#giving us the puzzles all at once at the very end was sooooo annoying

[lazzledazzler]

Lazzle's Rune Factory 5 Review

Alright so here are my thoughts and experiences with RF5! This is a big boy so buckle in earthmates...

Obviously this review will contain spoilers, read at your own risk.

Initial thoughts upon playing...

Great opening! I enjoyed the jazz music~ I did feel like it leaned a bit more towards the male player though. It definitely feels like a rune factory game. It's familiar, and controls are easy to get accustomed to for the most part. The mold is there and rf5 doesn't stray too far from its predecessors which is comforting for veterans. That being said, I'm not going to pull any punches and will critique this game harshly. Keep in mind as updates for the game are released not all things discussed in this review will be as relevant overtime!

Let's hear some thoughts on...

The story/plot. The plot is enjoyable overall. I'm not crazy about the whole Seed organization thing but it was a neat idea. They address the Sechs Territory and it is confirmed that the game takes place some decades after RF4. But by the end of it, I didn't feel like I really accomplished anything because it felt like I barely did anything really. Also they left a lot of stuff unanswered. I'm not even sure I understood the message they were sending, if they were trying to send a message at all. The main story is too short, and it doesn't involve enough of the townsfolk. You're basically doing everything yourself in secret the whole time and the townsfolk barely know what's actually going on. Out of the love interests, Lucas plays the largest part in the story, followed by Priscilla and Scarlett. The story feels targeted at male audiences--at least that's how I felt. You, the player, have a larger role in the game, much like in RF3 and I was glad to see this. As of right now there are only two arcs. Praying for DLC 3rd arc...!

Protagonists. The latest protagonists to join the crew of Earthmates are...decent. Their designs are nothing special unfortunately, though I appreciate Alice's more than Ares's. Appearance-wise they lack personality and creativity. Personality wise I am pleasantly surprised with how sociable they are. They're not exactly quick witted and sassy like Lest/Frey were in rf4, or as endearing as Micah in rf3, but they have a certain realness to them that makes their reactions to things believable. I'm certain Xseed will see to making them a bit more sarcastic in their localizing efforts, so let's all look forward to that. Overall though, while I appreciate their mannerisms, they don't really measure up to all the previous amnesiacs we've grown to love over the decades.

Characters. Overall I enjoy all the characters introduced in Rune Factory 5! I feel like there is someone for everyone in this game on some level. The voice acting was pretty good for every character. The designs are very much Rune factory. Like OG runefa, compared to rf4 ( 4 kind of strayed from their usual style) which I like. Characters still have their own signature quirks that you find endearing. Although I would have liked to see more variety? Like we've had mermaids, univir, half monsters, vampires, etc in previous titles but rf5 only gives us the usual (half) elf, dwarf, and then a succubus (physically she doesn't have unique features aside from the ears and heart eyes), and some were-people. I was hoping for something more unique to really give that classic runefa vibe.

Dungeons/Battles. I'm pretty split on this one. On the one hand, the dungeons have more depth due to the 3D aspects. They've included more contraptions that are very fun to see even if they aren't executed that well. So I'm grateful for that. On the other hand, the dungeons are insanely short imo. It doesn't take long at all to get to the boss. The puzzles are also pretty subpar and few compared to RF4. Fighting monsters is similar to the other games. You can lock on now but I only use it when I'm trying to use my Seed Circle. The lock on feature is actually counter-intuitive and makes it harder to dodge. Weapon mechanics have shifted a bit. There’s a feature that makes you invincible to damage if you time the R button dash correctly. Axes and Hammers are significantly slower than in older games? Like. I thought I was in slow motion it was so slow. Lances are also harder to use as well? I'm questioning my sanity here. I don't know if it's a bug or intentional either.

Farming. Not much has changed from previous games mechanics wise. They added new types of special crops which is neat. The camera view changes to overhead when you go near your fields though, and it can make you dizzy/uncomfortable. It actually makes it a bit difficult to see at times so I wish there was a way to adjust the angle. If you are tilling corn or dried weeds to improve the soil, you need to place them separately if you don't want to use the entire stack. Otherwise, it will till the entire stack on the land if you place them all down at once. The flower shop is unlocked late in the story. Weird thing to do considering you need flowers to make medicine. Not to mention the fact that you wont have access to the fertilizer that increases defense against typhoons? During typhoon season? Thinking emoji...

The town. I have to say Rigbarth's design is poor compared to Sharance, Selphia, etc. It's too big and it takes too long to get around. Everything is too spaced out and there aren't enough warp points to make it easier on players. I don't want to walk an entire mile up a hill to talk to one person and then walk all the way down to the beach to speak to another. It doesn’t really feel like a ‘town’.

OST/BGM. Music was good, though nothing really stood out to me where I'd go "damn this slaps" or something. I think they might've had some old soundtracks from rf2 or something because it felt really nostalgic at times.

We need an exterminator. (Bugs Bugs Bugs)

Marvelous, I don't know how to tell you this buuut...your customers are NOT your testers. When you release a game, you need to make sure it's not littered with glitches because customers don't enjoy dealing with them and will drop the game!

Here are some of the types of glitches I encountered:

Crashing. Game would randomly crash or freeze and close at any moment. Sooooo frustrating! Sometimes you get lucky with the autosave feature, but the autosave only activates every morning at 6am in your room and then when you warp to a dungeon level/floor. So when you're in the middle of your daily tasks in town and it crashes, you have to start all over. Marveloussss no one enjoys losing their progress in a game I promise you that much.

Lag. The dialogue bar is seriously slow, especially after loading your file. Crafting/Cooking screen lags. When you press the Y button to skip through dialogue it lags like hell. Pretty much after every time you load the game will lag, the audio will lag if you're in a battle, everything is just. so. slow.

Repeating dialogue. So if you close your game entirely (or if it crashes) naturally you'll reload your file to continue where you left off. There's a bug that will cause all NPCs to repeat the last dialogue that occurred from whatever plot related thing you did last. So for example, if the last thing you did in the story was unlock Ludmilla, everyone in town will naturally have some dialogue about her. But even after seeing all this dialogue and even saving, if the game is closed and reloaded you'll have to read all that dialogue again from townsfolk. It got really annoying after a while.

Monster taming. One time I tamed a monster but once I named it and hit 'ok' the monster never showed up in my barns? Just. gone. Okaaaay then...? Additionally, I expanded one of my monster barns but all of the monsters I tamed wouldn't appear in the added room. You get 4 monsters for each room but the monsters I tamed would show up in the original room. Meaning I had like 7 monsters in one room! I tried to bring them into the newly added room but they would just warp back to the other room. Sad.

Pond Glitch. I fished in the pond located in Sasayaki Forest and left the fish I caught but didn't want laying around the water's edge. If you leave fish around the pond's edge and go to sleep, the next morning you will be teleported to the pond and trigger the fairy dialogue as if you had thrown all of the fish into the pond??? So the dialogue of her telling you she wants 'X item, not this!' will trigger over and over for all of the fish you left at the water's edge. RIP.

Party member Bug. I had Martin in my party and I made him leave. Then when I went into my monster barns to get a monster pal to join me instead it showed me Martin's portrait???? Also I've encountered a bug where I can no longer ask anyone to join my party for some unknown reason. The R &L button prompt was just gone when I reloaded.

Errors. When cooking or crafting, the dialogue box shows up sometimes...

Typos. Random average typo here and there. Not a real biggie but there is one instance where the heroine will use the japanese male pronoun "boku" instead of "watashi" which really convinced me that this game was completely intended for men lol.

Let's talk about Pros

The good stuff. The stuff that makes you all warm and fuzzy inside.

Plot Advancing. Now I'm gonna put this as a pro because I'm certain the average player will enjoy this even though I do not. There are now markers on the map to show you where to go to advance the plot. This is all well and dandy, but it also made the story less appealing for me because you don't need to go around town and speak to residents for clues or assistance to advance anything in the story.

3D Graphics The 3D models are all amazing. The interior designs of the houses/buildings are also incredibly detailed and realistic.

Collecting items. Now there's a feature that will allow you to collect items into your inventory just by walking over them. This is pretty neat and welcome for the most part. Once the item is sparkling, you can walk over it and it'll go into your rucksack automatically. This also makes lumbering and mining go much faster. Yay!

The miraculous L pocket. Now you can customize the categories that appear in your L pocket by going to the rucksack tab in the menu. This is a super neat feature that makes things easier on players who want to manage their items in a format that suits them.

Weapon/Tool Toggling. You can now toggle between your equipped weapon and tool by pressing the left or right buttons on the trackpad.

Collecting lumber/material stone. Oh lord this is probably the most welcome improvement moving forward from the previous game. You can now put all of the lumber and material stone from your inventory into its storage at once. This also applies to fodder for tamed monsters. Well done Hakama.

Autosave. This feature is a welcome addition to the series. The game will save your data every morning and every time you enter a dungeon. Autosave has really saved my ass a few times when I made a huge error in judgement so I'm incredibly grateful for this feature. And it doesn't save over your actual save file--there's a separate autosave file at the very top. So if you messed up something but already saved on your main file, you can still salvage your mistake by reloading the autosave! I just wish it activated a bit more often sometimes.

Warping. Now we can warp to each level in a dungeon as well as certain places on the map in town. It's pretty convenient for the most part.

Increased party members. Now you can have up to 3 members in your party! Hooray! Party members act more intelligently than in older games. Scarlett can use the Seed circle to assist you in fights. I think she also tosses healing potions at you occasionally. So far, no one has tossed a dish at me if I haven't eaten like Kiel and Clorica did in rf4. But I have been hit by a failed dish (from reinhardt?) and a healing potion (from scarlett). Scarlett, Priscilla, and Reinhardt are the most helpful when dungeon crawling in my experience. Some of them however, (looking at you Doug) don't shut the hell up with their one line of dialogue they have and repeat it constantly.

Seed Circle. This neat feature allows you to capture monsters. By charging it and releasing you can capture monsters for the bounty system or add them to your party temporarily. If you throw it without charging it, you can stun monsters in place momentarily or grab things from far away. When stunning monsters, it can also give you the monster's drop item occasionally. Unfortunately it uses a lot of RP so it can be difficult at times.

Combo attacks. This is a neat feature that I appreciate and use often for boss fights. They do some serious damage so it's good to save them for the bosses. The actual cutscenes aren't that impressive, and feel kind of subpar when you get down to it but I think it's a start in the right direction.

