative outlet in dance, Todoroki thinks he has no talent for songwriting or producing. He doesn't consider them his areas of expertise and if he was asked to write lyrics he'd have a hard time because he rarely expresses himself with words. He'd fret on it and eventually not get much done, so why try?

He does help out though, in offering suggestions on how to proceed, but he won't take the lead for any of these. Only dancing

That and his growing up with a businessman father leads him to also know the industry rather well, so he can offer some insights as to what image they could go for and how to market their discography

When it comes to styling, Todoroki is an absolute Mess. The things he likes and wants to wear doesn't suit him all that much, and the stylists usually have a hard time picking out clothes that really accentuate his look and figure. The myriad of colors in his hair and face lead to color clashes, but they find that red and blue are usually the go-to colors.

Did I mention that Todoroki doesn't mind dying his hair as long as they don't dye the white part? Enough said

They've done rainbow on him before!

He also doesn't cover up his scar, and over the years he's learnt to make it his charm point

It serves to make him a noticeable figure in the industry (as if his heterochromia weren’t enough) but it also makes him easily recognisable to fans

It’s not like he doesn’t like interacting with his fans, but sometimes some of them get a little too close, or ask questions that are way too personal

During those times, he’s at least got his members to relate and support him through it

The cutest thing about this man has got to be when he interacts with fans

Like, he’s pretty expressionless most of the time, but he always makes sure that his fans know that he’s extremely happy to have them here, and that he’ll continue doing the best he can for them

If you’re lucky and catch a small smile from him when you’re at a fan sign, I guess you could die peacefully

To summarize, Todoroki is a sweet bean but hardly ever shows it

When people praise his looks, he’s humble about them (though it’s more because he doesn’t know or think he’s attractive… baby just doesn’t see it)

And to top it all off, he’s a charmer on and off stage  with his quiet, sensitive nature and calm demeanor

He’s also the one that’s most likely to have a modeling career outside of his idol work

He can’t act for the life of him even though he’s got the expressions right on stage

Like Deku and Bakugou, he could always go solo, but his reason for not doing so is mainly because he’s found a new family, here with his members, and he doesn’t want to lose it

He doesn’t even mind if they don’t produce music anymore. As long as everyone sticks together and has a good time, he’s willing

A/N: Thank you for reading! If you haven’t checked out my other pieces, you can find them on my masterlist; if you have, thank you for your support! I’m trying to post something new every week, so stay tuned :)

[thesmallworldofsamizayn]

How not to feel like there are ants under your skin when you realise you’re in the presence of someone more talented than you will ever be: a beginner’s guide

I know I’m very late to the party but I just played (watched?) The Beginner’s Guide and I need to set this down.

I went into the game with no idea that it was a mockumentary, and really only twigged that Coda wasn’t real in the final act, which might make me incredibly thick or it might make Wreden a very talented storyteller, I don’t know, but either way the effect was that this story-thing got in me in a personal way that I haven’t really felt from media in a while. I felt, oh, what’s the word, seen by it, or something, I guess. 

this is long. I don’t want to waste people’s valuable scrolling time, so

Davey in the Beginner’s Guide cannot imagine living his life unmotivated by validation, which is why he doesn't understand Cody and why he makes the narrative in the first place. He sees a friend creating fantastic, inventive and - to his mind - meaningful art, none of which is shown to the public, and this drives him insane. He never says as much in the narration, and seeing as this is the guy who made the Stanley Parable I don’t know if it’s quite the emotion he’s reaching for, but at least for me, I completely associate this feeling with my intense competitiveness and insecurity about writing. Specifically how that translates into a feeling of agonising pins and needles all over me, the moment I’m confronted by something good written by someone young, especially when that person is creating for themselves only. When they say something like, I never show my writing to anyone, or, I’ve filled hundreds of notebooks with words no one will ever see, it’s like a stake being driven slowly through my chest. Something about it, though it has nothing to do with me, makes me feel like a complete fraud, like I’ve missed the boat somewhere, and that’s the whole emotion behind this game. It changes into a need to make Coda into a project, a problem for Davey to solve, so that Davey can be the one in control, so that he can have something to be proud of: I figured out my friend. I fixed my friend. And of course, that makes it so much worse. 

The way I see it, Davey has two essential beliefs, which are challenged by Coda at the end of the story, the first of which takes precedence in the narrative, but the second of which is just as important, I think. 1. Coda is broken, and it’s Davey’s job to fix him. 2. Coda’s art, despite (or probably because of) its incomprehensibility, is better than Davey’s. 

