#god I have a feeling that Craig’s gonna jump into trouble

[yttmnm5]

I’m BAAAAAACK! And this time, I’ve delivered in a case of the sillies!!!

[catb-fics]

Vampire Van fic as requested! Not actually thought out a storyline past this chapter yet so if anyone’s got any thoughts/suggestions let me know... Special thanks to @fuellingmyfix for the vanpire pics 😘 

Happy Halloween everyone!  🧛‍♂️ 🎃 👻 💀

Love Bites (Van McCann) Part 1

Warnings: none for this part... / Word Count: 2.5k

You appraise your reflection in the full-length mirror, turning this way and that. You're wearing a figure-hugging black dress in the softest satin material with a plunging neckline. It trails on the floor and has a deep slit right up to mid-thigh.

"I don't know, do you think it looks too slutty?"

Your best friend Emma shakes her head emphatically. "Y/N... Halloween is the only night of the year that you can actually get away with dressing slutty and no one cares!"

"So it does look slutty?" You say, adjusting your cleavage, wondering whether the push-up bra you've put on was a step too far.

Emma giggles, linking her arm through yours and steering you in the direction of the door. "Honey... if you've got it, flaunt it! That's what I say!"

The Halloween party you're both attending is in the more affluent area of town and you take in the huge, sprawling, four-storey house as you walk down the driveway.

"Who is this guy again?" You ask your friend, feeling a little wary.

Emma waves a hand dismissively. "Oh, he's just a friend of a friend. I don't actually know him personally. Apparently he's just moved here a few months ago. And his parties have a reputation for being amazing."

The house looks every part the perfect setting for a Halloween soirée, it's dark and shadowy, and there's a distinct sense of foreboding that lingers as you reach the front door. Emma grabs the ornate door knocker and you listen as the sound echoes as it strikes the heavy wooden door. Long minutes seem to pass and you're just about to suggest that you walk away when the door starts to open with a creepy creaking noise. To your surprise there's no one standing there and you peer inside into the deep shadows.

"Hello?" You utter uncertainly.

Silence.

"Maybe we should go..." you start, but Emma takes your hand and pulls you inside.

"Come on Y/N," she urges.

"But it doesn't even seem like there's a party here. It's so quiet. Maybe it's the wrong house."

"No, it's definitely the right place," Emma says and you both step forward.

Without warning the door slams shut behind you both, and the noise is so loud you practically jump out of your skin.

"Fuck!" You cry out, your heart racing, both turning around in shock.

"It was probably just the wind," Emma says, but her voice doesn't sound so sure.

You're feeling decidedly uneasy now. The house is even creepier inside than it looks from the outside, it's bathed in shadows and it's eerily quiet. There's a huge grand staircase running up from the ground floor and an elaborate chandelier hanging from the ceiling which gives off a muted glow. The only sound is the loud ticking noise coming from the tall grandfather clock standing against the far wall.

"This place is giving me the creeps. I think we should just go," you say. It's not cold, but you can feel goosebumps breaking out all over your body.

"Ladies!" A deep voice sounds from behind you and you both whirl around.

"Christ! Where did you come from?" Emma exclaims, addressing the tall figure who seems to have literally materialised from nowhere.

"Did I frighten you?"

You go to speak but the words catch in your throat as you take in the man standing in front of you. He's tall and slim with hair that falls long around his ears and curls at the collar of the black shirt he's wearing. His skin's as pale as porcelain and his lips are full and pink. His eyes are ice cold blue but somehow there's fire in them too. They're mesmerising and you can feel yourself being drawn in.

"You about gave me a fucking heart attack!" Emma blurts out loudly and this breaks the apparent trance you've been in. You glance down, embarrassed that you've been so obviously staring.

"I do apologise," the man addresses Emma, but his eyes are firmly fixed on you. You can feel a slight flush rising to your cheeks. He's bloody gorgeous.

"I'm Van," he says and he reaches out a hand.

Emma introduces herself and you watch as he takes her hand and plants a kiss on the back of it. Despite him greeting your friend he doesn't take his eyes off you and you feel self-conscious under his alluring gaze.

"Hi... I'm Y/N," you say, and Van reaches for your hand, bringing it to his lips and kissing it.

His lips are cool but you feel like a spark of electricity emanates from them as they connect with your skin. You can't help the sharp intake of breath you make and you know Van's heard it by the way his lips pull into a small smile.

"Welcome to my home, come on... the party's this way," he says, and you feel a sense of relief as he turns away and you're released from his gaze.

You glance at Emma whose eyes are wide and she's wearing the biggest smile. She nudges you excitedly and you can't help but grin back at her. You both follow Van down a long, dark hallway and your ears begin to pick up the sounds of music as you near your destination. There's a huge wooden door at the end of the corridor and Van stops there before flinging it open and beckoning you both inside.

The room is huge and it's filled with party-goers standing and sitting around, chatting and drinking. You feel a little bit of the tension start to leave your body as you take in the scene, it looks like any other regular party you might attend... apart from the luxurious setting of course.

Van offers to get you both a drink and you gratefully accept, then he turns to walk away and you watch him go. He moves so gracefully it's almost like he's floating on air.

"Oh my god look at this place!" Emma's practically squealing beside you. "Van must be loaded!"

"Yeah," you breathe as you look around in wonder. The room is tastefully furnished and everything looks antique.

"And he's so into you!" Emma nudges you again.

You feel a little fizz of excitement in the pit of your belly at her comment, but you hardly dare to believe it.

"I doubt it," you say, modest as ever, but Emma's not hearing any of it.

"Y/N! He couldn't take his eyes off you! I swear it looked like he wanted to rip that dress off you and fuck you right there in the hallway!"

"Oh my god Emma!" You cry, your cheeks going crimson at the thought. "Shhh... he's coming back over!"

Van passes you and Emma a tall glass of something sparkling, and his fingertips lightly brush yours. Now he's back you can feel yourself tense again. Your mind scrambles for something charismatic to say but all you can manage is, "Great party! This is a lovely place you've got."

You cringe inwardly, thinking how dull you must sound, but the looks Van's giving you suggest he's thinking anything but. You start to wonder whether maybe Emma is right.

"You know, I think it's the people not the place that make a good party, don't you?" He says, then he adds. "And this party just got infinitely more interesting..."

Oh my god, he's a charmer that's for sure. Emma is looking at you with the same wide-eyed stare she had earlier and to your surprise she suddenly steps forward, glancing around like she's looking for someone.

"Y/N, I've just seen one of my brother's mates, Craig. You know the one, always stoned, got in trouble for selling gear to those school-kids last year. I'm just gonna go and say hi. You stay and chat to Van for a bit..."

"Emma..." you call after her but it's too late. She's already backing away, a gleeful kind of look on her face at the prospect of leaving you alone with Van, and his amused expression suggests that it’s clear that he knows exactly what's going on.

"So... looks like it's just me and you then Y/N," he says, leaning into you slightly.

You're suddenly gripped with awkwardness. "Oh, don't feel like you've got to stay with me, I'm okay. You're the host of the party and all... I'll be fine on my own..."

You smile at Van, raising your glass in a kind of friendly gesture, expecting him to politely back off, but he just stands there looking at you.

"Are you trying to get rid of me?"

"Oh... I didn't mean that... I just... I don't know..." You stumble over your words, trailing off, embarrassed that he's having such an effect on you.

He laughs, a low throaty chuckle. "I'm only teasing. Come on, come and sit with me." 

He steps away, beckoning you to follow him and you do. He leads you over to the far corner of the room, and sits down on a chaise-longue covered in deep red velvet, patting the space next to him. You take a seat, and your dress falls open as you do, revealing your legs right up to the tops of your thighs.

"Oops!" You giggle, immediately shooting out a hand to cover yourself.

Van's eyes rake down your body and he takes his time, not even trying to be discreet about it. It occurs to you that you'd be offended if any other guy so brazenly checked you out, but you actually want Van to desire you. You take a deep breath, letting go of the material, letting the satin slide off your legs, exposing them again. Van shifts in his seat, pressing his thigh right up to yours.

"Mmm... that's a pretty dress." His voice is smooth. "But you do realise that this is a costume party don't you?"

"Yeah, I don't wear this kinda thing all the time you know! I'm supposed to be a vampire... Dracula's bride or something."

Van's smile widens. "Oh? Well I don't see any fangs."

"I couldn't get them to stick, useless things," you giggle. "And anyway, what about you? You're not dressed up."

"Maybe I'm a vampire too..." His grin is cheeky now, and you start to feel yourself relax a little.

"Well... where's your fangs then?"

He pauses, then leans closer. "Close your eyes..." he whispers mysteriously.

You giggle, doing as you're asked, putting your hands over your eyes, waiting.

"You can look now..."

Woah! As you open your eyes you note two perfectly pointed white fangs between his slightly parted lips and you watch as he slowly runs his tongue over them. For some reason the action seems blatantly seductive, and you can feel your whole body flood with heat.

"Oh... errr... they look so realistic!" You stammer, pulse racing as his eyes seem to shimmer with some sort of hypnotic quality which you find you can't look away from.

"Mmm... they're sharp too... come a little closer...”

All of a sudden he's leaning in so close you're forced to lean back, and you feel one of his hands flush against your back and the other around your waist as he brings his body close to yours. His face is so close to your neck you swear you can feel his lips brush against your skin. You gasp at the sensation, completely caught off guard.

Just as suddenly he rights himself, but his hands remain still splayed on your waist, his eyes burning with a look that sends shivers right through you.

"What is that fragrance you're wearing?" He says, his voice a deep whisper. "It's... intoxicating..."

You've literally just met this guy and he's pressing himself against you with the familiarity of a lover. You shift to the side, feeling shook, and he releases you, although he keeps his eyes trained on yours.

"Umm... it's Chanel..." you mumble shyly, looking down at your feet.

You spot the glass of champagne that you'd placed on the floor, stooping to pick it up as a distraction, but in your flustered state you manage to catch the glass with your foot. The glass tips to the side, instantly shattering into what looks a million pieces, the contents flowing out all over the floor.

"Oh god, I'm so sorry!" You exclaim, and you immediately rise up out of your seat and then drop to your knees to clear up the mess.

"Leave it Y/N, it's fine," you hear Van say, but you're so embarrassed about the mess you've created that you keep your head down, attempting to scoop up the broken glass.

"Ow! Shit!" A jagged piece of glass catches your finger, creating a deep gash which instantly fills with blood and you curse out loud.

But that's not the worst thing. As you glance up at Van he's staring at you with eyes as cold as shards of ice, his lips pulled back into what could almost be described as a snarl. You feel genuine fear flash through you for a second, scrambling to your feet and stepping back. Van advances on you, shooting out a hand to grasp the wrist of your injured hand.

"I’m sorry... I'm so sorry," you repeat, trying to pull your arm away but his grip is vice-like.

"You should go!" He snaps, his voice sharp with not a hint of the charm he's been displaying all evening. He releases your wrist suddenly, pushing with force, making you stumble backwards.

You start to panic, desperately glancing around to find Emma. Your altercation with Van has raised some attention and the loud background chatter has started to tail off, and you see her rushing over looking concerned.

"What's up Y/N?"

You don't have chance to answer. Van's voice booms out suddenly. "Get out!" He commands.

The DJ stops the music, and the whole room suddenly falls silent. You're frozen in shock for a moment, until you feel Emma's hand wrap around yours, and she's pulling you towards the door. You drop your head in shame and confusion as you both exit, rushing down the corridor you were lead down earlier, not stopping until you've pushed the front door open and you're out in the cool night air.

"What the fuck was that?" Emma starts exclaiming instantly.

You just shake your head, feeling so unsettled by the whole experience that you can actually feel tears pricking at the corners of your eyes. "I... I don't know... we were getting on so well... and then I went and smashed a glass..."

You lift your cut hand up, and the blood is flowing out the gash now and dripping on to the floor. Some has splashed on to your bare legs.

"What the hell?" Emma cries, rushing forward and grabbing your injured hand for closer inspection. "You did this and he's kicking up a fuss about a broken glass?"

"I know! I don't get it!" You sob. "Maybe it was like antique crystal or something..."

Emma looks incredulous. "Don't make excuses! He completely overreacted. Come on, Y/N... let's get you home so we can look at that cut."

You nod, blinking back the tears, glancing back at the house as you make your way back up the the long, winding driveway. You think you see a shadowy reflection at one of the upper windows but when you blink it's gone.

Read Part 2 now...

[annzy-bananzys-corner]

Truth or Dare: Coming Out Edition (Chapter 5: Time to Come Out)

Read on AO3 | Donate to my Ko-Fi if you like | Ch 1, Ch 2, Ch 3, Ch 4, Ch 5, Ch 6

A South Park Fanfiction ft. Creek, Style, and Bunny

Current time.

Tweek took a deep breath, stopping just before the room with all the beds. He had a little trouble finding Stan in Token’s giant house at first, but all he had to do was follow the sound of someone crying.

Swallowing nervously, Tweek pushed the door open, stepping quietly in and closing the door behind him. “Stan?”

The crying went quiet for a moment, replaced by sniffling. “... Tweek?”

“Yeah, it’s me, man.” He walked further in. Stan wasn’t in sight, but he quickly found him behind the third bed on the left, sitting with his back against the wall and his legs pulled up to his chest. “Can we talk?”

Stan exhaled quickly, shaking his head and closing his eyes in disbelief. “About what? I already embarrassed myself.”

“Well,�� Tweek sat down across from him, his legs crossed as he stared at the floor. He chewed at his lip as he tried to think of what to say. God, he’d had this plan in his head, but of course it decided to leave his brain when he actually got there. “Look, I’m not going to pretend I know everything you’re going through right now. I never had to worry about “coming out” - hell everyone else knew I was gay before I did!”

Stan actually laughed a little at that, rubbing at his eyes with a sigh. “Yeah, that’s true.”

Tweek smiled a little, rubbing at the back of his neck as he continued. “So, yeah, I don’t know what that’s like. But I do know fear .” He looked up at Stan, glad to see he had his attention. “I’ve been afraid of everything my whole life, man. And it fucking sucks. You lie awake at night, thinking of everything that terrifies you, and it squeezes your chest like it wants to break your ribs and pierce your organs!” Tweek stopped and took a breath, since his own chest was starting to feel tight. “And... it feels like there’s no way out. Like everything’s out to get you.”

Stan curled up a bit more, sniffling as he looked at the floor between them. “That’s exactly what it’s like.”

“I know,” Tweek scooted closer, placing a sympathetic hand on his shoulder. “But it doesn’t have to be like that forever.” He took his hand away, giving a small smile. “This goes without saying, but I’ve improved a lot since me and Craig got together. I feel more in control, I only have panic attacks like, four times a year now. Sure, sometimes my fears still get the better of me, but I’m happier.”

“That’s great, man.” Stan smiled, wiping away the last of his stray tears.

“It is.” Tweek agreed, his smile going away as he added, “but Craig can’t take all the credit - I had to decide that enough was enough. I had to decide that I was tired of being afraid all the time, and you know the scariest thing of all?”

“What?” Stan asked, completely entranced.  

“I had to accept that I needed help,” Tweek finished. He looked down, recounting, “I had to learn how to trust other people to help me. I had to open up, even if I was terrified while I did. No one else could make me do that, I had to do that.” He looked back up, staring right into Stan’s wet eyes. “Just like you have to if you want to get over this.”

Stan took a deep breath, his eyes turning glassy as he stared into space. Tweek… he knew what he was talking about. And Stan was tired; he was tired of being afraid. Afraid of judging peers, of his own feelings, of change. He’d wanted to talk with someone about all of this for so long now, but his fear always made him shut up. “How did you… make yourself talk, even though you were scared?”

“Honestly, it took a few tries.” Tweek laughed a little, shaking his head. “And you don’t have to talk about everything right away. It… it helps if you have someone patient to talk to. Like a psychologist.”

“I can’t do that.” Stan felt his familiar fear seeping into his bones. “I’m not ready for… that.”

“It’s really not that bad,” Tweek tried to convince him. “It was scary the first few times, but… I’m glad I went to a real counselor.”

“I can’t.” Stan swallowed, squeezing his eyes shut. “I’d have to tell my parents, and my dad would be a fucking asshole about it.”

“Right, right…” Tweek sighed. “Sorry, I forgot.”

“It’s okay.” Stan took a breath, looking up at the tired blonde. Someone patient to talk to… or, maybe several people? Kenny was always willing to listen, and Butters was always full of sympathy and random bits of wisdom. And Kyle… he could be harsh, but he’d always tell him what he truly thought. About anything, even difficult things. “Tweek… thank you.” He let go of his legs, letting them lay flat on the ground as he wiped at his eyes again. “I think I know what I want to do now.”

