#go see a doctor and stop acting like 30 is decrepit

[uncle-fruity]

People who never stretch, carried/carry their backpacks on one shoulder all through school/life, don't sleep enough, work 40+ hours a week on their feet, and hunch over computers for hours at a time: My body is failing my bones are crumbling and my back and knees hurt all the time :(( it must be because I just turned 30 and no other plausible reasons.

[eeyes]

Struggling with mobility again. THINKIBG. Reflecting. Laminating. Rotating.

It is so hideous to be mistreated by the system and go home and have no support snd be treated subhuman everywhere and i truly despise everyone who has made me bargain for my humanity becquse they think im lying about my condition or they see in struggling and just dont care…

Remembering my psychiatrist who saw i walked into the appointment shaking and requested a chair with a tall back so i could have spinal support, bc i knew at that point w my condition that helped me stop shaking and feel faint, and he kept saying itd “break policy” to move chairs while his decrepit ass sat there in a full sized office chair. So i asked him for his and he just kept saying how it wasnt gonna happen and tried to keep asking me about psychiatry questions but i couldnt remember anything bc i was feeling too bad to form proper sentences 🙄

And my sister and her gf, any time i needed help getting food, going to the bathroom, etc etc they could both be awake 1 room away and hear me say i need help for 30 min and not give a fuck bc they are on their computers. Literally were days i would keep repeating “can someone get me food” and slapping myself cuz if im hungry my body acts stupid and i twitch a bunch and the two of them would get into SCREAMING arguments over how they both didnt wanna help me get like. Cereal…

Another time. aome fuckass nurse saw that i was admitted into the hospital for not being able to walk and told me i didnt need her help going to the bathroom and left me partway in the hallway telling me to go the rest of the way myself so she could do something else and i ended up maybe 5 feet closer to the bathroom then when she left me and laid down on the floor so id stop shaking/wouldnt pass out like what did you expect 😭😭😭😭

Like . im mad at all these situations clearly im mad but i just feel so defeated. I seriously dod not see myself as human for several years because of this treatment and j still struggl to every time i have mobility issues… I just want to be able to have flareups and not wake up immediately crying because i have to overexert myself and make people argue over whether its worth it to help me get food or driven to the doctor or take baths lolooolololol

And im hoping my current flareup isnt longer than a week… Recently ive been doing better. But i seriously get so depressed every time it happens again and im still sorting all these feelings out in therapy and i deserve to talk about the way ive been treated… And i mean i deserve to have bad days. I cant control my body.

[heartandsouloc]

OC Character Sheet

2020 UPDATE

Setting: distant future post-post-apocalypse. Tired of the humans ravaging the earth many monsters and magical creatures rose up and took control of the planet to save it. Centuries later, some humans adapted and live side by side with the new supernatural neighbors, but most that survived still live separately in isolated city-states. Times however are threatening to change once again.

Notable Character List

Thaddeus Varni: main character. His mother was elected governess of his human city-state of Waldrand (in modern Austria/Styria) so he’s lived about a good a life as a human could in this world albeit very sheltered and vaguely stressed. He was turned into a vampire accidentally when the city was attacked by the small vampire nation. Now as a monster he cannot return home, his goal now is to become human again and stop the vampire nation from attacking again. The attack also damaged his throat significantly, the bite left him mute and with a large scar. He’s very self conscious about the scar, and especially in the beginning he wears things like scarves or a poncho to cover his neck. He communicates at first with writing on notepads but eventually learns sign language. He goes from very stiff and proper to more loose and expressive as a result of learning sign. A grump with a heart of gold, just wants to sit in his vegetable garden tbh. Thaddeus can be hard to get to know but once you do become his friend he is willing to throw hands with anything for you. He’ll fight anything actually (especially if that thing is much bigger than he is, which is usually the case as he’s rather short and slight). Most likely to eat pizza with a knife and fork. He hates it when people call him Tad. As a vampire he has the ability to shapeshift (his form is a pine marten).

Shahrazad Zargari: An alchemist originally from a city in the Iraq region. Thaddeus meets her while she is telling stories in the street using alchemy to make and animate little figures to go along with her tales. They eventually end up traveling together as she knows the outside magical world much better. As an alchemist she was meant to be traveling the world from town to town to offer services and alchemical medicine but she found she likes telling stories and creating art with alchemy better. Her family doesn’t know about what she’s been doing while traveling and she hopes to keep it that way (such is the life of a liberal arts student). She has a talent for creating golem which she considers friends even if they are only friend shaped empty shells. Shahrazad’s an actual ray of sunshine, most likely to be a studio ghibli protag.

