#god I wanna see a fight scene with Vox so bad

[smthaboutuss]

Can TVs bleed?

[mrcarmenile]

okay HI

MY THOUGHTS ON THE FINALE!!

HAZBIN HOTEL FINALE SPOILERS BELOW THE CUT

holy fucking god do i have words to say

here’s some INCREDIBLY unorganized thoughts:

alastor losing his filter temporarily made my heart DROP dude. also is it just me or did he lose his accent too? like it just kind of sounded like amir to me lmao

angel with his “charlie said to live tonight however we wanted” JUMPSCARED ME and then when he said “so pour me a fresh one” i was like Oh

adam said some real knee slappers this episode i was laughing so hard. “SUCK MY HOLY LIGHT FUCKERS” “chill lute. fuck” “wow i didn’t see this giant fucking shield in front of me YOU DUMB BITCH NO SHIT” are my favorites

the whole “now i’m going to fuck you” gag had me ROLLING (angel’s little 🤨 and valentino’s “well this just got interesting” got me dude)

ALSO LUCIFER FUCKED EVE????? HUH?????

vox screaming at the tv also had me choking from laughter, especially the “NOOO FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU!! PUSSY!!!” (that is absolutely me yelling at the tv ur not alone vox 🙏)

the “these fucking angels won’t stop coming” “HA!” scene was weirdly cute and i love it

ALSO CAN WE TALK ABOUT EVERYONE’S OUTFITS???? CHARLIE’S DRESS WAS FUCKING ADORABLE AND VAGGIE’S SUIT THING WAS BADASS AND ANGEL SERVED CUNT WITH THAT LOOK AND DON’T GET ME STARTED WITH CHERRI BOMB so many halloween costumes to choose from man

also lucifer’s hot

alastor and niffty was the cutest thing i love them so much why are they wholesome ☹️☹️ “i dub thee - king roach!!” and the little crown 🥺

LMAO THE SIR PENTIOUS AND CHERRI BOMB KISS WAS EPIC AND COMEDIC AS FUCK (“that was kinda hot..” had me rolling)

the last song nearly had me crying like i SCREECHED when lucifer started singing to the tune of happy day in hell and the fucking vox and val duet???? and velvette filming them dancing??? the vees are terrible fucking people why was that scene wholesome LET ME HATE THEM STOP GIVING VILLAINS DEPTH AND EMOTIONS AND REAL BONDS PLEASEEEE (/nsrs obviously well written villains are peak but I WANNA HATE THEM SO BAD) also alastor’s part gave me fr chills like. “great alastor, altruist, died for his friends” THE WAY AMIR TALAI SANG THAT LIKE HE WAS ON THE VERGE OF SNAPPING. ROUND OF FUCKING APPLAUSE. and the new hotel looks fucking fire i can’t wait to see the interior!!!

the end of the last song nearly brought me to tears it was such a perfect ending note

SPEAAAAKING OF SONGS. HOOLY SHIT. THE MORE THAN ANYTHING REPRISE??? shit made me shed a tear like. AND THE KISS???? finally we get the goddamn lesbians god bless 🙏🙏🙏

also can i just say vox and val making out with tongue at the end for 0.5 seconds SENT ME. i was caught so off guard that i laughed until i choked dude like that shit fr got me

“how’s mercy taste ya little bitch” is officially one of my favorite hazbin quotes cuz the way jeremy jordan said it was fucking hilarious

oh and the battle scenes were fucking crazy i can see where half the budget went lmfao the fight scenes ATE

also wtf lilith was in heaven this whole time? just chilling? idk what to think or say about thing honestly

and if lucifer fucked eve is she in hell too???? is SHE the one who has alastor on a leash?? what is her relation to lilith??? are they working together or are they enemies or is eve pretending to be lilith or do they have nothing to do with each other??? why did lilith leave hell??? why did they let her leave hell??? what did lute mean by “your deal is done”???? i need answers bro

ALSO I WONDER WHERE EVERYTHING’S GONNA GO NOW THAT PENTIOUS PROVED SOULS CAN BE REDEEMED. now that they’ve proved it is the main plot going to be actually redeeming people? or is heaven gonna hide it from them??? can angel dust be redeemed when valentino owns his soul??? does angel dust truly WANT to be redeemed? once they know that you have to die to be redeemed are they gonna be able to take that risk?? now that i think of it wtf will be the main focus of season 2?? we know the vees play a big role so maybe they’ll try to prevent souls from leaving (maybe valentino will make it really hard for angel to leave and that’ll be a big part?) idk i got a lot of questions man

and it seems like they’re setting alastor up to be the main villain at the end. it seems although his mysterious deal isn’t allowing him to unleash his full power, so when he’s free of the deal i can only imagine how feral he could go. (my guess is that he uses the favor charlie promised to help release him from the deal and then charlie regrets it later when he goes crazy)

anyways all in all the finale is crazy good and i will NOT be getting over it any time soon and i am not ready to wait another few years 🥲

[ckret2]

I'm probably a little bit late for the hype, but for your radiosnake fic, was sir pentious being behind on current technology because he was just really heartbroken or bc he was somehow cursed? Sorry, sometimes i'm bad at understanding, so i wasn't sure if the karma bit meant that there really was some kind of supernatural intervention or not

It is never, ever too late to talk to me about one of my fics! People talk to me about stuff I was writing over a decade ago and I love it, you're good.