The latter of these beliefs is not stated directly in the game, but it makes sense of everything to me. These two beliefs get tangled together so that a familiar fallacy is reached, that of the suffering artist - Coda’s art is great because he is depressive, and the fact that he never shows his art to anyone is a mind-boggling tragedy. But such a beautiful tragedy. Davey can be the deus ex machina. That’s how Davey can reconcile his own inadequacy, by inserting himself into the story, because once he faces himself, once Coda cuts himself off and removes his source of Davey’s validation, he finds nothing, no creativity, nothing to give. And he now has the additional terrible guilt of taking Coda away from the world too, leaving them both in the dark. It’s like Amadeus, if Salieri only intended to help Mozart, instead of destroying him. (Salieri being another figure I’ve expressed an uncomfortable affinity for, if only for the fact that he describes the sensation of hearing Mozart for the first time, without a trace of metaphor as pure bodily pain. Looking at his hands and seeing how useless they are, how incapable, dull blocks of flesh too blunt to produce the aural poetry that comes so effortlessly from his rival. We’ve all been there, pal.)

So the Beginner’s Guide called me out for my obsessive competitive streak, but it went further than that, and called me out for the thing I’ve always kind of used as a justification for all that bitterness, for the privileged life I never earned, for my own inadequacy as a creator, which is my need to help others.

I used to do the stupidest things sometimes. I think I was eight, this one time. I don’t remember what the context was, not even the country it happened in, but I remember that when I did it, I thought - or I was told - that this was a recurring pattern of behaviour I needed to stop. And I thought, why do I always do this? The thing was this: there was some kind of party, and there was a girl, younger than me. I must have taken a liking to her. I have zero memory of what she looked like, what we talked about, and why she meant so much to me, but I do remember that at some point in the evening she lost a plush bunny. We were outside for most of the function, a large garden wreathed with shrubbery and trees. And for at least half an hour, I circled this garden, frantically searching for this god damned bunny. The sense memories stay with you the most, and more than anything visual or factual I remember being out of breath from running round the place so many times, the wet leaves crunching underfoot and in my hands as I scoured every crevice. I was certain that it was for some reason up to me to find this toy, and feeling both indignant at the world that no one else seemed to care, and perversely gleeful that I cared enough to do it. 

I never found the toy, because it turned out to be in her father’s pocket. She’d given it to him and forgotten. I was so wrapped up in my idea of this person’s problem, the idea that I could solve their problem, the idea that only I could do it, that I wasted everyone’s time, not least my own. I don’t run round gardens anymore, but I think this drive is still in me. I’ve shaped it into simply being a good friend and listener and giver of pep talks or whatever, and I have pretty much made peace with the idea that I’m doing it for the validation, but this game threw me in for a loop, getting me scared of what it all means, making me second guess my actions and my tendency to do what the narrator does, to make people projects when I cannot finish my own. To know that I fixed someone, and to feel like I can carry the mantle of the therapist friend. 

When it got to the final level and Coda’s message, I was still under the impression that the whole thing was real and seeing it knocked the wind out of me. The idea of trying something like this, realising how utterly and devastatingly wrong you got it, and having to live with a broken friendship as a result, though it’s something I haven’t specifically had to go through, felt so viscerally plausible and close to home. All this selfishness bites you in the rear some day. And for it not only to be the consequence of selfishness, but the consequence of selfishness believed to be selflessness, that’s even more terrifying. Because lord knows I second guess myself enough as it is, whatever I’m doing. 

We all do, right? This story is going to be really good. Oh, wait, what if it’s terrible. I just had a good and productive conversation with someone I care about. Except, hang on, what if what I said was actually extremely insensitive and they’re just trying to forget it now? I’m sure Catbells isn’t anywhere near Coniston, but that person just said it was, and actually, you know what, they’re probably right. That vertigo, that swooping stomach-turned over sensation when you can just feel the foundations of something you believed in shudder beneath your feet, I’m sick of it. I’d like to be certain of what I’m doing for once. If I had any certainty at all, I could get on with my work. I could write and write until I was finally good enough to feel happy with myself, instead of sitting in fear of my documents. I would probably do a better job of being the therapist friend too, not having this overhanging fear that I’m somehow doing the wrong thing.

I don’t even know what I wrote this for, to be honest. Most of it doesn’t make sense, and I was hoping it would add up to something, that these disjointed thoughts would come together. As I have so often done, I leapt in with great vague ideas, and have ground to a halt as the picture became clearer. And if I were forced to admit the true reason for writing it, it would be that I thought it made for a good written piece, something that someone could read and think “wow. this person just wrote something good.” because god forbid, right? god forbid I ever do anything in life and have it not be for the validation

[nightcoremoon]

I love horror, I just have impossibly high standards

anyway some of my favorite is the kind that is totally normal from the start, there's nothing off kilter or weird, everything is fine. it's mundane. but then maybe something strange happens and it's less mundane, maybe it's more colorful or lively. but it's not like it's scary or anything. maybe it's a little left of center but it's still fine. life goes on as normal.

but then suddenly it's not fine.

and it recontextualizes everything up until now and you realize oh my god it wasnt mundane at all, it was just pillars of foreshadowing and you realize this is the most terrifying thing you've ever encountered.

maybe it goes on with the weird scary shit and things resolve themselves later, but that gives you time to breathe and get accustomed to the horror.

maybe it just ends. maybe it's just suddenly "surprise, shit is fucked!" and then ~fin

that would be ideal. like, in the sixth sense, you find out Bruce Willis was dead the whole time, you see him making peace with his death, and then the movie ends. except without all of the overreliance on shock horror and the visually disturbing (for the 90s) shots of the entire rest of the everything.

but if the twist happens at the halfway point and things stay absolutely horrible for a while that's also good, like coraline. started off pretty normal, got a little weird, and then suddenly boom ITS HORRIFYING OUT OF NOWHERE.

a perfect example of the last line twist would be the girl with the green ribbon on her neck. aww the boy likes the mysterious girl and they fall in love and get married, really normal the entire way. and then oh surprise HER HEAD COMES OFF. simple yet effective.