Feliz Guillermo Rivera: a spanish sailor, he lives on a small caravel boat/ house boat named La Foca. He spends most of his days fishing and playing music and movies obnoxiously loud much to the annoyance of whoever he’s docked next to. Feliz makes his living selling fish and offering ferry services on his boat which is how he meets Thaddeus and Shahrazad. He was human but ends up tragically turned into a vampire during their adventures. They all learn to manage it together. Feliz was left with the boat after his parents were killed by a sea monster attack. Because of this Feliz is very attached to the boat and still struggles going out into large open waters instead preferring to stay close to shore. He also developed OCD tendencies as he struggled to cope ie intrusive thoughts and compulsive tendencies to count items and double check things on the boat in an effort to maintain control. He’s learning to manage it better with things like music and jigsaw puzzles. Most likely to eat all the marshmallows from the Lucky Charms. He can play the guitar, ukulele, and the accordion. As a vampire he has the ability to shapeshift (his form is a seal).

Ramon and Concha: This bonded pair are the kobolds/ klabautermann that live with Feliz on the boat the La Foca. They have watched over the family’s boat since the time of Feliz’s grandparents. They consider themselves family, and these two watch over Feliz as if he were their own. As klabautermann they protect the boat, in fact they’re practically are a part of the boat really. Concha tends to help Feliz with the sails or steering. She also likes joining Feliz in his music making, playing the accordion, even though the thing is about the size of her torso. While Concha is very sweet like an old granny, Ramon is much more rough and gruff. He tends to help with the cooking and keeping the ship clean and tending to the mechanics. He likes to take the form of a fire on the stove to cook. 

Hugh Wesley: Hugh was a doctor who was bitten by a vampire he had been treating as a patient. He was chased out of town for being a vampire and spent many years adrift. He found peace with his condition and has been able to reintegrate into society again under the guise of being a normal shapeshifter. He does not have a medical practice anymore, although he’s always willing to provide aide. Instead he owns a flower shop, selling plants from his greenhouse in town. He’s surrounded himself with other vampires who have passed through, confused and lonely as he had been. Although many of the other vampires come and go, several stay, and together they all form a loose sort of coven. As a vampire, he has the ability to shapeshift, Hugh’s form is a black fox.

Ava and Theresa Baumann: They met at university in the UK when Ava was studying spirits and spirit magic while Theresa was a seamstress. The two fell absolutely head over heels about each other, and married. Unfortunately Ava died suddenly and Theresa could not cope. Using Ava’s research she scoured the knowledge she could trying to find a way to save Ava. This eventually led to her finding and beseeching to the Spirit of the Dead. Theresa was able to get the power of necromancy from this spirit ie giving life to the dead, however this did not work on Ava as hoped. Theresa was able to call enough soul energy from the ether to animate Ava’s decayed body and summon Ava’s soul to be present but she could not actually combine Ava’s soul and body since the connection had already been lost. So now Ava’s body is animated, mindless and basically a zombie while her soul lingers as a noncorporeal ghost. So the two can speak to and see each other again but of course it’s not ideal. They just try to manage as best they can, unsure what would happen if Theresa tried to send either Ava’s body or spirit away. The two now live in a secluded cottage surrounded by forest and a large garden. They’re Hugh’s best customers. They have a 30 year old orange cat named Purrsephone.

Antagonists:

Queen Athanasia: Queen of the vampire nation in what was once Greece/ the city of Delphi. Also known by other names like Athanasia the Deathless, or The Dragon, The Great Oracle. She became queen after she lead a coup against her own husband, the old vampire King Ambrose. She is revered for her strength, vision, and powers of fortune telling. She speaks almost exclusively through telepathy (just to flex tbh). She has lost one leg which she has fashioned a prosthetic made of brass with talons on the foot. Vicious and swift, she has high standards for vampires she lets into her society, values strength above all else. While the vampires have drained their own people and the very land of life, she has now taken it upon herself to start moving into new territory for more souls and to Make Vampires Great Again. What’s the point of being an evil queen without world domination anyway? As a vampire, her shapeshift is a barn owl. 

Jan Rostami: When the vampires first started running low on souls to devour, they started demanding sacrifices from villages nearby to the west. Jan, as a sickly unremarkable member of her distinguished family, was volunteered as sacrifice quickly. This broke Jan. When she was faced with the vampires she did not fight back or beg for her life. It surprised them that instead Jan was willing to die rather than live with the shame and disdain. Athanasia offered Jan a chance to be turned and join the vampire ranks instead. Jan’s first act as a vampire was leading the attack on her ungrateful village. She’s reveled in her new strength and Athanasia’s supposed ‘love’ ever since. Jan’s vampire shapeshift is a rabbit

Erik Draugur: Athanasia’s main general and a trusted advisor. Draugur is very tall and thin, almost skeletal looking. A very grave man, but truly comes alive while hunting. He has a tendency to loom about silently over people’s shoulders. Draugur is also the one to generally keep the other vampires in line, especially Jan, whom he has yet to trust since she joined the court. His vampire shapeshift is a pale gray horse. 

Abraham Ruthven: one of the oldest vampires in Athanasia’s court, he was an old Lord that did not want his wealth to outlive him so he allowed himself to be turned. He has not aged well, he looks more waxy and decrepit by the decade. What Abraham lacks in brains, he makes up for in being terribly vicious. He has his moments, which is why Athanasia has seen fit to keep him in the court as a long time advisor. His fangs come from his two front incisors, this gives him a bit of a hissing lisp. His vampire shapeshift is a bat.