Farm Dragons. I'm listing this as a pro although I really just see it as a new feature. Farm dragons have fields on their backs that you can place monster barns on and farm on. Giving them certain crystals will give your fields boosts in certain criteria, like length of growth, soil quality, you get it. I personally don't use the crystals because I couldn't give a shit lmao I have men and women to woo here. But if you're into this kinda thing then it's a pro.

Storage. When opening your storage box, fridge, etc. you can actually hit the R & L buttons to switch between ALL of your other storages. Looooove thissss. Great addition. So much faster to put items away in their respective places.

Crafting/Forging. Now we can also use the R & L buttons to alternate between the different weapon types/accessory/gear types instead of having to exit the menu and going back in each time you want to make something different.

Cooking. More recipes have been added. Yay!

Days are longer now. More time to get shit doneeeee ayyyy

Fishing. They've added many more fish to the game! Now the player will shout something when you get a bite, making it easier for you to hit B at the right moment. Nice. Also if you fail or press B too early, the fish doesn't vanish most of the time. Also nice. There is now a feature to fish with another person's assistance. Once a day you can investigate the sign near the fishing station and someone might offer to lend you a hand. Press the B button at the right moments on the slider and you can get a rare fish that can't be caught normally.

Monsters. New types of monsters! Love the designs. Even the monsters that are the same but just have different skins are really neat. They look great in the 3D format too. You can even ride with up to two people on certain monsters! Some bosses had awesome designs while others...were bad.

New Types of Furniture. The carpenter store has a wide arrange of furniture you can buy for your home. It also has wallpapers and stuff which is really neat. Though unfortunately you can't even sit on some of the furniture so that's a shame.

Events. Now there is a system where events are triggered by approaching an icon on the map. This is probably an improvement to RF4's randomized system, though personally I found it annoying because it meant that I had to see the events before I could just enter a building normally. Sometimes I just wanted to get shit done and not have to read through walls of text for someone's love event when I just want to buy something.

Voiced Lines. The protagonist seems to have more voiced lines, as do other characters. Good!

Let's talk about Cons

Not including glitches. Oh boy. So many cons. Where do I start?

Dialogue. Probably the most notable con in the entire game. The dialogue is drastically minimal in comparison to previous games, especially rf4. There is probably a quarter of the amount of dialogue compared to rf4's insane amount of content if not less. Townsfolk repeat themselves. Often. Too often. Am I playing Harvest Moon? Originally I thought it was because the dialogue is randomized, but I think it's actually because more dialogue is unlocked as you raise townspeople's FP. Despite this, there's no linear build up where you start off as acquaintances and eventually become very close like in rf4 because of how sporadic the LP/FP is. Townsfolk don't even talk to each other. One of the greatest perks about runefa is the conversations townsfolk can have with one another. Residents randomly gathering in small groups to talk about anything. Previously you could add someone to your party and sometimes a dialogue will occur if you speak to the right person at the right time with that person in your party. This is nonexistent now. The only time they do this in rf5 is during the festivals. But, it will only trigger if you have unlocked all the characters in each marriageable lineup and they can't be in your party. The residents will talk about one another but that's pretty much it outside of town events. They got rid of all the minor dialogue that occurs too. Trying to sleep in someone's bed while they're right there? They wont comment. Inspecting objects in stores while the shopkeeper is present? Wont say anything. Take a character with you to a dungeon/boss fight? Their lips are sealed. Where's my sense of community? :(

FP/LP This ties into the dialogue issue. The rate at which LP/FP increases is sporadic as hell. You can go from 1FP/LP to 4FP/LP just by giving a gift sometimes. I wouldn't even speak to people and their affinity increased by like triple for no reason. Then it increases by like 2% for the longest time. Argh!!!

Graphics. I don't consider myself very picky when it comes to graphics. I don't really mind that the foliage and scenery are at the level of a ps2 game at best. I tried playing on my television initially, but the lag and camera operability was too much so I fully switched (haha puns) to handheld. One thing that sucked is that I literally cannot tell the difference between medicinal herbs, antidote grasses, and green grasses without the captions because the graphics are so indistinguishable. So when you're trying to pick up multiples of those items by holding the A button, you're just randomly walking over anything green in the hopes that you'll get the right ones...

Lack of Sound Effects. Something I noticed is they got rid of the sound effects that will play when you complete a puzzle or add someone to your party. When you try to brush a monster there's no sound for the '♪' they make when you successfully brush them. So it was hard for me to tell if I had actually brushed them or not. I was a bit saddened by the lack of cute sounds.

Too much free range. From the very beginning of the game, you're allowed to go pretty much wherever you want when leaving town. It was too easy to stumble into high enemy level territory without knowing, so when I was like level 5 so I got KO'd immediately.

Artwork. The portraits seem to be lower in quality somehow. Runefa has always had shitty portrait art imo but this time it's even worse. Many character's eyes looked fucked up. Though the 3D models are insanely good for mostly every character except Terry. Terry's 3D model looks Terryfying and I prefer his portrait.

Festivals. They've added some new festivals. Some I enjoy. Some not so much. They changed the format of the eating contest. It's horrible. Good luck with that one.

L pocket + R button? They got rid of the feature that lets you skip to the other end of your items when opening the L pocket by pressing R button. I really liked that feature because it made it faster to reach my items so I was bummed that they got rid of it.

Gotta go fast. Now when you speak to someone, it doesn't 'stop time' as you might say it did in previous games. So people are still moving about as you speak to someone, making it harder to catch up to people! Annoying!!!

Catch and release? Not in my farming simulator! Say goodbye to being able to toss a fish you caught back into the water. In fact, say goodbye to tossing anything you don't want anymore into the water. Now you just have an army of fish flopping on the ground around you. And with the auto pick up feature, they're probably going to end up in your inventory anyways once you try to move. There are still certain ponds with fairies that you can toss stuff into, but you'll have to deal with the fairy harping at you for giving her something she doesn't want.

Shop Hours. Oh god. The shop owners don't even open their stores at the correct hours? It says open at 9am. If you speak to them they won't open their store until like 9:07??? But Priscilla and Lucy will show up to work their part-time jobs at around 8:30am and you can buy stuff through them before 9am. So the actual shop owners (for the bread shop and general store) are pointless usually. Additionally, if the store is empty (but open) you can no longer add a shopkeeper into your party and then enter their store with them to buy things from them. Why. Just why. When you want to buy something that only a specific person sells (Only Hina sells fish, only Heinz sells misc items) you have to wait for them to finally decide to work in their own store. Wonderful.

Monster Item drops. Maybe I'm crazy but the monster drops are seriously a lot harder to get than in previous games. Especially boss drops. It's almost impossible to get the rare drops now. I don't even want to try anymore. And as far as I know, the only place to buy monster items is through Heinz, but his items are actually misc. items, not specifically monster drops. So you'll be lucky to check his store (whenever tf he decides to actually work) for any monster items you might want instead of farming for the drops. Sighs.

Difficulty. This game is too easy. There is little to no challenge whatsoever. I had to increase the difficulty setting to hard mode and it was still too easy. I beat it at level 139, never once did I need to grind or level. In fact, your character levels up way too quickly for the pace of the story. I had zero trouble with any of the bosses and even the final boss was a breeze. Quite sad. Though because I am not new to the franchise, it's likely that newcomers would have some trouble in the later parts of the story.

Fishing cons. Idk how you fck up fishing but they sure did. You have to stand further back now because the pole is so long that you'll miss the fish you're aiming for. In fact, it's seriously hard to aim period. You'll end up recasting more often than not. Fish come in the various sizes but they don't seem to have the darker or faded characteristics that can indicate whether it's a rare fish or not. The graphics make it hard to tell. The pros that i've already mentioned are welcomed but it doesn't negate the fact that I do not enjoy fishing like I did in previous games.

Mining/Lumbering Cons. You can no longer strike three times consecutively when mining/lumbering. This sucks lol. Even when you upgrade your axe or hammer, powering up the tool does nothing for getting wood and material stone--it only expands the area of your strike. So it takes longer to get wood/stone from stumps and rocks now since you have to strike the full 9 times but it's not too bad. It's also harder to aim now as well so that's also unfortunate.

Seasonal Fields? Kiss them goodbye! That's right, there are no seasonal fields in rf5 because devs are insane! You instead have the farm dragons that seem to look seasonal based on the fact that they are designed after elements like earth, water, and fire. But no, these dragons are simply extra fields for you to use. Here's a spoiler: you're not going to use those fields. You're just not. They're kinda useless unless you're obsessed with farming. Now you have to grow your crops out of season like the sad farmer that you are.

Farming cons. Seeds no longer tell you how long it takes to grow the crop. Why. As of June 29th, they fixed this with an update. But I still had to play the whole game without it so fuck you marvelous. The joystick is really sensitive? So when you're trying to use a fertilizer or something on your field you're likely to place it on the wrong 4x4 tile, wasting your fertilizer. So it’s best to hold down the R button when farming. Also the crops look uglie as hell.

Sleeping and warping cutscenes. Just like in rf4 there's a cutscene when you go to sleep that can be skipped easily by pressing A. In rf5, there's a cutscene to sleep and a cutscene when waking up. It takes a bit more than a second to skip these scenes so it gets annoying after a while. Warping is this new feature that replaces our beloved escape spell. Overall I appreciate the feature but I hate it for two reasons. One: there's an annoying ass cutscene for it each time you use it that could be much shorter. And Two: townsfolk now use warp even when inside the town. In previous games, someone exiting your party in town would just manually run to wherever they need to be. So you could easily chase after them if you need to talk to them or give them something. Now, party members use warp regardless of where you are at the time. So say you have someone at 7 hearts and you want to try confessing to them. You would have them join your party, save your game, and then have them leave your party and immediately speak to them and confess before they can run off. If it doesn't work you reload until it does. In RF5 this wouldn't work anymore because they will warp. Now you would have to save, run around town trying to find this person and hope they accept the confession. Otherwise you'll have to play hide and seek again because reloading your file will randomize the resident's locations (if they are not working in a shop)!!!! I often just waited until a festival day because then they will be at the plaza for most of the day and it has a warp point there.

Crafting/Forging/Cooking. They've removed the feature where you can press Y on the ingredients in the menu to add more of that particular item. I miss this feature :'(

Lacks incentive. There is no trophy room from my knowledge. The final dungeon that is meant to be like the sharance maze/rune prana isn't that hard to beat for skilled players and is only 20 floors. After you beat the main story and this dungeon there's not much else to do really.

