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theastrophilearchitect · 4 years ago

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WandaVision series review part 3.

You'd think I'd have learnt my lesson now--save the damn draft before you switch tabs to find the tags you want to add. But I haven't. Clearly.

The last two weeks I've posted parts 1 and 2 of my WandaVision review, because, even though by the time this goes up, WandaVision will have ended nearly a month ago, it's still all I can think about. Part 1 contained my initial thoughts and episodes 1-3 breakdown; part 2 contained episodes 4-6 breakdown, and this part will contain my episodes 6-9 breakdown and my final thoughts.

Episode Seven: ‘Breaking the Fourth Wall’ This episode was released on February 19th, with a runtime of still 37 minutes, following a 2000s-style sitcom format heavily influenced by Modern Family.

Cue the recap, and we open to Wanda waking up in an empty bed. We then cut to an interview-style scene which I assume is based off Modern Family or another sitcom, like the interviews intermingled with reality TV, but there’s nothing to really pick apart; it’s just entertaining. The twins then run into Wanda’s bedroom and tell her their ‘game is freaking out’, and we see their controllers change over and over with that scarlet-TV texture. Billy comments that his head is noisy, an echo of the power shown in episode six, similar to Wanda’s own.

Interview-Wanda then says as punishment for expanding the borders, she plans on taking ‘a quarantine-style stay-cation’, which, written probably in 2019, did not age well. She goes downstairs to make milk, and it transforms between a carton and a bottle. These object shifts may be implying as Wanda expands the borders, she loses more and more control of even the things right beside her--the Hex is falling apart.

Cut to Hayward and SWORD setting up a new camp beside the new border of the Hex, but further back than before, likely to give them more time to move if it happens again.

Vision then wakes up in the circus the original SWORD camp was turned into, and, looking like his synthezoid self, is assumed to be a clown. He then sees Darcy, dressed as an escape artist, but she doesn’t remember him, clearly under Wanda’s control.

Wanda asks the twins if they’ve seen Vision, they ask if she wants them to look for him, and she replies, ‘If he doesn’t want to be here, there’s nothing I can do about it.’ It seems like she’s trying to defer her guilt at what she’s down to the townspeople. The twins then ask about Pietro--’Do not believe anything that man said. He is not your uncle.’ We saw Wanda blast him into a haystack towards the end of the last episode, but now he’s simply vanished. Wanda then laughs that she has none of the answers they expect her to, and makes some nihilistic comments. She uses her magic to open the door to a knock, and enter Agnes, who takes the kids next door to give Wanda some alone time. The furniture then begins to shift into pieces from the other decades, but Wanda fixes it.

Cut to Jimmy and Monica in a military vehicle they stole in the last episode, and Jimmy explains in Darcy’s hacking, she found a secret project called Cataract, to bring Vision back online--to fix the Vision. But it failed, until Wanda brought him back, which was why Hayward was so focused on Vision over Wanda in the Hex. They then meet some non-SWORD military people, who unveil a higher-grade vehicle, presumably for Monica to attempt to safely re-enter the Hex.

God, I love seeing Darcy in this show. She was the only good thing about the first two Thor movies. So Vision zaps Darcy, and she wakes up. They steal a circus vehicle--a transformed SWORD vehicle--and Vision asks her some questions about the Hex she doesn’t actually know the answers to.

The tension really builds in this episode, simply as it cuts between characters in much shorter intervals than in previous ones. We watch a montage of things in Wanda’s house shifting, then cut to an interview, where she explains that she doesn’t know what’s happening. Then, the person behind the camera asks, ‘Do you think maybe this is what you deserve?’ The voice doesn’t sound familiar, but knowing who the interviewer is, I can hear it. Wanda questions this because the interviewer isn’t supposed to talk, then cut to this episode’s advert.

This is for a drug called Nexus--’A unique anti-depressant that works to anchor you back to your reality. Or the reality of your choice.’ ‘Nexus. Because the world doesn’t revolve around you. Or does it?’ As someone who hasn’t actually read any comics, this information is very second-hand, but a Nexus Being in the comics is a powerful being with the power to alter reality and time--essentially in possession of the Infinity Stones’ powers without possessing the Stones themselves. This brings with it the implication that is what Wanda is--more than just a girl who got powers from the Mind Stone, but Nexus Beings aren’t elaborated on in the rest of the show.

Cut to Agnes and the twins; Billy says he likes it there, because Agnes’s mind is quiet, which is compared to Wanda. I want to explain the implications of this, but I’ve been trying to only spoil things as I get to them, so I’m going to keep my mouth shut, or rather... what’s the keyboard equivalent? God knows. Anyway, Agnes tells them not to worry about Wanda, because ‘she’s supermom’, which, you know, is a fun superhero thing.

Cut back to Monica, who prepares some kind of suit to re-enter the Hex. She gets in, and drives toward the barrier, but when the wheels meet it, they fail to pass, and begin to drive up the barrier, flipping Monica onto her back. The vehicle begins to rewrite itself and break apart; Monica manages to clamber out of a trapdoor in the roof. Jimmy prepares a medical thing, and the barrier spits out the vehicle. Monica turns back, drops her helmet, and plunges into the barrier, and presses through. Her body warps, we hear echoes of Captain Marvel, we hear Carol’s quote about Maria being given the toughest kid, and her body reforms, her eyes light up blue, and she passes all the way through, eyes still glowing, and we see a shots of her warped vision, almost as though she can see energy or EM radiation.

Darcy tries to explain why Wanda killed Vision to him, and though the road is empty, a traffic light is red. As it turns green, roadworkers approach, impeding them and preventing Vision from returning to central Westview.