“Yeah?” Tweek smiled, moving to stand up. “That’s great, man.”

Stan smiled a little, using the bed to help him stand. “I… I want to tell Kyle everything. Even if it scares me.”

“Everything?” Tweek’s eyes widened in surprise.

“Yes.” Stan looked up at him. For the first time in a long time, he felt sure about something. “It’s like you said - I’m so tired of being afraid. And Kyle… he’s at the center of it.”

“Geez.” Tweek rubbed at his forearm. “That sucks.”

Stan snorted. “Tell me about it. Ugh,” he rubbed a hand down his face. “Now I have to face everyone…”

“I’ll help,” Tweek offered. “Or try to, anyway. Clyde can be a handful.”

“They’re all a handful,” Stan scoffed, heading towards the door. “But really, what am I afraid of? I already outed myself to everyone. Might as well embrace it.”

~~~~~

“Do you think Stan hates me now!?” Butters blubbered, clinging desperately to Kenny’s shirt as the boy rubbed his back comfortingly. “Oh, of course he does! I can’t believe I just blurted that out!”

“I can’t believe you two kissed at all,” Kenny grumbled. The other guys were busy playing Super Smash Brothers, but he could feel Kyle and Timmy’s eyes on him. “Look, Buttercup, Stan’s going through a lot right now. I don’t know what he’s thinking, but I’m sure he doesn’t hate you.”

Butters sniffled more and buried his face against Kenny’s shoulder. “You’re, you’re right… I’ll just apologize, and… and…!”

“And?” Kenny prompted with a whisper.

Butters swallowed, mumbling so quietly that Kenny could barely hear, “I’ll come out, too.”

Kenny’s eyes widened. He glanced over at Kyle, who quickly glanced away. “Butters, are… you sure? Your parents -”

“Aw, these guys won’t tell anyone, right?”

“Have you met Clyde?”

“Well, I don’t care anymore!” More tears started streaming down Butters’ face. “I’m so tired of, of hiding my feelings!”

“Shh,” Kenny tried soothing him, stroking his hair back and easing his head back onto his shoulder. “Okay, okay… If you really want to, of course I’m fine with it.”

Butters sniffled, smiling softly against him. “Thanks, Ken.”

Kenny smiled softly back at him before looking at the TV. He couldn’t believe all of the drama happening around him. Part of him was a little miffed that Stan had went to Butters to experiment with instead of him, and another part of him was more miffed that Butters had never told him about it. Wasn’t he supposed to be terrible at keeping secrets?? Ugh, he should calm down - Stan was going to come back eventually, and who knows what kind of state he’ll be in. He’d just forget about it. He’d already known Butters had kissed before - he’d had girlfriends in the past. He’d just… thought he had been his first male kiss, that’s all.

“Ken?” Butters whispered, looking up at him with those shiny eyes of his. “You’re not mad at me, are you?”

Kenny sighed, glancing away. “What would I have to be mad at you for?”

“You know.” Butters swallowed, burying his face against Kenny’s chest. “Kissing Stan?”

Kenny chewed at his bottom lip, helpless at resisting the urge to run his fingers through that blonde tuft of hair. It was so soft, just like the boy in his lap. “No, no. I mean, unless we were dating when you kissed him.”

“No!” Butters lifted his head, staring at Ken with fresh tears in the corners of his eyes. “I would never! We kissed last year - I was trying to help him out, like you always help people out!”

“Shh, shh,” Kenny put a finger to his lips, smiling softly at him. “It was a joke. I know you’d never do something like that.”

Butters sighed in relief, rubbing at his eyes again. “Ugh. I’m gonna get dehydrated.”

“I could make you wet again~”

“Kenny!!” Butters pushed at his face, but an amused smile was worming its way onto his lips. “That’s not funny.”

“Then why are you smiling~?”

“Because you’re ridiculous!” Butters laughed, shaking his head. He leaned in for a quick kiss, but before he could he heard two sets of footsteps approaching the room. He turned to look, gasping as he saw Stan and Tweek returning.

“Hey, guys.”

The game was immediately paused as everyone turned to look at the room’s entrance. Tweek was giving a nervous smile and playing with his fingers, while Stan had a hand clasped to his opposite forearm, avoiding looking at anyone.

“Stan,” Kyle spoke up first, getting to his feet and heading over. “Dude, are you okay?”

“Yeah.” Stan nodded, looking over at Tweek with a small smile. “I’m feeling better.” He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath before looking at everyone else. “I’m sorry I’ve been weird all night, guys. But, you know, I guess it’s time I just… say it.” He closed his eyes, taking a few breaths. He felt as if his heart was stopping. Was he really going through with this? This was insane, wasn’t it? Was he even completely sure -

He jumped a little as he felt someone take his hand. He looked over, surprised that Tweek had taken his hand and squeezed it, giving him a reassuring smile. “You can do it, Stan.”

Stan smiled back, squeezing his hand before pulling away. “Thanks, Tweek.” He turned back to the room, taking another deep breath and closing his eyes. He was ready, he was ready. He wanted to do this, he needed to do this:

“I’m bi, and fuck whatever my gender is!”

He tensed up, anticipating negativity to be given back to him. But, of course, everyone present was more or less supportive.

“Woohoo!” Kenny pumped a fist in the air. “I hear that!”

“Duh.” Jimmy rolled his eyes.

“You kinda already said that earlier,” Token pointed out.

“Timmy,” he joined in on rolling his eyes at how obvious it was.

“Beautiful! Amazing!” Clyde clapped fast and quick like the excited boy he was. “Inspirational!!”

“Took ya long enough,” Craig huffed.

“Stan,” Kyle just smiled, pulling him into a hug. “That took a lot of courage. I’m proud of you.”

Tears once again started falling from his eyes. He sniffled and hugged Kyle tight, smiling wide. “Thanks, Kyle. That means a lot.” He pulled away, staring into his eyes. “And I promise to talk with you more, about… everything.”  

“Everything?” Kyle seemed confused. “Didn’t you just say everything?”

“No, not really,” Stan replied quietly, glancing away again. “Later, I promise.”

“I’m really happy for you, Stan!” Butters exclaimed, having gotten to his feet halfway through. “But I’m still really sorry for what I said earlier -”

“Yeah, that sucked,” Stan agreed, tugging Kyle over to the center of the couch. “But it’s cool now, man.”

“It’s not cool!” Butters swallowed, staring down at the ground. “So, to… to make up for it, I have an announcement!” He looked over at Kenny, who simply gave him two thumbs up and a calm smile. “I’m bi, too!” Butters exclaimed happily, placing his hands on his hips. “And Kenny and I are dating!”

“Are you fucking kidding me,” Jimmy mumbled.

“YES!” Clyde leaped to his feet, jumping up and down. “I called it! I so called it! Jimmy, you owe me twenty bucks!!”

“But Kenny’s a t-total manwhore!” Jimmy argued, crossing his arms. “I ref-fuse to believe this.”

“Hey!” Butters interrupted, scowling at them. “Kenny’s a great boyfriend!!”

“Yeah,” Kyle spoke up for his friend. “I mean, okay, when he’s not dating anyone, anything’s fair game, but when he is dating someone - he’s loyal.”

“Aww,” Kenny held his hands over his heart, positively touched. “Thanks, guys!”

Butters huffed and went back over to cuddle up to Kenny, sticking his tongue out at Jimmy.

Kenny chuckled and kissed Butters’ forehead, explaining further, “We started dating two weeks after Suzette broke up with him.”

“Kenny’s great at comforting people,” Butters complimented, smiling brightly up at him. They held gazes for a moment until Butters frowned, looking back at the others. “But you guys can’t tell anyone, all right? Oh, my parents would kill me if they knew…”

“That’s an exaggeration, right??” Tweek asked, starting to sweat nervously. “Oh, god!”

“We’re not sure.” Kenny sighed, looking down at the ground. “Just, please… don’t tell anyone.” He coughed the name “Clyde” under his breath.

“Hey!” Clyde whined. “I’m not gonna tell anybody!!”

“And if he does, I’ll beat him up,” Craig promised.

“Ditto,” Token promised.

“Timmy!” he spoke up, finishing with his monitor, “And I’ll run him over.”

“Wow, what great friends I have!” Clyde throws up his hands in exasperation.

“You l-love us,” Jimmy teased.

Clyde just continued to grumble. Until Token unpaused their video game, then he screeched and scrambled for his controller. “I wasn’t ready! No one attack me yet!!”

[marmolady]

“It’s his favourite movie...”

Book/Series: Endless Summer

Main Pairings: Estela x MC/Taylor (f)

Summary: Post-ending (Endless ending). Recalling a most intriguing creation of Rourke’s from the Endless’ memories, what kind of friend would Taylor be if she didn’t indulge Diego in some well-intentioned Freaky Friday shenanigans?

Warnings: Coarse language, sexual references. A lot of silliness. Much stupidity. 

Word Count: 5518

Tagging: @brightpinkpeppercorn @sceptilemasterr @bbaba-yagaa@edgydepressedchoicesthot @endlesssummerfan @blightarts @princessstellaris @acidsugar0 @taramitch96

“You’re telling me you’ve never seen Freaky Friday? What have you even been doing with your life?”

“Taking out fascist dictators and demanding justice for good people. What have you been doing with your life?”

Diego spluttered. It seemed someone had forgotten to put on her sense of humour when she got up in the morning.

“That’s what I thought. So, are you gonna tell me what you two are up to?” Estela looked from one suspicious face to the other. She’d caught Diego and Taylor whispering in a corner, talking about some movie and looking extremely shifty.

Taylor took out the device and handed it to her. “This thing I picked up from MASADA. It’s basically a body swap machine. It can put the mind of one person in someone else’s body.”

The grin had returned to Diego’s face, the anticipation all too much for him. “Basically, it makes for the best prank in history. We’ve just gotta pick our targets and -boom!- Freaky Friday time! And that, my friend, is how you win April Fools’ Day.”

Estela raised an eyebrow. “And you think this thing actually works? If Rourke had a weapon like that, why wouldn’t he use it?”

“What? No! It’s not a weapon! Taylor, she’s taking the fun out of it…”

Taylor shrugged. “Well, she’s got a point. In the wrong hands, this could be really dangerous. But I think Rourke made it just for fun. When I saw it used in the Endless’ memories, Aleister said it was his favourite movie.”

“I found the DVD in the VIP lounge, and it’s had some serious playback. Rourke was a psycho and all that, but even he had to nurture his inner movie nerd.”

“So, it worked in this alternate timeline you saw?”

“Yup,” Taylor nodded. “And we’re being careful. I checked with IRIS. She says it’s fully functional and ready to go. We’ve just got to test it out and get the hang of using it.”

Diego’s hand shot up in the air. “I volunteer! I volunteer as tribute!”

Estela gave him a look that dashed his hopes and dreams in a second. “Nope. I don’t trust you with my body or the body of the woman I sleep with every night. Besides… that’s my line.”

“I love you, Diego, but I don’t really wanna get stuck married to you either,” Taylor admitted.

Crestfallen, he sighed. “Well, I guess that makes sense. So, you guys are gonna…?”

Estela frowned, but nodded. “Of the possible worst-case scenarios, that would be the least screwed up.” She looked at Taylor with an expression that could only be read as, I hope you know, you owe me big for this.

“Haha! I am gonna be so hot!” Taylor laughed as she saw her wife’s cheeks go a little pink. It was all too easy, but she loved having that effect on Estela. “Come on, let’s do this thing.”

Diego took the device and began to fiddle with it. “Okay, this should be on ‘safety mode’, so you’ll be able to see that you’re in range of the machine. Just make sure you stay in the glowy area, and I’ll have you switched in no time.”

Taylor took Estela’s hand with a playful smile. “Aren’t you so glad you checked in on what shenanigans we were up to?”

“I’d rather be on the inside than one of your victims, so yeah. But tonight, we get to do something I want to do, all right?”

“Thankfully our favourite night-time activities tend to align.” Taylor gave a cheeky wink. “Better hope we don’t get stuck…”

There was a small flash.

“Did it work?” asked Diego, shaking with anticipation. There had been no need, the looks on their faces told him all he needed to know.

Taylor, or at least, a person who looked like Taylor, wore an expression that would have been appropriate should she have been clubbed over the head.

‘Estela’ burst out laughing. “What’s that face for? You look cute! This is so weird…”

Estela, who looked rather like Taylor, shook herself, trying to avoid eye contact with her partner. Being stared at by your own face was creepy as all hell. “I don’t like it.”

Diego, in contrast, was jumping up and down, clapping his hands. “Why am I not filming this? If it wasn’t for the accent, we could have seen how long we could fool everyone!”

“Uh, the accent and the fact that ‘I’ve’ suddenly acquired a resting bitch face. Besides, then the jig will be up before we can indulge in some well-placed mischief.”

“How are you not more creeped out by this?”

Taylor shrugged her shoulders… Estela’s shoulders?... whatever. “I guess I’ve already seen myself through the memories the Endless gave me. And, you know, looked at the Endless. I’m pretty unflappable with the weird and wonderful these days. But maybe we should switch back… just so we know it works. I feel like this is gonna be awkward in the bedroom if we’re stuck like this.”

Estela shuddered. “God! Please.”

Pouting, Diego fiddled with the device. “You people are no fun at all. But as unofficial sponsor of your romantic relationship, I guess I’ll zap you back.”

There was another flash. Seeing Taylor --as Taylor-- in front of her, Estela pulled her into a hug.

“Thank fuck,” she said. Releasing her wife, who was doubled over laughing, she roughly took the device out of Diego’s hands. “It’s not that I don’t trust you with this, but…”

“Welp, there goes the brightest spot in my life…”

“I’m gonna tell Varyyn you said that-“

“Wha- No! Taylor!”

“So,” Estela stashed the device in the inside of her hoodie. “What’s your plan?”

  Before sun-up on April Fools’ Day morning. A positively giddy Diego was let into Taylor and Estela’s suite.

“So, we’re 100% set on our targets?” Taylor queried.

Diego shrugged. “I’m still all for a hotel-wide complete mix-up, but I guess this is fine.”

“Right. You keep an eye on the surveillance cameras, and if you’re sure they’re both asleep, give us a call over the radio, and Estela goes in.”

“Wait- won’t their door be locked?”

“Estela has the master key. Obviously.”

Diego looked at Estela with his mouth hanging open. “When did you get that?”

“The day we arrived.” Estela shrugged nonchalantly. “It’s a lot easier to search the place when you can get into every room.”

‘It’s nice to get a little reminder to always stay a tiny bit scared of you…”

Sometime later, Taylor and Diego waited in the atrium, having overseen Estela’s successful zapping of a sleeping Craig and Zahra. Diego would be switched too, for he would have it no other way, but wanting to be surprised, he decided that the unsuspecting victim should be whichever unfortunate person wandered downstairs first. And then there was Raj, strolling down to make breakfast.

“Taylor! Kitchen- kitchen, now!” Diego spluttered, and the two of them ran to lay their trap.

While Diego stood by the stovetop, doing his best attempt at nonchalance, Taylor lurked behind the solid counter, out of view from the doorway. She waited for her target to step into the room and then, adrenaline pumping through her, she activated the device.

For a moment, Raj -in Diego’s body- blinked rapidly and swayed on the spot, his eyes on his on form which was inexplicably standing before him. Instinctively, he reached for his pocket, only to find he was wearing Diego’s pants. “Where’s my…?” he mumbled.

Diego, trying not to squeal with excitement, pulled a packet out of Raj’s pocket and handed it to ‘himself’. “Maybe you should lay off that stuff for a while…”

“Yeah… yeah, I think I’ll sleep this one off…” Staggering a little, he turned back towards the door. “Thanks, Raj!” he called to Diego.

With Raj gone, Taylor came out from behind the counter. “Huh. That was kind of a non-event,” she said. “Though, to be fair, this being a weird drug trip is more believable than ‘got zapped by a Freaky Friday machine’.”

Standing by the reflective surface of the shiny metal fridge, Diego did a twirl. “Taylor, look! I’ve been Freaky Friday-ed!”

Estela stepped into the room and scowled. “You switched with Raj? There goes breakfast…”

Diego immediately deflated. “Ah.”

“And where is he?”

“Uh… back to bed I think…” It suddenly occurred to Diego that he’d better keep an eye on where his body was actually going.

“Hey, I’ll go after him,” said Taylor quickly. “If he sees himself chasing after him, he might do a runner. You can, uh… make breakfast?”

She made a beeline for Raj’s room and hammered on the door. Furball made an appearance, watching her with curiosity. “Raj, my man, you in there? It’s Taylor- just checking in, nothing to worry about.” Crap, girl, could you sound any more suspicious?

For several more minutes she banged on the door, until she was joined by Estela.

“Estela-“ Taylor hissed. “I don’t think he’s in there! Where would he go? He can’t just disappear with Diego’s body…”

Estela’s brow furrowed. This piece of harmless mischief was turning out to be more trouble than it was worth. She made a mental note not to leave Taylor and Diego unsupervised with each other for too long in the future. “He’d just woken up, he wouldn’t have gone far.” She threw the master key to Taylor. “Check he’s not in there and just completely out of it. I’ll keep an eye out for Craig and Zahra getting up.”

Leaving Taylor to search for Raj, Estela sat down and waited. Zahra wasn’t much of a sleeper- she’d be rummaging in the kitchen seeking out coffee soon enough. Or she would have been if she were herself… in Craig’s body, she was probably blissfully unconscious. With that in mind, Craig was probably already awake, but Estela suspected he’d be slow on the uptake.

A skittering of tiny claws on tile suddenly caught her attention. Trusting her gut feeling, Estela stood up and followed the footsteps into the lobby. There was Furball, bouncing around merrily, holding in his jaws… the device.

“How did you…?” Goddammit, Diego! Having left the device with him in the kitchen, it seemed the idiot had been distracted enough by his situation to let his guard down dangerously low. Estela approached cautiously, giving a low whistle to try and entice the fox closer.