Request Board. Unlike in rf4, you need to make sure you have accepted requests before you complete them or else it will not count. Previously, you could complete all sorts of tasks and Eliza would still recognize your work even if you accept their request after the fact. ie, shipping goods, harvesting crops, etc. So make sure you don't harvest your special crops before accepting the request it's for!

Return of the "Loli" Dragons... Yeah you read that right. We got more dragons in children's(???) bodies with skimpy clothes. I don't know anymore????¿¿¿

Can't marry the Milfs or Dilfs. Tragic.

Still no homo. Grow up Marvelous.

Reverse Proposal? Reverse Uno card-- Laid low by the patriarchy. You now have to buy the double bed and craft an engagement ring to propose to your man if you're playing as Alice. Marvelous this isn't what we meant when we said we wanted equal rightsssssss This can be seen as a pro if you're a softhearted babey who doesn't like rejecting bachelors' proposals because you feel bad :'( But this is a con for me because I don't want to spend money and materials on a double bed dammit!!!

Misc. Still can't stack dishes or fish. There's no green elemental fairy???All the other elemental ones are there except the green one? why??? Still can't tame the giant Wooly. Some bosses that have insanely awesome designs cannot be tamed and makes me wanna eat glass.

Let's talk about Love~

Relationships. We want them. And half of us only play these games for them. I've only played as the female heroine so far but I'll be updating this review as soon as I finish with the bachelorettes as the male hero.

Confessions

As usual, we must raise the love points of our beloved to 7 hearts before we can attempt to date them. However unlike in rf4, if you fail at a confession once, you will need to raise the LP up an entire level before you can try again with any chance of success. It's imperative you save before attempting a confession now.

Love Events

Each love interest has two love events that must be seen before you can date them. They're reminiscent of older game's style but I felt they could have been a biiiit more interactive or so? Or involved the town a bit more for some of them.

Dating

Once you get your honey to be your bf/gf, you get to choose the nicknames as usual. Then you can go on dates. The first three (non-festival) dates are actually events. You need to see all three events to get married.

Marriage Event

The final event you need to clear before you can marry your sweetie. In my honest opinion, so far for the boys, these events were rather disappointing. They lacked the drama and angst that sort of 'test' the love between the two when compared to rf4. Also this is a huge con for me personally and a minor spoiler but there are no special cutscenes at the end of the marriage event like in rf4. Instead, the cutscene takes place during your actual wedding. I was saddened by this because it took away the depth from the marriage events and the actual character? As it is just a cut and paste type of thing instead of an original cutscene for each person. They lack individualism this way. Also it kinda felt like a way for devs to avoid gay relationships and cut corners :^/....sus.

First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes...

Children!!!!!! This is actually one of the coolest additions in the game. Just like in rf3, you can have up to 3 children again! Your first child will resemble you, and you will have the option to choose its gender as well as its personality. There are 6 different children, (3 boys and 3 girls), all with different hairstyles, mannerisms, and seiyuus. Your answers will determine which child you get. A year after your first child is born, you will get the option to have a second child. You'll end up with twins, both resembling your partner. You won't get to choose the genders (it will be a boy and girl) but you will get to choose the personalities once more. The children all have canon names too and each kid is incredibly cute. And of course, you're still able to take your kid with you in your party~ ...Though you can only take one kid with you at a time.

So is RF5 good?

Yeah it's a fun game! My theory is that Marvelous forced the devs to release the game earlier than they were ready for, and that's why it's so lacking. But that doesn't mean it's not worth playing! I'd rate it 3.5/5 stars hehe. Not nearly as good as RF4 (full stop 5/5), or RF3 (4/5) but enjoyable nonetheless. I wouldn't recommend it as a first game to play from the series for newcomers though, I feel it's best for vets who can overlook all the cons thanks to loyalty and nostalgia. By the time it’s released in the West, the bugs should all be dealt with too.

So! Definitely buy this game! We want the series to continue and we want RF6 to be better than this--and hopefully Marvelous will make sure of that next time. If you're not a picky person I think you'll enjoy rf5 a lot. If you're like me and have high standards then, well, still pick it up and let it run its course. Then dust off rf4sp and cleanse your gaming palette >;^)

[weasvlys]

hiii, can i make a request? One where a hufflepuff goes on a date with fred to the astronomy tower to stargaze but at the end they kiss like real fluff and then he asks if she wants to join him in the shower and since she is a prefect they go to the prefects bathroom but like she is a virgin and yeah.

Hiii, sure dear! Here you have it.

And yes, i know it have sooooo many grammar mistakes, so yeah, sorry

And just a little reminder: I TAKE REQUESTS, even the really naughty ones? Yes! Even de multifandom ones? Yesss, even the orgy or threesome ones? YESS! Even the queer ones? YEEEEEES, so go on, and request!

- Xoxo, Vennus.

Stargaze.

Fred Weasley x Y/N (Female! Hufflepuff! Reader)

Warnings: Fluffffff, smutty, fingering, oral sex(kind of?), Sexual grafic content, and that's it, enjoyyyy

Words count: 2971

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Pssst" You listened as a ball of paper fell on your shoulder, you turned to see what it was about, it was Fred "Whaaat?" You responded looking at him acting annoyed at his interruption, but you didn't get mad at him, he was the nicest and funniest person that you've ever meet, he was sweet and cute, always walking around the school corridors with a big fluffy smile that makes your heart race every time you saw it, with that charming personality and that beautiful laugh that fascinates you. "See you in the Hufflepuff common room at midnight, I've got a surprise for you..." He said in a whisper, he seems nervous, as if something in your question was a lie, not all, but at least a part of it "In the Hufflepuff common room?" You asked to check, the voices of the other students overshadowed Fred, something that was very strange, he nodded "Of course" you said flirting, he only responded by spinning his eye in a certain way, a way that made you tremble, and now the idea of ​​stopping him just for you was exciting, encouraging more specifically.

The day began to pass and the wait became tortuous, you were wondering what the happy surprise would be, would it be a new joke now annoying Ron? or could it be a new product from his store? You had been in love with Fred since your second year, and now that they were at 6th, things were starting to feel more tense, and now that Fred had been a couple of months since he broke up with Angelina, you felt that you could finally reveal your feelings to him, however no moment was the right one, besides, if you did there was a great possibility of being rejected by him.

"Really? Bloody hell Y/N, this is your chance!" Hermione said excited after hearing your words "Shhhhh!" Ginny replied, equally excited "Mione, my brother will listen, shut up for once!" Whispered the redhead "I don't know girls... Possibly it's something else, I don't want to ruin the moment by saying something so uncomfortable to her, what if I ruined it forever?" You said puzzled, in your head there was no possibility that Fred Weasley was lovingly interested in you "Y/N, I know my brother, he definitely wants to go out with you, please! Just look at you!" Ginny said, in that motivating tone that she always had in her voice "Do you think?" You answered unsure "I know it, honey!" She answered, Those words had motivated you in an exceptional way, who better than Ginny would know her brother?

-----------

It was already midnight in the Hufflepuff common room, where you were waiting for Fred, you had to want to go anywhere else in the castle, this boy used to haunt the corridors at night and surprisingly he was never caught, he had an interesting taste for passageways, and it was not the first time that he came to your room late at night just to give you some stink bomb or gum with potion of truth, tangled in your thoughts you were taken by surprise by the sudden appearance of Fred under one of the barrels that was in the common room, "Come ... I have to show you something very special" he whispered and called you with his hand "Fred ... They will catch us" you said whispering in the same way "I promise it will not be like that ... Just come, you will love it." You snorted in exasperation, you couldn't argue with this boy. You got into the barrel and suddenly commented to slide down, as if it were a slide, You barely digested the feeling of falling suddenly when you felt that what was below you disappeared and you fell on a padded basket, it was clothes, were they in a laundry? Wow, definitely the castle would never stop surprising you "What are we doing here Weasley?" You asked the redhead who jumped out of the basket and held out his hand to help you out "You have to wait a while more beauty..." Fred replied, you took his hand to get out of the basket, still taking his hand, he guide you a couple of steps forward to a door, they left the room and started heading to a nearby painting, why anything seemed familiar to you? You had been studying and living the castle for almost seven years and you did not know this part of it? The painting was large, it was a girl reading while eating a strawberry, "Blow here" said Fred pointing to his bracelet, you did and suddenly the girl moved in surprise "If you want to enter just ask! Agh Weasley, it's you... Come in!" The girl repeated as she moved, letting you see a hole behind it, they entered and began to walk "How does she knows you, Fred?" You asked the redhead "You ask a lot of questions dear" he answered in such a charming way, boy did this boy make you shiver, you reached the end of the hall and Fred pushed the wall in front of you, it opened to reveal the astronomy tower.

It was not the first time you were there but if the first time for your own pleasure, it was beautiful, and on all the other occasions you had never noticed the many details that were in it, it was beautiful, you were so distracted admiring the metal structure that was in the center of it that you did not notice that Fred was no longer with you "Y/N! Come!" You turned to look at him, He had a beautiful smile painted on his lips, he was on the edge of the tower, where he looked at the stars, you thought you had never seen anything more beautiful than that boy, You approached him and he pointed to the sky, more specifically the stargaze that was there, it was beautiful, all that combination of colors and how each of the stars shone, it was wonderful, You have never looked at all this with such detail before as now, it was perfect, you could see how at the edge of your eye Fred was looking at you in such a beautiful way, it seemed that he was in love, What you did not know is he thought that he had never seen anything before and beautiful like you, so exceptional and irremediably beautiful.

He put his hand inside the pocket of his sweatshirt, you looked at him and he opened his hand, it was a paper bird, he began to fly around you, singing with his melodious voice, until it landed in your hands, "Open it" whispered Fred, you unfolded the paper bird and inside it was written "Look at him" You turned your gaze to Fred, and he took you by the face, you felt a mess in your stomach, like butterflies, you felt him slowly approach you, you could feel his minty breath brushing your lips, he got even closer, and you felt his lips brush against yours, all the thoughts and worries in your head disappeared, it's as if now only you and him existed, and nothing else will matter now, you felt how slowly his lips were sticking to yours and tenderly he moved them giving you a soft and needed kiss, her lips were clean and soft, they tasted like a sweet and refreshing lemonade, she smelled of cologne combined with a sweet and Christmas like ginger smell, you said your hands to her soft and long hair, you felt her long fingers slowly caress your cheeks, it was perfect, exceptional, like your dreams, it was just as you imagined, the taste of his lips was minty and refreshing, you could lose yourself in that soft kiss, when he suddenly detached himself from the kiss, you instantly felt an emptiness, as if something was missing.