Monica enters Wanda’s house, who threatens her, and lifts her telekinetically out onto the street, where she is watched by the neighbours. Wanda drops Monica to the ground, but she pulls a superhero landing, with blue lights for effect--her DNA has been rewritten by the Hex’s borders for the third time, and it’s clearly unlocked something. Wanda continues to threaten her, and Monica says to do it--’Don’t let [Hayward] make you the villain,’ to which Wanda replies, ‘Maybe I already am.’ Which is fair, but then villains never think they’re the bad guys.

Agnes watches them from a window. Monica tries to talk Wanda down, then Agnes comes outside, tells Monica to leave, and takes her inside. The people haven’t questioned Wanda’s magic, or Monica’s apparent new powers, which merely shows the extent of Wanda’s control. It’s also interesting that Monica didn’t fall under her control again when she re-entered the Hex.

Cut to Vision and Darcy, the roadworks clear away, but someone with a stop sign and a queue of crossing children continue to block their way. Vision phases through the van’s roof, and flies away.

Wanda notices the kids’ show on Agnes’s TV, and the half-eaten food on the coffee table, and realises the twins are missing. She asks, and Agnes tells her they’re probably in the basement, where Wanda then obviously goes. The basement walls are covered in branches, made of stone, and there is no reply when Wanda calls for the twins. She then enters an ancient chamber, walls engraved with runes, and a spellbook on the side.

Agnes comes downstairs, stroking Senor Scratchy, the rabbit Wanda and Vision used in their magic act way back in episode two, and says, ‘You didn’t think you were the only magical girl in town, did you?’ Agnes shuts the door with a twist of her hand and some purple sparks.

‘The name’s Agatha Harkness. Lovely to finally meet you, dear.’

Purple fogs Wanda’s eyes, and cue the best moment in the entire series: Agatha All Along. This musical number essentially shows that Agatha has been behind everything that’s gone wrong for Wanda, aside from SWORD, obviously, and is such a good song. Go listen to it. Now. Immediately. Go.

We see her screw up the magic show, send Pietro to the door, and we see her sitting behind the interview camera.

‘And I killed Sparky, too.’ Insert maniacal laughter, and cue the credits.

We sit through to the split between the animated credits and typical black and white scrolling ones, and this episode has an mid-credits scene. I checked for one the first few episodes, then gave up, and I can’t remember what it was that made me find this one, if it was just letting the credits play, or feeling the odd urge to check, or what.

We watch Monica try to find a way into Agatha’s house. She pulls open basement doors, then--’Snooper’s gonna snoop.’ Fake Pietro stands behind her, dressed in a beanie, hair no longer mostly white as per Quicksilver’s design.

This is my second-favourite episode overall, first being episode 8, and contains the biggest switch since episode 4. We meet the big bad, since Marvel is literally incapable of writing a story in which the climax isn’t between the hero and a villain with their exact same powers. (WandaVision takes this to the extreme, but that would be a spoiler.)

Episode Eight: ‘Previously On’ Released February 26th, Marvel blessed us with an episode 46 minutes long! At last! This was the second episode to completely break the sitcom format (first being episode 4, obviously), which leaves us in 2000s-themed Westview, but without a laugh track or any other sitcom elements.

We open with a recap, including Jimmy Woo’s explanation of Wanda and Pietro’s origins pre-Avengers from what I believe was episode 5. Or was it 4? Probably 4, because it was really soon after Hayward was introduced, in episode 4. Yes. Let’s go with that.

This episode opens in Salem, Massachusetts, 1693, and we watch Agatha dragged to and magically tied to a stake, to be killed for betraying her coven of witches, by practising dark magic, but she denies it. She then relents and admits it, begs for help to control it, but the witches blast some kind of blue magic at her, which Agatha turns violet, and absorbs, killing the witches wielding it. The witch she calls mother, who also seems to be the leader of the coven, blasts her with magic after the others are dead, and as she does so, a kind of crown of the same blue light glows around her head (something I would neither notice nor question if I had not yet watched the series the whole way through). Agatha absorbs her magic and kills her, too. She steals a necklace from her mother, flies away, and we cut back to present.

Wanda tries to penetrate Agatha’s mind, but she tells her her thoughts were never available--a repeat of Billy calling her mind ‘quiet’ in episode 7, but I’m not actually sure the point of this, aside from limiting information available to both Wanda and the audience. Wanda’s Sokovian accent also returns in this scene. She tries to use her magic, but Agnes puts her in magical binds and explains that the runes in the walls mean ‘only the witch who cast the runes can use her magic’. Agatha also explains how she possessed fake Pietro--Fietro--not so she could control his mind, but so she could see through his eyes and ears.

Agatha questions how Wanda cast so many spells to control so many people, so many objects and locations all at once, when she had no magical training, which confuses Wanda because she doesn’t use incantations the way Agatha does; her magic is more through willpower and intention.

Agatha then brings Wanda through a door, in an attempt to comprehend how she did it, and it leads them to an old, one-room living space in Sokovia--Wanda’s childhood, before her parents died. They prepare for a TV night, and their father invites young Wanda to pick, showing her a box containing various sitcoms--Bewitched, Malcolm in the Middle, I love Lucy, Who’s the Boss?, The Addams Family etc.--many of which acted as the basis for episodes of WandaVision, but she chooses The Dick Van Dyke Show. This love of sitcoms, the ideation in comparison to the Cold War outside, is where Wanda’s subconscious choice of making Westview into one--her version of a paradise for herself and Vision.