I don't mind if it starts out the gate with being seven levels of fucked. dead space 2 opens up with nicole, narratively speaking just moments after she end jumpscares you in the first game, so we're already off-put. then 60 seconds in we see isaac in a straitjacket being questioned and in the background there's flashes of being on the ishimura and nicole's ghost walks up to you and slavsquats and her eyes light up and she whispers, then SUDDEN WHITE oh cool it's ok look it's franco from dead space ignition that's cool aww he's saving Isaac oh wow it's a really creepy atmosphere OH MY GOD IS HEAD IS GETTING STABBED AND HIS FACE TURNS INTO A GODDAMN ZOMBIE HOLY SHIT THEYRE EVERYWHERE RUN BITCH RUN CHAOS LOUD MUSIC BLOOD GUTS FEAR QUICK MASH THE A BUTTON OR DIE!!! oh everything is quiet now. good job you survived, now walk down the corridor to the next intense scary part. lather rinse repeat.

I like horror when it's well executed or creative and not schlocky and relying solely on savini's gore or unnecessary carnage.

friday the 13th is like, oh wow that person just got an axe in their forehead, I sure am quaking in my boots. oh wow the tall stuntman picked up a sleeping bag and slammed it into a tree, this sure is realistic. oh the scantily clad teen girl is running slowly through the forest while cain hodder slowly walks towards her, and he somehow catches up and stabs her with the machete. wow the effects sure look like foam core and wax got cut in half and is squirting ketchup everywhere. the music is sonically engineered to force my pulse to increase and I guess this is horror? oh look someone else got murdered. oh look another murder. I'm sure glad we spent the first 45 minutes of this movie getting to know the shallow garbage characters before they all get merced. wow crispin glover sure does know how to shake his head when a prosthetic attached with fake blood is on his head. oh look a dead body with arrows in it, the scream queen is piercing my eardrums, I guess this means I should be scared too. yawn. it's so fucking boring just watching people die over and over again. at least the later installments were either hilarious or batshit crazy. punching a dude's head clean off was the funniest thing I've ever seen in a movie given the context, and JASON GOES TO SPACE is the dumbest shit in any film but that's what makes it awesome. it had a stupid fucking robot fight. yet everyone hated it, so they rebooted it and surprising literally nobody it was the same shit but with more cgi so it looked even less real (not that it did in the first place). yet this franchise made hundreds of millions of dollars in ticket sales alone. nowadays there are people who see hockey on tv and ask "why the fuck is that guy dressed up like jason voorhees".

tell me why a free swedish gold source mod with blocky graphics and muddy textures and the worst lighting engine in 20 years and some bad questionable design choices in an almost direct ripoff homage to silent hill 2 and resident evil 2, crammed with bugs and bad collision and hard crashes if you die in a specific level while holding a flare which you literally need to always have lit because that's the mechanic the entire level was built around, by a team of like 6 people (half of whom were the voice actors and navmesh modelers), is still one of the best and well-crafted pieces of horror media I've ever consumed, while trash like the fucking craven-less elm street remake gets its dick sucked by everyone else because OH WOW ITS SO SUBVERSIVE AND EDGY AND GORY WOW COOL THIS IS REAL TRUE HORROR!

of course I'm approaching this from a purely american lens. japan's horror is phenomenal. mainly because it's not built around buckets of blood and literal pig carcasses and abusing actresses and actual rape scenes (although it's funny that people are totally okay with all of the graphic murders because killing people is okay and indulging in torture porn is fine but oh, god forbid a film shows something skin-crawlingly uncomfortable for the sake of making you feel disgusted and wanting a cold shower, no, the line is drawn there, you can stab a naked girl with a power drill or drop a chainsaw on her body and that's fine but if a snowman slams her body into a wall while his carrot nose is inside her hoohah that's when it's going too far? seriously? whatever I've beaten this dead horse). but eurocanadamerica's obsession with gore porn in horror and blumhouse's shitty jumpscare factories have reduced it to just... loud noise, stabbing, loud noise, stabbing, lather rinse repeat. this is horror now I guess.

nobody takes coraline seriously as horror. nobody takes the green ribbon seriously as horror.