You looked into his eyes and you knew, just by looking at them, that he felt the same as you felt "I-I always wanted to do this... Y/N I have to tell you now, and if you don't feel the same as I do, it's totally fine but I can't continue with this secret... I... I love you." His alley words about you like a bucket of cold water, but for some reason, these were not what he promised they would be, it was perfect, it was just what you needed to hear, his voice was full of nostalgia and sadness, disappointment, as if what he said earlier was not going to please you, you could not prevent a smile from escaping from your lips, "Why are you laughing?" I ask, he seemed even more shocked "Is that... Fred, didn't you see it?" You said separating a little from him, he now also looked at you with condition "See what?" She said, separating herself further from you, "That I'm in love with you! Damn I've been for so long and this... It's just sublime." You said, this reasoned your words and began to smile, again he went to your lips and another sweet kiss left on them. Nothing could be better than this.

That last kiss little by little raise everything, first, with Fred's hands slowly going down to the small of your back, that took you by surprise, His began to go down even more, taking your butt, where he began to caress, and then, he squeezed it, you jumped into his action and he instantly removed his hands from hi and detached himself from the kiss, looking at you, "It bothers you?" He asked with concern, you liked that reaction one more, and without asking again you kissed him, this kiss even more wild, you took both of his hands, and again you directed them to your butt, he seemed to understand the message and made his kisses even deeper, leaving you almost breathless, with one of your hands you began to lower until you reached his abdomen, it was hard and you could feel the exercise in it, you put your hand under his clothes, feeling a thread of hair, You felt like your touch his skin crawled, wow, it was really exciting, his kisses began to intensify even more, if possible, He raised his hands again and they were on your waist again, they did not last long there, since he inserted them inside your shirt, touching your naked "You are so hot" he said, that made you shiver, His hands were slowly rising while his tongue made its way into your mouth, it was perfect, "We should go somewhere else... Filch usually makes rounds here, it is the favorite place of lovers" he said laughing, you shook your head, you took his hand, and again he led you to another passage, this led us to the prefects bathroom, you had only been there once, and it had been to play a joke on Percy, Fred approached the large tub and waved his wand, suddenly water began to come out of all the taps, bubbles came out of one of them, It was a huge tub and in front of it there was a pair of stained glass windows where you could see a mermaid, who when you saw Fred seemed to act sexy, or at least that's how it seemed to you.

"What are you doing?" You asked "I thought I should take a shower, the corridors were very dirty." He said that taking off his sweatshirt, he just did it and you were stunned, all that made you tremble, you could feel how little by little your center was getting wet, "My eyes are up here" Said Fred approaching you, making you blush, he placed his hands on your hips, making you gasped, he took you and pulled your body to his, he kiss you again, his kiss was wild and hard, slowly began to raise his hands, grabbing the edge of your shirt and pulling it over your head, when I take it out my chest, as if it were imnotized, you are embarrassed to see his gaze fixed on your chest, you immediately tried to cover yourself "You-You don't like it? we can stop if you liked to, you don't have to do anything you don't want ..." he said again, he seemed to be as nervous as you "No, Freddy, it's not that, just ..." You said you tried to dissolve the thought he had, "What is it?" ask taking your shoulders, trying to comfort you, "Nobody, nobody ever touched me ... Like this." You said, he stared at you, he didn't know what to say, "Fred, I'm a virgin" you said, he seemed not to have heard, He brought his hands to your cheeks and gave a raised kiss to your forehead, "Thanks for sharing that with me, I promise to be kind, if you still want to" he replied in a soft whisper, That tone in his voice made your heart pound.

You withdrew your hands from your chest and directed them to his neck, brought him close to your lips and kissed him again, under his hands to your butt, squeezing him and making way for his tongue between your lips, you sighed at his action, and again he raised his hands to your chest and naked, he gently touched your breasts and your skin crawled, you've never felt anything like that before, with his thumb he began to caress your nipple in circles, making you moan, he began to lower his kisses to your chest, where he introduced one of your nipples to his mouth, where he began to suck, you could feel how your legs were shaking, he was distracted for a couple of seconds there, but then it continues to go down until it reaches your pants, where I take the spring and slowly lower them, making eye contact, you felt like boiling inside, he pushed his way between your legs and left a sweet kiss in your center on the fabric of your panties, "I didn't know you liked bunnies so much ... And hearts, and pink" He said mockingly, making you blush, again he smiled in that cute and tender way, lowering your panties, and again he left a kiss on your now naked pussy, that hedgehog until the last of your beauties, he got up again, and dressed as under his pants along with his boxers, as soon as his cock hard as a rock came out bouncing against his abdomen, he let out a loud sigh, almost a desperate moan, he was red and sore, needed to enter you, you were about to touch him, period Fred separated from you and stepped into the huge tub.

"Aren't you coming baby?" He said, you barely got in the tub he Fluched your entrance, making you let out a needy moan, he raised his finger to your clitoris, where he began to give pleasure, "You are a very dirty little girl, you are soaked" said, those words made your center throb again with pleasure, she began to pick up speed, eliciting several muffled moans, "You're not happy love, I want to hear how you moan." Said the redhead, that unleashed a couple of moans that echoed throughout the bathroom, again under his fingers at your entrance and inserted one to the bottom, that made you moan even louder, slowly began to pump and just did it and entered in a second, "I love to how mi finger slide into you" he said, "do you think my cook will to?" that was enough to get yo to the edge.

He took his cock and put the tip of it in your entrance, playing with you "Fred ... Please" you said desperate for his big cock, "Please what?" He responded by sticking it in a little more, but not enough, "Please ... Fuck me" you said, that was next for him to enter you, causing you noticeable pain "Are you okay?" I ask concerned, you loved seeing him like this, so sweet, "yeah ..." You answered, he slowly began to pump, making a desperate moan, slowly began to go faster "you are so tight love ... It fascinates me" he said in a moan, you thought you had never heard anything so sublime in your life, put your hands on your hips and started to pick up speed, the moans in the bathroom was like a porn movie, the sound of their skins colliding and the water bouncing was fantastic, you felt so close to the edge "I'm ... I'm cumming" You said "Me too ... Oh fuckk you feel so good baby" he replied, taking one of his hands and directed it to your neck, hanging you gently, that was next, you felt how the heat swirled on your lower stomach, the thighs of your legs were tense, you felt on top at the same time as him, and when he came out you felt a thick and warm liquid coming out of you, you lean on his chest tired, you could hear her heart beat fast, that had been for the best.

You wondered what Hermione and Ginny would think when you told them.

[mrneighbourlove]

Emergency Friend

"Will you stop kicking your mama's bladder? We had this conversation already." Zizi was in the kitchen making lunch for her two sons, Manaco and Ahusaka, and her husband. Kahli had to go to the Kikai Empire, and she was not necessarily happy about that fact this close to the end of her pregnancy. Yet, she understood that diplomacy issues could not be avoided. "Boys, your baby sister is kicking up a storm. Even you two weren't this bad."

"Daddy says baby sissy is gonna be pretty like Mama." Manaco grinned widely as his mother served him a piece of grilled fish with some salad and green beans.

"Think she'll come and out play soon?"

"I'mma big brodder!" Ahusaka declared to Manaco. "Not little brodder, big brodder."

"You're a big and little brother, sweetie." Zizi kissed the top of his head. "Both of you eat your lunch."

Skull Kid sulked about, sneaking into Zizi’s house. He found himself bored, and wanted to see if he could have fun with his friend. Too bad she was all fat again. Stupid babies. “Wow. You look like a balloon ready to burst.”

Zizi held the spatula up in the air at him. "How many times do I have to tell you? Use the door."

“How many times do I have to tell you I do what I want?” Skull Kid took up room in the entire window sill, his back straight and one foot kicked upwards.

"You can do what you want. Just respect the rules of my house." Zizi waved the spatula at him. "And use the front door. The last thing I want is you falling through my window."

Skull Kid looked to ground, then he looked to the living room floor. “Right... So where’s your Fireplace gone off to?”

"Kahli had business in the Kikai Empire and I didn't want to give birth there or risk it being on dragon back, so I stayed here." Zizi wiped off Monaco's messy face. "The baby is due in three weeks. Against all odds, it's a girl. I thought for sure it'd be another boy."

“As long as they stay kids.” Skull Kid plopped down into her house, walking about like he owned the place. “Speaking about that, I thought I’d stop by to give a gift. Told it’s the nice thing to do.” Rather quickly, he pulled out a rattler made of oak. “I took this from some fairies. Should sooth babies or something.”

"Skully, you know that they're going to be adults one day. But for now, yes, they are children." Zizi was surprised by the rattler. Usually, Skully had the habit of avoiding the babies for a little while, at least until the kids were walking and talking. Due to what happened with his baby brother getting all the attention, she could understand how he felt around infants. She smiled, and said, "That's very nice of you, Skully. I'm sure Keira will like this rattler, this will be her first toy."

“My gift so I don’t have to see them later. Babies creep me out.” Skull Kid didn’t even like toddlers. He wanted Zizi’s kids to hit that fun age of proper childhood. “You expecting any company? Like a friend or doctor to slice you open to get to your baby? Hehehe.”

"Skully, that's not funny." Zizi gave him a frown. "The baby will arrive naturally unless it's an emergency."

“Only emergency will be getting you through the door.” Skull Kid laughed, congratulating himself for that one.

"Go ahead, joke all you want, just know if I sit on you, you're not going anywhere." Zizi crossed her arms. "And if I fart, then you're going to be gagging."

"Mama stinky." Ahusaka giggled.

"No, your sister is stinky, she's giving me gas."

“Pu-pleeeeease, your mommy can barely waddle, let alone have to force to sit on anyone.” Skull Kid chuckled again. “When’s it coming out? Why aren’t you with the ice queen?”

"... Zarazu has duties of her own. I'll let her know when the baby is born." Zizi was getting a little annoyed with Skully's attitude. He was like this when she was pregnant with Manaco and Ahusaka. "Once my daughter is here, Zarazu volunteered to watch the boys for a few days while I recover."

“Ok numb nuts. You’re just, what, gonna sit here alone until you leak out a waterfall?”