Then a bomb goes off outside, killing their parents and leaving Wanda and Pietro in rubble. A bomb lands before them, Stark Industries written on the side, but their television is behind it, and Dick Van Dyke still plays.

Cut back to present Wanda and Agatha; Wanda says the bomb was defective, but they were trapped for two days, and Agatha implies it not going off was Wanda’s doing, believing her to be a witch like herself.

They move onto a HYDRA testing chamber, where teenage volunteer-Wanda stands near the sceptre from The Avengers, the one Thanos gave to Loki, the one containing the Mind Stone. She moves toward it, and the sceptre’s blue orb breaks from the handle; floats towards her. She touches it, and it bursts, revealing the yellow Mind Stone inside, and letting out a kind of wind blast. In the light, Wanda sees a silhouette reminiscent of the original Scarlet Witch design.

They take Wanda to isolation, and we watch some scientist replay the tape from the testing chamber, but in the footage, the orb doesn’t move; she moves to the room’s centre, then it cuts to her lying on the ground.

Agatha concludes that the Mind Stone amplified a dormant power, and they move to a memory of the Avengers compound post-Avengers: Age of Ultron. Past-Wanda is grieving for Pietro, Vision enters her room, and she invites him to sit. They discuss the comedy on her TV, then he asks if she wants to talk about her grief, and she describes it as ‘this wave washing over [her], again and again. It knocks [her] down, and when [she tries] to stand up, it just comes for [her] again.’ Vision tries to reassure her, then says the thing that everyone’s been quoting but hit me hard: ‘But what is grief, if not love persevering?’

Agatha asks present-Wanda what happened when there was no-one there to pull her back from the dark, and when Wanda refuses, she presses. They shift into the SWORD compound, where past-Wanda approaches the desk demanding to be given Vision’s body post-Avengers: Endgame. This is the point from the CCTV Hayward showed Monica, Darcy, and Jimmy, claiming Wanda stole Vision’s body.

The receptionist calls somebody, and sends her down the hall, and I can’t help but notice that in her grief, in her hoodie and jeans, her hair is perfectly curled. She goes to Hayward’s office, who takes her into a windowed chamber, beneath which she can see mechanics/engineers doing something to Vision’s body, colour faded and parts broken up. The eyes in his severed head are white, and Wanda is upset, but Hayward questions why she wants to bury him, when she has the power to ‘bring [her] soulmate back online.’ But Wanda says she can’t do it, like when she refused to bring back Sparky, and Hayward tells her his materials are too valuable to just be buried, but offers her the chance to say goodbye. He tells her Vision isn’t hers, and she shatters the glass; lowers herself into the room.

Hayward calls off the guards who raise their guns at her. She lifts her power to his head, where the mind stone was: ‘I can’t feel you,’ reminiscent of the I just feel you, in Avengers: Infinity War, when the Stone bothered him in the night in Scotland. And she leaves, without the body, proving to the audience that Hayward is a liar.

Wanda drives to Westview, real Westview, where she watches the people go about their regular lives, but they seem sad. They all seem sad. She drives to a plot, the outline of a house marked by a concrete foundation, holding a piece of paper from an envelope in the car. She unfolds it to find a plan for the house: To grow old in. -V. Wanda breaks down in what is presumably the plot she turned into their house in the Hex, and her power explodes from her, in huge gusts we’ve never seen. The house forms itself, then it goes further, transforming the town and turning it to monochrome in preparation for WandaVision episode one.

Streams of power turn gold in the air, and form the silhouette of a body, which solidifies into Vision, black and white Vision, dressed in 50s clothes. Wanda remains in colour, in her regular clothes, then she turns to monochrome, to her 50s outfit, and Vision greets her. And despite the seriousness of this scene I can’t get over the damn bullet bra.

And the pair sit down to watch the television, then the surroundings shift, and we see present-Wanda in her 2000s living room, but in a set, with empty seats for a live audience before her. Agatha claps from them, then vanishes. We hear the twins yell, and Wanda comes outside to find Agatha magically garrotting them, dressed in full-witchy attire.

Agatha describes Wanda as ‘a being capable of spontaneous creation’, calls it chaos magic--’And that makes you the Scarlet Witch.’ I feel like I ought to say roll credits, only that’s not even the name of the show. Before WandaVision’s title was officially announced, I remember seeing speculation that it would simply be called Vision and the Scarlet Witch, like Falcon and the Winter Soldier.

The credits roll, and, halfway through, we cut to Hayward and SWORD outside the Hex. Hayward goes into a tent, describes all their hard work at something, ‘but all we needed was a little energy directly from the source;’ and we’re shown the missile Wanda dragged out of the Hex in episode 5, glowing red. Someone flips a switch, and we watch lights turn on in a glass chamber, containing Vision, rendered in pure white, who wakes up. Another Vision, made from the original, and yet before this episode, due to the constant thing about twins, people were speculating there were two Wandas. Wrong character, right idea.

This is my favourite episode in the show: it’s magical, and it makes everything make so much more sense. We see that the Hex’s creation was an accident, but Wanda was ‘making it up as [she went] along,’ like the theme song in, I believe, episode 5. I just love origin stories.

Episode Nine: ‘The Series Finale’ This finale was released on March 5th, with a grand total of 49 minutes of runtime, and, epic as it was, I found it to be rather disappointing, following a fairly typical Marvel formula, compared to the originality of the rest of the series. Granted, parts of this episode in particular were shot in 2020, so they didn’t quite go as planned, but still. The CGI is excellent though.

