#go to any senate hearing and watch the interactions and you’ll be like yeah this is all homoerotic

[lady-raziel]

I think the overall dynamics of the US House of Representatives can be summed up as “middle school cafeteria at lunchtime the week before the Homecoming dance,” while the US Senate can be explained as “two warring frat houses that still frequently meet for passionate orgies.”

[ghastily]

✎ — Gravity (1/??)

➥   Wolfpack x Reader | 4101 | Ao3

Life is hard, sometimes it rewards you with three boyfriends for your efforts.

notes: I don't care if that's not how the garbage launcher works, I'm shooting trash out a cannon.

CoCo Town wasn’t exactly what you would call high class. It actually fell somewhere in the middle, catering more toward the people who did the menial jobs on the upper levels. It’s a place for good, hard-working people who didn’t make that many credits but had just enough to get out of living in the lower levels.

Your life wasn’t glamorous but you couldn’t complain. You had a decent job washing dishes at Dex’s Diner, a roof over your head, and food in your belly. And sometimes you didn’t even notice the smell of garbage piling up around the district.

“…tragically 50 people have lost their lives due to a malfunctioning garbage launcher,” The woman on the holonews announced as you watched, chewing on a piece of slightly burnt toast. There has to be a better way than launching trash out of the district. You don’t even know where they are shooting it.

Hopefully at the senate building.

You clean up the remains of breakfast and turn off the news, making sure to switch the buckets from a leak under the sink before heading back to your room to prepare for another day at the grindstone. Maybe this weekend you’ll look up a video on the holonet so you could fix the damn leak yourself. The landlord definitely wasn’t going to. It would be cheaper too. Probably. You hope it will be anyway.

One last check to make sure you’re presentable, you grab your bag and head out the door. The bright morning light reflecting off all the buildings causes you to flinch, it takes you a hot minute to get your eyes to adjust. You lock the door, giving it a quick jiggle double checking that it was indeed locked this time before you begin the trek to work.

That one time you didn’t check and came home to find your door unlocked was one of the most nerve wrecking nights of your life. You had combed the apartment, pot in hand, checking every corner for anyone who would’ve come in while you were at work. Sleep was hard that night since you were constantly waking up at every little sound.

Just a new thing on the long list of desperately needed repairs.

Despite it all, your job was actually something you looked forward to every day. You had hit it off wonderfully with the human waitress, Harmony, and quickly became close friends. Dex was sweet on you too and often let the two of you take home any left over food that didn't sell that day. It definitely helped with your grocery bills and kept your fridge full. And your waist line a little thick.

It was after the lunch rush that Harmony leans through the serving hatch, arms folded on the little counter.

“Hey, let’s hang out this weekend. We’ll go to 79’s? Watch some nuna-ball?”

You look over at her, a tiny smile tugging at the corner of your lips, “Really? Nuna-ball? You watch that?!”

Harmony grins, twirling a piece of her blonde hair around a long finger. “Nah, but I knew you’d say no if I said it was to check out the clones.”

And the truth comes out! You’d be lying if you weren’t curious about the clones as well. You’d seen the usual ones with red markings patrolling around before, but never without helmets.

“Harmony I had no idea you were into clones!” You tease, setting aside the plate you had been drying.

“I’m not! I think.” She squeaks, “Come on, don’t you want to see what they look like under all that gear? People watching and getting drunk! It’ll be fun.”

“Harmony!” You gasp in mock scandalized horror, a hand over your chest.

“Not like that!” The young woman slaps her hands against the counter. The good humor has you both smiling. It didn't sound so bad and you didn’t have anything else planned for the weekend. You sigh loudly, guess the do-it-yourself leak fix holovids could wait another week, “All right. Nuna-ball and drinks it is.”

The waitress let’s out a delighted ‘yes!’ and pumps her fist in the air.

Dex waddles into the room, carrying a box of ingredients from storage, “Just be careful heading home afterwards you two.”

You always were but for Dex to mention it made you and Harmony look at each in concern.

“One of usual customers mentioned there was another break out at the penitentiary,” He sighs. “Sorry for bringing the mood down but it hasn’t hit the news yet and from what I could get the prisoner is dangerous.”

It was nice having a boss who looked out for your well-being, he couldn’t give much but he gave you both, and the diner, his all. Sometimes you think of where you’d be today if you hadn't landed this job — if Dex hadn’t hauled you out of the gutter. You mentally shake away the dark thoughts. Not today.

Harmony shakes her head and smiles at Dex.

“It’s fine, boss. Thanks for letting us know!”

You nod in agreement, turning back to the sink and fishing up another plate to scrub. “Yeah! But let’s get to it! This diner won’t run itself!”

“Ain’t that my line?!” Dex chuckles, saddling up to his station where he begins to prepare ingredients for the dinner rush. You watch him for a moment, glancing over at the serving window when Harmony ducks back into the dining room to greet a customer with a cheery ‘welcome!’.

Dex flicks a Bith bean at you with a wide grin, “Get back to work!”

Yeah, life wasn’t that bad.

The weekend came sooner than you expected and you find yourself shivering and alone outside of 79’s waiting for Harmony to show up. Checking your comlink for the millionth time you sigh, finally giving up and call her. After a few moments, the young woman finally answers and .. She doesn’t sound too hot.

“Hey.. I’m sorry, I was asleep all day..” Harmony croaks causing you to flinch in sympathy. Poor thing, if she sounded that bad you couldn't hold it against her for not calling to cancel on you sooner.

“You sound like shit, maybe I should come over..” You tug your jacket tighter around your body.

“Nooo,” She whines softly, “You’ll get sick too. Party on in my honor.”

You hold the comlink away from your face when she breaks into a coughing fit, as if she would spread whatever she had to you through the device. Sighing, you bring it back and look back at the bar, “All right. I’ll try my best for you, just get some sleep and feel better soon, ok?”

Harmony makes a soft noise of confirmation and the two of you end the call. You'll have to see if you can get a droid to bring her some soup and medicine later. You stuff the comlink back into your pocket and head into the bar.