Furball eyed her suspiciously, and readjusted his hold on his exciting prize. All he knew was, this weird metal box was interesting to the humans, so it had to be something good.

Then, strolling in from the atrium came Grace, greeting the day cheerily as ever.

“Good morning!” she said brightly.

“Uh, hi,” Estela replied after a long silence, preoccupied as she was with getting at Furball, who’d turned out to be a slippery little creature. As she reached for him, he scampered underneath a table and chewed on the device with gusto. “Furball!” she hissed, crawling after him. “Drop that!”

There was a bright flash, and a loud stream of fruity language.

‘Estela’, or rather, Grace, stood up, an expression of frightened confusion on her face. “Wh-what happened?” Her eyes grew wide as they laid on… herself?

“Get hold of the fox!”

But Furball had taken off at a run. Estela took Grace’s hand and hurtled after him. In the rush, Grace tripped and fell, and in the time it took Estela to pull her to her feet, the quick fox had vanished.

Estela huffed. This was just excellent.

  Having had no luck finding Raj in his room, Taylor was on a mission. The elevator door buzzed open, and standing inside were none other than her first victims, making her all but jump out of her skin.

“Look who it is,” ‘Craig’ said, his tone uncharacteristically icy. “Our friend, Taylor.”

“Hello, you two!” Taylor cried, excessively enthusiastic. “How are you this morning? Sleep well?”

Receiving a hard nudge from ‘Craig’, ‘Zahra’ spoke. “Uh… I never sleep well,” she said. “I’ve got that… not… sleeping… thing.”

‘Craig’s’ gaze was pointedly on Taylor, searching for weakness. “Obviously, I could sleep through the apocalypse…”

“-That’s not true!-“

“But Z was awake. Noticed a disturbance. So… any reason why your wife might have been creeping around our room at four in the morning?”

Taylor contorted her face into an expression that she believed to portray sweet innocence. How successful she was could be debated.

“You must have dreamed it. She has a way of getting inside people’s heads… it might be the staring, to be honest… I should talk to her about that…”

‘Craig’s’ eyes narrowed, while ‘Zahra’ was looking over herself with an air of amusement, poking and prodding her own body with clear fascination. She was taken by surprise as ‘Craig’ smacked her over the head.

“Hey! That’s not fair; you’re bigger than me!”

Taylor couldn’t hide her smirk. “Is something the matter? You two… don’t look like you’re feeling yourselves.” Oh god, Zahra is actually gonna murder me.

“Actually-“ ‘Zahra’ began, before receiving an elbow in the ribs. “You know you’re only hurting yourself?”

“Worth it. And shut your dumbass face.”

“It’s your…”

A look was all it took to silence ‘Zahra’. ‘Craig’ cleared his throat and continued to stare Taylor down. Clearly, she was behind it, but she stood firm under what should have been a withering gaze.

To Taylor’s relief, the elevator touched down in the atrium, saving her from a glare so scorching it would have impressed Estela. And then, there she was, just outside the elevator as it opened up.

“Oh, good morning!” she said shakily, a look of nervous confusion on her face.

Immediately, ‘Craig’ surged forwards. “I don’t know what you did to us, but you’ve got an hour to fix this bullshit or…”

‘Estela’ cowered away, eyes wide with fear. “Please- I’m sorry, I don’t know what you’re talking about…”

“Oh, no, no, no, no, no…” Taylor stammered. There was no way on earth that was Estela.

After the briefest moment of realisation, Zahra and Craig roared with laughter.

“Ah, Tayls, ain’t karma a bitch?”

Taylor ignored them, focused instead on the poor imitation of her wife. “Shit…” She rubbed her forehead, thinking that she’d need a stiff drink before the day was out… and Estela would be needing an even bigger one. “…Okay… who am I talking to?”

“Grace,” came the meek reply, which was met with howls of mirth.

“Oh, Grace! I’m sorry! Wh-where’s Estela?”

“She went after Furball; he ran off with your body swap machine.”

“Wait, what?” Taylor’s eyes bulged; the device… Diego had hold of it… surely, he’d not been so careless?  “Double shit. Shit, shit, shit…”

Quick on the uptake, Zahra, who was in Craig’s body, grabbed him by the hand… her own hand?... and pulled him along after her.

“Hey- you can’t just run off!” Taylor protested, falling on conveniently deaf ears.

Zahra paused momentarily to give her a sly grin, something which looked rather bizarre on Craig’s face. “We’re going fox hunting. And just a warning, Tayls, my good friend, when I get hold of your body swap machine, you are screwed.”

As Taylor made to chase after them, raucous shouts rang out from the kitchen. “Diego!”

She turned and bolted to the sound of the kerfuffle, to find Diego-in-Raj-form cowering behind a worktop while his own likeness angrily waved a frying pan at him. Upon seeing Taylor, Raj-in-Diego-form pointed the pan accusingly at ‘himself’.

“Taylor, you’ve gotta help me… it’s an imposter! I thought it was me, that I was just tripping- I’ve seen that before. But then I smelled it- whatever that thing is burned our breakfast! That’s not me… that’s not me…”

“Raj…”

He kept on muttering to himself. “I’ve seen some weird stuff on this island, dude, but an evil-breakfast-burning twin… nah, it’s too much… too much, dude…”

“Hey! That’s not an evil twin. That’s Diego. Have you looked at yourself?”

“Die-wha?” Confused, Raj looked down, then back at Diego. “Ohhhh. Huh. That’s new.”

Diego hung his head. “Sorry about breakfast. When I Freaky Friday-ed us, I forgot that I’m like the guy in Ratatouille who can’t cook- but I don’t have a cooking genius rat to save me.”

A little stunned, Raj looked at his reflection in the door of the shiny, metallic refrigerator, watching his movements taking place in Diego’s body as a vessel, fascinated.

“Happy April Fools’ Day, Raj!” Diego cried, now confident that he wouldn’t have his friend’s lucky pan lobbed at his head. “Did we bring it, or did we bring it?”

“You most definitely brought it, my friend! Except for breakfast. That’s the saddest thing I’ve smelled in months. It’s borderline offensive, and you created it while wearing my innocent face.”

Taylor could breathe a sigh of relief. One missing person, found. If it wasn’t for the unfortunate Grace-Estela incident, the missing device, and the fact that a dangerously beefed-up Zahra was now on the warpath, she might call the ‘harmless’ prank a success.

“Right,” she said, “why don’t the two of you stay here, and fix breakfast up. I know Diego’s crap, but he doesn’t need a cooking genius rat… he has a cooking genius Raj.”

Her companions looked at her with wonderment.

“He’s not gonna sit on my head and…?”

“No, you dope. Raj is gonna follow you around offering advice and marijuana. Just… roll with it.”

Taylor left them to it, satisfied that she’d put out at least one of the fires she and Diego had unleashed. By the time she returned to the atrium, though, Zahra and Craig were long gone, and Grace was nowhere to be found either.

  Estela had tracked Furball all around the lower floor of the hotel, getting close only to have him shoot out icicles defensively the second he felt she was too close to getting hold of his new toy. Furball was quick, and Estela’s new body was unfortunately, rather a downgrade in the physical fitness department, and not nearly as agile as what she was used to. Finding herself out of breath, the little fox seemed to find it all a great game, throwing out streaks of ice as he gambolled through the Celestial. Estela was patient, though. If the fox kept that up, he’d soon become dehydrated; she’d just keep on his tail until he could no longer put up a fight. It was simple, or at least it would be if she could just be left to get the job done.

“Grace?” Aleister called from the lobby. “Are you coming for breakfast?”

Wincing, Estela cursed her own misfortune. Of all the people the damn fox could have switched her with… and, of course, Furball was trotting right towards the sound of the voice. Little shit.

Aleister’s face brightened as he laid eyes on Estela. “Ah, there you are, my dear-”

“I’m busy.”

Taken aback by her abruptness, he immediately became concerned. “Anything I can help w-“

“No.”

As Grace came into the room, it occurred to Estela that she might not appreciate outright hostility towards her lover. Her gaze pointedly averted from her brother’s simpering one, Estela at least made an effort.

“You should… go enjoy… breakfast. Sweetheart.” Feeling as though she might throw up, she turned to see a most horrifically sappy expression on her own face. She shuddered. If the experience had been creepy before, this was something else…

A hand touched her arm, and she impulsively swung a fist round, colliding with Aleister’s startled face.

“I said ‘go’!”

He ran.

“Estela, you can’t just hit him!”

“Sometimes, you’ve gotta be cruel to be kind. I think all three of us will be less traumatised by this fiasco if I can make him stay away. I do not need him trying to stick his tongue down my throat. Besides, it wasn’t as if I could hit him hard, not with these fists.”

With Aleister safely out of the way for the time being, she could resume her pursuit of Furball, now with Grace around to guard potential escape routes.

“Just make sure we don’t lose the fox, and don’t let him get near water. Sooner or later, he’ll give up, and we can fix this. In the meantime, can you please not look at Aleister like that while you’re wearing my face.”

Disturbed by his encounter with ‘his girlfriend’, Aleister wandered towards the restaurant looking appropriately punch-drunk, when he bumped into a rather frazzled Taylor.

“Sorry- could I… borrow you for just a minute?”

“Al, I’m really, really busy. Is it important?”

He scowled. “Do I make a habit of seeking help from you people? Yes, it’s important!”

Taylor raised an eyebrow.

“Sorry, sorry. It’s just… Grace. I’ve done something wrong. I can’t for the life of me think what, but she’s absolutely furious, and it’s something I’ve done. Taylor, she looked at me as if I was a leper…”

“You know, I think Grace is the sort of person who’d be kind to the sick and downtrodden…”

“You’re missing the point! Taylor, you’re skilled at handling… people problems…”

“Okay. Grace isn’t feeling herself today. It’s nothing personal-“

“She punched me in the face.”

“Uh, wrong place, wrong time.” Taylor was not fool enough not to realise that their April Fool’s prank would not appeal to Aleister’s sense of humour… certainly not once he’d been socked in the face by his supposed lover. “This isn’t a good time for her.”

A lightbulb appeared to go off in Aleister’s head. “Are you saying that this is a… er… delicate… ladies’… issue?”

Eh, that’ll do. Can’t be pinned on me, can’t be blamed on himself. “Yeah… something like that. Just give her a little space.”

“Are you sure? I always thought it was at such a time when attentiveness was…”

“Aleister! I told you, I’m busy. There are, like, five other people in this hotel who you can chat menstruation with. Find one of them- but not Grace. Leave her alone, okay? You’ll thank me for that piece of advice.”

She made a move before he could protest. Jesus Christ on a cracker… Well, at least Diego’s having fun.

Diego was, indeed, having fun. It turned out, making breakfast was a lot less stressful once you’d smoked a couple of joints. If he was to pull off a morning as Raj, he was going to do it properly. Now rather more relaxed, and finding himself singing for no apparent reason, he fried up the eggs, wild mushrooms, and giant La Huerta peccary bacon to near perfection under the guidance of his mentor. For his part, Raj was having a whale of a time now that his imposter was no longer seemingly intent on sabotaging his culinary reputation.

A voice came over the intercom… Taylor’s voice.

“We are experiencing a small crisis situation. All residents, please gather in the restaurant where breakfast will be served as normal. Please don’t freak out- all will be resolved shortly. Just… go eat breakfast.”

“Ohmygod!” Diego cried. “An emergency? We’re all gonna die! This is gonna be our least meal- I can’t handle that kind of pressure!” He took a long drag of his joint, and his expression slackened.

“Maybe this is the end…” Raj put a hand on Diego’s shoulder. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. And I say we go out in a blaze of breakfast!”

“Did you just Gandalf me?”

“I’m Diego now, of course I Gandalfed you!”

Diego put a hand over his heart, touched. “You are me! And look at this breakfast… I’m you! This is just…” he sniffed… “so beautiful…”

“Aw, dude… you’ve got so much bottled up in here. Worry, anxiety… you need to get it all out! See, this could be the therapy the world always needed. Isn’t that what Freaky Friday’s all about? Improving your relationships and becoming the best you by seeing the world through someone else’s eyes.”

“Holy epiphany Batman! You’re right!” Diego wiped a tear from his eye. “I’m gonna go out there and serve breakfast like the Raj I am.”

Raj sniffed. “I’m so proud… I love you, dude!”

“I love you too, dude!”

When Taylor returned to the kitchen, both men were lying on the floor, watching a fly buzz around above their heads, rapt.

“Er… everyone okay in here?”

“Taylor, I’m better than okay- I’m Raj…” Diego murmured. “…Look how pretty that fly is… It doesn’t have expectations to meet… It’s just doin’ its thing… like a fly… flying… bzzzzzzzzzzzz…”

“Yes. Yes, it is. All right down there, Raj?”

Raj’s eyes crossed as they tried to follow the fly as it landed on his nose. “I understand everything… we all need to escape… whether we’re getting stoned and watching pretty bugs… or getting lost in a fictional world… we’ve gotta escape, my dudes… we’ve all gotta escape…”

“…Wooooow, we really are the same… bzzzzzzzzzz….”

Something told Taylor that neither of them would be much help. “Right,” she said. “Thankfully, everyone who we haven’t brain-zapped is still in the restaurant finishing breakfast. Thank you, by the way. You two make a surprisingly effective team… or, you did… might be too far gone now. But I should be able to wrap up this fiasco with no more unintended participants being dragged in.”

  Furball ran, tripping up over the device that was fast becoming heavy in his small jaws. He skidded out to the poolside and hid in the bushes, Estela hot on his heels, Grace futilely holding out food as a bribe, and Craig following along with interest.

“He’s getting dehydrated- just don’t let him get in the pool-“

Craig’s, or rather Zahra’s eyes grew wide. “Does Furball multiply if he gets wet?”

Estela turned and gave him a look. If there had been any doubt that they’d switched, it was now gone. “Craig, can you grab hold of him? I dunno… pretend he’s a ball or something. That’s what you do, right?”

“I do. But I’m Z now. I feel like I should just stand here with a face like this…” Craig pulled the most exaggerated scowling face he could muster. He pulled out his phone. “I’ll get it all on video… look at me with your best Estela face… yep, just like that!”

Grace, at least, understood the gravity of the situation. “Please, we have to be careful… if Furball drops that in the water, we could be stuck…”

“Grace- Grace! Say ‘Aleister has a sexy ass’ for the camera…”

“No… I- Craig, please don’t antagonise her…”

“What’s she gonna do? She’s in your body. You stole her Ferrari and left her driving a Volvo. I know the feeling… now Z’s got the brawn and the brains… what does that make me…?”

Furball darted out, making a dash for the cover of a deck chair… and heading dangerously close to the water.

“Fuck,” said Estela with Grace’s voice, amusing Craig immensely.

By that point, a curious audience had gathered by the window. Seeing Grace outside, in the midst of an announced crisis, Aleister had no choice but to throw caution to the wind and bring her back to the restaurant -at least until Taylor explained what the hell was going on.

He hurriedly strode over, heading for the person who appeared to be his girlfriend... and ignoring the frantic head-shaking warning from the actual Grace.

“Grace, I…”

“Nope!” Not today, Satan. Estela had had just about enough. She shoved him with all of Grace’s might, sending him flying backwards into the pool.

Fully clothed and utterly bewildered, Aleister hit the water with a colossal splash that brought everyone who hadn’t gathered at the window rushing to watch.

“Chyeeeaaahhh boi!!! Caught! On! Film!” Craig went to high five Grace, but she was too busy rushing to the aid of the unfortunate Aleister.

In the ruckus, Furball bolted- straight into Zahra’s arms… or Craig’s, actually. Startled, the fox dropped the device, and a smug Zahra looked from one panicked face to another.

Taylor burst outside, her eyes round.

Smirking, Zahra inspected her new toy. “C’mere, Craiggers, first thing’s first.”

“Z- I got Grace on video saying ‘fuck’!”

Poor Aleister was still flailing in the water, fighting as Grace tried to pull him up, apparently convinced that ‘Estela’ was trying to drown him.

A few twiddling of buttons, and a bright flash that was visible even in the warm sunshine.

Craig reached down and touched his own chest, dropping the device into Zahra’s waiting hands. “Aw, man, I’m back… Dope trick, Taylor!”

“…Thanks, Craig…” Taylor replied nervously.

Zahra watched with satisfaction as her spectators squirmed. “Yeah… dope trick, Taylor.” She let the device fall to her feet with a metallic clunk. And then she brought her foot down on it, hard.

Grace dropped Aleister unceremoniously back into the water. Taylor gave a strangled yell as Estela looked at her with pure horror. At the window, Raj and Diego cheered… and then Diego went back to doing his fly impression.

“Zahra! Are you out of your mind?”

There was a spluttering sound as Aleister once again tried to haul himself out of the pool. “Will someone please tell me what in the name of sanity is going on?”

Her face a picture of sweet triumph, Zahra dipped her hand into Craig’s jacket pocket, and pulled out a second Freaky Friday device.

“April Fools’, bitches. I won, right?”

  The Freaky Friday Incident would no doubt go down in lore, at least if the buzz that followed was anything to go by. All who contributed to the creation of such chaos were lauded as April Fools’ heroes, and most who’d been ill-effected were now seeing the humour in the situation. Appreciating the genius of the original prank, Zahra bestowed the second device, which she’d found in Rourke’s V.I.P. room after having quizzed Iris, to a still totally stoned Diego.  Craig’s precious video of Aleister being walloped into the pool by ‘Grace’ was playing on almost constant repeat, to the victim’s increasing annoyance. From Aleister, Taylor and an oblivious Diego received a long and thorough ear-bashing.