the monster chasing you isn't horror. it's terror. horror is when you step on a bear trap while the monster is chasing you. the monster chase without the bear trap has no impact, it's just "watch this person fear for their life and die". yeah, if I wanted to watch a snuff film I'd look outside of mainstream markets. "oh but if it's just a movie it's not real" so says the people who suicide bait cyber bully and harass teens who ship a 17 year old with a 19 year old, or two people who work with batman, all over fictional alleged pedophilia and incest. because it's all bad unless it's violence. only sex is bad but not violence.

the violence cannot stand on its own. it needs to have narrative purpose. resident evil, all of the zombies and monsters were bioweapons being manufactured by a corporation. silent hill and cry of fear, all of the monsters are just the embodiments of the protag's inner demons. dead space, the batshit crazy religious cult wants to turn everyone into the undead since that's their idea of heaven, and you have to fight them and stay alive so you can prevent the universe from getting omnomnommed by the blood moons. f.e.a.r., a little girl with some psychic powers is studied, tortured, abused, and :/ raped (at least you don't see it) and she naturally responds by lashing out at the ones who hurt her and trying to reunite with her baby, who is... you! (spoilers).

what is the plot of friday the 13th? dumbass kids get drunk and have sex and let a little kid go missing and his mom has a psychotic break and starts killing them all, then they kill her and the kid kills more people and then he kills more people and then he dies and comes back and kills more people and then he dies so someone else starts killing people and then jason comes back again and kills more people again and he gets arrested and they try to execute him but he won't die so they cryogenically freeze him until he kills people in the future, and in a different timeline he kills people and fights freddy krueger. it's pointless. popcorn. drivel. there is no narrative purpose, it's just murder for murder's sake. and that's scary???

like I said. impossibly high standards.

I love horror. but holy shit is a lot of horror bad.

[highbuttonsports]

HB journey - Through the eyes of the idiot behind the camera.

Whats up, CrushDouder checking in. Going to give this blogging shit a try. I always seem to find myself in disputes or deep conversations with people and giving my opinion on things, so I figure I mid as well put it down for others to read. Before I get into the nitty gritty I’m just gonna give a little insight on my journey so far with the High Button. I’ll probably ramble on but that’s what happens when ya try and write a blog after a little electric lettuce! Up, up & away!

STOP! I know what you’re thinking “Douds is an idiot”. You’re not a hundred percent wrong, I'll be the first to admit that. With that being said, hopefully you’ll be pleasantly surprised after reading this that you’ll think, shit, I enjoyed that! Maybe he’s got a little more going on up top than I thought….If not, I really don’t give a shit hahaha.

I’ll first start off by thanking Belly for allowing me to be apart of the High Button. Listen… If you were to tell me a year ago that this year we were going to be working Red Bull Crashed Ice as a media company, at fucking Fenway Pahk…. You kidding me? Or that we would be media credentialed at the Telus Cup in Thunder Bay or better yet the god damn Memorial Cup in our great city of Halifax, doing bench interviews during warm-up (even though we weren’t supposed to.) I would have laughed in your face, seriously. I’ve lived in Halifax my whole life and not once, did I get to sit in the press box for a game. Not even as a healthy scratch hahaha. I don’t care who you are, that is a special moment in your life. Especially an ex hockey player, who just didn’t quite make it! Almost makes you feel like a kid again.

It's funny ya know, how you end up down paths in life that had originally never been thought of. A couple years ago, I was driving a 5 tone truck slangin’ pallets all over the city. I was content enough doing that work as it paid pretty well, and it was something different everyday. After I left that job due to something I considered unfair treatment and unprofessionalism at its finest. Imagine that.. Douds thinking something was unprofessional. Do I even know what unprofessional is? Thats how bad it was, believe me.

So I’m in a rut y’know, standard shit for ol’ Douder, back on the job hunt once again. I felt like I was at that period in my life that you consider like, the cross-roads or something stupid like that. So I’m like; “What am I gonna do for the rest of my life” kinda thing. I’ll be honest with you guys, that thought never really lasted long in my head. My give-a-fuck level is pretty low, too low in some people’s mind I bet but it’s just my way of dealing with things and not sweating the small shit. Blah blah blah.

I don’t know if Belly knew I wasn’t working or maybe it was just a known thing that I wasn’t.  Maybe he was just so desperate, he dug to the bottom of the barrel. Either way, who cares. He asked me to come on the podcast as a guest. What a great move by him wha?? I consider myself to be non-filter,  so why not have me on to stir the pot a little eh. Ive made a ton of friends over the years through sports and I think that helped in a sense as well. Anywho, I end becoming the co-host on the podcast and then the camera guy…Let me pause you for a second here. Being the camera guy is not as easy as I thought, I figured oh ya, turn it on, zoom in and out and Bobs your uncle (or Aunt)….Wrong. There is a certain anticipation you have to have, a certain creative eye if you will. Don’t get me wrong you don’t need 13 years of secondary education to run a camera, just wasn’t as easy as I thought.

Like I mentioned earlier, its funny where life takes ya sometimes…

Fast forward a bit into the High Button. The first couple months were crazy, we didn’t know what we were doing. We had tons of podcast guests that summer, I mean Christ, were just over a year into this and we're up over 200 episodes. Thats some impressive shit I don’t care who you are. It honestly takes a while to really figure out what you’re good at as a company and finding what the viewers will like as well. And I think we're well on our way.