The music is deep and thumping, it feels like your whole body is vibrating with the beat. It’s different and you’re a little nervous without Harmony here. She was way more confident than you were in new places — that’s why she worked the front and you were in the back washing dishes. Looking around you spot an open booth, taking a deep breath you make a beeline for It dodging around dancing bar goers.

You slide into one of the circular booths along the wall, unsure of what to do next. There's no menu on the table, and a droid hasn't zoomed over to greet you yet. The crowd around the bar means you'd probably have to go over and order there. You rub your palms nervously against your thighs. You’ll go over later when it thins out a bit. Who needs drinks when you're people watching. Not you. Nope.

Another deep breath and your gaze wanders over to the people gathered on the second floor of the bar. There really are a lot of clones here. Huh.

“Hey, someone took our booth! I told you to stay there so we wouldn’t lose it!”

Your eyes go wide and a small prick of panic shoots through you and look over at the sound of the voice. Stars, you really hope they weren’t looking for a confrontation. The two clones standing at the edge of the table grin at you, brandishing drinks in both hands.

“Sorry, I can get up.” You start scooting out but one of them stops you.

“Woah, hey! Don’t get up,” The clone has two massive scars on his face, and his hair shaved into two red stripes. He places the drinks he was holding down on the table in front of you, “Looks like you could use this. I’m Boost by the way,” He jerks his head to the side, “That’s Sinker.”

There’s an awkward silence then. They’re waiting perhaps for you to introduce yourself.

You don’t.

You’re too busy staring at them as your brain tries to process how human interaction goes again.

“Uh,” Sinker nudges Boost with his shoulder and a silent conversation seems to pass between the two men, “Mind if we join you? There’s no other open table. It's fine if not, Boost hasn’t had his bath yet so I won’t blame you.”

“Hey!” Boost pouts, “I took one as soon as we landed. We all did!”

You blink back into reality, offering an apologetic smile before shuffling further into the booth, giving them some room to sit down.. “Sorry. I don’t mind, uh, go right ahead.”

The look of pure joy on their faces makes you blush and a tiny smile tugs at the corner of your lips. Sure, they shared the same face but seeing just how happy they were — they were cute. The pair slide into the circular booth — on either side of you.

Okay, that was not what you had expected.

They're all charming smiles as they get comfortable, and you smile tightly back.

“So, we didn’t catch your name?” Sinker edges a shot glass closer toward you.

You squint at the glass suspiciously, trying to figure out what drink it is exactly. It’s purple and kind of sparkly. It honestly looks like a tiny liquefied galaxy. Dex doesn’t have this on the menu.

Boost chimes in, breaking you out of your scrutiny of the mysterious purple beverage, “I bet it’s something like Pierce, cause you’ve pierced my heart!”

He dramatically grasps at his chest with both hands, slumping over a bit so he’s closer to your side.

What.

Sinker rolls his eyes hard, “More like Bolt cause they’re bolting away after hearing that line.”

“That’s not—” You try to answer but your voice is drowned out by the pounding music and the bickering of the two clones. It’s all a little overwhelming if you're honest with yourself, your entire face feels like it’s on fire but you try your best to keep yourself together and calm. It’s not often you’re the center of attention, especially not from strangers. Harmony was always good at keeping the heat off you. That’s why you washed dishes and she dealt with customers.

You hope she’s doing okay.

Boost snaps his fingers and the sound brings you out of your thoughts. Right. People are talking to you. The red head looks smug, and all too pleased with himself as he reclines into the booth, stretching an arm over the back, “Okay, so it’s something cute .. like Wallflower! I bet it’s Wallflower.”

That’s not even a name!

Sinker shakes his head as he leans forward, folding his arms on the table. You glance over at him, and the butterflies in your stomach start a wild riot when he smiles at you. It's just your nerves, at least that’s what you tell yourself as you duck your head to avoid his gaze.

It has absolutely nothing with just how handsome he is.

“Mousy like the mouse droids.” Sinker’s voice is soft — soothing, “Hey, you look ready to go find somewhere to hide you doing okay?” Your eyes widen a fraction, looking over at Sinker. Had you been so easy to read? He smiles and bobs his head in a way that says he gets it. If you're that uncomfortable, he’s giving you an out.

“Y-yeah. I’m fine. I was suppose to meet a friend here, uh, for drinks. Which is what you do at bars, go drinking. But she couldn’t make it, so I’m trying to make the most of it.” Your voice trails off at the end, reaching for the shot glass in front of you and downing it in one go. It’s stronger than you expected and the alcohol makes your whole body shudder. There's a weird sparky sensation in your mouth too, what even is this drink.

This is probably not your best decision tonight.

Boost laughs at whatever expression you’re making, and takes the empty glass before sliding another one over. This one is red instead of purple. “Then let’s party in honor of your friend, Mousy!”

Kjshdkajhd!!

You down the next glass resigning yourself to the fate that your name is now Mousy and this was your life.

The next day you wake up to a massive headache, it feels a lot like someone’s banging around in your head with a hammer, and what is easily the worst hangover of your life. The last time you got that drunk was when you were a teenager and a friend got their hands on some cheap booze. Sighing, you stick a hand out from under the covers and blindly feel around for the button to shut off the alarm figuring that your clock going off was the source of your pain.

Nothing happens.

The banging continues.

You groan. There’s medicine in the kitchen, but that means you’ll have to get up and that really doesn't sound like a good idea. So you stay curled up under the sheets until you can’t take it anymore. It’s a struggle but somehow you manage to disentangle yourself from the sheets, and roll out of bed. You give the world a moment to stop spinning before getting to your feet and heading down the hallway, leaning heavily on the wall for support.

The sound of snoring and something moving in your little kitchenette makes you stop in your tracks, and suddenly that hangover is gone. You start to panic because, as far as you were aware, you lived alone. You go from disoriented sloth to one with the Force in two seconds flat.

Half a second if you weren't hungover.

