#gna play it again sometime this month

[its-coda]

Playing cyber sleuth for the first time and is gallantmon or chaosgallntmon better?

Hi! I rarely use them but personally I’d go for gallantmon. Though chaosgallantmon does have better ATK and INT compared to gallantmon, who has better HP, DEF, and SPD. But as for gallantmon, he has the crimson mode, which if i remember correctly has a piercing attack, and that shit is GOOD. Piercing attacks are damn overpowered in this game, so if you can get his ATK real good, that’d be amazing.

Though I will say, my absolute favorite digimon is beelzemon bm. He has a strong piercing attack, and his ATK stats are unfairly high. Like. I think i got his ATK to 500ish. I am never letting him out of my team.

[noxtivagus]

i love ffxiv so much fr

[astrxealis]

once i dreamed that i was in the Video Game Store and there was a copy of drakengard 3 for ps3 there and i got it

[smalltragedy]

* brigette lundy-paine, nonbinary + they/them | you know kirby wormwood, right? they’re twenty five, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, two weeks? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to ring ring by mika like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole balancing acts at perilous heights destined to entertain, jack of all trades master of none, refusal to accept the mortal world as it is thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is december 1st, so they’re a sagittarius, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( james, 21, est, they/them )

hllo welcome 2 my third character i love them a lot theyre a. remake of an older oc of mine so this is fun <3 sdfhk anyways once again i am asking u. pleathe like if u wld like to plot.

ARSON TW

mini playlist.

wizard ;; lucas lex / ring ring ;; mika / crows ;; clues / sunrise sunset ;; bright eyes / la llorona ;; beirut / no children ;; the mountain goats / might be love ;; the pesky snakes / sax in the city ;; let’s eat grandma.

statistics.

full name: kirby wormwood (currently).

nickname(s): magpie.

birthday: december 1st, 1995.

zodiac: sagittarius sun, aries moon, libra ascending.

mbti & temperament: estp & improvisor / sanguine.

label: the hellion.

hometown: abilene, texas.

sexuality: bisexual.

pinterest.

biography.

alright lets get right into it. kirby ws switched at birth. they cld’ve hd a very like. picket fence trampoline in the backyard. 4 columns cos its texas n it feels right. bt instead they were chosen <3 somewhat unintentionally <3 by dorothea n fawley wormwood, two traveling circus workers who emergency stopped in abilene.

n u know what. growing up in st. pierre’s traveling circus ws kinda fkn awesome? like ok. besides the fact tht they were homeschooled fr like evr n there were a sparing amt of children 2 socialize with? it ws p cool idk.

it ws kinda like everybody ws their parent n also not at all bc they were all very casual. bt they grew up learning hw 2 maintain the circus (n also like. normal school thingz bt i dnt think kirby hs ever cared abt school like ever) n whenever they hd a show kirby wld facepaint or handle tickets until they were old enough 2 start learning like. the Real fun things. 

fawley hd a lot of his own weird odd little like superstitions n beliefs n practically raised kirby on them like n they dnt rly <3 make a lot of sense. lots of made up philosophy. very much like. nothing defines u. u cn b anything or anyone. n kirby ws like ok cool. n then developed a god complex.

names didnt rly stick 2 kirby when they were a kid like. nothing satisfied them or felt worthy fr them or simply they just. got tired of a name. this isnt related 2 them being nonbinary BUT it did help ease some of the. pressure of exploring gender identity. theyve only hd one name tht stuck genuinely n tht ws magpie n. thts bc everybody hd their own bird name n it felt very. like community. like a role. usually the names they used during performances bt. anyways KFHDSGLKKHL

theyre Kirby bt answers 2 most. neutral nouns.

honestly. they were also a rascal as a youth. ws like. oh. i learned sleight of hand? cool. time 2 pick pockets. wld throw popcorn into the hair of other kids n b like. omggg what was that ... became a mime fr a year. it ws a rigorous training.

now a master of charades. bt anyways. they traveled pretty much weekly, maybe bimonthly n sometimes just pure monthly. there wsn’t an off season fr them, when the colder months came they’d travel south and when summer rolled in they’d go right back up again. it ws easy to switch personas almost daily n just. never reveal ur true self. totally not saying tht’s what kirby did bt thts what they did. it nvr made them lose sight of themselves it ws more like. acting. tricking ppl fr fun. 

anyways all good things come 2 an end and when kirby ws like. 18. they were like hey ur old enough that we cn trust u with fire. we think. n they started 2 learn fire-throwing n like. they were ok at it bt lessons were painfully slow n kirby ws like. i wld b so good at this if i cld do it all the time. n it ws like. hey kirby, chill. u already know a lot of things.

arson tw // u see where this is going. tents are kind of flammable. kirby ws unsupervised. bad decisions all around. circus is aflame. all the animals n all the circus workers got out fine bt like. st. pierre’s ws efficiently out of business. arson end of tw //

n kirby fkn booked it they just. ran. pure fear. nvr looked back which is like super traitorous of them 2 do bt. sometimes they meet up in secret like. sunglasses n all at a coffee shop. not all of them just like. fawley or someone else. theyre like. ur family u cld burn down a thousand circuses n we’d still love u. n kirby is like yeah i know bt i’ve rly committed to the bit now. n they dnt reunite.

anyways. since then kirby hs just been. a traveler. nvr rly staying anywhere fr super long n driving around in their shitty little van tht’d been used as housing back at st. pierre’s.