Finally set free from a tedious and angry lecture on the dangers of such childish pranks, Taylor wandered back to the restaurant, catching the last of her friends as they dispersed. Out of the corner of her eye, she was certain she’d seen Zahra fiddling with the original, broken device while she walked out towards the pool with Craig. She shook it off. The thing was smashed up, caput. Zahra might be a genius, but that machine was beyond repair… wasn’t it?

Taylor’s brief concern was forgotten the second she laid eyes on Estela. Their spot of mischief hadn’t exactly gone to plan, but all was well that ended well.

She ran to her, a broad grin across her face, and took her in her arms with a heady kiss.

“Holy shit, Princess! The hell ya doin?”

Her blood running cold in an instant, Taylor jumped back as if zapped by a bolt of electricity, her hands flying to her face. “Jake?! Ohmygod… holy crap… hooooly crap… I didn’t… oh shit, oh shit…”

Unable to keep a straight face any longer, Estela collapsed into uncontrollable giggles.

“Estela!” Taylor repeatedly smacked her wife over the head as she cried with laughter. Slowly, her body recovered from the shock, and she almost saw the funny side. “There’s a special place in hell for people like you! I think I almost had a heart attack…”

Estela slid onto the floor, clutching her sides and clearly not remotely sorry. This, Taylor supposed, was fair payback for dragging her into the whole mess to begin with. With her heartrate recovering, she began to laugh, and took her lover in her arms.

“When did you learn to do a southern accent, anyway?”

Estela wiped her eyes, high on the simple feeling of being back to normal… and no longer having to look at herself making goo-goo eyes at Aleister. She peppered Taylor’s face with kisses. “To see that look on your face? You’d be amazed what I could do.”

Shaking her head; relieved and only a little exasperated, Taylor made a show of studying Estela’s face carefully. “You’re you?”

“I’m me. And I’m confiscating Diego’s toy and throwing it in the volcano. Never again…”

Taylor giggled and hugged her. “Do it now, while Diego’s still high as a kite.”

“Or…” Estela ran a finger slowly up her wife’s thigh. “you can start working off that debt you owe me for helping you with all this Freaky Friday nonsense. My fees are high -especially after Aleister started following me around with heart eyes. But… I figured you wouldn’t mind paying in instalments?”

“Just one thing... “

“Hmmm?”

“If you do another Jake impersonation while you’ve got your head between my legs, I swear I will divorce your ass.”

With a snort, Estela doubled over once more, before coming up to peck a kiss to Taylor’s nose. “You’ve got a deal, mi amor.”

[sun-shine-slut]

Your stupid

((Kryozgaming x reader, something simple to start off this account I guess XD this is also on my wattpad so if you see it there now you know why))

I smiled warmly as I walked down the street, It was a nice and calm Friday afternoon, Mini to my left as we walked. I was visiting him and the guys for the week, laughing I smiled as we ate the icecream Craig was generous enough to buy us both icecream. Hearing foot steps behind us I ignored them, hearing their laughter I got curious and started listening to what they said as Craig continued to talk about that happened on his latest meme stream. [that I watched fully bc they are funny as balls] "It's bad enough that he's fat and even eating icecream come on?" I internally froze as I realized that they was shit talking Criag who was next to me.

      "Nah the cow next to him is worse, bet she doesn't even know what diet means." They cackled, stopping Craig I turned to the both of them not caring for the questioning look Craig gave me. "Would you two boys like to repeat that to our faces." I glared hissing out the word boys, the taller one had little to nothing to him, the other one a bit more stalky but nothing I couldn't handle. "Yeah, you two fat cows should learn what a diet is." The taller one sneered at us crossing his arms.

      "Craig, hold my icecream." I hissed watching Craig open his mouth before shutting taking it from me too shocked to really stop whatever I was about to do. "Fat? Oh no dear it's power." (If you get that reference, bless-) I glared as they both laughed at me untill I swung at them, that knocked the smile off there face as they both squared up to me. "Craig, don't get involved." I chuckled as I dodged a punch from the shorter of the two, they both seemed glad for a fight, I can't wait to make them regret who they chose.

       Holding my nose closed I followed Criag as he fastly rushed me to John's house since it was closer than his. I of course won the fight, but man did that smaller boy have a had a hard hit, they both were definitely in worse shape than I was but in the end we both fought the only difference was that I won. "You are so amazingly stupid! God you care too much about what people say, what am I going to do with you? God help me, One of these days your gonna get us in big trouble." Craig ranted like a worried mother hen as he used the spare key for John's house as he ran upstairs to go find John, knowing the other guys where out doing something today, probably vlogging.

       Walking into the kitchen I met eyes with the man in question, John looked at me in disbelief. "In a few seconds Craig is going to come in here and your going to tell him that your going to help me, I do not want to listen to Craig yell at me, or I just might jump off the roof." I hoarsely explained as I started to feel pain slowly seeping into my body, John slowly nodded confused as balls. "CRAIG! John's in the kitchen!" I yelled before holding my jaw in pain, the tall kid looked like a strong breeze could blow him away but man did that first hit from him hurt like fucking balls.

       Listening to Craig and John talk in fast but quiet voices, jumping up ontop of the kitchen's island I pulled out a pack of cigarettes out of my pocket. Sitting one to my lips I light it hearing the voices stop, "I thought you said you stopped." John asked as I took a deep inhale, "for the most part, only when I'm stressed and I did just fight two teenagers." I laughed before groaning in pain feeling my jaw throbbing in pain. "Can someone grab me an ice pack? Or like maybe help me?" I whined as the rush of the fight wore off, now I was in pain and pissy. Moving my hand away from my nose I didn't care if blood got on this shirt I'll just buy and new one.

     John locked eyes with Craig and he sighed ans nodded rubbing his forehead, "fine John, I trust you, (Y/n) I'll be back with a new shirt since that one is clearly ruined." Craig sighed as he walked over to me, "thank you, fucking dumbass." Craig finally broke down and gave me a small smile as he turned to leave with one last strong look to John. I watch John look for a ice pack. Wiping the blood from my nose away (more like smearing it across my check and getting it all over  my hands) I looked at John turn around and chuckle lowly, "it looks like you ate a bitch out and she got too into it and she hit your face." John joked as he gave me the ice pack rapped in a washcloth walking out of the room to probably go grab the first aid kit out of the bathroom.

      Gently resting the covered ice pack against my jaw I finish my cigarette, watching John come back in as he started to set up the first aid. "Your actually pretty calm, I thought this would brake your chill." I joked watching John give me an unamused smile. "No, but seeing your shit recked is not a great sight either." John snarky replied hiding his concern as he walked over to the skin and wetting a washcloth. "They were shit talking me and Craig's weight, you know how hard he's been working out, and staying on track! And I've even started working out at least twice a week, I've been trying, you gotta give me some kind of credit." I explained defining myself the best I could with out hurting my already bruising face.

     John, sighed knowing how much my friends ment to me, "Fine, now this is gonna hurt, so relax and trust me." John huffed as he gently started to wipe away the blood on my cheek, and under my nose. I watched John's focused face, I relaxed my body, I didn't even realize I was tensed. "Take a picture It'd last longer." John smiled, and he moved up to above my eyebrow were a nasty cut was, the taller boy had a nails that cut.

     I chuckled at John's remark before clinching my fists in pain. "Sorry." John whispered, feeling his warm breath tickle my face smelling his breath, mint of course that was the only flavor he vaped. I stayed still and quite as John gently placed an bandaid on my cut. Looking my face over one last time to see if he missed any cuts, but only seeing bruises which he couldn't do anything about the bruises, "(Y/n) I-" I cut John off when I grabbed his face pulling him into me kissing him. As I was about to pull away I felt John's hands grab the back of my head pushing back into the kiss, with a quiet humm of happiness.

      Finally I slowly pulled away, "sorry, for no warning, but I love you so much, more than I can really say." I blushed at John's small smirk. "Actually I was about to do the same but first." John paused, flicking my forehead "that's for being so retarded," I gave John a pout rubbing my forehead. Grabbing my face gently cupping my cheeks making sure to not push on them, he pulled me into another sweet kiss. Moving my head to the side I deepened the kiss, "Should I come back later?" I heard Craig remarked behind us at the opening of the kitchen.

   Pulling away I started laughing at Craig's teasing look he sent us, "About time you two, I thought you guy's would never get together." Craig joked as he walked over to us handing me my Shirt, "I'll be on my way and leave you two alone." Craig laughed winking as he left. "(Y/n)?" John asked, I turned to him with a smile as I ran my fingers through his long bleached hair, probably getting some blood in it from my hands. "Yes?" I simply replied feeling like I was on cloud nine. "I love you too, more than I love anything else." John whispered against my lips before kissing me again, keeping his touchs light and soft not wanting to hurt me.

   Who knew that fighting two teenagers would get you together with your crush?

((Hope you guys enjoyed! You can send in asks about me or requests! From anyone from banana bus squad or the misfits!))

[badchoosey]

Endless Summer, Book One. Chapter 1: This Must Be Heaven

???: Stay down! It’s coming this way!

??? 2: Tim! Give me your hand!

??? 3: You don’t understand, do you? Of course not. But you will… in time.

The plane shudders, jolting you awake. You blink away the strange dream as your eyes adjust to the bright sunlight outside…

Tim: Wow…

Your best friend Diego gives you a goofy smirk from the seat beside you.

Diego: Morning, sleepyhead.

Tim: I’m not still dreaming, right?

Diego: Doesn’t feel real, does it? But we’re finally on our way!

The chatter of the ten contest winners from your school fills the small plane…

Quinn: One magical week in paradise, here we come!

Craig: All expenses paid, what whaaaat!

Raj: Good thing too. I’m so deep in student debt I couldn’t even afford instant ramen right now.

Diego: Hey… you okay, Tim? Bad dream?

Tim: Just a really weird one. I dreamt about… about him!

You instantly recognise the guy walking down the aisle toward you.

Diego: You had a dream about Sean Gayle? Well, what are you waiting for? Go talk to him!

Diego pushes you out into the aisle, right as he passes by! You bump into each other.

Sean: Whoa, hello there!

Diego: My friend Tim here wants to say something.

Time: Outta my way! Think you can take up all that room with those big muscles? Think again, bud!

Sean: How, uh, rude of me...

Sean excuses himself as he slips by you.

Diego: Oh man, got that whole thing on video. You’ve gotta see your face… Huh, weird. Is it really 5:15? We should’ve landed an hour ago and it didn’t feel like you’d been snoring that long.

Tim: Hilarious. I’ll go ask the pilot if something’s up.

As you make your way forward, you pass by the other students talking loudly over each other…

Aleister: Excuse me, will you all please cease your babbling?! The tour guide is trying to speak!

Lila: Thank you Aleister! As you tour guide for the week, I just want to say that we should all try to… you know, be friends! It is an island after all, so… you’re kinda stuck with each other! Hee hee!

Zahra: Is it too late to jump out of the plane?

The pilot has his combat boots kicked up on the dashboard.

Tim: Excuse me. It’s Jake right? Weren’t we supposed to have landed by now…? Wait, are you asleep?!

Jake: Hrn?

He opens his eyes and looks back at you. Instantly you recognise his face too… from that same bizarre dream…

Jake: Listen, Boy Scout, don’tcha know it’s rude to wake someone who’s taking a nap?

Tim: ‘Boy Scout’?

Jake: What can I say? I give nicknames to people who annoy me.

Tim: In that case, I’m calling you Jared Leto.

Jake: ‘Jared Leto’? Whoa, hang on, I do not look like Jared Leto! I had this haircut before Jared Leto did, okay?

Tim: No judgement here. We all get our style from somewhere.

Jake: Alright, comedian, when I come back in a week to pick y’all up, you, my friend, are riding in the cargo bay.

Time: Okay, okay. What if I just called you Joker?

Jake: Fine. But I’m picturing the Heath Ledger one instead. Anyway, relax. We ain’t landing ‘til… The hell? That time ain’t right… And that ain’t right either.

He whacks the instrument panel on his dash a few times.

Tim: You sure you know what you’re doing?

Jake: If you knew half the things I’ve survived, you’d bet on me to get you through anyth--

Out of nowhere, turbulence hammers the plane! You’re thrown into the wall of the cockpit!

Tim: Aah!

Jake: Aw, just great! This stormfront’s coming in quick.

He leans in and grabs the yoke.

Jake: Get your ass in a seat, hear? And tell everybody to buckle up.

Tim: But--

Jake: Now, Boy Scout!

Dark clouds close in around the plane, gusts rocking it side to side. Everyone starts shouting…

Raj: Ohhhh, I am really regretting that airport Chipotle!

Craig: Don’t puke, bro! If you puke, I’m gonna puke!

Michelle: Where the hell did this storm come from?! It was a clear day!

Jake: It happens, okay? This is totally normal!

Zahra: Yeah. Sure. THAT looks normal.

Outside, balls of orange electricity coalesce out of the dark sky and explode in a crackle of sparks!

Grace: It looks like ball lightning… but I’ve never seen anything quite like this!

Aleister: This is all wrong! I can’t die here, surrounded by these morons!

Sean: Everyone, just breathe! We’re gonna get through this!

Quinn: Oh god, Oh god…

A blistering crack of thunder deafens you as lightning strikes the plane! Sparks fly in the cockpit!

Jake: Welp, engines just lost power! Bringin’ her down manually! Everybody, hang on!

The shouting grows louder as your classmates start to panic… all except one. A girl with a tight ponytail and a long scar across her eye sits alone in the back row of the plane, silent and unfazed.

Lila: Tim! Safety first! Please find a seat!

You look for an empty space around you… You tumble into the seat beside Quinn as the plane lurches violently! Quinn’s face is drawn tight, refusing to look.

Quinn: Hff… hff…

Tim: Just breathe. It’ll pass.

Quinn: This can’t happen… not yet… it’s too soon.

Quinn grips the armrests tightly. Her chest rises and falls shallowly, as if she’s having trouble breathing. You rest your hand gently on top of hers.

Tim: I’m here. You’re not alone. We’ll be okay.

Quinn: I…

She relaxes and lets out a deep sigh. When she opens her eyes, they meet yours.

Quinn: Thank you…

She offers you her hand. You take it. She smiles sweetly, and it somehow makes all the shouting and alarms fade to the background.

Quinn: I’m Quinn.

Tim: Tim.

Jake: Just a little farther! I think we’re almost out!

Just as the lightning reaches fever pitch, the plane bursts out of the storm clouds into clear sky!

Raj: Woooooooohoooooo! We’re alive!

Quinn: Tim, look! There it is…

Jake: Get a good look now, ‘cause we’re coming in fast! Welcome to La Huerta.

The plane sinks toward the gorgeous, sprawling island. At its center, a volcano rises above the rainforest, breathing a white column of smoke.

Jake: La Huerta Tower, this is tail number XC-DMK, requesting emergency priority to land!

Radio: …

Jake: Carlos! Pick up, you lazy bastard. It’s Jake!

Radio: …

Jake: Ignoring me won’t make me forget the hundred bucks you owe me. Like it or not, we’re coming in!

The plane lands on a dirt airstrip at the edge of the island, pulling into a hangar. You step down the stairs into the warm tropical sunshine.

Tim: Rough landing, Joker. Hope you don’t work for tips.

Jake: You kidding? I’m a damn hero for even getting you on the ground! Carlos, I need a tune-up! … Carlos!

As Jake marches off, the rest of your group pulls their luggage from the plane’s cargo bay…

Quinn: This island’s supposed to be one of the most beautiful places on earth. The beaches, the waterfalls…

Grace: It’s also home to a plethora of rare flora and fauna!

Craig: Only ten spots on the trip, and they had to give one to this dork…

You reach for your suitcase handle just as Sean does.

Sean: Oh, sorry!

Tim: If you wanna carry my bag, go right ahead.

Michelle: Oh my god. Could you be any more desperate?

A pretty girl in heavy makeup drapes her arms around Sean.

Michelle: People like you always hover around the spotlight like moths.

Tim: Spotlight?

Michelle: Yeah, right. As if you don’t know who Sean is.

Craig: Seriously? Our superstar quarterback? … The Heisman frontrunner?

Sean: Guys, it’s cool. Chill out--

Michelle: Look, Sean doesn’t need any famehounds hanging around, got it?

Tim: Exactly. So what are you doing here?

Michelle: Ex-cuse me?!

Tim: You heard me. You’re just stalling to think up a comeback. Don’t worry. I’ll wait.

Michelle: You--

Sean: Michelle, can you chill? And I don’t mean Netflix and chill. I mean actual chill. Please.

As Michelle starts arguing with Sean, you back away. Your foot clinks on something.

Tim: Huh? What’s this?

Diego: Is that… a tranquilizer dart? The vial’s nearly empty. It must’ve hit its target.

Tim: Yeah, and this is a pretty big dose. Whatever animal they took down must’ve been huge.

Diego: You mean, if they took it down.

You look up and see someone watching you from nearby, listening to your conversation.

Tim: Hey, Diego… who is that?

Diego: Dunno. Got eyes for the mysterious hottie, huh?

Tim: There’s something… off about her.

Diego: What gives you that idea?

Tim: She’s too quiet.

Diego: Quiet? So what? I’m quiet. Well, when I’m not around you.

Tim: I guess you’re right. I don’t know why I’m being suspicious.

Diego: Huh… well, there is one thing.

Tim: What?

Diego: We were told that ten students from our college had won this trip, right? Obviously we’re not counting the pilot or the guide, but… Count us off. She makes eleven.