We open to exactly where we left off; Wanda frees the twins and sends them inside, then sends a blast at Agatha, who absorbs it-- ‘I take power from the undeserving. It’s kinda my thing’--and Wanda’s hand begins to blacken. Agatha offers her Westview in return for her magic, which Wanda obviously doesn’t accept. White Vision lands behind her, and she goes to him, confused. He places his hands on her face, but presses, trying to crack her skull, and it becomes clear he is doing Hayward’s bidding.

In sweeps Wanda’s Westview-Vision (who we’ll call Red Vision) and blasts White Vision away. The two swoop off together for their own fight, Wanda flies after Agatha, and we see Monica locked in a messy living room with Fietro, where she has presumably been since the end of episode 7.

The Visions fight each other, in that classic Marvel way of pitting the hero against a villain with an identical skillset (I’m looking at you, Iron Man, The Incredible Hulk, and basically every other movie. Seriously, Marvel needs to make more villains like Loki, instead of introducing them at the start of a film and having them somehow taken out of the equation by the end). It’s a cool sequence, as they phase through each other and plummet up and down. I love flying sequences.

At SWORD, Jimmy calls out Hayward, saying he won’t be able to cover this out, but Hayward says Wanda stopped her show, so there’s no evidence, and there’ll only be one Vision by the end, who people will assume Wanda resurrected. But Jimmy says he has called some friends from Quantico--whatever that is--to expose Hayward, who handcuffs him, but Jimmy is a magician, so he frees himself and actually calls somebody to apprehend Hayward.

Wanda arrives in the town square, to no sign of Agatha, and is then blasted to the ground by her from behind. Agatha summons a book we saw in her basement: ‘The Scarlet Witch is not born, she is formed. She has no coven, no need for incantation. [Her] power exceeds that of the Sorcerer Supreme’--Doctor Strange--’It’s [her] destiny to destroy the world.’ But Wanda denies that she is a witch. Agatha casts a spell on Dottie from episode 2, apparently bringing her back to consciousness. She tells Wanda her name is Sarah, and begs her to let her bring her daughter out of her room. Wanda accuses Agatha, who replies, ‘She’s your meat puppet. I just cut her strings.’ I just love that line, for some reason.

Agatha casts another spell, and everyone in the square returns to their senses, approaches and surrounds Wanda.

Monica finds a document in the room with Fietro, that says his name is Ralph Bohner. This was incredibly unsatisfying to me--it’s interesting that Fietro is actually the Ralph Agnes constantly mentioned, but nothing else comes of this, and, as of the end of the series, Pietro and his changed face are simply an elaborate boner joke. I wish his face had some kind of relevance as of now, but it may become relevant in Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness, because that’s obviously where we’re really going to delve into the multiverse, and it features Wanda, so it would make sense.

Monica pins down Ralph and tears a string of beads from his neck, which glowed purple; the thing allowing Agatha to control him.

In the twins’ room, Billy has a vision (heh) of what is happening with Wanda, and they run outside.

The people around Wanda bombard her with their real stories, their real problems. ‘When you let us sleep, we have your nightmares.’ She yells that she’s kept these people safe, but they beg to be freed, and the noise builds, until Wanda screams, with a burst of power that toes ropes around their necks, suffocating them, but she stops it. Mrs Hart begs her, ‘If you won’t let us go, just let us die.’ Agatha taunts her that heroes don’t torture people, and she sends out a blast of power, that highlights the Hex’s border crimson, and it begins to break apart. She tells them all to leave now.

His white counterpart blasts Red vision to the ground, near Wanda but he begins to break apart. The twins arrive, and begin to break apart, tied to the Hex. It looks weirdly like a LEGO advert, but Wanda recloses to Hex to save them. You know, what? I’m still not sure why it’s hexagonal. I wouldn’t question it being round, or quadrilateral, but hexagonal seems too intentional.

Agatha blasts the family with magic, and Wanda shields them, but Agatha absorbs the power. SWORD vehicles roll into the square, hayward in one, having apparently managed to cross the border before Wanda closed it again. White Vision rolls into the scene and slams Red Vision through the walls of and into a library, and Red stops White attacking him by explaining that he is not the true Vision, because he’s just Wanda’s version.

Wanda flies up, again after Agatha, while the twins use their powers to take away SWORD’s guns, and Hayward comes out with a pistol, which he fires at them, but Monica, having freed herself from Ralph, blocks the bullets. They ripple through her body, and pass through, but fall to the ground as her eyes glow orange. As Hayward drives back, then revs up to apparently run them over, Darcy, in the circus van, slams his vehicle into the side of a building.

We cut to the Vision’s pondering the Ship of Theseus--a philosophical thought experiment. If the Ship of Theseus has one of its planks replaced, it remains the Ship of Theseus. But, if all the planks are replaced over time, is it still the same ship? And what if the old planks are reassembled into another ship; which is then the true ship? This is a metaphor for the two Vision’s--White being the reassembly of the old planks, and Red being the replaced.

Red Vision proposes that the true ship is the one touched by Theseus himself, with the wear and tear, suggesting White Vision is the true one, because he has the memories Red doesn’t; the one touched by Wanda. White Vision claims he does not have the memories, but Red tells him his data banks are not so easily wiped--they’re there, just withheld. White allows Red to do his zappy thing, and the memories of everything Vision went through pre-WandaVision comes back to him. White says he is the true Vision, and flies away through the roof.

Meanwhile, Wanda sneaks up behind Agnes and does the nightmare-mind thing she did to the Avengers at the beginning of Avengers: Age of Ultron, sending her mind to the stake at the opening of episode 8. The desiccated witches rise, but instead turn on Wanda, calling her a witch, again, and again. The witches wrest Wanda onto the stake instead, but a red crown, like the blue on Agatha’s mother in episode 8, materialises on her head, formed of the same light as her magic. It’s really jarring at this point that she’s still in a hoodie and sweatpants.

