#gnomepol

[thosforatu]

>>Admire the picture of your son This is your beautiful son BEPO, descended from your dense line of both GNOMES and ELVES frotting about, and next to it is him as an egg, he was such a meager egg, but he came out so healthy. You can't help but feel prideful of your spawn, a single GNOME TEAR falls from your eye as a result of your admiration.

[thosforatu]

>>End of Cycle 1, Turn 1 And with it's sixth move, the GNOME OLIGARCY's turn comes to an end; advancing the tracker another section, to the WEASEL KINGDOM. With the turning of the political dial, stats are adjusted with impartiality to their owners. GLOD -5 MAXIMUM PULCHRITUDE +15 MAXIMUM LAMENT Facial Hair advances another step on the GNOMISH AXIS, towards POST NOVEMBER DEPRESSION MUSTACHE. +4 GNOME RELATABILITY -4 ELF RELATABILITY It is now the WEASEL KING's TURN.

[thosforatu]

>>THE MAIL MAN IS WAITING, CMON (s)

Your lunk of a COURIER can handle it from here,

"RUN!! RUN AS FAST AS YOUR LEGS CAN CARRY YOU!!"

Your PULCHURITUDE stat is in shambles but they'll do it anyways.

[thosforatu]

>>Play with the rubix cube, get those mind juices flowing (s) You do not have the requisite CHROMATIC VISION in order to use this FLIPPY CUBE, received long ago from the CLOWN SUCCESSOR. The only color you can see is blue, as it is reminiscent of your GNOME TEARS. This thing is a glorified fidget toy.

You fiddle around with it regardless to attempt to loosen up your brain juice.

[thosforatu]

>>Finish the letter already

You trash your previous draft and begin to work on a new one, placing the crumpled piece of paper into your garbage drawer.

First you scribe the section of the letter meant for the king in ARISTROCRATIC LETTERING, a language both you and him share in appreciation of, just issuing some general appraise before cutting to the point and sending your well wishes in the face of his oft written about usurpation, which you sincerely hope is far from the truth.

You utilize COMMONERS TEXT in order to write to the potential usurper, not wanting him to know what the first portion of the text reads but still needing him to understand the second half.

[DEAR NEW GUY, WHATS YOUR DEAL?]

You think that should get the point across. You spent some IMAGINATION in composing this letter, as well as expelling some PULCHURITUDE in the process, in order to write in COMMONERS TEXT, you aren't fond of using that skill. Thankfully your LAMENT stat is unchanging, as you do not know if the king is usurped or not at the present moment.

-OH YOU CLUMSY BITCH YOU SPILLED THE INK

((open img to see animation, tumblr fuckup))

[thosforatu]

>>Take a little peek out your window And there's your fucking worthless COURIER. Look at him. He's waving at you. He just waits out by your MAILBOX for you to send letters. Taunting you silently for not finishing the final draft of your letter to the WEASEL KING, that miserable lout. You may want to finish it at some point soon so you can get him to work instead of sullying the view and diminishing the value of your property.

You shout out to him, both as an assurance and a threat- "I WILL FINISH THIS LETTER YET COURIER, DON'T YOU DARE MOVE FROM THAT SPOT UNTIL I DO!!" You think that was loud enough but are somewhat unsure, your PULCHRITUDE Stat is high enough for him to remain, unquestioning, in place.

[thosforatu]

You are the GRAND GNOME DIGNITARY, GLOD. You're currently working on your third draft of a letter to the current WEASEL KING, upon hearing some concerning news about an abrupt shift in power, you figured you may as well confirm his current status - you've debated on including a passage for the potential new king in the event of the previous ones usurpation.

You don't know with what tone to write with in the event that the new king will be reading the letter, you've rewritten two previous drafts where you were 1 - Aghast and 2 - Flirtatious, both felt like they had too much room for error.