You look in the girl’s direction once more, and this time she’s staring directly back at you. Your eyes lock. You try to look away, but for some reason you can’t, as if she’s pulling you in with her gaze.

Jake: Hey, Lila! Where the hell are your people?

Jake storms back, and at last the silent girl looks away. The strange hold over you dissipates. You shake it off.

Jake: There’s nobody here!

You all look around. You and your group are still the only people at the airstrip.

Lila: They should be here in a shuttle to take us up to the main resort, but… I’m sure it’s just a slight delay! No need to fret! They’ll be here any minute.

Jake: The hell with that. I’m going up to that control tower to get some answers.

Tim: What do you think is going on here?

Jake: No idea… Call it a gut feeling, but whatever it is, it ain’t good. So, Boy Scout? You comin’ or not?

Michelle: I could go with you--

Jake: Wasn’t talkin’ to you, Maybelline.

Lila: Um, okay! I guess, the rest of you, please follow me? We’ll take the short walk up the hill to the resort. Sounds fun, right? Yay! Um, Quinn? Where are you going?

Quinn is skipping past Lila, unbuttoning her blouse.

Quinn: Some of us want to explore the beach a little first! We’ll meet you guys at the hotel! Oof, this button’s stuck. Tim, could you help me?

Tim: Oh! Sure…

Quinn draws close to you, and you help her undo the last button. She slips out of her top.

Quinn: Ahh, that’s better! You’re coming to the beach with us, right?

Tim: I’m tired. I’ll just head up to the hotel now.

Your group gradually winds your way up the paved road, rolling your suitcases. You’re beginning to fatigue when you come around the bend and see it…

Lila: May I be the first to welcome you all to The Celestial!

Grace: We get to stay here?!

Zahra: Huh. Maybe this trip won’t suck.

Sean: Well? What are we waiting for? Let’s check out our rooms.

Your group excitedly heads toward the lobby, passing under a long, ornamented overhang, while Lila launches into her rehearsed speech.

Lila: ‘The Celestial Hotel and Resort, the jewel of the Caribbean, boasts 25 stories and 1,200 suites of the finest tropical accommodations you can imagine. Built on the island of La Huerta, which means ‘The Garden’, the Celestial ranked in Travel and Leisure’s top ten global hotels last year.’

The automatic doors slide open welcomingly, and you enter the crisp air conditioning of the lobby… Every last one of you freezes where they stand.

Tim: Um…

Lila: I… I don’t understand.

The silence is deafening. The front desk stands deserted. Suitcases and luggage carts lie unattended. On a table, a half-finished wine glass gathers dust.

Zahra: If this place is supposed to be so great… Then where the hell is everyone?

[kfdirector]

Student Awareness of Nonstandard Danger Society

     It was 3:54 in the afternoon, on September 27th, a Monday.

    Tracey was the one with the headphones on, while the others were gathered in room 203 to hammer out the schedule for the upcoming week.

    Potential drug deal.  Indecent exposure in the park.  Someone taking Chinese food orders for the rest of the department.  And then, something a bit complex for the memorized code numbers.

    She looked up.  “Um, hey, everyone?”  She had their attention.  “They’re talking about some kind of disturbance at a shopping center, um, the one just down the road actually, people saying either a bear or an alligator on the loose.”

    Mario gave her an odd look.  “Who could possibly - a bear or an alligator?”

    Niewitzski rubbed his chin.  “Throw in a giant lobster or maybe a praying mantis and put it all in a blender, that would be a - oh, crap!  That’s where the van is!”

    He started to push himself up, as Stella slammed the desk hard and nearly knocked him back.  “Then we ride!  Either to finally find our monster, or else just to protect our property!”

    Niewitzski found his balance back, his ankle still a bit sore in his air cast but getting better all the time.  “SANDS!  It is go time!”  With his foot nearly healed, he could get moving at a pretty good pace down the hallway -

    “Hey!  No running in the hall - Niewitzski?!”

    “Sorry, Jibrail!  An emergency!”

    The vice-principal watched as the five students ran with him.  He called after - “That involves all of them?”

    “I’ll explain later!”

    That was, to Niewitzski’s knowledge, a lie.  He had no plan to explain how and why a schoolteacher, without prior arrangement with parents or faculty, would have five students join him in his car for an impromptu trip four miles down the road.  He had barely more plan to deal with a monster eating people four miles down the road. He was going to focus on coming up with an answer for the latter.

    Despite the poor power-to-weight ratio of his car, he could still squeeze a bit of speed out of it when he needed, or wanted - but of course the police would also be responding, so he could keep it down a bit.  Say, to ninety-five miles an hour.

    “SHINE, JESUS, SHINE!”

    Stella had taken advantage of her shotgun call to change Niewitzski’s radio about a moment after he had turned the ignition.  Given the speed and the crisis, he saw no advantage in potentially offending God or Stella by changing the channel back, so it stayed.  He figured he was already inviting enough trouble by passing a patrol car - one with lights and sirens going - that was heading in the same direction.

    Seeing an empty intersection coming up, he crossed the median, hit the curb on the far side, and rode straight up a small hill into an empty parking lot - someone without a death wish planning to follow him would take a while to do so.  He spared a moment’s glance in the rear view mirror for his passengers.  Mario, normally brown, was white.  Craig, normally white, was clear.  Joe was grinning like a loon.  Stella was ranting.  “Can’t this junkheap go any faster?  Even on a teacher’s salary you should do better!”

    Rubber burned, brakes squealed, and a third noise he couldn’t identify but knew was a bad noise, automotively speaking, was heard as he yanked the emergency brake, twisted the steering wheel, and brought the car spinning through the parking lot, spiraling toward Stella’s van.

    Niewitzski’s cell phone, sitting in the drink holder, buzzed with a text message.

    Joe picked it up.  “Someone called Regina says ‘R U CRAZY’, question-mark exclamation-point frowny-face.  Are you seeing someone other than Miss Early?”

    His car came to a rest a yard from Stella’s van.  She grabbed the keys and stepped out before it was at a full and complete stop.

    “One, don’t think so; two, not sure if I’m really seeing her either; three, good news, that patrol car we passed was hers.  We might still get away with this.”  He thrust his hand to the back seat, Joe slapped his phone into it, and the rest of the gang piled out after Stella.

    She had pulled open the back of the van and was attempting to identify things for the benefit of the others.  “Tracey, Craig!  You guys know how this stuff works, right?”

    Tracey hesitated; Craig did not.  “You betcha!”

    “Great!  Run this equipment!  Do science!  Joe, Mario, Coach!”  Niewitzski shook his head.  He didn’t want more than one of them calling him ‘coach’.  “You guys know how weapons work, right?”  Niewitzski shook his head harder, for other objections.  “We’re underage, so I got melee weapons!  Baseball bats, batons, axes, that sort of thing.  Take your pick!  Coach, take them if you want, if you’re gonna use a gun you have to bring your own.  My dad wasn’t feeling that guilty.”

    Niewitzski thought of the holster at his ankle not in an air cast, and thought maybe he could leave it there this time.  He reached for a baton.

    “Also!  Coach!  You need to bring the van in close to wherever the monster is, so the scanning equipment can all do the science close to it!”

    “Yes, ma’am,” Niewitzski started to snark, as he opened the driver’s door of the van.  He paused, a mournful look on his face.  “...it’s a stick.”

    “What?!”  Stella cried out to the heavens in petty and ill-timed outrage.  “All the greatest cars have manual transmissions!  Superior control, classic styling!”     “I drive the same car I’ve been driving since I was eighteen.  Does that look like classic styling?  And the greatest cars these days are electric with continuously variable - ”

    “Philistine!  Fine, I’ll drive!  You ride shotgun, as my Responsible Adult!”

    She could make the van move forward, which was more than Niewitzski could have managed, but each pump of the clutch was a roll of the dice.  Stella muttered something obscene under her breath.  “Okay, I’ll get this thing replaced before our next outing!”

    “That’s fine, that’s - just, there!  Over there!”

    The reason for the invocation of bears or alligators was a bit more clear.  It was big, it walked on two legs, it had scales.  And the lack of ‘lobster’ or ‘praying mantis’ was similarly clear; this one didn’t look quite like the one he’d already fought.  Its claws were elongated paws with unreasonably large nails, rather than pincers; it’s jaw was large, protruding, and very toothy.  That the reports had been even that accurate was a surprise, Niewitzski thought - masses of panicking people were usually not great eyewitnesses.  And the panic was appropriate, as the monster was currently lifting a subcompact car over its head.

    Tracey and Craig stared at the monster through electronic eyes; Mario and Joe and Stella and Niewitzski through organic ones.

    “Remember,” Stella said, pumping adrenalin clear in her voice, “scan every possible frequency and mode and - and whatever else the science back there does!  No stone unturned!”

    Mario glanced over at his senior.  “Joe, I’m thinking - maybe the baseball bat feels a little inadequate.”

    “Fire axes?”

    “Definitely.”

    Niewitzski leapt out of the van, and walked towards the monster, too psyched to even feel pain in his foot.  He heard Joe and Mario following him, just a few steps behind.

    “Hey!” he barked.  “HEY! Tall, dark, and squamous!”

    The monster had ears to hear, it seemed.  It tossed the subcompact car away, and turned to face him.

    “You think you can pull stuff like this?  In my town?  Hah! Forget it, bub!”  He doubted it had even the slightest clue what he was saying.  That was irrelevant: the banter was for his own morale, not its.  “Hell, I took one of you on just the other day!  He was bigger, nastier, had the advantage of ambush, and I still kicked his ass!  Look at you: not even a weird-ass tentacle-tongue thing or pincer claws!  And me, with the numbers this time!”

    He let his baton hang from his wrist, dropped and drew his handgun.  “I don’t know where you’re from, or why you’re here, but you’re starting something, and I’ve got a problem with that!  Now, you can stand down and submit to the lawful authority of the State of Colorado, United States of America, or we can open up a whole can of jellied whoop-ass!”

    “Fuck yeah, Coach!”     “Language, Joe!”

    The monster began to approach.

    Niewitzski proceeded to call upon a technique learned from a few videos and practiced three or four times a few summers ago.  Ordinarily, he reasoned, dangerous creatures of this size tended to take a very long time to die from blood loss.  A bear, for instance, you could hit with an axe, and it would still find the chewy bits in your skull before it got around to dying.  Shooting a wide hole through something, though, almost always helped: if it had a skin, that implied there were things inside it wanted to keep in, or things outside it wanted out, and either way, frustrating those plans by puncturing it was always the right answer!

    That was his theory.  He fired two rounds at the center mass, with the monster at ten yards away and getting closer.  He then raised his gun slightly, and fired right between the eyes.  Textbook Mozambique Drill, he assured himself.

    Unfortunately, he realized with his ears ringing, there was a bit of a problem.  ‘Right between the eyes’ turned out not to be quite where this thing kept its brain.

    “Oh - nuts!”  He looked for something else to shoot as it bore down on him, but Mario and Joe chose that moment to charge in from the sides, axes swinging wildly.  Niewitzski dropped the gun and kicked it away, ducking down and coming up lashing with his baton, hoping he could at least hurt the thing without risking killing one of his own students.

    Joe yelled, Mario screamed, and both of them brought their axes down in overhead chops - striking the monster, front and side.  The beast’s jaw snapped, just missing Mario’s face, and it swung a huge clawed paw at Joe, hitting him square in the chest and knocking down, Joe’s axe still wedged in its side.

    Niewitzski ran towards Joe, as Mario struggled to pull his own axe out of the monster’s scales.  Mario jumped back before he had enough leverage, staggering as a lashing claw hit him in the side of the head, clutching his ear as blood flowed out.

    The teacher interposed himself between the beast and Joe, eyes on the claw it was lifting in the air, mind frantically racing for a way to block its immense strength from -

    Boom.

    Most of the monster’s head had vanished in a spray.  Apparently, somewhere in there had been the brain, because now the thing slumped to the ground, quivering slightly.

    “You idiot motherfu-”

    Jacob spun.  “Regina?” His old friend, his very beautiful and very angry friend, the redhead who, he thought in a completely useless way, really did look good in a uniform - she didn’t break stride as she approached, clenching her pump action shotgun tightly.

    “The hell were you thinking?”

    “I, uh, well - ”

    Untouched by the monster itself, he still would not come through the battle unscathed.  He didn’t even see the butt of her gun coming, and in fact only observed it by interpolating from the fact that he was now laying on the ground with a massive headache.  He did not get to lay directly on the ground for long, as she, perching over him, soon yanked his upper half up at an angle, bringing his face closer to hers as she yelled.

    “You asshole!” she shouted, and then she kissed him on the lips.  He blinked - wait, what?  “You could have been killed!”  She kissed him a second time.  “They could have been killed!”  He was almost paying enough attention to hope to be kissed a third time, but instead got punched in the face, his head jerking back just short of the asphalt.  Somehow, he thought that seemed more fair.  He tasted salt, and felt something loose in his mouth.  Maybe a molar.

    He offered a pained “ow” as the maximum amount of apology he could muster.

    “Officer, officer!” he heard Joe shout.

    Regina stood up, and having been supporting Jacob, let his head slam back onto the asphalt.

    “The monster, it’s..."

    He turned his head, she hers.

    The monster wasn’t just dissolving, or evaporating - it was fading away.  And then, it was gone.

[profbarton]

 SERBIA. 0700 HOURS.

    the last thing clint ever suspected after getting back from the little getaway with the academy, was that he'd be off again, whisked away onto a mission. it was the nature of his job, he had gotten pretty good over the years of just shooting his family a quick text saying what he was doing and that he loved them -- he even made sure to shoot bobbi a text too. it was hard to get out of that habit also.. at the beginning, she was often on missions with him and then it turned into clint being out with the avengers and risking his life alongside a gods, soldiers and... a hulk. even then, clint knew he was outgunned, knew he was the smaller man and knew that he had the biggest chance of getting hurt or getting himself killed. so sending a text to his kids had gotten easier and easier over the years, all because of his luck.

    though considering the predicament he was in? he knew his luck was up. it was all fun and games tumbling over multiple enemies, using his bow to his full advantage, but the whole team was outnumbered. he didn't know what fury and hill were expecting anyway; he may have been good.. but he wasn't that good. leading students in a classroom was simple, looking after the avengers was simple, but when there was at least three times the amount of agents compared to barton and his team? it was game over. but clint being clint.... wasn't going down without a bit of a fight. 

    "stevenson, craig... you two go to the right, we'll try and flank them. honestly ladies? you two have the best shot out of these idiots." barton muttered, referencing to the other males around him. they had taken cover after a range of shots had been fired at them, all making the effort to shield themselves so they wouldn't be hit. this wasn't how this was supposed to go.. it wasn't supposed to be this hard. and it wasn't like the agents with him were low level agents, this should have been a piece of cake. "fury.." clint mumbled to his comms as he started moving, keeping low on his hands and knees as he practically crawled forward so they could jump them. "i don't think these guys are serbian.. honestly boss? i'm thinking we have russians on our hands... they're like mini natasha's and if i'm the only one at headquarters that could take down the black widow? these agents won't be able to do that. with all due respect sir, this should have been a job for the avengers. or do we just fight aliens now?" it was a bit of passive aggressiveness, particularly because the man should have known that there would be some struggle. he doubted that anyone expected this though. these numbers could have never been expected. so much for so called assassinations; whoever they were supposed to be taking out, knew they were coming. "should have came here myself." the blonde muttered, reaching to grab a gun of one of his own agents before popping up and firing a few bullets, watching as two people fell to the ground instantly. "why do you have your bow and arrow with you if you don't use it?" he heard one mumble, unable to help but roll his eyes as he reloaded the gun. he clearly wasn't giving the pistol back to the agent, it was clint's now. "because we're past the point of stealth and if i feel the need? i want to keep the arrows to fire them all at you when we get home."