"Keira isn't supposed to be due for another three weeks. That means three weeks from now, Skully, 21 days. I have plenty of time, she's just a big baby." Zizi told him. "Manaco was a big baby, I thought I was carrying twins."

“Oh my god humans are sooooo dumb.” Skull Kid rolled his head back from personal annoyance. Why did adults think they could handle every task by themselves? Zizi seemed to be no exception. “Here I thought you were one of the smarter ones.”

"Skully, women have been alone while pregnant. I'll be fine, I am fine." Zizi insisted. "Look, Asakonigei is supposed to come over for a visit tomorrow. Does that make you feel better?" She then said with a small chuckle. "Look at you. All worried for me."

“Well, what if you bleed out? What if something happens to the baby. Can you get someone to look after you? Like Rinku, Doctor Boo Boo, or even Leere?”

"Look, Ari'phompha is right outside in the dragon barn." Zizi gestured through the window. "If I need help, she'll go get someone or even take me there, all right? She's just taking an afternoon nap, she's old. And Doctor Boo Boo helped deliver both my sons, he'll make sure I'm all right. You're worrying too much, he said everything was fine with the baby and me." She pulled Skully closer, in a headlock. "Look, I'm not going anywhere. Pojiji lived to be in her hundreds. Maybe I'll beat her old age, yeah?"

“Dragons are stup-HEY!” He shouldn’t have walked so close to her, now he was pulled into a headlock by a tiny, fat bellied woman. “Didn’t Pojiji die in a fiery explosion? You aren’t making a confident reason for me to not worry.” Finally pulling out, he adjusted his skull mask and hat. “I should get going. Honestly, go get someone. You look like a cow that’s ready to get tipped over in the middle of the night and not get back up. Hey.... that sounds like fun.”

"What I'm saying is, I'm not going anywhere anytime soon, okay?" Zizi gave him a noogie, and then released Skully. "I don't care what cow you tip as long as it's not mine. But before you do that, you want some lunch?"

“Eeeeeeeeeeh?” Skull Kid rocked his hand back and forth. “I’m not super hungry, but I could stay for a bit?”

"All right, if you're going to stay, then do me a favor," Zizi managed lead her boys over onto the rug in the living area. There were carved toys there for her sons to play with while she knitted. Sitting on the couch, she patted the spot beside of me. "Hold my yarn."

“What’s that have to do with lunch?” Skull Kid picked up a ball of yarn.

"Lunch is in the pan on the oven if you want a salmon cake." Zizi told Skully, "You're more than welcome to the last one. I think there's some greens in the pot and some cornbread patties too." She then explained to her friend. "I always knit at lunch while the boys play. I'm working on a blanket for Keria's bed."

“Oh. Neat.” Skull Kid kicked the ball of yarn around like a hacky sack, growing bored.

"Now, now, hold it still, it has to be big enough for her bed." Zizi then asked. "How's the fairies? We don't get to talk as much as we used to."

“They’re doing good, pretty good. Still rather secretive. They didn’t like Ganondorf becoming king, they didn’t like Lorleidians pissing off a big scary monster who blew up a bunch of their friends, and they just, don’t like most people. Humans and monster kind are gross, mean, smelly, and generally stupid. There’s a few exceptions, but eh, they still won’t go public.”

"Well, I know they were always rather cordial when you took me to the forest to visit." Zizi shifted on the couch, feeling too much pressure in her hips. "They are so beautiful too, with such lovely songs. I'm surprised that Navi has put up with Link this long, though. She has told me numerous times that his past selves got into way too much trouble."

“That’s not how you pronounce ‘fun’ Zizi. Link is amazing. Saving the world, having exciting adventures, the best. Kind of sad in some ways Rinku got cheated out of killing Ganondorf this life time. You all could have let her decapitate Vul’kar as compensation at least.” He made a few make-believe sword swings to illustrate a point. “What’s she supposed to do now? Honestly has me worried.”

"I'm sure Rinku will have plenty of fun exploring the world. You know her, she's always had that wanderlust." Zizi shifted yet again, this time putting her feet on the coffee table. "I think she'd love to have a companion with her. Maybe next time she goes, you could go too. Do what you wanted to when she was a kid; go see the world together and pull the biggest prank that anyone has ever seen."

“I go with her from time to time. We have fun because Links don’t get put on this world for it.” Before Zizi could pick up on that Skull Kid switched the conversation in the same beat. “You gonna have hundred babies? Kind of gross.”

"Well, you can always change---OH!" Zizi jolted on the couch, nearly dropping her knitting. "Oh... that was a big kick."

“You see? What did I say? You want me to call someone?”

"It's just a kick, Skully, she kicks me all the---and I need to pee, help me up."

Skull Kid threw the ball of yarn next to her. “Honestly Zizi. You’re useless on your own right now.” He did help, however, pushing hard to get her on her feet. “Lose some weight, man oh man.”

"It's baby weight, I'm not fat." Zizi groaned slightly as Skull managed to get her standing upright. "And I'm not useless, that's a mean thing to say. I'll be right back, just watch the boys, will you?"

“Ok. Your sons weren’t going to pull you up now where they? Go stay with someone after you take your golden leak.” Skull Kid made sure Zizi got to the bathroom, then went to the tiny boys. “Now then. Who wants to learn how to make cheap pies to throw at people?”

"...?" Ahusaka looked at Skull Kid, puzzled.

"Mama says we can't touch the oven, might get a boo-boo." Manaco held up a wooden horse figurine. "Wanna play with me? You can have this horsey. I got another one."

Skull Kid rose an eyebrow behind his mask. “What’s not to get about whip cream? No oven involved. Also, trust me when I say horses are nothing but trouble. Tried to ride one once. Didn’t like listening to me.”

"Horsey fun." Ahusaka insisted, as he carefully lined up all the toy stallions, sorting them by color. "Very fun."

"Mama says not to get near oven." Manaco shook his head. "Could get a bad boo-boo."

"If you're trying to entice my kids into a prank, you might want to wait until they're a few years older, Skully." Zizi felt a little bit better after peeing nearly a gallon. Maybe drinking that orange juice first thing in the morning was not the brightest idea. "They're not the type to disobey... yet."

"Yeah. Cause I'm going to teach them what fun is." Skull Kid got annoyed, finally snatching the horse. "Nyah, nyah, look, its a Pegasus now." Skull Kid took two feathers from his collectables pouch, stabbing it into the horse’s sides. "Here's a flying horse."

"Oooh!" Ahusaka clapped his hands with a delighted giggle.

"Play nice, Skully," Zizi told her friend. "I know they're little right now, but they'll grow and you'll have much fun. Be patient, I promise it will be worth the wait."

"Waiting is a bore. I should know." Skull Kid handed the flying horse back and hopped to the window like a little gremlin. "Imma head out. Not in the mood for sandwiches. Are you going to move in with someone while your husband is away?"

"Leaving already?" Zizi frowned, looking sad. "I know I'm not as fun as I used to be, Skully, but I still do enjoy your company. If you don't want a sandwich or fish, I could always fix you something else." She then suggested. "You used to like it when we baked cookies together. Would you like to do that?" At his question of her staying with someone else, she shook her head. "If you're that worried," She then said with an impish grin of her own. "Stay with me."

Not as fun as she used the be. If that didn't hit the nail on the head. Skull Kid looked back and forth to Zizi and the outside world. He'd seen this scenario enough times before. 'Friends' grew old. They outgrew him. And even if they didn't, they died. Friends that weren't Link were temporary. The outside world always changed and could hold his curiosity. Old people simply didn't. Zizi was a good friend though. She cared in ways others hadn't. Even when he could sometimes act like a jerk without meaning to, she'd stay at his side.

Skull Kid tapped the window frame, looking back her from behind his mask. "Well... I can't take care of you if your water balloon pops, but I don't suppose cookies can hurt."

"What kind of cookies do you want to make? I think last time, we baked sugar cookies." Zizi waddled over to the kitchen and started pulling out the ingredients. Flour, eggs, sugar, and baking soda all went on the counter. "I got some chocolate chips we could add if you'd like. Or we could put in some mint."

"Mints gross. Do chocolate chip." Skull Kid scuttled back down to the kitchen, leaning up to peer over the counter.

"Chocolate chip it is, with..." She stood on her tiptoes, feeling around in the back. Zizi then pulled out a large container of rainbow colored sprinkles in the shapes of hearts and stars. "Extra sprinkles, right? Your favorite?"

"No, no, no. Just the chips!" Skull Kid tapped his hands on the counter in hurry to correct her. "Sprinkles are for little kids."

"Okay, so I'm going to put all these ingredients into the bowl, why don't you get out the pan for the cookies?" Zizi started mixing all the items required together in a large bowl. "And who says you're not a kid?" She teased playfully, "Who wanted extra marshmallows in his cocoa?"

"Because marshmallows actually taste good." Skull Kid grumbled, crossing his arms in a small fit. With a huff, he scuttled over to grab a pan.

"Well, I can't argue with you there." Zizi noted and soon had the mixture stirred into a delicious goop. "Want to lick the spoon?"

"Don't one of your children want that? I'm having the good cooked stuff."

"Just offering, the batter is sometimes the best in my opinion... especially with all the chocolate." Zizi licked her lips. "Do you want to do the portion sizes?"

"Yes." Skull Kid spoke in a tone as if it was an obvious choice from the beginning.

"Heh, have at it then." Zizi slid him the bowl and then make sure to heat up the oven. "So, what do you think of Keira for a baby girl's name? Kahli liked that one the best, though I still like Miku."

"Does it matter? It's your kid. They could be human child 3 for all I care. Keira sounds better though." Skull Kid swallowed down his portions rather quickly.

"Hey, you're supposed to take my side." Zizi teased him lightly with a nudge. "Now, Manaco's birthday party is coming up in four months. You're coming, right? He loved it when you brought fireworks last year."

"Sure, I can do something. You won't like it though. Manaco will love it."

"Oh? What won't I like?" Zizi arched an eyebrow at Skully.

“Secrets I don’t share with parents.” Skull Kid made a ‘bleh’ sound at her, giggling evilly after. “It’ll be fun though, I promise.”

"... as long as no one gets hurt." Zizi shook the spoon at him. "That's my only condition. And no setting things on fire."

“No one gets hurt, got ya. Psychologically either.” Freaking Zolori had to ruin the fun out of that last bit because she couldn’t take a joke. Skull Kid only promised to never do anything like that because Zizi was refusing to talk to him after.

