#go the fuck to sleep cyrn

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I keep on trying and failing to make the same stupid post so I clearly need to go to sleep goodnight people

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Thinking about how when some people comment on how I squeak when I laugh sometimes I get insecure and when other people comment on it I’m flattered and thinking about it hours later and I genuinely don’t know what makes the difference

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It’s 3 am and my bedtime was 1 or 2 am and I’m scrolling through screenshots trying to find the names of 2 characters from like 2 years ago Bc I want to bring them back

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Me, realizing it’s 4 am and I failed to go to sleep by 2 again:

The ac outside my window: click. MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm-

[toomuchdickfort]

Thinking about how it’s technically Thursday now and I’ll be able to use my middle name and pronouns tomorrow and see my work friends and also how my favorite manager correctly introduced herself as my favorite boss on the phone after I didn’t hear whatever she said at first and I’m looking forward to it so much but I won’t be able to give any of them hugs and like I’m still very excited but you know the kinda sad that you feel like this rubber ball in your chest?

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@ people who have only ever answered to one name. You don’t have to you know

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I’ve probably made a post about this before, but wow, what an image

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I’m still thinking about that morning I woke up and searched ‘situational hero’ so I could remind myself of a story idea when I got up and then I went back to sleep. I was convinced it was a phrase, and possibly the name of a character trope, like how glass cannon is?

[toomuchdickfort]

-

As much as he wants to pretend he’s paying attention to where he’s being led, Derrek is just listening to his breathing and their footsteps echoing in the hallway and the ribs that his shoulder bumps against every so often. He gets into a rhythm, counting his breaths with his steps, and when Barrow stops him, he forgets to keep breathing for a moment.

It feels like one of them should say something, and Derrek can feel Barrow take a breath beside him, but they let it out again after a moment and knock on a door ahead.

It’s loud, and it feels like it rings through his skull, after dealing with silence for so long. And the room that he’s led into is startlingly cold... he hasn’t had to fight the urge to shiver in the past two years. A part of him wants to cry, but he knows he’s not going to do that in front of someone. No thank you. Tears are for behind locked doors and under heavy blankets and that is it.

Barrow gives his shoulder another gentle squeeze before they let go, and he feels a bit lost without the contact. But he came here for a reason, and he’s not going to walk away now.

There’s the sound of paper moving, and someone clears their throat.

“Mister Velhues... you’re late.”

The voice is uncomfortably familiar, but he knows better than to acknowledge that.

-

@highladyofthesith @reliablyaverage @a-court-of-gays-and-glitter @french-fry-0 @greyandgreeneyes @mauchi--mochi @soupgromlin

[toomuchdickfort]

Me: finally almost asleep

My brain: hey bitch wake up time to write

[toomuchdickfort]

I’m like *posts original content* *checks my notifications* *checks my notifications* *checks my notifications* *checks my notifications* *che

[toomuchdickfort]

Nobody:

Me when I’ve been talking for more than a second: ... you know?

[toomuchdickfort]

-

There’s a blinding moment of light, and Jones doesn’t even have to open his eyes to recognize it... but he shouldn’t be dealing with this yet. He’s supposed to have another month before the next switch. He’s not nearly done here yet...

He pushes off the blankets, squinting into the dark room to find his jacket and shoes to pull on before he goes outside. He probably just needs to walk out some energy... it’s fine. The paths from yesterday should still be set into the ground, so he shouldn’t have to worry about that, at least.

It’s darker outside than usual, but the moonlight is still bright enough for him to see the distortion of the conjured bridges above the water, so he sets off, letting familiarity guide him as he stares beneath his feet. It could just be him getting worked up, but the darkness of the water feels hungry tonight, somehow.

There’s a distant crack that echoes through the clearing, and his attention is turned to the trees ahead. Nothing big should be awake yet... so, of course, he’s got to go and check it out. It’s stupid, of course, but he doesn’t really care right now.

With that decision, he picks an offshoot of the path and follows it, looking for something stood among the trees. It’s slow-going, with how the path tilts and turns to avoid anything that had been in the way when he had conjured it, but he’d rather have an uneven path than none at all right now. He doesn’t know what’s awake in the water at night, and with how everything else nocturnal here seems to be, he doesn’t want to know.

There’s another crack, and it’s louder this time. It’s closer. And he very quickly registers a shape looming over him that is not a tree, and it sinks in just how much of a bad idea this was.

Derrek turns, but before he can run, his feet are hitting the water as the pathway vanishes.

There’s a blinding flash of light.

-

(Here’s an even older piece I never posted for whatever reason) (it’s like. A month or two old by now) @highladyofthesith @reliablyaverage @a-court-of-gays-and-glitter @french-fry-0 @greyandgreeneyes @mauchi--mochi

[toomuchdickfort]

I’m like “ok I am going to sleep because it is 4 hours after I said I was gonna and also I’m sleepy and it’s 5 am” *thinks about my new character the second I stop actively listening to youtube*

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I DROPPED MY WATER AND MY WARM AND TOASTY SPOT IS NOW WARM AND WET AND I HAD TO LAY OUT A TOWEL BECAUSE IM NOT FINDING A WHOLE NEW SPOT BUT I JUST HAD TO GET OUT A SECOND TOWEL BECAUSE TURNS OUT THERE WAS LESS WATER RHAN I REALIZED AND ALL IM ASKING FOR RN IS TO GET SOME REST BEFORE I HAVE TO GET UP FOR A WHILE-

[toomuchdickfort]

Someone take away my not asleep privileges for a few hours Bc clearly I’m overusing them