they’re in irving n theyve been there fr almost. suspiciously long. compared 2 their average stays. when asked abt what they do or why theyre there theyll just. give a vague answer or spin a long tale tht usually involves a burning circus.

theyre staying at uh. abernathy creek rn bc of course they r they fit in so naturally. welcomed with wide arms. might b soul searching rn might b on the hunt fr their birth parents might b just vibing ... whose to say ..

personality & facts.

has a Big personality tht attracts others fr better or fr worse. either super likeable or the most despicable person on the earth. no in betweens. n honestly tht is a talent in itself

has no off button is constantly. spinning tales or performing a dance or getting kicked out of bars fr whatever nonsense reason. 

honestly they prob think tht nothing bad cn ever happen to them even tho like. bad has literally happened 2 them before? love the optimism here. KLFGDLKFSDHGF

acts a bit like u’ve known them fr ur entire life they r oddly warm in tht way bt they themself r so distant tht its like. oh nice ok ...

both honest n yet dishonest like. yes they will hustle u out of ur money bt they will also tell u their opinion straight up. 

probably smart bt they r just like. prime thembo? flowy pirate shirts n cropped tshirts n pants tht r never tight. dresses like they do still work n live at a circus. 

likes 2 instigate things between others n then stand back n just watch it happen while taking like zero accountability. loves a good small town drama. avid milf hunter.

does not hv any faith in the american healthcare system at all n will straight up refuse 2 go 2 a hospital if they get hurt theyre like. i cn do it myself im like practically a professional. they r not a professional. 

bt does hv like. a thing abt apples. fkn loves them. 

uuuhhh cn play instruments bt all very badly. only knows one (1) song tht isnt made up n its wonderwall by oasis. they play it at parties. they expect fr tomatoes to b thrown at them at any given time.

very nimble. agile. granted its frm. learning circus tricks frm a baby age bt they hv impeccable balance n cn sneak up behind anyone without a single noise. uses this 2 their advantage in order 2 scare ppl. chaotic neutral.

loves having the attention on them i wont fk around here. will go to drastic measures to accomplish receiving it. my other muses r capable of taking things srsly bt kirby just. is not. they do not take a single thing srsly they barely even took. st. pierre’s destruction srsly n they caused it. maybe.

likes being able to just. be unknown so the amt tht ppl know abt them is actually very. little. i dnt think they even tell others their last name. sometimes not even their first. just hs so many aliases n nicknames. i know i didnt list any bt thts simply bc Any cld.

probably acts out to compensate fr the. underlying guilt they hv bt thts okay. i mean it isnt bt.

will probably show up if u call them fr help bt they lose interest in people p quickly n r always moving onto the next shiniest person. bt when they do they give them like. all their attention. if u wrong them in this period they will just. ignore it. bt when theyre bored then its like. u werent even friends at all? very odd.

perhaps it is commitment issues bt <3 ya. thts them. they do not claim favorite colors or movies or. most interests. probably bc theyre very very disconnected frm pop culture i think they learn everything thru twitter n google.

i wld not call them a good person bt i also dnt think theyre like evil horrible nasty awful they just. think abt themself a lot more than they think abt others n also refuses to face consequences ever and also .. anyways.

wanted plots.

part of the bird’s nest ;; honorary bird honorary circus member. u hv to be very well regarded by kirby to earn a bird name bt i feel like tht doesnt feel like a lot considering theyve only been here fr like. two weeks KDGDSHKGK. the catch is tht u cn only refer 2 them as magpie frm then forward. 

hand in unlovable hand ;; theres comfort in being terrible ppl together n it may not last bt it doesnt hv to anyways. its just them n the like. vibes. n knowing tht its smth thts nvr gna b long term. cld b anything ur character just hs to be also a little evil. KHDSGFDS

one jester ... wht abt ... TWO jesters .. ;; hoo boy. ooh man. unstoppable force and immovable object combine forces n just become. the worst of the worst. ultimate jokesters. epic pranksters. absolute clowns. chaotic energy unmatched. always nonsense. 

n also ;; ppl they’ve stolen frm, ppl who hv caught them in that act, ppl who’ve maybe seen them in the circus a very long time ago, Found Family Trope, real family shenanigans, kirby just asking everybody if theyre their dad., mortal enemies if they see each other its an instant duel 2 the death, etc.

[delbeugre]

Have you seen SADIE BEUGRE? DEL is in HER/THEIR SENIOR year. The MATHEMATICS MAJOR is 24 years old & is a CAPRICORN. People say SHE/THEY are GRITTY, BEWITCHING, RETICENT and WASPISH. Rumors say they’re a member of HASTINGS. I heard from the gossip blog that SHE BIT AN EX-BOYFRIEND’S PINKY FINGER OFF AFTER SHE FOUND OUT HE CHEATED, AND THEN HAPPILY SERVED TIME FOR IT.

im tommy im a freak and of course i am here to get freakalicious with u all... this is my newest frankenstein type creation named sadie i know .02% about her yet but i am more than confident she will b nothing but a fun time! like this if ur down to plot!