So, the fellas are in their groove and everything seems to be moving smoothly but I just wasn’t happy with my lack of knowledge in the industry, so what do I do? I apply to take a Media & Communications course at NSCC and wouldn’t ya know it…. I get in. Twenty-seven year old freshmen. Has a nice ring to er wha?! Here’s the thing, sometimes ya make decisions that may be out of your comfort zone, but how else are you going to grow as a human being?? So fuck it, I did it! I won’t get too much into the school stuff as that’s not my bread and butter. Plus, I didn’t enjoy it as much as I thought I would. There I said it…

What I do want to mention though is how fun this process has been so far. And how it has helped me kind of find a sense of what I want to do with my life or maybe just created a new found confidence in myself, either way, I’m gonna roll with it. This has enabled Belanger and I to stay close to the game we both devoted our lives to. It allows us to really cherish and celebrate everything the Maritimes has to offer. It allows us to go down new, different avenues and learn new skills and branch out into new sports, new cultures that kinda shit!

Im looking forward to the path ahead with HB. The ups and downs and the successes. The spontaneous road trips to the days sitting in Belanger’s basement contemplating whether or not this is going to work. I truly enjoy it and I know for sure Belly does too. When you enjoy something enough the passion and commitment almost comes naturally. Maybe that’s just me, I don’t know. One thing I do know for sure is that if this ships sinks (which it won’t) it won’t be for lack of effort or caring. If everyone could see the amount of effort and not to mention, time put into this by not just me but especially Belly. I’m sure most of you would be a little shocked. I know I certainly was at the beginning!

Last thing I’ll touch on. Shout out to all the people who believe in us and continuously like, share, watch and god forbid converse with another human being about. (old school I know) Thank you. To the guests who’ve given us a couple hours of their time and allowed us into their world and allowed us to help them share their stories for the people to hear. Thank you.

Special shoutout to every member of the 2018-2019 Halifax Macs team for allowing us to be apart of your journey with your sons this year. Your guys’ support has been unbelievable from the beginning and has allowed us to pursue another lane of this media world! Thank you.

Keep supporting the High Button and we will continue to support you!

Cheers,

Douds

[thelmabeaver]

Common Mistakes Made By First Time Parents

Common Mistakes Made by First Time Parents

Being a first time parent is, to say the least, nerve wrecking for many because of its new terrain and most people have no clue what to expect. Be that as it may, most first time parents are excited about their new roles. They definitely want to do the best for their baby, in spite of the challenges they know they will face. Sometimes, despite only wanting the best and despite all the good intentions they may have, new born parents still end up making mistakes. There is a first time for everything, they say. Well, definitely. And that includes making booboos while trying to pass Parenting 101. There is nothing to feel embarrassed about, if you happen to be one of those parents who don’t quite have a firm grasp on being a parent yet. Very few people come out unscathed during their first time as parents. Everyone has made a booboo or two… or 10. These are some of the mistakes common to first time parents and tips on dealing with them.

Having unnecessary anxiety

People have been having and raising babies since time immemorial, but for some reason many new parent panics unnecessarily. This causes them to sweat the small stuff like a simple cough or a rash and even worrying that the child is not crying enough. While it is true that real health challenges and serious ailments may call for concern and worry, healthy babies have been known to exhibit different types of symptoms like colic and diarrhea. You need to let go a little bit and learn to relax. You cannot control everything. Know that spitting up and vomiting are few of the things a baby does, though admittedly they are a bit scary. Do not, however, be overly anxious since babies can pick up on your anxiety.

Yes, being a new parent can become too worrisome. With that said, you should also accept that raising a child should be a positive experience. Being anxious over every little thing will get in the way of you enjoying your baby’s first months. Babies are actually tougher than we give them credit for.

Bottom line is that, once you have taken care of yourself through the pregnancy and once the baby is born, all you really need to do and all you really can do is give them food, shelter, clothing and all the loving. They should be fine. They cry here and there, but as long as you take care of the basics, they grow like weeds; the best thing is to concentrate on spending time with them and enjoying this period of their lives because it goes by so fast.

Underestimating the power of routines

Being home with an infant is no easy task. Sure, it looked easy when other people did it. It is not. It is more akin to getting a new job except you have a smaller human as a boss. Probably more demanding, too. The key here is not to overestimate your free time. If you are a first time parent, you need to set a routine and follow it religiously. This will help you and your baby tremendously. Babies are strongly influenced by the environment around them, and a daily routine will greatly affect how well you manage them. They are creatures of habit and routines make them feel secure, which translates to fewer problems, such as crying or not eating, for you.

Remember that a baby does not simply fit into your old life. You have to carve out an entirely new life, now that you have a baby. Setting a routine and schedule will help you feel as if you still have some level of control. The routine will also help you as a new parent to cope with the challenges of parenthood with ease because you will have fewer issues to deal with, and more time to spend with your spouse or by yourself recharging.