Wanda blasts away the other witches, and they emerge from the nightmare, back to Westview. She and Agatha rise, blast magic at one another, and Wanda’s hands blacken further as Agatha absorbs more and more. She sends a blast at one of Westview’s walls, and a spot ripples in the middle of each.

Wanda’s face seems to age, like the witches of Agatha’s coven, and Agatha absorbs streams of magic, until Wanda has none left. She gives her some depressing lecture, then tries to blast Wanda out of the sky, but it doesn’t work. Her hands begin to blacken, and Wanda’s face youthens, then the camera pans to reveal runes on Westview’s walls, like those in the basement, now disabling Agatha’s magic. Little confused how Wanda stayed flying when Agatha took her power, and how Agatha now stays flying.

The red crown reappears on Wanda’s head, her eyes glow, she reabsorbs her power from Agatha, and, as she does, she changes. Her hair comes down, and she becomes the silhouette she saw in the Mind Stone at HYDRA, finally getting a Scarlet Witch costume, and it is epic.

They return to the ground, and Wanda uses her powers to put Agatha under the control she had the other residents under, to turn her into the Nosy Neighbour once and for all. Wanda leaves Agatha alive, so she could return in future instalments,.

Wanda, Red Vision, and the twins return to their home, and the Hex’s border contracts, until it covers only their street. They put the boys to bed, and Vision begins, ‘Your mother and I...’, and, when I first watched this, I really thought he was going to say ‘...are getting a divorce,’ but he simply finishes, ‘...are very proud of you both.’

Wanda says that ‘a family is forever,’ clearly already in mourning for the children she’s about to lose. They finish up, the border continues contracting, and Wanda turns off the lamps in the living room, though Vision turns one on, to say goodbye. As the border progresses towards them, Vision asks what he is, and says some literal and romantic crap; they kiss, talk a little, and he breaks apart as the border reaches them, and the house returns to the empty plot it once was.

Wanda is left standing exactly how she was before she formed the Hex, same hair, same clothes, puts up her hood, and walks into town. where the people glare as she approaches Monica, who says, ‘They’ll never know what you sacrificed for them.’ They have a classic series-wrap-up conversation, then Wanda shifts into her Scarlet Witch outfit, and flies away.

Mid-credits scene; we see Jimmy just after the debrief, Hayward is put in handcuffs, and Monica is called into the theatre, where she meets someone wearing a police badge, who shifts into a skrull. The skrull says a friend of Monica’s mother’s would like to meet with her, presumably Talos, and when Monica asks where, she just points up.

And an end-credits scene opens in a pan shot, zooming to a cabin by a lake in the woods, where Wanda, dressed in sweats, sits on the porch with a mug. We follow her inside as the kettle whistles, but the camera continues into the bedroom, where her astral form sits, dressed as the Scarlet Witch, with the Darkhold, the book Agatha had. When we see Doctor Strange astral-project, his body falls unconscious, and this truly proves the Scarlet Witch is more powerful than the Sorcerer Supreme, as aforementioned.

This series really solidified my love for Wanda and Vision--Wanda, who I liked before, but mostly because of her powers than her character, which lacked development, and Vision, who I kinda hated because of his moral-high-ground bullshit, but who I now love--brought back fan favourites Darcy Lewis and Jimmy Woo, and set up Monica’s future plotlines. In truth, I liked Agatha better before she went full-witch mode, but she was an enjoyable villain. Hayward, on the other hand, was someone easy to hate, but not to such a level it was fun to hate him.

Every episode kept me on my feet, and every week I screamed I couldn’t wait for another. Part of my love for this was because we’d had no MCU content since July 2019, with Spider-Man: Far From Home, but it was just such excellent storytelling. Though the climax was a little disappointing, it was still more entertaining than most action sequences, where things happen so quickly I just zone out, and the visuals were incredible. I loved the sitcoms, and the differentiation at the end. Episode 4 was the perfect time to finally give us some form of explanation.

Basically, watch this damn show. Though I’d be surprised if you got this far without watching it. Watch it, make everyone else watch it, and, writers, take notes. The best stories are the ones with excellent characters and an excellent plot, and WandaVision mastered it.

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cfaithjournal-blog · 7 years ago

Text

Alfonso Brenno

‘’You know in Sicily, in Macalube in that area in there, how hot it is. I don’t know if you notice it but on the left hand side of Macalube there was a house on there. [Nana: ‘’They wouldn’t notice that, duck’’]. Anyway that side of that house, the sun, very hot sun, in the mid of July, in middle of day, very hot. Have to do it cause my dad was in the army, nobody else, I was the oldest, a 12-year-old, going to school. And me and the money well, I was in charge of the animal there [the family farm]. I was a little lad I would […] the animal here and there…’’

‘’Well, somebody sitting there…’’ [interruption]