TW: VIOLENCE, MENTIONS OF JAIL/PROSECUTION, MENTIONS OF SUICIDE, DRUG USE

BACKSTORY

capricorn sun / virgo moon / scorpio rising

raised by her uncle Big (his name) who is a hermit shut in town local in the depths of the florida marshland like some goosebumps protagonist. hes gone far past socially acceptable in terms of his ability to connect with the modern person but is wise beyond belief... his whole vibe is a warped cross between a cryptid and a mountain man that forages and cooks neighborhood plants. married for 27 years before his wife passed from illness. its quite possibly the only thing hes ever been emotional about

but dels entry to his life throws a wrench in his sadness (despite abandonment being what they bond over). she takes the focus away from his loss with her presence; her dad, his brother, died in a tragic train-car collision around the same time (which is speculated to be a suicide bt nobody can ever really be sure). he was a single parent so her custody is thrown up in the air for a few months as cps decides what they r gna do with this freshly orphaned little scrapper

she just kinda turns up on his doorstep n from there they cohabit a space. shes arnd 6-7 at this time... big never seemed to b phased by the fact tht she was a child n tended to treat her more like an apprentice or guest. he was never close to her father because of their age difference, being the older out of the two, so to have his daughter become his responsibility is just..... weird

this doesnt mean that he wouldnt provide for her bt it was. not very parental whatsoever.... no conversation or interaction beyond what was necessary. she was a mute fr a while and still is? to a degree.... very short spoken

when she got to her preteens he offered her an allowance in exchange for little odds and ends of stuff to be taken care of around the house. errands n all tht.... sometimes he wld purposefully leave things for her to pick up n take care of without mentioning it for a bonus. taught her the importance of saving your money and the horrid corruptness of a society basing everythings worth off paper. big exposed her to a lot of knowledge and took advantage of her silent curiosity by fueling it with books, homeschooling, life skills (catching a fish, setting a trap, knowing your berries in the woods...... the works)

her teens carried out the same way bt with the introduction of a real job, a spot down at the local butcher shop checking people out at the register and helping around the back of house. del knows a great deal abt cow/pig/chicken/etc anatomy from her years here..... she committed to being 100% vegan into her early twenties because of her trauma frm this occupation

it paid very well tho n was the best gig she was going to get within a reasonable biking route from home. so she settled!

the plan wasnt to keep it up for long anyway. she worked rly hard for her spot at yates and didnt intend to ever screw herself over. her plan was to get her bachelors, masters, become a professor, pursue a personal hobby of agriculture and build an elaborate greenhouse to live in

bt things happen..... 

some 35yr old douche with a green thumb woos her at a gardening store n swoops in to teach her a little more abt romance; all of this, of course, under the guise that he had all these tips and tricks for living environmentally friendly. a lame hippie wannabe that shouldve never even approached her bt alas.... he did

love is a touchy subject n it hadnt been something she set her sights on, but she was interested in wht this dude could teach her n at 19 she ended up falling in love. she delayed her education to stay an extra year back home and work out another plan which included him

this was very disappointing to her uncle bt he didnt have anything to say abt it. it was never parental before n it was never going to be, so this was another lesson she wld just have to overcome on her own

it turns out that she doesnt care for infidelity. when the confession comes out its met with a lot of screaming, bawling, blistering white hot anger. the whole incident is blacked out of her mind to b honest....

matters of the heart are no longer something to concern herself with because of the repercussions of her rash behavior regarding heartbreak O________O she spent a year in jail n still has to attend therapy / anger management meetings

deep down she is still hurting. there was a lot of pain... bt the sadness is not over the loss of some noob. she is in a state of constant disappointment, detaching from herself out of shame. putting her own life on pause only for it to turn out like that? stupid stupid stupid... 

PERSONALITY

chugging along! tldr spectre-like swamp nymph aura with the slightest (not so slight) unhinged feral tendencies

delicate like a moth resting in the gleam of a flashlight.... her anger singes her wings when shes too comfortable staying in one place, so theres always constant stimulation, always shifting gears. shes prone to feeling threatened; that being said, sadie is wary of walking in crowds, a little bit skittish when approached without making eye contact beforehand. like a small grey kitten..... in a big wide world

has a hard time keeping a conversation bt is very interested in debate, and even more so in studying alongside someone in complete silence. it reminds her of home in the same sense tht her uncle wld nudge her to keep reading by always having his own book open

doesnt have many friends and is alright with that. rumors are tht she is still a virgin bt who really knows? not i...... bt i wldnt be surprised if this was true. shes not impressed by people nor material items so this whole yates crowd is a turn off

she is truly clueless when it comes to how to behave around anyone her age. i think she understands but it just doesnt compute. she could come off as impolite bt it is just standoffishness? some people cld try to crack her but i dont think even she knows what that would be, or what that would look like. even in her one (1) failed relationship it was never deep heart to hearts or sharing dinner..... solitude is her realm

del is very comfortable with herself, very open with her wardrobe! doesnt leave too much to the imagination? she appreciates the human experience n expresses that thru this whole “body is a temple” type thing.... not quite confidence, but proudness of being. has gotten multiple notices frm professors for her tops being too sheer, nylons too ratted up, etc. has dirt under her fingernails half the time, chipped polish, some chapstick. smudges her eyeshadow on with her fingers

doesnt smoke cigarettes all too often but is dependent on weed. it kinda perpetuates her paranoid demeanor bt at the same time it keeps her lax enough to be able to mentally handle city life

her room is a playground for huge monstera plants, christmas cacti, ivy creeping along the doorway. she sleeps on a tiny thin mattress on the floor with a linen sheet and has her books stacked up on the ground next to it to hold her ashtray. the whole thing is dumb empty

takes her studies seriously and pinches every penny she can..... she has never ordered herself a coffee frm somewhere before, ordered food frm a restaurant... nothing. i wld think the most she would branch out from harvesting everything on her own is buying a bag of sunflower seeds frm a gas station, but even then, she much prefers eating stuff she grows herself. has a tomato plant, some basil beginning to sprout, etc.... manageable crops for any college students tiny space