    holding up his fist as if to tell everyone to shut up, he stalled, glancing around the dark room. it was too quiet.. far too quiet. which meant that precautions really needed to be taken. "everyone make sure their vests are on securely.. lasers on your guns too... keep the flashlights off for now. if you ate enough carrots when you were kids, you'll be able to see fine in this. and if we need them? you'll know when to put them on." he leaned down to check his boots, ensuring he had extra arrows just in case they were in a lot of trouble. at this point? they were getting to it, but he knew fury trusted him enough to not try and pick them up until it was desperately needed. "honestly sir?? i think you should just pick up these guys and let me finish the job. they're a bunch of idiots. fucki---" "barton." the small warning from his boss had him instantly closing his mouth, slowly rising to his feet again, the gun he had stole firmly in his hand so he could fire at any point. "hill.. do we have visual yet?" after getting the confirmation he needed, he indicated for a pair to move forward, clint following behind them closely so it wouldn't go south. "any thermal readings or are we dealing with a bunch of aliens after all??" and there was the passive aggressiveness again. "it's just you two at hq, right? no nat.. no bobbi, no kids?" of course he knew there was more people monitoring on computers, but of course he was referring to himself in this situation and people he cared about. "i got a bad feeling about this.. i don't know why because well... there doesn't seem to be anyone around right now, but this feeling is... different." he hadn't felt it before. maybe he had slightly, but for the first time in a long time... he was partially afraid. 

GROUP TEXT ;; CLINT, ADRIANA, KIMBERLY & FRANCIS: 

CLINT: Hey guys, daddy's away on a mission so if you need a parent over the next day or so, shoot your mom a text. Or you know, talk to Natasha, Steve or Tony. Once I'm home, I promise you three won't be able to shut me up and will have to hear me talk about god knows what. Find a night where you're all free and have time to hang out with your old man and we'll go out for dinner and a few drinks. Love you guys so much!! Be good and please don't kill each other or other people... I should have put that last part in a message for Adriana but sure.. whAT are you going to do??? Stay safe and be good!!

TEXT ;; CLINT ~ BOBBI 

CLINT: Hey Birdie, just letting you know that i'm away on a mission with shield so if any of the kids lose their heads or something, you're going to be their contact. Let's hope nothing happens in the span of a day though, things should be fine there. I'll give you a call once I'm home and we can plan something with the kids because I think they miss us just.. being a unit. Though maybe that's just me talking. Whatever. Talk soon xx

Hey Nat, 

I'm sorry that this is down on a note but honestly? I hope it's terrified you the way it terrified me when you left one for me :-). This has nothing to do with that, just that I got a call to go on a mission and will be gone before you get home. Sending a text to you seemed odd and I didn't want you to try and jump in and get in on this because well.. It should be a piece of cake. I'll call you before I leave and no, I'm still not giving you the details about it then. Don't try and ask Fury or Hill because they'll say the same thing. Well Fury probably won't because it's... you. But know everything will be fine as usual. I'll be back before morning and if you're in the academy teaching, I'll pop in to see you. If not, I'll see you at home. And dinner is on me. Whatever you want, just text me and I'll make it for you to make up for this spontaneous leave of absence. You get it though. You always did. You always have. I love you. Stay safe baby. Lots of love, your hawk.

~

It was then that his hand moved towards his upper arm, rubbing furiously at the spot where he knew he had all his childrens' names and date of birth tattooed on him. if clint didn't have a good feeling about all of this? something was truly going to happen. maybe he was being paranoid, too paranoid one may have thought. he could take down one black widow-esqe agent easily with the element of surprise, but multiple of them? that was a different story. he may have been mistaken, they may not have even been russian, but the combat and intellect in terms of fighting seemed to be on a different level. if he could just get them to talk,,, he'd know for sure. hell, if he could get close enough, maria or anyone at hq would be able to identify who some of the enemies were through facial recognition. "alright, top and blade, you two are still circling around, right?" he kept his voice low, the relief practically in his eyes once the two women he had sent around to flank a few of the enemies responded. "alright perfect.. everyone with me, make sure your suppressors are on too. we don't have the initial stealth and level of response that we were anticipating, but we still need to keep it quiet. you don't take anyone out unless i approve or command it to happen." it had been said all before, but in times like this, people needed to be reminded. "i just took out two of their agents... they're not going to play nice. so stay tight, stay with your group and look out for each other. if you're looking forward, have someone watch your six, alright? we're going to have to split up soon." clint didn't sound happy about that, but it needed to happen. it needed to happen now that they knew how many people there were in this one building. 

    moving up towards the bodies that he had shot at seconds before, clint slowly dropped down to the ground. "bull, you got me?" he mumbled to one of the agent's next to him, making sure he was looking out and around them to make sure they weren't being snuck up on whilst clint investigated the body. one hand on the trigger of his gun, the other moving to search the body for any sign of id or just to search for any other weapons. he probably shouldn't have been searching for a bomb on the victim so openly even though he knew they probably would have saw it already or that it probably would have went off through the impact of the body hitting the ground. "can't find any id, but you guys can see his face, right?" he asked maria, titling his body slightly so that hq could get a good look at his face and run it through the systems. "i'm gonna search the next person.. bull, you checking your six still?" clint questioned, patting down the body and freezing once he felt something in the front pocket. "we got something here." he warned, not hesitating to dig in to reach whatever it was. thankfully, it was just a phone. "alright, anyone good with cracking passwords around here or nah?" seeing the shake of his heads from everyone around him, barton nodded. "alright, do you want me to bring this home, fury?? or just dump it? chances are that it's probably bugged and there's a tracker on it. i mean, if you guys do it.. who's to say that other organisations don't?" once he got the order to just dump it, clint nodded, putting it back into the other's pocket and standing up again.

    at least they had facial recognition and could run it through the system and hopefully let clint know just how dangerous this all was. right now? they had no choice but to keep going. he had an assassination to get to, he didn't need to be slacking off when whoever he was looking for could have ditched the building and ran off. "alright.. we gotta split up. go in twos.. or threes if you really need it. i'm gonna go off by myself, keep your radios on and if you see a map of this place on the walls or whatever, take a picture of it. remember the route you take, whether you're walking up a flight of stairs of if you're walking down the longest corridor ever." nodding to himself, he handed back the gun he had once stole to only pull out his own one. "kill on sight. that's an order. hesitate and i'll kill you." it may have been unorthodox in a sense, but he didn't actually care. his only orders were to kill and he could have done that had he been alone. "i want to HEAR you guys talking to each other.. keep it internal so you can only hear through your ear pieces. check up on each other if you don't hear from anybody in a while though. alright?? great. now that we've established that i could clearly be the next leader of shield, i'm gonna go." and without another word, clint had done just that, moving deeper into the shadows with his gun held up.

    granted, it was pretty weird moving around without someone else. weird to not have someone checking his six, weird to not be checking someone else's six. it was usually him and nat, or him and wanda. it was almost frowned upon to do something so dangerous by one's self and clint knew that. he was fully aware about the risk he was taking, especially with how many hostiles were in the building. but he didn't care. he was given an objective and he was going to make sure he completed that. it was his job after all. raising an eyebrow at the room at the bottom of the corridor, he noted how the door had been left open and despite all his senses telling him not to do it, he moved closer, letting his shoulder brush against the frame so he could nudge it open slowly, sliding in against the wall once there was enough room for him to get through without struggling. surprisingly, there was no one inside. "maria.. does this look it could be of any use?" he asked with a tiny smirk, knowing they would be watching the footage as he walked. "you want me to look through it?" as his question was declined though, he instantly pouted. "then can i make the whole system go boom or?" without even waiting for his orders, he had already shot one of his blasting arrows towards the system, his thumb resting on the detonator on his bow. "one quick sweep of the room and i found nothing.. i'm moving elsewherem looks like there might be more of these rooms so i'm gonna have a quick look." he informed them, waiting until he was a good bit away before pressing the button, letting the explosion spread across the room he had been in seconds before.

    "calm down, it was just barton." he heard fury tell the other agents in the field who were were panicking after hearing it. "yeah, yeah, i'm fine!!" his eyes rolled, continuing to move swiftly down the hallways. he didn't know what had caused him to immediately swing behind him with his bow, call it intuition, because the agent that had managed to creep up behind him was beyond quiet.. clint hadn't even heard or saw him. but thankfully the quick swing had made contact and knocked the other person onto the ground, giving clint enough time to quickly reach for the pistol to use that rather than to waste an arrow. "where is he?? and don't question me or pretend you don't know who I'm talking about. we both know exactly who i'm referring to." the silence from the other simply egged clint on more and noticing the slightest movement from the other, he inched forward again. "i'm not gonna ask again.. where is he?" another few seconds of silence and clint grunted, firing one shot at the other's skull, immediately killing them. what had surprised him, however, was the second person that had snuck up behind him, knocking him out in one swift hit to the head.

    he had been woken up with another punch to the face, face scrunching up as the pain surged throughout his body. “jesus christ.. i’m awake.” clint muttered, forcing his eyes open so he could look around. it wasn't until he noticed that the majority of the team were in the room, surrounded by enemies that he seemed to wake up faster. before he thought they were in trouble, now he knew that was definite. his mind was already scattering for ways to get out of the place. even if he was able to get free, that didn't mean any of the other agents would live. and again.. they were completely outnumbered. for every one of shield, there was at least four enemies. death was imminent. with no sign of the man he had been sent to kill, clint's gaze turned to look for weapons. of course they were out of reach, he wouldn't have expected it any other way. "look... all we want to do, is kill your boss. it's simple." clint said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. turned out the humour and sarcasm didn't disappear even when he was battered and bruised and practically touching death. 

    glancing down at his body, his brow arched slightly as he noticed that the tiny lens was still on him, most likely meaning that shield still had a visual on him. at least that was something. maybe if he move around enough, they’d be able to locate him and send out some more agents. though that wasn’t even the first thought in his mind once he noticed the arrowheads just resting in his pocket, near his vest. “distract ‘em.” he whispered to the agent next to him, giving him enough time to lean down quickly to use his mouth to grab one of the arrowheads, letting it rest in his mouth as he looked around. at that moment, he wasn’t thinking about his hearing even though he knew it was going to do damage. right now? all he was focused on was knocking out everyone in this room and powering through it so he could drag most of his agents outside the room. though he had noticed that the two female agents that he had sent out alone weren’t in said room. and if he knew shield agents well enough? they were circling around and waiting for someone inside to make the first move.. whether that was them.. or clint and his team. turning to glance behind him and at the windows in hope that the female agents would be waiting by, his smirk widened upon spotting one of the lasers. he opened his mouth slightly to reveal the arrowhead to the shield agents as discreetly as he could and once he didn’t spot any hesitance from the agents, he nodded slightly. they didn’t know the impact, but they clearly they knew clint had a plan of some sort.

he twirled the small bolt around in his mouth, leaning back into the chair with a tiny growl as he thought. he didn’t know what the impact would be like, he knew the sonic arrowhead wasn’t strong enough to be able to kill him.. but hell, he knew it would have some big impact. it was either he did this --- or he let himself and his team get killed. everyone had families --- he had his own too. his boy and his little girls, his fiancée, even the weird and wacky family of avengers he loved and worked with every so often. he’d much rather play this out than die. one quick glance back at the windows again and a nod, a small acknowledgement towards his fellow agents again before he pressed his tongue hard against the arrowhead with closed eyes.

it was almost instantly that there was a ringing sensation throughout his ears, the sensation completely overwhelming him to the point where he had knocked his own chair over out of complete shock. clint had managed to tug at the last piece of strength in his body to peek open his eyes, noticing how the two agents had ambushed and moved inside and were already dragging agents out of the room. though he lay basically lifeless, not being able to simply pick himself up off the ground or keep his eyes wide open. it was then that everything was practically flashing before his eyes --- the avengers, barney, kate, bobbi, lucky, adriana, kimberly, francis... natasha.

the one thing he had noticed before his eyes finally shut? 

                                    he couldn’t hear ANYTHING.

[drabbleshy]

of endless oceans and mortal gods

AO3 link: http://archiveofourown.org/works/11750733/chapters/26483289 AO3 profile: Drabbleshy

Published: 2017-08-09 Updated: 2017-08-08 Words: 1623 Chapters: 1/?

Summary:

“That’s one way of putting it,” the other retorted in a low utter as he dusted his book off, before pausing again, the book in both his hands now. “Sorry, did you just say-”

“What I think you said?” Apollo finished the inquiry for himself and the young man, too. The prior held his wrist very close to his chest. “Nope, bye!” Moirai avail me, he prayed mentally, quickly dashing down the streets of New York City.

Chapter 1 : It was many and many a year ago, in a kingdom by the sea

Apollo sighed. It had been too damn early for the average, lucid person to be awake; then again, he doubted he was either. People had either been sleeping for hours by this time or had just come home from night shifts and nights of parties and booze and drinking and had passed out on the couch or the floor. Oft the latter for our hero. People, he found, weren't particularly inclined to wake at very peak of dawn. It had been a peculiar revelation to him, seeing as he had done it since the day he had been born. His parents' friends used to laugh at the fact that he had been born with the rising sun. It - his birth - had been rather sudden, the labor starting a little too quickly. His father, he reasoned, broke a law or two too many to get them to the hospital on time.  "It's like you were born on a farm," his parents would tell him every morning when he was younger. When they were still... there. Gods, now he's made himself feel miserable. It had been about seven years now, approximately eight, but it hadn't stopped him from missing them. He figured that, as a child, losing your parents is just a big part of you. Forever.

He still remembered the day, in all its details, despite what others may tell him. His new guardians is what he called them, despite their gentle and, what they thought were subtle, nudges towards calling them Mom and Dad. His reply was always an astronomically simple one; "No." After which he'd leave the room or carry on with whatever scheme he was working on.

He shook his head and sighed. He can reminiscent of his parents later. Now is the time for one of the most consequential things in life: coffee! He paused and pouted, unsure where he was going. Well, he knew he where he was going, just not sure how to get there. He paused, surveying New York City with a determined look. Here, even minute streets could look familiar. He should have taken the subway, he knew that he should have done so since the moment he had passed the Lincoln Centre station. Now he was countless blocks away and he had seen no point in turning back now He supposed that if he turned right he could find a coffee shop near Central Park bu--

He stumbled forwards as somebody bumped into him. Turning around, he frowned at a puerile-looking man. The man smiled guiltily at Apollo, having forgotten to look ahead of himself as he walked. “Zeus, I apologise,” Apollo spoke first.

“That’s one way of putting it,” the other retorted in a low utter as he dusted his book off, before pausing again, the book in both his hands now. “Sorry, did you just say-”

“What I think you said?” Apollo finished the inquiry for himself and the young man, too. The prior held his wrist very close to his chest. “Nope, bye!” Moirai avail me, he prayed mentally, quickly dashing down the streets of New York City.

“...” The unfamiliar man stared in the direction that the other had made his elusion towards, before running after him. “HEY, WAIT A SECOND!” He caught up to him after a few streets but lost him when a crowd broke them up. He tried finding him, his apparent soulmate , again, however, he couldn’t. The man had disappeared into thin air. Not that could be done. Nope. That is ridiculous, he thought. Oh, well. He should go get coffee, he’s got classes in… He gaped at his watch and decided to hurry. He’ll be late as is.