‘’Anyway, can you listen Angela? I don’t know if I told you that. And one-day sitting on that rocker [somebody was calling to an old man]. Well I was a 12 year old, he was 44. And about 3 o’clock we turn the animal round and they come back up and go home. With the sheep you go very steady you see. Anyway this man said to this old man, he was sitting there with the black coat with the thing over the head, a cape and big cape to ‘’keep you cold’’ he say. Anyway the man said ‘’what you doing in here with this weather, something gonna happen to you’’. He said ‘’nothing happening to me now’’. He say ‘’come back in the house’’. He say, ‘’in the shade get and cool down.’’ He said ‘’okay’’. Anyway he say ‘’…and my son, my son’’. (Not to me, to the man). Yeah, did I told you this to you Angela? A [I] said, on the 60’s, man, he be on top of there pointing to the moon. [Nana: In the summer you can still see, you know how you can still see the moon even though the sun is down?] I don’t know if it was 1945 when they drop the bomb in Japan, yeah in Hiroshima, disaster come down but in the 60’s man go there, but on the 70, man will be dancing, playing, enjoying himself… a good life he be there. But after the […]. Disaster after disaster… come through. I said, he told me: ‘’me and you wont of been there’’ [the ‘old man’ to the other ‘old man’] ‘’…but maybe this boy (me) will be of there till 35 or that [..] and we’d see what happens’’. What he say, has been true all the time.

Anyway this old man maybe 35, 36 when we go to Elim [a church in Stoke on Trent]. [I] had a dream. [Nana: ‘’[…] 1970’’]. – No before that I had a dream: John O’Lesy, Howard and the Lloyd, what he name? No, Dennis Lloyd. There was Dennis Lloyd, there was the leader of the union [Nana: ‘’church leaders’’]. He said to me ‘’three of them they’re gonna apply’’ that’s my dream, ‘’three of them, on the, apply for the ministry, but only one will be understanding that’’ [will see it through]. Anyway there was put all of the young people […]. And a very strong wind, a black cloud come down. He said to me, shouting, ‘’get all together they will be alright (in my dream) grab them by the hand and pull them up to the sky’’ and took them to the ‘Mount of Olives’. And there, he say ‘’look at them there’’ he say, ‘’below there…’’. The Angel in White, they all people in white, with a basket hamper of bread and fruit to give to the people, you see the people who last to the end [Nana: ‘’…are fortunate’’] ‘’blessed to the people who are to the end’’ he say. After the 2000, disaster. He say ‘’the people who rest, behind [left behind] there not many people to bury the dead’’.

And a couple of weeks ago I had another dream, I’ve been telling your mama about that. That oil you brought [mum and dad’s gift from Jersey], go to the church and hold it to somebody, and he wasn’t know. [Nana: ‘’He couldn’t hear ya cause’ he’s death’’] … yeah like me. I told him nothing about the man nothing about God *dusts hands*. Before I never see straight, the old man, all I see is black thing. I don’t know now [blurry confusion].

***

‘’For 20 years, for 20 years I paid for this church. Not pay, pray. 20 years pray to the church. And then they come from the […]. I want answer, about Julie [auntie]. I said ‘Lord, bring me Julie, it don’t matter how, no sickness. It took 25 years, to pray, for that. [Nana: ‘’Our time isn’t Gods time though – makes no difference’’]. And she come back, I know she came back with the cancer, but still come back. [Nana: ‘There are things we don’t know, people will argue that over the centuaries over centuries that there has always been disasters. And we are more aware now, we got the televevision, we got the internet, we got the facilities, that bring these things to us – you’re not listening to me are ya – that bring these things to us quicker than years ago, you know? We know about tsunamis, we know about floods and pests and everything, way before you know the other side of the world properly.]

Last year when I had the stroke, when, I don’t know nothing about [‘’- your dad can’t remember anything about it’’] cant remember when she where you are. I look around and stuck, stuck in the university hospital. I in hospital, stuck. I say why you no answer, and then I say later I don’t know if I said to you or somebody else. I said to you six hours without moving there [Nana: I can’t remember] [Angela: Four hours’ dad, you had to lie still for four hours] Four hour without moving. I wasn’t […] my body. [Nana: The surgeon, she said to me, she said, you, the strength of this man, she said, for this man, I have never known anyone, who can stay like that, she said we told him not to move and he didn’t. He was in one position, because if he had moved that would have been it. Because they had to put a thing up, through his groin and to his brain, you see, and grab all of this blood that was all over his brain, you know, the colt that was on his brain. She said he is an exceptionally strong man, she said, I have never experienced a person that can do that’’] I was not in my body, I was out of me body. I was talking with Jennifer [auntie], yeah, about bbq [Nana: oh yeah you were full of that weren’t you when you came round. He was dreaming about that when he came round.] And that’s all I can remember. And then I wake up.

And the thing that was inside of me body, the thing that was out of me body, I talk with Jennifer. so I come from there with no stick and come home. [Nana: …well it’s a miracle. But miracles happen, you know, miracles do happen, you know. I say that every morning when I get out of bed.] Come out like that. In Italy, when I was Shepard, after the War, before the war finished the destroyed [Nana: they blew all of the bombs up. All of the bombs that the Italians, that the soliders left, they blew them all up, the kids were playing with them and they blew them all up]. The man in charge of the town found out that thr armny, the Italian army, blew everything out and ,let the German have it, and let the granaid and shell, everything in the country. And one day , th shell I saw somebody with a grenade and there was no thing in it. Anyway I turn the sheep the other way round and throw stone in it . striahgt in that bomb the shell blew up. And one of the shell, cut all me hair from me *shows* there and there, felt like a strong wind go through me hair, and I know nothing about. The man said whatasup with your hair, no its burning. I say, the blow window on me hair, the shell from the grenade. I say […]. [Nana: everybody, everybody has their life planned out’’].

‘’Me shoulder blade, me collar bone break, then me lungs, me heart, so, everything else, the Lord keep me here, in life. I don’t know for what. [Nana: For me!] Must be for something else.