...

bt yea thats it thats all! connections cld be all over the place. im legit open to anything. theres only a few tht come to mind right off that bat: 

a few people that get along with her? same classes? they shared a bowl n now theyre getting into the nitty gritty of some personal conversation that is veering into no mans land....

some sort of clueless makeover moment? arent rly into sadie as a person bt see a lot of potential... perhaps need a plus one to a party on the fly and figure thats the best option theyve got

crushes? this wld be fun n potentially dangerous! like playing with a hot cast iron pan or something :)

again im vry new to rp so i wld like to leave a lot of stuff up to chemistry, brainstorming n stuff like that, but please consider everything on the table! what i hav mentioned is the tip of the iceberg im so burnt out n i wrote a lot more than i intended to i am so sorry but i promise i am friendly

[samcrobae]

Ahhhhh here we gooooooo

Stay, Part 3.

The next few weeks played out the same. You’d come over, hang out with Angel and Elle. Then when she was asleep, Angel would fuck you into oblivion. Then you’d leave before she was up. When Felipe watched Elle you’d spend the night at his place or him at yours. It was hands down the best sex you ever had in your life. You loved how you spent your mornings, wrapped up in his arms, tangled in the bed sheets. Angel felt at ease with you, he was able to relax when he was in your presence. And his whole world disappeared when he was inside you. You’d cook for him, bake for him and the guys, he’d bring you coffee when you were at work. Helped out with Elle. You hadn’t put a title on this, whatever you were, but it worked.

“Hey Y/N.” You looked up from the pile of receipts you were sorting. “Hey Johnny”. Gilly came into the shop shortly after. Coco was holding a cup of coffee in his hand and set it on the counter.

“Your lover wanted me to drop this off. He had some shit to do.”

He leaned on the counter and looked you in the eye. “Look - Angel? He don’t need someone to come in and play house then dip when shit gets bad like his ex did. He needs someone who can hold him down. Be his constant. There’s a lot of shit that comes with this life. If you’re gna be in it, then be in it. He’s got a kid Y/N. Shit isn’t a joke. So if you’re gna destroy him, then walk away now. Stop wasting all of our time.”

You raise your voice a little “you don’t know shit about me Coco. How do you know I don’t need those things too?” He smirked “nah you don’t. If you did, you wouldn’t be here. See you later yeah?” He walked out of the shop, leaving you with your blood boiling.

—————

Later that night you and Angel agreed to meet at a dive bar on the other side of town. You and Angel were the last to arrive . You found your way to EZ and Coco, Gilly getting a round. The music got louder as the crowd grew and sometime later you found yourself grinding against Angel, his hands exploring your curves in the body con long sleeve black dress you were wearing. “Baby, I’m going to grab some drinks. I’ll be back.” You head to the bar, place your order and wait when you feel a hand on the small of your back. This wasn’t a touch you recognized. You turn to see the face of a man you left behind months ago. Your ex.

“Hey stranger. Long time no see.”

“Miguel.. hey. What are you doing here?”

“Me? Oh I live here, remember? You left me.” Reaching over he harshly squeezes your forearm.

Coco looks in your direction and sees Miguel approach the bar, his sniper vision in full effect as he watches his every move. “Angel. I think we got a problem.” Angel looks at him and follows his gaze. EZ does the same. When coco sees Miguel get closer to you, he mumbles “shit. Let me know when you wanna move Man.” Then Angel sees it. Miguel reaches over and grabs your arm. You visibly uncomfortable. Angel lost all control of his actions as his vision tunnels straight at you. “Fuck. Gilly!” Coco yells.

Angel pulls Miguel back by his shoulder and turns him around. “Who the fuck are you?” Miguel retorts. “Dammit” Coco says before ducking toward you and and pulling you out of the way. Angel punches Miguel in the face, and 2 more guys appear from nowhere, EZ and Gilly throwing punches in every direction. Angel lays into Miguel as you watch from behind Coco. “Angel stop it!” you shout. “Coco puts his arm out to block you from stepping in. “This needs to happen.”

Security comes rushing out and grabs the guys up and drags them out of the bar. You and Coco follow behind. You run to Angel “Yo what the fuck was that Angel?! Are you fucking stupid?’”

Cocos eyes grew wide and EZ and Gilly watched in silence. “Am I fuckin stupid?! Nah what was stupid was watching some guy put his hands on my bitch and you expecting me not to do a fucking thing!”

“Your WHAT?! I don’t fuckin belong to you Angel. I don’t fuckin belong to anybody.” EZ steps in “alright alright. Enough! Alright ? Enough. Let’s just get outta here.” You roll your eyes and let out a chuckle. “EZ, take me home.” EZ froze in place. Not knowing what to do, scared to make the wrong decision. “Don’t you fuckin do it bro.” Angel says to EZ. “Y/N get in the fuckin car.” You all stand in silence. “NOW!” Angel shouts. You’ve never heard him yell before, let alone yell at you.