"Good, that's my only..." Zizi stopped talking and looked down on the floor. "...? Did we spill water?"

“No? We didn’t even pour any.”

"That's what I was afraid of." Zizi took a slow breath and steeled herself against a contraction. She had done this twice, a third time would not make a difference. "Skully... I need you to go get---" A wave of pain hit and she groaned, gripping the side of the counter, biting her lip to keep from being too loud. She did not want to scare her sons. "... go get Doctor Boo-Boo."

“Oh.... OH!” Skull Kid panicked, wondering what do in this situation. “I told you! I told you your fat belly would get you into trouble!” Zizi needed help now and not later. With no idea what else to do, Skull Kid took out an old wooden ocarina from his pocket, playing an ancient song. For himself, he had a telepathic line to his best friend. “Rinku! Are you in Hyrule?”

“Skull Kid? What’s wrong?”

They both knew this was an emergency communication line. “Zizi’s exploding water at her house! I think her baby is ready to burrow out! I don’t know what to do! Can you bring Doctor Boo-Boo over here?”

“I’ll send word and head on over!”

Skull Kid looked back to Zizi, looking to her sons. “Hey kids! How’d you like to play hide and seek? Go hide in your rooms, and I’ll come and find you in ten minutes!”

Zizi was grateful that Manaco and Ahusaka lit up at the idea of playing hide and seek with a 'big kid'. After the boys had tottered off to their rooms, she inhaled sharply and tried to deal with the discomfort.

"I am going to throttle Kahli for leaving so close to my due date!" Zizi slammed her hand down on the counter. "He knew better! And damn that Zannah for making him feel like he had to go---ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!!!" Her eyes watered as another strong contraction washed over her body. "Skully... I need you to get a few things ready for Keira's arrival..." She took another deep breath, trying to focus. "Warm water, a few clean towels, and..." She groaned. "And a blanket."

“O-ok.” Skull Kid did so, trying his best to not dawdle. He was able to acquire a blanket and a start the hot water when Rinku elbowed checked through the door and made a tactical roll into the kitchen. “Skull Kid, Zizi! I’m here!”

"Where's... Doctor Boo-Boo?" Zizi asked Rinku in-between deep breaths. She had to keep her breathing right. Breathe through the pain, and keep a clear head and not contemplate homicide. "Is he coming? The baby's already pressing pretty... pretty good."

“On his way sweety. Take deep breathes.” Skull Kid waddled over, placing down the hot water. Rinku took one of the towels, using the hot water to dab Zizi on the head.

"Do me another favor, kick Kahli really hard for me, just one time in the ass when he gets back." Zizi was trying to keep a cool head, but it was really starting to hurt. "I... I don't think the doctor's going to make it in time. She's pressing now and I have to push."

“It’s what?!” Skull Kid’s hands rose to grasp his head in further panic.

Rinku’s face turned a little pale herself. “Well screw my life.”

Skull Kid grabbed the blanket, his hands shaking. “What do we do? What do we do?!”

"One of you is going to have to get between my legs and the other is going to have to steady me, which is it going to be?!" Zizi's voice was starting to sound a little shrill. "I'm going to have to do this standing up, I can't move. Hurry up! Tell me!"

Rinku shouted to Skull Kid, holding Zizi steady. She felt she was the only one who could hold her tight. “Skull Kid! Play catch!”

Skull Kid went to below Zizi’s legs, terrified, yet ready.

"Don't. Drop. Her." Zizi ordered her friend through gritted teeth. She held onto Rinku's hand while the other arm steadied the Zemlja. It was hard to stay quiet, but she did not want to worry her sons who were undoubtedly wondering what was taking Skull Kid so long to find them. She furrowed her brow and tried to keep from shouting. Doctor Boveir was right. After the first child, the rest came rather quickly unless there were complications. One push, then two, then three... and on the fifth push, Keira started to emerge.

Rinku looked down, her eyes widening to the size of dinner plates. How did her own mother manage this multiple times? “Skull Kid! Here she comes!”

Skull Kid nearly bit his tongue to not scream as a squishy bundle of flesh landed in his hands. “Gross, gross, gross, gross. Oh god it’s so- oh where’s that stupid doctor!?!!”

"Don't call Keira gross, you big jerk!!!" Zizi's emotions were running on a high and her knees buckled. Slowly, Rinku lowered Zizi to the floor. She had no strength left after such a sudden birth. Taking her daughter from Skull Kid, Zizi wrapped Keira in a blanket and held her closely, keeping her warm. "All babies look like this when they're born..."

It wasn't but a minute later than Doctor Boveir was nearly tripping over his own feet trying to get in the door. "I'm here! I'm here, Zizi are you---oh." He stood there in shock for a moment. "Oh, wow, that must be a new record, a baby coming that fast---"

"Doctor Boveir, if you would be so kind to hush and help me."

"Right, right!" He fumbled with his suitcase, opening it up and making sure to get out the materials needed.

“You suck!” Skull Kid kicked the Doctor in the butt to move him along. “That was the most stressful situation I’ve been in for god knows how long ago?!”

Rinku patted the doctors back, knowing that he did the best he could for coming in time. “Thanks for coming Doctor Boo Boo.”

"Hey! Don't kick the doctor, you brat!" Doctor Boveir shooed Skull Kid away and then proceeded to make sure Keira's airways were clear and she was healthy despite a sudden birth. "Your little one seems to be in top shape, Zizi. I don't know how you did it, but I'm glad you had some help here with you." He gently took a towel and started to clean Keira of the mucus. Noticing the cookie contents on the counter, he then gave a small laugh. "Well... I bet this one will be really sweet since she arrived while you were trying to bake cookies."

“My cookies. Not yours. You didn’t do anything you hack.” Skull Kid growled towards the Doctor as he took the pan away.

"Would you two mind staying with Zizi a while longer until I can get in touch with Zarazu? She'll probably want to move her sister, nephews, and new niece into the castle since Kahli isn't here." Doctor Boveir gently handed Keira back to Zizi. "She's beautiful. Well done."

"I'm glad she's all right." Zizi looked exhausted. "Thank you, Skully, Rinku..."

“I told you so! And your welcome...” Skull Kid kicked the ground slightly.

Rinku patted her best friends back. “You did well buddy. How about we cook those cookies.”

~

After Manaco and Ahusaka were put to bed by Zarazu, she wished Zizi and newborn Keria sweet dreams. The Zemlja hated to inconvenience her sister, but it was nice to know everything was taken care of for now. She relaxed on the huge bed, and then looked over at the window. "I know you're there, you suck at hiding around me." Zizi said in good humor. "Come out."

Skull Kid knew the castle like the back of his hand. Hoping down and skidding down a pillar, he had a cookie stuffed in his mouth. “You feeling better?”

"A little sore, but nothing that I can't survive." Zizi patted the spot in the bed beside of her. "Thank you for what you did today. That was really brave. I apologize for yelling at you, the pain and my emotions were getting the best of me."

“Yeah they were.” Skull Kid hopped over to her spot, eating his cookie some more. “Please don’t ask me to do that again. I’m glad I did it once for you, but it’s gross.”

"It's not gross, it's a very big ouch, thank you." Zizi poked his forehead. "But just think of it this way, now, you have another little friend to play with. Well... when she gets a little bigger."

“It’s a tiny potato for now. You gonna listen to me next time?”

"Good spirits, yes, I will listen to you... if there is a next time." Zizi crossed her arms. "Kahli is still going to get a lecture when he gets home."

“Gonna divorce him?”

"No, but I have a feeling he will listen next time I tell him he better not leave so close to my due date." Zizi sighed and then gathered the extra blanket at her side and tossed it over Skull Kid. "I think we will have to resume our baking when I return home, Skully. More chocolate chip? Or do you want snickerdoodle?"

“More cookies. I snicker at your doodle.”

"Heh, you never change." Zizi laughed softly and then settled back on the pillows. "Skully, I know this is an odd question to ask, but... do you still dream when you sleep?"

“Nope.”

"So, you just live with the memories of all the lives you've seen." Zizi laid there, in deep thought for a moment. "I know you remember Link from all his lives, correct?"

“Yeah. Little foggy sometimes with gaps in my memory.”

"Do you think you'll remember me?" Zizi asked him honestly. "My family?"

Skull Kid paused. To be truthful, he didn’t know for sure. “I hope so. I do.”

"One thing is for sure," Zizi told Skully with a soft smile. "You'll always be my friend."

“Thank you. You’re my friend too Zizi, He he he.”

"How about we have a sleep over of sorts?" Zizi asked him, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. "Just lay here and talk for a while until we fall asleep?"

“Ok. Sounds like fun.” Skull Kid snuggled happily close. He didn’t get a lot of sleep overs anymore. “What do you want to talk about?”

"How about we talk about updating the tree house a little? I think it needs a fresh coat of paint."

“Yeah, we could do that.”

"Maybe I can grow the tree a little larger and we can add another room. After all, I'm sure my kids would love it if you shared your 'awesome clubhouse' with them one day."

“Well, I suppose I can share one of them.”

"Only one? What if I end up having a dozen kids? You know how Kahli is." Zizi snorted. "He won't keep his hands off me."

“And you said you didn’t know if you’d have more kids. You really are an adult now Zizi. You used to be so free spirited. Now you’re chained to motherhood. Dumb.”

"Hey," Zizi nudged him lightly. "That doesn't mean I can't have fun anymore. Adults can still be fun, but you have to find one who knows how to do so. Tell me, who else would indulge your games? You know that I'm still the master of tag."

“Hide and seek? Appropriate pranks on your sisters. Poisoning Zannah?” He tilted his head innocently at that last suggestion.

"... if you meant laxative in her tea by 'poisoning', quite so." Zizi agreed. "I really don't like that woman. Or her stupid robot."

“Ugly robot too. Why don’t we blow him up?”

"If you figure out a way, please let me know. Though for now..." Zizi then suggested. "Let's think of a way to prank Kahli when he returns. I do believe he deserves it."

“Gonna make him never hurt your feelings again.” Skull Kid, turned to Zizi, noticing she was passing out into sleep. “... Heh. Goodnight friend.”