***

He ran into the independent coffee shop, one of his new favourites in town, and ran up to the counter, out of breath. Releasing a tired sigh, he answered his phone. It was too early, he hadn’t had his coffee yet, he was going to be late, his soulmate ran away, and now his father was calling him. Could this day get any worse? “‘Mornin’,” he answered, endeavoring to sound as awake and gleeful as he possibly could at the very moment. A pause. “Yes, I’m up. Yes, I’m on my way to class.” A longer pause. He turned to check if the man ahead of him had finished with his order yet, before he paused, turning around sharply. In a somewhat hushed voice, he replied once again, readjusting his beanie meanwhile;

“What? There’s no need to come here, Dad! … Dad, please, I have to leave a good impression and, and working hard on the first month is consequential. Maybe you should come and meet me here in a few months, yeah?”

This had been some quick thinking on his side. He didn’t exactly want to spend his first month in college keeping his father away from potential friends. Once, Dad had been worried that he would drown. While standing. In ten inches of water. When he was fifteen . Just because he was looking up at the sun and the sky for a few minutes. He recollected the even with a small chuckle, forgetting to actually listen to his father speak.

“--, okay?”

“What? Um, sorry, affirmative, of course!” He relinquished a loud and surprised oh ! “Look, I gotta go, I’m gonna be late! BYELOVEYOUDAD!” His father barely responded before the young man ended the call and raised his head. “COFFEE.”

The waitress gave him a look. The Look. “You can stop yelling now, dude.” This earned her a blink.

“Right, sorry.”

“Kids these days. First, your friend comes in here, almost running away without paying when ya show up and now you. Yelling.” He observed her, confused. Kids these days? Miss, you’re five years older than me, tops! he didn’t say. “Tell me your order and your name. My break is now, but my buddy there will make your coffee. Or whatever you want. So, what will it be?”

He couldn’t decide if her smile was genuine or not. He gave it a thought before figuring that she’s either happy for a break or just trying to be polite to the customers, trying not to get fired. Either one was fine with him, voraciously. He glanced behind her, smiling a bit more. The guy was cute at least. One point to “Icarus. The name is Icarus.”

***

Icarus, mind you, did get that guy’s number. Well, he was working on it actually. He got started on it. He got his name. Craig. It was a nice name, he figured. He was more thinking about the amount of cute and hot one person could hold within themselves.

The rest of the day went wonderfully, he even forgot about the random man who was plausibly his soulmate, as well as his dad-crises. His professor was late, too, having arrived and then remembered that he had forgotten to turn off an electrical appliance that was sure to burn the house down seven times out of ten. Icarus believes that it was a stove or an iron. He isn’t sure, he never listened to the adults too much, unless they were speaking about something he was truly interested in. Literature. His first classes had been “THE BEST THING EVER” according to him, and he was exhausted from the excitement only by the end of his last class. He ended up meeting a few people, adding each on his social media, whichever they preferred. Icarus nearly jumped through the roof from the exhilaration he felt when somebody gave him their actual Tumblr.

The day ended with few incidents: somebody always managed to make a ruckus behind him, above him, every few classes - it nearly got him into trouble, every time. Icarus ended up splitting from his new-found friends soon enough, or perhaps too soon, seeing as he had been messaging them within the hour. A few of them mentioned meeting up with a ‘ handsome guy from the class.’ Apparently, his name was something they hid, all seeming a bit too delighted to do so. He decided to try and ignore it, thinking that perhaps they had already formed a group joke or initiation of some sort; the lot knew each other, most of them, and most were not first-years at all. He sighed, rubbing at an eye as he locked his phone and pocketed it. He was glad that it was cool today, it gave him an excuse to wear a beanie and his favourite button-up sweater, too! He scowled, wishing that he could have more coffee, but he promised that he’d save! Well, promised himself. That means that he can’t break it, it’d be rude and dishonest to himself! He paused as his stomach grumbled, remembering that he hadn’t eaten anything since lunch, in all that excitement!

He ceased where he stood, staring at his ebony black boots. He decided that taking a pause from walking home was a good, if not a great idea; he stepped onto the soil of the kids’ park, he sat into a free swing and pushed nonchalantly. The rocks pushed against each other, deeper into the ground, as his boots pushed against them all. He observed the beige rocks, the yellow leaves, he listened as the sounds of a nearby busy street and the wind that messed with stray locks that crowned his cheeks and even his plump, soft lips. Icarus smiled, raising arms with the wind, thoughts, fantasies of flight crawling into his mind. He hadn’t even noticed that someone had been in the seat beside him until the light-haired man interrupted his mind’s work, just as he had tasted the seas and oceans far away.

“WHY ARE YOU FOLLOWING ME?” yelled Apollo in his ear. Youch.

[cosmosogler]

hey, you know what’s really fun, but also essentially impossible? doing things after a dog barks directly into your ear hole before sunrise the third morning in a row!!!

this time it was really cool because i had taken the dogs out around 12:30 right before i went to bed so that cleo would not feel motivated to wake me up BEFORE 5 AM again. but later in the morning i found out that she actually just barked at my mom and dad to let her out literally every single hour between 12 and 5. and then when they kicked her out of their room to try and sleep a little bit she came back up to my room and jumped on my face and barked in my ear. so i kicked all the dogs out and she RATTLED MY DOOR AND HOWLED AGAIN ALLLLLLLLLLLLL MORNING!!! also she managed to soil two spots on the carpet near the stairs somehow, despite it only being less than four hours between trips outside. 

so i gave up trying to sleep before my alarm went off at 9. then i fed the dogs and let them outside and cleaned up the poop. then i went back in my room and internally cried for a good 15 minutes before i finally got in the shower. i was almost too tired to, but i did shave my legs and clip my nails and wash my hair and brush all of my teeth. i wanted so badly to go back to sleep but by then it was after 10 and i am trying not to take naps because i don’t like having obnoxious nightmares and also it messes up my sleep schedule.

i must have done things in the morning but i don’t really remember... i watched some youtube videos. i will stop eventually... 

i was really too tired to even think about dealing with anyone today so i didn’t look up local activities to try. poor wiley was hot and tired even indoors. 

i had my thai leftovers for lunch and caught on fire. someday i will learn. i think it burned so much it just made me completely forget about my usual stomach pain and nausea. after that i got out some dry dust wipes and cleaned out half the window blinds and the little tables by the couches. tomorrow i will do the other half. 

my head really hurts... i spent a while today going through some steam recommendations in preparation for the summer steam sale. i figure, the more games i find that i’d like, the more likely it will be that at least one of them will become affordable with my budget during the sale.

mom said we could go out for ice cream/frozen yogurt after dinner since my brother and i had done our chores almost every day the whole week. then she forgot! she agreed to do it tomorrow, but i don’t really believe her. maybe i will just kidnap my brother and drive us over to the frozen yogurt place.

ummm i don’t recall a lot between that and dinner. oh, i stole the bag of hershey’s chocolate and ate a few and then returned it saying “i desire no more chocolate.” 

and i had to sort through a bunch of old books looking for ones i wanted to keep. i found some pretty interesting ones! and i wanted to save my dream analysis book because i like it and should probably take another look at it. but i found some really REALLY dumb books my parents have bought over the years. “how to choose the sex of your baby!!!” the dreaded Puberty Book and A Whole Bunch Of Life/Relationship/Woman Advice From White Dudes I Dont Care About. also apparently we had like five variations of the chicken soup for the soul books but i only ever recall reading one. there was a story about a kid that died from like cancer (i think she wasn’t christian? it was chicken soup for the christian teenage soul so the narrator probably said she went to hell) and i cried really hard when i read it and didn’t pick up the books ever again after that. 

so i don’t know why there were five of them.

hahaha mom had over a dozen books on management efficiency that looked like she had gotten them when she was studying to be an accountant. and dad’s zillion books on history (mostly us history). he actually, like, had books that weren’t written by white dudes sometimes? so i don’t know how he turned out so racist. 

mom made spaghetti for dinner. it was fine. i buried it under a mountain of parmesan cheese. while we were eating mom mentioned we would be in hawaii for an extra three days after the rest of the family left. i just about dropped my head into the tomato sauce. but then i heard we would be hanging with my late aunt joyce’s daughter and her family! 

my brother asked who she was and mom said “oh, you know, my cousin. you’ve met her before.” and my brother said “ok who is she” and mom said “i could say something that will make you remember” and my brother said “ok who is she” and mom said “the one with the girlfriend.”

my brother made a disgusted face. “oh. why are we spending time with her.”

when he saw me he said “i don’t have a problem with stuff like that, i just find it strange.” 

and mom said “it’s very strange.” 

and i said “YOU’RE strange.” 

“everyone is strange,” my brother agreed. “but that’s really strange.”

“your hair is strange,” i interrupted.

dad made some asinine comment about how i tolerate any opinion. i said “no” and my brother was about to say something but i cut him off. “you’re sixteen, i don’t respect your opinion.” he thought that was pretty funny so that got us off the topic and instead arguing about how much of an old fart i am.

later when i was back upstairs i sent a message to asher. “fortunately, this has not changed my coming-out plans of ‘never.’”

when the sun went down i took wiley over to the mailbox. it was still too hot though and he didn’t even protest that much when we went back inside like 6 minutes later.

then i spent the evening watching a bunch of youtube videos! i finished the queue i had lined up instead of coloring the owls. probably gonna do that in the morning. i will pencil it into my schedule as a suggestion. i ran out of time tonight because i saw that folding ideas had finally uploaded another video. 

oh, and marisol came and picked up her dogs. she apologized for cleo being such a butt and i helped her load them and their supplies into the car. i think she had planned on paying me? but it didn’t feel right pressing about it while she was exhausted. and i don’t remember if she actually offered to pay me or what i might have said about not worrying about it. i do need the money... but it would be awkward to ask. wouldn’t it? but i can’t wait like a whole week. maybe i should talk about that with my therapist tomorrow.

because, like, i don’t really mind watching her dogs? but it was a huge time and energy investment for me and it did prevent me from working on/thinking about a bunch of stuff for therapy because i was so god dang tired. and it would feel weird at this point to do such a huge favor for literally nothing. yet again!!! 

i don’t even really feel greedy about it? at this point i recognize that letting people thank me for doing things, or letting them chip in for gas if i’m driving us somewhere or whatever, actually is more helpful to everyone than insisting on shouldering the whole cost. because it helps your guests feel less awkward and it does really relieve some of that pressure on the favor-doer. like, usually my friends (real friends at least) like to help out as much as i do! and i always feel kind of put out and nervous when they don’t let me help, like maybe they will call on the incident later in a bad light or that they are burning themselves out. so i don’t put them in that situation, just by accepting their offers.

but if they don’t make the offer and i still ask for compensation am i an asshole at that point? or is that an assertive thing to do?

i am going to call it a night just a little bit early tonight... i want that extra twenty minutes of potential sleep. or at least laying quietly in the dark not hearing any loud annoying noises. eve’s snoring is ok. she is not loud and annoying.

oh, one more thing. today i unfriended a couple people on facebook. i also found a few of my recent classmates and added them instead. i unfriended a couple villanova classmates that regularly tag craig in their posts... sometimes along with me. THANKS GUYS!!!!!!!!!!!

since by “not taking a side” at the time and essentially ignoring me when i started becoming a suicidal recluse as i realized no one liked me (at least, liked me more than they liked craig), i decided to circumvent the whole awkward conversation and just unfriend them instead of asking them to tag either me or craig, but not both, in their posts. because they’re just gonna tag craig anyway and just phase me out of their social media even more. 

because you know what? i don’t care about them either. i’m not interested in salvaging my friendship with people i haven’t seen in years and weren’t even really all that nice to me when i was in classes with them. 

sometimes you just gotta bail. and that’s ok. i’ve done it before many times. there isn’t really any point in hanging out with people who value their friendships with predators more than they value the safety of their other friends. my social circle is smaller, but the lack of actual predatory men who have actually violated other people (sometimes, but not always, me) is worth it.

i feel like that’s something i am having trouble getting my therapist to understand. and every time i try to bring up examples to show the rationale behind my decisions and habits, she tells me i’m living in the past and need to let it go. 

ok, yeah, i should probably let it go sometimes. and also, not just live moment to moment without considering how people have acted in the past when making decisions in the present! because that’s what learning is!!!

i can’t figure out a good note to end this on. when i think i’ve come to a conclusion i find that i have more words to spew out on the page. so i will go to bed now. i hope you are doing ok.

[beochanpaiseanagustaifeala]

💖”Star🌠Gazing”💖 Part 1 (FEAT. Lalasa Patel-Slithers, The Cartoon Network and many more!)

Happy Valentine’s Day!

🌠

Lalasa’s POV

How I love to stroll in the woods during nights like this~ the sun is setting, the moon is rising and for some reason I’m really hungry; good thing I got myself some perfectly healthy trail mix...let’s see: marshmallow, potato chip, cheddar cracker, pizza roll, sugary cereal, loads and loads of chocolate, ect. so much to choose from, my freaking God! X’DDD But suddenly, I spotted Harvey and lil’ Buhdeuce (SwaySway’s baby bro) getting chased by none other than those Greaser Dogs~ better save those boy’s lives; I jumped into action and punched the top dog, Cliff, square in the face.

“Don’t you know it’s impolite for a little lady like you to fight dirty?” He laughed, with Shriek giving him a dark look in response.

“At least I’m not a clown dressed in leather desperately trying to relive my glory days, I thought you dinosaurs where dead.” I replied in a deadpan tone.

“Gee, I don’t look like a dinosaur...” said a confused-as-usual Lube, itching his head. 

“In that case, these dinosaurs are gonna stomp you in the mud!” said Shriek, shaking her fist at me.

“Good idea, cookie, let’s get her!”

Cliff roared as the three where about to lynch me until I activated my powers and flamed both of them IRL and literally, making the three geezers (I think) screaming and running into the lake to cool off. 

“Thanks, Lolly!” Harvey and Buhdeuce cheered as they hugged my legs since they’re pretty short.

“It was nothing, really, I do enjoy kicking me some butt.” I chuckled, petting their heads; “Stay outta danger, ‘k?”

They saluted: “Yes, m’am!” and left to go do their own business.

After that little scrap, I took a break from walking and lied down on the soft, green grass to stair up above at the sky and listened to the sound of a happy mother bird and her hatching chicks; speaking of which, I started to wonder about a missing detail in my life: “How was I born?” maybe I can look for some answers.....

🌠

Plucky’s POV

Another glorious day of trolling some poor, pitiful Nicktoon Authority and their lackey dogs, too; this time we hid woopie cushions with missile buttons under their seats in the meeting council~ looks like it’s gonna be weeks and weeks of repairing the dome for those saps so why not celebrate with a BBQ and a pageant?

The “pageant” was sweet-little Bubbles singing a ballad of how my aunt Melissa defeated the cruel ruler of the Nicktoon’s old country and started our grand organization...and would you believe, after all these years, they've still been trying to make us disband and have the last of the Looney Tunes come crawling back to ‘em? those dinks! too bad for them, because no matter what kind of blackmail and butchery they threaten us with, we’ll always bite back! aye, if only ol’ Jack (the III?) was gonna see this but I think he transferred to our sister rebellion group, which is cool since there’s a robot and a crazy scientist in that group.

“It’s showtime, big guy!” Amethyst, my trusty second-in-command, called out while holding a huge hot dog right off from the grill.

“I’ll be there in a second, bonnie-love!” I called out, grinning like a chump while putting on my best robes and hat in which made me feel like a pirate.