You move forward and get in the car. Driving home In silence. He pulls into his driveway and turns off the car. He sat in silence as he rubbed his hands over his face. “Look-” you get out of the car and slam the door shut. He gets out and follows you, stepping around to unlock the door. You step inside and he locks the door. You remove your shoes when Angel grabs you by your waist and spins you into his chest So you’re facing him.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean what I said. I mean I did. Kind of. You’re not a bitch. But the thought of another man touching you is enough to make my blood boil. Let alone watching it happen. I’m the only one allowed to touch you querida. I don’t know when it happened but the shit I feel for you is scary. But I want you. I want you all the time. Not just sex. I want all of it. My life is fucked up. The things I’ve seen, done, will have to do. I want to push you so far from all this shit but I want to pull you closer to me. I need you closer to me.”

You cut him off as you crash your lips into his. Both hands come up to cradle your face as your hands rest on his waist. “You’re mine baby. I want you to be mine.” You smile and kiss him again. “Yes Angel. I’m yours.”

“Mmm now, let’s get you out of this dress so I can fuck you til you pass out. Then I want you to tell me about that little bitch from the bar.”

“Fuck me til I pass out? Don’t make promises you can’t keep Reyes.” “Oh I’m a man of my word querida. I never break a promise”. You laugh as he chases you into the bedroom. And fuck you til you pass out he did.

—————————-

@whyisgmora

[judehayward]

lady gaga voice slowly fadin in: ju-Das juda-ah-ah… frankly i missed this ridiculous depressed little man so i’m gna try my hand at playing 2 charas again. the crowd grits their teeth in apprehensive nerves. it’s fine it’s fine it’s all FINE!!!!!!!!! also this is nai btw forgot to say. anyway. ahem. without further adieu.... his intro

he pinterest:

me in the voice of a card magician performing on the street: round up round up pick a pinterest any pinterest!

ta-da it’s aesthetics:

lead marbles instead of eyes, a stolen hearse careening down the wrong lane, wearing a faded smiley face sticker on your forehead while receiving a serious lecture, bags under the eyes that are so big they could pack enough clothes for a three week vacation, a cigarette wobbling from your bottom lip as you squint against the sunlight, passing out on a stranger’s rooftop, placing sunglasses over the eyes of a biology lab skeleton, gangling around the place like shaggy minus his scooby snacks, saying “fuck off” to inanimate objects

about tha Bitch:

ok to start w i won’t lie i’ve pasted in an old intro here bc i just hate intros i hate writing them i hate them................. bt it’s fine.......................... lets pretend this is all fresh n sexy n new....... bsically this is jst a disclosure tht this isn’t tht well written bc it’s old n stinky bt we’re all jst having fun here. bye

he hd to do community service bc he kind of… hd a bit of a breakdown before the funeral of his elderly neighbour who bsically raised him bc her kids rly didnt care abt her they jst wanted her inheritance?? so he… stole the hearse w her casket still in it n ws jst like… drivin around the place sort of… tryin nt to cry…..KJJFHSFKJGHKFG i mean. it isnt funny its actually sad bt :/ in a very bizarre n jude way. he gt caught n taken in fr questioning bt her son kind of realised hw… broken up abt her death jude ws n had a heart n didnt press charges. regardless he stil hd to do community service bc it ws like taken seriously even tho it ws his first proper offence. doin it rly exhausted n depressed him so when he wsnt doin tht he ws just hibernatin in his room……. this ws like 2/3 months ago nw mayb bt... just some fun lore fr u all

in a new development in terms of sexuality i jst am nt quite sure……. hes always thot he ws straight… fooled around w a 90s hugh grant lookalike once n ws jst a bit like :/ my rocks rnt blasted off? bt who knows wht the future holds… who KNOWS wht the future holds ladies n gentlemen

born in sheffield in england, bt they went back and forth between there n san fran a lot jude was an unhappy accident. his parents never rly used protection bc they were super Liberal n Au Naturel n believed in the pull out method bc… they were maniacs. bt then the ONE time they used a condom in an effort to b safety conscious it broke n hence…. jude was born

they just kind of ran w it bc they had such a passionate relationship tht they were like What The Hell…. may as well! itll be fine we’ll learn to be good parents n love him like normal ppl do

spoiler alert: tht didn’t work out

they were ok to him like they weren’t abusive or anything like that bt they just found him to be a massive burden n hindrance to their plans. they literally….. had sex all day every day n acted like a pair of teenagers. it ws a super weird environment for a kid to grow up in bc he literally had no role models or… guidance or…. anything rly. occasionally they’d joke around w him or pretend they even knew what grade he was going into but for the most part they just Didn’t Care one bit

they were both suuuuper into the arts. they’re both rly good sculptors bt they paint too n they actually own a successful gallery in san fran

as a result he grew up around a lot of creative n sometimes pretentious ppl. the friends of his parents were more present in his life than his ACTUAL parents bc they were always jetting off to diff countries to scout out new pieces fr their galleries n just have a gd time in beautiful places without…. the annoyance tht ws their son forcing them to b responsible n look after someone else. tbh some of his parents friends were rly damaging too bt….i won’t go into that just yet. it doesn’t rly…need properly explaining bc jude never talks abt it anyway n it….is rather triggering so i’ll jst….leav it for now tbh fgkhdfgh. basically they just were Not Nice n jude had a lot of bad memories he keeps repressed

bc of how he ws raised he has a p cultured taste. he luvs classic lit n p much anything artsy. he can play piano 2 n sometimes gets rly high n thinks he’s mozart level gd at composing. i mean he’s gd bt… Calm Down Jude. personality wise he acts out sometimes bc he’s so frustrated. he tried rly hard to be someone his parents wld care abt by doing wild or stupid things so he’d hav funny stories to tell them n tbh sometimes it works n he gets them to laugh w him but it isn’t a parent/son bond n it never rly wil b.

