#gkdhjldhfkd

[bitubific-blog]

glowing (m)

hi, this is my first time posting a fic!! please know that it includes smut, so by all means block this acc if it makes you feel comfortable! 

hyunsik x reader, based on some feelings i had a while ago

thanks for reading!!

most days you want your body to shrink into itself. most days you clutch your thighs so close to your chest as if, somehow, they would fall into the vortex of your heart and be small for once. most days you see your body as anything but worthy to fall beneath anyone's eyes.

but everyday, hyunsik is beautiful. and every night he softens the tips of his fingers so he can use them to remind you you're monumental.

tonight, you are stubborn in believing in your ugliness. your thighs, which feel misplaced in hyunsik's bed, expand so much its like you haven't grown, but instead the world around you keeps shrinking.

somehow, hyunsik always fits. he watches your fingers clawing quietly at your skin. his eyes cross up and down in hurt. he'd never meant to let you see yourself like this.

he knows he cannot win you with words tonight; your ears are cancelling the affirmations in his chest. instead, he speaks with the hands kept tender for you. hyunsik's hand dives beneath your own. he holds them away from your thighs and grips them tightly. as he kisses beneath your fingernails you are immobilized, left only to watch his lips curling gently on your hands.

hyunsik returns the silence to your mind, as if he'd heard the buzzing inside of it. he sits closer, now merely inches in front of you. with one hand he holds your back upright, soothing the anxiety that threatened to outburst. the other runs trails over your thighs, and you swore the words "i love you" were etched onto your skin in cursive, louder than his devastation when he saw that you hated your body.

tonight, he is not as gentle. he kisses you with such ferocity you begin to lose the taste of self hatred in your mouth. he bites on your lips just hard enough you whimper carelessly, more so as his mouth wanders beneath your jaw and over your collarbones.

amidst the cries that lay dormant in your throat, his teeth fall loose and he pulls away. hyunsik takes your hand again, placing it above his thighs, while he holds his other hand above yours. staring deeply into your eyes, he whispers, "y/n, let me do this." his finger falls beneath your shirt, slowly driving down the hem of your shorts. "let me show you that i love you. and your body. and everything you are. please."

all your words well up in your chest. every "i love you," "i'm sorry you saw me like this," and "thank you," expanding in your throat. but all that emerges between your lips is his name, which tangles into the air and into his lungs. he always loved hearing it from you the most. this is the only answer he needed.

his carefulness is taken over by aggression, by desperation, leaving faint marks with his fingers and his teeth. you are loved, and you know this from the low hums that barely make it beyond his throat. you force yourself silent to hear his voice, but soon enough you are singing with him. hyunsik's hands grow hungrier each second - before you realize you are already helping him undress you. the sound of your clothes falling to the ground is outmatched by the breath against your ear, as he drags you even closer to him. his chest is grinding against your breasts, while his hands slowly ease your underwear away from you. hyunsik travels down your skin again, far enough that your nipples are encased in the warmth of his mouth. hyunsik spares no time to tease you, biting immediately as your moans grow louder and louder.

on your own, you become an orchestra by the time his hands are between your legs. your voice rises and falls, barely in sync with the rhythm of his fingers. he rubs you gently first, before he enters you with one finger then the other. hyunsik's hand dives deep inside of you and you surrender, ready to swallow him whole.

but on your own, you are not enough. there is still guilt swimming in spite of how much he lets you float above him. you draw his arms to a halt, beckoning his eyes to yours like a magnet. "i love you," you whisper gently, slipping your fingers between the buttons of his shirt. while he's dazed in astonishment you peel his shirt away, revealing the torso that carried his heavy heart. you move forward to kiss him, mimicking the trails he'd left on your skin, while you take off the remainder of his clothing. he is monumental; glowing and hard and beautiful and you want him inside of you. the exchange of eye contact is all he needs to realize this.

he climbs up onto the bed, laying flat besides you. "i want to see you," he says, pulling you on top of him. the silence is short lived. without second thought you hover yourself over him and slowly drop. you shudder all the way down until you hit the base of his member. his eyebrows furrow - a sigh of relief that you aren't the only one drowning in ichor. slowly, hyunsik rolls his hips beneath you, relishing in the way your body buckles in response. his hands glue themselves to your hips, provoking them to be anything but still. so you begin your motions, lifting up to crash gently against his skin. the two of you meet halfway. slowly at first; hyunsik navigate inside of you. your hands close shyly above his. and then, both of you unfold. your moans grow louder, his breathing stretches out more, two voices intertwining to form the perfect symphony. neither of you can hear how loudly you fall onto one another, or how greatly the bed shakes from the magnitude you both create. you utter his name like a mantra, caught in the heat of the air around you. hyunsik abandons his silence. he tilts his head backwards, trying to hide his deep bellows with the beads of sweat rolling down his neck.

hyunsik sits upwards now. you fall forward on his chest with your arms around his neck for support. he thrusts quicker and quicker into you and your voice jumps. it stutters. hyunsik has found each spot your body begged him to, and now it's like he'll never let go. he aims perfectly, and every time he does a bell strikes in your chest and you sing.

the two of you are ready to combust. his mouth bites down on your breasts again while his thumb twirls around your clitoris. you are at crossroads between your body and your mind, between succumbing to defeat and wishing for the moment to last forever.

hyunsik makes the final call for you. throwing himself deeper and deeper into you until even he is outmatched by his force. the both of you come undone in each other's arms, shaking at the mutual release. you both come on one another. you are both sticky, messy, and sweaty, but both of you are truly shining. hyunsik moans - genuinely - as he unravels himself beneath you. you can't help but smile gently at him.

there is an eternity between you both clutching onto each other before he finally pulls you down on the bed. you curl into him, no longer worried about being small enough for him to love. he latches onto you in your masses, and all the stickiness and sweat accompanying the afterglow. in spite of everything that had just occurred, hyunsik still possesses the strength to hold you close, each finger pressed firmly on your thighs. you drink his name, while he loops yours over and under his tongue.

and you never want him to let go.