It's neither one, actually. He isn't too heartbroken to keep up, and he isn't cursed. He just lost so many resources that he can't keep up with new technological developments any more.

Long explanation below the cut!!

... god I think tumblr just, fucking deleted the cut. If there isn't a cut below this line I APOLOGIZE I tried to edit it back in, tumblr sucks.

Like, say in '64 someone comes into hell with knowledge of how to make a new weapon that's gonna change the game. Sir P's got a web of like a hundred informants who know they're gonna be rewarded when he has power, so he finds out about the weapon in three days and can snatch up the soul that knows how to make it in under a week. He's got a dozen mines from which he can extract the raw materials needed to make the weapon, so that takes a week; dozens of engineers working under him to figure out how to replicate the weapon based on the newly dead dude's half-remembered math, so that takes a week; and Sir Pent himself, the mastermind of this operation, has no more pressing needs to attend to--his airships are defending his turf without any need to call him in for help, he doesn't have to worry about collecting supplies because they have control of all the materials they need, nothing's disrupting their supply train in the sky, etc--so he can turn his whole attention to improving on this weapon, and he's done so in a week. So only a month has passed between this weapon entering hell and Sir Pent becoming not only the only person that has it, but the only person with the next generation version of it.

Compare: a new weapon enters hell in '76. After getting his ass stomped by the Radio Demon a decade ago, Sir P's lost most of his allies because they no longer have faith he can conquer hell (and even if they do, they don't want to risk getting on the Radio Demon's bad side—they don't know why he attacked Sir P, how do they know he won't attack his allies?) so he's got like, five informants. It takes him a month to find out about this weapon. If another overlord finds out about the weapon first and snatched up the weapon-maker, then Sir P has lost all opportunity to replicate it until the other overlord has made and started using it and he can get his hands on a copy to reverse-engineer, by which point this weapon's probably already on the way to being obsolete.

But say he DOES somehow get to this soul before anyone else: he's got like, maybe one or two mines under his control, so it takes a lot longer to extract the necessary raw materials, and that's assuming those mines have the materials this weapon needs. He might need to attack other factories or warehouses to steal the supplies he needs—and these factories & warehouses are probably being guarded by people armed with weapons he hasn't had a chance to replicate because a different overlord snatched up the weapon-maker before he ever heard about them, so they might overpower him, might even take out one of his airships. But say his raids succeed; they could take a couple of months, between planning and carefully executing the needed attacks.

It could take a couple more months for his heavily reduced number of engineers to figure out how to replicate the weapon, especially if it's outside their fields of expertise and he needs to find and recruit someone new to help—and what if he can't recruit anyone, because Sir P is no longer a top overlord that people will want to work for?

Meanwhile, Sir P is busy viciously defending his now very small turf with only a couple of airships at his disposal, AND he's got to plan and lead the raids for supplies, AND he's got to find and recruit new followers, AND he's got to organize repairs and do damage control if another overlord takes an airship out... so it might take him ANOTHER month to get around to looking at the designs himself and seeing if he can improve them. And maybe he's so stressed and overworked and tired he can't think of a way to improve the weapon.

So six months have passed and they have a rushed weapon that they might have had to make with shoddy stolen materials... and in that time, maybe someone with a weapon designed to overpower this one has died, and Vox has already snatched them up and made that weapon in a month, and so Sir P's new weapon is worthless before he uses it. Now he's six months behind.

Except he's not JUST six months behind. All his airships—which are his main bases, his main weapons, his main defenses, and his main transportation all in one—got blown up in '66, so he probably spent all of '66 and probably the next few years airshipless while he tried to rebuild them. Except while he tried to rebuild them, other overlords were stealing his turf because he had no airships to defend it—if he hears a facility of his is being attacked fifty miles away, he's powerless to go defend it. He's got no airships he can send to fight off the attackers. He's got no choice but to lose it. And that happened over and over, and he lost the very facilities he needed to rebuild his airships. So now it's gonna take twice as long to build half as many airships. And during all those YEARS he's trying to rebuild his airships, he's NOT going to be able to expend resources on keeping up with the latest weapons tech.