A million scenarios run through your head on how horribly this will end for you as you peek around the corner into the main room, only to spot the familiar white armor of a clone trooper bumbling around in the kitchen.

The snoring is louder now, a cursory glance over the rest of the open room, and you pinpoint the noise as coming from another clone with familiar red hair that’s passed out on your couch. There was no way you were forgetting that haircut.

Oh.

Stinker and Booster.

It takes a hot minute for your brain to recall the events of last night — what it could remember anyway. You vaguely recall that they had been concerned about how drunk you were, and that they insisted on escorting you home. You don’t remember much else after that, or ever getting home and into bed. You’re still in your clothes from last night so at least drinking was all you did and not something scandalous with two troopers.

That’d just be stupid, that would never happen. Pffft.

It would have been kind of hot though. Harmony would’ve been proud of you.

“H-Hey,” You keep your voice low, and inch slowly into the room and in the direction of the kitchenette. The hangover starts to make itself known again now that you’ve determined your life wasn’t in any immediate danger. Sinker looks up, twirling a hydrospanner around in his hand.

“Oh, hey. Sorry, did I wake you?” He smiles, bashfully gesturing to the leak that's been haunting your dreams for weeks now, “The dripping was driving me nuts. Hope that's okay..?”

It’s more than okay. It’s on your knee and ready to propose okay.

“Yeah, no, help yourself,” You shuffle into the kitchen, fishing from painkillers out of a drawer and mumbling, “There’s plenty more things around here you can fix if you're offering.”

Sinker leans back against the counter, watching you get a glass of water to wash the pills down. “Just point me at ‘em. And as payment—”

You nearly choke on the water, right, people get paid for their work usually. Credits were something you didn’t have a lot of but maybe Sinker would be cheaper than hiring an actual mechanic to come fix everything. Or fix any further damage you’d cause from trying to fix it yourself.

He chuckles, and pats you on the back.

“Easy there. Instead of credits, how about dinner?”

You stare at him in confusion, wondering if you really heard him right. Dinner? That was all he wanted for fixing things in your crappy apartment? Apparently, you take too long to answer as Sinker starts to look uneasy from your silence, “Uh, forget I said anything—”

“No!” You practically shout, grabbing hold of his arm with both hands as if Sinker was going to disappear on the spot if he finished what he was saying. The sudden outburst catches the white-haired trooper by surprise and he freezes, “No, I mean, yeah? That sounds fine! I can make dinner if you’re willing to um.. Eat.. My cooking.”

Smooth.

Sinker nods with a soft ‘mhm’, and looks down at where you were holding onto his arm then back at you. The faint red that begins to color his cheeks make your heart beat a little faster. Neither of you move and instead just stare at each other. You didn’t want to get too hopeful but maybe there was something here. Something mutual.

“S’mn’ne say food..?”

The two of you jump apart and look toward the living area where Boost is stretching on the couch. The other trooper rubs both hands over his head, looking around the room with bleary eyes. You take a deep breath, sheesh, you feel like a little kid getting caught red-handed doing something you weren't suppose to.

“Yeah, you’re making it di’kut!” Sinker smirks at Boost’s pouting, playfully bumping you with his shoulder. That weirdly intense energy that was building between you two dissipates. When you look at him, he winks and heat blossoms across your cheeks.

Wait until Harmony hears about this.

Sinker and Boost settle comfortably into your life after that night, spending any free time they had at your place just simply being domestic. Affection flowed freely, mostly aimed at you, Sinker was subtle, shy touches and chaste kisses, while Boost was more expressive. He’d grab you up in tight hugs, and always touching you in some way. It was nice and you found you didn't mind it in the least.

All of your appliances and pipes were like brand new now thanks to Sinker’s handiwork, and Boost even found whatever was stinking up the refresher. All they asked for in return was a home cooked meal, which you were all too happy provide.

You weren't that great at cooking but you picked up a few tricks from watching Dex at work, thankfully the guys didn’t seem to mind at all. In fact, they loved it. It really made you wonder what kind of food they were eating while away. You were seriously considering packing them lunches.

Harmony thought it was adorable.

“I am so disappointed that I was sick that night!” She whines, leaning through the service window while you finish up the last of the dishes from the morning rush. “Really, you didn’t miss much. We got drunk and went to sleep, the end.” You laugh.

“Nuh uh, you went to sleep and woke up with two boyfriends.”

Things did move fast but no one really discussed what exactly was happening between the three of you. You just knew that you liked them, they liked you, and that was good enough. “I-I don’t think it’s that serious..”

“What's not serious?”

The sudden voice cutting into the conversation startles the two of you. Harmony squeaks, and you nearly drop the dish you had just cleaned. Standing in the doorway that leads to the back alley is Boost, grasping a take out box in one hand and his helmet in the other, and looking adorably curious.

You carefully set the plate down on the pile of other clean dishes, reaching back to untie your apron, “Hey Boost. I’ll be right with you.”

“I’ll let Dex know you’re on lunch break.” Harmony looks at you with a knowing smirk. The petulant child in you rises up and you stick your tongue out at her as you go over to Boost, ushering him back outside and shutting the door behind you.

Away from prying eyes, you lean in and press a kiss to the corner of his lips. It’s become a familiar show of affection, one that you've repeated several times now with both him and Sinker. Each and every time their face lights up in joy and their cheeks turn a deep red.

“Brought you some lunch,” Boost offers you the box of food, which you take gratefully before heading over, and taking a seat on the bench that you and Harmony usually sat on during lunch breaks. Stinky trash weather permitting. You make yourself comfortable against his side, opening the box and settling it across your lap.

“Thanks! Oohh.. Looks yummy,” You wiggle in excitement, reaching in for a protato wedge. Just as you bring it to your mouth Boost leans in, eating it right from your hand.

You gasp, “You jerk! That was mine.”

He chuckles around a mouthful of your precious lunch. The nerve!

“Got to pay your taxes, Mousy.” Boost waggles his brows at you, and oh if he wasn’t so cute you’d smack him. But fine, two can play that game. You look at him through your lashes, putting on your best innocent act, “If you wanted me to feed you, Boost.. All you had to do was ask.”