[qaeuls]

Under The Sky - Chapter 2

BTS x Reader (Y/N = Your Name)

Word Count: 1274 (sorry that it’s so short but It was a good cut so why not)

A/N: /

Masterlist

UTS Masterlist: Prologue || Chapter 1 || Chapter 2 || next

What happened before:

„Yea, I heart you too“ The boy said, I had the pleasure to sit beside. The teacher looked at us dumbfounded and only said a short „Okay, let‘s get started with the lesson!“ I took the seat by the window without asking the boy who was staring at his notes. Well….he didn‘t look bad. But his attitude was really annoying. I stole a few glances of him and turned my attention back to the lesson. Despite the wait for the teacher to come, the clock read 10.55 am so only 5 minutes to go. The bell rang. I packed my things together and stuffed them into my bag. Sora waited for me at the door and smiled at me. „Soo...how was it sitting besides Yoongi?“

Now:

Y/N‘s Pov:

„Yoongi? That‘s his name?“ I asked confused. „Wait...don‘t tell me – well how could you know….He‘s a member of a club. Don‘t worry, not in a bad way club or something like this. It‘s a...well...Actually, they‘re the school‘s most ‚expensive‘ living things.“ She looked at my puzzled face and laughed. „Yea I know, by the look on your face it could mean that you‘re veryyy confused right? And for your first day too...“ „Haha, don‘t worry, I may get used to this the following days I think, so it‘s ok.“ I joined her and we laughed till I met the eyes of Jimin. He was standing across the hall – where my classroom was to be exact. Did he wait for me? NoNoNo, it couldn‘t be. I know he wanted to meet again after maths but it looks like he was standing there the whole time. While I was in thoughts again, Sora said bye and walked to her locker to put her materials in. I stood there on my own watching Jimin talk to two boys. Could they be Taehyung and ….what was his name, something with Ho….Ahhh Hoseok, I think?

He may have seen me staring at him since he made his way towards me before waving them off. „Sooooo, how was maths?“ he said with a smirk on his face. This ass. Again. This ass. „YAH, let‘s not talk about this….Better question, why were you at school and told me you have to meet up with your friends outside the school hmmm?“ He laughed at my outburst and ruffled through my hair. „Aweeee, did you stare at me for so long, hm? Maybe I should have asked the principal to give you the same schedule as me hehehe.“ I wanted to slap him so bad right now.

He‘s teasing me again. I sighed and turned on my heels. „Well, see you after school,jerk“ Don‘t worry, I meant it as playfully as always. Jimin screamed after me and apparently he held a grab of my wrist and turned me to face him. He was so close. I stared at him – so did he. „What do you want?“ I asked. He only smiled and said „Depends on what you want me to want“ „Did you just-“ „Yes Princess, I did.“ He smirked and I laughed at his doing. However, we weren‘t alone. Behind him was the boy or now called Yoongi, specifically Min Yoongi, a member of a certain club I never heard of. He looked at us with a disgusted face and turned around to walk away. Jimin noticed the change in my face and followed the way I was looking. „ Hyung, wait! I need to introduce you to someone!!“ He yelled through the hall and waited for Yoongi to stop in his tracks. He didn‘t stop – what a surprise. Jimin let go of my wrist and rushed to Yoongi, who was walking very fast now. Is he trying to get away that easily? If Jimin wanted something he did everything he could to get that certain thing. And today, he wanted Yoongi to stop in his tracks and get introduced to someone. Well that certain somebody was surprisingly me.  

When I noticed Jimin was out of my sight, I quickly went to the next class. Well..I had no idea where I had to go so I walked through some other halls. „Shit. I think I‘m l-“ „Lost huh?“ I stopped breathing for a second before turning around – only to face another male student. He was tall. Maybe taller than Yoongi. I don‘t even have to say taller than Jimin, because guys, have you seen this man‘s height?  His hair color was also a mix of brown fading a bit into blonde. He had full lips and was wearing a yellow hoodie – which suited him very much. He also wore some Converse and same as Yoongi, ripped jeans. He gave me a questioning look before clearing his throat once more.

„Uhm yes… do you know where I can find room-“ I quickly looked at the schedule „Room 160?“ He gave me a kind smile before taking the schedule in his hand and studying it. „Wow…are you my soulmate or why do you have the same as me?“ He chuckled at his last words before returning it to me. „Huh? I-I didn‘t intend to...It was given to me like this! Jimin did this-“ I tried to explain but he cut me off. „Jimin the same Jimin who goes by Park? That person who smiles at everything and clings to people?“ He gave me an amused look and I nodded. „Well...I don‘t want to disturb you so let‘s get going shall we?“ He smiled once more and walked infront of me. He walked a little bit too fast so I had to catch up with him on a speed. Was he messing with me? He stopped before a door – most likely the biology room. I bowed and mouthed a ‚Thank you‘ in his direction before entering. „Did you forget, we have the same schedule so you have to keep up with me for the rest of the year“ he patted me on the shoulder and I had to hold back a laugh at his remark ‚keeping up with me‘. For my surprise, we were the first ones to arrive so he – he eventually introduced himself as Namjoon, told me to sit beside him and I agreed. He asked me a lot of questions why I got here, how getting home-schooled was and all that stuff. It was kinda nice to talk someone who‘s actually showing interest in these things.

However, we didn‘t had the chance to talk that long since other people bursted into the classroom and took their seats. This time, I didn‘t have to introduce myself in front of the class and for my surprise, Yoongi wasn‘t there. I mean, if we wouldn‘t have had such a bad 1st-impression meeting, everything could be different by now. Biology has easily come to an end and we were freed of school for today.

After leaving the room with Namjoon, I saw Jimin – again, standing far away and talking to other people. He hasn‘t seen me now, I thought so and so I went straight to my locker – Sora helped me beforehand and I couldn‘t thank her enough. If she wouldn‘t have shown me, I still would be walking around with 13 different books, also very large and heavy if I may add. „Ahhh...Y/N glad to see you!~“ I didn‘t had to listen to it twice to recognize who it was – it was of course Jimin. Who else would sound like this? I looked up and saw him staring at me with his big puppy eyes and I knew something was up.

Thanks for reading & See you in the next one~ 

(Had to use this gif since it was Jaehyun’s bday 2days ago aka valentines day and I couldn’t post something XD) Pls bear with it cuz why not

Happy late bday ‘I lived in America for 4 years’, hope you had a good one~!

Annnd if you have the time, please give a look to NCT U - Bosses ^-^ (MV isn’t out yet but the teasers (1,2) are sooo ruuude alr LUCAS AND JUNGWOO WHUUUT ) and shoow a lots of love to them !~

[ssteezyy]

Cat Behaviorist Mikel Delgado Answers May’s Questions

Last month, we launched our new “Ask the Cat Behaviorist with Mikel Delgado” segment. Once a month, we’ll post a reminder for you to post your questions for Mikel. She’ll answer as many of them as he can each month, and I’ll publish her answers in a subsequent post.

Mikel is a Certified Cat Behavior Consultant at Feline Minds, offering on-site consultations for cat guardians, shelters, and pet-related businesses in the San Francisco Bay Area, and remote consultations around the world. She is currently completing her PhD in Psychology at UC Berkeley, where she studies animal behavior and human-pet relationships.

Sleep deprived cat guardians

I am becoming sleep deprived! My Kat wants my attention all during the night, yowling and pushing at me. Could close door but she doesn’t like closed door. She refuses to play at bedtime to tire her out..I need my sleep! (Patricia LeBlanc)

Dear Mikel, I adopted 5 yo littermates Bo & Ellie last summer (days after saying goodbye to my 19 yo Evi). Their daddy, who’d raised them together from the age of 6 weeks with a ton of love, was being shipped overseas and they were in desperate need of a home together, so in they moved. The problem is the habit dear BoBo has of meowing ever so loudly outside my bedroom door every morning starting around 5:30am. I’ve been sleep deprived since they moved in. Sadly I must keep my bedroom door shut because I’m allergic to cats. I adore cats, have always had cats, will always have cats, but I have to sleep in a “clean room” to prevent attacks of allergy-induced asthma. These kitties always slept on their daddy’s bed, so being shut out of the bedroom now must make them feel sad, lonely, forlorn, confused. I’d hoped they’d just get used to the new normal, but nothing’s changed in 9 months. I leave plenty of food out before I go to bed, and there’s usually some left in the morning, so it’s about attention, not food. I do give them a long play session at night to tire them out. Earplugs fall out by morning. I tried to just ignore it and stay in bed, knowing that if I got up when the meowing started then I was just cementing this bad habit — but he won’t stop meowing (I waited 90 minutes once!), and eventually I do have to get up for the day — so of course he’s learned that if he continues meowing, mama will get up. Apparently they’re 1/2 Siamese (and 1/2 Maine Coon), so that might explain some of the vocal volume. Help! I’m sooooo sleepy. Thank you! (Karin Moore)

Mikel:

Patricia and Karin,

Your complaints are similar enough that I’m going to address them together. Cats waking up their humans in the middle of the night is one of the most common reasons I’m called for help. Sleep deprivation takes its toll, on our well-being, and on our relationship with our cats!

This behavior is usually being maintained for a few reasons, the key ones being that the cat gets something out of it and that they aren’t sleepy when we are – and so they need a “schedule shift.” Sometimes the situation is complicated by the fact that there has been a change (such as with Karin’s kitties, where they were used to sleeping on the bed) or a housing situation or cat that doesn’t allow for the cats to be separated from humans at night.

So, to sleep through the night: the first step is to keep the cat more active throughout the day, and for some cats this means more than just a play session at bedtime. Food puzzles, bird feeders attached to a window, and vertical space can encourage more activity during the day. At least one or two daily play sessions with interactive toys will help.

Patricia, I wasn’t sure if Kat is only difficult to play with at night – so there may be a special toy that you reserve for a night time play session, OR you may want to shift your feeding schedule so she plays FIRST, then gets a meal. A lot of humans feed their cats first thing when they get home from work, and it can be difficult to get cats to play when they’ve recently had a meal – just like we don’t like to exercise with a full tummy!

Food can also get cats more on your schedule. I recommend meal feeding (or some variation thereof) so that your cat has exercise and the largest meal of the day shortly before your bedtime. That will make them more likely to settle down for the night. If you don’t want to meal feed, then perhaps pick and choose when your cat has food freely available, picking up their bowls in the early evening so they are hungry at bedtime.

Now is when things get a little gnarly. To really stop this behavior, you have to ignore it consistently. If you give in after 5, 10, or even worse, 90 minutes, then you have just rewarded persistence. Now it is true, Karin, that at some point, you have to get out of bed. Why not use clicker training and reward your cat for going to a perch when you leave the bedroom – only click when he has settled and stopped meowing. You can reward with treats or praise.