So in '76, he's not actually struggling to snatch up the newest weapon maker; in '76, he's finally built five airships, and they're all running on '66 technology. How is he going to even BEGIN replicating '76 technology if he completely missed out on learning about the '70 technology it's based on? By the time he's learned about '70 technology and is ready to face '76 technology, it's now '78.

Oh except another overlord who knows he's currently weak and fears what a threat he'll pose when he's strong again goes and crushes all his airships and now he falls behind five years again as he rebuilds AGAIN. And at this point Sir Pent is getting desperate, so he starts making stupid rushed mistakes in a scramble to gain some ground. (Stupid rushed mistakes like charging into Cherri Bomb's turf right after an extermination, or stupid rushed mistakes like aiming a giant cannon at Alastor just because he happens to be there.) And those stupid mistakes lose him more airships and set him back AGAIN.

It's an endless cycle. He lacks the resources to catch up with the latest developments; without the latest developments, he can't get the resources he needs.

History lesson! The fact that Sir Pent was a top overlord for so long was part luck and part momentum. When he died in 1888, he was THE first supervillain. In life he had no peers, and in death he had no peers. He was THE ONLY ONE who knew how to make the weapons of mass destruction he made. He was the ONLY human soul that could make a machine that could slaughter hundreds. The only ones stronger than him were fallen angels and proper demons (not souls who had died, but entities like Lucifer or Stolas) who had proper borderline-godly powers.

In 1933, the Radio Demon took out the power of a vast majority of those proper demons, and that's what buoyed Sir Pent up to being in a position where he could start conquering hell properly. Again, in '33, he was THE ONLY human soul who could do that. (Except, perhaps, Alastor himself, but he has no interest in claiming turf.) Other human souls began gaining power the way he had—both in the living world and in hell, there were people specifically following his example as a supervillain—but he was doing it first, and he was doing it with a lifetime (and afterlifetime) of experience. By the 60s, there were other human overlords around who'd gained some experience and were now just as good at him... but they didn't have his resources. He had a head start on them of decades. So all of them were the ones taking six months to make a weapon because he held all the supplies and personnel they needed to make the weapons. That's the primary reason he was ahead of them. Yeah, he's brilliant... but his overlord opponents are all brilliant too in different ways. The difference was, he's brilliant AND he had ten factories already.

(And it's worth remembering that he also had the Radio Demon, who's basically a walking tornado, on his side for fifteen years; so every once in a while one of Sir Pent's enemies would just have an entire facility mutilated by this dude. Not only is that a powerful weapon to be wielding, but who's gonna wanna go work for one of the guys that might be targeted by the Radio Demon?)

So! That's why Sir Pent fell behind and stayed behind. No heartbreak, and no curse. Just mathematics. Just resources. He stayed ahead because he came into hell with more resources than anyone else and stayed behind after Alastor reduced him to less resources than everyone else.

As for the "karma" section in the fic—not one single word of that scene reflects what's happening in hell in the slightest. Every single word of that scene reflects what's happening in Alastor's head. Fifty years after screwing over Sir P, he feels so miserable that he feels like he's being specifically punished. After seeing how massive and unintended the consequences of his actions are, he feels like he must be some kind of walking curse designed to torture Sir Pent.

On the one hand, seeing everything that's happened to himself and Sir P in the last fifty years and describing it as "karmic punishment/our assigned tortures in hell" is a reflection of how cataclysmically sublimely unhappy they both are. He's like, I'm so damn miserable it's GOTTA be divine punishment because nothing else could be this awful. On the other hand, it lets Alastor push some of the blame off of himself (because this REALLY IS all his fault!) and onto fate instead, like, oh, I couldn't have avoided this, it's our divine punishment. And if it's divine punishment, then there's nothing he can do to change it, is there? There's no point in trying. There's no need for him to say "I'm sorry" and try to make up for his mistakes. Because they aren't really his mistakes. He's just acting out some sort of karmic role. Right?

(And remember that a chapter earlier he was waxing poetic about how hell's not actually a bad place, really, he and Sir Pent deserve to be in hell together because it's the place they'll be happiest. :) :) :) Like, that's a direct contradiction to his "karma" theory. In both cases, neither scene is saying true things about the nature of hell—it's just Alastor's speculation based on how he currently feels.)

The logic fueling his "Sir Pent and I are each other's assigned punishments and there's nothing I can do about that but grin and bear it" is the same logic fueling his "dead sinners can't be redeemed, they had their chance in life and wasted it, now they're in hell forever" to Charlie in the pilot. The message behind both is the same: we can't and shouldn't be forgiven for our past mistakes; why bother trying to make up for them?