he’s rly sarcastic, sleeps around a bit, has an overflowing secret sketchbook n if he cares abt someone he’ll probably draw them n get rly defensive if they find out abt it fkjgdhfkj bcos he’s an Independent Boy without a sentimental bone in his body. or so he says. at heart he is jst a very Sad Boy w lots of repressed issues like depression genuinely just does NAT giv him a single break bt he plasters over this w wise cracks n never discusses his emotions ever. he’s actually p decent or at least tries to b. he’s kind of like tht bit in superbad where michael cera gets rly drunk n makes a toast to women. tries to b? a feminist bt sometimes fucks up n offends ppl n is like dam….. my bad fr :/

he has p bad insomnia so he like never sleeps fgjkhfgjkf he always has rly sleepy eyes n rubs them tiredly mid conversation. he smokes a lot of weed to try n compensate fr this n make him tired bt he still struggles a lot

ANYWAY that aside he’s at lockwood doing fine arts. he luvs painting n photography n philosophy n all tht. a pretentious fiend sometimes? maybe_so.gif. he isn’t rly pushy abt it tho n tends to like.... take nothing seriously bt at the same time acts like he is??? like he’s very deadpan in everything he does

ummMMMMmm honestly idk i’m blankin on what else to say. ull find him smoking weed reading an american classic or gnawing at his thumbnail n getting charcoal smudges on all his clothes. wandering the streets eating frm a cereal box without care in public. he’s p broody n scruffy n he’s mostly here fr a good time. o and he’s That Guy that would die fr morrissey (his vibe not personality bc i hc jude was depressed n shut himself inside all day when he actually found out what a dick he is dfjkfhg) and all that stone roses the smiths etc stuff music wise. HMU FR PLOTS!!!!!! i’m down fr anything

[hadesims]

get to know me!!

i was tagged by @leisuref0rce (ty omg) andd am gna tag @waluigisims @simstxt @kitsugarden @ephemeralsimsx and @daisy-glasses (only if u want ofc)

are you named after someone? first name no, middle name is a longer "feminized" version of an uncle i never talk to lol

last time i cried? i teared up the day before yesterday watching american ninja warrior when the mom hit the button i was so proud (and have mood swings) but real cry was probably a month ago (thx tuition)

do i use sarcasm? sometimes?? with friends maybe but not rly

first thing i notice about a person? i want to say smth cool like vibe or aura but its more like if they have colored hair and what their smiles like (sounds corny but its one of the most unique things abt ppl and helps me tell faces apart) (also smiles r cute) THOUGH if were talking abt online its little words!! like little things they say for example i started talking to @kitsugarden recently (ily) and she says "sick" sometimes which is cool and not smth any of my friends use so i like it

whats your eye color? blue thats rly light around my pupils and makes me look rly wide eyed

scary movies or happy endings? i definitely lean happy endings but im gna cheat bc scary movies with happy endings 😢😍😍

special talent? phew uhhh im p good and fast at making friends ig? also i can pop my knuckles over and over again and it sounds like driving on gravel

birthplace? shitty small town in the south midwest

hobbies? drawing (esp. character design), writing, dnd, board games, video games (sims obvs, dragon age, and skyrim), and rereading homestuck every three months but never finishing it

pets? none that are officially mine, but i live w my parents in the summer and they have 3 dogs and a cat (zooey, buford, maisel, and mustachio, respectively) tho our outside stray (butter) just had a litter and ive got an eye on a kitten i named chex mix

do/have u played any sports? now NO lmao i wld Rather Die but i was on the swim team for like 7+ years and did marching band in highschool

height? mentally? 6'3" physically? 5'4"

fav subject in school? ive been an english hoe since highschool, but im abt to start digital art/animation classes that i think ill rly love (i also like algebra. not all math, just alg. thank u)

dream job? storyboarding/character design/writing for an animation studio like dreamworks or smth but if tr*mp gets reelected im going to law school. direct action babes

that was the last w but i dont wanna end it w he-who-shall-not-be-named so im adding one:

what colors do u associate w happiness and why? this is a weird q but i added it bc i was thinking abt my happiest memories and how theyre all painted a saturated orangey yellow (with touches of dusky purple. like sunset!) and am curious abt other ppls color associations!

[readmylip-s]

thank u, next.

so here we are, a week left until we usher in the new year. 2018 is probably one of the more major roller coaster rides i’ve had for a while now. i’ve had quite a few accomplishments and fcos the usual emotional-down-turns. i’ve also had tons of blessings and a lot of lessons learnt through the year. i’ve always been told to count my blessings so thats exactly what i’ve been doing. 

if you know me you’d know i prefer keeping my social circle small, though it may not seem that way on socmed. but thats the thing, thats social media. i dont revolve my life around social media. i think i’ve said this way too many times - what you see is only what i choose to show. on a personal level, i rlly prefer the company of a small group of people, even if it means just hanging out with one or two friends. i think 2018 is also the year i’ve had one of the most me-time. i enjoy going to the movies alone, having the entire couple seat to myself, i love sitting at starbucks sipping on GT Cream or seasonal drinks and occasionally with a plate of beef pie. teehee.

i’ll prolly share some positive and not so positive highlights of my year, as well as all the blessings i’ve had through the year. 

this year, just like the past 2 years, i landed myself in the hospital. 

pretty much because of the same old issues i’ve been having. was put on oxygen supply for quite a fair bit, had multiple needles poked through my skin, and multiple bags of glucose. it was a crazy period because it was during the fasting month and prior to the hospitalization, i was fasting. and even when i was in the a&e and eventually warded, i was still not allowed to have food. i was cranky, i was upset and best of all? i felt like i was gna faint. i was due for surgery, again, the next day so i couldnt eat. but i was a rebel. during the night, i secretly chewed on Mr Bean pancake that my brother got me when he accompanied me for a bit. so glad i didnt get caught hehe. fast forward, post surgery, i ate like a monster. the little brother was supposed to fly off the next morn for his school trip but he still came to visit me during the night. he even brought me bubble tea?! i was discharged after what seemed to be a torturous 3d2n staycation at NTFGH. 