Foregoing your happiness and your relationship

This brings us to the next mistake, forgetting about your needs and those of your partner. It is truly challenging to transition from a carefree life with just you and your partner to a completely new life where you become both responsible for the life of your baby. Marital troubles are bound to arise. Stress that could put tension on your relationship is normal. But your marriage should not take a backseat in your life. You have to make it a priority along with taking good care of your baby. Staying connected as a couple in your partnership is very important.

Any weakness in your relationship can easily be amplified when there is a child involved. You have to be able to maintain your partnership. Babies can pick up on the negativity. Make a habit out of focusing on each other, as well. You both need to nurture each other so that life does not become mechanical and that you can maintain happiness in your relationship. A happy person will make a good parent. Make sure to make some time for you and your partner at least once a week, without the baby. Spend quality time together. Don’t shut each other out. Share the load of being parents. Let your partner do his part without hovering and being overly critical.

The fact is, babies need their parents to get along. Even if you are a single parent he/she needs to know that the people around him/her are getting along. For some reason, they pick up on negative vibes and this makes them irritable. Handling your relationships well is not only suitable for you, but for your baby, as well. It’s common for partners to neglect each other at this time, but this is wrong as it is the time when you need each other the most in order to enjoy the birth of your child and get through any rough patches with ease.

Listening to others and ignoring your instincts

This is your child, and they have a unique connection to you that instinctively helps you to nurture them in the way that is best for them. A classic parenting mistake is going to the wrong places for parenting advice. Many first time parents suppress their instincts and listen to the people around them excessively. This is wrong because each child is different. Your child won’t behave like that of another because you mimic their parenting style. Do not compare your baby’s development with that of others. Every baby has his own pace.

Expected milestones from developmental charts are merely averages and as long as your baby is within the normal range, do not fret too much about it. Learn to take criticism and advice with a pinch of salt and concentrate on knowing your child and how to relate to them. Do not believe everything you hear. Everyone in your life who has had a baby will naturally want to offer you an advice or two. Thank them graciously for their offering but keep in mind that the only option that really matters is what your instinct tells you. If you follow each advice that everyone else is giving you, you will be taking away from yourself the chance to fully explore what probably will be the most creative role that you would ever have in your life.

Read all you can about babies and listen to advice from others, but make decisions based on your baby and your parental instincts. This will save you a lot of anxiety and unnecessary action. Instead of consulting other parents, try reading up on general medical care for babies on WebMD.com and the American Academy of Pediatrics instead. These are reputable sources that can come in useful when you are making decisions about the proper childcare for your baby.​

Not getting enough rest

It is pretty common to mistake staying up while the baby is asleep to do other chores as a good thing. Maybe even industrious. It is so hard to resist finishing all those chores when you finally have your hands free. There always seems so many things to do. According to studies, new parents suffer a loss of 400 to 750 hours of sleep during the first 12 months of their baby. That is a lot. If you don’t get enough rest, you will soon find yourself so exhausted that you are dropping a plate or two when you are cleaning up. God forbid you drop the baby. Get enough rest. Snooze daily while your baby is resting. On the weekends, do take a long nap to be able to properly recuperate. Do not underestimate the power of sleep. When you are well rested, you are energized enough to actually enjoy what should be one of the happiest time in your life.

Failing to stick to a budget

As new parents, it is quite easy to lose one’s ground when it comes to wanting to provide everything for the baby. An average of $6200 is how much a baby will cost you in his first year. That is $6200 worth of clothes, food, diaper, strollers, furniture and all the other baby essentials. Going inside a local baby store can leave your checkbook significantly thinner than when you came in. When going shopping, be sure to take along with you an experienced parent who can show you the ins and outs of buying only what your baby actually needs. Minimize the desire to shop for cute baby clothes that they will outgrow in days. Skip on the numerous toys that are tempting to purchase. They will be happily contented with just one. It is best to save your money for the future of your baby, like his college tuition for instance.

Not taking enough souvenirs

Your baby will go through a number of milestones, and while you are honest to goodness sure that you will never forget each moment, odds are, you will. Watching a baby grow is like watching the world go by in time-lapse. It goes by quickly, and in a flurry. One day when your baby has grown into a young adult, you would want to look back on his infancy. Luckily, these days, keeping track of your baby’s milestones isn’t that difficult. With all the technology and social media that let us document any given moment in our lives, preserving cherishable moments have never been easier.

Neglecting your baby’s oral health

Most parents make the mistake of not thinking about their newborn baby’s oral health until it is too late. It is never too early to get your baby started on good oral health habits. Just because he doesn’t have any teeth yet does not mean his oral health does not need any taking care of. Before bedtime, wipe down your baby’s gums with a wet gauze. Once your baby turns 1 year of age, you may start introducing him to the concept of brushing his teeth with a toothbrush. Once your baby’s milk teeth have started growing, avoid feeding him in bed or risk the development of cavities, which are also known as baby bottle decay. Be sure to provide your baby enough fluoride. You may ask your child’s dentist about getting supplements in case you do not have access to fluoridated water.