He sputters and coughs, face turning as red as his hair.

You take out another protato wedge and wave it in front of his mouth, “Say ‘ahh’.”

Boost hesitates, flustered and unsure at first. You can practically see the gears in his head turning as he debates whether he should give in or not. Much to your delight, he opens his mouth and leans a little closer. But the food takes a detour and you stick it in your mouth instead with a smug grin, “Mm! So good!”

The trooper looks positively offended, “I knew it! Augh!”

You laugh, and Boost crosses his arms over his chest pouting. It did make you feel a little bad though, with a little coaxing you get him to open his mouth again, and this time let him eat the protato wedge. You eat the rest of the meal, pausing occasionally to feed Boost. The conversation is light, revolving around how your respective days have been thus far and all too soon, you're done eating and lunch break is over.

“Oh yeah, Sinker’s going to be late for dinner.”

You nod in understanding, that’s all he needs to say. They’re soldiers, and duty comes first and foremost. “All right, I’ll keep a plate warm for him then.”

Boost smiles, and you notice that some of the worry on his face disappears. Something was bothering him, you’d notice it earlier but if he wasn't ready or able to talk about it — you wouldn't push. So you settle for the next best thing; reaching up to cup his jaw in your palms and press your lips to his.

The kiss is soft and slow, you try to convey your feelings to him through it. To reassure him. Boost just melts into it, dropping his helmet on the ground with a clatter so he can wrap both arms around your waist, pulling your body as close to his as humanly possible. The hard edges of his gear dig uncomfortably into you but you'll live cause this felt good.

“I’ll see you at home,” You voice is low and breathy when you break apart for air. Boost affectionately bumps his forehead against yours, lips curling up in a smile. “Yeah. See you then.”

[hesflyingonbrokenwings]

Dearest V,

it's been almost one year since we last spoke, so I guess our lives might have changed a bit since then...

I hope you've had a peaceful holiday season with your family – speaking of whom, the warmest of greetings and best of wishes to them – may your parents and your cat have a wonderful and healthy start to this decade.

I went head-first into last year thinking I'd see greater changes by the end of it, but, as Oli put it quite concisely, "then I found out how hard it is to really change" – for example, I had quit smoking weed in summer and started to enjoy life free from it, only to start toking again three months later when my mental wellbeing started spiralling downwards again... in the end I have to admit that while I may have felt like I could make a meaningful change in my life, I'm still sitting around trying to find out of my depressive ways, and I'm growing more and more unsure by the day that going back to who I once was is an option at all... after all, people grow up, and I guess part of who we are is determined by our experiences... I should definitely try to seek professional help this year, so maybe over time I'll be able to create the version of myself that I need to be so I can finally stop being down all the time. While that means I may not exactly be "past me", I sincerely hope you'll like whatever person I'm going to be then.

The years we've spent side by side have shaped me in a number of ways, some healthier and some unhealthier. On the upside, obviously, there's the hundreds of memories that we've shared and that I still like to look back on every once in a while (even though I'm slightly concerned about how many of those involve weed and / or booze), the music you've introduced me to (I still enjoy your Spotify mix every now and then) and so on. What's probably more on the unhealthy side of things and might sound a bit crazy is that, interestingly enough, I still sometimes feel like you're watching my every move, judging every single thing I'm doing, and it's driving me nuts. I don't know the exact reason and it confuses me... on the one hand it's kind of annoying and a bit restrictive, and on the other hand I just want to figure out where exactly that comes from. I guess part of it is because of what I've experienced over the past years, the numerous occasions on which you've trash talked the time I've spent in relationships with other people to feel better about yourself. Then again, maybe part of me just wants you to still care, when the rational part in me reckons you probably you don't care about me anymore – I mean, why would you, you can do so much better. I don't think I'll find answers for now, more stuff to discuss with a therapist once I've found one, I guess. Then again, maybe it'll help me make saner decisions for the moment, I don't know. What I do know, though, is that I'm done with this whole trash-talking business, that is, if we start talking again, please just let me decide for myself what to make of my past... I hope this didn't sound too harsh, it's just something I might've left unsaid for too long. Oh well, and speaking of long-lasting impact, then there's like hundreds of things that still evoke your memory anyway, whether that's any mention of anything related to law school, or the former capital, or still wearing the things you gave me, or, oh yeah, living in the same flipping part of town. Also reminds me, I still haven't touched the new BoJack episodes or the Chris-chan documentary yet... watching TheOdd1sOut's Sooubway part 4 without you feld weird enough, somehow. I guess it goes without saying that there has hardly been a day this year that I haven't thought of you at least in some way, mostly thinking about how awkward it would be to run into each other on the streets, whether we'd exchange words and what the hell I'd have to say about how my life was going and what I've learned or accomplished and so on if that became the case. It obviously didn't, but I still spent some time thinking about what I'd have to say and it was interesting to observe how it changed over the year. I guess you were right about some things, first and foremost about how I should try to get myself up from the fucking ground first before attempting to build up anything in life.

That being said, there are two major milestones I've reached last year, and I hope you're at least a bit proud of me – I've used the spring semester to finally complete my mandatory internship, coding for a software company that was a pleasure to work for, and they offered to hire me as a working student right away and as a proper engineer once I finish uni. Anyway, since the office isn't exactly close to uni, I've decided for now to keep working at uni for two more years. They have been quite understanding and the offer to hire me again still stands. Since I could definitely see myself working in software development after uni, I have started working towards a proper computer science bachelor's degree which I'll pursue in parallel with my usual master's. And, what might surprise you even more, believe it or not, I've been smoke-free for more than 7 months now, and I'm making damn sure I'm not touching another cigarette or anything else containing nicotine again – fuck off, big tobacco! I almost also managed to finish my bachelor's degree, but my assigned thesis topic was so cryptic and far off from what I expected that I ended up not handing in anything at all... but I'm making sure to finish in a second attempt before the next semester starts, wish me luck!

