#giving myself what i deserved thru dew lol

[dwritesit]

cant get enough

its almost midnight but fuck it - rain comforting dewdrop when his thoughts get to him.

read it on AO3 or below the cut!

...

Rain watches Dewdrop with sad eyes as he curls up into his chest after a long, devastating cry. Dewdrop wouldn't let anyone else, no one except Rain, know how often he cried like this. It would come in waves, ebbs and flows of ups and downs, where things piled up on his shoulders - Rain knew Dewdrop carried the weight very seriously, never wanting any piece to drop. But it always did, and Rain was always there every time, even if Dewdrop’s mind would tell him otherwise. 

“Do you still love me?”

He pets at his fire ghoul’s hair, breathing in his scent, smelling like the cooling coals of a beach fire after the night has wound down and everyone has started packing up. It's soothing, Dewdrop is always soothing to him, even if this was his scent when he's feeling low, and Rain wishes Dewdrop could believe it when he tells him this. That everything about him makes Rain’s life beautiful. That he loved Dewdrop so much that he often felt like he was happily drowning in it.

If only he knew. If only his mind would let him know. 

Rain understood that Dewdrop couldn’t help it. They’d talked about it many times, how he felt like something had broken him after the change, that he didn’t know how to trust anymore. And Rain hadn’t known what to say then - Dewdrop certainly didn’t need to be fixed, and there were no strings of words that could make the pain go away. All he could do was stick around, to hold him when his mind was swirling with self-hatred and fear. 

To just hold him like this.

Here, Dewdrop was playing with Rain’s hands with his arms wrapped around Dew’s small waist as he held him close on his lap. He was always quiet after the feeling erupted out of him, like he’d exhausted every part of himself just simply telling Rain what had been bothering him. It made Rain’s chest ache, feeling the slow, shaky, rise and fall of Dewdrop’s body as he breathed through the tiredness. 

“All I do is take.”

Dewdrop often called himself selfish. He usually said it with a laugh, commenting about how he gets what he wants, takes what he wants, and then worries behind closed doors that he's too much to handle. Rain didn’t see it. He saw a ghoul that was… giving. 

When Swiss was sick, shivering in his room alone and pushing everyone away because he didn't want to be seen in such a weak state, Dewdrop had shoved his way in. He claimed he needed Swiss cuddles, that he needed attention and that Swiss was the only one he wanted. Rain remembered biting his own tongue as a few other ghouls told him to leave Swiss alone for a while. Dewdrop had ignored them and slipped inside Swiss’ space. A few hours later, he and Swiss emerged from the room, the larger ghoul huddling around Dewdrop for warmth as he finally allowed the others to begin taking care of him, looking better already. Rain watched as Dewdrop slunk to the back, letting Mountain take Swiss into his own hands while wearing a small smile on his lips. He hadn’t been selfish then. 

Did he not see that? Dewdrop’s empathy, though he tried to hide it behind false aloofness, was one of the many, many things Rain adored about him. He saw how he watched the others, absorbed them, asking them questions about their days and hobbies, keeping everyone engaged with his bright energy. If there was anyone who could cheer a sad ghoul up, it was Dew. 

Rain could recall countless times he’d seen Cirrus sulking in the mornings, only for Dewdrop to slink behind her, teasing her into a smile with his sharp tongue and a few loving touches. Or the many occasions that Phantom would wake up from nightmares, and Dewdrop who knew about such dreams better than most of them, would coax the quintessence ghoul into his and Rain’s shared nest, grumbling the whole way about how he slept better with Phantom squished between them anyways. Rain observed how Phantom’s ears perked up, tail wagging as he dipped himself into their bed, anxiety melting away at the idea of Dewdrop being the one who needed him.

It happened like that often. A ghoul in need, afraid to reach out and Dewdrop would build himself into a bridge for them to walk across in the guise of needing them first. Rain thinks its because its what Dewdrop himself needs, just someone to outstretch their hand when he's locked himself away and told everyone whose come to the door to fuck off. He needs someone to say fuck that and kick the door down. 

“Everyone would be better off without me.”

Rain leaned down to kiss at Dewdrop’s temple, purring low, knowing his mate did not need words then, just love and safety. Dewdrop slumped further into his arms, the back of his head against Rain’s collarbone as he allowed Rain more access to his face and neck. He peppered chaste kisses on every bit of warm skin his lips could find, brushing his hair back for more. He relished in the way Dewdrop was leaning on him now, letting him love him like he hadn’t just an hour ago.

“I don’t want to-” Dewdrop gasped for breath, “Don’t want to be too much.”

“I love you, droplet,” Rain whispered against Dewdrop’s skin, “I can’t get enough of you.”

Dewdrop shifted in his arms, leaning back a bit so he could look at Rain. His eyes were searching for something, scanning his face with a blank expression, tired eyes red and puffy. His lip quivered, and Rain quickly swooped down to move him so he was straddling his lap instead, tucking his face into the crook of his neck as his small body shook again with quiet sobs. His claws scratched into Rain’s back as he clutched him tight. Rain held him tighter, arms wrapping around him to keep him as close as possible while his fire ghoul, his flame, let everything out through gasps and tears.

He rubbed his back as Dewdrop’s breathing slowed, his cries turning to shaking breaths and small hiccups.

“You promise?” Dewdrop asked, his voice thick and wet. He pushed lightly against Rain’s chest and Rain let his grip go slack until their foreheads were pressed together, his hands resting on Dewdrop’s hips. 

Rain breathed him in, Dewdrop breathed in Rain. 

“I promise,” Rain replied, giving Dewdrop’s hips a squeeze as if it were a punctuation, “I need you, Dewdrop.”