But a tragedy struck upon dear Bubbles 5 minutes into her performance: an arrow from nowhere was flung her to the back of her head with an orange flag with a white “N” waving in the air; “Did they kill her!?” we all shrieked in agony as we saw what might have been her final moment; a weeping Blossom replied “W-we’ll see what’s up...” as she and a frightened Buttercup crept up to her, but luckly, Bubbles was safe, sound and just got spooked because a plunger got stuck in her hair~ said-plunger got pulled off by Buttercup rather roughly as if a lock of Bubbles’ hair was ripped out of her, making her yelp; she turned around the flag and saw a note: “🎵”

“Yeah but turn it over, there’s a letter!” Blossom replied.

“You’re right~ and there’s a message from the Nicktoon Authority!”

Reading it out loud, it turned out that, in order to afford the pay for damages to the dome, they’ll steal our most prized possession, the Golden Anvil, so they could trade it for loads of cold hard cash and as you could see, none of us where pleased about losing our prized possession to those slime-drinkin’ chumps....unless....“Gather around, I got something to tell you all in private.” and with that, everyone huddled over as I whispered them my latest grand plan.

🌠

Lalasa’s POV

I came across the library, being taken care of by none other than an older resident hailing all the way from the mother country, Tommy Pickles; he ruled over the Nickelodeon area of In-Between and was with the other older Nicktoons since Day 1, maybe he had answers.

“Hey Lolly, how are you and the girls been doing lately?” he said with a warm, brotherly smile.

“Barb and Tricia have been doing good, as for me, I’ve been puzzled about something for a while....”

“And that is?”

“....Who brought me into this world?”

At first, he looked a bit shocked, his face seemed a bit more solemn and serious than usual, but he also at least trying to smile; “Oh, Lalasa....” he walked up to me, patting me on the back, following with: “You see, it’s.....complicated and.....and.....let me tell you a little story, get cozy just in case, because it’s pretty long.” We sat down together on a nice bench by some books, propped ourselves up and so he began to tell me the tale of my origins.....

💖

Tommy’s POV/Story (Although the one he tells Lalasa is much less overly-detailed)

It all started when me, Helga Pataki (or as I liked to call her, Brawn Helga) and two really hyper orphans, Fabian and ChiChi where running one of the ships that carried out Beo’s and young Beochan who where waiting to be knighted as official Nicktoons and to be honest, I was enjoying it the most: the salty sea-air, the wind in my face, the gentle blue waves crashing against the bottom of the ship and the seagulls pecking at Helga’s head made my day, why I felt like I was king of the world.

“Hey, Pickles! the two monkey boys are at it again, get after them you lazy bones!” Angel-I mean, Helga bellowed at me in all her grouchy glory.

“What did the scamps do this time?” I said, hoping to God they didn’t get into my baby photos again.

“They’re annoying with one of the passengers, now get out there and find the masked brats before I do and handle them by myself with a belt, kapeesh?”

“G-got it, Captain!”

I scurried for the whereabouts of the two troublesome boys and finally found them jumping around in one of the Beochan’s chamber and messing around with his things.

“Please give that back to me, it’s private!” Said the taller, older-looking boy, trying to retrieve a box from ChiChi in grabby hands mode as Fabian was running wild just like Sheen back in the day.

“Alright, kids, time to leave the guy alone now come with me.” I said in a calm tone, picking the boys up by the backs of their shirts.

“Yes, Tommy-sama.”

“That’s my boys, now stay outta trouble, otherwise Helga’s gonna put all three of us in the soup.”

“Okay.” the two glumly replied as ChiChi gave the box to me just before both of them scampered off, leaving me and the preteen boy alone in the room.

“I believe this belongs to you, kid?”

“Gee, t-thank you...”

“You’re one of the new kids sailing to In-Between or maybe the Mother Land?” I asked the shy, sensitive-looking boy.

“Y-yes, I don’t know where the ceremony will be taking place this year though...”

“Me neither, join the club~ anywho, the name is Tommy Pickles, I’m one of the original Nicktoons, my cousin rules the Mother Land....and you are?”

“Sanjay Patel, I’ve always been a fan of old Nicktoon history...I’m very happy to be meeting one of the people who started it all today.”

“Thanks.”

Just then, Brawn Helga came into the room, having a discussion with a slightly older-looking beochan with hair similar to Sanjay’s, but also with green skin too; “Alright boy, this is where you’ll be sharing a room with one of the other beochan here, got it?” she sternly said, looking the boy in the eyes before putting him into the room before mumbling: “And no monkey business, got it?”

He replied, “Yeah yeah, I got you.”

“I just met your roommate Sanjay and he really is a sweet kid.” I said warmly, introducing him to Sanjay, who waved gracefully to him.

“Last name’s Slithers, first name’s Crai-” he tripped and fell on a toy-thing that fell out of either Fabian or ChiChi’s pockets and crashed on to Sanjay, leading both of them squished like pancakes.

“Heheh....I’ll get both of you off the floor.” I said, picking Craig up from the floor as he looked dazed and confused~ on the flip side, Sanjay was grinning like a fool, had swirly cheeks and blank eyes (Hachune face).

Later that night, when we dined the night before we reached...wherever the Nicktoons where going to be crowned, we had a banquet as a pre-welcome party and everyone and their mother was pigging out....okay I was stretching it a bit, only two Nicktoon mothers where on that ship at the time but we all had fun, heck, even Helga was having a good time! I even spotted the two bunk mates, Sanjay and Craig, dishing out some food.

“Aw man, there’s only one hot wing left, bummer...” Craig muttered.

Sanjay, looking down at the (boneless) buffalo wing, suggested: “I’ll let you have it.”

“Don’t you want it? I’d hate to be selfish.” asked the green skinned boy.

“...We can split it then.” The shorter one replied with a sweet smile.

“Deal!”

“You stole the last hot wing, eh?” asked a thuggish Nicktoon, who happened to be a big, buff, punkish-looking robot I hear was known as “Crikey”.

“Aw buzz off, I thought you liked bacon in your homeland!” Craig hissed at the stranger.

“Bring it on, kid.”

Craig grew fangs, had his eyes glow bright red and slowly morphed into a snake that lunged at Crikey, trying to strangle him as the latter was punching him; this lead to the other passengers (myself included) getting hyped up and rowdy on the ship and cheering for a fight, unfortunately, most of us got rowdy and joined in by fighting each other, albeit in a more friendly way but as we got louder and more dangerous, Helga’s good mood faded away and she marched out of the control panel and started scolding virtually everyone for the mess they made~ later on, a fraction of the passengers where put in security as I, along with ChiChi and Fabian where punished by having to clean up the whole ship, plus the mess hall, the ballroom and the security room.

“Make sure the floor is clean enough so I can eat off of it, punks!” she nagged.

“I rather would have gotten fired” I muttered in my head; luckly, my whole night wasn’t ruined, as I did see a really sweet moment when Sanjay came inside to visit Craig, who was punished along with the mischievous passengers who helped out in the chaos.

“Hey Craig, I’m sorry you got locked up in here for the night....maybe I can stay with you until you’re freed.” said Sanjay with a large amount of understandable sympathy since the cell looked like a serious drag.

“Sure, kid.” Craig nodded with a weak smile.

Sanjay sat down and showed him a comic book to cheer him up, it was none other than my absolute favorite one.....

“Aw sweet, I haven’t read KaBlam! in years.” said Craig.

 “W-where did you get it!?” I couldn’t help but ask Sanjay as I was geeking out of nostalgia.

“I bought it at a thrift store.” Sanjay smiled; “I always wanted to meet another fan of the KaBlam! comics.”

“Cooooool.”

So we spend the rest of the night laughing away at all the funny stories of aliens, sentient action figures, a little girl who was a total weirdness magnet and of course, the antics of June and Henry, it was like I was a little kid again; who knew a pair of millennials where into that stuff? after that, Sanjay couldn’t help but sneak into the cell and sleep by Craig’s side, with a sleeping bag, he nestled himself up near Craig’s steel bed, after all, they where roommates~ Finally, when me and the little ones were finished with the work, we finally went to our rooms and slept like rocks, thank God too because all that mopping was seriously killing me.

What a day that was, new Nicktoons where ready to join our community, I got to get whisked away along with everyone else to a paradise on the sea, ate all the food I could stuff in my face, joined in on a crazy fight and it seemed that for two of the newbies, it was the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

🌠To be continued....💖

[cosmosogler]

hi guys. today cleo woke me up before 5 am. 

i had fallen asleep sometime after 1 so i was Not Happy. mom asked me what i  was doing up and i don’t remember if i actually responded or not. i let the dogs outside. wiley was a hassle to get back inside because it was kind of nice out. then as soon as i closed the door behind me and turned around diogi wanted to go outside, because she hadn’t wanted to go outside ten minutes previously. by the time i herded her over to the grass and blocked her off from wandering around the pool the sun was up. 

i went back to sleep even though my body was awake. i think i had craig dreams but they only made me mildly angry. i was mostly frustrated with the people around him. which has been happening in those dreams the last few times i’ve had them over the last, like, year and a half. 

then cleo woke me up by shrieking at 8, and also my alarm went off for some ungodly reason. i booted everyone else out of my bed and out of my room and closed the door. then cleo spent the next literal hour rattling my door and howling. i didn’t want to hurt her or anything, but i did want to cry. by the time she went downstairs to wake someone else up my alarm went off again. i slept in an extra 45 minutes despite the rattling starting up again sometime in the last 15 minutes of my “nap.” 

i was really too tired to do much today. i caught up on some comics, i watched a lot of not-video-game youtube videos, and i started looking up some resources for group-based activities around town. there was something that looked really cool that meets next tuesday... i think it’s all day, or in the evening, so it won’t conflict with therapy.

i had more pesto leftovers with mom. this time i let her start eating way before me so by the time i sat down her concert of disgusting vomit-inducing mouth noises was almost finished. in hell everyone communicates by chewing with their mouths open. the lip-smacking asmr videos make me want to scream and throw my computer.

i don’t actually, like, go and listen to them or anything. but it’s come up before.

sleep deprivation for this many nights in a row (5 i think? 6?) has reduced my patience level to approximately absolute zero. i was having trouble sleeping all year but the last week has been... something special.

i washed my siblings’ bed sheets today instead of dusting. mom wants me to wash all of the sheets every week. i don’t know if that’s really the most efficient use of our water, considering every advice site i’ve looked at has said something along the lines of “washing your sheets every two weeks is great, but once a month or so is also good.” 

maybe there’s no drawbacks to washing your sheets that often. i just don’t know how fast they wear out.

this is bad, but despite telling oz i was too tired to watch a movie, i sat and watched a really long critique of the bbc sherlock show in the late afternoon. i guess part of it was watching something that long by myself i didn’t have to also talk to anyone... 

about halfway through i paused to greet my brother and father as they had returned from their mud run, feed the dogs, and get some thai food with mom. i think i hurt myself trying to eat food that was too spicy... i felt really sick afterward and my stomach is still kind of grouchy with me. even though i am also hungry again because i wasn’t actually full when i stopped eating, i just couldn’t deal with my nerves disintegrating any more.

i keep getting spicy food hoping i’ll develop a better tolerance. i’ve got enough of one to tell different kinds of spices apart and appreciate different “flavors” of “OH GOD WHY IT’S SO HOT IT HURTS” and not get that sick. but the legendary Thai Hot seems to be forever out of my range. Double Thai Hot exists only in rumors. i saw jay get Double Thai Hot once. he caught on fire. and also cried.

i really love the soups that this place makes, but mom doesn’t like the very unique flavors so we didn’t get any. i wouldn’t have ordered the most spice that the cook is willing to give white people if we had gotten soup haha...

ehh, i boxed the leftovers for later. it’s not as good reheated, but i have a strong need for pahd thai and one sitting isn’t going to satisfy me.

oh yeah! around lunchtime i went out and blasted the dogs with the hose. i didn’t brush them afterward because there are five dogs and i didn’t want anyone to get sat on trying to get my brush’s attention. i didn’t take anyone to the mail box today though because it was over 100 even after the sun went down. even i didn’t want to walk the 2 minutes over to the mailbox.

and i maybe figured out what i’m gonna do with that gold bottle cap. i’m gonna slap it on a shiny magikarp and ship him off on the wonder trade. since it has a... less helpful nature (but not as bad as the other two) and no good ivs it will benefit the most from a gold bottle cap, which boosts all your stats to the maximum. all of the pokemon i am hyper training only need half their stats boosted. it’s not too hard to get 3 regular bottle caps, it just takes a while, especially if i am not using the fishing hole because i can’t be bothered to split my attention between film theory and watching my 3ds screen for a 1-second alert that i have to react to.

tomorrow... i gotta email my apartment complex or see if i can find the bed size myself so we can do the new sheets and stuff. and i gotta contact my relatives about my graduation party near the end of july. i think it’s the 23rd. and maybe i will check out one of the social activities available this side of town if i can find one that meets on sundays and is also interesting and/or small enough that it won’t be overwhelming. i would also like to maybe finish the owl picture since i have not worked on that in basically a whole week. and i gotta get this grody nail polish off my fingernails. it can stay on my toenails though because it still looks nice and is also maybe hiding a crack from when i accidentally stomped on my own toes while walking wiley.

it’s kind of weird but i make a very specific series of noises when i am hurt. i think being angry and then disappointed helps me get over the fact that it hurts a little more quickly. like when eve or diogi step on me with their claws, or when i bang my shin against a corner, or when i step on my toes and crack the nail. or burn my hands because the sink water is extremely hot for some reason.

i think... maybe tomorrow i will also try to do one thing from my to-do jar for the first time in over a week. i’ve done most of the major dusting so i will probably only need to devote about 5 minutes to that tomorrow. or maybe i could wipe down the window shades since the duster doesn’t do anything but kick up the dirt.

oh, also marisol is getting back in tomorrow evening so i can finally return her angle and hre devil. whiskey is a good boy. he likes to be picked up and cuddled with, and he is also the size of a small floppy pillow. and also he doesn’t SCREAM AT 4:30 IN THE MORNING WHICH IS A GREAT PERK!!!

it’s about 10 minutes early, but i think i am going to stop soon and get ready for bed. maybe i should take the dogs outside so cleo will wake me up at 6 instead of before 5.

one thing that just occurred to me is that i didn’t feel as depressed today. i mean yeah i felt extremely lethargic and nauseous and i had a headache for literally the whole day no matter how much water i drank. but i also just didn’t put much time into thinking about how bad i feel. i think that is about as good as it gets for me. i don’t know if that’s healthy or not though. since it might just be holding them in instead of dealing with them? i can’t tell if i am avoiding my bad feelings or successfully coping with them. tomorrow i might make some oatmeal cookies... our mixes and doughs are starting to creep up to their expiration dates. asher is getting back in about a week, so i will bake the snickerdoodles around that time. i will have to check for nuts in the mix though. like “this product was made in a facility that also processes nuts” or whatever.

i think maybe trying to jump back on the “doing things” wagon will help me go forward again. and maybe find a goal, since my first one of “learn better cognitive skills to deal with incoming anxiety” got smashed with the whole “you’re not working hard to get better” thing. i guess doing things isn’t working hard. but it keeps me in a better mood than not doing things.

i have ranked my goals in order from “short-term” to “realistically attainable at some point in the future when broken into smaller steps” to “life goals” to “optional bonus round.” well, i don’t really have a lot of goals to put into any of those categories, but i feel that it will be a useful ladder to use if i do find some goals to have. maybe that will help me draw a picture of “who i want to be” which will give me some kind of vague idea of what i should look like in the future? what philosophies are important to me? how do i want to treat other people? what do i think about these and these issues and what am i going to do about them? 

i will try not to overwhelm myself right away and just kind of pick things up as i walk by them for now. and i will keep doing a few stretches during the day. 

maybe, starting on monday or tuesday, i will put some time into trying to feel invested in my writing again. i still remember where a lot of “following that train of thought” needs to happen. after i get everything down for real this time i can start cutting unnecessary things out and making an actual next draft. that’s always the REALLY hard part for me. 

i think i could do that on tuesday. ask for some input from my therapist in specifically feeling more interested in things i create.

ok, now it is just after 12:25. i have now made full use of my allotted journal time and i feel like i maybe got somewhere with it which is nice. now i just gotta pick up all these beans and play the lottery.