Panicking when your baby is crying

Crying is the primary form of communication for babies. Crying is how they communicate to us, and it does not always have to mean that there is something wrong that we need to fix. Babies still cry even when they have already been fed and when their diapers have already been changed. Sometimes, they just need to cry it out and you just need to let them do it. Do worry when your baby has been inconsolable for more than an hour and is accompanied by a fever or rash. That would be the time to go and consult your doctor.

Waking your baby from sleep just to breastfeed

While breastfeeding is indeed the best for babies, one common mistake of new parents is being too strict about it. Yes, it is good that your baby is breastfed. No, it is not okay to wake him up from sleep just to feed him. Let him sleep through the night, as we all should. You might be thinking that breast milk might not be thick enough to keep the baby full through the night. It is a common misconception. If it isn’t, the baby will let you know. Meanwhile, let us agree that both breastfed babies and mommies can sleep through the night.

Originally posted 2013-11-10 09:40:42.

The post Common Mistakes Made By First Time Parents appeared first on ParentsNeed.

Common Mistakes Made By First Time Parents published first on http://parentsneed.tumblr.com/

[michellegputz]

Common Mistakes Made By First Time Parents

Common Mistakes Made by First Time Parents

Being a first time parent is, to say the least, nerve wrecking for many because of its new terrain and most people have no clue what to expect. Be that as it may, most first time parents are excited about their new roles. They definitely want to do the best for their baby, in spite of the challenges they know they will face. Sometimes, despite only wanting the best and despite all the good intentions they may have, new born parents still end up making mistakes. There is a first time for everything, they say. Well, definitely. And that includes making booboos while trying to pass Parenting 101. There is nothing to feel embarrassed about, if you happen to be one of those parents who don’t quite have a firm grasp on being a parent yet. Very few people come out unscathed during their first time as parents. Everyone has made a booboo or two… or 10. These are some of the mistakes common to first time parents and tips on dealing with them.

Having unnecessary anxiety

People have been having and raising babies since time immemorial, but for some reason many new parent panics unnecessarily. This causes them to sweat the small stuff like a simple cough or a rash and even worrying that the child is not crying enough. While it is true that real health challenges and serious ailments may call for concern and worry, healthy babies have been known to exhibit different types of symptoms like colic and diarrhea. You need to let go a little bit and learn to relax. You cannot control everything. Know that spitting up and vomiting are few of the things a baby does, though admittedly they are a bit scary. Do not, however, be overly anxious since babies can pick up on your anxiety.

Yes, being a new parent can become too worrisome. With that said, you should also accept that raising a child should be a positive experience. Being anxious over every little thing will get in the way of you enjoying your baby’s first months. Babies are actually tougher than we give them credit for.

Bottom line is that, once you have taken care of yourself through the pregnancy and once the baby is born, all you really need to do and all you really can do is give them food, shelter, clothing and all the loving. They should be fine. They cry here and there, but as long as you take care of the basics, they grow like weeds; the best thing is to concentrate on spending time with them and enjoying this period of their lives because it goes by so fast.

Underestimating the power of routines

Being home with an infant is no easy task. Sure, it looked easy when other people did it. It is not. It is more akin to getting a new job except you have a smaller human as a boss. Probably more demanding, too. The key here is not to overestimate your free time. If you are a first time parent, you need to set a routine and follow it religiously. This will help you and your baby tremendously. Babies are strongly influenced by the environment around them, and a daily routine will greatly affect how well you manage them. They are creatures of habit and routines make them feel secure, which translates to fewer problems, such as crying or not eating, for you.

Remember that a baby does not simply fit into your old life. You have to carve out an entirely new life, now that you have a baby. Setting a routine and schedule will help you feel as if you still have some level of control. The routine will also help you as a new parent to cope with the challenges of parenthood with ease because you will have fewer issues to deal with, and more time to spend with your spouse or by yourself recharging.

Foregoing your happiness and your relationship

This brings us to the next mistake, forgetting about your needs and those of your partner. It is truly challenging to transition from a carefree life with just you and your partner to a completely new life where you become both responsible for the life of your baby. Marital troubles are bound to arise. Stress that could put tension on your relationship is normal. But your marriage should not take a backseat in your life. You have to make it a priority along with taking good care of your baby. Staying connected as a couple in your partnership is very important.

Any weakness in your relationship can easily be amplified when there is a child involved. You have to be able to maintain your partnership. Babies can pick up on the negativity. Make a habit out of focusing on each other, as well. You both need to nurture each other so that life does not become mechanical and that you can maintain happiness in your relationship. A happy person will make a good parent. Make sure to make some time for you and your partner at least once a week, without the baby. Spend quality time together. Don’t shut each other out. Share the load of being parents. Let your partner do his part without hovering and being overly critical.