#5IMAG001W.1 Photography Beyond The Frame #documentary

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kickoffme-blog · 7 years ago

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The 25 Best Songs About Butts: A Ranked Guide

New Post has been published on http://www.kickoffme.com/the-25-best-songs-about-butts-a-ranked-guide/

The 25 Best Songs About Butts: A Ranked Guide

If we’ve learned one thing during the course of the last year or so, it’s that butts are back—and with them the resurrection of a the booty song. While some critics have commented that a healthy backside never really went anywhere, we respectfully disagree. To wit: There once was a time when Jennifer Lopez‘s most defining feature was her shapely butt.

Throughout the late ’90s and early 2000s, Lopez was an enigma in a world of stick-skinny models and actresses, causing critics and the public alike to gawk like she was some sort of mystical creature whose derriere was a thing of wonder. But somewhere around the mid-aughts, ultra-thin became the norm in Hollywood again, and it seemed that J.Lo’s booty went the way of Juicy tracksuits. Then in 2007 a girl named Kim Kardashian appeared on the scene, and the topic of celebrity butts was once again at the forefront.

Now, a decade later, it’s at an all-time high, with everyone in Hollywood tripping over themselves to prove that they have the biggest, roundest, sexiest ass. Even J.Lo’s back on the butt train, trying semi-desperately to steal back her title, having launched a not-subtle single called “Booty,” and promoted it with—what else?—a photo of her own backside.

MORE: Kim Kardashian Responds to Fans Who Say She Shaded Beauty Blogger Jackie Aina

But there’s a long history of moneymakers being idolized in song—from Queen’s 1976 hit “Fat-Bottomed Girls” to 1992’s defining ass anthem “Baby Got Back”—so we decided to do a deep-dive into music’s vast booty-themed catalog and come up with a ranking of the 25 best songs about butts.

25. “Anaconda” Nicki Minaj

When Nicki first appeared on the music scene, her rap skills were bananas (if you haven’t heard her ferocious verse in Kanye West‘s 2010 “Monster,” seek it out, stat), but it’s safe to say that her lyrics have declined. Not that we don’t love a good lettuce reference, but “he tossed my salad so good we be calling him romaine” is maybe less than brilliant.

24. “U and Dat” E-40 Ft. T-Pain and Khandi

Most of 2006 was spend tryna to get to yooouuuuuuuuuu and that booty.

23. “Shake That” by Eminem ft. Nate Dogg

There’s the stuff that made Eminem interesting, then there’s stuff like this. It’s a forgettable party track, but it gets points for featuring the ever-smooth Dogg (RIP.)

22. “Booty” Jennifer Lopez ft. Iggy Azalea

All the ingredients for a perfect pop song: Catchy, sexy, a little desperate.

21. “Salt Shaker” Ying Yang Twins Ft. Lil John and the East Side Boyz

God bless the Dirty South.

20. “Shake Your Rump” Beastie Boyz

If anyone doubts the inventiveness of the Beastie Boyz lyrics, Google this song.

19. “2 Much Booty (In da Pants),” Soundmaster T

If you were listening to pop radio in 1994, you’ve probably still got “DANCE! Too much booty in the pants!” in your head.

18. “Tush” Ghostface Killah Ft. Missy Elliot

If it sounds familiar, it’s because it was censored and played on the radio in 2003 as “Push.” Not surprising considering its crowning lyrics include “tush, tush, tush/Wanna slide in the bush, bush, bush?/I’m on top, you like push, push, push/Keep it low like shush, shush, shush.

17. “Honky Tonk Badonkadonk” Trace Adkins

We realize this 2004 country track isn’t exactly good, per se, but we’d be remiss to not include it simply for the fact that its ringtone alone received more than 75,000 downloads and there’s a European compilation album built around various mixes of the song.

16. “Pull Over” Trina

Early-aughts rapper Trina was deemed “as nasty as Lil’ Kim used to be” when her album “Da Baddest Bitch” dropped in 2000, and this song pretty much proves it. Trina might have faded away after one album, but this jet ski-heavy video lives on.

15. “All About That Bass” Meghan Trainor

We know the retro-tinged earworm is about having a big ass, but it’s safe to say nobody knows what being all about bass really means. Let us help: “You know how the bass guitar in a song is like its ‘thickness,’ the ‘bottom’? I kind of related a body to that,” Trainor told Billboard. We assume that means the treble is a lightweight.

MORE: Definitive Proof That Jennifer Lopez Never Ages

14. “Low” Flo Rida

The song that sparked shorties everywhere to get ‘dem Apple Bottom jeans. And boots with the fur. And Reeboks with the strap.

13. “Culo” Pitbull ft. Lil John

Before Mr. Worldwide exclusively dressed like an extra from “Scarface,” he bopped around Miami in tank tops, bellowing “CULO!!!” Suffice it to say, you need not be a linguist to know what that means.

12. “Bubble Butt” Major Lazer ft. 2 Chainz, Bruno Mars, Tyga and Mystic

An all-star lineup spewing some of pop music’s most profound lyrics. Behold:

Bubble butt, bubble, bubble, bubble butt Bubble butt, bubble, bubble, bubble butt Turn around, stick it out, show the world what you got a Bubble butt, bubble, bubble, bubble butt Bubble butt, bubble, bubble, bubble butt Bubble butt, bubble, bubble, bubble butt Turn around, stick it out, show the world you got it!

11. “Big Ole Butt” LL Cool J

This story has everything: Milkshakes, the mall, shrimp and steak at Red Lobster, bamboo earrings, pipin’ hot pizza, and a hoe named Tina who has a BOB.

