#givesmyheartnightmares

[keepsmyheartawake]

The audacity never ceases to amaze me. This has been the exact Biden administration format for every single press briefing for the last 8 months. Copy and paste. If I had the time and mental capacity to stitch them all into one video, your jaw would drop. “We need more information.” “We are waiting on the war criminals to investigate themselves” (and then you never hear another word about any of these daily investigations) “every loss of life is tragic but 🤷🏼‍♂️” “Israel has the right to defend themselves against starving women and children in tents”

[keepsmyheartawake]

I got a news notification this morning about TikTok being confronted to monitor antisemitism on the site, and of course this exists and always has, but it has me raging. It is a load of shit, we know what they’re really saying. Censor the pro-Palestinian content because to a Zionist, any criticism of Israel is antisemitism. 99.999% of people losing it over this literally do not care if you’re a fkn Franciscan monk, it is the behavior itself, it is the world view, it is the blatant propaganda, it is the manipulation, it is the senseless death and destruction, it is the fucking war crimes.

For me, it's not just the war crimes, it's the cruelty. Like the mass murder gets me angry, don't get me wrong, but since I'm not there, it's just kind of an abstraction to me. I don't want to say that it's a statistic, because these are actual people with actual lives being wiped out, but I've never met any of them. But the cruelty; the upper-middle class influencers in Israelis settlements blacking out their teeth and wearing hijabs to make fun of Palestinians on TikTok; getting their children in on their little minstrel act. The IDF soldiers making a meme of forcing blindfolded Palestinian captives listen to their anthem. The smug, gloating tweets by Israeli government organs, boasting about what they've blown up. Just the absolute lack of shame; the absolute, gleeful, calculated cruelty, the complete pride with which they broadcast their crimes on the Internet, knowing that they will never face any repercussions because everyone in a position to stop them is actively cheering them on. That is what makes me angry; that is what keeps me up at night.

[keepsmyheartawake]

Why do they play the sound of Hind’s cousin dying, but not the haunting voice of the 6yo girl on the phone for hours upon hours upon hours afterward, alone in a car surrounded by dead relatives, begging her mother to come and get her. Or talk about how the Red Crescent then contacted IDF authorities and notified them an ambulance was coming to get her, and how the IDF then killed both drivers and the little girl after all of that. Or how the wounds of the children are further complicated by having zero anesthetic or proper medical supplies, no electricity or clean water - all intentional choices of Israel. Or how the famine is a direct result of Israel and even Israeli settlers stopping aid from coming in. It’s great they’re finally being honest, but still far too passive language. Even calling it a war is disingenuous at best.

[keepsmyheartawake]

They have become all that they fled in Europe, these “indigenous” people.

[keepsmyheartawake]

Not only sexually assaulting detainees, but a month or so ago they sexually assaulted a Palestinian man to death. The video surfaced, they did it in a room full of other detainees, and when they were going to be arrested Israelis rioted in the streets to free them, and claimed it was basically their right to rape other human beings to death.

Since then I’ve seen videos of the IDF doing a “TikTok trend” of posing in front of bombs going off in the background, a video of a burning house with a screaming Palestinian woman and crying baby inside and the Israeli who lit the fire singing as he records, a podcast called Two Nice Jewish Boys where they both claim to speak on behalf of all Israelis when they say if they had a button they’d wipe Gaza off the map and they “don’t give a fuck” about the children, a video of a man and pregnant woman that had been strung up by their necks outside of a building by the IDF, the murder and harassment in the West Bank where they cannot cry “Hamas.” And just yesterday video of Israelis taking nice little family boat tours to watch the skyline lit up by bombs. They’re taking their children on a family gathering to watch other children being murdered. These families are being considered first settlers for the “real estate” in Gaza that they’ve destroyed and will further colonize. Almost all Israelis serve in the IDF, it is a requirement unless you’re exempt from conscription, so to my mind that makes them culpable. Many have dual citizenship, I know a person who used to bounce back and forth from NY to Israel bc he served in the IDF. These people are doing the most horrendous shit imaginable and then coming home to your neighborhoods. And no, this has absolutely nothing to do with being Jewish and everything to do with racism and a sociopathic degree of entitlement via Zionism and that includes Christian Zionism because they are funding this shit, they are at the heart of our government like a malignant tumor.

It’s a year later and I still cannot believe this is life, I cannot believe there is an entire country filled with grandparents, mothers, fathers, sons, daughters who are largely content with a million children, their neighbors, being starved and being maimed at their hand, I cannot believe the people in this country fighting for Israel’s “right” to do so, I cannot believe we share the planet with people like this. Like there is still something somehow surviving in me that does not want to believe this. This thing just gnaws at me and there’s this idea many people have like then why care, why watch such disturbing things, why make yourself uncomfortable by bearing witness to the suffering of others. Can you imagine being in that situation with your babies and your loved ones and the entire world turning its back on you. Because that’s what they’ve received for 80 years already, it’s about time we all got uncomfortable with the unacceptable.

[keepsmyheartawake]

I just.