Anyway, how's your 2019 been? Is everything alright at uni? Have you passed the bar yet, and how's your internship situation (been) going? Also, I've heard that the houseshare didn't work out (it really sucks to hear that), did you find another nice place to stay near uni and how do you like it? How's your bass journey coming along? I hope you're still having fun with the bass and I'd love to hear some of the riffs you've been rocking out to one day. (Speaking of rocking out – I don't know whether he told you, but Sebi and I have been trying to start a band for a while now. While we somehow procrastinated our way around it almost all year until recently, we've started jamming and recording voice memos, so who knows, maybe we'll have written some kick-ass tunes soon.)

Lest I forget, speaking of 2019... a very belated happy birthday! Whether or not to contact you for your birthday was a harder decision than you may think... in the end I decided to keep at a distance and not leave a message, I still hope you've had a great time (at least it probably won't have been a disappointment like the times I've been involved) so make damn sure to enjoy your remaining time at 22... because you know what Blink-182 has to say about them darned 23-year-olds.

Quick change of topic, politics is the same clusterfuck as always, isn't it? When the 12/12 general elections were announced, I was hoping so badly that Great Britain might be coming to its senses... and then the results were out, oh boy. Well, if this is what the Brits truly want, then good riddance, I guess... also, I hope the Americans won't make the same mistake this year but I'm not too sure about that... but at least the old fucker finally got impeached, about time. I know senate is likely to acquit him, but I don't want to think about that just now... for now, let's just stick with "they've finally got him."

Enough for now, I hope this note reaches you someday – if you feel like replying, just interact with this post, leave me a PM or so, you'll find a way. Just know that I still don't quite feel like I'm ready to take contact back to a normal level just yet, so it might take me the usual couple of weeks to reply in case there's anything you want me to reply to... until then I'll just go back to lurking in the shadows, trying to figure out my life while checking in on your Tumblr every once in a while to know you're okay. (Oh well, it's your Tumblr we're talking about, maybe "being okay" doesn't exactly cut it, but you get the gist.)

Best, L

[ladyjenise]

I wanna talk about the new star wars clips but without spoiling stuff for people

So I put it behind the cut...

Ok, now that you’re still with me, a lot of people are talking about the clips (shown at D23 on the weekend to attendees of a specific panel and then some of them this morning on GMA) and trying to analyze (as you do) what’s going on.

Based on these clips and the teaser from back... whenever we saw it (June?), I’m focusing mainly on what’s going on with Rey, which I think is what most people are doing. 

I don’t think showing a dark Rey (darth rey?) is the big reveal so much as they want us to wonder how the hell she gets that way. People appear to be in two camps: it’s actually Rey having fallen to the dark side, or it’s from a vision. I’m in the former camp and I’ll tell ya why. But first, why I don’t think it’s a vision:

I mean, not to knock people who do think it’s a vision. Perfectly cromulent explanation, really. It’s just that people think Rey can’t fall and come back in one movie and I’m kinda like eh about that since we’ve only really seen one person fall in a movie series and that was Anakin and he’s... special. I mean, so is Rey, but Anakin had a very specific path. It’s sorta like Rey’s but not the same. That and in Knights of the Old Republic it doesn’t take Bastila years to fall. Her fall is like, what, days? But the puzzle pieces were there for Bastila, just like they are for Rey. Anyway, I don’t want to trash on why I DON’T think it’s a vision. I’d rather discuss why I think it’s gonna happen in real time:

1.) Rey is a fucking ball of anger. I don’t like having to use the novelizations for support but I will - In the Last Jedi novelization, we get opinions of Rey from a few sources: Snoke, Luke, and the fish nuns. The fish nuns mostly think Rey is rude and destructive, Luke can’t believe how quickly she goes to the dark side, and Snoke recognizes that not only is she insanely powerful and possess a “towering will”, but that she’s filled with hatred (for him, to be fair, but still). 

2.) Rey is actually impatient. I know Rey likes to play up how patient she is, having waited for her family all that time, but there are other cases where she’s quite impatient. She gives up on Luke fairly quickly, rushes to see Kylo after one vision she misinterprets, bosses Finn around when he can’t correctly identify what are really specialty pieces of equipment. In the book Before the Awakening, Rey gets quickly irritated by the mere presence of other people helping her to repair her ship (to be fair they did later take it, but only because they wanted to leave Jakku sooooo...) The only people Rey seems to have infinite time for are her parents, and that’s because it’s her desperate need to have them with her and give her what she craves: love and affection. And the dark side is a quicker way to gain what we want, as yoda warns.

3.) Rey’s looking for parents/father figures. We know this because Kylo tells us so (and Rey). She doesn’t like to be told this, but it’s true. She imprinted on Han right away, and tried to with Luke. And before you go “why would she imprint on Palpatine???”, and I’ll say that Palpatine would probably appear to her in a way that she’d not immediately find threatening, perhaps. I mean, if he shows up looking like good ol’ Sheev Palpatine, senator from Naboo, that guy was the epitome of try-hard father figure. He’s also got a lot of experience on his resume for it thanks to his time with Maul and Anakin. He loves finding orphans and offering them all kinds of good shit.

4.) Rey’s been hearing voices telling her to burn things. I mean, not really, but she has heard voices in her head telling her shit, like to kill Kylo, etc. And this is usually when she’s tapping into her angry Rey dark side shit and going all Darth Maul on someone. She also seemed really concerned when she was trying to explain this to Luke. That “something’s inside me and now it’s awake” shit is coming to full fruition. 

5.) Rey has been trying to compartmentalizing her dark side shit for years. She tries to keep her emotions in check and that’s... not good. Like instead of just telling people “yeah I’m an orphan” she’s like “Oh no its cool my family loves me and just sold me to a guy in a junkyard who would sell me on again to skin traders if he got the right price”. It’s pretty fucked up. This sort of actually reminds me of loved ones who do this sometimes and it never ends well. All that stuff has to come out some time, and with Rey it’s probably going to come out all at once. Big badda boom.