2018 was the year i get to tick off certain things in my bucket list. i finally, finally did something i really wanted to do.

i got myself a septum piercing. its a pretty unorthodox thing considering how i dress and all but hey, a girl can dream, and make her own dreams come true. it was on a very random sunday that i decided to get it. but i’m kinda glad i did. i guess all the needles from all my hospitalizations helped me coped with the needle that poked through my septum. pretty sure this is only gna be a phase so all you hateful people, shut your trap. hahahaha. :)

also this year, i finally got to climb a mountain again. 

it was DFOALC’s first overseas staff expedition. (no, i wouldnt consider pulau ubin ‘overseas’, haha) it was the toughest climb i’ve had of all the 4 climbs i’ve done before. in summary - my injury acted up during the ascend and descend, and i also almost lost my life to Gunung Berembun. i survived, alhamdulillah. i just needed my cast when i got back to Singapore. phew. 

moving on to counting my blessings, i call them my constants. 

#4. 

its no surprise that AY is one of the greatest blessing i never knew i needed in my life. i never know where to begin when it comes to how beyond blessed i am for his presence in my life. its still so surreal how we were friends for the longest time and now we’re planning for a future together?! WHAT. hold on, time! 

it is rlly crazy how this whole love thing works. but whatever that is, it has brought so much joy in my life. and AY has made me the happiest kid ever since we began our journey in chasing NZ! thank you, AY. you’re so bloody amazing, and i can’t wait to spend forever and a day with you. dont know what i did to deserve you but i’m glad i did. x

#3.

my bestfriend; nurul. we went through our poly days together, and even when we were separated in to different classes, we still made it a point to have lunch together atleast once or twice a week. clingsterzx much. we even applied for the same job together and among our group of friends who applied, only the two of us got it. is this fate or what?! thank you sissy for being there, always. and for always being the one with the sneaky pick me ups, and listening to all my sob stories. but please dont degil when i try to help you find a boyfriend??? but if you insist then i hope you find your oppa lah okay. we have had our differences and our bumpy ride but what doesnt kill us makes us stronger, yes? so much love for you, sissy! x

my other bestfriend, zulh.jsmn. this photo is the exact representation of our bestfriendship. he annoys the living shit outta me but i have got no choice but to accept him the way he is. unlike nurul, this one is lowkey always asking me to find him a girlfriend. smh. your day will come soon, buddy. i’m grateful for all the times you made sure i was always in check. also for being my guitarist bcus i’m that much of a loser who cant play the guitar, and most importantly for the letter you wrote to me 5 years ago for me to look back to when i feel like the worst person on earth. oh and all the times you traveled down for me just to send food that you cooked so i’d have food to break my fast with during my internship?!?! you always have the most interesting gifts for me whether its for my birthday or just a random gift. the box of clouds from genting, i still have it! appearing in Chicago with SD and a guitar to sing me a birthday song at midnight for my 19th birthday. and the lantern we flew for my 20th birthday in Tennessee at midnight? i choose to believe its still flying somewhere in the sky! thank you, buddy for everything. smell ya in futura tomato saucin, buddiok! #OHOS #GBT #NZV lives! 

#2

my sister, SD. oh sisthur, the resemblance we have is uncanny. it is no wonder people automatically recognize us as sisters through photos. our taxi stand incident will always be etched at the back of my mind. it is one i would never forget bcus it is that one short incident that led us to how close we are up till today. though things cannot be exactly how i imagined it to be, i’m still glad i have you almost entirely. here’s to more sisthur hangz! sayang sawah! x

#1

and of course, my number one constant, my only older brother. you suck and you’re such an idiot but you care for me in ways no other human would. no one, and i rlly mean no one, can ever take your place in my life, for blood is thicker than water. i promise, to always make you proud of me. and i too promise that when the day comes that you shed your tears for me, i’d cheer you up and promise to always be the same baby sister you grew up with. thank you, for calling me your bestfriend, and for loving me with all your life. growing up together hasnt been an easy feat but i’m glad our rivalry only lasted through the times we wore the same sneakers, shared the same room and have the same mp3 player. you rlly suck sometimes but i love you every other day. x 

/wow so much of a summary and a wrap up, nurfa./

but yep, these pretty much sums up my 2018. fcos there were pockets of crazy shit that happened through the year; from suffering cuts and bruises bcus of anxiety attacks, to losing my sanity, to falling out of a relationship, to my injury and to losing friends i thought who would be around a little longer. 

some other things i ticked off my bucket list was meeting Haqim Mokhtar and watch him perform live, singing on stage (i got to sing with sufian suhaimi!), being present for TLV gigs, and fcos, completing my desired Nike Collection hehehehe.

i am very much thankful to God for allowing me to unlearn and relearn whatever i needed to. i dont really do resolutions but in 2018, my goal was just to seek happiness. i’m glad to say that i have achieved my goal of being happy. and in 2019, i pray for constant happiness with the people i love most, and for inner peace. may 2019 be the year i break the chain of having to be hospitalized, and may 2019 also be the year of recovery. 

x, nvrfa 

1623 | 23rd December 2018

[flatwoulds]

OKAY i told myself I’d post this and let this be it and just get over it BUT I’m still pissed so,,, I’m gna vent. Just scroll past if u don’t wanna read kdkd I just need to get this shit out.