The fact is, babies need their parents to get along. Even if you are a single parent he/she needs to know that the people around him/her are getting along. For some reason, they pick up on negative vibes and this makes them irritable. Handling your relationships well is not only suitable for you, but for your baby, as well. It’s common for partners to neglect each other at this time, but this is wrong as it is the time when you need each other the most in order to enjoy the birth of your child and get through any rough patches with ease.

Listening to others and ignoring your instincts

This is your child, and they have a unique connection to you that instinctively helps you to nurture them in the way that is best for them. A classic parenting mistake is going to the wrong places for parenting advice. Many first time parents suppress their instincts and listen to the people around them excessively. This is wrong because each child is different. Your child won’t behave like that of another because you mimic their parenting style. Do not compare your baby’s development with that of others. Every baby has his own pace.

Expected milestones from developmental charts are merely averages and as long as your baby is within the normal range, do not fret too much about it. Learn to take criticism and advice with a pinch of salt and concentrate on knowing your child and how to relate to them. Do not believe everything you hear. Everyone in your life who has had a baby will naturally want to offer you an advice or two. Thank them graciously for their offering but keep in mind that the only option that really matters is what your instinct tells you. If you follow each advice that everyone else is giving you, you will be taking away from yourself the chance to fully explore what probably will be the most creative role that you would ever have in your life.

Read all you can about babies and listen to advice from others, but make decisions based on your baby and your parental instincts. This will save you a lot of anxiety and unnecessary action. Instead of consulting other parents, try reading up on general medical care for babies on WebMD.com and the American Academy of Pediatrics instead. These are reputable sources that can come in useful when you are making decisions about the proper childcare for your baby.​

Not getting enough rest

It is pretty common to mistake staying up while the baby is asleep to do other chores as a good thing. Maybe even industrious. It is so hard to resist finishing all those chores when you finally have your hands free. There always seems so many things to do. According to studies, new parents suffer a loss of 400 to 750 hours of sleep during the first 12 months of their baby. That is a lot. If you don’t get enough rest, you will soon find yourself so exhausted that you are dropping a plate or two when you are cleaning up. God forbid you drop the baby. Get enough rest. Snooze daily while your baby is resting. On the weekends, do take a long nap to be able to properly recuperate. Do not underestimate the power of sleep. When you are well rested, you are energized enough to actually enjoy what should be one of the happiest time in your life.

Failing to stick to a budget

As new parents, it is quite easy to lose one’s ground when it comes to wanting to provide everything for the baby. An average of $6200 is how much a baby will cost you in his first year. That is $6200 worth of clothes, food, diaper, strollers, furniture and all the other baby essentials. Going inside a local baby store can leave your checkbook significantly thinner than when you came in. When going shopping, be sure to take along with you an experienced parent who can show you the ins and outs of buying only what your baby actually needs. Minimize the desire to shop for cute baby clothes that they will outgrow in days. Skip on the numerous toys that are tempting to purchase. They will be happily contented with just one. It is best to save your money for the future of your baby, like his college tuition for instance.

Not taking enough souvenirs

Your baby will go through a number of milestones, and while you are honest to goodness sure that you will never forget each moment, odds are, you will. Watching a baby grow is like watching the world go by in time-lapse. It goes by quickly, and in a flurry. One day when your baby has grown into a young adult, you would want to look back on his infancy. Luckily, these days, keeping track of your baby’s milestones isn’t that difficult. With all the technology and social media that let us document any given moment in our lives, preserving cherishable moments have never been easier.

Neglecting your baby’s oral health

Most parents make the mistake of not thinking about their newborn baby’s oral health until it is too late. It is never too early to get your baby started on good oral health habits. Just because he doesn’t have any teeth yet does not mean his oral health does not need any taking care of. Before bedtime, wipe down your baby’s gums with a wet gauze. Once your baby turns 1 year of age, you may start introducing him to the concept of brushing his teeth with a toothbrush. Once your baby’s milk teeth have started growing, avoid feeding him in bed or risk the development of cavities, which are also known as baby bottle decay. Be sure to provide your baby enough fluoride. You may ask your child’s dentist about getting supplements in case you do not have access to fluoridated water.

Panicking when your baby is crying

Crying is the primary form of communication for babies. Crying is how they communicate to us, and it does not always have to mean that there is something wrong that we need to fix. Babies still cry even when they have already been fed and when their diapers have already been changed. Sometimes, they just need to cry it out and you just need to let them do it. Do worry when your baby has been inconsolable for more than an hour and is accompanied by a fever or rash. That would be the time to go and consult your doctor.

Waking your baby from sleep just to breastfeed

While breastfeeding is indeed the best for babies, one common mistake of new parents is being too strict about it. Yes, it is good that your baby is breastfed. No, it is not okay to wake him up from sleep just to feed him. Let him sleep through the night, as we all should. You might be thinking that breast milk might not be thick enough to keep the baby full through the night. It is a common misconception. If it isn’t, the baby will let you know. Meanwhile, let us agree that both breastfed babies and mommies can sleep through the night.

Originally posted 2013-11-10 09:40:42.

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