So here’s what I think will happen:

1.) Rey will be in some darker place (mentally) due to her interactions with both Kylo and her Resistance family. Perhaps it will be them discovering her bond with Kylo and Kylo’s continued First Order shit that will simultaneously alienate her from both. It might happen quickly but still make sense in the movie, with time for her to fall and come back.

2.) Her fall will be accelerated by the influence of Palpatine. You better believe Rey is like catnip to a dude like that: angry orphan looking for love and acceptance? Palpatine is going to be all over that. Palpatine will probably offer to resurrect her parents or something. 

3.) Rey’s two outfits we’ve seen are white and black to contrast her false “purity” to her later fall. And when I say “purity” I mean “as a hero”, not sexually. I know when her white outfit came out, people were like “why?” and some people were pointing out it’s her visually trying to turn away from her past looks, where she was more grey than anything, and presenting this purer form to the outside world. And I gotta say those interpretations were probably spot-on. Her trying TOO hard to be pure and good will probably just push her further to fall, and fall hard under the expectations. And so what’s the opposite of white? Black!

4.) Rey’s fall will be quick, but also super temporary. You don’t really need to draw this out. You just need the scenes to get to the damn point. It also helps when you frame scenes from her perspective, as we’ve seen before. There’s no set length requirement to show such things happening, only that they are coded in a way that the audience understands what happened.

5.) Rey will be OK in the end. Rey’s not going to fall and then THE END. Come on. It’s Star Wars. She’ll be fine... mostly. But yeah, she won’t STAY dark, is what I’m saying. Luke had his moments where he could have gone dark forever, but didn’t. He never fell totally, but then again his childhood wasn’t as shitty as Rey’s. Anakin’s fall took years but he was also surrounded by like, what, 10000 jedi? It wasn’t until they were distracted by the Clone Wars and the Separatists and all the other shit Palpatine was throwing at them that Anakin fell. And then it took another three movies to get him back but again that’s Anakin’s story.

6.) What about Kylo? Kylo/Ben will be the one to bring her back, but I’m not taking credit for any of that because it’s what smarter people than me have already observed. Kylo/Ben loves her a whole lot, he’s just a dipshit who doesn’t know how to express it properly. But when he does it will be at just the right time to bring her back. This is basically the plot to Knights of the Old Republic anyway, but I’ve seen it play out similarly with heroes who fall/die etc and their anti-hero/villain counterparts finally get the courage to express their love. 

ACTUALLY that’s what happens in the Care Bears II movie from the 80s. Not saying you should go watch it (it’s largely kinda boring but has some nice songs and moments) but if you do you’ll see a lot of similar themes. And what does this random animated movie from the 80s have to do with Star Wars? It was animated by Nelvana, who actually worked on Star Wars cartoons around the same time because George Lucas admired the studio and their stories. So, there ya go: Six degrees of Care Bears.

Anyway, the movie looks great. Can’t wait to see what actually happens!

[jamesbarnesbestgirl]

Just The Beginning Part 2

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader (Slow Burn)

Featuring: Peggy Carter, Howard Stark, Steve Rogers

Word Count: 1475

Warnings: Porbs cringy writing as this is my first fanfic in over 4 years. Swearing (maybe)

A/N: Here is part 2, if you wish to be tagged please feel free to message me. I promise Bucky will be in the next part.

Reader POV

Under the cradle there appears to be a man welding something to it. As we approach the centre of the lab he removes himself from under it and stands to greet us. Once stood the man takes off the welding helmet to reveal a face I haven’t seen since my sophomore year of high school.

“Howie? Is that you?”

“Y/N/N! I haven’t seen you since I blew up my prototype during my graduation ceremony.” He says, walking over with a genuine smile on his face.

Meet Howard Stark. World renowned genius, business man, and play boy. He and I went to the same boarding school back in the day. He’s like an older brother to me.

“I know! It seems like forever ago.” I say smiling back. “I’m assuming you’re the head engineer for Project Rebirth?” I ask, raising my eyebrows with a smirk.

“You know me, I create only the best.” He said with a laugh.

“Yeah, except for that one time in biology.” I state with a misjuvistb look on my face.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mess up one time. Go on rub it in.” He said shaking his head with a smile. I laugh at his exasperated look as I scan around the room.

“You’re free to go guys. I can take it from here.” He stated, dismissing the agents that escorted me into the lab. “Let me grab your things while I catch you up to speed.” He says grabbing my bag before I can protest.

I turn towards the agents who escorted and thanked them for the ride. After they walk out the door I turn back towards Howard. “So what’s the game plan?” I ask.

“Let me give you a rundown of what I’ve got done and a tour of the lab.” He says, starting to walk towards the doors.

I spend the rest of the day following Howard around and catching up on the progress of Project Rebirth. He explains how the test subject is going to be injected with a serum designed by Dr. Erskine before they are subjected to a high volume of Vita-Rays. “So as you can see, that’s were I come in. My job is to design the cradle and ensure it can safely administer Vita-Rays to lucky contestant number one.” He says while we stand back in front of the cradle he was working on when I arrived.

“I can see that.” I say with a smile. “But where do I fall into all of this?” I ask.

“The SSR needs someone to help me make sure that the cradle protects the lab technicians when it’s producing Vita-Rays. You were chosen because of your background in bimolecular science.” He explains. “And, maybe because when I saw the list of candidates I recognized your name and put a good word in.” He says sheepishly.

“So I’m basically your babysitter?” I ask him with a look of distain.

“Think of it more like you’re my partner in crime. The one who cares about the week being of others.” He says jokingly. “Come on kid. I’ll show you to your room.” He says, slipping his arm around my shoulder.

Over the next several weeks Howard began calibrating the cradle. For the most part it went seamlessly, with myself having only to knock some sense into him once or twice. The amount of nagging and constant reminders he needed to not change the cradle design ever 5 seconds was ridiculous. It was safe to say my patients was on its last legs by the time the day of the experiment came along.