[[MORE]]

My friend got a bf a little over 2 months ago ish I think but ever since they got together she’s been ditching me and my other friend (if ur reading this hi king 😘😘) to hang w her bf instead which is super frustrating. Whenever we try to make plans we always invite her to come along but she always says no bc she’s working (reasonable) or bc her bf is off so she’s gonna b w him instead. It’s really making me feel frustrated bc it’s like. She won’t even give me/us the time of day anymore. The last time I hung out w her was last week and it was the first time I had seen her since graduation. She came over late and we talked for a while. She had brought snacks which was cool and we got doordash to my house from a local bar. While we were waiting for the food we took a walk around my neighborhood and got [redacted], which is cool, i love doing that stuff w friends!! But after we watched a movie and she went right to bed and we like. Didn’t talk at all. It feels like she only comes to my house bc she knows I almost always have [redacted] and she doesn’t know anywhere else to get it, and it just makes me feel like that’s the only reason she’s keeping me around. BUT ANYWAYS today I woke up around 11 to a text from her saying something like “hey I got cut from work early today do u wanna do something” and I was like hell yes let’s go to the beach!! And she was like yeah I’ll come over after I take care of my plants! So I got all ready to go and had a nice cooler full of snacks and stuff for the beach and I waited for her to get to my place so we could walk to the beach but she never showed. So around 1 I was like “hey r u coming or not” and she told me that she had decided not to come bc she was w her bf instead. This was super frustrating bc like. It would have been nice to know you weren’t coming before I spent money on food and shit even tho I’m jobless rn. She was like me and my bf can meet u at the beach now tho and I was like sure! That sounds fun! And then an hour later she decided she didn’t want to AGAIN bc her bf had to go to work at 4 and there wouldn’t be enough time to hang at the beach. After that she offered to hang out while her bf was at work but I was just. So tired at the point I said I wasn’t feeling good. So instead I played sonic forces and just stewed in my frustration on the couch. but like. Sometimes idk if what I’m feeling is right for the situation bc I can be overly sensitive bbut rn I’m just so annoyed w her and I’m not sure if I should be??

What is it abt teenaged girls that makes them go crackheaded the second they get a bf

[happyhippystuff]

jun 01

its the start of a new month and the second half of the year !!! 

it has been such a strange period that we have all collectively lived through. but also somehow, its becoming the new normal - takeouts, face masks, zoom/skypes, food delivery and WFH. as restrictions are starting to lift, i can’t help but feel anxious bc i have been so accustomed to the comfort of my home, and functioning behind a screen. as much as i am excited to physically see people again, it also feels strange. but i know, i’ll adapt :-)

yesterday, i went to bed thinking: what if on the first day of work, when they actually physically see me, they regret their decision because i look the way i do - sometimes, i can’t help but feel like my height plays to my disadvantage when it comes to job hunting, and i feel an intense need to prove myself. 

but personally, i felt that CB was very timely - it came at a point where i left a toxic workplace, supposedly to start an internship at another place which eventually got suspended and also, just returned from a couple of short/mid trips with the bf. 

in a way, i thought it was a good time for me to be away from people, and to really be with myself. not gna lie that the fact that everyone’s timeline has been put on a standstill gave me some comfort because then, i didn’t feel like i was missing out. it gave me the time and space i needed to sort out certain things that i’ve carried over from my previous work experiences. and also, just to really recuperate. i think i’ve always underplayed the impact that it had on me, but being in such an emotional environment did wear me down significantly. beyond that, it was also a lot of exploring, finding healthier coping mechanisms, and trying new things which i’ve never gave myself the permission to. 

having never really been an extrovert, CB wasn’t relationally hard for me friends wise. i’ve probably had less than 7 online meetings with friends and i was super okay with just being on my own. sometimes, i didn’t even feel like meeting my friends online HAHA but okay, it made me realise that i need to be intentional when it comes to r/s. but i was very okay. 

boyfriend wise, i guess it was different bc the bf has became an attachment figure in my life. also, we probably spent a lot of time tgt prior to CB even though we don’t rly do things but its the physical presence of a person. sometimes, its hard when i don’t see a person because then things start to feel unreal. but i think its really to practice object permanence and to know that love is not a feeling. some days, i question if this is love but i am always thankful, to have had an anchor verse. also, i think it helped me to realise that differences are okay. but ya, sometimes i also realise to not take things for granted - as much as we are both quite okay with being apart, it is also to still make the effort to love. but anyway, i would think that i’ve gotten more secure (??) in the r/s and love is a choice (!!!!!) 

spiritually - i think its the ease and convenience of everything from home HAHAHA and i’ve been making small attempts to be more aware of His presence even though i am not very consistent, but i do think that it has helped me. sometimes, it only occurs to me in retrospect, but this is definitely sth that i will want to keep up post CB (!!!) even if, its as simple as reading a verse a day, or what, it all countssss. i think, the lack of distraction during CB rly helped (!!!).

this is such a lengthy post i am tired HAHAHA.