A few other things that may help you out: a piece of cardboard with double-sided carpet tape outside your bedroom door will make your cats less likely to sit there (just be careful not to step on it when you get up!). I’ve also found that a heated bed that is turned on only at night can be really helpful for getting cats to give up their human sleeping habit – turns out a lot of them just use us for body heat! Also, I’m a light sleeper, so I use an air filter for white noise, which helps me sleep, and might dull some of those annoying middle of the night meows!

Male feral cat is aggressive with other feral cats and stalks caregiver

I have a small colony of feral cats that I care for and have my own indoor cats that go outside. A male cat joined the colony early this year I had him trapped and neutered but 4 months later he has become very aggressive with the other ferals and my own cats as well – I have the feeding stations on the perimeter of my property but now he will stalk me and my cats near the front door. Is there anything that I can do short of relocating him to tone down his aggressive behavior? Thanks! ( Karen Aseltine)

Mikel:

Hi Karen,

Unfortunately, some cats are more territorial than others – and it is natural for cats to be wary of other cats. I think I would need a bit more information about the interactions and what type of behavior he is displaying to give you concrete advice. The fact that he “stalks” you, suggests to me that he is at least a little bit socialized. This is also complicated by the fact that your own cats spend time outside, so tactics that might keep him away from your front door (such as the motion-sensitive air cans) would also be unpleasant for your own cats.

What might help: spacing out resources so that the ferals’ feeding stations have plenty of space between them. Encourage him to get his needs met as far away from your home as possible (or even off your property). If you can set up any deterrents, in areas that your cats do not go, you might be keep him from getting to comfortable. If he is friendly enough, you might try giving him some playtime with feather wands (yes, you can try them with outdoor cats) to blow off some of his steam, especially if there are particular times of day that he tends to be more aggressive toward the other cats.

Unfortunately, when we let our own cats outside, it makes it complicated to manage what happens outdoors. You might want to consider keeping your own cats indoors part time so that you can set up deterrents to let the ferals know that your home is off limits. I would not rule out relocating, but we also know that for cats in colonies, it often takes several months and several attempts for them to accept each other, so it’s possible that time will heal some of these wounds.

Kitten suckles and kneads on everything, bites and claws

Hi my name is Cindi and we just got a kitten and i think he was weaned too early he suckles and kneads on everything including us(me my fiancé n my 9yo son) also how do i get mittens to stop bitting n clawing us it getting bad we tried the use toy instead of fingers thing and still bites us all the time thank you. (Cindi)

Mikel:

Hi Cindi!

I feel strongly that kittens need a buddy – have you considered adopting a second kitten? This will allow your kitten to have another kitty to take out all that biting and rough play on. Cats can communicate “you’ve gone too far” much more easily with each other than we can with them. If she gets too “bitey,” it’s best to just walk away than try to correct her. Over time, she’ll learn that if she is too rough, she will lose your attention. Be sure not to force her to be held or petted at times that she would rather be playing!

Kittens are at the stage of life where they are going to be most active and they do need a lot of playtime with interactive toys – so things that keep your hands far away from the biting activity, like feather wands (these toy should be kept away from kittens when not being directly supervised), are best.

In regards to the nursing and kneading, your kitten may also benefit from some appropriate toys that let her chew and kick, like kick bag style toys. Cat grass can be another way to give cats an outlet for oral behaviors that might be related to early weaning.

All that said, I still think it would be great to adopt another kitten. Although it sounds like it would be more work, in most cases, the kittens keep each other busy and it ends up being less work for the humans. Plus your kitten has the possibility of a life-long companion of her own species!

Demanding cat won’t stop screaming

Oh if only you could get my cat to stop screaming. She wants her way…to overeat, go outside, whatever…it’s always something….mostly food. She was about double her ideal weight when I got her 4 years ago. I cut back on her food, let her roam outside when I was at home and the weight came off in about 9 months. Now the neighbor got a sport’s car with a cover and she ripped through 3 of them that I had to pay for…so now she can’t roam free outside. I try to walk her supervised every day for a bit before one of her 3 mealtimes. That is the only way to get her back indoors…she is so food driven. But she screams constantly about 2 hours before her next meal. It is driving me crazy so I try to outscream her…send her to the bedroom but she just screams in there! What can I do to get her to stop? I have NEVER had this issue with ANY of my other cats before. Thank you! (Samantha Sandy)

Mikel:

Hi Samantha!

Cats who scream can be really annoying. Unfortunately, they are really hard to ignore so they are often reinforced for their behavior – either because the owner “talks back” or gives in to the cats demands for food or to go outside. Another reason that cats meow incessantly is because they are bored. She needs to be kept busy and occupied enough that meowing for other things doesn’t occur to her!

You didn’t mention your cat’s age, but excessive vocalization and weight loss can be related to medical issues, so if your cat hasn’t had a yearly vet check, it would be worth bringing her in and mentioning the behavior.

It’s great that you are taking her on daily walks! But I think it’s time to give her some more mental stimulation and challenges to keep her busy. Since she is SO food motivated, why not get her working some food puzzles. Cats like this should not get ANY of their food for free. Every bite must be worked for or earned – which brings me to another suggestion. Cats that are food motivated and restless are often perfect candidates for clicker training. You can use the clicker to communicate with her that you like when she is NOT meowing – and you can also train other basic behaviors, such as sitting quietly before meals, or cute parlor tricks like “sit” and “high five.” What I like about clicker training is that it gives cat parents a way to give their cat attention for good behavior instead of responding to their cats when they are being annoying. There are many great resources for clicker training available online or in your local bookstore!

Since she has transitioned to more time indoors, I would also recommend boosting other types of enrichment – such as vertical space, window perches, bird feeders to watch, and playtime with interactive toys. Try to tire her out once or twice a day to help her be more relaxed…and IGNORE the meowing. Trust me, it will be hard at first, but if she gets nothing from meowing, she will do it less.

21-year-old cat won’t play anymore

I have a 21 year old female, Chloe. Chloe doesn’t play anymore. The vet says she’s healthy. I’ve tried several kinds of toys, the feathers, a ball on a stick, catnip mice (she used to play with those.). I just can not get her to play. Is it age related? How can I give he the mental stimulaton she needs? (Rebecca)

Mikel:

Hi Rebecca!

Congrats on Chloe living to such a wonderful senior age! I adore elderly cats, and I’m glad she is healthy. When playing with senior cats, it’s important to change your mind set on what play looks like – it might not be backflips or active chasing. In this case, the goal is mental engagement. That might mean just watching the toy, it might mean occasionally pawing at the toy. More activity than that would certainly be a bonus.

To get seniors more engaged, I recommend using small, quiet toys, such as a cat dancer or feather wand – but try moving it vvvveeeerrrrrrrrryyyy slowly – and try moving the toy under a towel or piece of tissue paper – that is often irresistible!

Most senior cats love warmth and looking out the window, so a bird feeder in a sunny window with a heated bed would probably be dreamy for Chloe. You can try encouraging her to use a food puzzle for treats – if she is very food motivated you could try them for some of her meals, but with most seniors we want to encourage them to eat as much as they want, so check with your vet about whether food puzzles might work for some of her meals. Other enrichment could include cat grass, self-grooming corner combers, and the HexBug Nano cat toy, which is my favorite “automatic” cat toy as it is small and quiet.

I hope you get to enjoy plenty more time with Chloe!

Cat likes to roll in freshly scooped litter box

After I scoop the litterbox my cat Bandit likes to go roll in it. Why does he do this and is there anything that I can do to stop this behavior? (Lorraine Anderson)

Mikel:

Lorraine,

Thank you for the question that made me smile. There are definitely some quirky behaviors that are hard to explain! Many cats do like to roll in dirt, this behavior not only feels good, but in the wild, it might have some protective effects, like preventing parasites or helping cats cool off. Cats may also roll to mark an area with their scent glands.

One possibility would be to harness train Bandit and take him out for a walk around the time you clean the litter box – so he can roll in some dirt rather than used kitty litter. Tactile enrichment, such as the CatIt Spa or corner groomers would give him some other ways to scratch that itch and spread his scent around. More playtime with interactive toys after cleaning the litter box might be a nice distraction for him. Finally, you could consider trying a different brand of kitty litter – although when changing litter, we always recommend doing so gradually and offering choices!

Interview of Mikel Delgado with David Feldman

Wow, everyday issues and answers, purrfect to share. I listened to an interview of Mikel Delgado with David Feldman just yesterday, full of information. (Bernadette)

Mikel:

Thank you for your kind words, Bernadette! David Feldman was a really nice guy, I had a lot of fun doing that interview!

Leash training a cat

Hi, I recently adopted 3 yo Peanut the cat from a rescue. We think he use to have a home but got lost or dumped at a feral colony. He is confident (tail always high in the air) and curious. He doesn’t mind being picked up tho he is very independent (not a lap cat) and sleeps at the foot of the bed. I would love to leash train him and I think he has the right personality but when I tried it once (no issues wearing the harness) he growled whenever I touched him while he was exploring (but he wasn’t pulling away). It concerned me enough that I took him back inside and he fought me (no injuries). Do you have any thoughts or suggestions on how to make this work? (Tanya)

Mikel:

Tanya,

Thank you for adopting a rescue kitty! Peanut sounds adorable. It sounds like when he’s outside he gets pretty focused on the task at hand (exploring) and doesn’t want to be disturbed. Since he doesn’t have any problem with wearing the harness (sometimes that is half the battle), I think that you could use clicker training to help Peanut understand that when he is on his lead, he should follow (and focus on) you when you call him. Target training in particular can show him that following a target will lead to rewards. These exercises need to be practiced indoors first so that he understands the task at hand – because once he is outside he is going to be distracted by all the things to check out there. But a solid base of training will help mitigate some of the effects of all that distraction!

When he is outside, avoid touching him, but instead use the target or other lure (toy or treats) to encourage him back indoors. I would pick him up only if you must. Start with very short ventures outside and keep the lead short at first so that it won’t be too difficult to lure him back in. As he gets more used to being outside, you can increase his time and range. Finally, try taking him outdoors before meals, when he’s a little hungry, so he is motivated to come back inside for food or treats.

Learning from responses to concerned cat parents’ issues

This is my first time reading your column, and I felt very educated by your responses. Thank you for giving well thought out replies to these concerned cat parents! (Jean McCormic)

Mikel:

Jean, thank you for reading! It’s a great place to be sharing information about cats!

Do you have a question for Mikel? Leave it in a comment!

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