That morning I got up bright and early. I walked into the lab to see Howard making some final adjustments the cradle. “Everything set for to go for today?” I ask while handing him the coffee I brought for him.

“Just putting the finishing touches on now. What time will they be here?” He asked, taking a sip of coffee.

“They should be here in an hour. Finish up fast. I’m going to make sure all the medical supplies is accounted for. You know, just incase you blow something up.” I say with a chuckle.

“Oh, ha ha. Laugh it up princess. I’ll be done with this in ten.” He say, before turning back to his work.

Before I know it the lab is being filled up with all sorts of people. Lab technicians helping Howard doing safety checks. Several important looking men from the army. I’m pretty sure I even saw a member of the senate somewhere. Even Colonel Philips and Dr. Erskine were overseeing the work being done and speaking to the guests. The only person missing was the man of the hour. 5 minutes later I heard the door open. I look up from my work to see everyone starring at the entrance to the lab.

At the door was Peggy standing next to someone who looked to be no older the 14. He was fairly short and scrawny with light blond hair. The room was so still you could hear a pin drop, than, after a beat it was back to business as usual. They walked down the steps into the lab and proceeded to talk to Colonel Philips and Dr. Erskine.

“Nurse Y/L/N. Could you come here a moment.” I hear Dr. Erskine call my name.

I smile as I walk over to them. “Colonel, Doctor, Agent Carter. How may I be of assistance?” I great them.

“Miss Y/L/N, this is Steve Rogers. He has been chosen as the first soldier for Project Rebirth.” Dr. Erskine introduces.

“Honour to meet you soldier.” I say, shaking his hand with a smile.

“Likewise.” He says.

“Rogers! Take off your hat, shirt and tie. Nurse Y/L/N is going to quickly go over your vitals before we begin.” Colonel Phillips ordered, causing Steve to jump.

“Right this was soldier.” I say, motioning for him to step towards the cradle. “So, what made you want to enlist?” I ask him while I take his blood pressure and write it down.

“There are men laying down their lives for this country. I have no right to do any less then them.” He said while shifting uncomfortably as the pressure of the arm band builds.

“That’s very noble of you.” I say with genuine smile.

“How about you? What made you become a nurse?” he asked shifting slightly.

“Well I’ve always had a knack for helping and healing people, as well as an interest in science. I used to help my mom with taking care of my younger siblings, especially my little brother. You actually remind me of him.” I say smiling thinking of my family back home.

I hope that they are doing alright. I know my two youngest siblings are finishing up their studies, but my eldest younger brother was off fighting who knows where is Europe. Steve lets out a cough which breaks me from my train of thought. I smile apologetically as I place my stethoscope on his chest. “I just need to check your heart rate and your breathing and then you’ll be good to go.” I say. He nods as I continue with my examination. “There. All done.” I state while writing my last few notes down.

Steve thanks me quickly as I help him get settled into the cradle.

“Miss Y/L/N, I’m sure you and Agent Carter will be more comfortable in the viewing booth.” Colonel Phillips states, gesturing for Peggy and I to follow him.

“So, how was working with Stark?” Peggy asked as we walked up the steps to the viewing platform .

“Oh, Howie was a true gentlemen.” I say loud enough for him to hear, looking for his reaction with a sly smile.

“Howie?” she asks.

“Yeah, he’s a friend from school.” I say as we take our seats in the observation lounge.

The procedure was completed with only a “small” power cut as Howard would call it. When it was finished I could not believe my eyes. Steve was now at least 6’2 and had gained an enormous amount of muscle mass. As he was helped out of the cradle everyone from the viewing area had moved down into the lab to get a closer look at the worlds first super soldier.

I see Peggy walk straight up to him and I notice her barley stop herself from touching his chest. I smile knowingly at their interaction, telling myself I’ll have to get her to tell me about what went on the past few weeks. There was a loud bang that was heard from above. I was so caught up with watching my friends interaction with Steve that I didn’t notice the initial explosion until Howard had knocked me to the ground.

Tag List

@mizz-kraziii

[gospacegay]

LRTIHEW: Part Twelve

The title stands for “Longest Rusame Thing I Have Ever Written”.

First Chapter: https://gospacegay.tumblr.com/post/165808913233/lrtihew-part-one

Previous Chapter: https://gospacegay.tumblr.com/post/166240316908/lrtihew-part-eleven

There is swearing, fluff, eventual smut, insanity, and lord knows what else

Not really knowing how to proceed, Ivan improvised. He pulled Alfred into a crushing hug without warning. “You may be stupid and cruel, but I do not hate you either.” Russia admitted, despising every second of this. It was leagues outside his comfort zone. “Good.” Alfred hummed in approval, immediately twisting out of the grasp. Ivan was solidly hit in the gut, not expecting it. “That's for punching my face!” Alfred growled.

“This is for spilling hot chocolate on my best sweater!” Ivan replied, engaging the somewhat violent play fighting. “Stealing my pot brownies!” another punch was dodged as America advanced on him. They exchanged blows evenly, dodging most as they screamed increasingly silly accusations at each other. Somewhat bloodied, Ivan towered over a tripped Alfred. Wielding a broken lamp, the situation made him pause.

Alfred, shielding his bruised face with his arms, relaxed slightly and perked an eyebrow. Ivan chuckled as the ridiculousness of it all. The chuckle grew to a rolling laugh, making him set down his weapon so he could breathe. “What?” Alfred asked curiously, sitting up. “I was about to kill you with a lamp over a twitter post!” Ivan answered, breaking into low riotous mirth again. “Yeah!” Alfred giggled, joining in. They laughed until there was no energy left in them, dropping onto the broken couch. Ivan felt relieved, almost human.

After pulling shards of glass and wood out of each other, the duo sank into plush furniture and mindlessly watched TV. Alfred's phone rang at some point. “United States of Amazing speaking.” he answered the device cheerfully. “Of course. Breakfast in bed in the best.” he replied after a moment. “I know. I think I'll save that post like forever.” he said while picking  fluff off the couch. Ivan felt exasperated, certain they were talking about the inane twitter post. “Yeah, yeah. See you there.” he bid goodbye casually, hanging up.