10. (Shake Shake Shake) Shake Your Booty” KC and the Sunshine Band

This 1976 confection was considered controversial when it came out, thanks to randy lyrics that include “shake shake shake/shake shake shake/shake your booty.” A testament to its longevity: It’s still played at every catering hall wedding, ’70s theme party, and bar mitzvah in America.

9. “My Humps” The Black-Eyed Peas

Arguably the song that put Fergie’s lovely lady lumps on the map.

8. “Back Dat Ass Up” Juvenile

His name kind of says it all, but we still dig this 1998 banger.

7. “Bonita Applebum” A Tribe Called Quest

Granted, this classic isn’t about butts, per se, but we’re giving it a spot because of its title. And because it’s awesome.

6. “Ms. Fat Booty” Mos Def

Arguably the smoothest song about butts ever written.

5. “Fat Bottomed Girls” Queen

Freddie Mercury and the gang made waves with their 1976 celebration of curves.

4. “Bootylicious” Destiny’s Child

You know the story: This song’s immense popularity causes it to be added to the Oxford English Dictionary in 2004.

3. “Rumpshaker” Wrex-n-Effects

As soon as people heard that first saxophone lick (sampled from 1972’s “Darkest Light” by Lafayette Afro Rock Band) they were hooked on 1992’s now-classic. Fun fact: The second verse was written by a young Pharrell Williams.

2. “Baby Got Back” Sir Mix-a-Lot

Oh. My. God Becky, we know this song normally ends up at number one on lists like these, and while it was groundbreaking in its own way, there’s no doubt it’s become a parody of itself, thanks to a Glee cover and an ad campaign for Charmin toilet paper that showcases an animated bear rocking out to the original song.

1. “The Thong Song” Sisqo

We herby declare this absolutely ridiculous song number one on our list, thanks to its creative use of strings (performed by violinist Bruce Dukov, believe it or not), it’s early-aughts benchmarks (Sisqo’s bleached hair, belly button tattoo, flowy all-white outfit, fingerless gloves on the beach), agile gymnastics moves, and the fact that the entire world was trumpeting “THONG-THA-THONG-THONG-THONG” with straight faces as we rung in the millennium.

Originally published January 2015. Updated June 2017.

June 29, 2017 10:38 pm (Source)

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kickoffme-blog · 7 years ago

Text

The 25 Best Songs About Butts: A Ranked Guide

New Post has been published on http://www.kickoffme.com/the-25-best-songs-about-butts-a-ranked-guide/

The 25 Best Songs About Butts: A Ranked Guide

MORE: Kim Kardashian Responds to Fans Who Say She Shaded Beauty Blogger Jackie Aina

25. “Anaconda” Nicki Minaj

24. “U and Dat” E-40 Ft. T-Pain and Khandi

Most of 2006 was spend tryna to get to yooouuuuuuuuuu and that booty.

23. “Shake That” by Eminem ft. Nate Dogg

There’s the stuff that made Eminem interesting, then there’s stuff like this. It’s a forgettable party track, but it gets points for featuring the ever-smooth Dogg (RIP.)

22. “Booty” Jennifer Lopez ft. Iggy Azalea

All the ingredients for a perfect pop song: Catchy, sexy, a little desperate.

21. “Salt Shaker” Ying Yang Twins Ft. Lil John and the East Side Boyz

God bless the Dirty South.

20. “Shake Your Rump” Beastie Boyz

If anyone doubts the inventiveness of the Beastie Boyz lyrics, Google this song.

19. “2 Much Booty (In da Pants),” Soundmaster T

If you were listening to pop radio in 1994, you’ve probably still got “DANCE! Too much booty in the pants!” in your head.

18. “Tush” Ghostface Killah Ft. Missy Elliot

17. “Honky Tonk Badonkadonk” Trace Adkins

16. “Pull Over” Trina

15. “All About That Bass” Meghan Trainor

MORE: Definitive Proof That Jennifer Lopez Never Ages

14. “Low” Flo Rida

The song that sparked shorties everywhere to get ‘dem Apple Bottom jeans. And boots with the fur. And Reeboks with the strap.

13. “Culo” Pitbull ft. Lil John

12. “Bubble Butt” Major Lazer ft. 2 Chainz, Bruno Mars, Tyga and Mystic

An all-star lineup spewing some of pop music’s most profound lyrics. Behold:

11. “Big Ole Butt” LL Cool J

This story has everything: Milkshakes, the mall, shrimp and steak at Red Lobster, bamboo earrings, pipin’ hot pizza, and a hoe named Tina who has a BOB.

10. (Shake Shake Shake) Shake Your Booty” KC and the Sunshine Band

9. “My Humps” The Black-Eyed Peas

Arguably the song that put Fergie’s lovely lady lumps on the map.

8. “Back Dat Ass Up” Juvenile

His name kind of says it all, but we still dig this 1998 banger.

7. “Bonita Applebum” A Tribe Called Quest

Granted, this classic isn’t about butts, per se, but we’re giving it a spot because of its title. And because it’s awesome.

6. “Ms. Fat Booty” Mos Def

Arguably the smoothest song about butts ever written.

5. “Fat Bottomed Girls” Queen

Freddie Mercury and the gang made waves with their 1976 celebration of curves.

4. “Bootylicious” Destiny’s Child

You know the story: This song’s immense popularity causes it to be added to the Oxford English Dictionary in 2004.

3. “Rumpshaker” Wrex-n-Effects

2. “Baby Got Back” Sir Mix-a-Lot

1. “The Thong Song” Sisqo

Originally published January 2015. Updated June 2017.

June 29, 2017 10:38 pm (Source)

0 notes