“It's Mattie, We have to be ready in... thirty minutes.” Alfred explained as if he wasn't about to be late for the most important party of his president's career. Ivan stood, grimacing at the holes and clotted blood on his silky pyjamas. Oh well, more pairs where that came from. “Where ya going?” Alfred asked in standard obliviousness. “Unlike some animals, I care about looking good in public.” Ivan scoffed, heading off to change.

A tailored suit from long ago. Silver cuff links that had seen more bloodshed than any human alive. A tie in a shade of red passionate to symbolize life, yet dark enough to resemble blood. Ivan did a quick shave, then wrangled his hair down with product. Yes, he would look royal in his eloquence.

When Ivan entered the living room, Alfred was ready to go in a navy blue suit with red tie. How he finished before Ivan was a mystery of physics, considering he started later than the Russian. “God you took forever man. Let's go.” the American teased, up and ready to depart. The drive was endless insults and jabs. Sometimes Ivan wanted to stab his driver, other times he didn't.

Due to endless rain, the party was being hosted away from the traditional site. A nearby convention center was stuffed with people of sky high rank socializing and sipping flutes of golden liquid. Ivan was right to overdress for the occasion, on par with the wealthy around him. Alfred was quite plain, clearly unhappy mingling with the upper crust.

“I fuckin' hate this, big guy. The fake smiles, the attitudes, it's fake. It's fake and I hate it. I wish I could eat beer and chicken wings.” the honey blonde muttered to Ivan, not even trying to mingle. “Oh little America, this is the stage where all change begins. A handshake could destroy the world, or save it.” the Russian assured, feeling at ease in the posh atmosphere. It was really the commoners Ivan had trouble reaching, even after all this time.

“That's a lot of big words coming from a bear like you.” Alfred replied, smirking. Ivan rolled his eyes and gestured to a plump woman in a royal blue gown. “Watch and learn.” Ivan instructed seriously, walking over confidently. “Excuse me madam, but your dress is an exquisite shade of blue.” Ivan greeted, using his archaic royal charms. It worked flawlessly.

“Why thank you, mister... ?” the woman greeted warmly, trailing off into a question. “Braginsky, a humble diplomat of the Russian Federation.” Ivan introduced himself politely. “I'm the state secretary for Nebraska, but you can call me Anita.” the state secretary gushed, enjoying the attention. A few other women and a bored looking senator flocked over at her beckoning.

“You must meet Mr. Braginsky. He is such a charmer.” the fat woman insisted, nudging who was obviously her friend. After exchanging compliments on each other's state of dress, Ivan excused himself. Alfred followed closely behind, looking rather shocked. “Oh man, you're like the rich people whisperer.” he praised in a mostly non-mocking manner.

“You were not watching. I have now given a positive impression to a state secretary. Secretaries know things and talk to people. I would not be surprised if this simple interaction benefits any Russians in... what was it? Nebraska? Yes, a single compliment will benefit many men.” Ivan explained slowly, understanding why England was so frustrated with him in the past.

The American truly was a wild dog among the delicate nobility. His strength and usual clarity were not welcome here. Ivan pitied the younger nation. Had America come from a different age, he would have thrived alongside a warrior king. Ivan had not been keen on battle personally, at least not at first. Surviving as a sovereign state in 862 AD needed a grizzly set of skills.

Not wishing to dwell on his blood stained past, Ivan noticed Alfred was gone. That was fine, Ivan wanted to fraternize a bit more and improve his country's imagery. His boss would be hopefully be impressed with the extra effort. Still, it was a rather artificial and draining process. Soon, he slumped in a chair, sipping vodka from his flask. Wine was quite disgusting.

“Is the prince of the snobs done prancing around already?” Alfred snorted derisively, sitting beside him. “I have finished as I was told. I wish to sleep. Perhaps I will eat chocolate frosting while watching stupid American shark movies with you.” Ivan replied tiredly. When he didn't hear an insulting answer, he looked over in concern. Alfred was smiling like he'd won a prize. Why was he so happy? No one was happy with the isolated Russian when they met his true self.

“If I am not welcome, I can find other means of entertainment.” Ivan continued softly, wishing he could hide in his long white scarf. “No, you're welcome. That's just... That's the best thing I've heard you say ever!”  Alfred replied finally, looking far too excited. “You like eating junk food?” the younger nation asked, clearly scheming. Truthfully, Ivan would have ate all the frosting if he wasn't caught red handed. He had a rather incurable sweet tooth he kept under control for health reasons. “Does it matter?” Ivan countered, wishing so badly he could have a cigarette right now.

“We could... bake something the next time you break into my house. Like cookies or whatever.” Alfred offered. “No. You are England's colony. Anything you cook will be charcoal.” Ivan refused bluntly. “Nuh-uh. You'll nag and bitch at me like a bastard harpy until the food is edible.” Alfred insisted, so unbearably smug. The thought of baking with someone else seemed... wrong. Ivan couldn't nail down why at this very second. “Perhaps.” he replied mysteriously, not giving a true answer.

“Sweet! I have to get baking stuff, and... Oh! I forgot, the speech is going to start soon!” Alfred rambled, only to run off. True to his word, people started pouring into the auditorium area. Ivan's seat was reserved near the front, alongside top notch politicians and other nations. Canada appeared to be Ukraine's latest victim, the pair talking quietly. How many tears had it taken for him to bend to her whim? Ivan had no doubt the wheat blonde Canadian had a hidden chivalrous streak. He was the twin brother of America after all, self titled hero of the world.

Not caring much for the forgettable nation, Ivan turned his attention to a point of interest. There was man fidgeting in his seat, looking tense. His ill fitting coat was misshapen ever so slightly. The odd stranger had caught Ivan's attention right away, clearly not here for social reasons. Ivan had prevented enough attempts on his boss's life to know an assassin when he saw one. No one was going to interfere with Ivan's long term elaborate plans for the United States of America.